The MLP Chronicles, Chapter 1[HD]- A Whole New Bucking World

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NOTE FROM THE WRITER:

The MLP Chronicles is somewhat long. Like, 400+ pages long. Maybe more, I'm not gonna recheck it.

That ISN'T to say that the quantity overtakes the quality.
If you aren't prepared to dive into some ridiculous story about ponies and more parodies than you can shake a Gundam at, I'll give you the choice of clicking out of this, and reading Red Rum Cake or some other fanfic.

*There will be clop.* You will find "light" clop in Chapter Six, and the ironically and infamously named Chapter Seven. Chapter Seven is, for the most part, skippable to retain the story, but has key points in there to deepen the relationships of certain ponies.

This story will contain parodies and references, a LOT of them. Do not let them intimidate you if you don't know them. Google is your friend if you want in on the joke, and I hope to Nayru that you get at least most of them.

There is death, and gore. Don't worry, this isn't a disgusting pile of murder- that's what my other stories are for. ;)

Sit back, prepare yourself if you need to, and enjoy a good story.

-Tyko
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> inb4 I'm not going to be using greentext after this
> inb4 I just did it anyways by saying I am not following the classic humor
> I'm a faggot for typing this at all, I eat cocks
> I just used it again, fuck
DAMNIT, STOP IMPLYING.
FUCK, I DON'T KNOW HOW TO TYPE A STORY WITHOUT GREENTEXTING
> Alright, I'm back here again
> Time to write a story, generating blank white biome
> Inserting consciousness, welcome to the Matrix
> Creating Setting, 5%
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> 10%
> 25%
> 35%
> 50%
> 70%
> 72%
> 73%
> Jesus, this is slow
> 90%
> Fuckyeah.jpg
> 98%
> 100%, Rendering World....
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> “God damnit, you need to HANG IN THERE!”
> “Someone put the IV in, we’re losing him again!”
> “Anon, please, … in there!”
> “… need room, … …”
> “ Get … … …”
> “…”
-----
> “I will be waiting for you in due time; after all, I am you, and you… are.. me.”
-----
> ... Well, then.
> Alright, you know this is the most plant picking obvious question in the world, but...
> Where in the panty drying hell are you?
> You’re in the middle of what appears to be this amazing field of grass, happily lying on your ass.
> You're a poet and didn't know it, if you're serene, you certainly don’t show it.
> As if you’re in the middle of Boston in the colonial ages, you can’t help but feel out of place, with good reason. Scratching the back of your head, you’re doing a fine job not mentally collapsing from the sight around you.
> You swore you haven’t had any LSD today, but you’re still witnessing the liveliest creations ever. It’s almost comparable to the one time you tried shrooms, and ended up foaming from the mouth on the floor .
> And saw the universe in the carpet. The spiraling cosmos, the galloping reach of stars just beyond your reach, how wondrous the image was as snot was hanging out of your nostrils and tongue tasting the carpeting.
> It was a glorious sight, you assure the viewers.
> Here, take a look at this grass, it’s outrageously cartoonish; but the detail put into it is superb, phenomenal even, that's for sure.
> You wonder if Shigeru Miyamoto himself stole the design right out of this scene, fancying himself some high definition quality of cartoon oriented grass
> You look around, expecting the short Japanese man himself trotting along, snipping at the field here with a pair of little blue safety scissors.
> Sadly he did not appear, but his spirit lives on within you.
> It'd be one hell of fancy Zelda game, nonetheless. The Legend of Zelda: The Windwaker HD Cartoon Edition
> They’d make millions, hundreds of millions easily. The stores would be fending off customers with brooms and bamboo sticks, much as they wished to accommodate their money wielding adversaries.
> However, you can’t pull away from the fact that it’s not even a natural shade of green grass, as you grab a small handful of it... only to-!
> HOLY SHIT YOUR HAND!
> MINDBLOWN.flv
> Peering closely your absurd appendage you once was faithful enough to call your hand, it's almost a cel shaded tint to what you originally thought you were born with.
> You know, flesh and the other frittery details. Mostly flesh though, of course. Water, that too.
> But this, this! You look like you’ve went off the deep end, donned some rubber gloves and dipped your hand into a flashy and daresay quite expensive paint, logging this in your head as you twirl your fingers about.
> You give the phalanges the old 1980s drug search pat down, feeling up for details while treating this new event as if it's stashing marijuana in a crease between the fingers.
> Feels normal, as regular as it gets anyways, but by Neptune that is the queerest thing you’ve seen all day, in which you admit has only been a few minutes.
> You wiggle your fingers in a daring pose, as if it's going to shoot web from some miraculous spider bite related event, in which you’re sorely disappointed.
“WHERE (and what) in Super Mario World AM I?”
> You glance around for any other odd occurrences, paranoid at the situation, and brave enough to admit you’re quite giggity at the outlandish setting you’ve been given the poor luck of being dropped in.
> The gods are a most mysterious bunch, as you evaluate the situation as you best see it.
> So you've humbly diagnosed you’re in a field.
> Ok, let’s start the questionnaire there. Why in God's fury are you in a field; you were napping in the car not even ten minutes ago, were you not?
> Was it because you forgot to say grace the last time you ordered pizza? If so, you solemnly swear to hail the great Mary at least five times before you eat pizza again- if it gets you out of this eccentric environment.
> Wait… did you say you were riding something, a vehicle perhaps? Were you actually riding… or driving? That's an important detail there, almost as terrible a point to miss than to use the Oxford Comma.
> ...
> Why can’t you recall this, you’d think this is something crucial to keep in thought.
> The vents in the back of your mind opens, as you imagine yourself balancing upon a leaf floating in a river, the wind caressing you as you transpire to acknowledgement.
> Entering Sage Mode of Remembering Shit
> Time itself slows to a minimum, the world around you darkens as your soul and body blend into one divine being, at last becoming one with the planet you’ve fought so hard to save in previous games.
> The information you seek formulates before you, materializing into a box that you open…
> 404 Memory not found
> …
> Yeah, you got nothing; your head is an empty hole in a pitch black cave as of right now.
> Looks like the hamster usually spinning the wheel in your head is recovering from a stroke, the poor thing.
> Alright, you lightly slap each side of your cheeks as you view off to the distance, trying to see if this is about to turn into a animate cartoon version of survival
> You are with most certainty of close proximity to a forest.
> By forest, you mean an extravagant number of trees; how can that many trees be in one location?
> Is there an appropriate name for something beyond the state of being a forest, tree population wise? You humor yourself with witty names like Treeclump or Super Forest.
> Oh, to hell with the damned forest! What else in Hillary Clinton’s acting career is around here?
> If you stare intently at a mountain far off in the distance, you swear you can see something jutting off the side, although at a different angle it could very well be the backside of Mount Rushmore.
> Banking on the former part of the observation, the image clicks with a memory of sorts in the back of your head.
> Is that....? Cor blimey, it’s Mt. Fuji, you ARE in Japan, finally! No, wait…
> NAHHHHHHH, that’s impossibru!
> You’re getting even more neurotic at what just may be the situation, which quite frankly is a bit of a sketch already.
