I've been thinking of what to say. Here's my 'purple poetry'. Actually, let's make it 'blue poetry' (cuz blue hearts ❤).

Look, the reason I asked you to do those stuff is NOT because sex is the only thing on my mind. You know that. It's just because I trust you enough to ask you, and I'm really comfortable talking to you about that. See, it just means I really trust you from the bottom of my heart, and I mean it. A normal person would just scream at me, and possibly slap me (or if they were sadistic, stomp on me).

When you first, ehm, did it, I was so overwhelmed with emotion because you finally returned that trust. It's all about trust, not sexual desire. Everyone has sexual desires, including me. But I don't go around asking random people for blowjobs, do I? You're the first one I asked, because you're the only one who I can open my heart to, because you're my only and most valuable best friend forever ❤❤❤.

That's just one of the reasons though. There's also the fact that I want to keep our friendship weird, because I like it that way. I'm weird, and you're weird (in a good way), so we should just be weird. I treasure it this way.

I never expect you to say yes to any of my weird requests. I just kept asking anyway because I thought it was funny the way I jokingly asked for it, and you said you liked my sexual desires too, so I saw no reason to stop entertaining you. (Oh, and I probably was secretly hoping that you would say yes one day ).

But more than anything else, I don't want you to get hurt. It looks like all the laughing we did about sexual desires just turned into sorrow. Eh. I'll just stop asking, it just means that I'll have to remove one of the cards in my deck (the same deck I use to entertain you, since I'm clearly under your command ).

UPDATE: Also, fuck, I just realized that when I said "i guess you were kidding huh.", it made it sound like I was hurt, lmao. My bad, jeez. I suck at this