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  1. We find our heroes on a midwinter day
  2.  
  3. New to the game, just starting to play
  4.  
  5. Thrust headfirst into an ambush for dorks
  6.  
  7. Accosted by clouds of arrows let loose by Orcs
  8.  
  9.  
  10. They chose different methods some quick and some clever
  11.  
  12. From corpses to fey-stepping to zig zagging they endeavored
  13.  
  14. Volley and volley they endured, they were quite brave.
  15.  
  16. Until one wizard spotted a cave.
  17.  
  18.  
  19. The Tiefling rose up from the muck
  20.  
  21. Tried to look up and shouted “Oh Fuck!”
  22.  
  23. She had run straight by no reason nor rhyme
  24.  
  25. And was nearing the orcs, quite out of time
  26.  
  27.  
  28. The wizard thought quickly and winked out of sight
  29.  
  30. She quickly brought the Tiefling up to speed in the fight
  31.  
  32. She showed her the way to the cave covered in vines
  33.  
  34. The door was festooned with strange ancient lines
  35.  
  36.  
  37. Soon as they pull out the arrows stuck in their greaves
  38.  
  39. The Halfling and Dragonborn became as thick as thieves
  40.  
  41. The cover they chose turned out to be quite shoddy
  42.  
  43. So thinking quickly, they hefted a body.I
  44.  
  45.  
  46. Charging across the open field, arrows flying this way and that
  47.  
  48. They soon passed the Tiefling who kept falling with a splat
  49.  
  50. Once our heroes caught up with each other they did something quite brave
  51.  
  52. To put it very simply, they went into the cave.
  53.  
  54.  
  55. It was a dark dingy and dastardly place
  56.  
  57. The Tiefling gave quiet thanks for her mace
  58.  
  59. They dallied and dillied then the wizard with great insight
  60.  
  61. Spoke forgotten words and summoned a ghost-light
  62.  
  63.  
  64. Something within the next room squelched
  65.  
  66. Followed shortly by the sound of a belch
  67.  
  68. All it desired was to get them in it’s belly
  69.  
  70. The heroes had startled the feared Ochre Jelly
  71.  
  72.  
  73. At first they attempted to sneak past
  74.  
  75. Though they ended up moving too fast
  76.  
  77. And their sneaking turned out to be shoddy
  78.  
  79. Thinking quickly… they hacked up a body
  80.  
  81.  
  82.  
  83. But alas the Jelly was not to be bought
  84.  
  85. Seeking solace in simply being fought
  86.  
  87. They thrust, parried, dived, and jumped
  88.  
  89. The jelly seemed to be getting quite pumped
  90.  
  91.  
  92. They decided to loony , a rare thing indeed
  93.  
  94. And discovered and found a way to succeed
  95.  
  96. An ancient statue guarded this dark pit
  97.  
  98. So our heroes simply decided to smash it
  99.  
  100.  
  101. They plugged up the jelly averting the danger
  102.  
  103. Gone temporarily, it would be no stranger
  104.  
  105. They ventured further in with care and finesse
  106.  
  107. Save for the wizard who blundered straight into duress
  108.  
  109.  
  110. Prayers were said, wounds were healed
  111.  
  112. Fortunately the Jelly had not yet congealed.
  113.  
  114. They looted the cave for baubles and maps
  115.  
  116. And left it, this time checking carefully for traps.
  117.  
  118.  
  119. They journeyed a few days to the down of Indelshire
  120.  
  121. When they got there they found it had been set on fire.
  122.  
  123. The Orcs had come through and slaughtered all but Eenus
  124.  
  125. Who was certainly not too concerned with his cleanness
  126.  
  127.  
  128. It transpired that he was the mayor, sheriff and barkeep
  129.  
  130. It seemed that his mental state was skewed quite deep
  131.  
  132. They chatted with him and then he took them to see Stan
  133.  
  134. Stan and Eenus as it transpired turned out the same man
  135.  
  136.  
  137. They left Indelshire and headed for the city
  138.  
  139. When they were approached by a creature no larger than a kitty
  140.  
  141. Hobbs was his name a Homunculi creaturey
  142.  
  143. His short stature was not his most prominent feature
  144.  
  145.  
  146. The Adventurers welcomed him with open arms
  147.  
  148. Proving quite susceptible to his miniature charms
  149.  
  150. They gave him a sock and a bottle of gin
  151.  
  152. And he curled up happily wearing a grin
  153.  
  154.  
  155. From there they traveled to Renin Falls
  156.  
  157. Capital City, filled to the brim with Alehouses and Strip Malls
  158.  
  159. They were greeted quite cordially by the guards at the gate
  160.  
  161. Who informed them that death was their fate
  162.  
  163.  
  164.  
  165. Fortunately one of the guards was a friend
  166.  
  167. He quickly brought the evil guard to an end
  168.  
  169. They were whisked down some tunnels and into the haven
  170.  
  171. Of their new found friends the Knights of the Raven
  172.  
  173.  
  174. Lady Raven was the leader of the bunch
  175.  
  176. She had contacted them purely on a hunch
  177.  
  178. That they are the embodiment of warriors long gone
  179.  
  180. Able to wield magic with skill and possessing great brawn
  181.  
  182.  
