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- [3/30/2011 10:10:55 PM] James Cebulla: what phase...?
- [3/30/2011 10:11:21 PM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: the phase of my fucked up 17-year-old confused life
- [3/30/2011 10:11:50 PM] James Cebulla: Drink some juice, and have some oreos while sitting at a bar stool
- [3/30/2011 10:11:52 PM] James Cebulla: always helps me
- [3/30/2011 10:11:55 PM] James Cebulla: why is your life fucked up
- [3/30/2011 10:11:59 PM] James Cebulla: it seems perfectly fine to me.
- [3/30/2011 10:12:02 PM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: hahahaha
- [3/30/2011 10:12:38 PM] James Cebulla: nothing should be confusing for you, stressful, yes, i've been talking to lexiem and she's stressed up to her eyeballs with work
- [3/30/2011 10:12:46 PM] James Cebulla: but confused, no.
- [3/30/2011 10:13:07 PM] James Cebulla: you're a mom anyways
- [3/30/2011 10:13:10 PM] James Cebulla: you don't GET confused.
- [3/30/2011 10:13:51 PM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: i'm a divorced, alcoholic, drug-addicted, single mother of approximately 2 hypothetical children
- [3/30/2011 10:13:57 PM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: (ok, false. but it sounded appropriate)
- [3/30/2011 10:14:18 PM] James Cebulla: since when are you drug addicted fool, unless you mean advil, and you have no children.
- [3/30/2011 10:14:28 PM] James Cebulla: Divorcing should be easy since it was you who divorced
- [3/30/2011 10:14:32 PM] James Cebulla: that trouble is on my side
- [3/30/2011 10:14:37 PM] James Cebulla: so, you're not an alcoholic
- [3/30/2011 10:14:38 PM] James Cebulla: because you have a brain
- [3/30/2011 10:14:50 PM] James Cebulla: single is the only true part of that sentence
- [3/30/2011 10:15:17 PM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: well you said im a mother
- [3/30/2011 10:15:21 PM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: therefore i have children
- [3/30/2011 10:15:24 PM] James Cebulla: you are like a mother
- [3/30/2011 10:15:25 PM] James Cebulla: in terms of
- [3/30/2011 10:15:27 PM] James Cebulla: how you act
- [3/30/2011 10:15:31 PM] James Cebulla: you don't have any children any more.
- [3/30/2011 10:15:34 PM] James Cebulla: they are all gone.
- [3/30/2011 10:15:48 PM] James Cebulla: I was your child, and since I am now gone, you therefore have no children
- [3/30/2011 10:16:27 PM] James Cebulla: you don't do drugs
- [3/30/2011 10:16:28 PM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: well, you're right here
- [3/30/2011 10:16:28 PM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: so debatable
- [3/30/2011 10:16:30 PM] James Cebulla: and you're not old enough to drink
- [3/30/2011 10:16:33 PM] James Cebulla: but i'm not your child anymore
- [3/30/2011 10:16:37 PM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: you still use my chapstick
- [3/30/2011 10:16:44 PM] James Cebulla: my lips get chapped.
- [3/30/2011 10:16:47 PM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: and i have like a million kids
- [3/30/2011 10:16:56 PM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: all the kids i babysit = ~5
- [3/30/2011 10:17:06 PM] James Cebulla: babysitter =/= mothet
- [3/30/2011 10:17:09 PM] James Cebulla: mother*
- [3/30/2011 10:17:11 PM] James Cebulla: but fine.
- [3/30/2011 10:17:14 PM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: i mother the haley girl
- [3/30/2011 10:17:17 PM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: s
- [3/30/2011 10:17:18 PM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: and others
- [3/30/2011 10:17:19 PM] James Cebulla: debatable, but fine.
- [3/30/2011 10:17:23 PM] James Cebulla: theyre as old as you
- [3/30/2011 10:17:27 PM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: ok. i'm unimportant. cool.
- [3/30/2011 10:17:31 PM] James Cebulla: you're a colleague in a time of need.
- [3/30/2011 10:17:35 PM] James Cebulla: I'm not saying you're unimportant
- [3/30/2011 10:17:38 PM] James Cebulla: don't twist my words
- [3/30/2011 10:17:42 PM] James Cebulla: I'm saying you are a debatable mother
- [3/30/2011 10:17:47 PM] James Cebulla: and you are over-exaggreting your problems
- [3/30/2011 10:17:51 PM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: i am a maternal young adult
- [3/30/2011 10:18:03 PM] James Cebulla: agreed.
- [3/30/2011 10:18:33 PM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: for the record, every time i see kate silverberg, i laugh.
- [3/30/2011 10:18:44 PM] James Cebulla: silberberg*
- [3/30/2011 10:18:50 PM] James Cebulla: is it her hunchback?
- [3/30/2011 10:18:59 PM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: she seems like a respectable, presentable, young girl
- [3/30/2011 10:19:05 PM] James Cebulla: I would hope so
- [3/30/2011 10:19:12 PM] James Cebulla: she sends bad one word texts
- [3/30/2011 10:19:16 PM] James Cebulla: and that is about it
- [3/30/2011 10:19:21 PM] James Cebulla: i am pleasantly social with her
- [3/30/2011 10:19:22 PM] James Cebulla: how are you connected
- [3/30/2011 10:19:50 PM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: "we should get together."
- [3/30/2011 10:20:03 PM] James Cebulla: oh, yeah.
- [3/30/2011 10:20:08 PM] James Cebulla: pretty funny
- [3/30/2011 10:20:11 PM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: i laugh
- [3/30/2011 10:20:12 PM] James Cebulla: she thought we would be good together
- [3/30/2011 10:20:15 PM] James Cebulla: when i was with you
- [3/30/2011 10:20:20 PM] James Cebulla: i wouldve disagreed regardless
- [3/30/2011 10:20:24 PM] James Cebulla: beause i really do not talk to her
- [3/30/2011 10:20:29 PM] James Cebulla: and she is not personally very attractive
- [3/30/2011 10:20:30 PM] James Cebulla: while nice.
- [3/30/2011 10:20:48 PM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: i'm wearing alex's pajama pants. they have red dice on them with smiles.
- [3/30/2011 10:21:10 PM] James Cebulla: neato mosquito
- [3/30/2011 10:21:13 PM] James Cebulla: i hope they are warm and comfy
- [3/30/2011 10:21:25 PM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: not really
- [3/30/2011 10:21:29 PM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: i just put on my slippers
- [3/30/2011 10:21:31 PM] James Cebulla: then switch pants fool
- [3/30/2011 10:21:36 PM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: i could
- [3/30/2011 10:21:45 PM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: but i don't sleep with pants so it's not even worth it
- [3/30/2011 10:22:00 PM] James Cebulla: then why do you have pants on in the first place?
- [3/30/2011 10:22:03 PM] James Cebulla: are you in bed?
- [3/30/2011 10:22:09 PM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: nah at my desk right now
- [3/30/2011 10:22:23 PM] James Cebulla: oh, okay.
- [3/30/2011 10:22:34 PM] James Cebulla: Glad you let me know you were wearing my shirt under your massive cream colored sweater
- [3/30/2011 10:22:42 PM] James Cebulla: yesterday
- [3/30/2011 10:22:43 PM] James Cebulla: or something
- [3/30/2011 10:22:46 PM] James Cebulla: three days ago
- [3/30/2011 10:22:50 PM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: yesterday
- [3/30/2011 10:23:29 PM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: 'glad' ?
- [3/30/2011 10:23:47 PM] James Cebulla: sarcastically glad
- [3/30/2011 10:23:54 PM] James Cebulla: it was an unnecessary comment in my opinion
- [3/30/2011 10:24:00 PM] James Cebulla: i should've said neutral
- [3/30/2011 10:24:07 PM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: well then
- [3/30/2011 10:24:07 PM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: apologies
- [3/30/2011 10:24:21 PM] James Cebulla: If you choose to wear it please do not tell me
- [3/30/2011 10:24:47 PM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: i won't wear it again, i'll bring it back once i wash it
- [3/30/2011 10:25:52 PM] James Cebulla: what does exsclusively dating mean
- [3/30/2011 10:28:59 PM] James Cebulla: .
- [3/30/2011 10:33:21 PM] James Cebulla: or not...
- [4/1/2011 11:55:28 PM] James Cebulla: hi
- [4/1/2011 11:56:01 PM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: well met, well met
- [4/1/2011 11:56:15 PM] James Cebulla: that's what orcs say in WoW
- [4/1/2011 11:56:24 PM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: fuck yes
- [4/1/2011 11:56:30 PM] James Cebulla: yeah.
- [4/1/2011 11:56:39 PM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: you told me to go on skype. so here i am.
- [4/1/2011 11:56:49 PM] James Cebulla: its easier than txting
- [4/1/2011 11:56:54 PM] James Cebulla: why the sudden apology
- [4/1/2011 11:57:00 PM] James Cebulla: as opposed to the apathy beforehand
- [4/1/2011 11:57:05 PM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: well
- [4/1/2011 11:57:08 PM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: i had a breakdown today
- [4/1/2011 11:57:14 PM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: in the middle of a show it was nbd
- [4/1/2011 11:57:17 PM] James Cebulla: really now, tell me about it.
- [4/1/2011 11:57:22 PM] James Cebulla: I'm all ears kate.
- [4/1/2011 11:57:32 PM] James Cebulla: genuinely.
- [4/1/2011 11:58:38 PM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: well. basically i hate who i've become as of late. like, HATE it. i'm not me. and if i'm me, then i'm very different. like, it's hard to explain, i suppose. but i'm just really fickle and... conceited, i suppose.
- [4/1/2011 11:59:05 PM] James Cebulla: well, i'll be honest, I have noticed some changes since this fall when I met you
- [4/1/2011 11:59:06 PM] James Cebulla: that is for sure.
- [4/1/2011 11:59:15 PM] James Cebulla: what specifically do you hate about yourself
- [4/1/2011 11:59:29 PM] James Cebulla: because to me, you seemed like you were doing just fine on the outside
- [4/2/2011 12:00:34 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: i don't know. i think it's more of a change since i've been in high school. like, when i was a freshman i had really strict morals and stuff. and there were like 3 specific things that i was against. and i had my friends, and then i had the rest of the school. i've basically lost all of my morals, and just resorted to acting like i'm fine all of the time instead of facing my problems.
- [4/2/2011 12:01:07 AM] James Cebulla: what problems have you been dodging
- [4/2/2011 12:01:16 AM] James Cebulla: I agree I have noticed a change in additude since even just this fall
- [4/2/2011 12:01:19 AM] James Cebulla: to be honest with you.
- [4/2/2011 12:01:25 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: such as... ?
- [4/2/2011 12:01:33 AM] James Cebulla: you're just
- [4/2/2011 12:01:35 AM] James Cebulla: idk different
- [4/2/2011 12:01:46 AM] James Cebulla: you act cooler, like a "cool" kid
- [4/2/2011 12:01:51 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: ew.
- [4/2/2011 12:01:52 AM] James Cebulla: so to speak
- [4/2/2011 12:01:58 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: i just feel really.... i don't know. sad. empty.
- [4/2/2011 12:02:03 AM] James Cebulla: you're more aggressive
- [4/2/2011 12:02:04 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: that's so fucking depressing wtf
- [4/2/2011 12:02:09 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: yeah
- [4/2/2011 12:02:10 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: i hate that
- [4/2/2011 12:02:11 AM] James Cebulla: it's very depressing
- [4/2/2011 12:02:19 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: i cry ALL THE TIME now
- [4/2/2011 12:02:30 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: and i have no motivation
- [4/2/2011 12:02:35 AM] James Cebulla: i was about to say
- [4/2/2011 12:02:37 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: i just don't give a fuck
- [4/2/2011 12:02:37 AM] James Cebulla: there should be no tears
- [4/2/2011 12:02:44 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: but i can't stop crying
- [4/2/2011 12:02:45 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: like, i always am
- [4/2/2011 12:02:59 AM] James Cebulla: well then we need to find the root of the problem
- [4/2/2011 12:03:01 AM] James Cebulla: and eradicate it
- [4/2/2011 12:03:05 AM] James Cebulla: to stop the tears
- [4/2/2011 12:03:22 AM] James Cebulla: because as much as i disagree with your choice of actions regarding me, and your life as of late, I do not want to see you like this.
