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  1. [3/30/2011 10:10:55 PM] James Cebulla: what phase...?
  2. [3/30/2011 10:11:21 PM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: the phase of my fucked up 17-year-old confused life
  3. [3/30/2011 10:11:50 PM] James Cebulla: Drink some juice, and have some oreos while sitting at a bar stool
  4. [3/30/2011 10:11:52 PM] James Cebulla: always helps me
  5. [3/30/2011 10:11:55 PM] James Cebulla: why is your life fucked up
  6. [3/30/2011 10:11:59 PM] James Cebulla: it seems perfectly fine to me.
  7. [3/30/2011 10:12:02 PM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: hahahaha
  8. [3/30/2011 10:12:38 PM] James Cebulla: nothing should be confusing for you, stressful, yes, i've been talking to lexiem and she's stressed up to her eyeballs with work
  9. [3/30/2011 10:12:46 PM] James Cebulla: but confused, no.
  10. [3/30/2011 10:13:07 PM] James Cebulla: you're a mom anyways
  11. [3/30/2011 10:13:10 PM] James Cebulla: you don't GET confused.
  12. [3/30/2011 10:13:51 PM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: i'm a divorced, alcoholic, drug-addicted, single mother of approximately 2 hypothetical children
  13. [3/30/2011 10:13:57 PM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: (ok, false. but it sounded appropriate)
  14. [3/30/2011 10:14:18 PM] James Cebulla: since when are you drug addicted fool, unless you mean advil, and you have no children.
  15. [3/30/2011 10:14:28 PM] James Cebulla: Divorcing should be easy since it was you who divorced
  16. [3/30/2011 10:14:32 PM] James Cebulla: that trouble is on my side
  17. [3/30/2011 10:14:37 PM] James Cebulla: so, you're not an alcoholic
  18. [3/30/2011 10:14:38 PM] James Cebulla: because you have a brain
  19. [3/30/2011 10:14:50 PM] James Cebulla: single is the only true part of that sentence
  20. [3/30/2011 10:15:17 PM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: well you said im a mother
  21. [3/30/2011 10:15:21 PM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: therefore i have children
  22. [3/30/2011 10:15:24 PM] James Cebulla: you are like a mother
  23. [3/30/2011 10:15:25 PM] James Cebulla: in terms of
  24. [3/30/2011 10:15:27 PM] James Cebulla: how you act
  25. [3/30/2011 10:15:31 PM] James Cebulla: you don't have any children any more.
  26. [3/30/2011 10:15:34 PM] James Cebulla: they are all gone.
  27. [3/30/2011 10:15:48 PM] James Cebulla: I was your child, and since I am now gone, you therefore have no children
  28. [3/30/2011 10:16:27 PM] James Cebulla: you don't do drugs
  29. [3/30/2011 10:16:28 PM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: well, you're right here
  30. [3/30/2011 10:16:28 PM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: so debatable
  31. [3/30/2011 10:16:30 PM] James Cebulla: and you're not old enough to drink
  32. [3/30/2011 10:16:33 PM] James Cebulla: but i'm not your child anymore
  33. [3/30/2011 10:16:37 PM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: you still use my chapstick
  34. [3/30/2011 10:16:44 PM] James Cebulla: my lips get chapped.
  35. [3/30/2011 10:16:47 PM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: and i have like a million kids
  36. [3/30/2011 10:16:56 PM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: all the kids i babysit = ~5
  37. [3/30/2011 10:17:06 PM] James Cebulla: babysitter =/= mothet
  38. [3/30/2011 10:17:09 PM] James Cebulla: mother*
  39. [3/30/2011 10:17:11 PM] James Cebulla: but fine.
  40. [3/30/2011 10:17:14 PM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: i mother the haley girl
  41. [3/30/2011 10:17:17 PM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: s
  42. [3/30/2011 10:17:18 PM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: and others
  43. [3/30/2011 10:17:19 PM] James Cebulla: debatable, but fine.
  44. [3/30/2011 10:17:23 PM] James Cebulla: theyre as old as you
  45. [3/30/2011 10:17:27 PM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: ok. i'm unimportant. cool.
  46. [3/30/2011 10:17:31 PM] James Cebulla: you're a colleague in a time of need.
  47. [3/30/2011 10:17:35 PM] James Cebulla: I'm not saying you're unimportant
  48. [3/30/2011 10:17:38 PM] James Cebulla: don't twist my words
  49. [3/30/2011 10:17:42 PM] James Cebulla: I'm saying you are a debatable mother
  50. [3/30/2011 10:17:47 PM] James Cebulla: and you are over-exaggreting your problems
  51. [3/30/2011 10:17:51 PM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: i am a maternal young adult
  52. [3/30/2011 10:18:03 PM] James Cebulla: agreed.
  53. [3/30/2011 10:18:33 PM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: for the record, every time i see kate silverberg, i laugh.
  54. [3/30/2011 10:18:44 PM] James Cebulla: silberberg*
  55. [3/30/2011 10:18:50 PM] James Cebulla: is it her hunchback?
  56. [3/30/2011 10:18:59 PM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: she seems like a respectable, presentable, young girl
  57. [3/30/2011 10:19:05 PM] James Cebulla: I would hope so
  58. [3/30/2011 10:19:12 PM] James Cebulla: she sends bad one word texts
  59. [3/30/2011 10:19:16 PM] James Cebulla: and that is about it
  60. [3/30/2011 10:19:21 PM] James Cebulla: i am pleasantly social with her
  61. [3/30/2011 10:19:22 PM] James Cebulla: how are you connected
  62. [3/30/2011 10:19:50 PM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: "we should get together."
  63. [3/30/2011 10:20:03 PM] James Cebulla: oh, yeah.
  64. [3/30/2011 10:20:08 PM] James Cebulla: pretty funny
  65. [3/30/2011 10:20:11 PM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: i laugh
  66. [3/30/2011 10:20:12 PM] James Cebulla: she thought we would be good together
  67. [3/30/2011 10:20:15 PM] James Cebulla: when i was with you
  68. [3/30/2011 10:20:20 PM] James Cebulla: i wouldve disagreed regardless
  69. [3/30/2011 10:20:24 PM] James Cebulla: beause i really do not talk to her
  70. [3/30/2011 10:20:29 PM] James Cebulla: and she is not personally very attractive
  71. [3/30/2011 10:20:30 PM] James Cebulla: while nice.
  72. [3/30/2011 10:20:48 PM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: i'm wearing alex's pajama pants. they have red dice on them with smiles.
  73. [3/30/2011 10:21:10 PM] James Cebulla: neato mosquito
  74. [3/30/2011 10:21:13 PM] James Cebulla: i hope they are warm and comfy
  75. [3/30/2011 10:21:25 PM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: not really
  76. [3/30/2011 10:21:29 PM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: i just put on my slippers
  77. [3/30/2011 10:21:31 PM] James Cebulla: then switch pants fool
  78. [3/30/2011 10:21:36 PM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: i could
  79. [3/30/2011 10:21:45 PM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: but i don't sleep with pants so it's not even worth it
  80. [3/30/2011 10:22:00 PM] James Cebulla: then why do you have pants on in the first place?
  81. [3/30/2011 10:22:03 PM] James Cebulla: are you in bed?
  82. [3/30/2011 10:22:09 PM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: nah at my desk right now
  83. [3/30/2011 10:22:23 PM] James Cebulla: oh, okay.
  84. [3/30/2011 10:22:34 PM] James Cebulla: Glad you let me know you were wearing my shirt under your massive cream colored sweater
  85. [3/30/2011 10:22:42 PM] James Cebulla: yesterday
  86. [3/30/2011 10:22:43 PM] James Cebulla: or something
  87. [3/30/2011 10:22:46 PM] James Cebulla: three days ago
  88. [3/30/2011 10:22:50 PM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: yesterday
  89. [3/30/2011 10:23:29 PM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: 'glad' ?
  90. [3/30/2011 10:23:47 PM] James Cebulla: sarcastically glad
  91. [3/30/2011 10:23:54 PM] James Cebulla: it was an unnecessary comment in my opinion
  92. [3/30/2011 10:24:00 PM] James Cebulla: i should've said neutral
  93. [3/30/2011 10:24:07 PM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: well then
  94. [3/30/2011 10:24:07 PM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: apologies
  95. [3/30/2011 10:24:21 PM] James Cebulla: If you choose to wear it please do not tell me
  96. [3/30/2011 10:24:47 PM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: i won't wear it again, i'll bring it back once i wash it
  97. [3/30/2011 10:25:52 PM] James Cebulla: what does exsclusively dating mean
  98. [3/30/2011 10:28:59 PM] James Cebulla: .
  99. [3/30/2011 10:33:21 PM] James Cebulla: or not...
  100. [4/1/2011 11:55:28 PM] James Cebulla: hi
  101. [4/1/2011 11:56:01 PM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: well met, well met
  102. [4/1/2011 11:56:15 PM] James Cebulla: that's what orcs say in WoW
  103. [4/1/2011 11:56:24 PM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: fuck yes
  104. [4/1/2011 11:56:30 PM] James Cebulla: yeah.
  105. [4/1/2011 11:56:39 PM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: you told me to go on skype. so here i am.
  106. [4/1/2011 11:56:49 PM] James Cebulla: its easier than txting
  107. [4/1/2011 11:56:54 PM] James Cebulla: why the sudden apology
  108. [4/1/2011 11:57:00 PM] James Cebulla: as opposed to the apathy beforehand
  109. [4/1/2011 11:57:05 PM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: well
  110. [4/1/2011 11:57:08 PM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: i had a breakdown today
  111. [4/1/2011 11:57:14 PM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: in the middle of a show it was nbd
  112. [4/1/2011 11:57:17 PM] James Cebulla: really now, tell me about it.
  113. [4/1/2011 11:57:22 PM] James Cebulla: I'm all ears kate.
  114. [4/1/2011 11:57:32 PM] James Cebulla: genuinely.
  115. [4/1/2011 11:58:38 PM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: well. basically i hate who i've become as of late. like, HATE it. i'm not me. and if i'm me, then i'm very different. like, it's hard to explain, i suppose. but i'm just really fickle and... conceited, i suppose.
  116. [4/1/2011 11:59:05 PM] James Cebulla: well, i'll be honest, I have noticed some changes since this fall when I met you
  117. [4/1/2011 11:59:06 PM] James Cebulla: that is for sure.
  118. [4/1/2011 11:59:15 PM] James Cebulla: what specifically do you hate about yourself
  119. [4/1/2011 11:59:29 PM] James Cebulla: because to me, you seemed like you were doing just fine on the outside
  120. [4/2/2011 12:00:34 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: i don't know. i think it's more of a change since i've been in high school. like, when i was a freshman i had really strict morals and stuff. and there were like 3 specific things that i was against. and i had my friends, and then i had the rest of the school. i've basically lost all of my morals, and just resorted to acting like i'm fine all of the time instead of facing my problems.
  121. [4/2/2011 12:01:07 AM] James Cebulla: what problems have you been dodging
  122. [4/2/2011 12:01:16 AM] James Cebulla: I agree I have noticed a change in additude since even just this fall
  123. [4/2/2011 12:01:19 AM] James Cebulla: to be honest with you.
  124. [4/2/2011 12:01:25 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: such as... ?
  125. [4/2/2011 12:01:33 AM] James Cebulla: you're just
  126. [4/2/2011 12:01:35 AM] James Cebulla: idk different
  127. [4/2/2011 12:01:46 AM] James Cebulla: you act cooler, like a "cool" kid
  128. [4/2/2011 12:01:51 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: ew.
  129. [4/2/2011 12:01:52 AM] James Cebulla: so to speak
  130. [4/2/2011 12:01:58 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: i just feel really.... i don't know. sad. empty.
  131. [4/2/2011 12:02:03 AM] James Cebulla: you're more aggressive
  132. [4/2/2011 12:02:04 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: that's so fucking depressing wtf
  133. [4/2/2011 12:02:09 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: yeah
  134. [4/2/2011 12:02:10 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: i hate that
  135. [4/2/2011 12:02:11 AM] James Cebulla: it's very depressing
  136. [4/2/2011 12:02:19 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: i cry ALL THE TIME now
  137. [4/2/2011 12:02:30 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: and i have no motivation
  138. [4/2/2011 12:02:35 AM] James Cebulla: i was about to say
  139. [4/2/2011 12:02:37 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: i just don't give a fuck
  140. [4/2/2011 12:02:37 AM] James Cebulla: there should be no tears
  141. [4/2/2011 12:02:44 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: but i can't stop crying
  142. [4/2/2011 12:02:45 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: like, i always am
  143. [4/2/2011 12:02:59 AM] James Cebulla: well then we need to find the root of the problem
  144. [4/2/2011 12:03:01 AM] James Cebulla: and eradicate it
  145. [4/2/2011 12:03:05 AM] James Cebulla: to stop the tears
  146. [4/2/2011 12:03:22 AM] James Cebulla: because as much as i disagree with your choice of actions regarding me, and your life as of late, I do not want to see you like this.