> At least it’s daytime for, be your luck, monsters or zombies come out at night to do their moonlit strolls, reveling in the grass in their undead throes of happiness and grunting sounds.
> Or worse... creepers. The very thought of encountering those is enough to put a shimmy in your jimmies.
> What in Nayru’s name? With a lurch from your stomach, you have a sudden craving for pizza.
> Forget pizza, anything that looks succulent is fit for your personal menu, for as a humble creature, you’d live off rats if it meant survival.
> Admittedly, you're ready to eat your well stitched shoes, they look especially edible despite the lively color to them.
> In silent agreement you note that they may be more tasty than this weirdass grass, anyhow.
-----
> So you decide to enter the plethoric candyland of trees, which is just screaming the title “forest of lame ass boringness”. It seems like a fitting name for this wooden hell.
> If this area is unexplored, that’s totally what the name is gonna be.
> You've yet to reason why you wanted to enter this forest, because it was, how to explain...
> A FOREST. It’s trees, and dirt, and more trees. More. Trees.
> In desperation you tell yourself “maybe you'll find food”, for you already chewed on your left sneaker and deemed it not delicious.
> You continue through this maze, perfect for the darkspawn themselves, for a couple hours, and you continue to remark how trees are everywhere, as previously stated.
> You chastise yourself again for being so blunt with your hatred of trees. Of course there’s trees, it’s a forest.
> “The forest of lame ass boringness”.
> Your abhorrence for forests is beyond sound conclusion, for even a desert sounds appealing at this point.
> You decide to take a break, so you may humbly gnaw at your arm.
> Who needs arms? Useless limb for the sake of survival seems fair.
> Just a flesh wound!
> Upon resting for a minute, you see a lifeform that isn’t pure vegetation. Marvelous!
> An innocent little rabbit hopping along, it pauses to stare at you, curiosity posing in its eyes.
> Whiskers twitching with its nose, it’s in awe of what sight beholds it; just the same with you.
> Thank you god, for what you found.
> It looks as confused as Neil Patrick Harris at a Playboy convention. That’s very confused, my friends.
> Too lethargic to care what it’s actually thinking, you take a shot at conversation.
“What, never seen a human before?”
> After a moment’s hesitation, it shakes its head, amused by the fact you can vocalize consistently.
> Alright, time to reassess this bizarre scene; you’re in a cartoon setting in the middle of the most lovely of woods,
> And rabbits can comprehend human language.
> Ignoring this conundrum, you have one simple and very reasonable thing in mind.
> With even persuasion, maybe it too will realize your understanding and help you out?
> With that, you stand up, stretch a bit, and kneel down with hand extended, a kind gesture complete with that smooth silver tongue.
“Pleasure to meet ya, Mr. Rabbit. Name’s Anon, Anon Anon.”
> You pray to higher powers that it manages fairly.
> Again, it hesitates, nervousness clearly evident on its cute and cuddly face, before giving into the sweet scented bait, hobbling forward to take your hand.
> WRONG MOVE YOU LITTLE LUNCHABLE
> You launch skyward and turn airborne, a winged demon from the bowels of hell, flying down on its unaware prey.
> As if you could envelope the embodiment of evil itself in physical form, you strike unholy fear into the furry critter, paralyzing it where it stands.
> The victory is YOURS
> For comedic effect, slow motion occurs as you close in on your soon to be snacktime.
“FOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD!”
-----
> Anon used Body Slam!
> Anon’s attacked missed!
> Rabbit fled!
> RUH ROH RAGGY
------
> Wise on the very impressive move you made, the furry missile took off at lightning speed!
> No, it’s going ludicrous speed!
> Foaming at the mouth, the foul image you’ve conjured over yourself has decided hunger is a higher priority than the blow you just took to the crotch, the bruises unseeingly taking hold.
> Howling in the air with a sound that would make Mike Tyson shit himself, you take off like the maddened beast you are.
“AWOOOOOOOGHA!”
> You floor it across the terrain, dodging trees like Yoda fending off Senator seats from Emperor Palpatine.
> My goodness, observing yourself, doing acrobatics in ways you would otherwise consider unheard of, has left you stunned in your own physical beauty.
> You were never this agile in ...
> Real life?
> Does that make this fantasy?
> Before you introduce a Queen song into this story, you blast ahead, slowly closing the gap with the scared senseless rabbit.
> Warning: Left Lung is preparing to collapse
> WARNING: Left Lung said to “blow off”, and collapsed
> Soon you both end up on a dirt trail, with you wheezing as much oxygen as your lungs can possibly acquire.
> Either a horde of rabbits love parading in a straight line, or there's life nearby.
> Guess what, rabbits? You’ve been added to list of “things to despise”, next to trees.
> The greater being that brought rabbits into existence deserves a mocking blow to the face.
> The nuisance is long gone down the groove, and you're staggering after it, an old man chasing the bingo van.
> Your glorious run turns into a modest jog.
> Your splendid jog is now a normal walk.
> Your not as efficient walk evolved into a zombie walk.
> You know, crawling on all fours sounds like an excellent idea.
> While you appreciate the theory of evolution now, the all fours idea was one to be scrapped.
------
> As unknown forces suggested you to do so, you're now slugging your happy backside down a dirt trail to an unclear destination.
> Doing so, in the wildest notion that the fucking rabbit was heading to some sort of civilization.
> Maybe it was returning to its rabbit war tribe, and it's coming back with a group to hunt you down.
> What is a group of rabbits called, a herd?
> You begin arguing with yourself. A herd, a husk, or a down, depending on the situation, you nitwit.
> Don’t call me a nitwit, you pantsy cobblegobber!
> With a grunt of both exhaustion and defeat, you collapse on the ground in the fullest extent possible, your solemn face massaging the dirt.
> Oh, it hurts so tenderly, but it feels so goooood.
> In the throes of becoming delirious, you strike up a conversation with the ground.
"'Ello dirt, I'm Anon. Don' suppose you got food to spare?"
> Lolnope.jpg
> Your eyes begin growing fuzzy, you soon realize that you’re going for a nappy wappy in due time.
> Despite the lack of minimal thinking, you manage to ponder on the thought of you dreaming within a dream.
> DOUBLE INCEPTION
> The world around begins to swirl, slowly fading to black.
> Better black than white, you mentally blurt, with that conclusion that it generally means you're parting to the great beyond.
> As you venture off to the wonderful land of unconsciousness, you hear one last thing, a soft voice in your ear.
> "Oh my, are you ok? You look tired.."
"Mrrrrghlllghr..."
> And that's all you had to note on that subject.
> Bloody rabbits.
-----
> “He’s stable, but at this rate, his heart might plummet again. We need to continue to monitor his cardiovascular activity.”
> “That’s fine, just make sure he’s given the proper dosage of the allotted medication.”
-----
> As that phase of your life closes, it appears to be some time later.
> You smell the intense smell of nature, which by nature you mean the scent of animals.
> Did you accidently take a wrong turn to heaven? Because the notion of obtaining cooked meat sounds splendid at the moment.
> Goodness, you wouldn’t complain a single bit if it was raw, you need the iron anyways.
> "Oh, are you awake now? I hope you slept ok..."
