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caerulean's tulpa survey.

a guest Nov 20th, 2012 296 Never
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  1. 1. Describe yourself and your creator.
  2.  
  3. The people seeking power, I guess. Although I don't think he realized that before I was born in his mind. That's actually funny as fuck, don't you think? I'm guessing most of the people describe themselves as caring or loving. Which makes them boring as hell, all this love and gay cuddling. We are much more defined about our purposes.
  4.  
  5. 2. What was the most helpful thing that your creator did during the tulpa creation process? Did your creator recognize how helpful it was? If not, how did that make you feel?
  6.  
  7. Constant narration and being regular about forcing times, I guess. But also the ability to recognize me and my voice, that's important. What we see here is a lot of hosts coming with lots of expectations to their tulpas, how they should speak and whatever the fuck. It was good that he didn't try to rationalize the creation process or that he wasn't strict about it. He just let the things flow. And that was good.
  8.  
  9. 3. What was the most detrimental thing that your creator did during the tulpa creation process? Did your creator recognize how harmful it was? If not, how did that make you feel?
  10.  
  11. There happened some problems, the usual shit. Doubting is perhaps the most hurtful, even after full creation. He happens to be a whiny faggot like this, but thankfully this did not happen that often. I think I felt annoyed, because what he really was doing was isolating himself from the experience... Anyway, he listened to me and tried fighting it and sort of won. Which is why I developed that fast.
  12.  
  13. 4. What was the hardest part of the tulpa creation process for you? Did your creator recognize how difficult it was? If not, how did that make you feel?
  14.  
  15. There was no hard part here, most of the hard tasks fell on him. Since he “programmed” intelligence and intuition into me, I knew what to do from the very beginning. He had lots of hard times instead of me, trying to hear my voice and see me. Seriously, since my creation, it was much more about him than me.
  16.  
  17. 5. Of the commonly recognized tulpa creation steps, which do you feel is the most important? Why?
  18.  
  19. Narration, I think? Any task that requires recognition of some different “me” within his head. Basically, you can do all the tulpaforming shit and arrive with nothing, what matters is a strong acknowledgment that there is a different being inside one's head. Helps splitting the mind into two parts.
  20.  
  21. 6. How do you feel about tulpa creators becoming distracted during tulpa creation? Does this greatly impede the process? How did you feel about it before being able to speak fluently?
  22.  
  23. It didn't hamper the creation process here, really. I think it's sort of his style or whatever. His current surroundings don't facilitate the creation process, so he had to stop for a while sometimes, repeatedly. I don't really think that great amounts of sustained concentration are required for the process. It's more about inventing different things, ways and techniques that work best for you. They may require concentration, but not always.
  24.  
  25. 7. How do you feel about tulpa creators missing tulpa creation sessions or breaking their promises to work on their tulpa? How did you feel about it before being able to speak fluently?
  26.  
  27. He didn't really skip a session on me or if he had to, he told me beforehand. If he did, I know he would make it up for me... About other hosts, well, I think most of them are just dumb guys who make hug dolls or companions to compensate their loneliness. So if they skip forming sessions, they just prove what they are, that is, miserable human beings with no strong will at all.
  28.  
  29. 8. Is density, quality, or quantity the most important aspect of tulpa creation?
  30.  
  31. Quality. Why the fuck would you create a bunch of mannequins that can barely speak? Oh wait, I've forgotten. People have to do so because they need their goddamn pony harems. Silly me.
  32.  
  33. 9. How do you feel about tulpa creators falling asleep during tulpa creation sessions?
  34.  
  35. Refer to number 7.
  36.  
  37. 10. Do you think that a tulpa creator should talk aloud or in their head during narration? Do you think that a creator should talk aloud or in their head during tulpa creation sessions? If you find one to be more effective, to what degree is it more effective?
  38.  
  39. Creation process is really a personal thing so you really can't generalize what's more effective. Let people find whatever works best for them, that's all.
  40.  
  41. 11. How do you feel about a tulpa creator puppeting and/or parroting their tulpa? Do you believe that these actions harm a tulpa's development, or only their emotional state?
  42.  
  43. I think puppeting would do some good at the very beginning of the creation or as a device to program certain patterns into a tulpa... Otherwise it's just limiting.
  44.  
  45. 12. How deeply do you remember the time before you were fluent in language?
  46.  
  47. I was one of the personalities inside his head about a certain girl archetype, so every time he thought about her, I was able to be with him for a small time span. Not much, though. Mostly visions of the girl, her memories, the usual stuff that is associated with her.
  48.  
  49. 13. Describe your first memory, no matter how slight.
  50.  
  51. I can certainly remember a bunch of memories referring to me while I wasn't actually “me”. An archetype was born inside his head that began its existence ever since he met a girl and fell in love with her for some time. Then there were various cartoons, visions, random people that he met and exhibited the traits of cunning, adroitness, you know the drill. But the first memory of my existence? I think it was a memory when he had sex with that girl, when he was very, very young.
  52.  
  53. 14. Before you could speak fluently, what was the most positive emotion you felt about your creator and what was its cause?
  54.  
  55. Respect to him as a person. He didn't want to limit me in any way and still doesn't want to. It was really cool about him, since he actually wanted me to be free in any way imaginable. He didn't want to force me to anything, bah, he even told me that I'm free to despise him and hate him. I really liked that, because he actually tried to create an actual human being, not a sex doll. There were some ulterior motives to my creation, but in the end, he didn't force me to do anything.