- [4/2/2011 12:03:56 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: while i admit you are a youngster (mere fact), i also admit that you brought back my morals. i miss that.
- [4/2/2011 12:04:21 AM] James Cebulla: this is true, because you could mother me
- [4/2/2011 12:04:22 AM] James Cebulla: and as a part of that
- [4/2/2011 12:04:27 AM] James Cebulla: you consistently shut me down
- [4/2/2011 12:04:31 AM] James Cebulla: and didn't let me be who i wanted to be
- [4/2/2011 12:04:38 AM] James Cebulla: i couldn't say anything without you calling me stupid
- [4/2/2011 12:04:41 AM] James Cebulla: or, un-knowledgeable
- [4/2/2011 12:04:50 AM] James Cebulla: or just plain dumb
- [4/2/2011 12:04:58 AM] James Cebulla: because you thought of me as your complete inferior by age
- [4/2/2011 12:05:22 AM] James Cebulla: that is what happened from my perspective
- [4/2/2011 12:05:23 AM] James Cebulla: at least
- [4/2/2011 12:06:44 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: but the thing is i didn't. and i never did. and i still don't. age is something that i find inferior to other factors. especially in theater company. i mean, there's a lot of 'frosh' jokes and such, but when it all comes down to it, age doesn't matter. the fact that i make jokes like that and stuff means that i'm comfortable with you. i'm a really sarcastic person (if you haven't figured that out yet, then i just come off as a bitch), and me being completely fine and boundary-less with you was mere comfort.
- [4/2/2011 12:07:08 AM] James Cebulla: I mean i'm aware of it
- [4/2/2011 12:07:13 AM] James Cebulla: and i laughed it off most of the time
- [4/2/2011 12:07:16 AM] James Cebulla: because i usually understood that
- [4/2/2011 12:07:26 AM] James Cebulla: but then when you started flirting outrageously with the older, more mature festival guys
- [4/2/2011 12:07:28 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: but you should have fucking told me if you didn't feel alright with everything
- [4/2/2011 12:07:31 AM] James Cebulla: it really threw me off, so to speak
- [4/2/2011 12:07:54 AM] James Cebulla: well, i thought you would just yell at more some more and tell me to stop being a cunt
- [4/2/2011 12:07:54 AM] James Cebulla: so i didn't
- [4/2/2011 12:08:15 AM] James Cebulla: which is what usually happened
- [4/2/2011 12:08:31 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: for the record, i hardly even had a chance to talk to you at fest. so i think that's a little unfair to say that.
- [4/2/2011 12:08:42 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: because you said i was constantly degrading you
- [4/2/2011 12:09:10 AM] James Cebulla: you didn't degrade me at festival
- [4/2/2011 12:09:18 AM] James Cebulla: but I felt like the whole time you were avoiding me
- [4/2/2011 12:09:42 AM] James Cebulla: and, the whole tec rehersals
- [4/2/2011 12:09:52 AM] James Cebulla: I mean, I saw people legitimately like rubbing their hands up and down your thighs
- [4/2/2011 12:09:55 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: ... you were there for one tech
- [4/2/2011 12:09:58 AM] James Cebulla: and you just takin it like a champ
- [4/2/2011 12:10:02 AM] James Cebulla: i was there for multiple
- [4/2/2011 12:10:03 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: he hit me! wtf
- [4/2/2011 12:10:27 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: and as sm i'm supposed to be welcoming. i was talking to a cripple, for gosh darn's sake
- [4/2/2011 12:10:47 AM] James Cebulla: alright, relax, i'm totally calm now, don't get mad.
- [4/2/2011 12:10:53 AM] James Cebulla: i'm just voicing how it made me feel
- [4/2/2011 12:10:54 AM] James Cebulla: okay?
- [4/2/2011 12:10:58 AM] James Cebulla: Should i not?
- [4/2/2011 12:11:01 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: no it's fine
- [4/2/2011 12:11:09 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: i don't want you to feel the need to censor yourself
- [4/2/2011 12:11:16 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: because i don't
- [4/2/2011 12:11:18 AM] James Cebulla: I don't even know how to describe
- [4/2/2011 12:11:28 AM] James Cebulla: like, I felt like I just wasn't good enough for you
- [4/2/2011 12:11:28 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: do you not want to talk to me?
- [4/2/2011 12:11:33 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: because i don't need to stay right now
- [4/2/2011 12:11:36 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: if you don't want
- [4/2/2011 12:11:40 AM] James Cebulla: I do, but at the same time, I don't.
- [4/2/2011 12:11:42 AM] James Cebulla: i mean
- [4/2/2011 12:11:46 AM] James Cebulla: when you said to me
- [4/2/2011 12:11:58 AM] James Cebulla: that like, you were sorry for leading me on, and didnt think we were in a relationship
- [4/2/2011 12:12:02 AM] James Cebulla: that was a little odd
- [4/2/2011 12:12:09 AM] James Cebulla: and, made me feel like a poop
- [4/2/2011 12:12:24 AM] James Cebulla: and then immediately after, you were just all over them festival boys. FROM MY POV
- [4/2/2011 12:12:32 AM] James Cebulla: and I asked you to try and justify
- [4/2/2011 12:12:33 AM] James Cebulla: so i could sleep
- [4/2/2011 12:12:38 AM] James Cebulla: because I actually could not
- [4/2/2011 12:12:41 AM] James Cebulla: close my eyes at night
- [4/2/2011 12:12:45 AM] James Cebulla: and you just left
- [4/2/2011 12:12:47 AM] James Cebulla: and that was a little odd
- [4/2/2011 12:13:22 AM] James Cebulla: and like, I feel like, I can't help but like you, because i've spent my whole year with you basically
- [4/2/2011 12:13:25 AM] James Cebulla: you are it.
- [4/2/2011 12:13:32 AM] James Cebulla: but, you are always so aggressive towards me
- [4/2/2011 12:13:43 AM] James Cebulla: and time and time again, i's like, maybe she just wnats me for the physical aspect
- [4/2/2011 12:13:59 AM] James Cebulla: since you had your thing with Dan, and then all this stuff, and I don't know.
- [4/2/2011 12:14:24 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: i hope you know that when i told you i loved you, i meant it.
- [4/2/2011 12:14:29 AM] James Cebulla: and you even hinted that you didn't want to be with me
- [4/2/2011 12:14:37 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: and there's the crying again. good one, kate.
- [4/2/2011 12:14:41 AM] James Cebulla: when I was like, "haha, seems like we never ge our weekends together"
- [4/2/2011 12:14:49 AM] James Cebulla: you were like, "maybe the world is trying to tell us something"
- [4/2/2011 12:14:53 AM] James Cebulla: and I didn't want to say it outright because I was still deciding
- [4/2/2011 12:15:12 AM] James Cebulla: crying is a release of emotions, just let it come out naturally.
- [4/2/2011 12:15:22 AM] James Cebulla: and even all over my formspring
- [4/2/2011 12:15:25 AM] James Cebulla: you don't even kno
- [4/2/2011 12:15:28 AM] James Cebulla: how many anon questions i got
- [4/2/2011 12:15:42 AM] James Cebulla: saying "your girlfriend is going to cheat on you hahahahahahah your life is gonn abe fucked up"
- [4/2/2011 12:15:59 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: honestly, formspring is not a good thing.
- [4/2/2011 12:16:08 AM] James Cebulla: and then
- [4/2/2011 12:16:12 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: i'm sure you'll figure that out soon enough, but it really isn't worth it.
- [4/2/2011 12:16:15 AM] James Cebulla: festival rolled around
- [4/2/2011 12:16:23 AM] James Cebulla: and people told me that you were grinding on other people
- [4/2/2011 12:16:33 AM] James Cebulla: and like, you wouldn't talk to me all day, even though i'm aware you were busy
- [4/2/2011 12:16:44 AM] James Cebulla: and you just hung out with that jesse kid all day
- [4/2/2011 12:16:45 AM] James Cebulla: which would be cool
- [4/2/2011 12:16:49 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: false
- [4/2/2011 12:16:51 AM] James Cebulla: but i mean, you could at least tell me hello
- [4/2/2011 12:16:59 AM] James Cebulla: maybe kiss me, and say you miss me but have work to do
- [4/2/2011 12:17:14 AM] James Cebulla: i have a scenario
- [4/2/2011 12:17:20 AM] James Cebulla: evan and i walked out of opposite classrooms
- [4/2/2011 12:17:21 AM] James Cebulla: you were walking down the hallway
- [4/2/2011 12:17:26 AM] James Cebulla: you recognise both of us
- [4/2/2011 12:17:33 AM] James Cebulla: turn straight to evan, "hey evan, how's your day going? ((h))"
- [4/2/2011 12:17:43 AM] James Cebulla: keep walking straight down the hallway
- [4/2/2011 12:17:47 AM] James Cebulla: without even making eye contact with me
- [4/2/2011 12:18:26 AM] James Cebulla: do you want to say anything now?
- [4/2/2011 12:19:56 AM] James Cebulla: and I like formspring, regardless of the bad things people say on it, gives people confidence to say things
- [4/2/2011 12:20:22 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: in my defense, i never see evan. and he was worried about coming to weston and being there all day, so i wanted him to be comfortable. and yes, i'm not going to deny that i should have gone up to you all the times i wanted to and kissed you and told you i loved you and hugged you and held you and told you that i wish we could just spend the day together and not waste time with the peasants we call theater kids. yes, i should have done that LOADS more times. i understand that. but i didn't. and i regret not doing so.
- [4/2/2011 12:20:40 AM] James Cebulla: and then it was you who broke up with me
- [4/2/2011 12:21:04 AM] James Cebulla: and i figured, okay, fine, i'm not old enough, i'm not mature enough, she could have anyone she wanted, it's the hair, she's got the confidence, she's got jesse, she's got evan, she's got who ever
- [4/2/2011 12:21:10 AM] James Cebulla: and I cried
- [4/2/2011 12:21:11 AM] James Cebulla: for the first time
- [4/2/2011 12:21:14 AM] James Cebulla: in maybe 3 years
- [4/2/2011 12:21:26 AM] James Cebulla: and I didn't sleep that night
- [4/2/2011 12:21:27 AM] James Cebulla: or the next
- [4/2/2011 12:21:28 AM] James Cebulla: or the next
- [4/2/2011 12:21:29 AM] James Cebulla: or the next
- [4/2/2011 12:21:30 AM] James Cebulla: and so forth
- [4/2/2011 12:21:34 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: jesse and evan mean nothing, james! why can't you understand that! look at them! good lord!
- [4/2/2011 12:21:56 AM] James Cebulla: then why did you stop liking me!
- [4/2/2011 12:21:57 AM] James Cebulla: what was the reason
- [4/2/2011 12:22:02 AM] James Cebulla: just give me some justification!!
- [4/2/2011 12:22:08 AM] James Cebulla: so I can stop making assumptions in my mind!
- [4/2/2011 12:22:10 AM] James Cebulla: jesus christ
- [4/2/2011 12:22:23 AM] James Cebulla: was i too awkward
- [4/2/2011 12:22:26 AM] James Cebulla: was i not performing well physically
- [4/2/2011 12:22:30 AM] James Cebulla: i just, don't, KNOW.
- [4/2/2011 12:23:27 AM] James Cebulla: when you are preented with older, bigger boys
- [4/2/2011 12:23:32 AM] James Cebulla: what am i supposed to think when you ignore me and spend all your time with them
- [4/2/2011 12:23:41 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: i didn't stop liking you! i HAVEN'T stopped liking you! it was that everyone ever was telling me to go for this other guy, and that you were being really rude to tyngs people and shit and like being weird. i don't know. it was a panicking thing. and then i did it and immediately regretted it. and then i was in a bad mood. and am CONTINUING to be in a bad mood about everything.
- [4/2/2011 12:24:05 AM] James Cebulla: I Was being rude to tyngs?!?!?
- [4/2/2011 12:24:07 AM] James Cebulla: i love them all!