  147. [4/2/2011 12:03:56 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: while i admit you are a youngster (mere fact), i also admit that you brought back my morals. i miss that.
  148. [4/2/2011 12:04:21 AM] James Cebulla: this is true, because you could mother me
  149. [4/2/2011 12:04:22 AM] James Cebulla: and as a part of that
  150. [4/2/2011 12:04:27 AM] James Cebulla: you consistently shut me down
  151. [4/2/2011 12:04:31 AM] James Cebulla: and didn't let me be who i wanted to be
  152. [4/2/2011 12:04:38 AM] James Cebulla: i couldn't say anything without you calling me stupid
  153. [4/2/2011 12:04:41 AM] James Cebulla: or, un-knowledgeable
  154. [4/2/2011 12:04:50 AM] James Cebulla: or just plain dumb
  155. [4/2/2011 12:04:58 AM] James Cebulla: because you thought of me as your complete inferior by age
  156. [4/2/2011 12:05:22 AM] James Cebulla: that is what happened from my perspective
  157. [4/2/2011 12:05:23 AM] James Cebulla: at least
  158. [4/2/2011 12:06:44 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: but the thing is i didn't. and i never did. and i still don't. age is something that i find inferior to other factors. especially in theater company. i mean, there's a lot of 'frosh' jokes and such, but when it all comes down to it, age doesn't matter. the fact that i make jokes like that and stuff means that i'm comfortable with you. i'm a really sarcastic person (if you haven't figured that out yet, then i just come off as a bitch), and me being completely fine and boundary-less with you was mere comfort.
  159. [4/2/2011 12:07:08 AM] James Cebulla: I mean i'm aware of it
  160. [4/2/2011 12:07:13 AM] James Cebulla: and i laughed it off most of the time
  161. [4/2/2011 12:07:16 AM] James Cebulla: because i usually understood that
  162. [4/2/2011 12:07:26 AM] James Cebulla: but then when you started flirting outrageously with the older, more mature festival guys
  163. [4/2/2011 12:07:28 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: but you should have fucking told me if you didn't feel alright with everything
  164. [4/2/2011 12:07:31 AM] James Cebulla: it really threw me off, so to speak
  165. [4/2/2011 12:07:54 AM] James Cebulla: well, i thought you would just yell at more some more and tell me to stop being a cunt
  166. [4/2/2011 12:07:54 AM] James Cebulla: so i didn't
  167. [4/2/2011 12:08:15 AM] James Cebulla: which is what usually happened
  168. [4/2/2011 12:08:31 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: for the record, i hardly even had a chance to talk to you at fest. so i think that's a little unfair to say that.
  169. [4/2/2011 12:08:42 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: because you said i was constantly degrading you
  170. [4/2/2011 12:09:10 AM] James Cebulla: you didn't degrade me at festival
  171. [4/2/2011 12:09:18 AM] James Cebulla: but I felt like the whole time you were avoiding me
  172. [4/2/2011 12:09:42 AM] James Cebulla: and, the whole tec rehersals
  173. [4/2/2011 12:09:52 AM] James Cebulla: I mean, I saw people legitimately like rubbing their hands up and down your thighs
  174. [4/2/2011 12:09:55 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: ... you were there for one tech
  175. [4/2/2011 12:09:58 AM] James Cebulla: and you just takin it like a champ
  176. [4/2/2011 12:10:02 AM] James Cebulla: i was there for multiple
  177. [4/2/2011 12:10:03 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: he hit me! wtf
  178. [4/2/2011 12:10:27 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: and as sm i'm supposed to be welcoming. i was talking to a cripple, for gosh darn's sake
  179. [4/2/2011 12:10:47 AM] James Cebulla: alright, relax, i'm totally calm now, don't get mad.
  180. [4/2/2011 12:10:53 AM] James Cebulla: i'm just voicing how it made me feel
  181. [4/2/2011 12:10:54 AM] James Cebulla: okay?
  182. [4/2/2011 12:10:58 AM] James Cebulla: Should i not?
  183. [4/2/2011 12:11:01 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: no it's fine
  184. [4/2/2011 12:11:09 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: i don't want you to feel the need to censor yourself
  185. [4/2/2011 12:11:16 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: because i don't
  186. [4/2/2011 12:11:18 AM] James Cebulla: I don't even know how to describe
  187. [4/2/2011 12:11:28 AM] James Cebulla: like, I felt like I just wasn't good enough for you
  188. [4/2/2011 12:11:28 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: do you not want to talk to me?
  189. [4/2/2011 12:11:33 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: because i don't need to stay right now
  190. [4/2/2011 12:11:36 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: if you don't want
  191. [4/2/2011 12:11:40 AM] James Cebulla: I do, but at the same time, I don't.
  192. [4/2/2011 12:11:42 AM] James Cebulla: i mean
  193. [4/2/2011 12:11:46 AM] James Cebulla: when you said to me
  194. [4/2/2011 12:11:58 AM] James Cebulla: that like, you were sorry for leading me on, and didnt think we were in a relationship
  195. [4/2/2011 12:12:02 AM] James Cebulla: that was a little odd
  196. [4/2/2011 12:12:09 AM] James Cebulla: and, made me feel like a poop
  197. [4/2/2011 12:12:24 AM] James Cebulla: and then immediately after, you were just all over them festival boys. FROM MY POV
  198. [4/2/2011 12:12:32 AM] James Cebulla: and I asked you to try and justify
  199. [4/2/2011 12:12:33 AM] James Cebulla: so i could sleep
  200. [4/2/2011 12:12:38 AM] James Cebulla: because I actually could not
  201. [4/2/2011 12:12:41 AM] James Cebulla: close my eyes at night
  202. [4/2/2011 12:12:45 AM] James Cebulla: and you just left
  203. [4/2/2011 12:12:47 AM] James Cebulla: and that was a little odd
  204. [4/2/2011 12:13:22 AM] James Cebulla: and like, I feel like, I can't help but like you, because i've spent my whole year with you basically
  205. [4/2/2011 12:13:25 AM] James Cebulla: you are it.
  206. [4/2/2011 12:13:32 AM] James Cebulla: but, you are always so aggressive towards me
  207. [4/2/2011 12:13:43 AM] James Cebulla: and time and time again, i's like, maybe she just wnats me for the physical aspect
  208. [4/2/2011 12:13:59 AM] James Cebulla: since you had your thing with Dan, and then all this stuff, and I don't know.
  209. [4/2/2011 12:14:24 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: i hope you know that when i told you i loved you, i meant it.
  210. [4/2/2011 12:14:29 AM] James Cebulla: and you even hinted that you didn't want to be with me
  211. [4/2/2011 12:14:37 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: and there's the crying again. good one, kate.
  212. [4/2/2011 12:14:41 AM] James Cebulla: when I was like, "haha, seems like we never ge our weekends together"
  213. [4/2/2011 12:14:49 AM] James Cebulla: you were like, "maybe the world is trying to tell us something"
  214. [4/2/2011 12:14:53 AM] James Cebulla: and I didn't want to say it outright because I was still deciding
  215. [4/2/2011 12:15:12 AM] James Cebulla: crying is a release of emotions, just let it come out naturally.
  216. [4/2/2011 12:15:22 AM] James Cebulla: and even all over my formspring
  217. [4/2/2011 12:15:25 AM] James Cebulla: you don't even kno
  218. [4/2/2011 12:15:28 AM] James Cebulla: how many anon questions i got
  219. [4/2/2011 12:15:42 AM] James Cebulla: saying "your girlfriend is going to cheat on you hahahahahahah your life is gonn abe fucked up"
  220. [4/2/2011 12:15:59 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: honestly, formspring is not a good thing.
  221. [4/2/2011 12:16:08 AM] James Cebulla: and then
  222. [4/2/2011 12:16:12 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: i'm sure you'll figure that out soon enough, but it really isn't worth it.
  223. [4/2/2011 12:16:15 AM] James Cebulla: festival rolled around
  224. [4/2/2011 12:16:23 AM] James Cebulla: and people told me that you were grinding on other people
  225. [4/2/2011 12:16:33 AM] James Cebulla: and like, you wouldn't talk to me all day, even though i'm aware you were busy
  226. [4/2/2011 12:16:44 AM] James Cebulla: and you just hung out with that jesse kid all day
  227. [4/2/2011 12:16:45 AM] James Cebulla: which would be cool
  228. [4/2/2011 12:16:49 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: false
  229. [4/2/2011 12:16:51 AM] James Cebulla: but i mean, you could at least tell me hello
  230. [4/2/2011 12:16:59 AM] James Cebulla: maybe kiss me, and say you miss me but have work to do
  231. [4/2/2011 12:17:14 AM] James Cebulla: i have a scenario
  232. [4/2/2011 12:17:20 AM] James Cebulla: evan and i walked out of opposite classrooms
  233. [4/2/2011 12:17:21 AM] James Cebulla: you were walking down the hallway
  234. [4/2/2011 12:17:26 AM] James Cebulla: you recognise both of us
  235. [4/2/2011 12:17:33 AM] James Cebulla: turn straight to evan, "hey evan, how's your day going? ((h))"
  236. [4/2/2011 12:17:43 AM] James Cebulla: keep walking straight down the hallway
  237. [4/2/2011 12:17:47 AM] James Cebulla: without even making eye contact with me
  238. [4/2/2011 12:18:26 AM] James Cebulla: do you want to say anything now?
  239. [4/2/2011 12:19:56 AM] James Cebulla: and I like formspring, regardless of the bad things people say on it, gives people confidence to say things
  240. [4/2/2011 12:20:22 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: in my defense, i never see evan. and he was worried about coming to weston and being there all day, so i wanted him to be comfortable. and yes, i'm not going to deny that i should have gone up to you all the times i wanted to and kissed you and told you i loved you and hugged you and held you and told you that i wish we could just spend the day together and not waste time with the peasants we call theater kids. yes, i should have done that LOADS more times. i understand that. but i didn't. and i regret not doing so.
  241. [4/2/2011 12:20:40 AM] James Cebulla: and then it was you who broke up with me
  242. [4/2/2011 12:21:04 AM] James Cebulla: and i figured, okay, fine, i'm not old enough, i'm not mature enough, she could have anyone she wanted, it's the hair, she's got the confidence, she's got jesse, she's got evan, she's got who ever
  243. [4/2/2011 12:21:10 AM] James Cebulla: and I cried
  244. [4/2/2011 12:21:11 AM] James Cebulla: for the first time
  245. [4/2/2011 12:21:14 AM] James Cebulla: in maybe 3 years
  246. [4/2/2011 12:21:26 AM] James Cebulla: and I didn't sleep that night
  247. [4/2/2011 12:21:27 AM] James Cebulla: or the next
  248. [4/2/2011 12:21:28 AM] James Cebulla: or the next
  249. [4/2/2011 12:21:29 AM] James Cebulla: or the next
  250. [4/2/2011 12:21:30 AM] James Cebulla: and so forth
  251. [4/2/2011 12:21:34 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: jesse and evan mean nothing, james! why can't you understand that! look at them! good lord!
  252. [4/2/2011 12:21:56 AM] James Cebulla: then why did you stop liking me!
  253. [4/2/2011 12:21:57 AM] James Cebulla: what was the reason
  254. [4/2/2011 12:22:02 AM] James Cebulla: just give me some justification!!
  255. [4/2/2011 12:22:08 AM] James Cebulla: so I can stop making assumptions in my mind!
  256. [4/2/2011 12:22:10 AM] James Cebulla: jesus christ
  257. [4/2/2011 12:22:23 AM] James Cebulla: was i too awkward
  258. [4/2/2011 12:22:26 AM] James Cebulla: was i not performing well physically
  259. [4/2/2011 12:22:30 AM] James Cebulla: i just, don't, KNOW.
  260. [4/2/2011 12:23:27 AM] James Cebulla: when you are preented with older, bigger boys
  261. [4/2/2011 12:23:32 AM] James Cebulla: what am i supposed to think when you ignore me and spend all your time with them
  262. [4/2/2011 12:23:41 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: i didn't stop liking you! i HAVEN'T stopped liking you! it was that everyone ever was telling me to go for this other guy, and that you were being really rude to tyngs people and shit and like being weird. i don't know. it was a panicking thing. and then i did it and immediately regretted it. and then i was in a bad mood. and am CONTINUING to be in a bad mood about everything.
  263. [4/2/2011 12:24:05 AM] James Cebulla: I Was being rude to tyngs?!?!?
  264. [4/2/2011 12:24:07 AM] James Cebulla: i love them all!
  265. [4/2/2011 12:24:09 AM] James Cebulla: theyre my favorite
  266. [4/2/2011 12:24:14 AM] James Cebulla: except for jesse
  267. [4/2/2011 12:24:21 AM] James Cebulla: because of previously said reasons
  268. [4/2/2011 12:24:30 AM] James Cebulla: i dont know him at all, and i judged him
  269. [4/2/2011 12:24:37 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: he's the most awkward piece of ass out there, you have no need to feel competitive
  270. [4/2/2011 12:24:37 AM] James Cebulla: because i thought that was the reason for my lack of sleep
  271. [4/2/2011 12:25:00 AM] James Cebulla: well then who was the other guy???