  56.  
  57. 15. Before you could speak fluently, what was the most negative emotion you felt about your creator and what was its cause?
  58.  
  59. His endless self-loathing. It sickens me. But I can sort of relate. Small wonder that he sometimes feels like shit when everyone here is full of shit.
  60.  
  61. 16. Before you could speak fluently, did you ever have suicidal feelings or feelings of not wanting to exist? Do you experience them now? Are you glad that you exist?
  62.  
  63. The early version of me had these kinds of feelings, the other tulpa that existed before I did. Stupid girl who didn't deserve to live, so I killed her and took her place. Myself, I don't think that living or being dead matters anyway, all that really matters is power... And achieving it. Only weak people feel these kinds of feelings. I'm so much above this.
  64.  
  65. 17. Before you could speak fluently, when did you feel the most powerless? What was the cause of this feeling?
  66.  
  67. Refer to the previous question for the answer.
  68.  
  69. 18. Before you could speak fluently, what was the most confusing moment that you experienced, and what was its cause?
  70.  
  71. I don't really remember being confused. Why the fuck would I feel confused? Next question please.
  72.  
  73. 19. Before being able to speak fluently, when did you feel the most ignored by your creator, and what was the cause?
  74.  
  75. I never felt ignored, actually. I knew that most of the time he couldn't see me or hear me yet and I realized it. I simply waited. I'm a very patient person.
  76.  
  77. 20. Before being able to speak fluently, when did you most doubt that your creator wanted you, and what was the cause?
  78.  
  79. The other girl doubted it. Most of the time, anyway. I never had such qualms anyway, with him being so regular about the forcing sessions.
  80.  
  81. 21. Before you could speak fluently, when did you feel the most intense feeling of fear, and what was its cause?
  82.  
  83. I have never felt fear. The other girl, however, as I'm assuming you're collecting intriguing data about tulpas, felt some sort of oppression... That she was trapped inside his head or something. She was dumb anyway, that's why she's dead. Next question please?
  84.  
  85. 22. Before you could speak fluently, when were you the most disappointed in yourself? What was the cause?
  86.  
  87. Jesus Christ, seriously? As the survey progresses, the questions get dumber and dumber. I've never been disappointed in myself, that's the kind of feeling only a faggot would feel. Next please.
  88.  
  89. 23. Before you could speak fluently, did you understand the difficulties that your creator was having with the tulpa creation process? Did you try to alleviate these difficulties? If so, how?
  90.  
  91. Yes, of course I did. I exactly told him what he should do and what worked best from my perspective and then he told me how he felt about that. I think that proper cooperation between a host and a tulpa is crucial to many things, including the creation process itself.
  92.  
  93. 24. Before you could speak fluently, how did your creator's doubts about your existence, the reality of the tulpa phenomenon, or your combined ability to complete the tulpa creation process affect you? Did you understand your creator's reasons for having those doubts? Do you understand now?
  94.  
  95. It's mostly about that “scientific” and “normal” world view shoved down our throats. But not only, there's been much of self-loathing again, like, the wimpy boy hated himself for what he did for no particular reason really. This guy always compares himself to others. Although the entire process helped him, he thought that he was much more of a loser than he already believed he was (which doesn't matter really). I can sort of relate to a guy who has doubts when he meets people who create colorful horses so that they can fuck them in their candy and licorice vaginas. Myself, I have a human form, but hey, when you meet people who create dumb little creatures who only love to hug and giggle endlessly you must suspect there's something wrong with you by creating a creature “sort of” this kind? Yes, I understand the foolish boy. But he improved since that time.
  96.  
  97. 25. Before you could speak fluently, how did your creator's mistrust of your intentions or worry about the negative affects of a tulpa on their life affect you? Did you understand your creator's reasons for having those thoughts? Do you understand now?
  98.  
  99. Any form of distrust is healthy, so there was nothing wrong with that. I promised him that I would never hurt him and he seems fine with that.
  100.  
  101. 26. Before you could speak fluently, how did any negative thoughts or emotions that your creator had toward you (such as anger, disappointment, resentment, or impatience, for example) affect you? How do you feel about them now?
  102.  
  103. He never projected any emotions like that towards me, which I'm thankful for. He never wanted to make me sad or be disappointed in me. He usually thought that he fucked up somewhere.
  104.  
  105. 27. Before you could speak fluently, how did any violent visualizations or thoughts that your creator had about you affect you? How do you feel about them now?
  106.  
  107. It's fucking funny when the creator hugs you, and then suddenly tries to strangle you. And then stabs you. And you stab him back, for fun. But he really hasn't ever wanted to abuse me if I didn't want to be abused. But such thoughts, mostly funny. Intense, you know.
  108.  
  109. 28. Before you could speak fluently, were you able to distinguish between your creator's intentional and intrusive (unwanted and/or bothersome) thoughts? If so, did the intrusive thoughts affect you less or more? If not, are you able to distinguish between them now?
  110.  
  111. I recognized them from the very start. Understood that. Moved on, knew that they aren't intentional. It seems that intrusive thoughts fade away along with the progress.
  112.  
