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Cheshire-Chan Blues

SPARTAN-047 Apr 28th, 2017 (edited) 845 Never
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  1. Contact me on my Discord tag: SPARTAN-047#4950
  2.  
  3. On request by NightmareAura.
  4.  
  5. Can I make an one-shot request?
  6. NightmareAura
  7. You said you like April Fool's, so how about a trickster Cheshire Cat who pretty celebrates April first like Christmas.
  8. No rush for this one if you decide to do this.
  9.  
  10. NOTE: This is also a greentext, my second one, hopefully an improvement over the first.
  11.  
  12.  
  13. Fetishes: None
  14.  
  15. Tags: monster girl, monster girl encyclopedia, Cheshire cat, comedy, funny, April Fool’s, pranks, humour
  16.  
  17.  
  18.  
  19. > ‘You can do what I do, move like a make a move, groove like I make a groove
  20.  
  21. > ‘You can do what I do, move like a make a move, groove like I make a groove
  22.  
  23. > ‘You can sex like I sex, flex like I flex, I’m the best from the East to the West
  24.  
  25. > ‘You can step to this, kiss like I kiss, shake your hips like I shake my hips –’
  26.  
  27. > SLAM
  28.  
  29. > You hit the top of the clock radio
  30.  
  31. > Who the hell changed the tune
  32.  
  33. > It always played Shape of You by Ed Sheeran
  34.  
  35. > A face forms in midair
  36.  
  37. > Purple ears
  38.  
  39. > Purple fur
  40.  
  41. > A grin like a Cheshire
  42.  
  43. > Because that’s who it was
  44.  
  45. > ‘Fufufufufufufufu, happy to see li’l ol’ me again?
  46.  
  47. > Dammit
  48.  
  49. > Stupid pussy (heh) always troubled you at work, why here?
  50.  
  51. > ‘What the fuck’s your problem?’
  52.  
  53. > ‘Oh, you know. It’s the first of April, darling, why don’t we celebrate a little?’
  54.  
  55. > ‘Screw you.’
  56.  
  57. > ‘Anytime, dear! Just give the word and you can screw me over the desk!’
  58.  
  59. > Giggling, that damn pussy disappears
  60.  
  61. > Fuck this
  62.  
  63. > She’d be on your back the whole day
  64.  
  65. > Last year, she constantly pranked Joey
  66.  
  67. > He couldn’t get her off his back, had to constantly put up with the stupid prankster
  68.  
  69. > There was her silly giggle again
  70.  
  71. > Somehow, she thought it was a good idea to latch on to you
  72.  
  73. > Probably because you were new in the office
  74.  
  75. > Anyway, it was now time to get up and leave for work
  76.  
  77. > You went to the bathroom
  78.  
  79. > Open toilet seat
  80.  
  81. > WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT ON THE WATER
  82.  
  83. > There was a scary face of a Frankenstein’s monster in the toilet
  84.  
  85. > You almost climbed the walls, wondering how monsters under the bed had become monsters under the sewer system
  86.  
  87. > That damn Cheshire’s face appeared in midair
  88.  
  89. > ‘Fufufufufufu, you got worried about that? See? It’s just a picture.’
  90.  
  91. > She lifts it from the seat and shows it to you
  92.  
  93. > She had stuck a picture of the monster under the toilet seat cover and then waited until you opened it
  94.  
  95. > You threw a towel at the Cheshire
  96.  
  97. > She teleported away and it went through her, landing on the floor and getting it all dirty
  98.  
  99. > Fucking faggot cats
  100.  
  101. > You swore to get your own back
  102.  
  103. > But it was still time to get ready
  104.  
  105. > You took out your toothbrush and toothpaste
  106.  
  107. > Put a large pea-pod sized piece on it
  108.  
  109. > Hold it
  110.  
  111. > Why was your brush wooden
  112.  
  113. > Argh
  114.  
  115. > That faggot cat replaced your brush
  116.  
  117. > With a stick of a plant herb
  118.  
  119. > Bitch
  120.  
  121. > She didn’t appear again though
  122.  
  123. > Resigning yourself to your fate, you started rubbing the stick against your teeth
  124.  
  125. > ‘It’s supposed to be chewed to clean your teeth, my dear.’
  126.  
  127. > You nearly jumped out of your skin
  128.  
  129. > There was that goddamn cat again
  130.  
  131. > Why did she do this
  132.  
  133. > You threw the toothpaste at her
  134.  
  135. > She vanished again
  136.  
  137. > Bitch
  138.  
  139. > You chewed up the herb
  140.  
  141. > Tasted weird
  142.  
