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  1. Pony Springs
  3. Rainbow Dash kicked the last of the clouds away with a grunt. She had been clearing the sky for the better half of a day after the scheduled storm ended. It was
  5. much more violent than anticipated, and though damages on the ground were minimal, a couple pillars in cloudsdale toppled over, sending the weather pegasi
  7. into a frenzy. Some of them were back home helping with replacing the cloud structure, but Rainbow Dash's job was to keep Ponyville safe, and she stuck to it,
  9. despite all the extra work.
  11.     "Phew," she sighed. "Sure took long enough." Her rainbow mane was matted against her forehead and the back of her neck, and her wings and legs
  13. ached from the exhersion. The air was hot and sticky after the storm as all the puddles evaporated in the sunlight, not making things any easier for hard-working
  15. ponies. After quickly checking over the sky one last time, Rainbow nodded in satisfaction. Another job well done. She turned around, and headed back toward
  17. Cloudsdale.
  19. ---------------
  21.     Landing on the puffy cloud floor, Rainbow Dash folds her wings against her body, giving them a well-deserved rest. She saunters along through the
  23. town, and stops by a wheeled snack vendor outside the local grocery store. The cart was manned by a gray stallion with a white mane, and a pair of dice with
  25. three playing cards as his Cutie Mark. A sign suspended overhead read "Shady Deals" with a small "Ponysprings" sticker plastered on the corner.
  27.     "Hey there, filly," the stallion directed at Rainbow Dash. "You look thirsty. Stop by for a drink?"
  29.     "Hey yeah," said Rainbow Dash. She reared up on her hind legs, and placed her front hooves on top of the stand, examining the vendor's wares. "It's a
  31. bit sticky for juice. I'll just go with water." Shady opened a hatch on the top of the cart, and pulled a bottle of "Ponysprings" water out of the ice box, placing it in
  33. front of Rainbow Dash. The cyan pegasus procures a mouthful of bits, and lets them fall in front of the merchant, who scoops them up with a "Thanks." Rainbow
  35. Dash happily grabs the bottle in her mouth, and trots away. After a few steps, she stopped to open the bottle. She placed it on the ground, and paused.
  37.     "Now," she started. "How do I..." She carefully pressed her front hooves against either side of the bottle, and bit the cap, twisting to try free the
  39. refreshing prize within. The cold, wet plastic slipped easily from her grasp and rolled away. The mare gave a displeased snort, and tried once more, to the same
  41. fruitless end. She looked over her shoulder to make sure no one was looking before pouncing on the plastic tube, grasping it with all four legs, and gnawing at
  43. the cap. Rainbow Dash rolled over frontwards in her struggle, landing on her back as she fought with the stubborn plastic.
  45.     After a short while, Rainbow looks up to see a big pair of mismatched yellow eyes hovered uncomfortably close overhead. She flinched, and sat up
  47. straight, embarassed to be caught acting so uncool in public. She shook her head to straighten her mane, and looked back at the other pony: Derpy Hooves. The
  49. light gray mare smiled at Rainbow Dash with her crossed eyed stare, and pointed at the water bottle on the ground.
  51.     "You think you can give it a try?" Rainbow asked reluctantly. It hurt her pride to ask another pony for help - especially Derpy, who was NOT known for
  53. her hoof-eye-coordination. The yellow-maned pegasuss nodded eagerly, and scooped up the bottle in her muzzle. Rainbow Dash watched expectantly, hoping to
  55. find out the secret.
  57.     Derpy squeezed her jaw shut, squeezing the bottle to the point of bursting, splashing the cold contents in a wide radius, soaking both pegasi, as well
  59. anything within a 2 meter radius. Rainbow Dash stared, unamused at Derpy as she let the bottle drop into the newly formed puddle below.
  61.     "Thanks Derpy," said Rainbow Dash, her voice dripping with sarcasm as her face dripped with water. The mail mare saluted and flew off with a
  63. triumphant look on her face. Rainbow Dash sighed, and shook off most of the water, before begrudgingly returning to Shady Deals. She placed a couple more
  65. bits on the metallic surface. "Another water."
  67.     "Hot today, ain't it?" Shady commented as he gathered the currency and produced another bottle of water. Rainbow grabbed the bottle without making
  69. eye contact, and grunted a response. "Uh huh." She flew off without another word.
