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Oran Mini - Everyone Loves Terri

Bigwood Oct 10th, 2011 120 Never
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  1. [21:59:31] <Balthazar> Spring 84! A week before the firework festival starts, and Balthazar seems to be quite busy fiddling around on his workshop, diligentily working on a strange contraption that seems to be a mechanical field with two humanoid bots on each side of it.
  2. [22:00:08] <Balthazar> "Mwahahaha! Ze 'Sawk em' Thror em' vill be ze GREATEST toy of all time!"
  3. [22:00:15] * Terri is on the other hand sleeping in his UFO House.
  4. [22:02:43] * Terri snores loudly.
  5. [22:03:11] <Balthazar> <This contraption is designed for entertainment. We have more advanced kinds on our planet, though.> says the big-headed Elgyem. "Oh, stop complaining and go do somezink about zat layabout, eh?"
  6. [22:05:51] <Balthazar> "Cripes, 'e is 'ere for a long time!" Balth places the contraption on the table and heads to the UFO house. "Hey, it's morning already, dunder'ead!"
  7. [22:06:09] * Terri yawns and wakes up.
  8. [22:06:53] <Terri> "No dunderhead. me no waste power."
  9. [22:06:59] <Terri> "Me rest lots."
  10. [22:09:07] <Balthazar> "Vell, you should... Gather vood! Or vhatever you do. If you are living on my garage, you better contribute!"
  11. [22:11:21] <Terri> "You gar....age? My home."
  12. [22:11:24] <Terri> "No yours."
  13. [22:11:57] * Balthazar points at the space around the UFO. It is a garage. "Vell, your home is inside my garage, as you can probably see, eh?"
  14. [22:12:15] <Terri> "Will fix."
  15. [22:12:29] * Terri gets outside and tries to push the UFO out of the garage.
  16. [22:12:48] <Terri> 1d20+5+6
  17. [22:13:21] <DiceMaid-9001> Terri, 1d20+5+6: 30 [1d20=19]
  18. [22:13:35] <Balthazar> "H-hey, it's mine!" he tries pulling the UFO.
  19. [22:13:49] <Terri> "No. Mine."
  20. [22:13:53] <Terri> "I find. I keeps."
  21. [22:15:11] * Terri keeps pushing it out.
  22. [22:15:18] <Balthazar> "But ze original owner is my indebted slave, eh?" <He's right on that one.>
  23. [22:16:34] <Terri> "Orig...nal own..er... badmen. doofer stop. mine now."
  24. [22:17:57] * Terri continues pushing, looking for an exit.
  25. [22:19:24] * Balthazar tries to push the UFO back, but his puny skinny arms can's even hinder Terri's effort!
  26. [22:19:58] <Balthazar> "I-it's mine, i vant it!" he says on the verge of tears.
  27. [22:21:35] <Terri> "Can visit."
  28. [22:22:05] <Balthazar> "No, i vant it so i can make it fly!"
  29. [22:23:25] <Terri> "Home...fly?"
  30. [22:23:47] <Balthazar> "It's not a home, it's a spaceship, you moron!"
  31. [22:24:01] <Terri> "Home now."
  32. [22:24:06] * Terri keeps pushing it out the exit.
  33. [22:24:33] * Balthazar reaches for his stunner gun! "No, it's -MY- ship, eh?"
  34. [22:25:50] <Balthazar> "...ZE BIDOOF VANTS YOU TO TAKE ZE SHIP AWAY, RIGHT? I VILL NOT LET 'IM!"
  35. [22:26:28] <Terri> "Doofer in ball. my choice. want home in forest."
  36. [22:26:54] <Terri> "loud here. Sleep bad."
  37. [22:28:46] <Balthazar> "Vho cares if it's loud, i can install sound isolation! But ze bidoof... IT'S PROBABLY IN TANDEM VIZ ZE FREAKING ALIENS!"
  38. [22:30:39] <Terri> "That silly. can visit if goodman."
  39. [22:30:47] * Terri keeps pushing the ufo out the door.
  40. [22:30:56] <Balthazar> "I don't vant to visit, i vant to make it fly!"
