Why don't you want my headpats?

Hey. Hey. Hee~yyy. Come here. I wanna pet you.

I know you're working but you can take a break, can't you?

Well, I wanna pet you, so you should stop and come here.

[sing song] Come ~onnnn~. I've got your favorite blanket!

Are you seriously not budging?

I'm not begging!

Fine I *am* begging, but is it really that bad?

Oh, when you do it it's super sweet and endearing but when I want it it's demeaning? What kind of logic is that?

Oh, you absolutely do. Every time you want pets you go all pouty and give me those big kitten eyes and say 'pwease pet me'.

You did that yesterday!

Come on, stop fighting it and just come here so I can love you.

*sigh* If you're not going to relent at least tell me what you're working on since it's *sooooo* much more important than getting scritchies.

Oh? So how does that work?

[gets up behind listener]

Is it similar to what you were doing last week?

Oh, it's like a continuation of what you were doing; that's really cool!

*scritching SFX*
*scritching stops suddenly*

What? I'm not doing anything.

Come on, you've been working on this project all day, surely you should get tired at some point!

I know it's a passion project, but even passion has its limits doesn't it?

Okay, maybe not for you, but maybe you'll stop for me?

Come on, do it as a favor for me?

Pretty please?

What do you mean "why do I want it so badly"? It's 'cause you're fluffy! Your hair and fur are always so soft and I want to pet you. Isn't that enough?

How about this, I'll let you pet me!

You don't want to? Aw, but it's a fair exchange!

I do *not* benefit in both scenarios, I told you it's a fair exchange!

Fine, is there some way that I can get you to relent?

Come on, surely there's *some*thing that you want. I'll cook your favorite dinner~

Okay, I was planning on cooking that tonight anyway, but I'll make extra so you'll have some to take to work tomorrow!

Come on, kitten; just let me have this just this once.

Fine, it's not been once but a lot of times, but maybe just one more?

*scritching SFX*

See? You're pushing your head into my hands. You can't hide how much you love your scritchies, can you?

*scritching stops*

Aw, don't push my hands away. You showed me that you really wanted it. Don't know *why* you're being so grumpy today, but I see it as a challenge. Can I get kitty to let me love them?

Oh? You're shutting your computer down? Awesome! Now we can-- wait, where are you going?

To nap? But--but--you can nap here! I've got pillows and everything!

What do you mean "you want to nap alone". You *never* want to nap alone! How am I supposed to pet you if you won't snuggle up with me?

*scoffs* [quietly, to self] "Deal with it" oh I will. I'll just scowl and watch tv by myself. Hmmph.

****

*sigh* They've been gone a while, I wonder if they're avoiding me. Let's go see.

[calling out] Oh kitt~en! *pspsps* Oh kitt~en! Where are you? I know you're not hiding from me. Are you... in your room?

Hmm, doesn't seem like they're here. Unless... They're in the... [opens the closet door expecting the listener to be there] *closet*!

Hmm, not there either. I wonder if they're in my room then.

Kitt~en! Where oh where are you kitt~en!

There you are! I've been looking all over for you!

Then why didn't you come to me? You know I still want to pet you, right?

Yea, and you still don't want to. I don't know *why*, usually you're the one that wants the attention.

How about this: I'll wrestle you for it.

I'm serious!

Come on, I'm not *that* much stronger than you.

Okay, I have been working out more recently, but that doesn't mean you aren't stronger than me! Besides, if there's anything you like more than scritches it's wrestling.

Okay, on 3. 1. 2.

*grunts*

I didn't cheat! You should've known that I was going to start on 2.

*grunt*

*sigh* *heavy breathing* There. Got you. Pinned. Now I can-- wait... Are you... are you purring?

Do--do you like being pinned?

No answer? I think the answer to that is 'yes'!

Aw, don't deny it! It's cute! My lovey-dovey kitty friend likes it when I get on top of them~ Isn't that just the sweetest thing you've ever seen?

It's not embarrassing! It stays between us, okay? And now I have another way to play with you!

What's that? "Can I get my scritchies now"? Oh, but I thought you didn't want any scritchies! You've been telling me for the past hour that you didn't want any!

Oh, that suddenly changed! How convenient. Well, you know what? I don't want to anymore. Oh well.

Aww! Look at your face! You looked so crushed! I was just playing! Of course, I'll give you some pets, kitten.

*scritching SFX*