  143. > Of course, it had toothpaste on it
  144.  
  145. > You ran to your garbage bag and spat it out
  146.  
  147. > That cheshire was gonna pay
  148.  
  149. > You rinsed your mouth for a whole fifteen minutes
  150.  
  151. > Walked to the closet to put on your clothes and jacket
  152.  
  153. > There’s that damn grin again
  154.  
  155. > It faded as you threw a punch towards it
  156.  
  157. > Fucking faggot cat
  158.  
  159. > You put on your clothes
  160.  
  161. > Went to the kitchen
  162.  
  163. > Odd, you don’t remember leaving cereal out for yourself
  164.  
  165. > Oh well, whatever, it saved you time
  166.  
  167. > You took a spoon and dipped it in the cereal
  168.  
  169. > Swallowed the first mouthful
  170.  
  171. > Not bad
  172.  
  173. > Just the right amount of sugar, too
  174.  
  175. > You went for a second spoonful
  176.  
  177. > THUNK
  178.  
  179. > The spoon hit the cereal without going in
  180.  
  181. > Huh?
  182.  
  183. > Who’s heard of solid cereal
  184.  
  185. > You tried again
  186.  
  187. > No result
  188.  
  189. > What the –
  190.  
  191. > You saw bits of ice in the bowl
  192.  
  193. > Goddamn it
  194.  
  195. > Someone already put cereal and milk in the bowl and left it in the freezer overnight
  196.  
  197. > Asshole
  198.  
  199. > Who could it be?
  200.  
  201. > You didn’t have to look far
  202.  
  203. > That stupid grin across the kitchen table
  204.  
  205. > Cunt
  206.  
  207. > You’d pay her back for this if it was the last thing you did
  208.  
  209. > Well, you were getting late for work, it might be the last thing you’d have to do today after coming back from office
  210.  
  211. > You walked to the door and opened it
  212.  
  213. > SPLASH
  214.  
  215. > You were drenched
  216.  
  217. > A plastic cup bounced off your head
  218.  
  219. > Cocksucker
  220.  
  221. > Classic door ambush prank
  222.  
  223. > You looked up to see a pair of smiling eyes float away and disappear
  224.  
  225. > Jesus Christ
  226.  
  227. > That cat had it in for you
  228.  
  229. > You stepped out and checked for your keys
  230.  
  231. > As usual, they were inside
  232.  
  233. > You opened the door again a little more slowly looking for more traps
  234.  
  235. > Nothing yet
  236.  
  237. > So far, so good
  238.  
  239. > You looked around the house
  240.  
  241. > No keys
  242.  
  243. > As usual
  244.  
  245. > You searched high and low, looking under the table, the cracks of the cushions, and the buttcrack of your mattresses
  246.  
  247. > Well, exploring butt cracks could be nice
  248.  
  249. > If you had someone to do it with
  250.  
  251. > You looked around the chairs
  252.  
  253. > There’s the little bugger
  254.  
  255. > Padlocked to one of the legs of the chair
  256.  
  257. > Resting on the seat
  258.  
  259. > What the fuck
  260.  
  261. > Who could –
  262.  
  263. > Of course. Who else?
  264.  
  265. > Something bounces off your head
  266.  
  267. > You wince, rub the top of your head and glare up to see a fading, mischievous grin
  268.  
  269. > You look to your right
  270.  
  271. > It’s a key
  272.  
  273. > ‘Fufufufufufufu, happy unlocking, little one.’
  274.  
  275. > Damn fuckin’ faggot cats
  276.  
  277. > You’d just about had enough of this
  278.  
  279. > You unlocked your car keys from the chair leg, and ran out to get into your car
  280.  
  281. > You arrived at your office with minutes to spare
  282.  
  283. > You went to your room and booted up your computer
  284.  
  285. > You waited as the desktop loaded
  286.  
  287. > There it was
  288.  
  289. > You double-clicked the My Computer icon to load your disks
  290.  
  291. > Nothing happened
  292.  
  293. > Huh?
  294.  
  295. > You clicked even more frantically
  296.  
  297. > Grrrrrrr
  298.  
  299. > Why wasn’t it opening
  300.  
  301. > You tried the other icons
  302.  
  303. > Nothing
  304.  
  305. > Why had your computer gone haywire?
  306.  
  307. > You rebooted it and try again
  308.  
  309. > Useless
  310.  
  311. > How could this be happening?
  312.  
  313. > You Googled for troubleshooting problems
  314.  
  315. > ‘Corrupted user profile’
  316.  
  317. > You switched profiles, then told Windows to retain your files and folders
  318.  
  319. > You logged into the new profile and checked
  320.  
