Conversation with Reiko about No Contact order with Cianan

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  1. Reiko A SoumaToday at 4:58 PM
  2. So, you know I'm not mad at you right? Just really passionate on something like this because of my own upbringing.
  3. SayaToday at 4:59 PM
  4. I'm not here to debate about it anymore.
  5. Reiko A SoumaToday at 4:59 PM
  6. What about my DM implies that I want to debate the subject any further?
  7. SayaToday at 5:00 PM
  8. You DMing me to tell me you're passionate about something due to your own upbringing is only attempting to continue the conversation, to not DM me would mean it's over and done.
  9. Reiko A SoumaToday at 5:01 PM
  10. Well, you're completely wrong. I was telling you that I'm not mad at you and my reason for my views. None of that implies a request for a debate.
  11. SayaToday at 5:01 PM
  12. I honestly don't care if someone was mad or not about my views on it. The conversation was over.
  13. Reiko A SoumaToday at 5:03 PM
  14. You were wrong about my wanting to continue the debate.
  16. As for Cianan, any chance you or a staff member could pass along to him that - as long as he has me blocked - I prefer him not engaging in any conversation that I'm part of for any reason please? That's why I ignored everything he said.
  17. SayaToday at 5:03 PM
  18. Ignore him if you dislike seeing his posts. That's the guideline.
  19. Members are allowed to block other community members and respond to them. Blocking could be done to make sure players don't DM them or they may spam videos, gifs, etc, and they aren't interested in it clogging their screen. It can be used for multiple purposes.
  20. Reiko A SoumaToday at 5:05 PM
  21. So, it's okay for Claire to ask me to not engage her in any way and it be called harassment if I do (which I have not since I was notified of that), but it's not okay for me to ask for Cianan to not engage me in any way and it be called harassment if he does?
  22. SayaToday at 5:05 PM
  23. If you put Cianan on ignore and tell them to not talk to you, but you also need to remember that it wasn't just you in the conversation -- it was Zack as well.
  24. Reiko A SoumaToday at 5:06 PM
  25. Zack has nothing to do with my request. I am focusing only on Cianan right now.
  26. SayaToday at 5:07 PM
  27. No, Zack has something to do with the conversation -- something Cianan responded, which had been who I was responding to as well.
  29. Your request is for Cianan to stop talking to you while having you on block is something you can do yourself by putting them on ignore. That is our guideline. Has Cianan explicitly stated for you to not contact them? Because Staff has not received anything about a request like that.
  30. Reiko A SoumaToday at 5:08 PM
  31. And yes, I actually have told Cianan not to talk to me before. That is why I am now coming to you.
  32. SayaToday at 5:08 PM
  33. Have you put them on block?
  34. Reiko A SoumaToday at 5:09 PM
  35. I have put Cianan on block, and I have explicitly stated for Cianan to not have any contact with me. Said contact, directly or not, continues. Therefore, it is now harassment and is a violation of the community guidelines that the staff is fond - and rightly so - of enforcing.
  36. SayaToday at 5:10 PM
  37. When did you put Cianan on block and when did you send him that message?
  38. Reiko A SoumaToday at 5:11 PM
  39. I blocked him two months ago and told him in the lobby that clicking on "View Message" doesn't mean to engage me, and to please stop.
  40. The latter done more recently because I could not DM him.
  41. I want him to cease and desist with any direct, or indirect, contact with me. Immediately is preferred.
  42. I don't go into any role-play room when he role-plays, which has only been the Inn from what I've seen when he rarely role-plays. I typically don't even hang out in the lobby when he's there, unless there are other people to talk to that aren't in the same conversation with him.
  43. SayaToday at 5:13 PM
  44. Give me the post you sent to him?
  45. Reiko A SoumaToday at 5:14 PM
  46. I can't. It would require too much scrolling, and I don't screenshot everything.
  47. SayaToday at 5:14 PM
  48. I have the posts.
  49. Reiko A SoumaToday at 5:11 PM
  50. I blocked him two months ago and told him in the lobby that clicking on "View Message" doesn't mean to engage me, and to please stop.
  52. Was not what had been said.
  55. also before hand you engaged at him when he spoke to someone else.
  57. So within these 2 months of having him on block, you've engaged at and with him.
  58. Reiko A SoumaToday at 5:18 PM
  59. That first one is the one I was talking about.
  61. The second one, I spoke with someone else because come on. Nobody is the boss of anyone in the server if they're not staff. Now there's this lobby ruler nonsense going on? Really? Anyone else does it, oh no no's a taboo.
  63. I was nice in my lobby feedback and omitted hypocrisy from it.
  64. And quite frankly, I am sick of the bossiness that goes on with non-staff members.
  65. SayaToday at 5:19 PM
  66. That's what you perceive it as. Cianan does that to many people as a joke. You spoke at him when you had him on block, so in a way you are circumventing your own attempting at blocking.
  67. Your post to Cianan to tell him to not click view post does not state, at all, you wanting him to no longer respond to you and that you have him on block.
