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Also, I feel like giving a sotu for John ... Since there have been lots of small undercurrents ...
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So, he gave up the farm since it was too close. John does not have any effort to absorb his energies that is not buried in people and social aspects. (I have been struggling on how to show this in a more visible way.)
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He really should have a hobby to just level him off ...
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Lavender decided to hit twice, though! She mentioned being okay with meeting Hannibal even if she was scared of him. Funnily enough, circumventing any talks about having a friend or someone important to him that a lot of his close CR has been teased with ...
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Which hit on a huge fear: Being an agent in any world under Hannibal's control. So, he flipped out as you do.
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Now, John has a lot of rules and aims in Imeeji. But he's been clear with a few people that he has always wanted to remain in place, never leaving, in order to occupy "his" space and also keep watch on the usual suspects, i.e. Intensity, C, Joker, etc.
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No one gets to have this power ...
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But in being shocked by Lavender so much, he instantly wanted to run away. Sequester Hannibal's influence to one world, remove his influence from this world, disappear back into the mist ...
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The kicker ... Is that John was pushed back from it because of his initial desire to stay put and see it through into eternity ... And because son looked like the saddest sack ever.
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The trade-off is that John is not going to take memories any more. He is going to cut off that one pain/comfort of the person most important to him in order to remain in Imeeji, serving a cause that is not clear.
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And that's sort of John's thing: He has to serve some purpose or he would not bother with people at all. It's why I can't put him in free form games without any sort of aim; he just becomes a content hobo.
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It is becoming clearer as times goes on why Will pulled away from people so much. It is not solely a fear mechanism, not fear of harming or being harmed, but he also gets pulled to act by talking and interacting with people. He ... Struggles with trying not to fix and help everyone.
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He could ... But it would drain him ... Erase him.
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His mind and behavior has to be contrary in order to create clearer lines between him and the people around him. If he went with inclinations, he would disappear. (And he would also creep people the fuck out, because he does climb into them, sinking deep under their skin.)
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He's really ... Starting to hit that wall with LiliS. He cannot help, and in wanting to help them ... He does horrible things
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See, in WC, he picked out the underdog, Silver, who was serving as a center of morality on the unit and tried to push the overton window in order to relieve that pressure. But it blew up on him.
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(To be fair, he also couldn't abide with WC, but he would have been fine with them if there wasn't any moral factor on the unit. Psychopaths and otherwise are friends.)
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Now, in LiliS, he's doing the same damn thing! Amaranth serves as a strong underdog who wants to effectively handle situations that will harm the unit. He also heard Gladiolus' dissenting opinion that they should try to win even if it was awful to do so.
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So, he was sterner than Amaranth and pushed harder than Gladiolus for the win, because these people need to see the results of their actions. Lavender can't be passive and go on allowing everything, but push back instead.
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Asphodel has no read yet but he may end up with one.
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This is ... Just how John is.
curє ☆ ѕtαr
this is legit fascinating
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It's too much. Right now, he's just tired and exhausted from being other people and investing in other people ... So, his main thought is going to be to pull away. He's been caught in the immediacy and now now now which is not helpful for a long-term plan.