  321. > Everything worked
  322.  
  323. > Odd
  324.  
  325. > It’s not like people have never had corrupted profiles though
  326.  
  327. > You continued without a thought
  328.  
  329. > You opened MS Word to start typing up your next report
  330.  
  331. > You typed a paragraph or so without really looking and then looked up to check if it was okay
  332.  
  333. > HOLY FUCKING SHIT FUCK
  334.  
  335. > The whole thing was a mess
  336.  
  337. > The report had SPACE in several places
  338.  
  339. > You pressed the spacebar
  340.  
  341. > It printed SPACE on the screen
  342.  
  343. > Bloody keyboard layouts
  344.  
  345. > You went to the Language Bar to check
  346.  
  347. > Nope, it said US keyboard layout
  348.  
  349. > You pressed the spacebar again
  350.  
  351. > Same rotten result
  352.  
  353. > Why was everything working against you
  354.  
  355. > You checked the rest of the report
  356.  
  357. > Wherever anyone’s name appeared in it, it was replaced with ‘[NAME] has a nice arse’
  358.  
  359. > Dear Ilias
  360.  
  361. > You couldn’t take this anymore, time to get your own laptop here
  362.  
  363. > Or tell the stinking IT department to get their asses in gear
  364.  
  365. > You sent a memo to them straightaway
  366.  
  367. > Even though it takes a week for them to even read it
  368.  
  369. > You walked out to get a cup of coffee
  370.  
  371. > You told your boss something was wrong with the company’s computers
  372.  
  373. > He takes you to others’ cubicles to check
  374.  
  375. > He shows you his own PC works fine
  376.  
  377. > Great, you’re the only one with fickle fortune
  378.  
  379. > You walk back to your room in disgust
  380.  
  381. > You press the power button to wake up your PC
  382.  
  383. > The screen flickers on
  384.  
  385. > Hold it
  386.  
  387. > It’s not at the desktop anymore
  388.  
  389. > There’s a website open on your browser
  390.  
  391. > Which you didn’t open
  392.  
  393. > You read the title: Ten Super-Awesome Computer Pranks
  394.  
  395. > Um
  396.  
  397. > So ... could this be it?
  398.  
  399. > You read down the whole list carefully
  400.  
  401. > Shitshitshitshitshitshitshitshitshitshitshitshitshitshitshit
  402.  
  403. > The whole article described exactly what was wrong with your PC today
  404.  
  405. > You opened Word’s auto-correct feature
  406.  
  407. > There it was
  408.  
  409. > Every company personnel’s name was there
  410.  
  411. > And it was set to auto-correct to ‘[NAME] has a nice arse’
  412.  
  413. > You found the AutoHotKey script which was causing the spacebar to type SPACE each time you pressed it and deleted it
  414.  
  415. > Everything was back to normal
  416.  
  417. > What about the icons which weren’t working in the old user profile
  418.  
  419. > The last prank explained that
  420.  
  421. > Take a screenshot of the desktop, hide the icons, and set it as a wallpaper
  422.  
  423. > You tried it by following the instructions
  424.  
  425. > Now everything was unclickable
  426.  
  427. > You reverse the process
  428.  
  429. > And everything was back to normal
  430.  
  431. > Who –
  432.  
  433. > ‘Fufufufufufufu, didn’t enjoy the pranks, little boy?’
  434.  
  435. > The Cheshire cat appeared in front of you
  436.  
  437. > Fully this time
  438.  
  439. > Fully nude
  440.  
  441. > You threw a paperweight at her
  442.  
  443. > She teleported away
  444.  
  445. > And appeared again at the desk
  446.  
  447. > ‘Stop being so upset. I’m only trying to be friends, you know.’
  448.  
  449. > ‘You just made an enemy out of me, kitty.’
  450.  
  451. > ‘That’s harsh for an office boy.’
  452.  
  453. > ‘Not as harsh as what could happen outside it.’
  454.  
  455. > ‘Aww, come on. Would you like to go out with me tonight?’
  456.  
  457. > ‘This isn’t the way to take someone out.’
  458.  
  459. > ‘Hey, don’t get all serious. I didn’t want to upset you, I was only trying to lighten the mood. Please?’
  460.  
  461. > ‘Sure, if you can fix this mess.’
  462.  
  463. > You point to the screen and your messed-up report
  464.  
  465. > The Cheshire’s face falls and she raises her paws
  466.  
  467. > Of course
  468.  
  469. > The claws
  470.  
  471. > She can’t really type like that
  472.  
  473. > ‘Fine. You can wait until I do it.’
  474.  