  41. [22:31:24] <Terri> "make fly in forest."
  42. [22:31:44] * Balthazar shoots on the floor near Terri. "STOP RIGHT THERE."
  43. [22:31:54] * Terri turns around.
  44. [22:32:02] <Terri> "You badman? My home."
  45. [22:32:51] <Balthazar> "You... Can keep it if you let it 'ere!"
  46. [22:33:15] * Terri looks at Balthazar puzzledly.
  47. [22:35:55] <Balthazar> "Y-Yeah! I am a nice person, so if you keep ze ship inside my garage, i'll let you live inside it!"
  48. [22:36:44] <Terri> "Food no near."
  49. [22:38:07] <Balthazar> "You damn troglodyte, zhere is a bakery right zhere!"
  50. [22:38:48] <Terri> "No free. I find food."
  51. [22:39:06] <Balthazar> "You can eat ze scrap metal zhen!"
  52. [22:39:18] <Terri> "No tasty."
  53. [22:39:38] <Balthazar> "You ever tasted it?"
  54. [22:39:55] <Terri> "Yes. No tasty."
  55. [22:41:01] <Balthazar> "Vell... Uh... Ze one 'ere is tasty!"
  56. [22:41:19] * Terri looks at him quizicly.
  57. [22:41:56] * Balthazar grabs a gnarled mound of nails and razors and hands it to Terri. "Try it!"
  58. [22:42:07] <Terri> 1d20-4
  59. [22:42:12] <DiceMaid-9001> Terri, 1d20-4: -3 [1d20=1]
  60. [22:42:17] <Terri> (SOUNDS LEGIT!)
  61. [22:43:08] <Balthazar> (DO IT)
  62. [22:43:27] * Terri grabs a handful and shoves it into his mouth.
  63. [22:43:27] <Terri> ;_;
  64. [22:43:49] <Terri> 1d20-2
  65. [22:43:49] <DiceMaid-9001> Terri, 1d20-2: 15 [1d20=17]
  66. [22:44:01] <Balthazar> "Tasty, no?"
  67. [22:44:06] <Terri> "GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"
  68. [22:44:09] * Terri spits them out
  69. [22:44:19] <Terri> and runs around screaming, bleeding from the mouth.
  70. [22:44:59] <Balthazar> "OH ARCEUS YOU DID TRIED IT, 'OW ZE 'ELL DIDN'T NATURAL SELECTION ELIMINATED YOU ALREADY."
  71. [22:45:34] * Terri rushes to balth "AAAAAAH!"
  72. [22:45:39] <Terri> 1d20 PUNCH TO THE FACE
  73. [22:45:40] <DiceMaid-9001> Terri, PUNCH TO THE FACE: 11 [1d20=11]
  74. [22:47:00] <Terri> "YOU LIIIIE!"
  75. [22:47:14] <Balthazar> (roll damage?)
  76. [22:47:35] <Terri> (Gonna assume fist user damage.)
  77. [22:47:51] * Balthazar is punched on the face and rolls on the floor! "Owwww ;_;"
  78. [22:47:59] <Terri> 1d4+4+5+6+6+7
  79. [22:47:59] <DiceMaid-9001> Terri, 1d4+4+5+6+6+7: 32 [1d4=4]
  80. [22:48:13] <Balthazar> "I assumed you vhere immune to pain like a slowpoke!"
  81. [22:48:23] <Terri> whoops. 1d8
  82. [22:48:23] <Terri> 1d8
  83. [22:48:23] <DiceMaid-9001> Terri, 1d8: 3 [1d8=3]
  84. [22:48:28] <Terri> so 31 damage then
  85. [22:48:36] <Terri> "ME NO SLOWPOKE!"
  86. [22:48:38] <Balthazar> "And therefore you could eat ze scrap metal!"
  87. [22:48:47] <Terri> 1d20 KICK TO THE FACE
  88. [22:48:48] <DiceMaid-9001> Terri, KICK TO THE FACE: 6 [1d20=6]
  89. [22:49:19] <Balthazar> "Ow, you dickvad!"
