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a guest Mar 21st, 2019 67 Never
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  1. This is going to scare you, but I don't want it to. Read the whole thing.
  2.  
  3. I was afraid we were going to snap out of it today.
  4.  
  5. I knew we'd both be busy. I knew we'd be around other people and living our lives and fucking stressed and reality would sink in.
  6.  
  7. I didn't know, or think necessarily, but wondered, if the constant attention and messaging and flirting and questioning and discovering was just holding together a normal lusty thing.
  8.  
  9. That by the evening you'd be back to your routine and I'd be back to mine and maybe we'd text a "hey, goodnight" and that would be it.
  10.  
  11. But....I was wrong.
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  13. I got busy, real busy. So did you. And there were definitely times you weren't anywhere near my mind. But it didn't scare me. And I smiled when I realized what was happening.
  14.  
  15. That there's no snapping out of this because that connection isn't lust. It's something else. It's deep and true and lasting and will evolve and take different forms but will, I think, always be there.
  16.  
  17. I'm still here. I'm calm. And I still want to do nothing but talk to my new... (???)... tonight in any capacity that she will have me. And I'll know that it will be okay and I'll still want more tomorrow and the days and months after. Because that shit can't be faked.
  18.  
  19. I know I told you I'm a worrier. I didn't actively worry about this. But was curious.
  20.  
  21. My heart lead me here. I hope what I said was okay. You mean a great deal to me, C.
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