Would you like a cupcake?
Stranger 1: YESYESYES, I would, kind sir. YEESSS.
Stranger 2: I MADE SOME
Stranger 1: OMG WHERE?
Stranger 2: they were red velvet
Stranger 2: cept i thought "fuck red, i want blue"
Stranger 2: so i made both
Stranger 1: That's the shiz.
Stranger 1: Can I has?
Stranger 2: damn straight
Stranger 2: sure
Stranger 1: YES.
Stranger 1: Instead of red velvet then, are they in fact blue suede cupcakes?
Stranger 1: EPIC.
Stranger 2: yes
Stranger 2: thats exactly what they are
Stranger 1: I love you.
Stranger 1: Marry me, Martha.
Stranger 1: I want to have blue babys with you.
Stranger 1: And eat them.
Stranger 2: haha
Stranger 2: i like the way you think
Stranger 1: That is because I am The Boss.
Stranger 1: And I think like a Boss.
Stranger 1: And eat cupcakes like a n executive.
Stranger 2: genius
Stranger 1: I know, Martha. I know.
Stranger 1: That's why you married me, right?
Stranger 2: yeah
Stranger 2: and for the money
Stranger 1: >:O
Stranger 2: soz babe but thats the way i roll
Stranger 1: YOU WHORE.
Stranger 1: IM TAKING THE KIDS.
Stranger 2: IM TAKING THE HOUSE
Stranger 2: AND EVERY OTHER FUCKING THING WE OWN
Stranger 1: I KNEW SOMETHING WAS UP WITH YOU WHEN ONE OF THE KIDS WAS A MUFFIN!
Stranger 1: YOU CHEATER!
Stranger 1: WAS IN YOU MOM?
Stranger 1: i failed at typing for a second there....
Stranger 2: WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?!
Stranger 2: haha
Stranger 1: JESUS!
Stranger 1: IM TALKING ABOUT JESUS.
Stranger 2: THAT MUFFIN WAS FROM YOUR PREVIOUS MARRIAGE
Stranger 2: I DIDNT HAVE NO FUCKING MUFFIN
Stranger 2: SOMETHING THAT UGLY COULDNT HAVE COME FROM ME
Stranger 1: Oh, okay. Look, honey, I'm sorry I got angry. I love you.
Stranger 1: I just get emotional.
Stranger 2: psh. not good enough
Stranger 1: My job is stressful.
Stranger 1: Come on, woman!
Stranger 2: stressful?!
Stranger 2: all you do is sit on your ass
Stranger 1: LIES. IM THE BOSS.
Stranger 2: in your mind
Stranger 2: BUT I WEAR THE PANTS IN THIS RELATIONSHIP
Stranger 1: You....that really hurts me, Martha. That hurts my man parts.
Stranger 2: okay, too far. im sorry
Stranger 1: You just make me so sad sometimes.
Stranger 1: Why do you treat me like this?
Stranger 1: I'm sensitive.
Stranger 1: I love all the kids. You know that.
Stranger 2: you ate them all last thursday
Stranger 2: we have no kids anymore
Stranger 1: HOW DARE YOU.
Stranger 1: ARE YOU CALLING ME FAT?
Stranger 1: IM BLOATED.
Stranger 2: for 3 YEARS?!
Stranger 2: BLOATING DOESNT LAST THAT LONG
Stranger 1: <:S
Stranger 1: well, to be fair, you're the one feeding me.
Stranger 1: Haven't you heard of healthy choice?
Stranger 2: FINE ILL STOP
Stranger 2: MAKE YOUR OWN GODDAMN MEALS
Stranger 1: No, I didn't mean it! I'll joing a gym!
Stranger 2: you better!
Stranger 1: Anytime fitness! Right now! I'll go all the time, I promise
Stranger 2: pinky swear?!
Stranger 1: Yes! I'll be like those creepy weightlifter guys that stare in the mirror the whole time!
Stranger 1: I'll be all many, just for you babe!
Stranger 2: nasty.
Stranger 1: manly*
Stranger 2: haha
Stranger 2: just get rid of that beer belly
Stranger 2: and im fine
Stranger 2: oh and get some abs whilst your at it
Stranger 2: .
Stranger 1: Yes ma'am.
Stranger 1: I'll be hotter than chuck norris on bowflex!
Stranger 1: Does that mean I have to grow a beard?
Stranger 2: haha
Stranger 2: no
Stranger 1: Ok good.
Stranger 1: I have a secret, Martha.
Stranger 2: mhmm?
Stranger 1: I got a sex change while you were at you cousin's wedding.
Stranger 1: I'm a lady now.
Stranger 2: THAT WAS YESTURDAY
Stranger 2: WTF
Stranger 1: A strong, beautiful, independant lady.
Stranger 2: righteo
Stranger 2: im secretly gay
Stranger 2: we'll be fine.
Stranger 1: I'm also pregnant.
Stranger 2: you cant be pregnant
Stranger 1: With your dad's kid.
Stranger 1: I'm so sorry you had to find out this way.
Stranger 2: fine.
Stranger 1: That's why I've gained weight.
Stranger 2: excuses excuses
Stranger 1: That and your delectable muffins.
Stranger 1: So my answer is yes, I would like a cupcake
Stranger 1: And I must go to sleep now
Stranger 2: kay
Stranger 2: nighty night
Stranger 1: Sweet dreams Martha.
Stranger 1 has disconnected