new ends form application

[HYMN FOR THE WEEKEND]

|NAME: wang yi-lin
|NICKNAME: yi-yi, "loser," "nerd," "attention seeker"
|AGE: 16
|BIRTHDAY: october 31, 2001
|BIRTHPLACE: chongqing, china
|HOMETOWN:chongqing
|NATIONALITY: chinese
|ETHNICITY: chinese

[A SKY FULL OF STARS]

|LIKES:
- sleeping
- bring rewarded
- being loved
- having someone to talk to
- blankets, stuffed animals, her bed

|DISLIKES:
- moving (to new homes, countries)
- being alone
- lies, deception
- curtains, darkness, fog
- her home (apart from her room)

|HOBBIES:
- playing instruments
- art, doodling
- listening to music
really aren't that many if she finds no point to live and no interest in life

|HABITS:
- biting her nails
- worrying over everything
- overestimating consequences
- running away from home when she's afraid


[FIX YOU]

|BACKGROUND:
she was born in chongqing in china. when she was 7 her parents divorced. her parents fought for custody over her and eventually her mom gained custody and brought her to the us for 4 years to study. within the us they moved a lot because her mom could never get a stable job, she was always fired. then her mom got a job offer to korea and they moved again. her mother never seemed to care about her. she lived poorly and had to work everyday to earn money to keep up with school and her daily needs, but her mom often took her earnings. she studies hard because she believes that that's the only solution to not becoming like her parents and failing.

|PERSONALITY:
she's very considerate of others and keeps everything to herself. all she wants is to feel loved and have people by her side. she works hard to ensure the best for herself. she's responsible and does everything herself. at school, even though she's frightened of everyone, she pretends to be strong but still looks weak. at home, she locks herself up and cries herself to sleep. if she had people to talk to, she would talk a lot. however, she's shy and introverted and tends not to talk unless asked by the teacher. she's persevering and wants to be strong and wants to work towards happiness. she is genuine and always tries to help but being naive and clueless about others does not help her. she's isolated from the world, no one talks to her.

|WHY SHE WANTS TO KILL HERSELF:
she's bullied at school physically and people gossip about her- being a nerd, a prostitute, etc. others force her to do their homework. people say that she is fake and she's just trying to get attention when she tries to make friends. since she moved a lot when she was younger, she had a hard time making friends and was always alone when she wanted to have someone love her. she is an only child and her parents are divorced, she lives with her mom who smokes and does drugs and always brings strange men home. she's always alone and feels insecure and small around the whole world. she feels like she's a burden to others as she's unnecessary as a person in the world. she feels that it would be better without her and the world would be happier. since everyone around her seems to not care anyways and hurt her, hurting herself wouldn't be bad either, she would be doing a favor for everyone anyways. she realizes that most of her efforts to survive are useless and she's just wasting time and resources by living so she starts not caring about herself at all. she's cares about others opinions a lot more than herself and her own.

[YELLOW]

|SLOT: uranus
|BACKUP:saturn
|FACE CLAIM: hyunjin (loona)
|BACKUP: park seul (seul__p)
|LOVE INTEREST: renjun
|BACKUP: chenle

[MIRACLES]

WHAT DOES SHE DO WHEN SHE'S...

|HAPPY: slightly smiles to herself before realizing her happiness is everyone else's sadness "yay! wait, i don't deserve this"
|EXCITED: same as being happy, will get hyped for a few seconds then realize "what's the point"
|INSPIRED: she will think a lot and talk to herself, and may be slightly happy for a while.
|THANKFUL: kneel on the ground and pay respect. repeats "thank you" a million times because she is genuinely thankful.
|IN LOVE: questioned whether it really is love, how someone could love a failure like her. at the same time, she'd be happy and hopeful that she could finally feel love. she's awkward because she doesn't know how to love.
|HOPEFUL: constantly prays, begs, and keeps her hopes up really high. "maybe a miracle will happen"
|CONFUSED: dumbfounded, no idea what to do. would probably stand doing nothing, then end up at home thinking a lot.
|HORRIFIED: crying out of fear and praying that something doesn't happen to her. she'll run away from the scene (or try to) as fast as possible.
|IN DENIAL: the "do" "don't" tactic except instead of picking flower petals to decide, she cuts in a pattern.
|ANGRY: she becomes upset instead of angry as she is very passive. she will lock herself up and be alone to think about her life.
|ALONE: talking to herself, questioning life, crying
|WORRIED: she gets scared of the worst things that happen and becomes fearful and sad. she thinks about her life which always ends up in her thinking she's worthless. her worry ends up in her not caring about herself. asks a lot of what if questions.
|BROKEN: doesn't talk at all for two weeks straight, cries everyday whenever she's alone.

[PARADISE]

|HOW DO YOU KNOW EACH OTHER: school, in the hallways
|HOW HE FELT ABOUT YOU BEFORE RESCUING YOU: he was neutral and noticed her, but didn't hate her. he didn't talk to her, he was just aware of her existence.
|HOW SHE FELT ABOUT HIM BEFORE BEING RESCUED: a nice guy that she wanted to get to know someday, but he would never want to know her.
|HOW HE KNEW SHE WAS GOING TO DO IT: from observing, he could always see cuts on her wrist that weren't well hidden and he constant depressing aura. she started to not care about herself anymore, her appearance got messier and she often fainted from lack of food and water. caught her trying to cut herself in the girls bathroom when he heard sobs.
|DOES HE HELP HER MORE: yes
|HOW: talking to her about troubles, giving her what she really needs, love. taking care of her like making her food, helping her with work, showing affection.

[THE SCIENTIST]

|USERNAME:srvnct
|PASSWORD: favorite coldplay song?
viva la vida: it was the first coldplay song i heard.
|WHY SHOULD I PICK YOUR FORM:
depression and suicide are serious topics and many people around me experience thoughts like these. i genuinely care about those around me and hope that no one suffers.
also i worked hard on this :)
really looking forward to it.