- [4/2/2011 12:24:09 AM] James Cebulla: theyre my favorite
- [4/2/2011 12:24:14 AM] James Cebulla: except for jesse
- [4/2/2011 12:24:21 AM] James Cebulla: because of previously said reasons
- [4/2/2011 12:24:30 AM] James Cebulla: i dont know him at all, and i judged him
- [4/2/2011 12:24:37 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: he's the most awkward piece of ass out there, you have no need to feel competitive
- [4/2/2011 12:24:37 AM] James Cebulla: because i thought that was the reason for my lack of sleep
- [4/2/2011 12:25:00 AM] James Cebulla: well then who was the other guy???
- [4/2/2011 12:25:19 AM] James Cebulla: was my rudeness me being cranky b/c they were slightly rude to grace and aless, and also their lateness in setting up and loading up
- [4/2/2011 12:26:19 AM] James Cebulla: and even still
- [4/2/2011 12:26:20 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: well alessandra and tyngs people kept telling me about how you were like telling EVERYONE i was your girlfriend, and that sort of freaked me out because i felt like we had never actually had a talk about whether we were ready to put that label on us.
- [4/2/2011 12:26:31 AM] James Cebulla: WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT
- [4/2/2011 12:26:39 AM] James Cebulla: da fuck.
- [4/2/2011 12:26:48 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: like, everyone ever was talking about that
- [4/2/2011 12:26:53 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: which was just awk
- [4/2/2011 12:26:56 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: and i freaked, to be honest
- [4/2/2011 12:27:03 AM] James Cebulla: first off, alessandra asked me, are you and katelyn official, and I said, yeah, as far as i'm aware we're dating.
- [4/2/2011 12:27:06 AM] James Cebulla: because I thought we were
- [4/2/2011 12:27:11 AM] James Cebulla: i mean, I asked you out, you said yes
- [4/2/2011 12:27:17 AM] James Cebulla: we were all touchy feely in public
- [4/2/2011 12:27:19 AM] James Cebulla: which i would never fdo
- [4/2/2011 12:27:23 AM] James Cebulla: with someone i wasn't committed to
- [4/2/2011 12:27:27 AM] James Cebulla: as i am a very reserved kind of person
- [4/2/2011 12:27:29 AM] James Cebulla: i never trold anyone from tyngsboro that i "claimed you"
- [4/2/2011 12:27:35 AM] James Cebulla: or was your girlfriend
- [4/2/2011 12:27:53 AM] James Cebulla: grace was telling people that it was awkward that jesse was flirting with you b/c we had a thing
- [4/2/2011 12:27:55 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: yeah but we had never actually had the conversation. and james, i honestly wish we had. i wish i had just calmed the fuck down and asked you to be legit-skiis with me. fuck my judgement.
- [4/2/2011 12:28:15 AM] James Cebulla: ALSO
- [4/2/2011 12:28:22 AM] James Cebulla: if you still iked me then why were you so cold to me
- [4/2/2011 12:28:27 AM] James Cebulla: when i tried to text you, reform a bond
- [4/2/2011 12:28:30 AM] James Cebulla: check how you were feeling
- [4/2/2011 12:28:32 AM] James Cebulla: do SOMETHING
- [4/2/2011 12:28:41 AM] James Cebulla: you must've realized that I didn't hate you
- [4/2/2011 12:29:01 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: it was just awkward
- [4/2/2011 12:29:12 AM] James Cebulla: it's awkward because you left me for another boy
- [4/2/2011 12:29:23 AM] James Cebulla: and i had nothing to say to you in real life without calling you a slimy cunt
- [4/2/2011 12:29:31 AM] James Cebulla: so i ATTEMPTED to reform a bond
- [4/2/2011 12:29:34 AM] James Cebulla: in the best way I could katelyn.
- [4/2/2011 12:29:51 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: and i felt awkward because i made a bad choice but a lot of people were telling me that it was a good choice because your young. but i kept telling people that you were so much more than that to me. you ARE so much more than that. so much more.
- [4/2/2011 12:30:06 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: and i'm glad that 'slimy cunt' is so fervent in your vocabulary
- [4/2/2011 12:30:07 AM] James Cebulla: IF YOU SAID AGE WASN'T A FACTOR WHY DID YOU LISTEN TO THEM
- [4/2/2011 12:30:13 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: it's a good one, i give you props
- [4/2/2011 12:30:16 AM] James Cebulla: slimy cunt has been my word of choice lately.
- [4/2/2011 12:30:17 AM] James Cebulla: bcause you have
- [4/2/2011 12:30:21 AM] James Cebulla: i guess in your words
- [4/2/2011 12:30:22 AM] James Cebulla: "lead me on"
- [4/2/2011 12:30:26 AM] James Cebulla: like, the whole year.
- [4/2/2011 12:30:37 AM] James Cebulla: and
- [4/2/2011 12:30:39 AM] James Cebulla: you've picked me up
- [4/2/2011 12:30:40 AM] James Cebulla: and dropped me
- [4/2/2011 12:30:45 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: i wish i had just grown up a little and had the conversation with you
- [4/2/2011 12:30:45 AM] James Cebulla: this is the 2nd or 3rd time now
- [4/2/2011 12:30:47 AM] James Cebulla: what am i supposed to do
- [4/2/2011 12:30:53 AM] James Cebulla: what happens now kate.
- [4/2/2011 12:31:01 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: it's not up to me what you want to do, james.
- [4/2/2011 12:31:34 AM] James Cebulla: can we video?
- [4/2/2011 12:31:42 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: no i'm crying in darkness
- [4/2/2011 12:31:44 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: so no
- [4/2/2011 12:31:48 AM] James Cebulla: i'm aware.
- [4/2/2011 12:31:51 AM] James Cebulla: let's video
- [4/2/2011 12:31:51 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: no
- [4/2/2011 12:31:53 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: no
- [4/2/2011 12:31:54 AM] James Cebulla: i'm not going to judge you
- [4/2/2011 12:31:55 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: no
- [4/2/2011 12:31:56 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: no
- [4/2/2011 12:31:57 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: no
- [4/2/2011 12:31:58 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: no
- [4/2/2011 12:31:58 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: no
- [4/2/2011 12:32:05 AM] James Cebulla: Kate I want to look at you
- [4/2/2011 12:32:13 AM] James Cebulla: I want to see you, without awkwardly pretending I didn't mean to look at you
- [4/2/2011 12:32:20 AM] James Cebulla: even when i have been desperately staring at you
- [4/2/2011 12:32:22 AM] James Cebulla: ever since that fateful weekend
- [4/2/2011 12:33:27 AM] James Cebulla: you dont even have to talk
- [4/2/2011 12:33:30 AM] James Cebulla: you can still type
- [4/2/2011 12:33:37 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: james i can't bear to look at you and know that you're the only thing i've been thinking of lately. that every time i saw you today it broke my heart just a little bit more. that every time we made eye contact i had to look away, and that me punching tara in the arm today was just a means of coping with sitting behind you. or how on the bus home all i could think about was our bus rides to attleboro, and how i wish we had been canoodling on those rides. i can't even.
- [4/2/2011 12:33:55 AM] *** Call to Katelyn Abigail Engler, no answer. ***
- [4/2/2011 12:34:10 AM] James Cebulla: Katelyn, every single living thing on this PLANET reminds me of you.
- [4/2/2011 12:34:16 AM] James Cebulla: watching reid and kristen on the bus rides
- [4/2/2011 12:34:20 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: kills me
- [4/2/2011 12:34:22 AM] James Cebulla: listening to all of your songs
- [4/2/2011 12:34:24 AM] James Cebulla: on my ipod
- [4/2/2011 12:34:25 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: OBLITERATES my heart
- [4/2/2011 12:34:26 AM] James Cebulla: i can't listen to them anymore
- [4/2/2011 12:34:31 AM] James Cebulla: I couldnt this whole week
- [4/2/2011 12:34:33 AM] James Cebulla: ever since that day
- [4/2/2011 12:34:36 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: i was singing 't-shirt' today
- [4/2/2011 12:34:36 AM] James Cebulla: I couldn't listen to them
- [4/2/2011 12:34:41 AM] James Cebulla: I CAN'T LISTEN TO THAT
- [4/2/2011 12:34:42 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: and had to sit down
- [4/2/2011 12:34:43 AM] James Cebulla: that one kills me
- [4/2/2011 12:34:53 AM] James Cebulla: over and over
- [4/2/2011 12:35:16 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: you told me that you never wanted to know if i wore your shirt again. i legitimately fell on the floor wrapped in your shirt. i sat there crying for at least an hour.
- [4/2/2011 12:35:34 AM] *** Call to Katelyn Abigail Engler, no answer. ***
- [4/2/2011 12:35:41 AM] James Cebulla: katelyn
- [4/2/2011 12:35:44 AM] James Cebulla: you told me
- [4/2/2011 12:35:44 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: james i can't
- [4/2/2011 12:35:47 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: james
- [4/2/2011 12:35:49 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: i can't
- [4/2/2011 12:35:50 AM] James Cebulla: katelyn fun fact
- [4/2/2011 12:35:56 AM] James Cebulla: therer are tears streaming down my faec
- [4/2/2011 12:36:00 AM] James Cebulla: so now we're equal
- [4/2/2011 12:36:23 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: james i can't
- [4/2/2011 12:36:33 AM] James Cebulla: katelyn you came up to me and told me you were wearing my t-shirt
- [4/2/2011 12:36:37 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: i'm the most unpresentable mop of death right now
- [4/2/2011 12:36:38 AM] James Cebulla: that just made me think that you were slimy
- [4/2/2011 12:36:42 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: thanks
- [4/2/2011 12:36:46 AM] James Cebulla: katelyn listen to me
- [4/2/2011 12:36:54 AM] James Cebulla: because
- [4/2/2011 12:36:59 AM] James Cebulla: you ha just broken up with me
- [4/2/2011 12:37:03 AM] James Cebulla: and you know I found it attractive when you told me that
- [4/2/2011 12:37:05 AM] James Cebulla: and the song t-shirt
- [4/2/2011 12:37:11 AM] James Cebulla: always always puts you in my head
- [4/2/2011 12:37:36 AM] James Cebulla: so why would you say that to me
- [4/2/2011 12:37:41 AM] James Cebulla: if you hated me and wanted other boys
- [4/2/2011 12:37:42 AM] James Cebulla: is what i thought
- [4/2/2011 12:37:43 AM] James Cebulla: to myself
- [4/2/2011 12:37:51 AM] James Cebulla: i told you to not tell me again
- [4/2/2011 12:37:51 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: james i want to sit next to you in the theater and hold your hand and cuddle with you on the floor of the Dorothy Quincy suite. i want to walk around boston with you, and sit at fire and ice with you
- [4/2/2011 12:37:57 AM] James Cebulla: because it gave me another sleepless night
- [4/2/2011 12:38:03 AM] James Cebulla: and could barely breathe
- [4/2/2011 12:38:07 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: i want to wrap my hands around yours as we wait to hear if we're moving on the new englands
- [4/2/2011 12:38:13 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: james i want to kiss you so badly right now
- [4/2/2011 12:39:03 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: it hurts in places that i didn't know exist. my toes ache, my stomach is in knots. my eyes are blurry as fuck. james. i want you. i want you, james. no one else. not jesse, not evan, not dan. no one else.
- [4/2/2011 12:39:24 AM] James Cebulla: i'm crying so hard right now
- [4/2/2011 12:39:26 AM] James Cebulla: hold on
- [4/2/2011 12:39:33 AM] James Cebulla: i can't even
- [4/2/2011 12:39:37 AM] James Cebulla: begin to breathe
- [4/2/2011 12:40:01 AM] James Cebulla: you, i dont even know
- [4/2/2011 12:40:06 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: i can't even begin to tell you how difficult it was to stay in my seat today.