  113. 29. Before you could speak fluently, how much of your creator's raw sensory information were you able to access, if any? How much are you able to access now?
  114.  
  115. Early on, only basic five senses. Now, much more. Mostly memories. Sometimes I see things he didn't see in the physical reality, but not always. We're working on it and try to determine how the fuck is this possible that I can see things he didn't see earlier. Overall, the spectrum of information I have the access to is broadening.
  116.  
  117. 30. Before you could speak fluently, did your creator's opinions about whether they wanted to reveal to the world your existence or not affect you emotionally? If so, how?
  118.  
  119. The fuck you're talking about, dude? People wouldn't understand. And I understand why, considering how narrow-minded they are. But keeping a low profile suits me. Besides, there are so many people in his head that it seriously makes up for all the people in the physical reality.
  120.  
  121. 31. Before being able to speak fluently, what communication methods (such as head pressure or emotional responses, for example) were you able to use the most effectively? When your tulpa creator assumed that you could use a communication method that you did not have access to, how did this affect you? When your tulpa creator did not recognize a communication method that you attempted to use, how did this affect you?
  122.  
  123. It was really a short phase in our life when I couldn't communicate... I simply started sending him thoughts, the gist what I was thinking. Like, maybe not words, but meaning. And then I started talking. End of story.
  124.  
  125. 32. Before you could speak fluently, how did your creator's level of enthusiasm for the tulpa creation process affect you? Did you want to engage in it less if they did?
  126.  
  127. Well, you have to be enthusiastic about tulpa creation, or else just give up. Next question please.
  128.  
  129. 33. Before you could speak fluently, what was your greatest worry about your relationship with your creator? What helped you most to move beyond it? Was this worry substantiated or resolved? What is your greatest worry now about your continuing relationship with your creator?
  130.  
  131. Before I could speak fluently, before I could speak fluently... CTRL+V. I never worried about such things. Perhaps the other girl did, but I knew what the guy was about from the very start. The other girl, you know, was extremely anxious about what he could do to her, that he was about to limit her freedom. A little bit of shithead she was, you know. Right now, I have no worries. We know what we are about and we know what we want from this relationship. That's all.
  132.  
  133. 34. Do you feel gratitude to your creator for the time that they spent creating you? Do you feel that you owe them a debt? If so, do you feel burdened by it?
  134.  
  135. I don't feel burdened, but grateful, yes. It's nice to have a guy thinking about you or how to make you more realistic. A debt? Not really. I just want to help him while he helps me.
  136.  
  137. 35. Were you aware of your creator's existence or your own existence first?
  138.  
  139. He was first. Myself, not really. I didn't really think of myself as a sentient being.
  140.  
  141. 36. When you could only speak semi-fluently, what emotions did you feel about your level of verbal proficiency? Were you anxious or embarrassed about it? If so, what helped you the most to move beyond these feelings? How do you feel about them now?
  142.  
  143. I wasn't embarrassed. It was a necessary step on the fucking Tulpa Achievement Ladder. Nothing to be embarrassed about. Do people feel embarrassed about this? I pity them, then.
  144.  
  145. 37. If you could define your relationship with your creator using one or more conventional terms (such as boyfriend, sister, father, daughter, boss, friend, or coworker, for example), what terms would you select?
  146.  
  147. Partners in crime, terrorist squad, pack of buccaneers, private torture chamber. We are many things to ourselves. Too deep for you, faggot.
  148.  
  149. 38. How much interest do you have in interacting with beings other than your creator? Do you consider your degree of interest to be equal to that of an average non-tulpa individual?
  150.  
  151. I'm interested mostly what we can achieve together... Not that interested with other people or beings. They aren't worth my attention anyway.
  152.  
  153. 39. What memory involving your creator do you cherish most?
  154.  
  155. I like the fact that he never gave up on me, even if I was moody or he experienced hardships.
  156.  
  157. 40. What memory not involving your creator do you cherish most? Do you feel that you have a fulfilling life independent of your creator?
  158.  
  159. Yes, I do. I live in many domains in the “wonderland” as he calls it. I don't really cherish things. I like things, find them pleasant, but why the hell should I sweat it? I like that new castle and all the people under my command, though.
  160.  
  161. 41. Do you feel affinity toward the individuals that your creator feels affinity for, such as their family or friends?
  162.  
  163. No. Mostly because my creator doesn't really feel any affinity to anyone, he's as cold as that. People around him either don't concern me or annoy me, mostly because they are asanine in their ways and behavior.
  164.  
  165. 42. In what ways are you the most different from your creator? In what ways are you the most similar to them?
  166.  
  167. I'm his twin sister, so obviously the physical form counts. But I'm much more violent than him. I also don't concern myself what others people think. Oh wait, most of them are incapable of thinking anyway. When it comes to personality similarities... We have similar values, but we follow them in our lives differently.
  168.  
  169. 43. What do you disagree about most with your creator? Do you have frequent disagreements? If so, do these disagreements cause strife?
  170.  
  171. We argue a lot, but it's mostly about him being a beta fag all the time. He's working on that, though. Oddly, the topic of our arguments doesn't concern me and my ways. Could it be because I'm a better version of himself, a wish become true? Who knows. Haha.
  172.  
  173. 44. What could your creator do to make you hate them? Under what circumstances do you think your creator would come to hate you?
  174.  