  272. [4/2/2011 12:25:19 AM] James Cebulla: was my rudeness me being cranky b/c they were slightly rude to grace and aless, and also their lateness in setting up and loading up
  273. [4/2/2011 12:26:19 AM] James Cebulla: and even still
  274. [4/2/2011 12:26:20 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: well alessandra and tyngs people kept telling me about how you were like telling EVERYONE i was your girlfriend, and that sort of freaked me out because i felt like we had never actually had a talk about whether we were ready to put that label on us.
  275. [4/2/2011 12:26:31 AM] James Cebulla: WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT
  276. [4/2/2011 12:26:39 AM] James Cebulla: da fuck.
  277. [4/2/2011 12:26:48 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: like, everyone ever was talking about that
  278. [4/2/2011 12:26:53 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: which was just awk
  279. [4/2/2011 12:26:56 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: and i freaked, to be honest
  280. [4/2/2011 12:27:03 AM] James Cebulla: first off, alessandra asked me, are you and katelyn official, and I said, yeah, as far as i'm aware we're dating.
  281. [4/2/2011 12:27:06 AM] James Cebulla: because I thought we were
  282. [4/2/2011 12:27:11 AM] James Cebulla: i mean, I asked you out, you said yes
  283. [4/2/2011 12:27:17 AM] James Cebulla: we were all touchy feely in public
  284. [4/2/2011 12:27:19 AM] James Cebulla: which i would never fdo
  285. [4/2/2011 12:27:23 AM] James Cebulla: with someone i wasn't committed to
  286. [4/2/2011 12:27:27 AM] James Cebulla: as i am a very reserved kind of person
  287. [4/2/2011 12:27:29 AM] James Cebulla: i never trold anyone from tyngsboro that i "claimed you"
  288. [4/2/2011 12:27:35 AM] James Cebulla: or was your girlfriend
  289. [4/2/2011 12:27:53 AM] James Cebulla: grace was telling people that it was awkward that jesse was flirting with you b/c we had a thing
  290. [4/2/2011 12:27:55 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: yeah but we had never actually had the conversation. and james, i honestly wish we had. i wish i had just calmed the fuck down and asked you to be legit-skiis with me. fuck my judgement.
  291. [4/2/2011 12:28:15 AM] James Cebulla: ALSO
  292. [4/2/2011 12:28:22 AM] James Cebulla: if you still iked me then why were you so cold to me
  293. [4/2/2011 12:28:27 AM] James Cebulla: when i tried to text you, reform a bond
  294. [4/2/2011 12:28:30 AM] James Cebulla: check how you were feeling
  295. [4/2/2011 12:28:32 AM] James Cebulla: do SOMETHING
  296. [4/2/2011 12:28:41 AM] James Cebulla: you must've realized that I didn't hate you
  297. [4/2/2011 12:29:01 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: it was just awkward
  298. [4/2/2011 12:29:12 AM] James Cebulla: it's awkward because you left me for another boy
  299. [4/2/2011 12:29:23 AM] James Cebulla: and i had nothing to say to you in real life without calling you a slimy cunt
  300. [4/2/2011 12:29:31 AM] James Cebulla: so i ATTEMPTED to reform a bond
  301. [4/2/2011 12:29:34 AM] James Cebulla: in the best way I could katelyn.
  302. [4/2/2011 12:29:51 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: and i felt awkward because i made a bad choice but a lot of people were telling me that it was a good choice because your young. but i kept telling people that you were so much more than that to me. you ARE so much more than that. so much more.
  303. [4/2/2011 12:30:06 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: and i'm glad that 'slimy cunt' is so fervent in your vocabulary
  304. [4/2/2011 12:30:07 AM] James Cebulla: IF YOU SAID AGE WASN'T A FACTOR WHY DID YOU LISTEN TO THEM
  305. [4/2/2011 12:30:13 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: it's a good one, i give you props
  306. [4/2/2011 12:30:16 AM] James Cebulla: slimy cunt has been my word of choice lately.
  307. [4/2/2011 12:30:17 AM] James Cebulla: bcause you have
  308. [4/2/2011 12:30:21 AM] James Cebulla: i guess in your words
  309. [4/2/2011 12:30:22 AM] James Cebulla: "lead me on"
  310. [4/2/2011 12:30:26 AM] James Cebulla: like, the whole year.
  311. [4/2/2011 12:30:37 AM] James Cebulla: and
  312. [4/2/2011 12:30:39 AM] James Cebulla: you've picked me up
  313. [4/2/2011 12:30:40 AM] James Cebulla: and dropped me
  314. [4/2/2011 12:30:45 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: i wish i had just grown up a little and had the conversation with you
  315. [4/2/2011 12:30:45 AM] James Cebulla: this is the 2nd or 3rd time now
  316. [4/2/2011 12:30:47 AM] James Cebulla: what am i supposed to do
  317. [4/2/2011 12:30:53 AM] James Cebulla: what happens now kate.
  318. [4/2/2011 12:31:01 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: it's not up to me what you want to do, james.
  319. [4/2/2011 12:31:34 AM] James Cebulla: can we video?
  320. [4/2/2011 12:31:42 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: no i'm crying in darkness
  321. [4/2/2011 12:31:44 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: so no
  322. [4/2/2011 12:31:48 AM] James Cebulla: i'm aware.
  323. [4/2/2011 12:31:51 AM] James Cebulla: let's video
  324. [4/2/2011 12:31:51 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: no
  325. [4/2/2011 12:31:53 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: no
  326. [4/2/2011 12:31:54 AM] James Cebulla: i'm not going to judge you
  327. [4/2/2011 12:31:55 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: no
  328. [4/2/2011 12:31:56 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: no
  329. [4/2/2011 12:31:57 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: no
  330. [4/2/2011 12:31:58 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: no
  331. [4/2/2011 12:31:58 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: no
  332. [4/2/2011 12:32:05 AM] James Cebulla: Kate I want to look at you
  333. [4/2/2011 12:32:13 AM] James Cebulla: I want to see you, without awkwardly pretending I didn't mean to look at you
  334. [4/2/2011 12:32:20 AM] James Cebulla: even when i have been desperately staring at you
  335. [4/2/2011 12:32:22 AM] James Cebulla: ever since that fateful weekend
  336. [4/2/2011 12:33:27 AM] James Cebulla: you dont even have to talk
  337. [4/2/2011 12:33:30 AM] James Cebulla: you can still type
  338. [4/2/2011 12:33:37 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: james i can't bear to look at you and know that you're the only thing i've been thinking of lately. that every time i saw you today it broke my heart just a little bit more. that every time we made eye contact i had to look away, and that me punching tara in the arm today was just a means of coping with sitting behind you. or how on the bus home all i could think about was our bus rides to attleboro, and how i wish we had been canoodling on those rides. i can't even.
  339. [4/2/2011 12:33:55 AM] *** Call to Katelyn Abigail Engler, no answer. ***
  340. [4/2/2011 12:34:10 AM] James Cebulla: Katelyn, every single living thing on this PLANET reminds me of you.
  341. [4/2/2011 12:34:16 AM] James Cebulla: watching reid and kristen on the bus rides
  342. [4/2/2011 12:34:20 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: kills me
  343. [4/2/2011 12:34:22 AM] James Cebulla: listening to all of your songs
  344. [4/2/2011 12:34:24 AM] James Cebulla: on my ipod
  345. [4/2/2011 12:34:25 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: OBLITERATES my heart
  346. [4/2/2011 12:34:26 AM] James Cebulla: i can't listen to them anymore
  347. [4/2/2011 12:34:31 AM] James Cebulla: I couldnt this whole week
  348. [4/2/2011 12:34:33 AM] James Cebulla: ever since that day
  349. [4/2/2011 12:34:36 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: i was singing 't-shirt' today
  350. [4/2/2011 12:34:36 AM] James Cebulla: I couldn't listen to them
  351. [4/2/2011 12:34:41 AM] James Cebulla: I CAN'T LISTEN TO THAT
  352. [4/2/2011 12:34:42 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: and had to sit down
  353. [4/2/2011 12:34:43 AM] James Cebulla: that one kills me
  354. [4/2/2011 12:34:53 AM] James Cebulla: over and over
  355. [4/2/2011 12:35:16 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: you told me that you never wanted to know if i wore your shirt again. i legitimately fell on the floor wrapped in your shirt. i sat there crying for at least an hour.
  356. [4/2/2011 12:35:34 AM] *** Call to Katelyn Abigail Engler, no answer. ***
  357. [4/2/2011 12:35:41 AM] James Cebulla: katelyn
  358. [4/2/2011 12:35:44 AM] James Cebulla: you told me
  359. [4/2/2011 12:35:44 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: james i can't
  360. [4/2/2011 12:35:47 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: james
  361. [4/2/2011 12:35:49 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: i can't
  362. [4/2/2011 12:35:50 AM] James Cebulla: katelyn fun fact
  363. [4/2/2011 12:35:56 AM] James Cebulla: therer are tears streaming down my faec
  364. [4/2/2011 12:36:00 AM] James Cebulla: so now we're equal
  365. [4/2/2011 12:36:23 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: james i can't
  366. [4/2/2011 12:36:33 AM] James Cebulla: katelyn you came up to me and told me you were wearing my t-shirt
  367. [4/2/2011 12:36:37 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: i'm the most unpresentable mop of death right now
  368. [4/2/2011 12:36:38 AM] James Cebulla: that just made me think that you were slimy
  369. [4/2/2011 12:36:42 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: thanks
  370. [4/2/2011 12:36:46 AM] James Cebulla: katelyn listen to me
  371. [4/2/2011 12:36:54 AM] James Cebulla: because
  372. [4/2/2011 12:36:59 AM] James Cebulla: you ha just broken up with me
  373. [4/2/2011 12:37:03 AM] James Cebulla: and you know I found it attractive when you told me that
  374. [4/2/2011 12:37:05 AM] James Cebulla: and the song t-shirt
  375. [4/2/2011 12:37:11 AM] James Cebulla: always always puts you in my head
  376. [4/2/2011 12:37:36 AM] James Cebulla: so why would you say that to me
  377. [4/2/2011 12:37:41 AM] James Cebulla: if you hated me and wanted other boys
  378. [4/2/2011 12:37:42 AM] James Cebulla: is what i thought
  379. [4/2/2011 12:37:43 AM] James Cebulla: to myself
  380. [4/2/2011 12:37:51 AM] James Cebulla: i told you to not tell me again
  381. [4/2/2011 12:37:51 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: james i want to sit next to you in the theater and hold your hand and cuddle with you on the floor of the Dorothy Quincy suite. i want to walk around boston with you, and sit at fire and ice with you
  382. [4/2/2011 12:37:57 AM] James Cebulla: because it gave me another sleepless night
  383. [4/2/2011 12:38:03 AM] James Cebulla: and could barely breathe
  384. [4/2/2011 12:38:07 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: i want to wrap my hands around yours as we wait to hear if we're moving on the new englands
  385. [4/2/2011 12:38:13 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: james i want to kiss you so badly right now
  386. [4/2/2011 12:39:03 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: it hurts in places that i didn't know exist. my toes ache, my stomach is in knots. my eyes are blurry as fuck. james. i want you. i want you, james. no one else. not jesse, not evan, not dan. no one else.
  387. [4/2/2011 12:39:24 AM] James Cebulla: i'm crying so hard right now
  388. [4/2/2011 12:39:26 AM] James Cebulla: hold on
  389. [4/2/2011 12:39:33 AM] James Cebulla: i can't even
  390. [4/2/2011 12:39:37 AM] James Cebulla: begin to breathe
  391. [4/2/2011 12:40:01 AM] James Cebulla: you, i dont even know
  392. [4/2/2011 12:40:06 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: i can't even begin to tell you how difficult it was to stay in my seat today.
  393. [4/2/2011 12:40:07 AM] James Cebulla: i can't stop crying katelyn
  394. [4/2/2011 12:40:15 AM] James Cebulla: at every
  395. [4/2/2011 12:40:16 AM] James Cebulla: single
  396. [4/2/2011 12:40:17 AM] James Cebulla: sad part
  397. [4/2/2011 12:40:19 AM] James Cebulla: in each one of those plays
  398. [4/2/2011 12:40:22 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: all i wanted to do was go up to you and kiss you passionately and tell you i want you
  399. [4/2/2011 12:40:26 AM] James Cebulla: i wanted to be with you and hold your hand
  400. [4/2/2011 12:40:27 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: and that i made a huge mistake
  401. [4/2/2011 12:40:29 AM] James Cebulla: and then turn over
  402. [4/2/2011 12:40:30 AM] James Cebulla: and not see lexie
  403. [4/2/2011 12:40:31 AM] James Cebulla: or lucy
  404. [4/2/2011 12:40:33 AM] James Cebulla: or molly reid
  405. [4/2/2011 12:40:34 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: and that i just want to cuddle with you
  406. [4/2/2011 12:40:38 AM] James Cebulla: i wanted to see you
  407. [4/2/2011 12:40:40 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: and that i don't wnat you with them
  408. [4/2/2011 12:40:42 AM] James Cebulla: and just feel your body heat
  409. [4/2/2011 12:40:43 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: i want you with me
  410. [4/2/2011 12:40:43 AM] James Cebulla: and be warm
  411. [4/2/2011 12:40:47 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: and i miss your smell
  412. [4/2/2011 12:40:47 AM] James Cebulla: and be comfortable
  413. [4/2/2011 12:40:50 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: i miss smelling you
  414. [4/2/2011 12:41:02 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: and knowing that you smell like..... right. your smell is the right smell for me.