- [4/2/2011 12:40:07 AM] James Cebulla: i can't stop crying katelyn
- [4/2/2011 12:40:15 AM] James Cebulla: at every
- [4/2/2011 12:40:16 AM] James Cebulla: single
- [4/2/2011 12:40:17 AM] James Cebulla: sad part
- [4/2/2011 12:40:19 AM] James Cebulla: in each one of those plays
- [4/2/2011 12:40:22 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: all i wanted to do was go up to you and kiss you passionately and tell you i want you
- [4/2/2011 12:40:26 AM] James Cebulla: i wanted to be with you and hold your hand
- [4/2/2011 12:40:27 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: and that i made a huge mistake
- [4/2/2011 12:40:29 AM] James Cebulla: and then turn over
- [4/2/2011 12:40:30 AM] James Cebulla: and not see lexie
- [4/2/2011 12:40:31 AM] James Cebulla: or lucy
- [4/2/2011 12:40:33 AM] James Cebulla: or molly reid
- [4/2/2011 12:40:34 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: and that i just want to cuddle with you
- [4/2/2011 12:40:38 AM] James Cebulla: i wanted to see you
- [4/2/2011 12:40:40 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: and that i don't wnat you with them
- [4/2/2011 12:40:42 AM] James Cebulla: and just feel your body heat
- [4/2/2011 12:40:43 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: i want you with me
- [4/2/2011 12:40:43 AM] James Cebulla: and be warm
- [4/2/2011 12:40:47 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: and i miss your smell
- [4/2/2011 12:40:47 AM] James Cebulla: and be comfortable
- [4/2/2011 12:40:50 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: i miss smelling you
- [4/2/2011 12:41:02 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: and knowing that you smell like..... right. your smell is the right smell for me.
- [4/2/2011 12:41:11 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: i just want you close to me. and hold me forever.
- [4/2/2011 12:41:13 AM] James Cebulla: i miss, your wonderfulo
- [4/2/2011 12:41:14 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: and not let me go
- [4/2/2011 12:41:15 AM] James Cebulla: beautiful eyes
- [4/2/2011 12:41:17 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: and not let me fall
- [4/2/2011 12:41:20 AM] James Cebulla: and i miss the smell of your hair, and how soft it is
- [4/2/2011 12:41:21 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: or be hurt anymore
- [4/2/2011 12:41:26 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: and lost
- [4/2/2011 12:41:26 AM] James Cebulla: and i miss how you would always be there for me
- [4/2/2011 12:41:27 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: and confused
- [4/2/2011 12:41:28 AM] James Cebulla: if i was ever confused
- [4/2/2011 12:41:30 AM] James Cebulla: about anything
- [4/2/2011 12:41:41 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: and not let me be a 'slimy cunt' to you ever, ever, ever again
- [4/2/2011 12:41:46 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: and tell me to shut the fuck up
- [4/2/2011 12:41:50 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: and laugh with you
- [4/2/2011 12:41:56 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: and make stains on your carpet
- [4/2/2011 12:41:59 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: and eat arugala
- [4/2/2011 12:42:01 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: and watch pirates
- [4/2/2011 12:42:05 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: and bring it on
- [4/2/2011 12:42:09 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: and the holiday
- [4/2/2011 12:42:14 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: and go to nantucket
- [4/2/2011 12:42:18 AM] James Cebulla: i'm crying so hard, i'm going tovomit
- [4/2/2011 12:42:21 AM] James Cebulla: but in a good way
- [4/2/2011 12:42:22 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: do you see how much you mean to me, james?
- [4/2/2011 12:42:30 AM] James Cebulla: katelyn what happened baby
- [4/2/2011 12:42:32 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: james, everything i think of has some relation to you
- [4/2/2011 12:42:33 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: james
- [4/2/2011 12:42:34 AM] James Cebulla: what the heck happened
- [4/2/2011 12:42:41 AM] James Cebulla: I hope you realize I havent gone a day without
- [4/2/2011 12:42:43 AM] James Cebulla: thinking about you
- [4/2/2011 12:42:45 AM] James Cebulla: in every classs
- [4/2/2011 12:42:46 AM] James Cebulla: every minute
- [4/2/2011 12:42:49 AM] James Cebulla: and musical rehersal
- [4/2/2011 12:42:51 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: i haven;t gone an hour
- [4/2/2011 12:42:52 AM] James Cebulla: was living hell
- [4/2/2011 12:42:53 AM] James Cebulla: to me
- [4/2/2011 12:42:53 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: a second
- [4/2/2011 12:43:01 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: i avoided the first week of rehearsal
- [4/2/2011 12:43:11 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: because i couldn't stand to look at you with all the other girls around you
- [4/2/2011 12:43:16 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: i couldn't do that to myself
- [4/2/2011 12:43:24 AM] James Cebulla: I don't want them around me
- [4/2/2011 12:43:25 AM] James Cebulla: they smell weird
- [4/2/2011 12:43:29 AM] James Cebulla: and they arent you
- [4/2/2011 12:43:29 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: MEREDITH
- [4/2/2011 12:43:31 AM] James Cebulla: and they arent comforting
- [4/2/2011 12:43:38 AM] James Cebulla: aghoien
- [4/2/2011 12:43:39 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: i just wanted to hold you today
- [4/2/2011 12:43:40 AM] James Cebulla: so
- [4/2/2011 12:43:40 AM] James Cebulla: many
- [4/2/2011 12:43:42 AM] James Cebulla: tears
- [4/2/2011 12:43:53 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: i can't even see what i'm writing
- [4/2/2011 12:43:54 AM] James Cebulla: i want to hug you and never let go katelyn
- [4/2/2011 12:43:57 AM] James Cebulla: i'm shaking so hard
- [4/2/2011 12:44:09 AM] James Cebulla: i acn't even
- [4/2/2011 12:44:14 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: james i want to see you tomorrow morning and kiss you
- [4/2/2011 12:44:18 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: and tell you im sorry
- [4/2/2011 12:44:25 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: and that i'm a stupid hormonal 17 year old
- [4/2/2011 12:44:27 AM] James Cebulla: I want to hug you
- [4/2/2011 12:44:29 AM] James Cebulla: and never
- [4/2/2011 12:44:30 AM] James Cebulla: ever
- [4/2/2011 12:44:31 AM] James Cebulla: let you go
- [4/2/2011 12:44:32 AM] James Cebulla: no matter
- [4/2/2011 12:44:32 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: who made so many mistakes in the past month
- [4/2/2011 12:44:34 AM] James Cebulla: what happens kate
- [4/2/2011 12:44:46 AM] James Cebulla: i just want you to be in my arms
- [4/2/2011 12:44:46 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: and i just want to undo so many things
- [4/2/2011 12:44:49 AM] James Cebulla: please, so much
- [4/2/2011 12:44:52 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: james i just want a movie night
- [4/2/2011 12:44:58 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: my eyes burn
- [4/2/2011 12:45:04 AM] James Cebulla: my whole body hurts
- [4/2/2011 12:45:13 AM] James Cebulla: every time we made eye contact
- [4/2/2011 12:45:14 AM] James Cebulla: i get this achy
- [4/2/2011 12:45:16 AM] James Cebulla: hot feeling inside
- [4/2/2011 12:45:18 AM] James Cebulla: and it wouldnt go away
- [4/2/2011 12:45:20 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: i haven't felt this depressed for years
- [4/2/2011 12:45:24 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: i can't stand it
- [4/2/2011 12:45:26 AM] James Cebulla: and everything in me wants you
- [4/2/2011 12:45:28 AM] James Cebulla: more than life itself aktelyn
- [4/2/2011 12:45:29 AM] James Cebulla: do you get that?
- [4/2/2011 12:45:31 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: i feel like i'm dying without you, james.
- [4/2/2011 12:45:33 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: and that's scary as fuck.
- [4/2/2011 12:45:35 AM] James Cebulla: You are legitimately my eveerythign
- [4/2/2011 12:46:33 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: i cried during 2 shows today. not because of the shows. but because they'd say something cute and i'd just think about how much i wanted you to say something cute to me
- [4/2/2011 12:46:43 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: and i'd look at you, nestled up against lexie, and have to look away
- [4/2/2011 12:46:54 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: and bury my sobbing head into alessandra and tara
- [4/2/2011 12:46:59 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: i couldn't bear it
- [4/2/2011 12:47:14 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: i got your button from you on the bus, and our hands touched. my entire body was on fire.
- [4/2/2011 12:47:21 AM] James Cebulla: i felt
- [4/2/2011 12:47:23 AM] James Cebulla: the hand touch
- [4/2/2011 12:47:24 AM] James Cebulla: i thought about it
- [4/2/2011 12:47:26 AM] James Cebulla: the entire ride
- [4/2/2011 12:47:26 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: i stumbled back to my seat and started crying again
- [4/2/2011 12:47:27 AM] James Cebulla: home
- [4/2/2011 12:47:28 AM] James Cebulla: katelyn
- [4/2/2011 12:47:32 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: it was horrifying
- [4/2/2011 12:47:34 AM] James Cebulla: i watched
- [4/2/2011 12:47:36 AM] James Cebulla: i felt the hand touch
- [4/2/2011 12:47:41 AM] James Cebulla: and i watched every other
- [4/2/2011 12:47:43 AM] James Cebulla: button you took
- [4/2/2011 12:47:45 AM] James Cebulla: and you never touched hands
- [4/2/2011 12:47:47 AM] James Cebulla: and i got that feeling inside
- [4/2/2011 12:47:50 AM] James Cebulla: that awful feeling
- [4/2/2011 12:47:53 AM] James Cebulla: like that feeling
- [4/2/2011 12:47:54 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: i didn't touch anyone else's hand
- [4/2/2011 12:47:55 AM] James Cebulla: about when i was little
- [4/2/2011 12:47:59 AM] James Cebulla: and i got on the bus to go tocamp
- [4/2/2011 12:48:01 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: i made sure no one touched where you touched
- [4/2/2011 12:48:02 AM] James Cebulla: but my mom took me off
- [4/2/2011 12:48:04 AM] James Cebulla: at the last minute
- [4/2/2011 12:48:14 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: weird, but i just kept touching where you had touched
- [4/2/2011 12:48:15 AM] James Cebulla: i got that feeling like i'm doing something im regretting for the rest of mylife
- [4/2/2011 12:48:26 AM] James Cebulla: and i missed you
- [4/2/2011 12:48:34 AM] James Cebulla: and there is nobody on this planet katelyn
- [4/2/2011 12:48:35 AM] James Cebulla: who is like you
- [4/2/2011 12:48:40 AM] James Cebulla: and who means to me what you do
- [4/2/2011 12:48:45 AM] James Cebulla: and i mean that to you in every possible way
- [4/2/2011 12:48:52 AM] James Cebulla: and i can barely type
- [4/2/2011 12:48:54 AM] James Cebulla: i'm crying so hard kate
- [4/2/2011 12:49:01 AM] James Cebulla: i've never even been like this in my whole life
- [4/2/2011 12:49:31 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: every time i saw you with a girl, i got so mad and jealous. which was bad, because i was the one who made the decision. and i felt guilty and upset with myself. with everything. and i couldn't bear to look at you
- [4/2/2011 12:49:45 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: i'd have to physically leave to be able to breathe again
- [4/2/2011 12:49:51 AM] James Cebulla: the onyl reason i did that
- [4/2/2011 12:49:56 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: every single time i left rehearsal, i looked over at you and had to turn away
- [4/2/2011 12:49:57 AM] James Cebulla: was because I knew that there was no way
- [4/2/2011 12:50:01 AM] James Cebulla: i could even
- [4/2/2011 12:50:05 AM] James Cebulla: stop thiknin about you
- [4/2/2011 12:50:09 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: every time i went in the hallway randomly was because you were with some other girl
- [4/2/2011 12:50:14 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: and i couldn't bear it
- [4/2/2011 12:50:16 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: i CAN'T bear it
- [4/2/2011 12:50:22 AM] James Cebulla: I don't like any of them
- [4/2/2011 12:50:25 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: i just want to hug you
- [4/2/2011 12:50:27 AM] James Cebulla: i dont like a SINGLE
- [4/2/2011 12:50:28 AM] James Cebulla: FUCKING
- [4/2/2011 12:50:29 AM] James Cebulla: ONE OF THE
- [4/2/2011 12:50:30 AM] James Cebulla: M
- [4/2/2011 12:50:32 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: and feel your hair brush my face
- [4/2/2011 12:50:34 AM] James Cebulla: i did that to try and gain
- [4/2/2011 12:50:38 AM] James Cebulla: some kind of foothold
- [4/2/2011 12:50:39 AM] James Cebulla: and try and sleep again
- [4/2/2011 12:50:41 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: and smell your body encompassing mine
- [4/2/2011 12:50:49 AM] James Cebulla: oh jesus christ kate.