> Mom? Oh please say it's mom, how you miss her voice already.
> With freshly cooked bacon and banana laced waffles, the sweet scent of cholesterol and vitamin C.
> You open your eyes groggily and let things slowly take in the clarity around you.
> If you didn't need to use the bathroom before, you certainly are about to lose control of your sphincter.
> Alright, it's still cartoonish, that's perfectly acceptable for the time being.
> However, there is a pink mane pony within three inches of your face, smiling in the slightest degree of awkwardness.
> This is not as acceptable.
"AWWOOOOBAWOOO!"
> You relocate yourself from what appears to be a makeshift bed in a manner of speed that's beyond reasoning, ending up top of a shabby wooden cabinet.
> Why in the rocking world of Jimmy Hendrix are you in this dreadful garb cloth?
> Where is your clothes, you were attached to them like you would your eyebrows; sure, you don’t absolutely need them, but they’re surely splendid to have nonetheless!
> It's WAY too breezy in here, ol’ faithful down there is going to catch a cold at this rate.
> ... It's weird, but you like it.
> The pony is now squealing in a high pitched voice before she lodges herself under the bed frame.
> After yelling nonsensical sentences, you pause for breath, in which so does she.
> It's quiet for a moment, and the hope for serenity becomes plausible.
> Lolnotgonnahappen.gif
> Screw that, you shriek like a little girl again.
-----
> So does she, because apparently it's the popular fad nowadays.
> She can only get half of her body under the furniture, her hinds sticking out in plain view.
> Dat ass
> Alright, through deductive reasoning, she's not going to eat you. Like you would let her devour you, anyways.
> By this logic, you discontinue the yelling, but remain in a tactical spot on top of her cabinet.
> It's a very thought out position, to be honest, and you compliment yourself for somehow getting up here in the first place, not to mention in the time given to you.
> Waitaminute
> You recognize that flank and tail anywhere, is that a natural ... cutie mark?
> Oh ho ho ho ho, you know what that is, but that’s simply wacky! That would make this...
> Nuh uhhhh, nuh uh! It's totally irrational, but the logic in that is..
> ... perfectly acceptable, considering the setting.
> You understand now. YOU KNOWWWW.
> The Forest, the douchebag rabbit, the mountain with the thing off the side;
> You indubitably saw Canterlot before realizing you're in...
"My titty fucking god, I'm in Equestria."
> If this was an episode, this is where the theme song and logo would whack your face
> You sit down on the cabinet, dazed.
> Your crotch is enjoying the liberation from cloth now, that's for sure.
> It feels good, man, it feels good.
> The pony sticks her head out from under the bed, giving a worried but blank stare.
> "U-uhm, yes... this is Equestria.. Ponyville really, but... who.. who are you?"
> Eh.. curse your life. You're ready to bust a nut over whatever the heck is going on.
> Alright, remain cool, just accept the situation and pretend everything is not ragingly upside down.
-----
> Your third eye opens, and you see a world of possible opportunity.
> If this is a lucid dream, it's definitely an enjoyable one.
> If it's not, well, how do you say…
> WOOT!
> Well, that’s what you tell yourself, at least. You seriously hope you're in a dream right now. Life without everything else would be, well...
> Back to the situation at hand.
> "Name's Anon, and as you're probably wondering right now, I'm not exactly anything you quite seen before."
> Be your luck, this ”reality”, or whatever you wish to call it, has the Horde from the Warcraft series invading.
> They do both have talking cows.
> She departs herself from under the bed, choosing instead to sit uneasily on the floor.
> "W-well, not exactly... is that bad...?"
> You tilt your head, analyzing the pony before you. You observe her face; embarrassed with your intense stare, a wild blush forms on her otherwise sleek yellow face.
> Fidgeting with anxiety, she doesn’t know whether to smile or frown, upset that you’re now farther away from her, yet terrified you’ll come closer.
> A sweat begins working on your brow, as you try to swallow both your saliva and the sight of this most beautiful pony before you.
> Oh sweet Fluttershy, thou dost adore thee,
> How you always loved her innocent nature before.
> But in person, this has become a glorious gift from the mighty Spaghetti Monster itself.
------
> Focusing on the question posed at you, you rest a hand on your chin, speculation of this situation flashing through your pupils, a glint of mystery in your eyes captivating her.
> "Of course not, Fluttershy. I should be the only one of my kind in this world, after all."
> Did you just leave a burning bag of dog poo on her grandma's grave or something?
> The look she gave was one of utmost horror and confusion.
> "H-h-h-ow did you know my name?!"
> Pokerface.jpg
> What in Din’s fire do you say to that?
> "You are a figment of my imagination"?
> You think so, anyways... is she truly, though?
> Huh, this is like a bout of hardcore psychology now, the theories of mental pigmentation flashing through your head.
"Sorry, I don't know if I can explain well, but I know almost everyone here. How long have I been zonked out?"
> "Well, about, uhm... 2 days?"
> Well then, she's been taking care of you and your animated body for two days.
> You’re also in a makeshift toga that is not your clothes.
> Lolwaitaminutehere.gif
------
> Covering your mouth for a moment in anticipation, you decide to ask the question of the hour.
"Did you, uh... change my clothes?"
> This perks her attitude unusually up, and she smiles thoughtfully. It seems you recognizing her taking care of your health has made her day.
> "Oh yes, Anon, you were all dirty when I found you in the woods, after one of my good friends said he found you! So I had to clean you all up, and make sure you look nice!"
> *Sqwee*
> Ok, Fluttershy has seen you naked already within a couple days of meeting her.
> Unconscious.
> You’re honestly not quite sure if bad, hilarious, or creepy. You'll stick with all three for now with a side order of “a fuck not given”.
> Also, who could her good friend possibly be..?
> You see him, recognizing him for the demon he is… so he’s the friend in question.
> Hello, Angel.
> Your eyes bulge, realizing you attempted to turn her rabbit friend into some badass stew.
> There he rests, silently sitting over in his bed in the corner.
> You swear its eyes started dilating, the color of his pupils turning blood red.
> You narrow your eyes back at it, swearing revenge for escaping your wrath.
> That guy's ass is grass the moment you find him in a dark alley,
> And you're gonna
> Mow
> Him
> THE FUCK DOWN.
----
> Alright, now that you have quietly shown the audience your lovably evil side, time to reassess this uncanny situation.
> You need to see Princess Celestia and convince her to help you out, if you’re going to go with the flow of obsceneness this world has to offer.
> Next, you’ll have her contact the rest of the Mane 6, and try to figure some things, and make plans. Potent plans.
> Perhaps get that house you were working for in the real world, although your funds were a tad meager.
"Alright, Fluttershy, first thing I have to say is that you're the most beautiful, fascinating thing this forsaken world has to offer."
> Fluttershy undoubtedly has no idea what to say to that; in retrospect, perhaps the vulgarity is unheard of.
> It doesn't take long for her to start smiling though, and within moments she nearly beaming at you, the grin of pleasure stirring butterflies in your stomach.
> Are you seriously getting nervous admitting your love for this iconic character? You just paid her a compliment is all, and she’s happy to be acknowledged. Right?
