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Jun 21st, 2018
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  1. I just got really really drunk and shared a single joint with my friend. I feel completely different than I’ve ever felt before.
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  3. I’m going to leave these things as reminders of myself to further elaborate upon my own logical thinking style, but they are a few things that have been on my mind lately:
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  5. - My intelligence and capabilities
  6. - The mathematical existence of nothing
  7. - Artificial intelligence concepts
  8. - Psychology concepts
  9. - Mathematical concepts
  10. - Mathematical explanations of both
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  12. What the hell am I talking about? I can’t imagine anyone would be entirely sure. Not even I am truly sure. Holy fuck I’m drunk right now, seriously.
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  14. I wrote down something on a piece of paper today: “sociopath with schizophrenic tendencies”.
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  16. I experience similar feelings when I’m sober, but they tend to be a lot more prominent while intoxicated. Weed or alcohol. I’m currently feeling mild paranoia, where people are possibly manipulating me, but I also recognise the role of psychological projection (which may not be what I truly think it is, but I label this term as such).
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  18. Please remember I am really drunk. I hope I save this document.
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  20. I do occasionally feel legitimate feelings of paranoia. Take, for example, at one point in my life I thought my brother had the intention of eventually killing me in the future. Another example, I thought my best friend had the intention of eventually killing me in the future. Then there are occasionally things they say that swing me to the opposite side of the spectrum. I would love to present examples, but that’s just not the way my mind works.
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  22. Memory
  23. My mind remembers events in the form of “what”, rather than in the form of “how”. So when I experience feelings of paranoia, I don’t remember what specifically triggered them, but I do remember what triggered them, and usually can remember what “specific” feeling it led me to. That is, I find it difficult to remember details about a conversation, but I can tell you what it’s about and I can tell you what it made me think.
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