- [4/2/2011 12:50:50 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: and hold your soft hands
- [4/2/2011 12:50:52 AM] James Cebulla: I want you so badly
- [4/2/2011 12:50:57 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: and kiss your lips
- [4/2/2011 12:51:02 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: and stroke your cheek
- [4/2/2011 12:51:05 AM] James Cebulla: your soft, wonderufl lips
- [4/2/2011 12:51:05 AM] James Cebulla: and you're the only person
- [4/2/2011 12:51:09 AM] James Cebulla: who smells good to me
- [4/2/2011 12:51:10 AM] James Cebulla: katelyn
- [4/2/2011 12:51:14 AM] James Cebulla: you are the only one
- [4/2/2011 12:51:14 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: and tell you that i love you down to every last freckle and random nipple
- [4/2/2011 12:51:15 AM] James Cebulla: not meredith
- [4/2/2011 12:51:17 AM] James Cebulla: not lexie
- [4/2/2011 12:51:29 AM] James Cebulla: not, fucking, anyone.
- [4/2/2011 12:51:36 AM] James Cebulla: i want to hold you for hours katelyn
- [4/2/2011 12:51:38 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: and that every second i haven't been with you has made me realize more and more that i made a mistake
- [4/2/2011 12:51:40 AM] James Cebulla: i dont want festival tommorow
- [4/2/2011 12:51:42 AM] James Cebulla: i want to hold you
- [4/2/2011 12:51:45 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: and i couldn't even tell anyone about it
- [4/2/2011 12:51:50 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: so i just sat here
- [4/2/2011 12:51:51 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: crying in my room
- [4/2/2011 12:51:53 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: not doing work
- [4/2/2011 12:51:56 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: not sleeping
- [4/2/2011 12:52:03 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: just crying
- [4/2/2011 12:52:07 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: and hating myself
- [4/2/2011 12:52:08 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: and my choices
- [4/2/2011 12:52:15 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: and drowning my sorrow in all the bad shit
- [4/2/2011 12:52:22 AM] James Cebulla: like what
- [4/2/2011 12:52:33 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: and denying the fact that i kept thinking about you
- [4/2/2011 12:52:40 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: and trying to think about other things
- [4/2/2011 12:52:46 AM] James Cebulla: katelyn
- [4/2/2011 12:52:48 AM] James Cebulla: when i saw you today
- [4/2/2011 12:52:51 AM] James Cebulla: at the table behind
- [4/2/2011 12:52:53 AM] James Cebulla: the scenes
- [4/2/2011 12:52:54 AM] James Cebulla: during our show
- [4/2/2011 12:52:58 AM] James Cebulla: I wanted to come up behind you
- [4/2/2011 12:53:06 AM] James Cebulla: and just run my hands up and down your back
- [4/2/2011 12:53:10 AM] James Cebulla: and just feel how nice and soft
- [4/2/2011 12:53:12 AM] James Cebulla: and warm you were
- [4/2/2011 12:53:12 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: i wanted you to come up behind me mor than anything
- [4/2/2011 12:53:13 AM] James Cebulla: just like we used to
- [4/2/2011 12:53:16 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: i wanted to walk over
- [4/2/2011 12:53:25 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: and run my hands all over your body
- [4/2/2011 12:53:28 AM] James Cebulla: and how we used to share our secret kisses
- [4/2/2011 12:53:29 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: and sit on your lap in the chair
- [4/2/2011 12:53:30 AM] James Cebulla: and avoid kimmie
- [4/2/2011 12:53:36 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: and not be with kimmie
- [4/2/2011 12:53:39 AM] James Cebulla: you make my whole body ache
- [4/2/2011 12:53:40 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: and hold you hand
- [4/2/2011 12:53:52 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: and kiss you before and after you went on stage
- [4/2/2011 12:54:17 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: and smile when you dropped my hand to go on stage, and then smile as you flashed your camera, and said your lines.
- [4/2/2011 12:54:25 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: i want to feel like a normal fucking person
- [4/2/2011 12:54:34 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: i don't want to be empty
- [4/2/2011 12:54:36 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: and alone
- [4/2/2011 12:54:41 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: i can't handle this anymore
- [4/2/2011 12:54:44 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: i just can't
- [4/2/2011 12:54:54 AM] James Cebulla: I want to love you and make you so happy katelyn
- [4/2/2011 12:54:59 AM] James Cebulla: and i want to give you your morals back
- [4/2/2011 12:55:00 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: i'm a mess, and for the longest time you were the one thing holding me together
- [4/2/2011 12:55:01 AM] James Cebulla: and i want to love you
- [4/2/2011 12:55:03 AM] James Cebulla: more than anything
- [4/2/2011 12:55:10 AM] James Cebulla: I want to keep you together
- [4/2/2011 12:55:12 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: after Snickers, you were legitimately the glue to the explosion of my life
- [4/2/2011 12:55:27 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: i can't handle her not being here, and you were the one thing that made me feel like it wasn't my fault
- [4/2/2011 12:55:38 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: you made me not think about how much i regretted with her
- [4/2/2011 12:55:38 AM] James Cebulla: it wasnt kate
- [4/2/2011 12:55:41 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: how much guilt i felt
- [4/2/2011 12:55:46 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: how i still feel that
- [4/2/2011 12:55:51 AM] James Cebulla: there was nothing to be guilty of katelyn
- [4/2/2011 12:55:53 AM] James Cebulla: i want to make you feel
- [4/2/2011 12:55:54 AM] James Cebulla: everyday
- [4/2/2011 12:55:56 AM] James Cebulla: that you are
- [4/2/2011 12:55:56 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: how if i had brought her to another doctor she would have been ok
- [4/2/2011 12:55:59 AM] James Cebulla: the most special person
- [4/2/2011 12:55:59 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: and you could have met her
- [4/2/2011 12:56:06 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: and she'd be beside me right now
- [4/2/2011 12:56:10 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: and i wouldn't sleep alone every night
- [4/2/2011 12:56:16 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: and hate my house, my family
- [4/2/2011 12:56:17 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: i hate them all
- [4/2/2011 12:56:21 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: they aren't home without her
- [4/2/2011 12:56:26 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: i'm not me without her
- [4/2/2011 12:56:34 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: and you were the one thing that made me see past all of that shit
- [4/2/2011 12:56:38 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: and now it's all i think about
- [4/2/2011 12:56:47 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: how i need to stop blaming me
- [4/2/2011 12:56:53 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: and start liking everyone again
- [4/2/2011 12:57:18 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: i can't live like this anymore. i don't want to spend my days not wanting to live without her. i want to make her proud
- [4/2/2011 12:57:19 AM] James Cebulla: I want you to feel
- [4/2/2011 12:57:22 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: i want her back
- [4/2/2011 12:57:23 AM] James Cebulla: like you're the most special
- [4/2/2011 12:57:24 AM] James Cebulla: person
- [4/2/2011 12:57:26 AM] James Cebulla: in the world
- [4/2/2011 12:57:31 AM] James Cebulla: and that you have done nothing wrong
- [4/2/2011 12:57:34 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: i don't want these tears streaming down my face anymore
- [4/2/2011 12:57:36 AM] James Cebulla: and you gave her the best life she couldve possibly had
- [4/2/2011 12:57:39 AM] James Cebulla: I'm sick
- [4/2/2011 12:57:41 AM] James Cebulla: of my achy feeling
- [4/2/2011 12:57:42 AM] James Cebulla: of being tired
- [4/2/2011 12:57:48 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: i want to cry while watching the holiday with you and sipping hot chocolate
- [4/2/2011 12:57:53 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: not crying here
- [4/2/2011 12:57:54 AM] James Cebulla: katelyn
- [4/2/2011 12:57:56 AM] James Cebulla: when i drove
- [4/2/2011 12:57:58 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: i want you to hold me and tell me i'm ok
- [4/2/2011 12:58:00 AM] James Cebulla: out of the lot with my dad
- [4/2/2011 12:58:02 AM] James Cebulla: i passed you
- [4/2/2011 12:58:07 AM] James Cebulla: walking and laughnig with alessandra
- [4/2/2011 12:58:08 AM] James Cebulla: or someone
- [4/2/2011 12:58:14 AM] James Cebulla: and I was so depressed that whole night
- [4/2/2011 12:58:16 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: i want to wear your green sweatshirt more than anything in the worl
- [4/2/2011 12:58:18 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: d
- [4/2/2011 12:58:18 AM] James Cebulla: because we made eye contact
- [4/2/2011 12:58:22 AM] James Cebulla: or maybe we even didnt
- [4/2/2011 12:58:22 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: i want to hold you
- [4/2/2011 12:58:23 AM] James Cebulla: but it felt like we did
- [4/2/2011 12:58:25 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: and kiss you
- [4/2/2011 12:58:25 AM] James Cebulla: and
- [4/2/2011 12:58:29 AM] James Cebulla: and i didnt eat that night
- [4/2/2011 12:58:31 AM] James Cebulla: and i didnt sleep
- [4/2/2011 12:58:32 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: and have you wipe away my tears
- [4/2/2011 12:58:33 AM] James Cebulla: and i sobbed
- [4/2/2011 12:58:37 AM] James Cebulla: and i want to make you
- [4/2/2011 12:58:39 AM] James Cebulla: so so happy
- [4/2/2011 12:58:42 AM] James Cebulla: and iwant to love you
- [4/2/2011 12:58:44 AM] James Cebulla: and kiss you
- [4/2/2011 12:58:45 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: and i want to tell you that you're amazing
- [4/2/2011 12:58:46 AM] James Cebulla: and never let you go
- [4/2/2011 12:58:54 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: and that you're the best 14-year-old i've ever met
- [4/2/2011 12:58:56 AM] James Cebulla: I want to tell you that you're incredible.
- [4/2/2011 12:59:04 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: and that no one will ever come in the way of me and you
- [4/2/2011 12:59:04 AM] James Cebulla: you're the only 17 year old that makes me feel comfortable
- [4/2/2011 12:59:08 AM] James Cebulla: like i dont have to impress anyone
- [4/2/2011 12:59:10 AM] James Cebulla: with how old i am
- [4/2/2011 12:59:16 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: and that i could spend every waking minute with you and not feel bad
- [4/2/2011 12:59:33 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: except when you blatantly say that you're uncomfortable with me during movie nights. that's just mean.
- [4/2/2011 12:59:40 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: but i want to snuggle with you
- [4/2/2011 12:59:44 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: and watch movies with you
- [4/2/2011 12:59:49 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: and legally drive you places now
- [4/2/2011 12:59:56 AM] James Cebulla: that was once, and i hadn't said anything for 3 hours
- [4/2/2011 12:59:59 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: and go to the beach
- [4/2/2011 1:00:03 AM] James Cebulla: i was just concerned about how you were
- [4/2/2011 1:00:05 AM] James Cebulla: i was comfy
- [4/2/2011 1:00:06 AM] James Cebulla: and warm
- [4/2/2011 1:00:09 AM] James Cebulla: just snuggled up next to you
- [4/2/2011 1:00:10 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: and squidgy our feet in the sand
- [4/2/2011 1:00:15 AM] James Cebulla: just being in your presence makes me
- [4/2/2011 1:00:16 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: and walk on the beach together
- [4/2/2011 1:00:17 AM] James Cebulla: so much happier
- [4/2/2011 1:00:19 AM] James Cebulla: than anything
- [4/2/2011 1:00:21 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: and spend spring weekends together
- [4/2/2011 1:00:28 AM] James Cebulla: and you don't touch my hair when I don't want you to
- [4/2/2011 1:00:30 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: and hang out after rehearsals are over
- [4/2/2011 1:00:31 AM] James Cebulla: which is a wonderful thing
- [4/2/2011 1:00:32 AM] James Cebulla: I want to do everything
- [4/2/2011 1:00:36 AM] James Cebulla: with you kate
- [4/2/2011 1:00:45 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: and i want to not have to feel all this pain all the time anymore
- [4/2/2011 1:00:52 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: i want to feel complete
- [4/2/2011 1:00:58 AM] James Cebulla: I want this depressing angst
- [4/2/2011 1:01:00 AM] James Cebulla: and crushign sadness
- [4/2/2011 1:01:02 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: and not like i'm just a suppermassive black hole any more
- [4/2/2011 1:01:04 AM] James Cebulla: and itching burning heat
- [4/2/2011 1:01:06 AM] James Cebulla: to end
- [4/2/2011 1:01:07 AM] James Cebulla: i want it all to end katelyn
- [4/2/2011 1:01:11 AM] James Cebulla: and I want
- [4/2/2011 1:01:12 AM] James Cebulla: to start again
- [4/2/2011 1:01:19 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: the only thing i want right now
- [4/2/2011 1:01:22 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: is you.