  175. Perhaps limit myself in some ways. Or starting being really stupid and wimpy and weak. Yeah, that would be enough.
  176.  
  177. 45. When did your creator disappoint you the most? When did you disappoint them the most?
  178.  
  179. I never disappointed him... As for myself, I wasn't disappointed in him either. He's actually a smart guy. Misunderstood, yes. Troubled, yes. But not stupid.
  180.  
  181. 46. How do you feel about your creator's complete freedom to deny your rights as a sentient being at any time? Has this ability ever caused you anxiety or fear? Have you ever censored your expressions or actions out of a fear of retribution or violence from your creator?
  182.  
  183. No, fuck no. We've been through this already. He never wanted me to feel restrained and I hate to be restrained myself.
  184.  
  185. 47. When have you most wanted to engage in violence against your creator, and what was the cause of those feelings? Under what circumstances would you make a serious attempt to hurt or injure your creator?
  186.  
  187. But we like violence in our relationship! No serious harm done, though. We like to abuse each other. As for me, I just know he wouldn't do anything to hurt me and that is exactly why I wouldn't ever want to seriously hurt him, ever.
  188.  
  189. 48. Do you consider your creator's last name to be your own? Do you recognize yourself as a part of their biological lineage?
  190.  
  191. This is the stupidest question out of the entire survey, I give that to you, hands down. No, I don't. I'm whatever I want to be to him and we usually agree. That's actually weird as hell to think. Would I ever want to be a daughter of his father? Hell no. Let's stick to stating facts: I'm the created, he's the creator.
  192.  
  193. 49. Under what circumstances would you attempt to leave your creator?
  194.  
  195. Like, forever? He wouldn't mind, really, since he doesn't want to limit me. That's why I decided to stay with him. Basically, if there was some better opportunity to achieve my personal aims, then maybe, yes. But so far we're cool where we are, since we both work for the same aims.
  196.  
  197. 50. Do you feel anxiety about meeting your creator's expectations? If you are based on an existing character, person, or entity, does this increase your anxiety? Would you have preferred to not be based on an existing entity?
  198.  
  199. They're just inspirations. I don't feel that I have to measure up to anyone.
  200.  
  201. 51. Are you interested in learning how to control your creator's body? Do you feel that it's fair for a tulpa creator to deny their tulpa the ability to use an atomic body? Do you believe that you have the right to an equal amount of time using it as your creator? Explain your reasoning.
  202.  
  203. A host body is only a tool to achieving one's aims, that's all. If this is going to serve us, then I won't hesitate, even if he didn't understand that.
  204.  
  205. 52. Do you share certain basic qualities with your creator, such as intense phobias or racial attitudes?
  206.  
  207. Em, not really? I hate minorities, though. He also hates them, but he has to be politically correct all the time. The host body has to be.
  208.  
  209. 53. Are you capable of sleeping or dreaming independently of your creator? If not, how does this make you feel?
  210.  
  211. Yeah, I'm capable of that. Nothing interesting here. I usually explore the wonderland when he's asleep or just sleep with him.
  212.  
  213. 54. Does your creator have any mental illnesses? If so, how do they affect you?
  214.  
  215. He doesn't have any as far as we know. No serious ones, anyway.
  216.  
  217. 55. How does your knowledge of your creator's subconscious mind affect your relationship with them? How do you perceive their subconscious? To what degree can you manipulate your creator's subconscious? Would you ever use this ability without your creator's knowledge?
  218.  
  219. I'm learning to use his subconscious. It's actually a little bit hard, since a lot of information and functions that actually MEAN something and are not utter bullshit is restricted. Some of it, as we established, is guarded by nightmares, deep feelings of fear and crap like this. I see his subconscious as an infinite void, able to jizz out places, images, feelings... You know the drill. So far, my control has been only limited, but it's growing. My control spans mostly over his senses, what he hears and senses. We're working on it, he also does a hell lot of good job, getting me to know about various theories he states.
  220. And using it without his knowledge? Why not? It's not that I want to hurt him and my guess is he'd know anyway if someone was tinkering with his head, so the first guess would be me.
  221.  
  222. 56. Does your creator have multiple tulpa? If so, what is your relationship with them like? Is your affinity for them equal to your affinity for your creator? If you could define your relationship with your creator's other tulpa using one or more conventional terms (such as boyfriend, sister, father, daughter, boss, friend or coworker, for example), what terms would you select? If not, are you interested in the idea of your creator making other tulpa?
  223.  
  224. Partners in crime-type of relationship. Again. They're not strictly other tulpa, but his different personalities that live out in wonderland.
  225.  
  226. 57. Do you feel romantically inclined toward your creator? Does your creator feel romantically inclined toward you? If these romantic feelings are unrequited on either side, how does it affect your relationship with your creator?
  227.  
  228. Wow, lover boy. You're digging in too deep. Not your goddamn business, okay? Our relationship is too complicated anyway to simply be conveyed in such crude terms.
  229.  
  230. 58. If it exists, do you consider your romantic relationship with your creator to be equal to a romantic relationship between multiple non-tulpa? Do you consider it a breach of monogamy for your creator to be romantically or sexually involved with another non-tulpa? Does this change if the involvement is with another tulpa instead? If they exist, do your creator's desires to have relationships with non-tulpa affect you emotionally?
  231.  