> "Oh Anon, you're just saying that! Teehee!"
> Might as well sugar coat the world for her, flattery gets you everywhere with Fluttershy. Why not enjoy your time with her, even if it scientifically proves you’re insane?
"No, really. I know this may sound peculiar, but you're one of my favorite ponies around."
> D'AWWWWWWWWW
> She's blushing a warm pink. That's wonderful, just sensational.
> Day Made [X]
> She gives a heartwarming smile, the kind that could make you feel better, even after your dick was chopped off.
> "Silly Anon, perhaps we can hang out more and talk?"
"I'd love to, Flutter, but I need to see the Princess. Can you show me to Twilight's Library so Spike can send a letter to her?"
> Her smile shot down as quickly as it came back up, your heart is just pummeled at her bipolar sadness. Her tears being steady evidence to soon occur, you’re ready to take down the world in her name, just for her smile.
> "B-b-but, Anon... can't you stay a little bit longer? There's soooo much I want to ask you..."
> You're oblivious as to how serious she likes you as of now.
> Amazing what three days of seeing you nude and being told you're great for the first time can do.
-----
"Sorry, sweetheart, but I need to figure out what in Luna’s name is going on here, and if there's something I can do about it."
> You front flip off the cabinet in an act of daring bravado, although the landing process was more or less a failure.
> Apparently trying to hold down your garb while flipping does that.
> Yes, you're going to blame the sheet.
> It appears you are truly more agile than usual, or at least gullible enough to front flip off wooden cabinets.
> You have reincarnated the will of Jackie Chan!
> In your mind, you see Jackie giving a thumbs up of approval, his generous smile charming your very presence.
> Fluttershy, walking up to you in a very shy manner, nudges your leg, shooting a look that shows just how worried she is for you.
> "Anon, you need to rest more. Nothing has to happen just yet, does it...?"
> Perhaps she has a point, as you kneel down to her level.
> She’s making you a bit nervous as each step of the relationship builds, but you can’t help but want to put your hand on her mane, trusting her better instincts.
> *GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGHHHHHR*
> You both freeze; what in name of Martha Stewart's Jamaican Gumbo is that?
> You look down at your stomach, and you swear it's glaring right back at you in a most ominous manner.
> It has transformed into Frostmourne-
> FROSTMOURNE HUNGERSSSSSSS
> Perhaps the whole notion with not eating for nearly three days has caused a minor problem here.
> You're surprised your insatiable desire for caloric intake hasn't driven you to the point of madness.
> Again.
"Alright, Fluttershy, here's the deal: I need to get things taken care of before we can hang out more, but I'm hungry as a ... well, me. Like, you seriously look like meal to be eaten right now."
> She’s slowly transforming into a large ham with your vision now.
> She smiles once more, but this time it's a strained, overbearing smile as she leans in closer, inches away from you.
> "Well, if you want, you can eat me..."
> Wait, pardon?
> BAM! Level 1 alert established, there is clearly something disturbing with this conversation.
> That was NOT what you meant, right? Yes, totally correct, you tell yourself.
> You think. This has become a conflict of interest.
-----
> Brain: Hey, Anon, sorry to, uh, rub it in, but… it’s about fucking time you noticed, she has the streaking hots for you man!
> Harry and the Twins: Time to rise and shine!
> Wait, easy, now, don’t-!
> This garb is not sanctified to conceal your “weaponry” below.
> Looks like your lower member is about to prove this.
> No, no-no-no-no, please don’t do this for me, boner-in-training! This is NOT the time!
> You shimmy your cloth around like you're striking a dance move in memory of the King of Pop, failing miserably in the process.
> Alright, you're incredibly hungry for both food and questionably sexual desires, your ship is at half mass and prepping for the seven seas, and things are about to get awkward.
> Fluttershy tilts her head the tiniest of bit, confused at the sudden Michael Jackson impersonation.
> Unsurprising, as he never existed in this world.
>  ... You bet he would have been a major producer for this show though.
> What is also not a shock is that Fluttershy notices the reason you’re shifting around, looking down. If she was pink before, it’s nothing compare to what color her face is showing as she’s panicking now.
> “O-oh, my… uhm..”
> Backing up in such a cute way, trying to look away at the glory hanging underneath you, Fluttershy pipes up an alternative route of action.
> "Um, perhaps I said that wrong, but I can make you some breakfast if you want?"
"Please do, and don't mind me."
> She gives another warm smile, trying to decide the best course of action.
> You have a hunch her instincts might be instructing her to do things unspeakable.
> "Oh but I would always mind you; I mind all my friends!"
> D'awwww, she called you her friend. Duh huh.
> FRIENDDDDDDDDDDD.avi
> Seriously, though, you can’t jump off the handle and let loose on the first shy pony you see, dream or no. Oh, it’s so tempting, but you need to hold off such things until you understand just what is going on.
> You give her a nod, standing up and crossing your arms.
> She heads off to the kitchen, cheerfully humming a song.
> You quickly begin searching for your clothes.
-----
> Meanwhile, in the kitchen, Fluttershy is preparing an appealing meal fit for a “human”.
> Or, at least, she thinks she is. It’s to her disappointment that she lacks any knowledge to this odd but attractive looking species.
> She's wholeheartedly decided that rabbit food would satisfy the most wonderful person in her living room.
> Pressing a hoof against her chest, she looks out towards the door to the kitchen, in which you’re quietly out of sight. She gives a passionate sigh, thinking of the near future.
> "My, NO one’s ever told me I was beautiful before... or fascinating... hehe!"
> She blushes a bit to herself, imagining what would the past be like if you were with her during school days.
> Not realizing how far she’s thinking into this, Fluttershy devises a way to make sure you stay here, if only for a little longer. Curiosity has her on what you meant on a few things, not to mention that erection you suddenly gained getting closer to her.
> "I suppose I'll just have to keep him here with a bit of... this!"
> She takes a medium sized capsule out of a bottle, breaks it to dust with a pestle and mortar, and sprinkles it across the rabbit food, making some sort of entre fit for a rabbit king- or at least, the sweet Anon she finds you to be.
> "Now he'll take another nice nappy poo, and I get to give him a bath again, teehee!"
----
> You’re not even 15 feet from Fluttershy in the other room, when you heard this ominous monologue.
> You don't quite know what she decided to put in your meal, but you agree that it’s a dirty trick.
> You know what may occur soon after.
> That's right. She's gonna give you a bath.
> You're half tempted just to eat her love filled meal anyways, and deal with the consequences later.
> After the world’s shortest and elaborate search, you find your clothes were next to the bed, good mercy.
> Fluttershy is hopping on in; smiling like the day can't get any better, and for good reason.
> A bowl of food is in her mouth, in which you humbly guess is your meal.
> Is.. is she seriously attempting to feed you.. rabbit pellets?
> Alright, now you’re giving a fuck, this is beyond redemption. Hungry or no, this is nothing more than a slap to the face; eating animal food with suspicious powder on it, with the likelihood of going unconscious for her wild whims, is not on your priority list.
> You waltz quite enthusiastically to the door, one hand holding your clothes, the other resting on the doorknob.