- [4/2/2011 1:01:26 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: you, james.
- [4/2/2011 1:01:29 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: not anyone else.
- [4/2/2011 1:01:38 AM] James Cebulla: I never stoppped wanting you
- [4/2/2011 1:01:39 AM] James Cebulla: katelyn
- [4/2/2011 1:01:40 AM] James Cebulla: kate
- [4/2/2011 1:01:40 AM] James Cebulla: baby
- [4/2/2011 1:01:43 AM] James Cebulla: you are
- [4/2/2011 1:01:45 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: you're all i've wanted. 24 hours of the day, 7 days of the week.
- [4/2/2011 1:01:46 AM] James Cebulla: my favorite person in the world
- [4/2/2011 1:02:00 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: every day without you has felt like my last day
- [4/2/2011 1:02:06 AM] James Cebulla: there was no drive
- [4/2/2011 1:02:09 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: i can't even bear it anymore
- [4/2/2011 1:02:10 AM] James Cebulla: for me to do anything
- [4/2/2011 1:02:13 AM] James Cebulla: without you kate
- [4/2/2011 1:02:15 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: i have lost all motivation
- [4/2/2011 1:02:18 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: i can't do this
- [4/2/2011 1:02:25 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: i just want to touch your hand again
- [4/2/2011 1:02:26 AM] James Cebulla: I want to give you your motivation back
- [4/2/2011 1:02:27 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: and get chills
- [4/2/2011 1:02:28 AM] James Cebulla: i just
- [4/2/2011 1:02:30 AM] James Cebulla: first thing
- [4/2/2011 1:02:31 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: like i always did
- [4/2/2011 1:02:32 AM] James Cebulla: i just want to squeeze you
- [4/2/2011 1:02:34 AM] James Cebulla: and never
- [4/2/2011 1:02:36 AM] James Cebulla: ever let go
- [4/2/2011 1:02:41 AM] James Cebulla: and just smell your smell
- [4/2/2011 1:02:42 AM] James Cebulla: your YOU smell
- [4/2/2011 1:02:50 AM] James Cebulla: and get the excitement i feel from touching you
- [4/2/2011 1:03:01 AM] James Cebulla: I want us back katelyn
- [4/2/2011 1:03:21 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: james i miss you
- [4/2/2011 1:03:29 AM] James Cebulla: Katelyn I need you in my life
- [4/2/2011 1:03:32 AM] James Cebulla: I can't deal with this
- [4/2/2011 1:03:47 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: i want to be with you in the halls
- [4/2/2011 1:04:09 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: and walk with you to class
- [4/2/2011 1:04:23 AM] James Cebulla: I miss you
- [4/2/2011 1:04:25 AM] James Cebulla: every day
- [4/2/2011 1:04:28 AM] James Cebulla: i miss how I could always see
- [4/2/2011 1:04:30 AM] James Cebulla: your wonderful
- [4/2/2011 1:04:32 AM] James Cebulla: inspiring face
- [4/2/2011 1:04:35 AM] James Cebulla: and hold hands with you
- [4/2/2011 1:04:39 AM] James Cebulla: even though i've never felt comfortable
- [4/2/2011 1:04:43 AM] James Cebulla: to hold hands with any girl
- [4/2/2011 1:04:44 AM] James Cebulla: in public
- [4/2/2011 1:04:50 AM] James Cebulla: you give me the confidence to
- [4/2/2011 1:04:53 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: i want to stop picking my nails because i'm so nervous and fidgety without you
- [4/2/2011 1:04:54 AM] James Cebulla: to do things katelyn
- [4/2/2011 1:04:59 AM] James Cebulla: every time i bit my nails
- [4/2/2011 1:05:03 AM] James Cebulla: I would always think
- [4/2/2011 1:05:06 AM] James Cebulla: katelyn wouldnt want me doing this
- [4/2/2011 1:05:12 AM] James Cebulla: but then i would remember, she's not here anymore
- [4/2/2011 1:05:13 AM] James Cebulla: and i would get that feeling
- [4/2/2011 1:05:20 AM] James Cebulla: and depres myself to sleep
- [4/2/2011 1:05:21 AM] James Cebulla: at 2 in the morning
- [4/2/2011 1:05:37 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: i want nothing more than to speed over to your house, burst through the door, run up the stairs and hug you right now
- [4/2/2011 1:06:02 AM] James Cebulla: oh god katelyn
- [4/2/2011 1:06:04 AM] James Cebulla: oh my god
- [4/2/2011 1:06:09 AM] James Cebulla: why didnt we just do this sooner
- [4/2/2011 1:06:13 AM] James Cebulla: why did we wait until now
- [4/2/2011 1:06:25 AM] James Cebulla: why the fuck couldn't I just man up and say I wanted you
- [4/2/2011 1:06:27 AM] James Cebulla: more than life itself
- [4/2/2011 1:07:14 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: that's what i was waiting for you to do. but it's quite a lot to ask of a 14 year old. and i don't want to pretend that you're 17. that's not fair. be young and free while you can. i'm an old bag, i don't want to make you age.
- [4/2/2011 1:07:34 AM] James Cebulla: BUT HOW COULD I SAY I WANTED YOU
- [4/2/2011 1:07:35 AM] James Cebulla: i thought you hated me
- [4/2/2011 1:07:39 AM] James Cebulla: I thought you didn't want me
- [4/2/2011 1:07:46 AM] James Cebulla: and i would just be a desperate fuck if i tried anything
- [4/2/2011 1:07:57 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: no you wouldn't
- [4/2/2011 1:08:06 AM] James Cebulla: i thought you would say
- [4/2/2011 1:08:07 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: honesty is the sexiest quality in a man
- [4/2/2011 1:08:08 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: for the record
- [4/2/2011 1:08:10 AM] James Cebulla: shut the fuck up freshman
- [4/2/2011 1:08:11 AM] James Cebulla: im busy with
- [4/2/2011 1:08:12 AM] James Cebulla: i dont know
- [4/2/2011 1:08:14 AM] James Cebulla: upperclassmen
- [4/2/2011 1:08:18 AM] James Cebulla: and im always honest with you
- [4/2/2011 1:08:23 AM] James Cebulla: even if it isn't relevant
- [4/2/2011 1:08:24 AM] James Cebulla: to anything
- [4/2/2011 1:08:26 AM] James Cebulla: i have never lied to you
- [4/2/2011 1:08:27 AM] James Cebulla: in my life
- [4/2/2011 1:08:29 AM] James Cebulla: about anything
- [4/2/2011 1:08:48 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: which is the best thing you could ever do
- [4/2/2011 1:08:52 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: and i thank you, for that
- [4/2/2011 1:08:58 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: i miss your big vocabulary
- [4/2/2011 1:09:10 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: and your drawings
- [4/2/2011 1:09:15 AM] James Cebulla: do you still have
- [4/2/2011 1:09:17 AM] James Cebulla: the drwaing i gave you
- [4/2/2011 1:09:22 AM] James Cebulla: of the lemon stand?
- [4/2/2011 1:09:41 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: i was in apush and almost cried. so i recycled it. then went to the bathroom for a good 20 minutes and proceeded to cry my eyes out.
- [4/2/2011 1:10:19 AM] James Cebulla: katelyn baby...
- [4/2/2011 1:10:22 AM] James Cebulla: I want to love you.
- [4/2/2011 1:10:24 AM] James Cebulla: so much
- [4/2/2011 1:10:27 AM] James Cebulla: I never want you to cry
- [4/2/2011 1:10:28 AM] James Cebulla: or be sad again
- [4/2/2011 1:10:56 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: james
- [4/2/2011 1:11:04 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: are you going to talk to me tomorrow?
- [4/2/2011 1:11:25 AM] James Cebulla: Katelyn i am going to spend my day with you tommorow
- [4/2/2011 1:11:27 AM] James Cebulla: first thing I see
- [4/2/2011 1:11:30 AM] James Cebulla: I want to hug you
- [4/2/2011 1:11:31 AM] James Cebulla: viciously
- [4/2/2011 1:11:33 AM] James Cebulla: i dont care
- [4/2/2011 1:11:34 AM] James Cebulla: i'm not letting go
- [4/2/2011 1:11:38 AM] James Cebulla: i dont give a flying fuckdoodle
- [4/2/2011 1:11:39 AM] James Cebulla: what anyone says
- [4/2/2011 1:11:42 AM] James Cebulla: you're my everything katelyn
- [4/2/2011 1:11:44 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: you better not let me go
- [4/2/2011 1:11:47 AM] James Cebulla: never again
- [4/2/2011 1:11:48 AM] James Cebulla: never again kate
- [4/2/2011 1:11:50 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: you better not
- [4/2/2011 1:11:53 AM] James Cebulla: I promise
- [4/2/2011 1:12:02 AM] James Cebulla: I promise so hard, on everything I can promise on
- [4/2/2011 1:12:18 AM] James Cebulla: I may even cry
- [4/2/2011 1:12:26 AM] James Cebulla: i never ever cry in front of people
- [4/2/2011 1:12:30 AM] James Cebulla: but I can't stand it
- [4/2/2011 1:12:33 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: you better not make my mascara run tomorrow
- [4/2/2011 1:12:39 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: or i'll have to reapply
- [4/2/2011 1:12:45 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: but you'll be next to me
- [4/2/2011 1:12:49 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: so i could be doing anything
- [4/2/2011 1:12:52 AM] James Cebulla: you're probably going to want to bring extra mascara
- [4/2/2011 1:12:56 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: as long as you're with me
- [4/2/2011 1:12:57 AM] James Cebulla: =)
- [4/2/2011 1:13:09 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: thank GOD i'm not wearing mascara right now
- [4/2/2011 1:13:10 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: i'd be swimming in it
- [4/2/2011 1:13:13 AM] James Cebulla: my eyeliner is
- [4/2/2011 1:13:17 AM] James Cebulla: everywhere
- [4/2/2011 1:13:19 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: oh lord
- [4/2/2011 1:13:23 AM] James Cebulla: i'm a hotmess
- [4/2/2011 1:13:25 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: 'guy'-liner, actually
- [4/2/2011 1:13:27 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: like at
- [4/2/2011 1:13:34 AM] James Cebulla: male eye-accompaniment
- [4/2/2011 1:13:35 AM] James Cebulla: s
- [4/2/2011 1:13:36 AM] James Cebulla: whateva!
- [4/2/2011 1:13:51 AM] James Cebulla: oh my god kate, you are my
- [4/2/2011 1:13:53 AM] James Cebulla: unbelievable
- [4/2/2011 1:13:56 AM] James Cebulla: everything
- [4/2/2011 1:13:56 AM] James Cebulla: all
- [4/2/2011 1:14:00 AM] James Cebulla: can just you and me
- [4/2/2011 1:14:02 AM] James Cebulla: spend the day together tommorow
- [4/2/2011 1:14:05 AM] James Cebulla: just us two
- [4/2/2011 1:14:09 AM] James Cebulla: with nobody else
- [4/2/2011 1:14:22 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: sup the population of boston? what's crackin? SUCKS.
- [4/2/2011 1:14:38 AM] James Cebulla: fuckers don't get none
- [4/2/2011 1:14:49 AM] James Cebulla: katelyn can I ask you a personal question?
- [4/2/2011 1:14:56 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: yeah
- [4/2/2011 1:15:03 AM] James Cebulla: did y ou ever get high?
- [4/2/2011 1:15:09 AM] James Cebulla: like, at all, this year
- [4/2/2011 1:15:09 AM] James Cebulla: have you ever tried it?
- [4/2/2011 1:15:15 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: yeah
- [4/2/2011 1:15:34 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: a large contributer to the fucked up shit i've been up to lately
- [4/2/2011 1:15:49 AM] James Cebulla: I kinda guessed as much
- [4/2/2011 1:15:55 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: and every time i did
- [4/2/2011 1:15:56 AM] James Cebulla: can you stop that immediately?