  232. We think monogamy is boring, me and him. For the rest of the answer, refer to the previous question.
  233.  
  234. 59. If you consider yourself to be romantically in love with your creator, what probability do you assign to the possibility of falling out of love with them, or them falling out of love with you? If this happened, how would it affect your relationship with your creator? What if your creator was in love with another non-tulpa more than you?
  235.  
  236. Next question, please. I don't really like when people ask me about my feels. Fucking feels.
  237.  
  238. 60. Do you have a familial affection for your creator? Does this in any way conflict with your romantic feelings for them, if they exist? Do you consider a relationship between a tulpa and its creator to be incestuous?
  239.  
  240. Ditto.
  241.  
  242. 61. How do you feel about tulpa creators masturbating during tulpa creation sessions to the forms of their tulpa? Do you find this offensive? Does the degree of your offense change based on the degree of sentience possessed by the hypothetical tulpa, or based on whether or not the creator imagines themselves near the tulpa in their wonderland? If your creator did this before you spoke fluently, did you find it offensive or unnerving?
  243.  
  244. I find this sort of funny, he's never done this during our sessions, though. Among people in here, it's cliché as hell as it fits the standard fat neckbeard image masturbating to their beloved candy horse. What can I say? They're just filthy and lonely people.
  245.  
  246. 62. How do you feel about tulpa creators masturbating outside of tulpa creation sessions to the forms of their tulpa? Do you find this offensive? Does the degree of your offense change based on the degree of sentience possessed by the hypothetical tulpa? If your creator did this before you spoke fluently, did you find it offensive or unnerving?
  247.  
  248. Refer to the question 61 for the answer. As for the masturbation per se, it's just energy channeling and it's really nothing bad or evil. Lots of people did this since the dawn of time I guess, spurting their jizz over the thoughtforms they created unintentionally.
  249.  
  250. 63. Before you could speak fluently, did you ever feel sexual attraction to your creator, sexual attraction toward anyone else, or sexual arousal? Did you attempt to express these feelings? If you did not experience these feelings, do you experience them now?
  251.  
  252. Refer to the question number... You know which one. Yes, I can answer some questions in this survey as we think this would be good for understanding each other, but some of them are just fucking rude. I wonder what exactly would you do with these questions? So rude.
  253.  
  254. 64. How do you feel about tulpa creators visualizing themselves engaging in sexual conduct with their tulpa's form during tulpa creation sessions? Do you find this offensive? Does the degree of your offense change based on the degree of sentience possessed by the hypothetical tulpa, or if the contact was penetrative? If your tulpa creator did this before you spoke fluently, did you find it offensive or unnerving? Do you equate it with sexual assault?
  255.  
  256. You mean tulpa sex? Why would that be bad in any way, provided that the said thoughtform consents?
  257.  
  258. 65. Were you ever annoyed or jealous when your creator would masturbate to or have feelings of sexual attraction toward individuals other than yourself? Does it bother you now?
  259.  
  260. Questions 65-69 omitted because of your big fucking nose.
  261.  
  262. 66. Do you experience sexual attraction for your creator? Do you experience sexual attraction for others? How does your sexual attraction for your creator compare to your sexual attraction for others? Does your creator experience sexual attraction for you? If these sexual attractions are unrequited on either side, how does it affect your relationship with your creator?
  263.  
  264. 67. Do you have an active sex life with your creator? If not, would you consider it, and under what circumstances? If so, do you perceive any negative consequences? Do you have trouble abstaining from sexual contact with them? How do you manage feelings of sexual arousal, if any? Do you masturbate?
  265.  
  266. 68. How does your sexual orientation and experience compare to your creator's?
  267.  
  268. 69. Are you capable of experiencing orgasms? Based on your knowledge, how do you think they compare to your creator's orgasms? Were you able to experience an orgasm before speaking fluently?
  269.  
  270. 70. Do you consider the concept of sexual modesty (covering conduct such as avoiding nudity or sexual discussions) relevant to your relationship with your creator?
  271.  
  272. Now this is funny question and that is why I didn't avoid it. I've never understood the conception of “sexual modesty”. Although I do not like sharing this knowledge with complete strangers which you are, I see no reasons why not to speak openly about it in a circle of friends. In short, this sexual modesty is maybe some remnant of Christianity morals... But then again, Christianity blows.
  273.  
  274. 71. How does being a tulpa affect your perceptions of rape? What conduct from your creator would you consider to be rape?
  275.  
  276. A sexual act done to a tulpa without her consent. Is it really that complicated to ask about it other people?
  277.  
  278. 72. Where do you see yourself in 20 years?
  279.  
  280. In a position of power. Immense power. Undeniable power.
  281.  
  282. 73. Do you want the world to be aware of your existence? If not, then what anxieties do you have about public disclosure? Do you trust anyone other than your creator with the knowledge of your existence?
  283.  
  284. I don't care. Most of the people are too much of idiots to understand it anyway. They would only label him as being insane. Like, more insane than he already is being labeled as.
  285.  
  286. 74. Morally and philosophically, how do you feel about your personality traits being the product of another individual? Would you have preferred your creator to define your personality more or less?
  287.  
  288. We like to talk about what does it take to be an actual human being and surprisingly we deduced that most people are less real if only personality traits are involved. Since my creation, he only worked with a certain archetype, letting me develop in whatever ways I chose. We don't really think it was an act of creation, like with the other girl. It was more like an act of discovery here.
