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The Mofucore

Acethewritefag Jan 11th, 2017 (edited) 922 Never
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  1. At the far end of town
  2. where the Demon-grass grows
  3. and the wind smells like sex when it blows
  4. and no harpies sing excepting old crows...
  5. Is the street of the Miffed Mofucore.
  6. And deep in the demon-grass, some monsters say,
  7. if you look deep enough you can still see, today,
  8. where the Mofucore once stood
  9. Just as long as she could
  10. Before someone lifted the Mofucore away.
  11. What was the Mofucore?
  12. And why was it there?
  13. And why was it lifted and taken somewhere
  14. from the far end of town where the Demon-grass grows?
  15. The old Manticore still lives there.
  16. Ask her. She knows.
  17.  
  18. You won't see the Manticore
  19. Don't knock at her door.
  20. She stays in her cave on top of her boar
  21. She lurks in her cave, cold under the roof
  22. Where she milks semen
  23. out of the
  24. And on special moonlit nights in August
  25. She peeks
  26. Out of the cavern
  27. And sometimes she speaks
  28. And tells how the Mofucore was lifted away
  29. She'll tell you, perhaps...
  30. If you're willing to pay.
  31. On the end of her tail
  32. She lets down her pussy
  33. And you have to toss in five ounces
  34. of sweet cushy
  35. freshly milked semen
  36. Right into that pussy.
  37. Thens he pulls up the tail
  38. makes a most careful count
  39. to see if you've paid her
  40. the proper amount.
  41.  
  42. Then she hides what you paid her
  43. away in her muff
  44. her secret strange hole
  45. At the end of her ruff.
  46. Then she grunts, "I will call you by the Manticore-Phone
  47. for the secrets I tell you are for your ears alone."
  48.  
  49. SCHLICK!
  50. Down slips the Manticore-Phone to your ear
  51. and the old Manticore's whispers are not very clear,
  52. since they have to come down
  53. through what is still her tail puss
  54. and she sounds
  55. as if she was riding a bus.
  56. "Now I'll tell you." She says, with her teeth sounding gray
  57. "How the Mofucore got lifted and taken away...."
  58. "It all started way back...
  59. Such a long, long time back...
  60.  
  61. Way back in the days when the mofu was still soft
  62. And the children still smiled
  63. and the sex was still good
  64. and the song of the Jub-Jubs rang out in space....
  65. one morning, I came to the sensual place.
  66. And I first all the trees!
  67. The Mofufu Trees!
  68. The bright-colored mofu of the Mofufu trees!
  69. Mile after mile in the fresh morning breeze.
  70. And, under the trees, I saw Brown Grizzly bears
  71. Sleeping all pretty with their brown grizzly hairs.
  72. From the smiling kids
  73. came the comfortable bids
  74. Of Krakens happily playing
  75. Like some kind of squids.
  76. But those trees! Those tress!
  77. Those Mofufu trees!
  78. All my life i'd been searching
  79. for trees such as these.
  80. The touch of their tufts
  81. was much softer than silk
  82. And they had the sweet smell
  83. of fresh Hokstaurus milk.
  84. I felt a great leaping
  85. of joy in my heart.
  86. I knew just what I'd do!
  87. I unloaded my cart.
  88. In no time at all, I had built a small cave
  89. Then I chopped down a Mofufu tree with one shave
  90. And with great skillful skill, and with great speedy speed,
  91. I took the soft tuft, and I knitted a twede!
  92. The instant I'd finished, I heard a great thump
  93. I looked.
  94. I saw something pop out of the stump
  95. of the tree I'd shaved down. It was sort of a woman.
  96. Describe her?....That's hard, I don't know if I can.
  97.  
  98. She was shortish. And cutish.
  99. And pinkish. And fluffy
  100. And she giggled with a voice
  101. that was delicate and huffy.
  102. "Madam!" she said with a funny sneeze.
  103. "I am the Mofucore. I speak for the fluff!