  183. The war was coming, between gods no less
  184.  
  185. The Raven Queen was running out of subjects to bless
  186.  
  187. Orcus was awakening his minions spreading
  188.  
  189. The Second Dark Age was what they were dreading
  190.  
  191.  
  192. The first mission the Lady Raven bestowed
  193.  
  194. Was to adventure and travel up the road
  195.  
  196. To a site most innocuous where the road forks
  197.  
  198. A perfect place no less to ambush some Orcs.
  199.  
  200.  
  201. The Cleric and Mage took refuge behind boulders
  202.  
  203. The Halfling gave up her position on the Lady Dragon’s shoulders
  204.  
  205. The Dragonborns decision at first greatly confused me
  206.  
  207. She simply decided to dress up as a tree
  208.  
  209.  
  210. The Orcs never did know exactly what hit them
  211.  
  212. The Halfing lodged her daggers in their brain stem
  213.  
  214. The Dragonborn slashed and smashed them to pieces
  215.  
  216. While the Wizzard shot bolts and badgers and other magical releases
  217.  
  218.  
  219. The Cleric tried out her newfound crossbow
  220.  
  221. And skillfully felled Orcs with a single blow
  222.  
  223. Both the Orcs and their numerous fleas
  224.  
  225. Would never forget the day they were ambushed by trees
  226.  
  227.  
  228. Shortly thereafter a new ally emerged
  229.  
  230. A drunked raven from the forest surged
  231.  
  232. A Shifter he was and a good one to boot
  233.  
  234. Except that when shifting he kept loosing his suit
  235.  
  236.  
  237. They eventually ventured back to the lair
  238.  
  239. Where they slumped exhausted into chairs
  240.  
  241. Little more than a minute after their arrival
  242.  
  243. They were told another task was integral to their survival
  244.  
  245.  
  246.  
  247. The next daunting task that was bestowed
  248.  
  249. To venture post haste to the enemies abode
  250.  
  251. And determine if they were Priests of the Dark Lord
  252.  
  253. To help them shed more blood than they could afford
  254.  
  255.  
  256. First came the great giant Dim
  257.  
  258. Whose disposition was rather quite Grim
  259.  
  260. They found him sloshing about in a bar
  261.  
  262. Our heroes then watched him from afar
  263.  
  264.  
  265. When it was decided to be right
  266.  
  267. They moved in for a fight
  268.  
  269. But it turned into a drinking game
  270.  
  271. Until the Halfling could barely remember her name
  272.  
  273.  
  274. They staggered to an alley
  275.  
  276. Where mustering a huge rally
  277.  
  278. The Heroes convinced Dim
  279.  
  280. That they were really with him
  281.  
  282.  
  283. The Halfings broken fingers mended
  284.  
  285. Her pain was finally ended
  286.  
  287. They set off to find the Half-Elf
  288.  
  289. Who was quite good at hiding herself
  290.  
  291.  
  292. They found her lair
  293.  
  294. In a chest next to the chair
  295.  
  296. Alas she was not there
  297.  
  298. But presumably elsewhere
  299.  
  300.  
  301. They then segued in favor of Greg
  302.  
  303. Who was found in a local keg
  304.  
  305. They tried to seduce him with sex
  306.  
  307. Though it transpired he was far more complex
  308.  
  309.  
  310. He had passed c the lay
  311.  
  312. And he swore he wasn’t gay
  313.  
  314. The Cleric was wooed
  315.  
  316. A nice change for her usual mood
  317.  
  318.  
  319. They then hunted the rogue Half-Elf
  320.  
  321. Returning to the land she made herself
  322.  
  323. They broke in her back door
  324.  
  325. And lay in wait under the floor
  326.  
  327.  
  328. She came down the chute
  329.  
  330. The heroes efforts were moot
  331.  
  332. She laughed at their attempt
  333.  
  334. And struck back with contempt
  335.  
  336.  
  337. Bolts flew magic crackled and blades sung
  338.  
  339. She was easily eluding the trap that had been sprung
  340.  
  341. The cleric chose to sketch the fight rather than help
  342.  
  343. But when she finally did help the Half-Elf went down with a yelp
  344.  
  345.  
  346. A broken bolt, a mace
  347.  
  348. A Magic Missile to the side of her face
  349.  
  350. Each hero contributed to her demise
  351.  
  352. And they moved on as the life left her eyes
  353.  
  354.  
  355. Then they went for Dim
  356.  
  357. Who was asleep with his harlot Kim
  358.  
  359. They jumped him in his sleep
  360.  
  361. He crumpled in a heap
  362.  
  363.  
  364. A dagger sticking out from his eye
  365.  
  366. They said their good-bye
  367.  
  368. They had put him in his place
  369.  
  370. On the floor, head smashed in with a mace
  371.  
  372.  
  373. Our heroes returned, bringing Greg with them
  374.  
  375. The Lady Raven was quick to condemn
  376.  
  377. But the heroes quickly gave proof
  378.  
  379. And Greg earned his place under their roof
  380.  
  381.  
  382. Alas each heroic tale must have an end
  383.  
  384. In this case the game failed to trend
  385.  
  386. Though abandoning was not our intention
  387.  
  388. Our heroes will wander without our intervention
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