  415. [4/2/2011 12:41:11 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: i just want you close to me. and hold me forever.
  416. [4/2/2011 12:41:13 AM] James Cebulla: i miss, your wonderfulo
  417. [4/2/2011 12:41:14 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: and not let me go
  418. [4/2/2011 12:41:15 AM] James Cebulla: beautiful eyes
  419. [4/2/2011 12:41:17 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: and not let me fall
  420. [4/2/2011 12:41:20 AM] James Cebulla: and i miss the smell of your hair, and how soft it is
  421. [4/2/2011 12:41:21 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: or be hurt anymore
  422. [4/2/2011 12:41:26 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: and lost
  423. [4/2/2011 12:41:26 AM] James Cebulla: and i miss how you would always be there for me
  424. [4/2/2011 12:41:27 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: and confused
  425. [4/2/2011 12:41:28 AM] James Cebulla: if i was ever confused
  426. [4/2/2011 12:41:30 AM] James Cebulla: about anything
  427. [4/2/2011 12:41:41 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: and not let me be a 'slimy cunt' to you ever, ever, ever again
  428. [4/2/2011 12:41:46 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: and tell me to shut the fuck up
  429. [4/2/2011 12:41:50 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: and laugh with you
  430. [4/2/2011 12:41:56 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: and make stains on your carpet
  431. [4/2/2011 12:41:59 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: and eat arugala
  432. [4/2/2011 12:42:01 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: and watch pirates
  433. [4/2/2011 12:42:05 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: and bring it on
  434. [4/2/2011 12:42:09 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: and the holiday
  435. [4/2/2011 12:42:14 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: and go to nantucket
  436. [4/2/2011 12:42:18 AM] James Cebulla: i'm crying so hard, i'm going tovomit
  437. [4/2/2011 12:42:21 AM] James Cebulla: but in a good way
  438. [4/2/2011 12:42:22 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: do you see how much you mean to me, james?
  439. [4/2/2011 12:42:30 AM] James Cebulla: katelyn what happened baby
  440. [4/2/2011 12:42:32 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: james, everything i think of has some relation to you
  441. [4/2/2011 12:42:33 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: james
  442. [4/2/2011 12:42:34 AM] James Cebulla: what the heck happened
  443. [4/2/2011 12:42:41 AM] James Cebulla: I hope you realize I havent gone a day without
  444. [4/2/2011 12:42:43 AM] James Cebulla: thinking about you
  445. [4/2/2011 12:42:45 AM] James Cebulla: in every classs
  446. [4/2/2011 12:42:46 AM] James Cebulla: every minute
  447. [4/2/2011 12:42:49 AM] James Cebulla: and musical rehersal
  448. [4/2/2011 12:42:51 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: i haven;t gone an hour
  449. [4/2/2011 12:42:52 AM] James Cebulla: was living hell
  450. [4/2/2011 12:42:53 AM] James Cebulla: to me
  451. [4/2/2011 12:42:53 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: a second
  452. [4/2/2011 12:43:01 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: i avoided the first week of rehearsal
  453. [4/2/2011 12:43:11 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: because i couldn't stand to look at you with all the other girls around you
  454. [4/2/2011 12:43:16 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: i couldn't do that to myself
  455. [4/2/2011 12:43:24 AM] James Cebulla: I don't want them around me
  456. [4/2/2011 12:43:25 AM] James Cebulla: they smell weird
  457. [4/2/2011 12:43:29 AM] James Cebulla: and they arent you
  458. [4/2/2011 12:43:29 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: MEREDITH
  459. [4/2/2011 12:43:31 AM] James Cebulla: and they arent comforting
  460. [4/2/2011 12:43:38 AM] James Cebulla: aghoien
  461. [4/2/2011 12:43:39 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: i just wanted to hold you today
  462. [4/2/2011 12:43:40 AM] James Cebulla: so
  463. [4/2/2011 12:43:40 AM] James Cebulla: many
  464. [4/2/2011 12:43:42 AM] James Cebulla: tears
  465. [4/2/2011 12:43:53 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: i can't even see what i'm writing
  466. [4/2/2011 12:43:54 AM] James Cebulla: i want to hug you and never let go katelyn
  467. [4/2/2011 12:43:57 AM] James Cebulla: i'm shaking so hard
  468. [4/2/2011 12:44:09 AM] James Cebulla: i acn't even
  469. [4/2/2011 12:44:14 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: james i want to see you tomorrow morning and kiss you
  470. [4/2/2011 12:44:18 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: and tell you im sorry
  471. [4/2/2011 12:44:25 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: and that i'm a stupid hormonal 17 year old
  472. [4/2/2011 12:44:27 AM] James Cebulla: I want to hug you
  473. [4/2/2011 12:44:29 AM] James Cebulla: and never
  474. [4/2/2011 12:44:30 AM] James Cebulla: ever
  475. [4/2/2011 12:44:31 AM] James Cebulla: let you go
  476. [4/2/2011 12:44:32 AM] James Cebulla: no matter
  477. [4/2/2011 12:44:32 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: who made so many mistakes in the past month
  478. [4/2/2011 12:44:34 AM] James Cebulla: what happens kate
  479. [4/2/2011 12:44:46 AM] James Cebulla: i just want you to be in my arms
  480. [4/2/2011 12:44:46 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: and i just want to undo so many things
  481. [4/2/2011 12:44:49 AM] James Cebulla: please, so much
  482. [4/2/2011 12:44:52 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: james i just want a movie night
  483. [4/2/2011 12:44:58 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: my eyes burn
  484. [4/2/2011 12:45:04 AM] James Cebulla: my whole body hurts
  485. [4/2/2011 12:45:13 AM] James Cebulla: every time we made eye contact
  486. [4/2/2011 12:45:14 AM] James Cebulla: i get this achy
  487. [4/2/2011 12:45:16 AM] James Cebulla: hot feeling inside
  488. [4/2/2011 12:45:18 AM] James Cebulla: and it wouldnt go away
  489. [4/2/2011 12:45:20 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: i haven't felt this depressed for years
  490. [4/2/2011 12:45:24 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: i can't stand it
  491. [4/2/2011 12:45:26 AM] James Cebulla: and everything in me wants you
  492. [4/2/2011 12:45:28 AM] James Cebulla: more than life itself aktelyn
  493. [4/2/2011 12:45:29 AM] James Cebulla: do you get that?
  494. [4/2/2011 12:45:31 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: i feel like i'm dying without you, james.
  495. [4/2/2011 12:45:33 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: and that's scary as fuck.
  496. [4/2/2011 12:45:35 AM] James Cebulla: You are legitimately my eveerythign
  497. [4/2/2011 12:46:33 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: i cried during 2 shows today. not because of the shows. but because they'd say something cute and i'd just think about how much i wanted you to say something cute to me
  498. [4/2/2011 12:46:43 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: and i'd look at you, nestled up against lexie, and have to look away
  499. [4/2/2011 12:46:54 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: and bury my sobbing head into alessandra and tara
  500. [4/2/2011 12:46:59 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: i couldn't bear it
  501. [4/2/2011 12:47:14 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: i got your button from you on the bus, and our hands touched. my entire body was on fire.
  502. [4/2/2011 12:47:21 AM] James Cebulla: i felt
  503. [4/2/2011 12:47:23 AM] James Cebulla: the hand touch
  504. [4/2/2011 12:47:24 AM] James Cebulla: i thought about it
  505. [4/2/2011 12:47:26 AM] James Cebulla: the entire ride
  506. [4/2/2011 12:47:26 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: i stumbled back to my seat and started crying again
  507. [4/2/2011 12:47:27 AM] James Cebulla: home
  508. [4/2/2011 12:47:28 AM] James Cebulla: katelyn
  509. [4/2/2011 12:47:32 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: it was horrifying
  510. [4/2/2011 12:47:34 AM] James Cebulla: i watched
  511. [4/2/2011 12:47:36 AM] James Cebulla: i felt the hand touch
  512. [4/2/2011 12:47:41 AM] James Cebulla: and i watched every other
  513. [4/2/2011 12:47:43 AM] James Cebulla: button you took
  514. [4/2/2011 12:47:45 AM] James Cebulla: and you never touched hands
  515. [4/2/2011 12:47:47 AM] James Cebulla: and i got that feeling inside
  516. [4/2/2011 12:47:50 AM] James Cebulla: that awful feeling
  517. [4/2/2011 12:47:53 AM] James Cebulla: like that feeling
  518. [4/2/2011 12:47:54 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: i didn't touch anyone else's hand
  519. [4/2/2011 12:47:55 AM] James Cebulla: about when i was little
  520. [4/2/2011 12:47:59 AM] James Cebulla: and i got on the bus to go tocamp
  521. [4/2/2011 12:48:01 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: i made sure no one touched where you touched
  522. [4/2/2011 12:48:02 AM] James Cebulla: but my mom took me off
  523. [4/2/2011 12:48:04 AM] James Cebulla: at the last minute
  524. [4/2/2011 12:48:14 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: weird, but i just kept touching where you had touched
  525. [4/2/2011 12:48:15 AM] James Cebulla: i got that feeling like i'm doing something im regretting for the rest of mylife
  526. [4/2/2011 12:48:26 AM] James Cebulla: and i missed you
  527. [4/2/2011 12:48:34 AM] James Cebulla: and there is nobody on this planet katelyn
  528. [4/2/2011 12:48:35 AM] James Cebulla: who is like you
  529. [4/2/2011 12:48:40 AM] James Cebulla: and who means to me what you do
  530. [4/2/2011 12:48:45 AM] James Cebulla: and i mean that to you in every possible way
  531. [4/2/2011 12:48:52 AM] James Cebulla: and i can barely type
  532. [4/2/2011 12:48:54 AM] James Cebulla: i'm crying so hard kate
  533. [4/2/2011 12:49:01 AM] James Cebulla: i've never even been like this in my whole life
  534. [4/2/2011 12:49:31 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: every time i saw you with a girl, i got so mad and jealous. which was bad, because i was the one who made the decision. and i felt guilty and upset with myself. with everything. and i couldn't bear to look at you
  535. [4/2/2011 12:49:45 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: i'd have to physically leave to be able to breathe again
  536. [4/2/2011 12:49:51 AM] James Cebulla: the onyl reason i did that
  537. [4/2/2011 12:49:56 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: every single time i left rehearsal, i looked over at you and had to turn away
  538. [4/2/2011 12:49:57 AM] James Cebulla: was because I knew that there was no way
  539. [4/2/2011 12:50:01 AM] James Cebulla: i could even
  540. [4/2/2011 12:50:05 AM] James Cebulla: stop thiknin about you
  541. [4/2/2011 12:50:09 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: every time i went in the hallway randomly was because you were with some other girl
  542. [4/2/2011 12:50:14 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: and i couldn't bear it
  543. [4/2/2011 12:50:16 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: i CAN'T bear it
  544. [4/2/2011 12:50:22 AM] James Cebulla: I don't like any of them
  545. [4/2/2011 12:50:25 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: i just want to hug you
  546. [4/2/2011 12:50:27 AM] James Cebulla: i dont like a SINGLE
  547. [4/2/2011 12:50:28 AM] James Cebulla: FUCKING
  548. [4/2/2011 12:50:29 AM] James Cebulla: ONE OF THE
  549. [4/2/2011 12:50:30 AM] James Cebulla: M
  550. [4/2/2011 12:50:32 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: and feel your hair brush my face
  551. [4/2/2011 12:50:34 AM] James Cebulla: i did that to try and gain
  552. [4/2/2011 12:50:38 AM] James Cebulla: some kind of foothold
  553. [4/2/2011 12:50:39 AM] James Cebulla: and try and sleep again
  554. [4/2/2011 12:50:41 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: and smell your body encompassing mine
  555. [4/2/2011 12:50:49 AM] James Cebulla: oh jesus christ kate.