> You make the lowest of bows, one of sincerity and eagerness to remove yourself from out of here.
> She puts down the bowl and raises an eyebrow. Taking a step towards you, you suddenly feel inspired to give your goodbyes.
"I'm terribly sorry, my dear Fluttershy, but I must bid you farewell. An emergency just arose, and I need to leave now."
> Fluttershy gives a selfish pout at you, and by George is that pout super effective.
> Why does she have to act so overbearing, you're fanatically in love with her already.
> Now she's excitedly interested in you and, despite your interest on sexual exploration, have the desperate urge to relocate yourself.
> Seeing this intent in the expression you’re wearing, she proudly points out a fun fact for you to chew on.
> "I-I'm sorry, Anon, but I locked the door in case you wanted to leave too early. You'll j-just have to stay and eat your meal like a good colt."
> You look back at the door again, trying the knob for good measure.
> The bloody thing is as locked as it get, with a bewildered look on your face.
> You can't even unlock it from this side, how is that even logically possible? Where are the bolts even on this?
> Damn, she's good, as you turn around to see her advancing towards you seductively.
> She's coming closer, and that look she's giving you is eerily sweeping you off your feet, ready to give in to whatever tickles her fancy.
> Those innocent eyes, they’re bringing up carnal emotions that should otherwise be best kept in a locked cage.
> Hoist the sail, mateys, full staff she blows!
> To the high seas we shall conquer!
> You cover your nautically ready shame with your clothes pile.
-----
"I'm sorry, Fluttershy, I really like you and all, but things are going too far, too fast."
> She stops, teetering on the spot, and gives a Lvl. 2 pout.
> If you had your wallet, you'd be tossing money, gift certificates, and credit cards at her.
> Not that it would do her any good, anyways; it appears she has only one thing in mind.
> "Anon... you're going to stay here and let me take care of you, you're hurt. Besides, you like me, don’t you…?"
"Flutter, yes I do, but I... I'm really not that hurt..."
> She freezes, pondering over this issue, as cogs begin to turn with this evidence presented.
> Looking like she’s accepted this, she gives a look of sorrow.
> “Oh… ok… *sniff*..”
> Thank you God, crush whatever soul you have left.
> She gloomily hops away, and exits the room.
> You're still frozen in fear and your own concoction of sorrow whilst trying to decide the best way out.
> That window looks perfectly fine for an exit, albeit it's across the entire room.
> In which Fluttershy has now reenters between the two of you, holding a makeshift bat.
> Your eyes pop at the ridiculousness of this; did she rip that off the dinner table?!
> Alright, with the testimony of everything you’ve witnessed, you’ve decreed that she has gone off the deep end, the poor mare.
> "Omfkay, Anonf, time to makef you beffer!"
> By better, you assume she means to beat you senseless, and tend to your soon to be new wounds.
> You hatch a quick plan to remove yourself from this impasse as soon as possible.
"... what was that, sweetheart?"
> She tries to say it again, the bat in her mouth muffling her as she attempt to enunciate her sentence again.
> "Emma mafe joo beffer!"
"You're killing me, Fluttershy,"
> Literally.
"I don't understand what you're saying."
> She drops the bat, and gives a look oh so familiar, the end of Season One.
> The Great Galloping Gala.
> The sanity meter in her head seems to have clicked a notch, from green to yellow.
> "YOU'RE GOING TO STAY HERE AND GET-"
> ZOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM! Away you go as you prep to break the sound barrier.
> You're traveling on the side of her wall with an intensity of a thousand suns, almost flying your way to a victorious exit.
> Sonic's the name, speed's my game!
> Sadly you failed to realize how cluttered the floor is once you return to it, as you're tripping over items like mad, doing barrel rolls and front flips to recover.
> Items resting on the floor and tables are beginning to turn into hazards and launched objects, destruction laced everywhere as you make your beeline to the window.
> Fluttershy's still in utter confusion, her head following you in shock and awe at the chaos of you escaping.
> You finally get within five feet of the window, and you figure one last leap should do it.
“FALCON-“
> You exclaim admirably as you trip over Angel.
> Curses flying through your head as you see the smirk on its face. That uncouth little snot!
“PUNcchawoooohnoohnooAWGGGHHH!”
-----
> Outside in the outskirts of the splendid city Ponyville, you successfully pierce the window like you're saving a child from a fire.
> Thankfully no one was nearby to witness some bipedal creature launch himself out of Fluttershy's glass panes, shards flying everywhere.
> The frame on that window consisted of thick oak planks, but through some sort of greater means you blew past it.
> You destroyed your right shoulder the moment you hit that dirt though, pain searing through your body in a white hot flash.
> Thankfully your adrenaline is going to the beat of Guns n' Roses' "Welcome to the Jungle".
> Sh-na-na-na-na-na-na-na knees, please~!
> Not missing a beat, you floor it towards the small town ahead, the bass rocking with each step you take.
> Ooooowa, I wanna hear you scream!
> You don't know exactly where Twilight lives, but you'll know with certainty when you see it.
> After a few minutes of running that seemed to be hours, you promptly realize the adrenaline is working magic on your member below.
> It's starting to do a helicopter motion, flapping in and out of the cloth like a rampaging bull.
> Jungle, Welcome to the Jungle~!
> You're attempting to cover yourself better when you realize you have someone flying above you, who comes to a screeching halt.
> "Whoa, whoa, whoa! What in the world are you?"
> You take a look to see a blur of blue when your foot, ever so lovingly, takes hold right behind a stone, the laws of inertia taking effect.
> Well, this sucks.
> You swear in your last moments a troll face was engraved in the front of said stone, it’s grin egging on your fury as you make an arc to the ground.
> VRRRRRRRRROOOMBAM
> You face plant right into the dirt, breaking the bridge of the nose and firing another round of pain throughout your entire body.
> Apparently the effects of adrenaline has its limits, as your shoulder and nose are now in screaming agony.
> Not able to help it, you decide to vocalize a few opinions on this.
"Oh mother fucking god damn these fucking rocks and rabbits and Fluttershy!"
> "Nyehahaha! Sounds like you're in one heck of a day!"
> You give the hairy eyeball at whoever is brave enough to challenge the wrath of Anon, ready to unleash the gates of hell upon their poor soul.
-----
> Oh lordy, you’ve soon realize who the pony in question was.
> Her sleek light blue fur running her entire body, ending at her mane and tail, both a vibrant array of colors.
> The ruler of the clouds and sky;
> The official definition for awesome;
> The one;
> The ONLY!
> Screw this, you're in a justified hurry and you're hastily running out of time
> You pray that she's a few levels cooler than Fluttershy right now, because you’re in some serious need for help.
> Of bloody course she's cooler, she's the pure epitome of cool;
> The bee's knees, the cat's meow;
> THE GREAT BAMBINO!
> ARGH! Hold it together, Anon! Your fanboy shout outs are not required here!
> "I don't know who or what you are, but do you need help or something? Name's Dash, Rainbow Dash!"
> She appears to want to prove her point, doing a few spins and loops at impressive speeds.
> She's as legit Rainbow Dash as it gets.