  71. ----------------
  73.     Flying high over Ponyville, Rainbow Dash wondered if there was anyone else who might give her an idea of how to open the infernal contraption she
  75. clasped in her teeth. Twilight could open it no problem with her magic, but she'd probably think she was stupid! She still had her pride, and because of that there
  77. was NO WAY she'd be bringing it to Rarity. She landed outside Fluttershy's cottage, and placed the bottle just out of sight by the wooden door frame. She'd try to
  79. get her to open a bottle, to see how she did it. Besides, Fluttershy was the least likely to think less of her. Rainbow Dash nodded, assuring herself. "And my pride
  81. stays in tact." She rapped her hoof against the door, waiting for her friend from her youth to answer.
  83.     "Oh, hello Rainbow Dash," Fluttershy said cheerily as she opened the door. "It's a beautiful day, isn't it? You did so well." The soft-voiced pegasus
  85. stepped aside, welcoming Rainbow Dash into her quaint home. Rainbow walked in to the modest living space, and smiled at the compliment.
  87.     "Yeah, I am pretty awesome," she said proudly. "Too bad it's so hot." Rainbow's plan began to unfurl.
  89.     "Oh, did you want something to drink?" Fluttershy asked, concern touching her soft blue eyes. As expected, Fluttershy immediately trotted toward the
  91. kitchen area. Rainbow Dash smirked.
  93.     "Sure," she said. "Got a water bottle?" the rainbow-maned mare lowered her head attentatively, waiting for Fluttershy to get some bottles. She'd
  95. probably even open it for her, given her kind hospitality as a host. Things were going exactly as planned.
  97.     "Oh, I'm sorry Rainbow Dash. I don't keep any water bottles around the house," the pink maned pegasus explained. "I wouldn't want any small creatures
  99. chewing on the caps, and they're not good for the environment. Besides, mother nature provides all my water with the stream behind my house." Rainbow Dash
  101. was already making her way to the door, rolling her eyes. Another pony unable to help her.
  103.     "Well thanks anyway, Fluttershy." Rainbow Dash called over her shoulder as she opened the front door. "Gotta go... uh... see if Cloudsdale is alright after
  105. that storm yesterday."
  107.     "Oh, but aren't you thirst-" Fluttershy's words were cut short as Angel Bunny hopped throught the front door, a piece of blue plastic in his mouth; a
  109. plastic water bottle cap. "Angel! Where did you get that?" Rainbow checked where she had left her bottle only to find it opened, and tipped over, its contents
  111. pored out into Fluttershy's bushes. She darted off into the air before Fluttershy could suspect her of anything.
  113. -----------------------------
  115.     "How did that dumb rabbit get that thing open...?" Rainbow Dash wondered aloud. She walked down the streets of Ponyville dejectedly.
  117.     "Well hello again, filly!" A vaguely familiar voice called, making the pegasus jump. She looked up to see Shady Deals' stand, set up int he middle of
  119. Ponyville. The dark gray stallion grinned at Rainbow Dash, clearly recognizing her from earlier today.
  121.     "What are your doing down here?" Rainbow Dash asked. "You were in Cloudsdale just a few minutes ago!"
  123.     "Business was slow, and it's even hotter down here on the ground. Earth ponies need their refreshments!" Shady explained. "Speakin' of, you look thirsty
  125. again. Need another drink?" He asked hopefully.
  127.     "Yeah. gimme another." Rainbow Dash said with renewed vigor. She placed some more bits in front of the vendor, and took her new bottle. If he was
  129. gonna sell these to earth ponies, she could watch them, and finally find out how to open the things. She ignored as Shady called a "Thanks" out to her and walked
  131. until she was out of sight. She juped into the air, and looped around to land on a nearby roof, giving her a good vantage point. She didn't have to wait too long
  133. before Pinkie Pie bounced along, stopping at the Shady Deals refreshment cart. She couldn't help but chuckle at the stallion's look of exhasperation as Pinkie...
  135. was Pinkie. Their conversation was out of Rainbow Dash's earshot, but she could tell from the pink pony's jittery movements that she was probably chatting at a
  137. ridiculously fast pace, likely leaving Shady completely lost.