  475. > You turn back and start typing, ignoring the Cheshire
  476.  
  477. > She pleads, pouts and offers you flowers, but you just ignore her
  478.  
  479. > You type it up in record time and leave, ignoring the Cheshire standing outside your door with flowers
  480.  
  481. > She actually appeared at various spots around your route back home, usually with bouquets or signs saying ‘PLEASE DATE ME’
  482.  
  483. > You didn’t give a shit
  484.  
  485. > She actually appeared in front of your car suddenly when you were going to work
  486.  
  487. > You braked hard and the car screeched to a halt as it went through her
  488.  
  489. > You leaped out of your car and turned around
  490.  
  491. > You walked over to some strange image on the road
  492.  
  493. > It showed the ‘flattened pancake’ Cheshire with pleading eyes, holding up a sign which said ‘I LOVE YOU’
  494.  
  495. > Yeah, right
  496.  
  497. > After getting you a couple of black stars at work
  498.  
  499. > Screw that
  500.  
  501. > You got back inside and the car purred off to work
  502.  
  503. > Everyone greeted you and congratulated you at your new productivity
  504.  
  505. > Mainly because the Cheshire was playing less, rather, no pranks on yourself
  506.  
  507. > You walked past the Cheshire for the hundredth time, holding up a sign saying ‘I’M SORRY’
  508.  
  509. > Huh
  510. > You sat at your cubicle
  511.  
  512. > You coworker leaned over the partition
  513.  
  514. > ‘Dude, shouldn’t you at least listen to what she has to tell you?’
  515.  
  516. > He pointed out the Cheshire standing in the doorway, with a sign saying ‘PLEASE FORGIVE ME, DARLING’
  517.  
  518. > ‘I listened and put up with her, bro. No more.’
  519.  
  520. > You turned back to your PC
  521.  
  522. > The image of a sign floated across the top, saying ‘YOU’RE THE WORLD TO ME’
  523.  
  524. > Sigh
  525.  
  526. > You had to give her credit for being persistent
  527.  
  528. > ‘Look, I know she’s annoying, but Cheshires can’t help their mischievous nature.’
  529.  
  530. > ‘And I can’t help my unforgiving one.’
  531.  
  532. > Your coworker sighs as he turns back to his computer
  533.  
  534. > You cast a lazy glance over to her, pouting and holding a sign saying, ‘CAN WE TALK OUTSIDE?’
  535.  
  536. > Hmph
  537.  
  538. > You’d rather set fire to your trousers
  539.  
  540. > You kept working on your spreadsheet
  541.  
  542. > Yet you couldn’t get the image of her out of your mind
  543.  
  544. > Odd, it’s not like she’d left a big impression
  545.  
  546. > You checked the SUM function on one of the cells
  547.  
  548. > Perfect
  549.  
  550. > You looked down the other figures and fist-pumped
  551.  
  552. > Wait
  553.  
  554. > What was that?
  555.  
  556. > One of the cells was highlighted
  557.  
  558. > You clicked it
  559.  
  560. > It read, ‘YOU ARE MY LOVE, YOU ARE MY HEART, AND WE WILL NEVER EVER EVER BE APART’
  561.  
  562. > JESUS CHRIST
  563.  
  564. > Any girl who liked Justin Bieber should be burned at the stake
  565.  
  566. > ‘Hey, look, I’m sorry.’
  567.  
  568. > You looked up
  569.  
  570. > She was behind you.
  571.  
  572. > ‘I asked one of your co-workers to type that in your spreadsheet for me when you went out for water. Please, darling, talk to me. I know I annoyed you and you spent six hours of overtime figuring out what went wrong with your system, since you were only trained on the job and aren’t that experienced with computers. I could teach you some –‘
  573.  
  574. > ‘Leave me alone.’
  575.  
  576. > ‘I won’t do it again. Please.’
  577.  
  578. > You glowered at her
  579.  
  580. > She had tears in her eyes, though she was hastily mopping them up with a handkerchief
  581.  
  582. > ‘Please, Anon. Give me a chance. I didn’t think the pranks would upset you, I only wanted to talk to you. I should’ve realised you didn’t like that method of greeting much. Please understand.
  583.  
  584. > She was sniffling now
  585.  
  586. > But your heart was a mountain, you couldn’t just let her behaviour go
  587.  
  588. > Like the time she made smoking effects appear from your monitor and you ran out yelling ‘FIRE!!!!!’
  589.  
  590. > You even dragged some of your coworkers along
  591.  
  592. > Nothing happened, so you went in to check
  593.  
  594. > Stupid grinning fag kitty was there sitting at your desk
  595.  