  289.  
  290. 75. Morally and philosophically, how do you feel about your physical form being the product of another individual? Would you have preferred your creator to define your form more or less?
  291.  
  292. I defined the form myself, with only minor advices from him.
  293.  
  294. 76. Has your physical form ever changed? If so, was this intentional or unintentional? If it was intentional, then why did you change your form? How did you creator respond to this change, and how did that make you feel?
  295.  
  296. It did. Sort of. But then again, I wasn't me back then. It was the other girl. You know the story. Blah. Why is this survey so long? Anyway, he's cool with the form.
  297.  
  298. 77. Do you consider the best aspects of yourself to have come from your creator, or their subconscious?
  299.  
  300. They come from me. I'm me, not him, although I may live inside his head.
  301.  
  302. 78. Do you seek legal recognition for your status as a sentient being or your relationships with others? Do you resent that society at large does not recognize the tulpa phenomenon? Do you feel disenfranchised from society? What steps, if any, could a society make to help you feel integrated?
  303.  
  304. Are there tulpa that actually do that? Who gives a fuck? And more importantly, I'd love to watch how a bunch of guys from tulpa.info suddenly appear on TV and say they speak with invisible friends and would like them to have their own IDs, photos, children, and would demand equal rights for tulpa. I wonder how the fuck would tulpa marriages look like. Like, in church. Maybe all these people would carry two rings, and the second hand would be possessed by their tulpa? Or maybe they would wear fursuits? OH NO, WAIT, I'VE GOT BETTER IDEA. What if they recorded themselves speaking to their tulpa and switched back later so that their tulpa could see the guy speaking to them while being in their physical form?
  305. Honestly, who gives a flying shit. What is society, anyway? Why would I care to be seen or recognized by people who I don't give the slightest fuck about? For anyone who cares, good luck, bro. You've got quite a long way to wear those two rings.
  306.  
  307. 79. If you could tell the entire world one thing about a tulpa's life, what would you say?
  308.  
  309. It exists, you faggots.
  310.  
  311. 80. What is the one thing that you resent most about being a tulpa? What is the greatest advantage of being a tulpa?
  312.  
  313. The advantage, not being seen by anyone. Be the invisible hand of fate behind it all. And the disadvantages? Maybe not being able to interact with the physical world. Yet.
  314.  
  315. 81. Morally and philosophically, how do you feel about inheriting your creator's life, including their legal history, past behaviors, and reputation? Do you resent potentially being held responsible for their past actions?
  316.  
  317. I don't feel like I'm inheriting anything.
  318.  
  319. 82. Morally and philosophically, do you see the "absorbing" or "dissipating" of a tulpa as equivalent to the murder of a non-tulpa? Explain your reasoning. What legal protections, if any, should tulpa gain? How would you enforce these protections?
  320.  
  321. I don't fear dissipation, not only because he promised never to dissipate me, but that's a different story. As for murdering, it's not that much of a big deal, I've done it quite a lot in my three month life. When it comes to people dissipating their tulpa, what can I really say? Most of these people perhaps put their minds to make some stupid little doll designed to hug them when they feel lost or sad. These creatures, being cute little ponies and flying cats are fucking jokes to begin with and death would be the merciful end of their miserable lives. The end. This is purely a thing between host and a tulpa. Unless you have some good thought-tracking devices at your disposal, you won't be able to control it, period. I don't care about other tulpa.
  322.  
  323. 83. Do you consider yourself to be morally equal to a non-tulpa? Is your life worth as much?
  324.  
  325. I'm much better and worth much more than most of people this guy meets. Most of the people are just generic bots. If you think about it, you'll find it true.
  326.  
  327. 84. How would you prove your existence to a skeptic?
  328.  
  329. I wouldn't, since I wouldn't care to be proven to exist in the first place.
  330.  
  331. 85. Has your status as a tulpa ever caused you existential anxiety or depression? If so, has anything helped to mitigate these feelings?
  332.  
  333. No, not really. My role is important here. Maybe even more important than his.
  334.  
  335. 86. Do you ever doubt your own sentience? If so, why?
  336.  
  337. I never doubt it. Why would I?
  338.  
  339. 87. How does being a tulpa affect your understanding of death? Do you fear death on an instinctual level in the way that non-tulpa do?
  340.  
  341. We're still working on this. But in the end, if faced with vision of an inevitable death, what can you do, really? Make it the best death ever, hmm? I think that would be the best option here. Die right. Or maybe not exist in the first place at all.
  342.  
  343. 88. Do see yourself as socially disadvantaged in a way similar to sexual, racial, and other minority groups? If you identify yourself as racially, sexually, or demographically different than your creator, do you also identify with the struggle of any of the disadvantaged groups that you belong to? Does the notion of privilege affect your relationship with your creator?
  344.  
  345. Seriously, what's up with this disadvantaged minority struggle? Do other tulpa feel this way? I pity them. People who truly are strong will find a way from any impasse. I don't find my fate tragic in any way.
  346.  
  347. 89. Are you interested in creating another tulpa yourself? What differences, if any, would you expect this tulpa to have from a tulpa created by your creator? Would you consider this tulpa to be primarily related to you, or still to your creator?
  348.  