  139.     Finally, Shady reached into his icebox, and retrieved a Pony Springs plastic water bottle. Rainbow Dash grinned triumphantly as Pinkie Pie grabbed the
  141. bottle in her mouth, and bounced off. Rainbow crept along the rooftops, watching her friend from a distance. Suddenly, the party pony stopped in a grassy field,
  143. placing the bottle on the ground, and laying down. She began rolling around in the grass, getting loose blades and clumps of dirt tangled in her already tangled
  145. mane. Not that that was of any concern to her. Rainbow Dash leapt off the building, and stealthily zipped between the plentiful bushes, drawing closer and closer.
  147. Once she was as close as she dared get, she awaited silently, trying to slow her excited breath so as to not alert to rolling pony to her presence.
  149.     Pinkie quickly lost interest in her current actions, and stood up straight as if nothing about her actions were out of the ordinary. She trotted over to her
  151. water bottle, and sat down. It took all her discipline for Rianbow Dash to hold her breath and wait. Pinkie sat perfectly still, and stared intently at her water bottle.
  153. Rainbow Dash could feel her head grow light after about a minute, and couldn't help but inhale, a little louder than she'd have liked.
  155.     Pinkie Pie jumped high into the air and cheered in celebration "I WIN!" She jumped right up to the bush Rainbow Dash had been using as cover, and
  157. looked her pegasus friend right in the eye. "What are we gonna do now? Staring contest? Ooh! I know! Let's see who can balance on their head the longest!
  159. onetwothreeGO!" With that, Pinkie Pielaunched her hind legs into the air with a bit too much zeal, and instead of balancing herself upside down only succeeded in
  161. flipping herself over, landing right on top of Rainbow Dash.
  163.     The light blue pegasus squirmed her way out of the topiary, and snorted in displeasure. Pinkie looked up at her friend, and giggled. "Guess you won
  165. that one, huh?" She righted herself, ignoring the now-balanced hair-to-plant-life ratio of her mane. "So why were you following me around, Dashie? Huh? Huh?"
  167.     Rainbow Dash threw her front hooves up in surrender "Agh! I just want to know how the hay you open these things!" She pointed an accusing hoof at
  169. the water bottle that had somehow managed to stay upright during the whole ordeal.
  171.     Pinkie smiled even wider than before, if that was even possible. "Oh, that's all?" Pinkie asked. "That's easy. Watch!" Pinkie grabbed the bottle in one hoof,
  173. and held the cap in the other, and twisted. The cap came right off.
  175.     Rainbow Dash's eyes widened in shock. "What? How did you- How is that even possible? Hooves can't do that!" She fished through the bush for her own
  177. bottle with one hof, and upon finding it, tried to grab it. It was of course, impossible. She bumped it out of the bush, and tried to lift in again, to no avail. Her hoof
  179. just collided with the bottle and knocked it over. "How?!?" She tried again and again, unable to wrap her haed around Pinie's feat.
  181.     "It's easy! Just grab it!" Pinkie grabbed Rainbow Dash's bottle, and opened it for her. She held it out for her friend to take, and Rainbow lifted a hoof.
  183. Once Pinkie let go of the bottle, it tumbled to the ground, and dumped its liquid all over the grass. "Whoops, almost had it! Don't worry, you'll get it some day. La
  185. la la la la~" With that, Pinkie retrieved her bottle, and bounced off as Rainbow Dash could only stare in disbelief.
  187.     After her mind had recovered, Rainbow Dash made her way back into Ponyville. She found Shady Deals once again, and without a word, nor a glance up
  189. from the ground, she placed another small pile of bits in front of the salespony, and took another bottle. She dragged her hooves on the ground as she headed
  191. toward Sweet Apple Acres.
  193. ------------------------------------
  195.     Having Applejack open a bottle for her would probably damage her pride as much as Rarity or Twilight Sparkle, but at least there was the possibility
  197. that the non-magical, non-Pinkie-Pie earth pony couldn't open it either. Then at least Rainbow would know she wasn't the only one. Upon reaching the farm, she
  199. passed by three young fillies; one an earth pony, another a unicorn, and the last a pegasus like herself. The Cutie Mark Crusaders limped out of the corn field with
  201.  black feathers and blobs of mysterious white goop dotting their coats.
  203.     "Cutie Mark Crusaders Extreme Scarecrows was a bad idea..." said Applejack's younger sister Applebloom.
  205.     "Yeah, who's idea was that?" asked Scootaloo, a young orange pegasus.
  207.     "That would be you, you Kiwi." retorted Sweetie Belle, Rarity's younger sister.
  209.     "What 'n the hay's a kiwi?" asked Applebloom.