  596. > Waving her hands around and muttering nonsense as smoke emanated from behind your monitor
  597.  
  598. > It was from a miniature smoke bomb
  599.  
  600. > Her magic gave the smoke different effects
  601.  
  602. > Everyone laughed at the prank and congratulated her
  603.  
  604. > Even a month afterwards, people were hissing behind you or shouting ‘FIRE!’
  605.  
  606. > You hated it
  607.  
  608. > And you hated that faggot kitty
  609.  
  610. > She had done far too much
  611.  
  612. > And gotten attention from it
  613.  
  614. > To be fair, you might have clapped too if she targeted someone else
  615.  
  616. > But being the butt of a joke can hurt a lot in some ways
  617.  
  618. > There was the time she put a banana peel near the toilet
  619.  
  620. > You almost landed inside and had to slip and slide around to avoid the toilet and kick the peel away at the same time
  621.  
  622. > You were quite sure your hair had touched the water though
  623.  
  624. > So, anyway, no more letting it go
  625.  
  626. > You finished your spreadsheet and shut down your system
  627.  
  628. > Flicking the switches off, you walked out, ignoring the remonstrances of the Cheshire
  629.  
  630. > She teleported to your car and appeared in the front seat
  631.  
  632. > You sat down, plugged your earbuds in and ignored her all the way home
  633.  
  634. > Her tears, tempers, and tantrums shouldn’t affect you
  635.  
  636. > You walked into your home, paying zilch attention to the bouquet she was offering you and slamming the door in her face
  637.  
  638. > You slept, tossing and turning
  639.  
  640. > The next morning, when you were going for work, she was still out at the front door, holding up a sign saying ‘I WON’T BOTHER YOU AGAIN’
  641.  
  642. > Same old, same old
  643.  
  644. > You drove to work to see her at your cubicle, fresh flowers in her paws and a teary smile.
  645.  
  646. > ‘Anon, please look at me. I’ve brought you freshly plucked flowers from my own garden, I haven’t bothered you for a week. I know where to get a keyboard designed to endure claws, so I can help with your work too –‘
  647.  
  648. > ‘Buzz off, pussy ears.’
  649.  
  650. > You ignored her tear-stained face as you slipped into your seat and fired up your computer
  651.  
  652. > You sensed her presence all the while behind you as you worked, the silent plea in her behaviour obvious
  653.  
  654. > Not that you cared
  655.  
  656. > This went on for a week
  657.  
  658. > She was always there
  659.  
  660. > Home, work, and the route inbetween
  661.  
  662. > No more pranks
  663.  
  664. > Just more flowers or cardboard signs begging for your forgiveness or pleas to listen to her
  665.  
  666. > You were harder than stone
  667.  
  668. > Ha, ha, ha
  669.  
  670. > As in, your heart
  671.  
  672. > You just wouldn’t acknowledge that she existed
  673.  
  674. > That should show her how a breakdown feels like
  675.  
  676. > She always had wet eyes
  677.  
  678. > Well, the dry eyes you had from staring at your PC or frustration at figuring out what she did with your stuff had been a headache too
  679.  
  680. > Karma is a real bitch
  681.  
  682. > You continued your routine
  683.  
  684. > Sleep, eat, work, ignore
  685.  
  686. > She didn’t give up either
  687.  
  688. > But you weren’t losing this little game
  689.  
  690. > A week later, your boss announced your promotion
  691.  
  692. > You were ecstatic
  693.  
  694. > After all that toil and sweat, you deserved it
  695.  
  696. > You were invited to an event
  697.  
  698. > The whole office was
  699.  
  700. > Oh well, if that Cheshire was there, you knew the drill
  701.  
  702. > You arrived for the event all decked up
  703.  
  704. > Everyone was there
  705.  
  706. > Your boss made an announcement and called you up on stage
  707.  
  708. > You arrived there to tumultuous applause
  709.  
  710. > He congratulated you on a job well done
  711.  
  712. > You nodded and smiled, waving to the rest of the group
  713.  
  714. > He then said he had something to tell you
  715.  
  716. > He went behind the curtain of the stage
  717.  
  718. > You waited for five minutes
  719.  
  720. > What was taking so long?
  721.  
  722. > At the moment you were about to go and see what was wrong, he appeared again
  723.  
  724. > ‘Sorry about that, Anon. It was so hard to get her to come out.’
  725.  
  726. > Huh
  727.  
  728. > Oh no
  729.  
  730. > nonononononononononononono
  731.  
  732. > He was dragging the Cheshire behind him
  733.  