> You stand up and wipe your bloody nose with your cloth, readjusting the garb so it covers you properly. Thankfully she’s not paying that much attention to your attire as you address to her your plea.
"Rainbow Dash, I just, eh... moved here, but right now somepony is chasing after me, I need to find Twilight Sparkle.."
> She lands on the ground as dramatically as legally possible, blowing your mind with her professional acrobatics.
> Trotting up to you in a proud fashion, she looks at you square in the eyes with a confident look and a smirk to match.
> "Trouble, huh? Looks like I got a job to do! Who's the bad mare in question?"
"I hope you don't over react, but I'm dead serious when I say it's Fluttershy."
> She gives you a classic look of pure disbelief, a chuckle growing in her throat.
> Oh boy, here we go.
> She inhales to laugh at your bloody face, mouth agape, when a voice interrupts the conversation.
> "Come out, come out, wherever you are~! I'm not gonna hurt you, I just, uhm... want to talk to you, if it's alright…"
> Great Celestia, she's looking for you, and haul you back to the house of little horrors.
> You look at Rainbow Dash with eyes that beg for mercy, tears ready to fall.
> She gives a hearty sigh, rolling her eyes over the fact you’re running for your life from who could be the feeblest pony this town has to offer.
> "Alright, alright, I get it. You're almost in Ponyville, just go to the very center, egghead's house is near there. I'll hold off Fluttershy!"
"Thanks Dash, I owe ya one!"
> She groans as she gets ready to take off, wings spreading out as she prepares to go airbourne.
> "I never caught your name, but you better explain things later on!"
> You nod to her, and you both take off in opposite directions.
-----
> You are Iron Man!
> Running, almost naked, as fast as you can!
> “Welcome to the Ponyville Town Limits”, the sign says as you abruptly ignore it.
> It appears your marathon has every single available pony staring at you like you're Godzilla in a hawaiian shirt.
> Daresay you can't blame them, it's not often you see a sprinting bipedal running an ancient Roman marathon.
> Not that they would understand the joke of what an ancient Roman marathon is.
> Because anyone else totally would.
> Yeah.
> You make it about halfway into the village with no (major) issues before the local guards come sweeping down out of seemingly nowhere.
> Oh lord, it’s Celestia's guards, these British Guard parodying nuisances.
> "What's going on, here?" They attempt to question, blocking your path down the road.
> "HALT, CRIMINAL SCUM!" Is what you thought they said, and decided this is the perfect opportunity to undergo a transformation worthy of Super Sonic.
> In the hungered delusion you've fixed yourself in, you stretch your arms open, revealing the glory that is the S.S. Big Daddy, blinding the locals and guards alike.
> The Chaos Emeralds appear and surround you, fusing into you to become the ultimate speed demon.
"YOU'RE TOO SLOW!"
> You launch into the air, a graceful falcon of the sky as you convincingly enter Mach 1 for a whole second.
> Your grab around your knees with your clothes and begin spinning wildly, building your momentum.
> The Guards still get a full view of your junk propeling away, rotating vividly with the rest of your body.
-----
> What goes up, must come down;
> Yet my feet don’t touch the ground;
> See the world spinnin’ upside down;
> A mighty crash without a sound~
-----

> And just as magnificiently you went up, you gracefully descend into a pile of trash cans.
> You need to seriously work on your landing skills, that song was matching you so perfectly too.
> It's these clothes you holding, you swear on your dog’s grave!
> The guards approach your location, very wary but too laid back to give a serious care on what’s going on.
> "Are you, uh... ok? You seem, err.. lost."
> FROM THE ASHES YOU HAVE BEEN REBORN!
> PHOENIX, ARISE!
-----
> You catapult yourself from the trash, your makeshift garb torn and your clothes gone.
> You've turned into one hell of a stinky but very religious nomad-
> And no one's stopping this pilgrimage.
> Your fuck giving meter has now officially been reset to 0, and it's in arbitrary lock down.
> BEHOLD MY GLORY!
> A few blocks down in your wild sprint, you see it:
> The holy land, Twilight's Library.
> It's so beautiful, as you see mama in the window, cooking bacon.
> And the waffles, oh Neptune have mercy!
> Three hundred yards left, your legs are ready to detach, your mind showing you that your limbs are desperately attempting to mash the emergency escape button from the rest of your body.
> Your crotch is chafing from the morning jog, sparks ready to fly with each stride.
> The lactic acid is starting to build up, as your body begins to work its way into a full blown collapse.
> Your mind pulls a lever down, screaming maniacally.
> SECOND WIND, ACTIVATE!
> Legs: Lol nope, no can do boss.
> With the rejection of the second rush of energy you’ve burnt long ago, your speed begins a hasty descent.
-----
> One hundred yards left, you’re cushioning the pain with a soothing coach speech; ‘walk it baby, walk it’.
> Richard Simmons himself is pushing you past your limits, his hands on your shoulder blades to keep you from falling backwards.
> "In the name of Celestia, halt!"
> Looks like your stunt earlier has summoned about two dozen guards.
> But you CAN’T stop; you're just so close!
> You pick up the hobbling pace, and they're soon trotting beside you.
> Apparently they refuse to tackle you down, yet they're trying to persuade you to stop.
> What an effective and generous tactic, you silently commend them for their honorable duty.
> "It's useless to run, colt. We have you surrounded!"
> Fifty yards away, and they now have you circled, sharks ready to take out your life vessel.
> An interesting thought occurs in your head, humoring you: you think it might be time for a nap, and you’re still angsty for some food.
> All you ask for is something that doesn’t consist of rabbit pellets with sleeping chemical agents in it, is that so hard to ask for?
> Now you have almost thirty stallions doing street shows around you.
> You stop finally, plopping on your knees and pausing for breath, ready for the heavens to take you.
> There goes your right lung, look like it's ready to join its brother.
> "Now that you've decided to give up, you're coming with us, or else."
> You give the armored stud of a stallion a stern look, in which he soon returns.
> Staring contest initiated, at the very least you're winning this one in the end.
> A whole minute passes, as dead silence befalls everyone.
> He's forced to blink, a gust of wind catching in his eyes.
> VICTORY!
> Sitting on your heels, you barely keep yourself upright as you demand the reason for arrest.
"To where, if I may inquire?"
> "We'll escorting you to the high Princess Celestia to decide your punishment for disobeying the royal guard."
> Pokerface.jpg
> You can work with that. Had they mentioned that before, several body parts would have been thankful for such an act of mercy.
-----
> An hour or two later, you are being chartered in a make shift prison transport to Canterlot, out of what appears to be an old chariot with a built in wooden cage.
> Because being hundreds of feet in the air won’t deter you from escaping.
> As if you would anyways, they felt bad for you because you were attempting to eat part of your destroyed garb for the fiber.
> You now have an immeasurable amount of bread in here, as well as a very large cloth, in which you’ve fashioned into a fancy toga.
> You stink like death warmed over, and you've ran more today than in the past two years, but you got bread, that’s all that matters.
> Life is now complete.
> Completely wack, that is.
> When the playtime ride is over, you're stuffed after feasting like the King of Yorks.
> You take a loaf with you as six guards escort you down the royal carpets of Canterlot Palace, and what a fine beauty it is.