  68. Reiko A SoumaToday at 5:22 PM
  69. Well, I want him to stop. And the joke thing, not everyone perceives it as such. Just because it's not said in the lobby doesn't mean people like the joke. I could try to search DMs with people who have told me they don't find his bossiness or holier-than-Thou attitude funny in any way, if I had their permission to send screenshots.
  70. And, I'm inclined to agree with them. Bossiness isn't funny.
  71. SayaToday at 5:23 PM
  72. And they can say so to him themselves without needing a mediator in you, when you have him on block; as responding to him pretty much negates the idea of its purpose. Your agreement, disagreement with it isn't the crux of your argument -- which is "I have x on ignore and want them to not talk to me." when you go outside of it by responding to / or commenting about them publicly.
  73. With that aside we can talk about the real purpose of your request: Having him on ignore and wanting him to not contact you.
  74. We can push aside past interactions and look at this main point from here on out.
  75. Reiko A SoumaToday at 5:26 PM
  76. Zero engagement from him in any way. At. All. That has not changed. It will not change. Not even an indirect engagement. No mutual conversations either, just the same as it is with Claire, which I agreed on and have been upholding.
  77. If Cianan can agree to that, then I will do the same.
  78. If not, then there will be a problem.
  79. SayaToday at 5:27 PM
  80. The issue with Claire isn't on the table right now. Right now is the issue with Cianan, which you've broken your own want to not engage with him in the past -- but like I said, we can put that aside and have a clean slate
  81. Reiko A SoumaToday at 5:27 PM
  82. I know it's not. I'm just telling you that the conditions would be the same.
  83. SayaToday at 5:27 PM
  84. 1. Has Cianan said anything publicly to you about blocking / no longer wanting contact?
  85. Reiko A SoumaToday at 5:27 PM
  86. No.
  87. I had to discover on my own that he had blocked me.
  88. SayaToday at 5:28 PM
  89. How did you discover this?
  90. Reiko A SoumaToday at 5:30 PM
  91. I went to DM him and tried to ask him to please back off in contacting me at least temporarily (at the time, before I really got annoyed with him for his lobby behaviours) and received the error message that the DM could not be sent because either friends only, not on a mutual server, or blocked. The first two were not possible because he had DM'ed me once before out of the blue without adding me, and we're definitely on the same server.
  92. It was back in September that the one DM conversation had occurred, and it had been civil - which is why I had zero clue of him blocking me until I even attempted to send that polite DM to him.
  93. SayaToday at 5:32 PM
  94. I will also state right now that mutual discussions is honestly something you cannot dictate. If a person is responding to another on a subject that you may be involved in, we are not going to tell them to stop participating. I'm going to use our own conversation today as an example: Claire spoke up on the subject after seeing me and Zack talk about it and was not addressing you. The same would be for you commenting on the same subject but not responding to Claire. There's one thing with it explicitly talking to someone, there's another when the conversation is beyond just two people and others come in to share their thoughts without speaking to a person they may have on block.
  95. Reiko A SoumaToday at 5:34 PM
  96. And, did you see me then type your name at the beginning of a post when I was trying to make it clear that I was only engaging you at that point (since Cianan was still responding despite my sadly not making it clear enough at first that I was then only talking to you)?
  97. SayaToday at 5:35 PM
  98. That's why I used it as an example.
  99. Reiko A SoumaToday at 5:36 PM
  100. With due respect, I was asking a yes or no question.
  101. I see the example, but that wasn't an answer.
  102. And my electricity just went out.
  103. I'm very sorry, but I'm not going to be able to read and respond for a bit. My whole neighbourhood just lost electricity.
  104. SayaToday at 5:45 PM
  105. it was used as an example for the express purpose that it was not seen as you attempting to discuss the topic with claire. Either way, with that aside we can go onto main subject again. So Cianan has not contacted you about blocking you, and has not told you to stop contacting him -- and you've continued to contact him while having him on block. Good, done, let's move forward.
  107. What can happen will be as followed: You either send Cianan a PM on the forum expressing you no longer wish to have him contact you (Which I will direct him to it), or I can send him a DM saying as such. Please note that if you should attempt to circumvent your own request by contacting, speaking at or about him publicly on the forums or live chat, you will most likely be warned. This is a two way street.
  108. It will make things mutual. There’s no need for followup messages from either party; once that’s sent and he is direction to it, or I've contacted him about it, it’s in place.
  109. Reiko A SoumaToday at 5:57 PM
  110. Can you please be the one to DM him? It would be pointless for me to contact him now when you and I have been having this conversation.
  112. That - and I have no idea how long it will be before my electricity is restored, so I would rather not prolong it by making anyone wait on me.
  114. SayaToday at 5:59 PM
  115. I can contact him and will do so soon. I know I've posted it above, but this is a reminder. The moment you do this -- it's a two way street. So be sure to no longer comment at or about Cianan in the live chat or on the forums.
  117. Reiko A SoumaToday at 6:33 PM
  118. Yes.
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