  734. > ‘She loves you, Anon. She really does. She’s so upset since you won’t talk to her anymore. But take it from me – Cheshire’s are mischievous with people they like and want to stay with. She promised not to bother you again if you don’t want to be. Let it go and at least try her. Here, I’ve got your table reservations.’
  735.  
  736. > He handed you two printed reservations
  737.  
  738. > Screw that faggot cat
  739.  
  740. > You took them and bowed to your boss
  741.  
  742. > ‘Thank you, boss.’
  743.  
  744. > ‘Anytime, Anon.’
  745.  
  746. > ‘But she’s played her little games too far. I’ll take out someone I actually like. Maybe the cute kikimora from office cleaning services.’
  747.  
  748. > You turned around and started walking out
  749.  
  750. > ‘ANON!’
  751.  
  752. > The Cheshire’s shriek was heart-rending
  753.  
  754. > ‘Anon, PLEASE, I didn’t mean to upset you. Please go out with me just once and I swear I’ll make it all up to you. I promise!’
  755.  
  756. > ‘Well, I don’t mean to walk out either, but what to do, my dear?’
  757.  
  758. > You stuff the reservations into your pockets and walk out
  759.  
  760. > The Cheshire’s soft sobs follow you out
  761.  
  762. > You drove back home and walked up to your door
  763.  
  764. > Your boss was standing there in the pouring rain
  765.  
  766. > You quickly unlocked the door and invited him in
  767.  
  768. > ‘Sure, Anon, but I won’t be long. I just wanted to talk to you about that Cheshire.’
  769.  
  770. > Not again
  771.  
  772. > You set about making coffee
  773.  
  774. > You set two cups down and took the chair opposite your boss
  775.  
  776. > ‘Look, Anon, I know how you feel.’
  777.  
  778. > ‘Do you?’
  779.  
  780. > ‘Yes. My wife is a Cheshire. And she tormented me the same way. Please listen.’
  781.  
  782. > Your boss goes into detail about how his wife played pranks on him
  783.  
  784. > One was when he was up in a tree trying to get his adopted son’s kite out
  785.  
  786. > She screeched near him and he fell all the way down
  787.  
  788. > A few scratches and one fracture
  789.  
  790. > That’s when her pranks ended since she knew someone could get hurt
  791.  
  792. > He had also been mad at her, and refused to talk to her for a month
  793.  
  794. > Her tears and tantrums never ceased
  795.  
  796. > One day, he came across her injured by a passing car
  797.  
  798. > He took her to the hospital instantly and admitted her in the ICU
  799.  
  800. > She was fine apart from the fracture she also received, and he was assigned to take care of her because she had no family
  801.  
  802. > He did it grudgingly, but also because he did feel sorry for her
  803.  
  804. > Over the time spent in the hospital bed, they bonded
  805.  
  806. > He didn’t want to talk much, but she coaxed it out of him by cuddling him close and speaking to him soothingly
  807.  
  808. > Even though she was the patient
  809.  
  810. > Over time, he warmed up to her affection
  811.  
  812. > They shared everything about their lives and developed a close relationship
  813.  
  814. > Soon, they fell in love, got married, and had kids
  815.  
  816. > ‘The point is, Anon, we turned into life partners from our mishaps,’ your boss finishes
  817.  
  818. > He’s been talking nonstop for two hours
  819.  
  820. > ‘She may have had a bad start with you, but this could be a good end.’
  821.  
  822. > He stands up
  823.  
  824. > ‘Would you like to crash here?’
  825.  
  826. > ‘No, thanks. I need to have my cheshy-poo in my arms all the time. Goodnight, Anon.’
  827.  
  828. > ‘Goodnight, sir.’
  829.  
  830. > As he walks out, you cringe at his use of baby language
  831.  
  832. > Well, it’s clear his affection was genuine
  833.  
  834. > How the hell could you love a faggot cat like –
  835.  
  836. > There she was again
  837.  
  838. > At the door in the pouring rain
  839.  
  840. > She gazed at you, her eyes sad and melancholic
  841.  
  842. > You looked back
  843.  
  844. > ‘Anon.’
  845.  
  846. > Her whisper was soft, full of affection
  847.  
  848. > The way she had sounded these two weeks
  849.  
  850. > ‘Anon, please give me a chance. Your boss made new reservations here. I’ll meet you there.’
  851.  
  852. > She hands you two fresh tickets
  853.  
  854. > She plants a soft kiss on your cheek as she teleports away
  855.  
  856. > You check the address
  857.  
  858. > La Touche Hotel?
  859.  
  860. > Hmmm
  861.  
  862. > Well, if you disliked her, you could sample one of the other mamono there
  863.  
