Kitten Kiboodle - Interlude 1 - This Pit and My Pit

 I've done all of this before.

 but that doesn't mean I want to do it again.

 Back then, I used to be somecat. I used to be somecat that everyone out there could appreciate. Or I'd like to think that. My cartoons were short then, two minutes at most and only got viewed in front of the pictures of the time. BUT! I was in front of some of the best and most well known pictures of the day. There was The Black Dream, Unwanted House, Down the Drain, Cherry's First Night, and even You Touch and You'll Know. I wasn't a nobody. I wasn't nothing. but I didn't catch on either.

 "Boring."

 "She doesn't do anything funny at all."

 "What's the appeal of this fucking cat?"

 I heard it all. The audience barely looking at the screen as they derided me in the papers. My bosses knew there was a problem, and they didn't keep it a secret. They didn't know I could hear them, but I heard every single word that came from their mouths. I wasn't a funny cartoon. I wasn't a clever cartoon. I was just a cat who did pleasant things with other pleasant animals. I never got up to any hijinks. I never fought a villain. Hell, most of my toons hardly had a point to them. The bare animation didn't help much either. I was thrown up on the screen with no help. I was just there to try. Dance? Joke? Just try anything and see what happens. Nothing. Nothing happened.

 and I was gone.

 There was a blackness that took over my whole being. The whole world painted in a putrid color that stunk of ink. It filled my nose, my mouth, my ears, my eyes, until I could feel nothing at all. I was a mistake. An ink blot in a world that could do so much better. I couldn't give up now. I couldn't let myself stay there forever and ever. As hard as it was being on screen, the time in between sessions was worse. I had to have some kind of purpose in my life. Whether or not I had a life was even debatable.

 I did the only thing I could do. I started walking. Even putting one paw in front of the other was hard work. Every step felt mushy and it felt like there was something clinging and dripping off of my legs. Like walking through honey. Each step stuck my paw to the ground and I had to wrench it out again. This repeated over.. and over.. I didn't feel exhausted. I didn't feel anything. I tried to cry out, but my mewls were turned into sick gurgles as the fluids in my mouth just overflowed onto my chest. There was no one coming for me. Yet I still walked.

 I remained sane the only way I knew how. I counted my steps. Every one.

 There was no where to go, I found. Nothing to see. I heard nothing. I saw nothing. More tellingly: I felt absolutely nothing either. Just the sticky sludge under my paws. Not once did I encounter anything resembling a landmark. Not once did I feel as though I had made any progress. Not once did anyone come looking for me. Not once did a light shine down on me.

 Before that day.

 The best day of my life. I had broke free, like coming up from a pool of water, and I gasped for air among a white expanse. The sludge was gone and yet I could still feel it clinging. My body hardly felt my own without it anymore. There was talk. There was light. There was something there. It all looked so different around me. From my square of light I looked out into an expanse of nothing and yet this time there was a voice in my ears. Several.

 I was back.

 They had found new appeal for me. Or were just trying to. Soon my white square became a whole world drawn and colored. I had friends. So many other cats to talk to and play with. I had a home, a pink castle even. I had magic. Anything I could dream of. Sure, me and my friends had to fight dastardly villains every now and then but in the end we always went home to our castle happy and content. Snowbell, Lily, Chrysanthemum, Doodle, Tabbytha, and of course Ginger my new sister. Those were the days. Fifteen minutes of adventure a week and a load of downtime in between. This time we WERE beloved. Toys were flying off the shelves, they say. Who cared if our stories were vague and who cared if there were animation mistakes? No one. No cat.

 Still, we couldn't be on top forever. Every moment outside of that ... pit felt like a fleeting second. The time did come to go back there. They said we were finished. They said children wanted to move on to the next big thing. They said little girls wanted something newer. I didn't understand at the time. Little girls? Were they the ones making the world? The voice I listened to was a man. Felt like an adult man. A human man, even. When I asked the others they just stared at me in confusion. They didn't hear the voices I did. They didn't even know what a 'human' was, something I thought everycat knew. Doodle started to spread the rumors that I was a little 'donky' in the head. They started to distance themselves from me. It didn't much matter though. The world was growing darker every passing day. The sky dimmed, characters started to fade away until no cat could remember the Grullies of the rock kingdom or the Chippins from the candy mountains, and whole sections of our world just went away. I would wander the edges every morning to see what was left and every time I did I found one fewer setting. Replaced with a black expanse that nocat seemed to be able to see. I would tell them about the blackness and they would just laugh or shrug. "You're losing it, Cin." I'm losing it? They're the ones who've already lost! We all lost! There was nothing left TO lose.

 It was only a week of trips out before the whole world went pitch black again. That inky abyss. I couldn't hear them or see them but I knew I wasn't alone in the pit. Taking steps back towards where the castle used to be I found them all in a huddle. My old friends. They were covered with the ink, trembling and I felt around their bodies in the hopes of getting them to move as I was. They didn't stand up. They were alive, but they refused to stand up. I tried so many times. I pushed and shoved but they all just lay there, shaking and flailing when I tried to touch them. I found the smallest: Ginger. I opened my mouth, drooling ink on her fur when I bit at the nape of her neck. I could do nothing for the others. They would rather squirm like maggots than maintain stability. Ginger didn't move at all, so she was the best choice to save even if she wasn't the smallest. I took her and I started to walk again. Time passed with each step and yet I was sure that the light would shine on us again. It had to! They brought me back once! Why wouldn't they just do it again? Why wouldn't they hurry up and draw me a new world!? A world we could live in and be happy forever? Why would they put us here? What had we done wrong? Whatever it was, our next show would fix every last bit. Our next show would go on forever. We would never come back to this pit. Never.

 This time I didn't count my steps. This time I thought of ways to make our shows better. I thought of things we could do.. Anything we could do to make us immortal. If those 'little girls' watched our show for the rest of their lives we would be safe. So we had to do everything we could to appeal to them. No matter what.

 I was still absorbed in my thoughts when the world turned to white again. This time just as shocking as the last.. I gasped for breath, and Ginger was no longer there in my mouth. Was she..? No. I looked to the right of me and in that white expanse I saw all of my friends. I ran to them, greeted them. They had no idea who I was. They looked at me with the same confusion they looked at each other with. Even Ginger.

 I would not be upset.

 I would not cry.

 They meant every word of their denials. So if they insisted on not knowing me.. Then I would be someone that would better guide them to success. We were given another chance. Over time we were drawn in a new world, and this world would have structure. This world would have compelling stories and growing characters. All it needed was a director. When I heard the people outside speaking, I did my best to command the others to follow that voice's instructions. I convinced them to obey me by telling them of the pit. Those who didn't believe me.. I needed new tactics to deal with those. Those who would jeopardize our show would need to be punished. I made the Bobbed City for them. I don't go there often. Everycat has learned better.

 The sky grows dimmer and dimmer with each season. It just means I will have to try harder. I will never return to those pits again. I will never let them forget me and I will not allow anycat to ruin this for me. Even Ginger is working with me again, my co-princess I guess. Even if she is not in my kingdom she will always do what is necessary to keep the show going. The other cats do not take this seriously but they will. If they take ME seriously, they will take this threat seriously.

 If they don't shape up, the pits will drown us all.