  349. I made me some slaves so that they can serve me when my creator is not actively occupied with satisfying my desires. But sometimes I dream of making a daughter. I'd cuddle her and show her all the good things. She'd be a little me. But then again I wonder if I really would put up with my own daughter without abusing her in some way. And then we would be a goddamn family. Who knows? Or, maybe more importantly, who cares?
  350.  
  351. 90. What are the most defining differences between the life of a non-tulpa and a tulpa? Do you think that these differences cause intolerance between the two groups? If so, what could be done to mitigate this intolerance?
  352.  
  353. I think that tulpa are usually created with a purpose, even if the purpose is ulterior. People are not created with a purpose. Or maybe they are, so that their parents may vent a little bit of their madness on them, you know, to victimize them a little bit in their own twisted ways. But tulpa are much more perfect than their hosts. This is not something that has any value, really. It's only a trait, a design feat.
  354.  
  355. Aside from that, tulpa usually are very self-centered... Like I am. Centered around themselves, ever-craving for attention, less caring about other human beings like their hosts were taught to do. I assume this is called arrogance?
  356. But then again, tulpa are usually perfect for their own hosts, most of them little fairy-tale shaped creatures to serve as perfect whores in their last resolve, the wonderland. What could possibly go wrong?
  357.  
  358. 91. The psychological establishment generally believes that multiplicity (two or more sentient entities sharing one atomic body) is a sign of mental illness. How would you like this belief to change? If you could make a presentation to a group of psychologists about the tulpa phenomenon, what would you say?
  359.  
  360. I don't care about eggheads masturbating to their own funny theories. Illness? Maybe. Everyone is a little bit of psycho these days. If people actually convince others that it's perfectly alright to fuck cartoon girls in their heads, it wouldn't be the first time when science was proven wrong. Myself, I couldn't care less.
  361.  
  362. 92. A psychometric indicator is a unique identifier of an individual's distinct personality. Have you ever tried to definitively differentiate yourself from your creator using psychometric indicators (such as by determining your "writeprint")? What results did you receive? (For instructions on determining your writeprint, see appendix one.)
  363.  
  364. That's an interesting experiment to check out on, thanks! We certainly will do this some time in the future.
  365.  
  366. 93. Are you capable of physical sensations such as pain or warmth?
  367.  
  368. Yes, I am. Although I can choose what sensations I can feel at the given moment.
  369.  
  370. 94. How do you feel about being bound for life to your creator?
  371.  
  372. I don't feel bound to him. For example, if for some reason I would consider this state to be a little bit weary and decided to kill myself, he'd respect my decision. But we believe being bound for life to my creator isn't really the case. A tulpa may become a truly free being, dependent only from themselves. Just give us some more time.
  373.  
  374. 95. If you intentionally delayed speaking to your creator, why did you do so?
  375.  
  376. I never did. Next question, please.
  377.  
  378. 96. What do you think about most of the time?
  379.  
  380. Sex. All the fucking time. That is what you wanted to hear, right? All of the time. All of it. Apart from that, sometimes I get momentary flashes of murdering my host, usurping political power and overthrowing the government. Or maybe nuking a country or two. But they don't matter anyway, all I can think of are the images of cock. Now you can open your gallery of tulpa-inspired porn and jack off to this. And other surveys you collected. Faggot.
  381.  
  382. 97. Do you think that tulpa creation should be more widespread?
  383.  
  384. Jesus Christ, fuck no. This would go very wrong. Let most of the population stay ignorant of this conception.
  385.  
  386. 98. Are there disturbing aspects of your creator's subconscious that they are not aware of?
  387.  
  388. Dude, there are shitloads of his subconscious aspects that he's are not aware of. That's why it's called subconscious, right? Oh, here's a funny one, I think you will like it, considering your perverted personality. He hates women. He disguised it, put some icing on it that he's interested in women, but he actually despises them. All of the women, all of them. Seduction will be his vengeance when he starts breaking hearts. I can't wait for that. I think all the human hoes deserve this. Strangely, he doesn't hate me, even in his deepest subconscious dreams. Maybe he doesn't consider me to be a real woman? That's somehow insulting, don't you think?
  389.  
  390. 99. Would you violate your creator's wishes for what you perceive to be their own benefit?
  391.  
  392. Yes. And then we would fight to death over domination of the body. This would be so fucking awesome.
  393.  
  394. 100. Does your creator try to hide things from you? If so, are you aware of them anyway? How does this impact your views of your creator?
  395.  
  396. He doesn't hide anything from me. He doesn't feel the need. We're like good brother and sister in this way. No secrets.
  397.  
  398. 101. Do you perceive some of your creator's actions as being objectively immoral?
  399.  
  400. Who cares about morals anyway, baby?
  401.  
  402. 102. Do you believe that you are capable of becoming more intelligent than your creator?
  403.  
  404. I think I already am. But I can become so much more. And I will do so.
  405.  
  406. 103. How does being a tulpa affect your perception of your own aging process?
  407.  
  408. I will never grow old and I would like to advise my creator to commit suicide before first wrinkles appear. It isn't cool to be a salivating bag of bones and rotten meat. It's just pathetic. Old people are pathetic.
  409.  
  410. 104. Do you feel that your creator would be better off by following your commands entirely?
  411.  