  556. [4/2/2011 12:50:50 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: and hold your soft hands
  557. [4/2/2011 12:50:52 AM] James Cebulla: I want you so badly
  558. [4/2/2011 12:50:57 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: and kiss your lips
  559. [4/2/2011 12:51:02 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: and stroke your cheek
  560. [4/2/2011 12:51:05 AM] James Cebulla: your soft, wonderufl lips
  561. [4/2/2011 12:51:05 AM] James Cebulla: and you're the only person
  562. [4/2/2011 12:51:09 AM] James Cebulla: who smells good to me
  563. [4/2/2011 12:51:10 AM] James Cebulla: katelyn
  564. [4/2/2011 12:51:14 AM] James Cebulla: you are the only one
  565. [4/2/2011 12:51:14 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: and tell you that i love you down to every last freckle and random nipple
  566. [4/2/2011 12:51:15 AM] James Cebulla: not meredith
  567. [4/2/2011 12:51:17 AM] James Cebulla: not lexie
  568. [4/2/2011 12:51:29 AM] James Cebulla: not, fucking, anyone.
  569. [4/2/2011 12:51:36 AM] James Cebulla: i want to hold you for hours katelyn
  570. [4/2/2011 12:51:38 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: and that every second i haven't been with you has made me realize more and more that i made a mistake
  571. [4/2/2011 12:51:40 AM] James Cebulla: i dont want festival tommorow
  572. [4/2/2011 12:51:42 AM] James Cebulla: i want to hold you
  573. [4/2/2011 12:51:45 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: and i couldn't even tell anyone about it
  574. [4/2/2011 12:51:50 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: so i just sat here
  575. [4/2/2011 12:51:51 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: crying in my room
  576. [4/2/2011 12:51:53 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: not doing work
  577. [4/2/2011 12:51:56 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: not sleeping
  578. [4/2/2011 12:52:03 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: just crying
  579. [4/2/2011 12:52:07 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: and hating myself
  580. [4/2/2011 12:52:08 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: and my choices
  581. [4/2/2011 12:52:15 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: and drowning my sorrow in all the bad shit
  582. [4/2/2011 12:52:22 AM] James Cebulla: like what
  583. [4/2/2011 12:52:33 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: and denying the fact that i kept thinking about you
  584. [4/2/2011 12:52:40 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: and trying to think about other things
  585. [4/2/2011 12:52:46 AM] James Cebulla: katelyn
  586. [4/2/2011 12:52:48 AM] James Cebulla: when i saw you today
  587. [4/2/2011 12:52:51 AM] James Cebulla: at the table behind
  588. [4/2/2011 12:52:53 AM] James Cebulla: the scenes
  589. [4/2/2011 12:52:54 AM] James Cebulla: during our show
  590. [4/2/2011 12:52:58 AM] James Cebulla: I wanted to come up behind you
  591. [4/2/2011 12:53:06 AM] James Cebulla: and just run my hands up and down your back
  592. [4/2/2011 12:53:10 AM] James Cebulla: and just feel how nice and soft
  593. [4/2/2011 12:53:12 AM] James Cebulla: and warm you were
  594. [4/2/2011 12:53:12 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: i wanted you to come up behind me mor than anything
  595. [4/2/2011 12:53:13 AM] James Cebulla: just like we used to
  596. [4/2/2011 12:53:16 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: i wanted to walk over
  597. [4/2/2011 12:53:25 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: and run my hands all over your body
  598. [4/2/2011 12:53:28 AM] James Cebulla: and how we used to share our secret kisses
  599. [4/2/2011 12:53:29 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: and sit on your lap in the chair
  600. [4/2/2011 12:53:30 AM] James Cebulla: and avoid kimmie
  601. [4/2/2011 12:53:36 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: and not be with kimmie
  602. [4/2/2011 12:53:39 AM] James Cebulla: you make my whole body ache
  603. [4/2/2011 12:53:40 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: and hold you hand
  604. [4/2/2011 12:53:52 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: and kiss you before and after you went on stage
  605. [4/2/2011 12:54:17 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: and smile when you dropped my hand to go on stage, and then smile as you flashed your camera, and said your lines.
  606. [4/2/2011 12:54:25 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: i want to feel like a normal fucking person
  607. [4/2/2011 12:54:34 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: i don't want to be empty
  608. [4/2/2011 12:54:36 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: and alone
  609. [4/2/2011 12:54:41 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: i can't handle this anymore
  610. [4/2/2011 12:54:44 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: i just can't
  611. [4/2/2011 12:54:54 AM] James Cebulla: I want to love you and make you so happy katelyn
  612. [4/2/2011 12:54:59 AM] James Cebulla: and i want to give you your morals back
  613. [4/2/2011 12:55:00 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: i'm a mess, and for the longest time you were the one thing holding me together
  614. [4/2/2011 12:55:01 AM] James Cebulla: and i want to love you
  615. [4/2/2011 12:55:03 AM] James Cebulla: more than anything
  616. [4/2/2011 12:55:10 AM] James Cebulla: I want to keep you together
  617. [4/2/2011 12:55:12 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: after Snickers, you were legitimately the glue to the explosion of my life
  618. [4/2/2011 12:55:27 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: i can't handle her not being here, and you were the one thing that made me feel like it wasn't my fault
  619. [4/2/2011 12:55:38 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: you made me not think about how much i regretted with her
  620. [4/2/2011 12:55:38 AM] James Cebulla: it wasnt kate
  621. [4/2/2011 12:55:41 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: how much guilt i felt
  622. [4/2/2011 12:55:46 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: how i still feel that
  623. [4/2/2011 12:55:51 AM] James Cebulla: there was nothing to be guilty of katelyn
  624. [4/2/2011 12:55:53 AM] James Cebulla: i want to make you feel
  625. [4/2/2011 12:55:54 AM] James Cebulla: everyday
  626. [4/2/2011 12:55:56 AM] James Cebulla: that you are
  627. [4/2/2011 12:55:56 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: how if i had brought her to another doctor she would have been ok
  628. [4/2/2011 12:55:59 AM] James Cebulla: the most special person
  629. [4/2/2011 12:55:59 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: and you could have met her
  630. [4/2/2011 12:56:06 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: and she'd be beside me right now
  631. [4/2/2011 12:56:10 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: and i wouldn't sleep alone every night
  632. [4/2/2011 12:56:16 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: and hate my house, my family
  633. [4/2/2011 12:56:17 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: i hate them all
  634. [4/2/2011 12:56:21 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: they aren't home without her
  635. [4/2/2011 12:56:26 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: i'm not me without her
  636. [4/2/2011 12:56:34 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: and you were the one thing that made me see past all of that shit
  637. [4/2/2011 12:56:38 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: and now it's all i think about
  638. [4/2/2011 12:56:47 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: how i need to stop blaming me
  639. [4/2/2011 12:56:53 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: and start liking everyone again
  640. [4/2/2011 12:57:18 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: i can't live like this anymore. i don't want to spend my days not wanting to live without her. i want to make her proud
  641. [4/2/2011 12:57:19 AM] James Cebulla: I want you to feel
  642. [4/2/2011 12:57:22 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: i want her back
  643. [4/2/2011 12:57:23 AM] James Cebulla: like you're the most special
  644. [4/2/2011 12:57:24 AM] James Cebulla: person
  645. [4/2/2011 12:57:26 AM] James Cebulla: in the world
  646. [4/2/2011 12:57:31 AM] James Cebulla: and that you have done nothing wrong
  647. [4/2/2011 12:57:34 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: i don't want these tears streaming down my face anymore
  648. [4/2/2011 12:57:36 AM] James Cebulla: and you gave her the best life she couldve possibly had
  649. [4/2/2011 12:57:39 AM] James Cebulla: I'm sick
  650. [4/2/2011 12:57:41 AM] James Cebulla: of my achy feeling
  651. [4/2/2011 12:57:42 AM] James Cebulla: of being tired
  652. [4/2/2011 12:57:48 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: i want to cry while watching the holiday with you and sipping hot chocolate
  653. [4/2/2011 12:57:53 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: not crying here
  654. [4/2/2011 12:57:54 AM] James Cebulla: katelyn
  655. [4/2/2011 12:57:56 AM] James Cebulla: when i drove
  656. [4/2/2011 12:57:58 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: i want you to hold me and tell me i'm ok
  657. [4/2/2011 12:58:00 AM] James Cebulla: out of the lot with my dad
  658. [4/2/2011 12:58:02 AM] James Cebulla: i passed you
  659. [4/2/2011 12:58:07 AM] James Cebulla: walking and laughnig with alessandra
  660. [4/2/2011 12:58:08 AM] James Cebulla: or someone
  661. [4/2/2011 12:58:14 AM] James Cebulla: and I was so depressed that whole night
  662. [4/2/2011 12:58:16 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: i want to wear your green sweatshirt more than anything in the worl
  663. [4/2/2011 12:58:18 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: d
  664. [4/2/2011 12:58:18 AM] James Cebulla: because we made eye contact
  665. [4/2/2011 12:58:22 AM] James Cebulla: or maybe we even didnt
  666. [4/2/2011 12:58:22 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: i want to hold you
  667. [4/2/2011 12:58:23 AM] James Cebulla: but it felt like we did
  668. [4/2/2011 12:58:25 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: and kiss you
  669. [4/2/2011 12:58:25 AM] James Cebulla: and
  670. [4/2/2011 12:58:29 AM] James Cebulla: and i didnt eat that night
  671. [4/2/2011 12:58:31 AM] James Cebulla: and i didnt sleep
  672. [4/2/2011 12:58:32 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: and have you wipe away my tears
  673. [4/2/2011 12:58:33 AM] James Cebulla: and i sobbed
  674. [4/2/2011 12:58:37 AM] James Cebulla: and i want to make you
  675. [4/2/2011 12:58:39 AM] James Cebulla: so so happy
  676. [4/2/2011 12:58:42 AM] James Cebulla: and iwant to love you
  677. [4/2/2011 12:58:44 AM] James Cebulla: and kiss you
  678. [4/2/2011 12:58:45 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: and i want to tell you that you're amazing
  679. [4/2/2011 12:58:46 AM] James Cebulla: and never let you go
  680. [4/2/2011 12:58:54 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: and that you're the best 14-year-old i've ever met
  681. [4/2/2011 12:58:56 AM] James Cebulla: I want to tell you that you're incredible.
  682. [4/2/2011 12:59:04 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: and that no one will ever come in the way of me and you
  683. [4/2/2011 12:59:04 AM] James Cebulla: you're the only 17 year old that makes me feel comfortable
  684. [4/2/2011 12:59:08 AM] James Cebulla: like i dont have to impress anyone
  685. [4/2/2011 12:59:10 AM] James Cebulla: with how old i am
  686. [4/2/2011 12:59:16 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: and that i could spend every waking minute with you and not feel bad
  687. [4/2/2011 12:59:33 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: except when you blatantly say that you're uncomfortable with me during movie nights. that's just mean.
  688. [4/2/2011 12:59:40 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: but i want to snuggle with you
  689. [4/2/2011 12:59:44 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: and watch movies with you
  690. [4/2/2011 12:59:49 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: and legally drive you places now
  691. [4/2/2011 12:59:56 AM] James Cebulla: that was once, and i hadn't said anything for 3 hours
  692. [4/2/2011 12:59:59 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: and go to the beach
  693. [4/2/2011 1:00:03 AM] James Cebulla: i was just concerned about how you were
  694. [4/2/2011 1:00:05 AM] James Cebulla: i was comfy
  695. [4/2/2011 1:00:06 AM] James Cebulla: and warm
  696. [4/2/2011 1:00:09 AM] James Cebulla: just snuggled up next to you
  697. [4/2/2011 1:00:10 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: and squidgy our feet in the sand
  698. [4/2/2011 1:00:15 AM] James Cebulla: just being in your presence makes me
  699. [4/2/2011 1:00:16 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: and walk on the beach together
  700. [4/2/2011 1:00:17 AM] James Cebulla: so much happier
  701. [4/2/2011 1:00:19 AM] James Cebulla: than anything
  702. [4/2/2011 1:00:21 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: and spend spring weekends together
  703. [4/2/2011 1:00:28 AM] James Cebulla: and you don't touch my hair when I don't want you to
  704. [4/2/2011 1:00:30 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: and hang out after rehearsals are over
  705. [4/2/2011 1:00:31 AM] James Cebulla: which is a wonderful thing
  706. [4/2/2011 1:00:32 AM] James Cebulla: I want to do everything
  707. [4/2/2011 1:00:36 AM] James Cebulla: with you kate
  708. [4/2/2011 1:00:45 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: and i want to not have to feel all this pain all the time anymore
  709. [4/2/2011 1:00:52 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: i want to feel complete
  710. [4/2/2011 1:00:58 AM] James Cebulla: I want this depressing angst
  711. [4/2/2011 1:01:00 AM] James Cebulla: and crushign sadness
  712. [4/2/2011 1:01:02 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: and not like i'm just a suppermassive black hole any more
  713. [4/2/2011 1:01:04 AM] James Cebulla: and itching burning heat
  714. [4/2/2011 1:01:06 AM] James Cebulla: to end
  715. [4/2/2011 1:01:07 AM] James Cebulla: i want it all to end katelyn
  716. [4/2/2011 1:01:11 AM] James Cebulla: and I want
  717. [4/2/2011 1:01:12 AM] James Cebulla: to start again
  718. [4/2/2011 1:01:19 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: the only thing i want right now
  719. [4/2/2011 1:01:22 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: is you.
