Hello everyone, my name is Legendary Emerald, and you are watching J-Rocks.

Intro sequence goes here
Song: Sasquatch (Beat Crusaders)

This is a brand new show I'm starting, meant to inform everyone out there about the amazing music that comes out of Japan. Maybe you've heard some before, or maybe this will be your first time experiencing it. Maybe you're deaf and have never heard any music before, in which case I apologize for the lack of subtitles on this video.

sign language for 'sorry'

Now the sad truth is, most people don't regularly listen to music outside of what's produced in their country, and are even less likely to listen to something with lyrics they don't understand. It's a real shame too, considering the... questionable quality of music being put out these days. I'd give some examples, but you all know what I'm talking about if you've turned on the radio lately.

Those people are missing out on some great bands and artists, and genres that don't get much attention in the mainstream media anymore. So I'm going to make it my personal mission to get people interested in bands they otherwise might never have given a chance, and maybe, just maybe, I won't be wasting my time.

Now a bit of culture shock is inevitable, so for this first episode, I wanted to ease people into the concept of Japanese rock music. And since the biggest barrier to entry with foreign music is the language, well, why not start off with a band who's lyrics are entirely written in English? Such groups are more common than you'd think, and it's more of a stylistic choice than any real attempt to break into the US market. But there is a definite crossover appeal, and who doesn't like laughing when a member of a different culture mispronounces English words? Well, besides 'mature' and 'culturally aware' people, but rock and roll is no place for words like that, and this band knows it more than anyone else. The perennial party band, “Beat Crusaders”.

information on the band's early history

The Beat Crusaders got their start back in 1997, as an idea by Toru Hidaka, inspired by the U.S. Lo-Fi Indie Rock scene. After a few gigs in the Shimokitazawa area, more members joined the crusade, and within a year started to get some critical recognition with their first single, E.C.D.T.

clip of music video

Yeah, Japanese music videos are weird... and fucking AWESOME!

BECR mix of guitars, analog synthesizers, and that old favorite of the 80's, the Casiotone keyboard, gave them a unique and high energy sound, and the stage performances didn't hurt either. You probably noticed the masks by now, which were a major part of the band's image for all it's life. Each is a simple bitmap version of the actual member's face, but it gave the band a unified image, and let them stand out from the rest of the Japanese music scene even more.

I'm now wearing a similar mask

Plus, it just really looks cool!

The band first broke apart in 2003, when all but it's original member left to form the group “Anita Chili Peppers”, which I really should look into one of these days. But Toru made it clear he didn't want the party to stop yet, and recruited three new members who would stay with the band for the rest of it's lifeline. But not before giving the previous members a sentimental send-off in the music video for the song “Sensation”.

clip of sensation

The paper I'm wearing is wet

It's such an upbeat song... why am I crying?!

The band bounced back strong though, and finally flirted with the mainstream when their song “Hit in the USA” was chosen for the opening to the anime BECK: Mongolian Chop Squad. This paved the way for a much bigger fanbase, and more anime appearances.

If you're an anime fan and have been listening to the songs I've sampled so far, and you should have been, you might have recognized their sound by now. Anyone outside of the pacific who's heard of the Crusaders have two likely sources for their familiarity. One of them being part of the undead trinity of Anime series that will never end, Bleach.

Clip of Tonight, Tonight, Tonight opening

Obviously such a popular anime introduced more listeners to the band than I ever could, so despite my issues with the series' ungodly longevity, I have to give props to the show for its usually amazing choices in theme songs. That said, “Tonight Tonight Tonight” wasn't the first song of theirs that I heard, and I'm partly glad for that, as it isn't one of my favorite songs of theirs.

No, my first experience with the band came from a similar, but sillier source. I know full well I'll be mocked for this, especially considering I just badmouthed Bleach, but the first Beat Crusaders song I ever heard didn't come from a streaming anime site, or imported DVD. It came unexpectedly from my living-room television set at midday, on Nickelodeon.

Clip of Kappa Mikey intro

This show seems to get a lot of hate from anime fans, a group I don't associate too strongly with, but for some valid reasons. The show was exceedingly immature at times due to the concept having to be re-worked for childrens animation after MTV gave the production studio a no-go on their own network. And most people just didn't like the fact that a Nick Toon would even attempt to parody Japanese anime. But while a handful of episodes are nearly unwatchable, on the whole I really enjoyed the offbeat sense of humor, and c'mon, credit where credit's due, they got on actual Japanese rock band to compose their theme song. That shows a lot of love for the sources they were parodying, and perhaps as a hint to where all the show's budget went. Certainly not the stiff and borderline offensive animation

Anyways, sorry if I got a bit off track there. The point I was trying to make was that “Hey Hey Look Look” sparked a love for the band in me which hasn't left me yet, and I will probably always associate the band with that song and that show, for better or worse.

The band's style is just so catchy and melodic, with each track sounding similar to the last, but not in such a way that it seems lazy, or even annoying. The band also occasionally mixed things up by having guest vocalistics, such as rapper Wize on the single “Into the Song”. But no one else fit the band like its delightfully incomprehensible lead singer.

And that's my lead in to a segment of this show that I'm calling,

clip of SAY WAAAAAAAAAAAAAT

Occasionally when listening to foreign music, you'll start to hear English words where none exist, or misinterpret actual English due to the singer's  accent and the inflection they place on words. If you're like me, meaning, immature, too lazy to look up actual lyrics, and perhaps a bit more deaf than you'd like to admit, you can hear some craaazy shit. For this episode I have three songs, I'm going to play sections of them that are in complete english, and I want you to guess  what the hell the singer just said. Give your answers in the comment below, and your answer will show up in the next video. Ready?

section from Clown for the day

Figured it out? Well let me see if I have.
“Mommas got peanut gun for the day.
Momma tell me why I'm a lose
It's among the finer jews.”

Good a guess as any. Next clip.

section from Feel

“Die like me alone, all my friends are gone.”

Apparently, this is the true face of “Forever Alone”

still shot of the guy's face

section from Love Potion

“Let's get an abortion, in Russia, tonight!”

Either I have a sick mind, or this song does. Guess I shouldn't expect much considering the band has an EP called “SEXCITE”, and a song titled...

screenshot of the title Cunt, Buy Me Love

Uh, surprisingly good song by the way, heh heh...

So what are my recommendations?

Well to start with, the album I've listened to more than any other would be P.O.A., Pop on Arrival. It contains a lot of my favorite songs, including Hit in the USA, and the three tracks I just played. Also of particularly note is their last and final album, Rest Crusaders, released in 2010. Containing both new songs and remakes of some of their very best singles throughout the years, it's a great way to get into the band for newcomers.

So, I hope you've enjoyed the show. Everyone's musical tastes are different, so maybe this band wasn't your cup of tea. In which case... fuck... you? No, I'm kidding. The next episode will be about a completely different band, who have a completely different style. And if you have any personal suggestions for bands and artists I should cover in the future, send me a private message, and I promise to check them out. If there's enough material, they just might make their way into another episode... of J-Rocks.

credits roll