> By Charlie Sheen’s law, this place looks more impressive than you ever saw in the show!
> Entirely built out of marble and gems, whoever made this was a genius of highest stature.
> To have done this without hands, as well? Like a boss, a tip of the hat in their direction.
> You get a courtesy shove from the back, compliments of the Royal Jerk Squad.
> You land on your knees, giving the accused guard behind you a dirty look that is proportionate to being hit by a bucket of mud.
> He points forward at the throne in a manner of pure authority, his stoic pose showing something elaborate is about to ensue.
> In the most dramatic way possible, you gradually turn your head towards the throne.
> *Carmina Burana plays here*
> The great Princess Celestia stands before you, strutting her very presence and head held up high, as if lowering it would cause the destruction of planets.
> Princess Luna is sitting beside her, looking like she was in dire need of a Nintendo DS or a pony equivalent. Can one truly be this bored?
> "Stand up before me, mm... whatever race you are."
> You stand up and strike a pose that would have most certainly gotten you into Baywatch.
"Princess Celestia, it is an honor to be in your presence. I am the only of my kind here, known as a human. Please refer to me Anon if it pleases you."
> She lowers her head in acknowledgement, and gives you a mandatory smile. It appears that the exploding worlds rank lower than her amusement,
> and you never did like the royal system.
> "Welcome to Equestria, Anon. It appears you have had some trouble... adjusting to Ponyville. If I may inquire, what you were doing exercising in that manner in the middle of town?"
> Finally, a chance to redeem yourself, someone who’ll listen to this insane tale you’ve been through since being here.
"Before I tell you my story, can you send word to Spike to gather up the Mane 6 of Ponyville here? I need to talk to them as well. Then I can explain the story while they come."
> She nods once more, although with a wary look, before whisking forth to her a piece of parchment and a quill.
> You gotta love the skills of magic, defying any logic you’ve held in your years alive.
> Writing quickly and elegantly, it burst into flames, the ashes careening off the edge of a window.
"Alright, what I'm about to tell you is a tad ridiculous, but I swear on Discord's statue it's as true as it gets."
> She tilts her head out of confusion, but nods anyway, and so you began to describe your wonderfully horrible story.
-----
> For the reader's pleasure, you decide not to copy and paste this whole part for the sake of having more written down, and so we let them pretend it was all recapped.
> However, you put heavy emphasis that Fluttershy may have developed feelings for you, but she does not know how to direct or control it.
> She's a romantically crazed animal, and she has your number.
> You also explain that you know almost everyone and everything of Equestria, but you've never truly step foot into the world until just recently.
> She regards you as the works of a pony paragon, an odd exception to the works of life. Although skeptical of your ventures, she opts to believe you due to lack of any other reasoning.
> ”I believe you, Anon, but know it will take a good time for this world to understand and accept you for what you are. Now, if you’ll excuse me…”
> Princess Celestia goes out to greet the Mane 6 while you talk with Luna, who has been standing there silently throughout the whole saga.
> She's apparently nervous talking to someone who looks as weird as you, but you manage to get her to open up.
> Soon, in due time, she discontinues her timid nature.
"Hey, Princess Luna."
> She flinches, whether or not it's from being addressed or the way you look/smell, but she responds to you all the same.
> "Yes, sir Anon?"
"You really don't get enough view time; I really think you should be shown more."
> It's like you unwittingly opened the world to her, for she's finally found the one who understood her.
> Apparently her royal accent just flies out of the window when she's excited.
> "I fucking know, right? I get three episodes, TWO of which I'm the bad guy, and the mother fucking THIRD they treat me as a god damn bad guy!"
"You gotta admit, Twilight did her best to convince others that you are kickass, but Pinkie Pie always was there to ruin shit, huh?"
> "You KNOW about that? She was such a damn pain in the ass during the holiday to celebrate ME. ME! All I wanted was to have a good time and not have people panicking all the mother fucking time, and she's screaming like a chicken with her head cut off."
"Hey, she WAS dressed as a chicken, she's probably thankful you didn't cut her head off."
> You both chuckle at the lame joke, and Princess Luna is obviously pleased.
> After sharing a few points of conversation and stories, she grows fond of you.
> "Alright, you mother fucker, I like you. I like you a lot. Do you like the moon?"
> You ponder this; you're thankful she isn't asking if you like bananas, but this might be a trick just the same.
-----
> Bleh, you doubt the likelihood of that, and you love the moon for all you know.
"Oh yeah, the moon's the best place to be, why do you ask?"
> Walking up to you, she stands in the mightiest pose she could, although still a foot shorter than you, before giving a sly wink.
> Was there meaning behind that gleam, or was it just out of humor?
> In any case, it was enough to make you antsy; it was quite a rare and hot look.
> "Well, do I have news for you, pal. I have been building random shit up there for centuries since I was trapped there. I think I have a fort or two I think you might like, in case you come to visit."
> Fort? On the moon?
> ON THE MOON?
> Ohhhhh yeahhh
> That's one step for man, one mother fucking leap for Anon-kind
> You fist pump the air triumphantly a couple times before you compose yourself, holding a fist to your mouth as you clear your throat.
"Thanks, Luna. I wouldn't mind a bit if I could visit you up there sometime."
> She walks up to you, and with a smooth motion, lifts up her finely managed hoof.
> Does she... really? She can’t be serious, but…
> Alright, you'll do it, for the sake of the plot.
> You commit to your first ever successful bro hoof, as fanfares trumpet from the corners of Equestria.
> The awesomeness the emitted from that pound was enough to end wars and world hunger.
-----
> Celestia has already reentered the premises when she finds you two making googly eyes at one another.
> "Err, ahem! Anon, the ponies you've requested have now all arrived. I'm sure you'll be pleased that they all agreed to cooperate with you."
> They all, Spike included, walk up to you and greet themselves in a somewhat cordial fashion.
> Even the ever so missed Fluttershy is here, and she's giving you such an adorable look.
> Last time you saw her, she was ready to beat you down with a bluntly constructed bat;
> Good times.
> Twilight Sparkle: "Of course, Princess. Something as interesting and problematic like this comes only once in a long while, and it'd be one more lesson for the books!"
> Rainbow Dash: "Lessons, smessons! So your name's Anon, eh? About time I got your name, and boy, are we going to have some fun!"
> Rarity: "Ugh, look at you and your clothes, it simply cannot stand like this! What a crime against fashion! I will get your measurements and fix you up right away!"
> Pinkie Pie: "Eheehehehehe! Another pony's birthday to celebrate! Wait, do I call you a pony, or a h-h-h-?"
"A human, Pinkie, but you can refer to me as a pony until we get the right nouns down."
> Pinkie: "Oooookie dokie!"
> Fucking Fluttershy: "Um... hi."
> You appropriately ignore her for now; in due time you’ll be having a supervised conversation with her.
> Apple Jack: "Now listen here, pardner! We can get you a nice house a rustlin’ up in no time, but I'm gonna be needing some help, you hear what I'm saying?"
"Don't worry, I have a design in mind, and I'll be sure to help out in whatever way I can."