  720. [4/2/2011 1:01:26 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: you, james.
  721. [4/2/2011 1:01:29 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: not anyone else.
  722. [4/2/2011 1:01:38 AM] James Cebulla: I never stoppped wanting you
  723. [4/2/2011 1:01:39 AM] James Cebulla: katelyn
  724. [4/2/2011 1:01:40 AM] James Cebulla: kate
  725. [4/2/2011 1:01:40 AM] James Cebulla: baby
  726. [4/2/2011 1:01:43 AM] James Cebulla: you are
  727. [4/2/2011 1:01:45 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: you're all i've wanted. 24 hours of the day, 7 days of the week.
  728. [4/2/2011 1:01:46 AM] James Cebulla: my favorite person in the world
  729. [4/2/2011 1:02:00 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: every day without you has felt like my last day
  730. [4/2/2011 1:02:06 AM] James Cebulla: there was no drive
  731. [4/2/2011 1:02:09 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: i can't even bear it anymore
  732. [4/2/2011 1:02:10 AM] James Cebulla: for me to do anything
  733. [4/2/2011 1:02:13 AM] James Cebulla: without you kate
  734. [4/2/2011 1:02:15 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: i have lost all motivation
  735. [4/2/2011 1:02:18 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: i can't do this
  736. [4/2/2011 1:02:25 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: i just want to touch your hand again
  737. [4/2/2011 1:02:26 AM] James Cebulla: I want to give you your motivation back
  738. [4/2/2011 1:02:27 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: and get chills
  739. [4/2/2011 1:02:28 AM] James Cebulla: i just
  740. [4/2/2011 1:02:30 AM] James Cebulla: first thing
  741. [4/2/2011 1:02:31 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: like i always did
  742. [4/2/2011 1:02:32 AM] James Cebulla: i just want to squeeze you
  743. [4/2/2011 1:02:34 AM] James Cebulla: and never
  744. [4/2/2011 1:02:36 AM] James Cebulla: ever let go
  745. [4/2/2011 1:02:41 AM] James Cebulla: and just smell your smell
  746. [4/2/2011 1:02:42 AM] James Cebulla: your YOU smell
  747. [4/2/2011 1:02:50 AM] James Cebulla: and get the excitement i feel from touching you
  748. [4/2/2011 1:03:01 AM] James Cebulla: I want us back katelyn
  749. [4/2/2011 1:03:21 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: james i miss you
  750. [4/2/2011 1:03:29 AM] James Cebulla: Katelyn I need you in my life
  751. [4/2/2011 1:03:32 AM] James Cebulla: I can't deal with this
  752. [4/2/2011 1:03:47 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: i want to be with you in the halls
  753. [4/2/2011 1:04:09 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: and walk with you to class
  754. [4/2/2011 1:04:23 AM] James Cebulla: I miss you
  755. [4/2/2011 1:04:25 AM] James Cebulla: every day
  756. [4/2/2011 1:04:28 AM] James Cebulla: i miss how I could always see
  757. [4/2/2011 1:04:30 AM] James Cebulla: your wonderful
  758. [4/2/2011 1:04:32 AM] James Cebulla: inspiring face
  759. [4/2/2011 1:04:35 AM] James Cebulla: and hold hands with you
  760. [4/2/2011 1:04:39 AM] James Cebulla: even though i've never felt comfortable
  761. [4/2/2011 1:04:43 AM] James Cebulla: to hold hands with any girl
  762. [4/2/2011 1:04:44 AM] James Cebulla: in public
  763. [4/2/2011 1:04:50 AM] James Cebulla: you give me the confidence to
  764. [4/2/2011 1:04:53 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: i want to stop picking my nails because i'm so nervous and fidgety without you
  765. [4/2/2011 1:04:54 AM] James Cebulla: to do things katelyn
  766. [4/2/2011 1:04:59 AM] James Cebulla: every time i bit my nails
  767. [4/2/2011 1:05:03 AM] James Cebulla: I would always think
  768. [4/2/2011 1:05:06 AM] James Cebulla: katelyn wouldnt want me doing this
  769. [4/2/2011 1:05:12 AM] James Cebulla: but then i would remember, she's not here anymore
  770. [4/2/2011 1:05:13 AM] James Cebulla: and i would get that feeling
  771. [4/2/2011 1:05:20 AM] James Cebulla: and depres myself to sleep
  772. [4/2/2011 1:05:21 AM] James Cebulla: at 2 in the morning
  773. [4/2/2011 1:05:37 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: i want nothing more than to speed over to your house, burst through the door, run up the stairs and hug you right now
  774. [4/2/2011 1:06:02 AM] James Cebulla: oh god katelyn
  775. [4/2/2011 1:06:04 AM] James Cebulla: oh my god
  776. [4/2/2011 1:06:09 AM] James Cebulla: why didnt we just do this sooner
  777. [4/2/2011 1:06:13 AM] James Cebulla: why did we wait until now
  778. [4/2/2011 1:06:25 AM] James Cebulla: why the fuck couldn't I just man up and say I wanted you
  779. [4/2/2011 1:06:27 AM] James Cebulla: more than life itself
  780. [4/2/2011 1:07:14 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: that's what i was waiting for you to do. but it's quite a lot to ask of a 14 year old. and i don't want to pretend that you're 17. that's not fair. be young and free while you can. i'm an old bag, i don't want to make you age.
  781. [4/2/2011 1:07:34 AM] James Cebulla: BUT HOW COULD I SAY I WANTED YOU
  782. [4/2/2011 1:07:35 AM] James Cebulla: i thought you hated me
  783. [4/2/2011 1:07:39 AM] James Cebulla: I thought you didn't want me
  784. [4/2/2011 1:07:46 AM] James Cebulla: and i would just be a desperate fuck if i tried anything
  785. [4/2/2011 1:07:57 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: no you wouldn't
  786. [4/2/2011 1:08:06 AM] James Cebulla: i thought you would say
  787. [4/2/2011 1:08:07 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: honesty is the sexiest quality in a man
  788. [4/2/2011 1:08:08 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: for the record
  789. [4/2/2011 1:08:10 AM] James Cebulla: shut the fuck up freshman
  790. [4/2/2011 1:08:11 AM] James Cebulla: im busy with
  791. [4/2/2011 1:08:12 AM] James Cebulla: i dont know
  792. [4/2/2011 1:08:14 AM] James Cebulla: upperclassmen
  793. [4/2/2011 1:08:18 AM] James Cebulla: and im always honest with you
  794. [4/2/2011 1:08:23 AM] James Cebulla: even if it isn't relevant
  795. [4/2/2011 1:08:24 AM] James Cebulla: to anything
  796. [4/2/2011 1:08:26 AM] James Cebulla: i have never lied to you
  797. [4/2/2011 1:08:27 AM] James Cebulla: in my life
  798. [4/2/2011 1:08:29 AM] James Cebulla: about anything
  799. [4/2/2011 1:08:48 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: which is the best thing you could ever do
  800. [4/2/2011 1:08:52 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: and i thank you, for that
  801. [4/2/2011 1:08:58 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: i miss your big vocabulary
  802. [4/2/2011 1:09:10 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: and your drawings
  803. [4/2/2011 1:09:15 AM] James Cebulla: do you still have
  804. [4/2/2011 1:09:17 AM] James Cebulla: the drwaing i gave you
  805. [4/2/2011 1:09:22 AM] James Cebulla: of the lemon stand?
  806. [4/2/2011 1:09:41 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: i was in apush and almost cried. so i recycled it. then went to the bathroom for a good 20 minutes and proceeded to cry my eyes out.
  807. [4/2/2011 1:10:19 AM] James Cebulla: katelyn baby...
  808. [4/2/2011 1:10:22 AM] James Cebulla: I want to love you.
  809. [4/2/2011 1:10:24 AM] James Cebulla: so much
  810. [4/2/2011 1:10:27 AM] James Cebulla: I never want you to cry
  811. [4/2/2011 1:10:28 AM] James Cebulla: or be sad again
  812. [4/2/2011 1:10:56 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: james
  813. [4/2/2011 1:11:04 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: are you going to talk to me tomorrow?
  814. [4/2/2011 1:11:25 AM] James Cebulla: Katelyn i am going to spend my day with you tommorow
  815. [4/2/2011 1:11:27 AM] James Cebulla: first thing I see
  816. [4/2/2011 1:11:30 AM] James Cebulla: I want to hug you
  817. [4/2/2011 1:11:31 AM] James Cebulla: viciously
  818. [4/2/2011 1:11:33 AM] James Cebulla: i dont care
  819. [4/2/2011 1:11:34 AM] James Cebulla: i'm not letting go
  820. [4/2/2011 1:11:38 AM] James Cebulla: i dont give a flying fuckdoodle
  821. [4/2/2011 1:11:39 AM] James Cebulla: what anyone says
  822. [4/2/2011 1:11:42 AM] James Cebulla: you're my everything katelyn
  823. [4/2/2011 1:11:44 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: you better not let me go
  824. [4/2/2011 1:11:47 AM] James Cebulla: never again
  825. [4/2/2011 1:11:48 AM] James Cebulla: never again kate
  826. [4/2/2011 1:11:50 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: you better not
  827. [4/2/2011 1:11:53 AM] James Cebulla: I promise
  828. [4/2/2011 1:12:02 AM] James Cebulla: I promise so hard, on everything I can promise on
  829. [4/2/2011 1:12:18 AM] James Cebulla: I may even cry
  830. [4/2/2011 1:12:26 AM] James Cebulla: i never ever cry in front of people
  831. [4/2/2011 1:12:30 AM] James Cebulla: but I can't stand it
  832. [4/2/2011 1:12:33 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: you better not make my mascara run tomorrow
  833. [4/2/2011 1:12:39 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: or i'll have to reapply
  834. [4/2/2011 1:12:45 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: but you'll be next to me
  835. [4/2/2011 1:12:49 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: so i could be doing anything
  836. [4/2/2011 1:12:52 AM] James Cebulla: you're probably going to want to bring extra mascara
  837. [4/2/2011 1:12:56 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: as long as you're with me
  838. [4/2/2011 1:12:57 AM] James Cebulla: =)
  839. [4/2/2011 1:13:09 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: thank GOD i'm not wearing mascara right now
  840. [4/2/2011 1:13:10 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: i'd be swimming in it
  841. [4/2/2011 1:13:13 AM] James Cebulla: my eyeliner is
  842. [4/2/2011 1:13:17 AM] James Cebulla: everywhere
  843. [4/2/2011 1:13:19 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: oh lord
  844. [4/2/2011 1:13:23 AM] James Cebulla: i'm a hotmess
  845. [4/2/2011 1:13:25 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: 'guy'-liner, actually
  846. [4/2/2011 1:13:27 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: like at
  847. [4/2/2011 1:13:34 AM] James Cebulla: male eye-accompaniment
  848. [4/2/2011 1:13:35 AM] James Cebulla: s
  849. [4/2/2011 1:13:36 AM] James Cebulla: whateva!
  850. [4/2/2011 1:13:51 AM] James Cebulla: oh my god kate, you are my
  851. [4/2/2011 1:13:53 AM] James Cebulla: unbelievable
  852. [4/2/2011 1:13:56 AM] James Cebulla: everything
  853. [4/2/2011 1:13:56 AM] James Cebulla: all
  854. [4/2/2011 1:14:00 AM] James Cebulla: can just you and me
  855. [4/2/2011 1:14:02 AM] James Cebulla: spend the day together tommorow
  856. [4/2/2011 1:14:05 AM] James Cebulla: just us two
  857. [4/2/2011 1:14:09 AM] James Cebulla: with nobody else
  858. [4/2/2011 1:14:22 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: sup the population of boston? what's crackin? SUCKS.
  859. [4/2/2011 1:14:38 AM] James Cebulla: fuckers don't get none
  860. [4/2/2011 1:14:49 AM] James Cebulla: katelyn can I ask you a personal question?
  861. [4/2/2011 1:14:56 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: yeah
  862. [4/2/2011 1:15:03 AM] James Cebulla: did y ou ever get high?
  863. [4/2/2011 1:15:09 AM] James Cebulla: like, at all, this year
  864. [4/2/2011 1:15:09 AM] James Cebulla: have you ever tried it?
  865. [4/2/2011 1:15:15 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: yeah
  866. [4/2/2011 1:15:34 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: a large contributer to the fucked up shit i've been up to lately
  867. [4/2/2011 1:15:49 AM] James Cebulla: I kinda guessed as much
  868. [4/2/2011 1:15:55 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: and every time i did
  869. [4/2/2011 1:15:56 AM] James Cebulla: can you stop that immediately?