  211.     "It's a flightless bird from-" started Sweetie Belle.
  213.     "Flightless?!? Why you!" Scootaloo pounced the little unicorn and the three began wrestling, kicking up dust and feathers in their wake.
  215.     "Now you're just getting lazy with those." said Rainbow Dash, alerting the three to her presence. Scootaloo immediately abandoned her battle for
  217. vengeance, and sat eagerly at her idol's hooves. "Rainbow Dash!" she said excitedly.
  219.     "Hey kid." Rainbow Dash greeted. She looked past the swooning filly to the earth pony behind her. "Is Applejack around?"
  221.     "Ah sure am." called Applejack, making her way over from the barn. "Can't leave these three alone for too long, what with their Crusadin' an' whatnot."
  223. She walks over to her sister, and begins brushing feathers off her body. "What can ah do ya for, RD?"
  225.     "Uh... Well you see..." Now that she was here in person, it was even harder to just come out and say it. After such a heated rivalry, could she really
  227. embarass herself by asking help with a water bottle? It seemed so ridiculous! "Do you know how... Can you..." She trailed off. Why was she so stubborn? She had
  229. to declare a vendetta on the stupidest thing, didn't she. She gulped. "Open... this..." She refused to make eye contact with the orange earth pony as she pushed
  231. the water bottle forward with her hoof.
  233.     "Is that all?" Applejack asked. "alright, watch 'n' learn, sugarcubes." She made sure the bottle was balanced well enough on the ground, and took a step
  235. back. The other ponies followed suit. Pushing her hat farther down onto her head to make sure it didn't fall off, Applejack took a quick step toward the bottle,
  237. turned around, and bucked with all her might. The force was so great and so sudden that the top of the bottle was torn right off, and amazingly, the bottle stayed
  239. upright. Applejack nodded, and flicked her hat with her hoof to raise it out of her eyes again. "An' that's how we do it down here on th' farm."
  241.     "Wow. That was cool!" Exclaimed Applebloom, easily excited by her sister's show of strength. Rainbow Dash silently cursed inside. She doubted she
  243. could mimic that.
  245.     "You couldn't open a water bottle?" asked Sweetie Belle quizically. Applejack moved as if to say something, but Scootaloo jumped to defend her hero.
  247.     "Of course she could!" she cried. "Couldn't you Rainbow Dash?" Scootaloo looked up at Rainbow Dash, her eyes sparkling in admiration and
  249. expectation. There was no way Rainbow Dash could let that down, even if she could swallow her pride in front of Applejack.
  251.     "A-are you kidding? Of course I could!" She bluffed. "I just don't have another one with me. Oh well. Another ti-"
  253.     "I can go get one for you Rainbow Dash!" Scootaloo interjected. "I'll be right back!" The little pegasus bolted to her little scooter, and zipped into town.
  255. Rainbow Dash gulped in nervousness. If she couldn't think of something quick, she'd be in even deeper trouble thanks to her big mouth. Applejack side-stepped
  257. over to Rainbow Dash, and whispered into her ear.
  259.     "Ya can't open it, can ya?" Her voice was genuinely concerned, but Rainbow Dash stepped back, and snapped. "Of COURSE I can open it! Just watch!"
  261. Her voice cracked several times, and she could feel a lump growing in her throat. She was about to embarass herself, and she was just setting herself up for a
  263. more spectacular failure with every word.
  265.     "Here you go Rainbow Dash!" Called Scootaloo as she made her way back up the path toward the group of ponies. She parked against a fence, and
  267. gallopped over with a water bottle in her mouth. She placed it on the ground in front of Rainbow Dash, the "Ponysprings" label pointed right at her.
  269.     "A-alright... Here I go." Rainbow Dash's mind raced. The only way she could possibly mimic Applejack's method was to hit the bottle harder than she did.
  271. And the only thing she could think of that had more force that Applejack's buck, was a sonic rainboom. She gulped, and flew up into the air, flying to the other
  273. end of Sweet Apple Acres and beyond. She considered just going to the everfree forest and living under a rock for the rest of her life to spare herself the
  275. humiliation, but she couldn't disappoint her biggest fan. She wiped the tears forming in the corners of her eyes, and swallowed the lump in her throat. She aimed
  277. herself at the tiny blue speck on the ground, and flew at top speed.