- [4/2/2011 1:16:04 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: i just thought about what you'd think of me
- [4/2/2011 1:16:11 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: and all the bad names you'd call me
- [4/2/2011 1:16:13 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: and relate me to lucy
- [4/2/2011 1:16:14 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: and everyone else
- [4/2/2011 1:16:22 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: and it just made it harder to stop
- [4/2/2011 1:16:39 AM] James Cebulla: how many times did you do it?
- [4/2/2011 1:16:50 AM] James Cebulla: i'll be 100% honest with you I heard it from erica that you did it in Irene
- [4/2/2011 1:16:53 AM] James Cebulla: and I was in shock
- [4/2/2011 1:16:56 AM] James Cebulla: I actually couldn't form words
- [4/2/2011 1:17:05 AM] James Cebulla: because that was one of the biggest things I loved about you
- [4/2/2011 1:17:09 AM] James Cebulla: was that you didn't do that
- [4/2/2011 1:17:18 AM] James Cebulla: you were better than everyone else
- [4/2/2011 1:17:18 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: my 3 frosh morals: sex, drugs, alcohol. broke all 3 this year.
- [4/2/2011 1:17:36 AM] James Cebulla: sex is hardly a moral
- [4/2/2011 1:17:40 AM] James Cebulla: i'd say it was worth it
- [4/2/2011 1:17:40 AM] James Cebulla: hah
- [4/2/2011 1:17:41 AM] James Cebulla: anyways
- [4/2/2011 1:17:44 AM] James Cebulla: on a more serious note
- [4/2/2011 1:17:48 AM] James Cebulla: when did you drink..
- [4/2/2011 1:17:51 AM] James Cebulla: ?
- [4/2/2011 1:17:58 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: i already told you about it
- [4/2/2011 1:18:00 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: i haven't for awhile
- [4/2/2011 1:18:20 AM] James Cebulla: when was the last time you got high?
- [4/2/2011 1:18:28 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: uhhh
- [4/2/2011 1:18:32 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: last week?
- [4/2/2011 1:18:42 AM] James Cebulla: was it as a result of uus splitting
- [4/2/2011 1:18:44 AM] James Cebulla: ?
- [4/2/2011 1:18:49 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: absolutely
- [4/2/2011 1:18:53 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: i needed to escape
- [4/2/2011 1:19:40 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: i legitimately was contemplating some pretty fucked up shit that i hadn't thought of for years. in 7th grade i was legit depressed and almost did something REALLY bad. and thoughts of that shit were slowly creeping back into my conscience
- [4/2/2011 1:20:20 AM] James Cebulla: can you tell me about it kate
- [4/2/2011 1:20:21 AM] James Cebulla: ?
- [4/2/2011 1:20:28 AM] James Cebulla: Or, do you not want to talk about it right now
- [4/2/2011 1:20:34 AM] James Cebulla: whichever you are more comfortable
- [4/2/2011 1:20:35 AM] James Cebulla: with
- [4/2/2011 1:20:36 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: i'd rather not talk about that right now
- [4/2/2011 1:20:46 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: it was awhile ago, though. 7th grade...
- [4/2/2011 1:20:55 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: but james
- [4/2/2011 1:20:59 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: we should probably head off to bed
- [4/2/2011 1:21:03 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: we have another long day tomorrow
- [4/2/2011 1:21:11 AM] James Cebulla: I hope it lasts
- [4/2/2011 1:21:12 AM] James Cebulla: for fucking
- [4/2/2011 1:21:13 AM] James Cebulla: ever
- [4/2/2011 1:21:16 AM] James Cebulla: because
- [4/2/2011 1:21:17 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: and shouldn't have bags under our eyes
- [4/2/2011 1:21:18 AM] James Cebulla: i am not letting go of you
- [4/2/2011 1:21:20 AM] James Cebulla: evera
- [4/2/2011 1:21:21 AM] James Cebulla: again
- [4/2/2011 1:21:25 AM] James Cebulla: hah, as if i could get rid of my bags
- [4/2/2011 1:21:26 AM] James Cebulla: theyre permanent
- [4/2/2011 1:21:28 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: you better not. you better in fucking HELL not
- [4/2/2011 1:21:30 AM] James Cebulla: from all the late night star-wars i read as a little boy
- [4/2/2011 1:21:38 AM] James Cebulla: never
- [4/2/2011 1:21:41 AM] James Cebulla: never ever
- [4/2/2011 1:21:42 AM] James Cebulla: ever
- [4/2/2011 1:21:42 AM] James Cebulla: eve
- [4/2/2011 1:21:43 AM] James Cebulla: rever
- [4/2/2011 1:21:44 AM] James Cebulla: letting go
- [4/2/2011 1:21:45 AM] James Cebulla: of you
- [4/2/2011 1:21:59 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: james, i'll see you tomorrow.
- [4/2/2011 1:22:10 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: and james, i'm sorry. i really do love you.
- [4/2/2011 1:22:19 AM] James Cebulla: I love you kate.
- [4/2/2011 1:22:21 AM] James Cebulla: I love you so much
- [4/2/2011 1:22:24 AM] James Cebulla: i havent stopped crying
- [4/2/2011 1:22:26 AM] James Cebulla: for the past
- [4/2/2011 1:22:31 AM] James Cebulla: two hours
- [4/2/2011 1:22:32 AM] James Cebulla: in case
- [4/2/2011 1:22:33 AM] James Cebulla: you wanted to know
- [4/2/2011 1:22:38 AM] James Cebulla: it's slightly de-masculating
- [4/2/2011 1:22:38 AM] James Cebulla: but
- [4/2/2011 1:22:39 AM] James Cebulla: i really
- [4/2/2011 1:22:41 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: yeah me either, love
- [4/2/2011 1:22:41 AM] James Cebulla: could care less
- [4/2/2011 1:22:49 AM] James Cebulla: I want you to be happy
- [4/2/2011 1:22:50 AM] James Cebulla: againa
- [4/2/2011 1:22:52 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: get some sleep, ok?
- [4/2/2011 1:22:53 AM] James Cebulla: and not do fucked up shit
- [4/2/2011 1:22:56 AM] James Cebulla: you tooo
- [4/2/2011 1:22:58 AM] James Cebulla: too*
- [4/2/2011 1:23:00 AM] James Cebulla: I love you kate.
- [4/2/2011 1:23:01 AM] James Cebulla: so so much
- [4/2/2011 1:23:08 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: i love you, too, james
- [4/2/2011 1:23:18 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: sweet dreams
- [4/2/2011 1:23:22 AM] James Cebulla: sleep tight baby
- [4/2/2011 1:23:26 AM] James Cebulla: don't let the bedbugs bite
- [4/2/2011 1:23:30 AM] James Cebulla: as gigi always says every night
- [4/2/2011 1:23:37 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: i'm glad she says that.
- [4/2/2011 1:23:42 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: it's a good thing to say.
- [4/2/2011 1:23:43 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: LP
- [4/2/2011 1:23:44 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: failure
- [4/2/2011 1:23:45 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: :P
- [4/2/2011 1:23:50 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: goodnight, mister.
- [4/2/2011 1:23:50 AM] James Cebulla: hahahahahaha
- [4/2/2011 1:23:53 AM] James Cebulla: I love you so much
- [4/2/2011 1:23:54 AM] James Cebulla: words can't discribe
- [4/2/2011 1:24:00 AM] James Cebulla: goodnight pretty girl
- [4/2/2011 1:24:02 AM] James Cebulla: sleep tight.
- [4/2/2011 1:24:06 AM] James Cebulla: <3
- [4/2/2011 1:24:09 AM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: <3
- [4/3/2011 5:41:42 PM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: here.
- [4/3/2011 5:42:09 PM] James Cebulla: hey
- [4/3/2011 5:42:10 PM] James Cebulla: hold on
- [4/3/2011 5:42:19 PM] *** James Cebulla sent semiformalinvite.jpg ***
- [4/3/2011 5:42:25 PM] James Cebulla: there t issss
- [4/3/2011 5:42:40 PM] James Cebulla: im editing it now though, need to touch up the fireworks, fill in the white guys hair, change 2014 to May 14th, and add more fish
- [4/3/2011 5:42:50 PM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: i like your multi-racial dancers
- [4/3/2011 5:43:21 PM] James Cebulla: hahaha, I thought i'd throw some metco in there
- [4/3/2011 5:43:24 PM] James Cebulla: evidently they liked it
- [4/3/2011 5:43:35 PM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: well congrats
- [4/3/2011 5:44:20 PM] James Cebulla: thank you!
- [4/3/2011 5:44:25 PM] James Cebulla: I thought it was pretty neat
- [4/3/2011 5:44:47 PM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: resume-worthy, to say the least
- [4/3/2011 5:44:58 PM] James Cebulla: I think it's going on there
- [4/3/2011 5:45:01 PM] James Cebulla: regardless of where I apply
- [4/3/2011 5:45:08 PM] James Cebulla: i designed the semi formal invite for freshman
- [4/3/2011 5:45:11 PM] James Cebulla: automatic harvard invite
- [4/3/2011 5:45:25 PM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: obvi
- [4/3/2011 5:47:14 PM] James Cebulla: lawlawl
- [4/3/2011 5:47:20 PM] James Cebulla: lexie drunk texted me last night
- [4/3/2011 5:47:28 PM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: i'm glad
- [4/3/2011 5:49:19 PM] James Cebulla: I can tell by your obvious enthusiasm
- [4/3/2011 5:49:24 PM] James Cebulla: she and jorge have some issues
- [4/3/2011 5:49:28 PM] James Cebulla: pretty weird shaaat
- [4/3/2011 5:49:52 PM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: true
- [4/3/2011 5:50:42 PM] James Cebulla: Do you have a lot of work tonight((think))
- [4/3/2011 5:50:45 PM] James Cebulla: ?*
- [4/3/2011 5:50:49 PM] James Cebulla: I didn't mean to do that weird face
- [4/3/2011 5:50:50 PM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: ha
- [4/3/2011 5:50:53 PM] James Cebulla: haha
- [4/3/2011 5:50:54 PM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: but no i don't have any
- [4/3/2011 5:51:02 PM] James Cebulla: that's good, i'm glad to hear that
- [4/3/2011 5:51:08 PM] James Cebulla: Are yougoing to go to bed at a good hour?
- [4/3/2011 5:51:35 PM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: depends on what i'm doing
- [4/3/2011 5:52:43 PM] James Cebulla: oh?
- [4/3/2011 5:52:44 PM] James Cebulla: how so?
- [4/3/2011 5:52:57 PM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: if i'm doing something fun/important, i won't go to sleep
- [4/3/2011 5:53:01 PM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: like always
- [4/3/2011 5:53:20 PM] James Cebulla: hahaha, typical..
- [4/3/2011 5:53:24 PM] James Cebulla: Your liffe is a constant party
- [4/3/2011 5:53:28 PM] James Cebulla: it makes sense
- [4/3/2011 5:53:46 PM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: it's true
- [4/3/2011 5:55:50 PM] James Cebulla: so what have you been up to all da
- [4/3/2011 5:55:51 PM] James Cebulla: y
- [4/3/2011 5:55:57 PM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: i got up
- [4/3/2011 5:56:02 PM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: did some act practice tests
- [4/3/2011 5:56:11 PM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: then went for a long run with sophie
- [4/3/2011 5:56:17 PM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: came home, hung with her for a bit
- [4/3/2011 5:56:24 PM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: chilled with kimbo and glenn jay
- [4/3/2011 5:56:36 PM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: now i'm drawing and being artistic while listening to music
- [4/3/2011 5:58:42 PM] James Cebulla: sounds like a wonderfully peaceful day
- [4/3/2011 5:58:44 PM] James Cebulla: I envy you kate
- [4/3/2011 5:58:56 PM] James Cebulla: when are the act's foy ou, how long was your run, and whatre you drawingg?
- [4/3/2011 5:59:04 PM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: acts- next saturday
- [4/3/2011 5:59:09 PM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: 4 mile run
- [4/3/2011 5:59:15 PM] James Cebulla: daaaamn
- [4/3/2011 5:59:16 PM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: drawing flowers, my favorite things to draw
- [4/3/2011 5:59:33 PM] James Cebulla: really? why is that?