  870. [4/2/2011 1:16:04 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: i just thought about what you'd think of me
  871. [4/2/2011 1:16:11 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: and all the bad names you'd call me
  872. [4/2/2011 1:16:13 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: and relate me to lucy
  873. [4/2/2011 1:16:14 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: and everyone else
  874. [4/2/2011 1:16:22 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: and it just made it harder to stop
  875. [4/2/2011 1:16:39 AM] James Cebulla: how many times did you do it?
  876. [4/2/2011 1:16:50 AM] James Cebulla: i'll be 100% honest with you I heard it from erica that you did it in Irene
  877. [4/2/2011 1:16:53 AM] James Cebulla: and I was in shock
  878. [4/2/2011 1:16:56 AM] James Cebulla: I actually couldn't form words
  879. [4/2/2011 1:17:05 AM] James Cebulla: because that was one of the biggest things I loved about you
  880. [4/2/2011 1:17:09 AM] James Cebulla: was that you didn't do that
  881. [4/2/2011 1:17:18 AM] James Cebulla: you were better than everyone else
  882. [4/2/2011 1:17:18 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: my 3 frosh morals: sex, drugs, alcohol. broke all 3 this year.
  883. [4/2/2011 1:17:36 AM] James Cebulla: sex is hardly a moral
  884. [4/2/2011 1:17:40 AM] James Cebulla: i'd say it was worth it
  885. [4/2/2011 1:17:40 AM] James Cebulla: hah
  886. [4/2/2011 1:17:41 AM] James Cebulla: anyways
  887. [4/2/2011 1:17:44 AM] James Cebulla: on a more serious note
  888. [4/2/2011 1:17:48 AM] James Cebulla: when did you drink..
  889. [4/2/2011 1:17:51 AM] James Cebulla: ?
  890. [4/2/2011 1:17:58 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: i already told you about it
  891. [4/2/2011 1:18:00 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: i haven't for awhile
  892. [4/2/2011 1:18:20 AM] James Cebulla: when was the last time you got high?
  893. [4/2/2011 1:18:28 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: uhhh
  894. [4/2/2011 1:18:32 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: last week?
  895. [4/2/2011 1:18:42 AM] James Cebulla: was it as a result of uus splitting
  896. [4/2/2011 1:18:44 AM] James Cebulla: ?
  897. [4/2/2011 1:18:49 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: absolutely
  898. [4/2/2011 1:18:53 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: i needed to escape
  899. [4/2/2011 1:19:40 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: i legitimately was contemplating some pretty fucked up shit that i hadn't thought of for years. in 7th grade i was legit depressed and almost did something REALLY bad. and thoughts of that shit were slowly creeping back into my conscience
  900. [4/2/2011 1:20:20 AM] James Cebulla: can you tell me about it kate
  901. [4/2/2011 1:20:21 AM] James Cebulla: ?
  902. [4/2/2011 1:20:28 AM] James Cebulla: Or, do you not want to talk about it right now
  903. [4/2/2011 1:20:34 AM] James Cebulla: whichever you are more comfortable
  904. [4/2/2011 1:20:35 AM] James Cebulla: with
  905. [4/2/2011 1:20:36 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: i'd rather not talk about that right now
  906. [4/2/2011 1:20:46 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: it was awhile ago, though. 7th grade...
  907. [4/2/2011 1:20:55 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: but james
  908. [4/2/2011 1:20:59 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: we should probably head off to bed
  909. [4/2/2011 1:21:03 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: we have another long day tomorrow
  910. [4/2/2011 1:21:11 AM] James Cebulla: I hope it lasts
  911. [4/2/2011 1:21:12 AM] James Cebulla: for fucking
  912. [4/2/2011 1:21:13 AM] James Cebulla: ever
  913. [4/2/2011 1:21:16 AM] James Cebulla: because
  914. [4/2/2011 1:21:17 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: and shouldn't have bags under our eyes
  915. [4/2/2011 1:21:18 AM] James Cebulla: i am not letting go of you
  916. [4/2/2011 1:21:20 AM] James Cebulla: evera
  917. [4/2/2011 1:21:21 AM] James Cebulla: again
  918. [4/2/2011 1:21:25 AM] James Cebulla: hah, as if i could get rid of my bags
  919. [4/2/2011 1:21:26 AM] James Cebulla: theyre permanent
  920. [4/2/2011 1:21:28 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: you better not. you better in fucking HELL not
  921. [4/2/2011 1:21:30 AM] James Cebulla: from all the late night star-wars i read as a little boy
  922. [4/2/2011 1:21:38 AM] James Cebulla: never
  923. [4/2/2011 1:21:41 AM] James Cebulla: never ever
  924. [4/2/2011 1:21:42 AM] James Cebulla: ever
  925. [4/2/2011 1:21:42 AM] James Cebulla: eve
  926. [4/2/2011 1:21:43 AM] James Cebulla: rever
  927. [4/2/2011 1:21:44 AM] James Cebulla: letting go
  928. [4/2/2011 1:21:45 AM] James Cebulla: of you
  929. [4/2/2011 1:21:59 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: james, i'll see you tomorrow.
  930. [4/2/2011 1:22:10 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: and james, i'm sorry. i really do love you.
  931. [4/2/2011 1:22:19 AM] James Cebulla: I love you kate.
  932. [4/2/2011 1:22:21 AM] James Cebulla: I love you so much
  933. [4/2/2011 1:22:24 AM] James Cebulla: i havent stopped crying
  934. [4/2/2011 1:22:26 AM] James Cebulla: for the past
  935. [4/2/2011 1:22:31 AM] James Cebulla: two hours
  936. [4/2/2011 1:22:32 AM] James Cebulla: in case
  937. [4/2/2011 1:22:33 AM] James Cebulla: you wanted to know
  938. [4/2/2011 1:22:38 AM] James Cebulla: it's slightly de-masculating
  939. [4/2/2011 1:22:38 AM] James Cebulla: but
  940. [4/2/2011 1:22:39 AM] James Cebulla: i really
  941. [4/2/2011 1:22:41 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: yeah me either, love
  942. [4/2/2011 1:22:41 AM] James Cebulla: could care less
  943. [4/2/2011 1:22:49 AM] James Cebulla: I want you to be happy
  944. [4/2/2011 1:22:50 AM] James Cebulla: againa
  945. [4/2/2011 1:22:52 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: get some sleep, ok?
  946. [4/2/2011 1:22:53 AM] James Cebulla: and not do fucked up shit
  947. [4/2/2011 1:22:56 AM] James Cebulla: you tooo
  948. [4/2/2011 1:22:58 AM] James Cebulla: too*
  949. [4/2/2011 1:23:00 AM] James Cebulla: I love you kate.
  950. [4/2/2011 1:23:01 AM] James Cebulla: so so much
  951. [4/2/2011 1:23:08 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: i love you, too, james
  952. [4/2/2011 1:23:18 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: sweet dreams
  953. [4/2/2011 1:23:22 AM] James Cebulla: sleep tight baby
  954. [4/2/2011 1:23:26 AM] James Cebulla: don't let the bedbugs bite
  955. [4/2/2011 1:23:30 AM] James Cebulla: as gigi always says every night
  956. [4/2/2011 1:23:37 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: i'm glad she says that.
  957. [4/2/2011 1:23:42 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: it's a good thing to say.
  958. [4/2/2011 1:23:43 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: LP
  959. [4/2/2011 1:23:44 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: failure
  960. [4/2/2011 1:23:45 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: :P
  961. [4/2/2011 1:23:50 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: goodnight, mister.
  962. [4/2/2011 1:23:50 AM] James Cebulla: hahahahahaha
  963. [4/2/2011 1:23:53 AM] James Cebulla: I love you so much
  964. [4/2/2011 1:23:54 AM] James Cebulla: words can't discribe
  965. [4/2/2011 1:24:00 AM] James Cebulla: goodnight pretty girl
  966. [4/2/2011 1:24:02 AM] James Cebulla: sleep tight.
  967. [4/2/2011 1:24:06 AM] James Cebulla: <3
  968. [4/2/2011 1:24:09 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: <3
  969. [4/3/2011 5:41:42 PM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: here.
  970. [4/3/2011 5:42:09 PM] James Cebulla: hey
  971. [4/3/2011 5:42:10 PM] James Cebulla: hold on
  972. [4/3/2011 5:42:19 PM] *** James Cebulla sent semiformalinvite.jpg ***
  973. [4/3/2011 5:42:25 PM] James Cebulla: there t issss
  974. [4/3/2011 5:42:40 PM] James Cebulla: im editing it now though, need to touch up the fireworks, fill in the white guys hair, change 2014 to May 14th, and add more fish
  975. [4/3/2011 5:42:50 PM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: i like your multi-racial dancers
  976. [4/3/2011 5:43:21 PM] James Cebulla: hahaha, I thought i'd throw some metco in there
  977. [4/3/2011 5:43:24 PM] James Cebulla: evidently they liked it
  978. [4/3/2011 5:43:35 PM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: well congrats
  979. [4/3/2011 5:44:20 PM] James Cebulla: thank you!
  980. [4/3/2011 5:44:25 PM] James Cebulla: I thought it was pretty neat
  981. [4/3/2011 5:44:47 PM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: resume-worthy, to say the least
  982. [4/3/2011 5:44:58 PM] James Cebulla: I think it's going on there
  983. [4/3/2011 5:45:01 PM] James Cebulla: regardless of where I apply
  984. [4/3/2011 5:45:08 PM] James Cebulla: i designed the semi formal invite for freshman
  985. [4/3/2011 5:45:11 PM] James Cebulla: automatic harvard invite
  986. [4/3/2011 5:45:25 PM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: obvi
  987. [4/3/2011 5:47:14 PM] James Cebulla: lawlawl
  988. [4/3/2011 5:47:20 PM] James Cebulla: lexie drunk texted me last night
  989. [4/3/2011 5:47:28 PM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: i'm glad
  990. [4/3/2011 5:49:19 PM] James Cebulla: I can tell by your obvious enthusiasm
  991. [4/3/2011 5:49:24 PM] James Cebulla: she and jorge have some issues
  992. [4/3/2011 5:49:28 PM] James Cebulla: pretty weird shaaat
  993. [4/3/2011 5:49:52 PM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: true
  994. [4/3/2011 5:50:42 PM] James Cebulla: Do you have a lot of work tonight((think))
  995. [4/3/2011 5:50:45 PM] James Cebulla: ?*
  996. [4/3/2011 5:50:49 PM] James Cebulla: I didn't mean to do that weird face
  997. [4/3/2011 5:50:50 PM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: ha
  998. [4/3/2011 5:50:53 PM] James Cebulla: haha
  999. [4/3/2011 5:50:54 PM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: but no i don't have any
  1000. [4/3/2011 5:51:02 PM] James Cebulla: that's good, i'm glad to hear that
  1001. [4/3/2011 5:51:08 PM] James Cebulla: Are yougoing to go to bed at a good hour?
  1002. [4/3/2011 5:51:35 PM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: depends on what i'm doing
  1003. [4/3/2011 5:52:43 PM] James Cebulla: oh?
  1004. [4/3/2011 5:52:44 PM] James Cebulla: how so?
  1005. [4/3/2011 5:52:57 PM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: if i'm doing something fun/important, i won't go to sleep
  1006. [4/3/2011 5:53:01 PM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: like always
  1007. [4/3/2011 5:53:20 PM] James Cebulla: hahaha, typical..
  1008. [4/3/2011 5:53:24 PM] James Cebulla: Your liffe is a constant party
  1009. [4/3/2011 5:53:28 PM] James Cebulla: it makes sense
  1010. [4/3/2011 5:53:46 PM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: it's true
  1011. [4/3/2011 5:55:50 PM] James Cebulla: so what have you been up to all da
  1012. [4/3/2011 5:55:51 PM] James Cebulla: y
  1013. [4/3/2011 5:55:57 PM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: i got up
  1014. [4/3/2011 5:56:02 PM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: did some act practice tests
  1015. [4/3/2011 5:56:11 PM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: then went for a long run with sophie
  1016. [4/3/2011 5:56:17 PM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: came home, hung with her for a bit
  1017. [4/3/2011 5:56:24 PM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: chilled with kimbo and glenn jay
  1018. [4/3/2011 5:56:36 PM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: now i'm drawing and being artistic while listening to music
  1019. [4/3/2011 5:58:42 PM] James Cebulla: sounds like a wonderfully peaceful day
  1020. [4/3/2011 5:58:44 PM] James Cebulla: I envy you kate
  1021. [4/3/2011 5:58:56 PM] James Cebulla: when are the act's foy ou, how long was your run, and whatre you drawingg?
  1022. [4/3/2011 5:59:04 PM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: acts- next saturday
  1023. [4/3/2011 5:59:09 PM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: 4 mile run
  1024. [4/3/2011 5:59:15 PM] James Cebulla: daaaamn
  1025. [4/3/2011 5:59:16 PM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: drawing flowers, my favorite things to draw
  1026. [4/3/2011 5:59:33 PM] James Cebulla: really? why is that?
  1027. [4/3/2011 5:59:47 PM] James Cebulla: have you ever tried gardening at all?