  279.     She knew immediately that she wouldn't be able to accelerate fast enough. She only had about two thirds of the required speed  when she dipped
  281. closer to the ground to hit the water bottle, praying that by some miracle she could hit it. Such percision was difficult at that speed, and she ended up flying too
  283. low. She tore a long strip of dirt out of the ground, spewing it all over as it tore into her hooves and belly. The water bottle exploded on her head, soaking her,
  285. and blurring her vision. She shot into Ponyville and spiralled out of control, smashing through several buildings before eventually sliding to a halt.
  287. ----------------------------------------
  289.     Rainbow Dash awoke under the care of Nurse Reheart, with all five of her friends around her. "Uugh..." She moaned as she stirred, her vision slowly
  291. sliding into focus. She kind of wished she hadn't woken up. Her memory flooded back to her, and she choked back a sob. Her head hung in shame.
  293.     Applejack broke the silence. "You alright, sugarcube?" She tried to dip her head to catch Rainbow Dash's eye, but the pegasus turned away.
  295.     "I'm sorry you guys... My pride got the better of me..." She couldn't go on.
  297.     "But you're okay, right?" asked Fluttershy concernedly. Rainbow Dash nodded. She was sore, and she probably had more than a few scratches, but she
  299. had crashed plenty of times before, and this was far from the worst. The whole room exhaled collectively.
  301.     "Ya took quite the tumble there, sugarcube. Ya had us all worried." Applejack remarked, her voice full of relief.
  303.     "Yes, not to mention all the buildings you flew through," Rarity chimed in. "Were it not for Twilight Sparkle, it could have been some costly repairs."
  305.     "Yeah! Like, sixteen thousand billion!" Pinkie exclaimed, her imagination clearly running away with her. Twilight Sparkle shot her a look, and she sat back
  307. down with a wide smile across her face.
  309.     "What it would have cost doesn't matter as long as you're not hurt." Twilight said.
  311.     "Luckily nopony else got hurt..." said Fluttershy.
  313.     "You're not gonna get mad, or call me out?" Rainbow Dash asked, bewildered. She had a hard time believing she'd have been so forgiving if someone
  315. else had screwed up as bad as she did. "I mean, I nearly destroyed part of Ponyville, all for my pride."
  317.     "Well, I think that as long as you realize your mistake, we'll forgive you." Twilight said. She gave a nod of satisfaction. "Well I think we've learned a
  319. valuable lesson here-"
  321.     "Well, looks like I'm all better now! See you guys later!" Rainbow Dash bolted off before Twilight could enter lecture mode. She learned the lesson first-
  323. hoof. She didn't need it summarized. The other ponies followed out, making their own escape as well.
  325. ---------------------------------  
  327.     "Rainbow Dash! Wait up!" The cyan pegasus looked down as she flew up out of Ponyville toward Cloudsdale. Pinkie Pie bounced excitedly underneth
  329. her. She descended to meet with her friend, and touched down on the ground.
  331.     "What's up?" She asked her earth pony friend.
  333.     "Well it WAS you, but now you're down here with me," Pinkie Pie said very rapidly. "Oh, but don't feel too down, Dashie, look what I've got!" She
  335. produced what else but a "Ponysprings" water bottle. She twisted the cap off, and placed it at Rainbow's hooves. "You never got to drink your water." She said.
  337.     Rainbow Dash picked up the bottle awkwardly between her hooves, her mouth around the open end, and gulped down the water, sighing in satisfaction.
  339. She embraced her friend in a hug. "Thanks Pinkie..."
  341. THE END
  344. OR IS IT?
  345. This started out as a joke between a friend and I. He was bored one night, so as a joke, I told him to write a Rainbow Dash fanfic. He came up with "Rainbow Dash
  347. bought a bottle of water. The end." This of course was not enough for me, so I began pressing him for details. First, how much did it cost? He responded "sixteen
  349. thousand billion." So that's why I had to shoehorn that in there. The same with the "Ponysprings" brand name, "Shady Deals" the vendor, and even the fact that
  351. she didn't want juice. I decided to write it out in full, but then wondered "How the buck does a pony open a water bottle anyway?" And thus this monstrosity was
  353. created. So it's essentailly all just a big joke.
  354. BUT
  355. That ending up there is more of a serious tone, so here's an alternate ending. Let's just say that when I was pressing for details, I asked him "Does she share the
  357. bottle with anyone, and think about the indirect kiss?" He responded "no" but I respond "YES."
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