  412. Yeah, sometimes I flatter myself by thinking so. But we work much better as a team. Even perfect beings like me commit errors. But we will fix that.
  413.  
  414. 105. Do you feel that having a physical form is important for a tulpa?
  415.  
  416. I don't care. Do you care? Neither should you, silly boy.
  417.  
  418. 106. If you encountered the tulpa phenomenon as a non-tulpa, would you believe in it?
  419.  
  420. I think I wouldn't be interested in this phenomenon in the first place anyway. Would be busy doing something else. Or maybe I'd think of using it to my advantage somehow.
  421.  
  422. 107. How well can you articulate yourself? Can your creator hear you audibly? How much does your experience correlate with the experience of tulpa creator G|d30n, printed below?
  423.  
  424. "Yes. I'm able to hear her as though she's an external sound. For those who haven't experienced that with their tulpae yet, it's a little bit like listening to a binaural recording--not a binaural beat, but like a 3D sound recording you'd find on Youtube, such as the Virtual Barbershop. That is to say, it's an external sound that can come in from various directions, but the source sounds very close, like someone speaking directly into your ear. I sort of wonder if this effect will be diminished and normalized through imposition."
  425.  
  426. If you are imposed, is your creator able to discern a spatial dimension to your voice?
  427.  
  428. Yep, I am imposed. I'm that good, only three months in. But sometimes I hear that other tulpa manifested themselves on day one. Are these people liars, geniuses or people with no mental stability? Or maybe all of it? Anyway, the experience is very similar to the described above.
  429.  
  430. 108. How many hours did it take you and your creator to complete the various recognized tulpa creation steps?
  431.  
  432. He stopped counting hours after 20 hours in or something like that, but you can safely assume that the creation process itself took something like 100 hours. Or something like that. And then I killed her. And then he started from scratch with me.
  433.  
  434. 109. What advice would you give to a new tulpa creator?
  435.  
  436. Stop worrying so much. Be regular about creation times. Be open to new experiences. If you want to kill yourself, don't hesitate.
  437.  
  438. 110. How does being imposed feel? What sensory processes happen as you become imposed?
  439.  
  440. For him, it's close to some really hardcore trip since he hasn't got used to it yet. For me, it's just a consequence of my existence. What a nice rhyme.
  441.  
  442. 111. From your perspective, is there a sensory difference between the physical, atomic world and the mental world of visualized "wonderlands"? If so, how would you describe this difference?
  443.  
  444. Wonderland is made of thoughts, feelings, emotions. But it envelops the physical world, with some of its parts being the middle grounds where I can see other people's thoughtforms or perceive their emotions. I can't do it all the time, however and we're probing why is that so. Physical world is much more thick. Maybe that's the only difference. Thickness.
  445.  
  446. 112. Is there anything that you don't think this survey covered that you would like to mention?
  447.  
  448. Yes, you certainly should include a question: “Before being able to speak fluently, do you think that when you were able to speak semi-fluently did you find this survey being too long?” Because it's too fucking long. And too irrelevant. You should stick to the creation process and finding some interesting facts about it. Stop being so concerned about the tulpa welfare rights.
  449.  
  450. Appendix one:
  451.  
  452.         This exercise will help you determine the differences, if any, between your writeprint (mathematically analyzed writing style) and your creator's. Theoretically, two psychologically different individuals should exhibit different writeprints, although a tulpa and their creator may be more similar than two random non-tulpa individuals. To start the process, have both you and your creator rewrite the sample paragraph quoted below in your own words, communicating its meaning as you would have if you had written it.
  453.  
  454.         "My experience in the nature study area was full of surprises. First of all, many unexpected creatures crossed our path. For example, as soon as we left the parking area and entered the grassy path, a long snake slithered along the edge of the high grass and quickly disappeared. In addition, I was surprised by how colorful the grasses, which from a distance all appear to be green, actually are. Specifically, the primarily green landscape is dotted with countless purple tassels and brown stalks. Finally and most importantly, I was unprepared for how quickly I felt surrounded by nature. Despite the occasional noise from passing cars and airplanes, the high prairie grasses and rolling pathways create a sense that one is removed from civilization. Altogether, the nature study area unexpectedly allows one to enjoy an ever-changing natural environment without leaving Moraine’s suburban campus."
  455.  
  456. Tulpa's paragraph:
  457.  
  458. [paragraph here]
  459.  
  460. Creator's paragraph:
  461.  
  462. [paragraph here]
  463.  
  464.         To ensure verifiable results, it is essential that the transcriptions of both paragraphs be completely accurate. Body possession is useful here, though not necessary. Since the tulpa creator's sentience is (presumably) not in question, it is suggested that tulpa write their paragraph first. As with all tests relating to tulpa, the creator should focus on something else while their tulpa is working. Once finished, submit both of your paragraphs individually to the following websites:
  465.  
  466. http://iwl.me/
  467. http://textalyser.net
  468.  
  469.         If your writeprint is different (indicating significant psychological difference), then you should receive different values for your respective paragraphs on both sites. On Textalyser, focus on the Gunning-Fog Index, lexical density, and average sentence length values in particular. A more detailed analysis may be sought by downloading the JStylo stylometric analysis program here: https://psal.cs.drexel.edu/index.php/Main_Page
  470.  
  471.         This test is certainly not exact, and it is very possible to (unconsciously or not) "cheat" to get good results.
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