- [4/3/2011 5:59:47 PM] James Cebulla: have you ever tried gardening at all?
- [4/3/2011 5:59:55 PM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: yeah i garden in the summers with my mama
- [4/3/2011 6:00:01 PM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: and we've been planting flowers since i was a little girl
- [4/3/2011 6:00:27 PM] James Cebulla: that's actually reallly cool
- [4/3/2011 6:00:30 PM] James Cebulla: do you have a garden at your house
- [4/3/2011 6:00:33 PM] James Cebulla: or in nantucket, like summer hosue area
- [4/3/2011 6:00:51 PM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: yeah i have a bunch of gardens, all around my yard encompassing my house
- [4/3/2011 6:00:54 PM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: and on nantucket a lot
- [4/3/2011 6:00:55 PM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: and in florida
- [4/3/2011 6:01:20 PM] James Cebulla: in florida/
- [4/3/2011 6:01:21 PM] James Cebulla: ?
- [4/3/2011 6:01:24 PM] James Cebulla: When do you go to florida
- [4/3/2011 6:01:29 PM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: yeah my cousins have a mansion in FL
- [4/3/2011 6:01:29 PM] James Cebulla: and when it's nice out will you show me the gardens
- [4/3/2011 6:01:29 PM] James Cebulla: ?
- [4/3/2011 6:01:38 PM] James Cebulla: oh yeah yeah yeha, i remember you telling me about that
- [4/3/2011 6:01:43 PM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: we usually go in april but we can't cause i'm going college hunting
- [4/3/2011 6:01:54 PM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: and my gardens are already blooming
- [4/3/2011 6:01:59 PM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: they're trying but it's too fucking cold
- [4/3/2011 6:02:06 PM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: i love 75-80 degree days
- [4/3/2011 6:02:09 PM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: best <3
- [4/3/2011 6:02:20 PM] James Cebulla: yeah, those are my favorite days of summer, and I could see why theyre wonderful for you and your garden
- [4/3/2011 6:02:26 PM] James Cebulla: fucknig, freak blizzard messing with nature
- [4/3/2011 6:02:37 PM] James Cebulla: Could I see them when it's not so cold out and hteyre in full bloom?
- [4/3/2011 6:02:50 PM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: yeah you just walk around my yard and see them all
- [4/3/2011 6:03:34 PM] James Cebulla: That would be really cool
- [4/3/2011 6:03:43 PM] James Cebulla: When my family goes to cape cod we spend hours taking pictures of flowers
- [4/3/2011 6:03:44 PM] James Cebulla: that we find all over it
- [4/3/2011 6:03:56 PM] James Cebulla: does your yard have crocuses?
- [4/3/2011 6:03:58 PM] James Cebulla: I think i'm spelling that right
- [4/3/2011 6:04:06 PM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: not sure
- [4/3/2011 6:04:11 PM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: it depends on what we plant, too
- [4/3/2011 6:05:07 PM] James Cebulla: mm, for my family, crocuses are the first sign of spring, when they sprout up
- [4/3/2011 6:05:11 PM] James Cebulla: I love seeing them
- [4/3/2011 6:05:17 PM] James Cebulla: What did you plant in your garden?
- [4/3/2011 6:05:25 PM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: haven't planted any yet so far
- [4/3/2011 6:05:33 PM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: just the annual ones are there
- [4/3/2011 6:05:36 PM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: daffodils are up
- [4/3/2011 6:07:07 PM] James Cebulla: Well that's good
- [4/3/2011 6:07:10 PM] James Cebulla: Daffodils are always pleasant
- [4/3/2011 6:07:17 PM] James Cebulla: What are you planning on planting
- [4/3/2011 6:07:19 PM] James Cebulla: ?
- [4/3/2011 6:07:27 PM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: no idea yet
- [4/3/2011 6:07:31 PM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: that's sort of up to what mama buys
- [4/3/2011 6:08:41 PM] James Cebulla: Kimberly is a trustworthy woman
- [4/3/2011 6:08:45 PM] James Cebulla: do you ever go with her and input choices?\
- [4/3/2011 6:08:57 PM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: yup
- [4/3/2011 6:17:55 PM] James Cebulla: I have to go eat dinner
- [4/3/2011 6:17:55 PM] James Cebulla: bbl
- [4/3/2011 6:17:58 PM] James Cebulla: Love you
- [4/4/2011 9:13:25 PM] James Cebulla: hi
- [4/4/2011 9:15:14 PM] James Cebulla: yo
- [4/4/2011 9:15:31 PM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: howdy
- [4/4/2011 9:15:40 PM] James Cebulla: how was your shower
- [4/4/2011 9:15:42 PM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: hows lol?
- [4/4/2011 9:15:45 PM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: op
- [4/4/2011 9:15:46 PM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: it was good
- [4/4/2011 9:15:51 PM] James Cebulla: hahaha
- [4/4/2011 9:15:54 PM] James Cebulla: LoL is wonderous
- [4/4/2011 9:16:04 PM] James Cebulla: fun as usual
- [4/4/2011 9:16:07 PM] James Cebulla: so, logistics
- [4/4/2011 9:16:26 PM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: quite
- [4/4/2011 9:16:27 PM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: yes yes
- [4/4/2011 9:16:58 PM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: basically since this is take 2 for us, i feel like laying down the rules early is probably a good thing. in not a control-freak way like it just sounded. fuck. but you know what i mean. or if not, speak up.
- [4/4/2011 9:17:33 PM] James Cebulla: yeah
- [4/4/2011 9:17:38 PM] James Cebulla: like, so nothing fuckerish happens
- [4/4/2011 9:17:38 PM] James Cebulla: and everything is good
- [4/4/2011 9:17:41 PM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: yup
- [4/4/2011 9:17:41 PM] James Cebulla: and layed out
- [4/4/2011 9:17:55 PM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: so, if i may, i'd like to propose a blueprint of whatever this is
- [4/4/2011 9:17:58 PM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: sound reasonable?
- [4/4/2011 9:18:04 PM] James Cebulla: sounds wonderful
- [4/4/2011 9:18:07 PM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: lovely
- [4/4/2011 9:18:43 PM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: ok. so, as of now (and these can always change. but i feel like starting with a clear baseline is better than doing what i did before. which was nothing.)
- [4/4/2011 9:18:51 PM] James Cebulla: yeah
- [4/4/2011 9:18:56 PM] James Cebulla: we need to make sure
- [4/4/2011 9:18:57 PM] James Cebulla: we're both cleaer
- [4/4/2011 9:18:59 PM] James Cebulla: and what we are
- [4/4/2011 9:19:01 PM] James Cebulla: what we're doing
- [4/4/2011 9:19:01 PM] James Cebulla: and how we do it
- [4/4/2011 9:19:12 PM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: yes
- [4/4/2011 9:19:16 PM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: so if you let me, i'll proceed
- [4/4/2011 9:19:16 PM] James Cebulla: so, your blueprint.
- [4/4/2011 9:19:18 PM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: quite
- [4/4/2011 9:19:19 PM] James Cebulla: hahaha sorry
- [4/4/2011 9:19:21 PM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: alright
- [4/4/2011 9:19:22 PM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: so here it goes
- [4/4/2011 9:21:42 PM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: i feel like for a bit we should lay low, and not be all pda and shit. because no one likes that. and i'm still figuring a lot of stuff out on my own right now, and i don't think that being in a relationship is a good idea for me. right now, at least. i think that hooking up is fine... and friendship is the most important. because honestly, all of the things that we described on why we missed each other weren't the physical things. they were all the emotional things. and i feel like we're perfectly capable of the physical things (because, let's face it, we're both really horny right now and could fuck anything that walks), but it's the emotional things that we're gonna have to work at. but so if we take things slow, not tell people that we're together or any of that shit, and just be happy, that's the best starting line i can think of. thoughts?
- [4/4/2011 9:23:10 PM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: questions? comments? complaints? SPEAK, CHILD. now's the time to speak!
- [4/4/2011 9:23:12 PM] James Cebulla: sorry , was still reading
- [4/4/2011 9:23:13 PM] James Cebulla: hhahahahah
- [4/4/2011 9:23:17 PM] James Cebulla: i like it alot actually
- [4/4/2011 9:23:29 PM] James Cebulla: to me, it makes a lot of sense, every point you listed is 100% valid
- [4/4/2011 9:23:33 PM] James Cebulla: I dont really see anything I would change
- [4/4/2011 9:23:44 PM] James Cebulla: i think it's 100% fine to lay low and figure shit out
- [4/4/2011 9:23:47 PM] James Cebulla: i agree with the hornhy as fuck thing
- [4/4/2011 9:23:52 PM] James Cebulla: i see nothing wrong with this blueprint
- [4/4/2011 9:24:01 PM] James Cebulla: if it needs further revision later
- [4/4/2011 9:24:02 PM] James Cebulla: we can change
- [4/4/2011 9:24:03 PM] James Cebulla: it
- [4/4/2011 9:24:05 PM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: yup
- [4/4/2011 9:24:28 PM] James Cebulla: we can still hug in public though right
- [4/4/2011 9:24:30 PM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: but i feel like besties + sex will be fun, but not as binding
- [4/4/2011 9:24:38 PM] James Cebulla: yeah
- [4/4/2011 9:24:40 PM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: HUGGING = the best form of pda
- [4/4/2011 9:24:46 PM] James Cebulla: there are too many obligations involved with a relationship
- [4/4/2011 9:24:47 PM] James Cebulla: especially with us
- [4/4/2011 9:24:49 PM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: you better hug me a lot
- [4/4/2011 9:24:50 PM] James Cebulla: and our turmoils
- [4/4/2011 9:24:52 PM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: yeah
- [4/4/2011 9:24:55 PM] James Cebulla: hahaha, there's nothing I would rather do more
- [4/4/2011 9:25:02 PM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: freshman + junior = complex as FUCK
- [4/4/2011 9:25:34 PM] James Cebulla: agreed hahah
- [4/4/2011 9:25:46 PM] James Cebulla: and
- [4/4/2011 9:25:54 PM] James Cebulla: it worked really nicely when we just stayed super physical, but didn't relationship
- [4/4/2011 9:26:03 PM] James Cebulla: i mean, but I still enjoy being around you
- [4/4/2011 9:26:04 PM] James Cebulla: and talking to you
- [4/4/2011 9:26:10 PM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: yeah
- [4/4/2011 9:26:15 PM] James Cebulla: like i dont wana just be lips and a dick
- [4/4/2011 9:26:19 PM] James Cebulla: and you're not just boobs and a vagina
- [4/4/2011 9:26:23 PM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: yeah
- [4/4/2011 9:26:29 PM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: i mean, hooking up is dandy
- [4/4/2011 9:26:31 PM] James Cebulla: but keep it mostly private
- [4/4/2011 9:26:33 PM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: and you're a swell guy
- [4/4/2011 9:26:41 PM] James Cebulla: what's our buisness is our buisness
- [4/4/2011 9:26:44 PM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: but i feel like we're both sort of ready to move on, in a way
- [4/4/2011 9:26:47 PM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: but yeah
- [4/4/2011 9:26:58 PM] Katelyn Abigail Engler: we don't need other people's opinions, ok? don't forget that.
- [4/4/2011 9:27:01 PM] James Cebulla: yeah
- [4/4/2011 9:27:03 PM] James Cebulla: 100%
- [4/4/2011 9:27:06 PM] James Cebulla: thats what happened last time
- [4/4/2011 9:27:08 PM] James Cebulla: it still is happening to me
- [4/4/2011 9:27:12 PM] James Cebulla: but i'm not listening to one bit
- [4/4/2011 9:27:15 PM] James Cebulla: of it
- [4/4/2011 9:27:19 PM] James Cebulla: without proper
- [4/4/2011 9:27:20 PM] James Cebulla: consideration
- [4/4/2011 9:27:54 PM] James Cebulla: it's your opinion
- [4/4/2011 9:27:54 PM] James Cebulla: and mine
- [4/4/2011 9:27:56 PM] James Cebulla: combined
- [4/4/2011 9:27:58 PM] James Cebulla: that formulate decisions
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