  90. [22:49:19] <Terri> (AC5)
  91. [22:49:26] <Balthazar> (oh, misses then)
  92. [22:49:45] <Terri> (Its only AC2 if Im throwing something at you, or if I axe you.)
  93. [22:49:51] * Balthazar dodges from the kick and tries to shoot Terri!
  94. [22:49:56] <Balthazar> 1d20 stungun ac 8
  95. [22:49:56] <DiceMaid-9001> Balthazar, stungun ac 8: 14 [1d20=14]
  96. [22:50:05] <Balthazar> (Parasleep)
  97. [22:50:29] <Terri> miss
  98. [22:50:42] * Terri rolls out of the way.
  99. [22:50:55] <Terri> (Dat +7 dex.)
  100. [22:51:00] <Terri> (Now I know how Steve feels.)
  101. [22:51:31] <Balthazar> (damn!)
  102. [22:51:45] <Balthazar> "You jerkvad, stop right zhere!"
  103. [22:53:50] <Terri> "BADMAN!"
  104. [22:53:58] * Terri attempts to knock the gun out of balth's hands
  105. [22:53:58] <Terri> 1d20
  106. [22:53:58] <DiceMaid-9001> Terri, 1d20: 3 [1d20=3]
  107. [22:54:07] <Terri> not sure wtf kind of check that would be.
  108. [22:55:09] <Balthazar> (a resist one?)
  109. [22:55:14] <Balthazar> 1d20 keeping gun on hand?
  110. [22:55:15] <DiceMaid-9001> Balthazar, keeping gun on hand?: 17 [1d20=17]
  111. [22:55:36] * Balthazar tries to punch Terri back with his mechanical arm!
  112. [22:55:39] <Balthazar> 1d20 Meteor Mash
  113. [22:55:40] <DiceMaid-9001> Balthazar, Meteor Mash: 6 [1d20=6]
  114. [22:55:52] <Balthazar> (miss?)
  115. [22:56:13] <Terri> most likely. +7 dex = 7 evasion right?
  116. [22:57:04] <Balthazar> well, i remember evasion got nerfed on the last update
  117. [22:57:40] <Damien|ZZZ> (trainer evasion got untouched)
  118. [22:59:58] * Balthazar punches the air!
  119. [23:00:28] <Balthazar> "Vhat in ze 'ell, you are slow on ze mind, and yet your body moves viz ze elegance of a Swanna dancing on ze rain!"
  120. [23:00:35] <Terri> 1d20 KICK TO THE GUT
  121. [23:00:36] <DiceMaid-9001> Terri, KICK TO THE GUT: 15 [1d20=15]
  122. [23:00:50] <Terri> 1d8+4+5+6+7
  123. [23:00:51] <DiceMaid-9001> Terri, 1d8+4+5+6+7: 29 [1d8=7]
  124. [23:01:20] <Terri> whoops forgot the extra +6
  125. [23:01:26] <Terri> so 35
  126. [23:02:09] <Terri> (Also, terri's speech is obviously heavily muffled.)
  127. [23:02:25] <Terri> "GYAAAAAAAAAAH"
  128. [23:02:28] * Balthazar cowers as he's kicked right on the jimmies! "S-stop 'itting me you bully! ;_;"
  129. [23:03:08] <Terri> 1d20 one more kick
  130. [23:03:09] <DiceMaid-9001> Terri, one more kick: 11 [1d20=11]
  131. [23:03:25] <Terri> 1d8+4+5+6+6+7 if hit
  132. [23:03:26] <DiceMaid-9001> Terri, if hit: 31 [1d8=3]
  133. [23:03:45] <Balthazar> (that's just mean of you!)
  134. [23:05:01] <Terri> Afterwards, terri runs for the door screaming
  135. [23:05:03] <Terri> "GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"
  136. [23:07:05] * Balthazar coughs blood on the floor, adjusting his glasses. "Vell, at least he forgot ze UFO..." he murmurs.
  137. [23:08:56] * Terri runs around town screaming "haaaaaaaalp, haaaaaalp it huuuuuuurts"
  138. [23:14:11] <Balthazar> <You know, you shouldn't have tried to make him eat rusty metal.>  "Oh, shut up!"
  139.  
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