  864. > You go to sleep with her on your mind
  865.  
  866. > Not in the dirty sense
  867.  
  868. > Naturally
  869.  
  870. > The next day, your boss calls to say it’s off for you
  871.  
  872. > He also reminds you of the Cheshire
  873.  
  874. > Yeah, yeah
  875.  
  876. > You go back to sleep
  877.  
  878. > You wake up an hour before the timing on the reservations
  879.  
  880. > Oh hell
  881.  
  882. > You shouldn’t have slept
  883.  
  884. > You brush, shower, shave, and rush out to find the hotel
  885.  
  886. > You ask for directions a few times and get there five minutes before time
  887.  
  888. > You walk into the lobby, show your tickets, and are directed to your table
  889.  
  890. > Cheshy-chan is already there
  891.  
  892. > ‘Hi Anon!’
  893.  
  894. > She’s dressed up for the occasion
  895.  
  896. > A long, flowing dress with a deep décolletage
  897.  
  898. > Not bad, purple actually suits her
  899.  
  900. > You sit down and greet her
  901.  
  902. > She seems much happier now that you’re actually talking to her
  903.  
  904. > You dine together while talking and laughing about  your colleagues and work
  905.  
  906. > She’s surprisingly normal and cheerful
  907.  
  908. > Sipping wine, you take a stroll around the park
  909.  
  910. > All the while making small talk about the sun setting and the birds chirping
  911.  
  912. > While your eyes talked about something else
  913.  
  914. > She had a mischievous look in her eye
  915.  
  916. > Not the pranky type, the sexy type
  917.  
  918. > This was a sea change
  919.  
  920. > She took your hand in her paw
  921.  
  922. > ‘Can I kiss you, Anon?’
  923.  
  924. > She looked into your eyes for a moment and then, without waiting for a yes, leaned forward and pecked your lips softly
  925.  
  926. > You savoured the taste of her lip gloss
  927.  
  928. > ‘What do you say we go back to my place?’
  929.  
  930. > She kissed your cheek as she waited for your response
  931.  
  932. > You nodded
  933.  
  934. > ‘All right, that’s awesome!’
  935.  
  936. > She stood up and walked out with you in tow
  937.  
  938. > You both stepped into her sleek car
  939.  
  940. > She drove off in the direction of her home
  941.  
  942. > You both made out a little at the traffic lights
  943.  
  944. > And at a few intersections
  945.  
  946. > You soon arrive at her home
  947.  
  948. > The two of you stepped out, closing the doors
  949.  
  950. > After making sure her doors were locked, she strolled forward to her door
  951.  
  952. > She inserted the key and swung it open, sweeping her hands apart in a ‘welcome home’ gesture
  953.  
  954. > You gasp at the sight
  955.  
  956. > Her whole entrance hall is decorated with the flowers and signboards she kept using to try and get you to talk to her, and the neon lights are glowing dimly to create a more intimate atmosphere
  957.  
  958. > You look around for her
  959.  
  960. > She’s gone
  961.  
  962. > Oh Ilias, not another prank
  963.  
  964. > You step forwards and call out her name
  965.  
  966. > She doesn’t answer
  967.  
  968. > You call out again
  969.  
  970. > Nothing
  971.  
  972. > As you’re about to call her again a third time, she starts materialising in front of you
  973.  
  974. > Her fluffy ears appear first, with her grinning face and purple body appearing next
  975.  
  976. > She has a crop top and shorts on, different from the restaurant
  977.  
  978. > She’s in a kneeling position and holding out a box to you
  979.  
  980. > ‘Will you marry me, Anon?’
  981.  
  982. > She flicks the box open
  983.  
  984. > Inside is a little plastic sign saying ‘I LOVE YOU’
  985.  
  986. > You chuckle at the dud
  987.  
  988. > She must’ve borrowed it from her mum and made the plastic sign
  989.  
  990. > Even in relationships, her mischievousness wouldn’t go
  991.  
  992. > But at least it wasn’t harmful anymore
  993.  
  994. > You knelt in front of her
  995.  
  996. > You took the sign, and pulled out your keychain
  997.  
  998. > You detached the keyring from it and placed it into the slot near the end of the sign
  999.  
  1000. > ‘I’ll try you on for size, pussy ears.’
  1001.  
  1002. > She giggles at your new nickname for her
  1003.  
  1004. > ‘I guess I like that. Call me by my new name again.’
  1005.  
  1006. > ‘Pussy ears.’
  1007.  
  1008. > ‘Mmmmmmm, being called names turns me on!’
  1009.  
  1010. > ‘You need to be punished for being a minx.’