  1028. [4/3/2011 5:59:55 PM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: yeah i garden in the summers with my mama
  1029. [4/3/2011 6:00:01 PM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: and we've been planting flowers since i was a little girl
  1030. [4/3/2011 6:00:27 PM] James Cebulla: that's actually reallly cool
  1031. [4/3/2011 6:00:30 PM] James Cebulla: do you have a garden at your house
  1032. [4/3/2011 6:00:33 PM] James Cebulla: or in nantucket, like summer hosue area
  1033. [4/3/2011 6:00:51 PM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: yeah i have a bunch of gardens, all around my yard encompassing my house
  1034. [4/3/2011 6:00:54 PM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: and on nantucket a lot
  1035. [4/3/2011 6:00:55 PM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: and in florida
  1036. [4/3/2011 6:01:20 PM] James Cebulla: in florida/
  1037. [4/3/2011 6:01:21 PM] James Cebulla: ?
  1038. [4/3/2011 6:01:24 PM] James Cebulla: When do you go to florida
  1039. [4/3/2011 6:01:29 PM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: yeah my cousins have a mansion in FL
  1040. [4/3/2011 6:01:29 PM] James Cebulla: and when it's nice out will you show me the gardens
  1041. [4/3/2011 6:01:29 PM] James Cebulla: ?
  1042. [4/3/2011 6:01:38 PM] James Cebulla: oh yeah yeah yeha, i remember you telling me about that
  1043. [4/3/2011 6:01:43 PM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: we usually go in april but we can't cause i'm going college hunting
  1044. [4/3/2011 6:01:54 PM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: and my gardens are already blooming
  1045. [4/3/2011 6:01:59 PM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: they're trying but it's too fucking cold
  1046. [4/3/2011 6:02:06 PM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: i love 75-80 degree days
  1047. [4/3/2011 6:02:09 PM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: best <3
  1048. [4/3/2011 6:02:20 PM] James Cebulla: yeah, those are my favorite days of summer, and I could see why theyre wonderful for you and your garden
  1049. [4/3/2011 6:02:26 PM] James Cebulla: fucknig, freak blizzard messing with nature
  1050. [4/3/2011 6:02:37 PM] James Cebulla: Could I see them when it's not so cold out and hteyre in full bloom?
  1051. [4/3/2011 6:02:50 PM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: yeah you just walk around my yard and see them all
  1052. [4/3/2011 6:03:34 PM] James Cebulla: That would be really cool
  1053. [4/3/2011 6:03:43 PM] James Cebulla: When my family goes to cape cod we spend hours taking pictures of flowers
  1054. [4/3/2011 6:03:44 PM] James Cebulla: that we find all over it
  1055. [4/3/2011 6:03:56 PM] James Cebulla: does your yard have crocuses?
  1056. [4/3/2011 6:03:58 PM] James Cebulla: I think i'm spelling that right
  1057. [4/3/2011 6:04:06 PM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: not sure
  1058. [4/3/2011 6:04:11 PM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: it depends on what we plant, too
  1059. [4/3/2011 6:05:07 PM] James Cebulla: mm, for my family, crocuses are the first sign of spring, when they sprout up
  1060. [4/3/2011 6:05:11 PM] James Cebulla: I love seeing them
  1061. [4/3/2011 6:05:17 PM] James Cebulla: What did you plant in your garden?
  1062. [4/3/2011 6:05:25 PM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: haven't planted any yet so far
  1063. [4/3/2011 6:05:33 PM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: just the annual ones are there
  1064. [4/3/2011 6:05:36 PM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: daffodils are up
  1065. [4/3/2011 6:07:07 PM] James Cebulla: Well that's good
  1066. [4/3/2011 6:07:10 PM] James Cebulla: Daffodils are always pleasant
  1067. [4/3/2011 6:07:17 PM] James Cebulla: What are you planning on planting
  1068. [4/3/2011 6:07:19 PM] James Cebulla: ?
  1069. [4/3/2011 6:07:27 PM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: no idea yet
  1070. [4/3/2011 6:07:31 PM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: that's sort of up to what mama buys
  1071. [4/3/2011 6:08:41 PM] James Cebulla: Kimberly is a trustworthy woman
  1072. [4/3/2011 6:08:45 PM] James Cebulla: do you ever go with her and input choices?\
  1073. [4/3/2011 6:08:57 PM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: yup
  1074. [4/3/2011 6:17:55 PM] James Cebulla: I have to go eat dinner
  1075. [4/3/2011 6:17:55 PM] James Cebulla: bbl
  1076. [4/3/2011 6:17:58 PM] James Cebulla: Love you
  1077. [4/4/2011 9:13:25 PM] James Cebulla: hi
  1078. [4/4/2011 9:15:14 PM] James Cebulla: yo
  1079. [4/4/2011 9:15:31 PM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: howdy
  1080. [4/4/2011 9:15:40 PM] James Cebulla: how was your shower
  1081. [4/4/2011 9:15:42 PM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: hows lol?
  1082. [4/4/2011 9:15:45 PM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: op
  1083. [4/4/2011 9:15:46 PM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: it was good
  1084. [4/4/2011 9:15:51 PM] James Cebulla: hahaha
  1085. [4/4/2011 9:15:54 PM] James Cebulla: LoL is wonderous
  1086. [4/4/2011 9:16:04 PM] James Cebulla: fun as usual
  1087. [4/4/2011 9:16:07 PM] James Cebulla: so, logistics
  1088. [4/4/2011 9:16:26 PM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: quite
  1089. [4/4/2011 9:16:27 PM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: yes yes
  1090. [4/4/2011 9:16:58 PM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: basically since this is take 2 for us, i feel like laying down the rules early is probably a good thing. in not a control-freak way like it just sounded. fuck. but you know what i mean. or if not, speak up.
  1091. [4/4/2011 9:17:33 PM] James Cebulla: yeah
  1092. [4/4/2011 9:17:38 PM] James Cebulla: like, so nothing fuckerish happens
  1093. [4/4/2011 9:17:38 PM] James Cebulla: and everything is good
  1094. [4/4/2011 9:17:41 PM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: yup
  1095. [4/4/2011 9:17:41 PM] James Cebulla: and layed out
  1096. [4/4/2011 9:17:55 PM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: so, if i may, i'd like to propose a blueprint of whatever this is
  1097. [4/4/2011 9:17:58 PM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: sound reasonable?
  1098. [4/4/2011 9:18:04 PM] James Cebulla: sounds wonderful
  1099. [4/4/2011 9:18:07 PM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: lovely
  1100. [4/4/2011 9:18:43 PM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: ok. so, as of now (and these can always change. but i feel like starting with a clear baseline is better than doing what i did before. which was nothing.)
  1101. [4/4/2011 9:18:51 PM] James Cebulla: yeah
  1102. [4/4/2011 9:18:56 PM] James Cebulla: we need to make sure
  1103. [4/4/2011 9:18:57 PM] James Cebulla: we're both cleaer
  1104. [4/4/2011 9:18:59 PM] James Cebulla: and what we are
  1105. [4/4/2011 9:19:01 PM] James Cebulla: what we're doing
  1106. [4/4/2011 9:19:01 PM] James Cebulla: and how we do it
  1107. [4/4/2011 9:19:12 PM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: yes
  1108. [4/4/2011 9:19:16 PM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: so if you let me, i'll proceed
  1109. [4/4/2011 9:19:16 PM] James Cebulla: so, your blueprint.
  1110. [4/4/2011 9:19:18 PM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: quite
  1111. [4/4/2011 9:19:19 PM] James Cebulla: hahaha sorry
  1112. [4/4/2011 9:19:21 PM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: alright
  1113. [4/4/2011 9:19:22 PM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: so here it goes
  1114. [4/4/2011 9:21:42 PM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: i feel like for a bit we should lay low, and not be all pda and shit. because no one likes that. and i'm still figuring a lot of stuff out on my own right now, and i don't think that being in a relationship is a good idea for me. right now, at least. i think that hooking up is fine... and friendship is the most important. because honestly, all of the things that we described on why we missed each other weren't the physical things. they were all the emotional things. and i feel like we're perfectly capable of the physical things (because, let's face it, we're both really horny right now and could fuck anything that walks), but it's the emotional things that we're gonna have to work at. but so if we take things slow, not tell people that we're together or any of that shit, and just be happy, that's the best starting line i can think of. thoughts?
  1115. [4/4/2011 9:23:10 PM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: questions? comments? complaints? SPEAK, CHILD. now's the time to speak!
  1116. [4/4/2011 9:23:12 PM] James Cebulla: sorry , was still reading
  1117. [4/4/2011 9:23:13 PM] James Cebulla: hhahahahah
  1118. [4/4/2011 9:23:17 PM] James Cebulla: i like it alot actually
  1119. [4/4/2011 9:23:29 PM] James Cebulla: to me, it makes a lot of sense, every point you listed is 100% valid
  1120. [4/4/2011 9:23:33 PM] James Cebulla: I dont really see anything I would change
  1121. [4/4/2011 9:23:44 PM] James Cebulla: i think it's 100% fine to lay low and figure shit out
  1122. [4/4/2011 9:23:47 PM] James Cebulla: i agree with the hornhy as fuck thing
  1123. [4/4/2011 9:23:52 PM] James Cebulla: i see nothing wrong with this blueprint
  1124. [4/4/2011 9:24:01 PM] James Cebulla: if it needs further revision later
  1125. [4/4/2011 9:24:02 PM] James Cebulla: we can change
  1126. [4/4/2011 9:24:03 PM] James Cebulla: it
  1127. [4/4/2011 9:24:05 PM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: yup
  1128. [4/4/2011 9:24:28 PM] James Cebulla: we can still hug in public though right
  1129. [4/4/2011 9:24:30 PM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: but i feel like besties + sex will be fun, but not as binding
  1130. [4/4/2011 9:24:38 PM] James Cebulla: yeah
  1131. [4/4/2011 9:24:40 PM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: HUGGING = the best form of pda
  1132. [4/4/2011 9:24:46 PM] James Cebulla: there are too many obligations involved with a relationship
  1133. [4/4/2011 9:24:47 PM] James Cebulla: especially with us
  1134. [4/4/2011 9:24:49 PM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: you better hug me a lot
  1135. [4/4/2011 9:24:50 PM] James Cebulla: and our turmoils
  1136. [4/4/2011 9:24:52 PM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: yeah
  1137. [4/4/2011 9:24:55 PM] James Cebulla: hahaha, there's nothing I would rather do more
  1138. [4/4/2011 9:25:02 PM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: freshman + junior = complex as FUCK
  1139. [4/4/2011 9:25:34 PM] James Cebulla: agreed hahah
  1140. [4/4/2011 9:25:46 PM] James Cebulla: and
  1141. [4/4/2011 9:25:54 PM] James Cebulla: it worked really nicely when we just stayed super physical, but didn't relationship
  1142. [4/4/2011 9:26:03 PM] James Cebulla: i mean, but I still enjoy being around you
  1143. [4/4/2011 9:26:04 PM] James Cebulla: and talking to you
  1144. [4/4/2011 9:26:10 PM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: yeah
  1145. [4/4/2011 9:26:15 PM] James Cebulla: like i dont wana just be lips and a dick
  1146. [4/4/2011 9:26:19 PM] James Cebulla: and you're not just boobs and a vagina
  1147. [4/4/2011 9:26:23 PM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: yeah
  1148. [4/4/2011 9:26:29 PM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: i mean, hooking up is dandy
  1149. [4/4/2011 9:26:31 PM] James Cebulla: but keep it mostly private
  1150. [4/4/2011 9:26:33 PM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: and you're a swell guy
  1151. [4/4/2011 9:26:41 PM] James Cebulla: what's our buisness is our buisness
  1152. [4/4/2011 9:26:44 PM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: but i feel like we're both sort of ready to move on, in a way
  1153. [4/4/2011 9:26:47 PM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: but yeah
  1154. [4/4/2011 9:26:58 PM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: we don't need other people's opinions, ok? don't forget that.
  1155. [4/4/2011 9:27:01 PM] James Cebulla: yeah
  1156. [4/4/2011 9:27:03 PM] James Cebulla: 100%
  1157. [4/4/2011 9:27:06 PM] James Cebulla: thats what happened last time
  1158. [4/4/2011 9:27:08 PM] James Cebulla: it still is happening to me
  1159. [4/4/2011 9:27:12 PM] James Cebulla: but i'm not listening to one bit
  1160. [4/4/2011 9:27:15 PM] James Cebulla: of it
  1161. [4/4/2011 9:27:19 PM] James Cebulla: without proper
  1162. [4/4/2011 9:27:20 PM] James Cebulla: consideration
  1163. [4/4/2011 9:27:54 PM] James Cebulla: it's your opinion
  1164. [4/4/2011 9:27:54 PM] James Cebulla: and mine
  1165. [4/4/2011 9:27:56 PM] James Cebulla: combined
  1166. [4/4/2011 9:27:58 PM] James Cebulla: that formulate decisions
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