-----
> Celestia: "If there are supplies or financial help I can offer in the meantime, I can spare a few months’ worth for you to work with until you find your place in Ponyville. I take it you are planning to stay there?"
> You close your eyes, seeing if this is a logical idea in any way.
> If this was a dream, you'd surely be awake by now, and the pains you've collected are quite vivid to be a dream. Besides, where or who else could someone find such dedicated ponies?
> You give a nod, to the cheers of the others.
> You can't help but smile at their enthusiasm. A WINNER IS YOU!
> Speaking of painfully vivid injuries...
"Hey Twilight, can you do me a small favor?"
> "Sure, of course! Anything for a new neighbor!"
> It's a long shot, but you might as well ask someone who would be the best on the matter.
"Do you perchance have a healing spell of some sort? I know you don't really have much to do with that sort of stuff..."
> She sits there, thinking for a moment, before she pounds one hoof onto another in some indication of victory within her enigmatic mind.
> "Let me go visit the Canterlot Archives, I think I have just the thing, tehe!"
> She's off to find whatever she was searching for, as Luna approaches you.
> "I gotta take the moon out soon, so I shall be off. Don't be a stranger, alright motherf- I mean, sir Anon?"
"Sure thing, Princess Luna, fare thee well."
> She chuckles before she takes off to the sunset.
> How that's dramatic, it almost puts a tear in your eye.
-----
> Alright, you need to decide who you should ask to stay with in the meantime, while your home is being built.
> You're not a huge fan of clouds, so Rainbow Dash is out, no offense to her of course.
> Sorry Rainbow, you're still unbelievably awesome.
> Rarity is already offended by your scent, let alone the sight of you. The idea of being a walking fashion design also does not quell your idea of an enjoyable life.
> Twilight's Library might be a good idea, as you definitely have questions for her; however, you’d likely be drafted into the Organization Squad with Spike, and you’re not sure how long you would last with someone that has just as much OCD as you do.
> Pinkie Pie... lol, don't even get me started on the lack of sleep.
> You imagine yourself dancing wildly, strobe lights flashing and as a disco ball twirls overhead.
> Whenthedaycomes.wav
> Fluttershy is self-explanatory.
> Applejack is... well, actually, that's a splendid idea; it would be nice to get up with a family.
> Plus it would be convenient to work with Applejack in making sure your house is built to your liking.
"Say, Applejack, d'you think you could find it in yourself to let me stay at your family's house until we have my house properly built?"
> You can see there's some disappointment in some of the ponies' eyes, especially Fluttershy's.
> Blow off, Flutter, you need a decent amount of therapy or something similar before you enter her threshold again.
> Applejack runs it through her head a few times, before giving a dastardly humored grin.
> "I reckon that'd be fair, but it'll take some time before the folks back home get used t'ya! Jus' don't be complainin' when I kick your door in nice and early so we can get to work!"
-----
> You nod. Works for you, you need something to distract you while you figure out what in Hyrule is going on, anyways.
> It's been half a week and it still feels like you're strung high as a kite with the way things look; then again, you’ve only been conscious for a few hours of that time.
> Guess it'll take some time getting used to it. By some, you mean a long, long time.
> Pondering about life here, your mind begins to unlock, as memories begin to trickle.
> Well… you suddenly recall being in the passenger side. You were on a trip, you believe so, anyways.
> You were watching an episode of the show, and you ended up falling asleep listening to the story.
> You feel like you woke up before this happened though... even if it was for a split second.
> Could you have died? Could this be your brain securing itself for the next five minutes of your life, slowing time down so you enjoy this before you join Heaven?
> Maybe this is heaven, who knows? You can't complain.
> Maybe you're in a coma? It would make just as much sense as anything right now.
-----
> "Alright, Anon, prepare yourself for this one!" comes a shout from behind you.
> You turn around with your usual lolwut face, to see Twilight holding an old book.
> That book is glowing, and aiming at you. Your face contorts in fear, your eyes widening as the book begins to fire its spell.
> To dodge or not to dodge
> DODGE IT MOTHERFUCKER!
> It's as if time was averted, and you surf the waves of the spatial entity itself as you move out of the way.
> Too late, the beam from the book hits you anyways, clearing right through the chest as you tumble to the ground.
> You swear it tore right through you, but the moment it stopped, all your pain disappeared in a flash.
> Checking your nose, it appears to be intact
> Your shoulder no longer feels like it took on Andre the Giant;
> Things are looking good!
> "It's a time reversal spell that takes any area injured and returns it to how it was earlier before it was harmed. Pretty nifty, huh?" Twilight says with a hint of satisfaction.
> "I found it when I was looking for a book to go back in time to, uh.."
"Don't worry; I saw what happened, good times, huh?"
> "Oh, you did? Great! Makes things easier, although kind of weird. Hm."
> Looking at the group, you see them all looking at you, like some sort of circus attraction; like Celestia says, it may take some time for them to grow used to you.
> Except for Fluttershy, that took about three minutes.
"Alright, let's head on back to Ponyville, ladies. Thanks for helping me out, Princess Celestia."
> "Of course, Anon. Let us work together to make sure you enjoy your stay here."
> She clops her hooves together, and the motherfucking chariot of Bel-Aire comes strolling in.
> Now that's impressive royalty!
> Everyone gets in the chariot, unsurprisingly pulled by some guards.
> Oh joy, you forgot you still smell like a corpse after ten minutes in a microwave.
> All of them try to ignore this, except for Rarity, who's making gagging noises and spraying some sort of perfume in your direction.
"Remind me to take one hell of a bath once I get home."
> They all sheepishly turn to you and nod in agreement.
> Fluttershy decides this is her chance to shine, her glorious return to achieving your blessing.
> "You know, Anon, I can wash you if that's wh-"
"No thank you, Fluttershy."
> Fucking Fluttershy.
-----
> Time has passed, and so has life here
> It's been almost a month, and since then you have had many things occurred, some wonderful, other times horrifying.
> You've gotten your own wardrobe thanks to Rarity, two weeks’ worth of custom tailoring done at your request on the promise you never smell that bad again.
> You've improved your landing technique now that you're used to launching yourself into the sky without holding objects for you to blame.
> You have yet to kill that detestable rabbit, despite your most devious plots.
> Fluttershy's opinion of you has sadly turned into something a tad obsessive, against your eagerness to befriend her, and have since been preparing yourself to prevent her in case she goes mad again.
> You’ve gained killer muscle growth after working on the foundation for your home, which should be done in a month or two.
> Most importantly, you have yet to wake up from this dream, if it's even a dream. You try to think more of what happened to have caused this, but it has lead you to accept this as temporary reality, lest you turn psychologically estranged over the matter.
> Twilight's been helping you cope with this, and has been working with you on the physical understanding of this world further as you explore it.
> You'll learn magic one day mother fuckers, mark these words.
> Life has become interesting, to say the least.
-----
> So you wake up like the exuberant boss you are, as you lightly launch yourself out of the guest bed you've claimed your own since the move into Sweet Apple Acres.
> You refuse to admit that Applejack kicks down your door every god damn morning to make sure your lazy ass is up bright and early,
> EVERY
> SINGLE
> TIME.
> Welcome to the bucking world.
> END