  1011.  
  1012. > She giggles and runs to the bedroom
  1013.  
  1014. > You chase her there, swiping at her tail and ass to catch her and getting quite close, though not enough
  1015.  
  1016. > You manage to pin her down in the bedroom
  1017.  
  1018. > She lies there panting under you, her soft lips near your earlobe, nibbling it gently
  1019.  
  1020. > ‘Take me, Anon. Take your pussy ears. Take your minx and show me how manly you are.’
  1021.  
  1022. > ‘Never ask for something you can’t handle.’
  1023.  
  1024. > You both undress and make love in her satiny, silky bed
  1025.  
  1026. > It was far too comforting
  1027.  
  1028. > You both fall asleep in each others arms, worn out
  1029.  
  1030. > You woke up late the next day
  1031.  
  1032. > Eating breakfast, you didn’t feel awkward at all
  1033.  
  1034. > Everything felt just right
  1035.  
  1036. > You make love again that night since it’s the weekend
  1037.  
  1038. > And every night after that
  1039.  
  1040. > It was a perfect time every night to do the horizontal dance ever since you married her
  1041.  
  1042. > She was very tender and giving
  1043.  
  1044. > And she was clear on what she wanted from yourself
  1045.  
  1046. > You were mostly over your old grudge, you couldn’t have found someone better
  1047.  
  1048. > Life goes on this way
  1049.  
  1050. > You even go to work together in the same car
  1051.  
  1052. > Your coworkers comment on how well you get along now
  1053.  
  1054. > Your boss is pleased with the arrangement and high-fives you almost every time you meet
  1055.  
  1056. > That cat isn’t so much of a faggot now
  1057.  
  1058. > You grow to love her more and more with each passing day
  1059.  
  1060. > She’s actually quite sweet and accommodating when you get past her prankster vibes
  1061.  
  1062. > She doesn’t stop playing jokes, but they’re very harmless and easily overlooked
  1063.  
  1064. > Like how she hung a bug from the ceiling over your face with string
  1065.  
  1066. > You got a real shock when you looked up, and when you batted it away, it popped open to show a sign saying, ‘I LOVE YOU ALWAYS AND FOREVER, SLEEPYHEAD’
  1067.  
  1068. > You rolled your eyes at that one
  1069.  
  1070. > She appeared in the bed and tickled you until you couldn’t stop laughing and begged for mercy
  1071.  
  1072. > You stayed in each others arms just like that
  1073.  
  1074. > You were late for work, but your boss seemed to have guessed that the lovebirds were having fun and didn’t say anything
  1075.  
  1076. > Life was now perfect without a trickster cat and a loving cat waifu in her place
  1077.  
  1078. > Two years later
  1079.  
  1080. > You have three kids
  1081.  
  1082. > You have to chase them all around the house since they get up to pranks, disappearing when it’s bathtime, and leaving paw prints everywhere
  1083.  
  1084. > You struggle to get them to wake up in time for school
  1085.  
  1086. > Especially as you can have intimate moments when they’re being managed there
  1087.  
  1088. > On one such moment, before afternoon when they’ll come home, you’re sitting with cheshy-chan gazing out of the balcony
  1089.  
  1090. > You stroked her fur as she sat in your lap, purring contentedly
  1091.  
  1092. > ‘Anon, do you remember how all this started?
  1093.  
  1094. > ‘How could I forget, darling?’
  1095.  
  1096. > She kisses you softly
  1097.  
  1098. > ‘I’m glad we forgave and forgot all that. I thought you’d hate me forever.’
  1099.  
  1100. > ‘For a moment, so did I. My boss convinced me to give it a shot.’
  1101.  
  1102. > ‘Indeed, I asked him to. For our sake. And for those little devils.’
  1103.  
  1104. > You chuckle at her reference to the kids
  1105.  
  1106. > ‘Say, how about we go and relive the moments of our little spat? I’d like to see those signs I made for you once more so we can recall the times I stood around waiting for you to notice!’
  1107.  
  1108. > ‘You’re on, babe. Let’s go.’
  1109.  
  1110. > You both stand up and hold hands, or rather, hold hand and paw, and walk in, the memories of how you two first fought, and then made up with each other
  1111.  
  1112. > ‘Just one thing. Tell me what you told our boss so he’d try to convince me.’
  1113.  
  1114. > ‘Anything you want, cupcake. You’ll know all about it.’
  1115.  
  1116. > She starts describing what happened on the day your boss came to your home to talk to you, as you both hold hands, secure in your relationship and knowing that your love for each other has cemented beyond what anyone could’ve imagined.
  1117.  
  1118. The End
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