  104. I speak for the fluff, for the fluff have no tongues.
  105. And I'm asking, ma'am, at the top of my lungs."-
  106. she was very upset and she shouted and puffed-
  107. "What's the THING you've made out of my Mofufu tuft?!"
  108. "Look Mofucore," I said. "There's no cause for alarm.
  109. I shaved just one tree. I am doing no harm.
  110. I'm being quite useful. This thing is a twede.
  111. A twede's a fine thing that all Monsters need!
  112. It's a shirt. It's a sock. It's a net. It's a wrap.
  113. But it has other uses. Yes, far beyond that.
  114. You can use to restrain husbands. For dungeons! For sheets!
  115. Or curtains! Or covers for a man's meat!
  116. The Mofucore said,
  117. "Ma'am! You are crazy with greed.
  118. There is no one on earth
  119. who would buy that fool Twede!
  120.  
  121. But the very next minute I proved her was wrong.
  122. For, just at that minute, a Hellhound came along,
  123. and she thought the twede I had knitted was great.
  124. She happily bought it for three ninety-eight.
  125. I laughed at the Mofucore, "You poor stupid girl!"
  126. You never can tell how money will hurl!"
  127. "I repeat," cried the Mofucore,
  128. "I speak for the fluff!"
  129. "I'm busy," I told her.
  130. "Shut your stupid muff."
  131. I rushed cross the room, and in no time at all,
  132. built a radio-phone. I put in a call.
  133. I called all my sisters and uncle and aunts
  134. and I said, "Listen here! Here's a wonderful chance
  135. for the while Manticore family to get mighty rich!
  136. Get over here fast! take the road to the Ditch.
  137. Turn left at Wonderland. Sharp right at the other ditch."
  138. And, in no time at all,
  139. in the factory I built,
  140. the while Manticore family
  141. was working full tilt.
  142. We were all knitting twedes
  143. just as busy as bees,
  144. to the sound of the shaving
  145. of Mofufu trees.
  146.  
  147. Then...
  148. Oh! Baby! Oh!
  149. How my buisness did grow!
  150. Now shaving one tree
  151. at a time
  152. was too slow.
  153. So I quickly invented my Super-Shave-attacker
  154. which shaved four Mofufu trees at one whacker.
  155. We were making Twedes
  156. four times as fast as before!
  157. And that Mofucore?
  158. She didn't show up anymore.
  159. But the next week
  160. she snuffled
  161. on my new office door.
  162. She snapped, "I am the Mofucore who speaks for the fluff
  163. which you seem to be shaving as fast as you snuff
  164. But I'm also in charge of the Brown Grizzly bears
  165. who slept in the shade with their brown grizzly hairs.
  166. "NOW... thanks to your shaving of my trees to the ground
  167. There's not enough sleeping space to go 'round.
  168. And my poor Grizzly bears aren't getting the cummies
  169. because they have nothing to put in their tummies!
  170. "They loved livin here. But I can't let them stay.
  171. They have to find cummies. And I hope they may.
  172. Good luck girls." She cried. And she sent them away.
  173. I, the old Manticore, felt sad
  174. as I watched them all go.
  175. BUT...
  176. business is business!
  177. And business must grow
  178. regardless of cummies in tummies, you know.
  179.  
  180. I meant no harm. I most truly did not.
  181. But I had to grow bigger. So bigger I got
  182. I biggered my factory. I biggered my roads.
  183. I biggered my wagons. I biggered the loads
  184. of the twedes I shipped out. I was shipping them forth
  185. to the south! To the East! To the West! to the North!
  186. I went on biggering... selling more twedes.
  187. And I biggered my tail pussy, which everyone needs.
  188. Then again she came back! I was fixing some pipes
  189. when that old-nuisance Mofucore came back with more gripes.
  190. "I am the Mofucore," she coughed and she whined.
  191. She snuffled and she muffled. She warggled. She pined.
  192. "Manticore!" She cried with a querulous croak.
  193. "Manticore! You're making such un-mofu smoke!
  194. My poor darling Jub-Jubs... why, they can't sing a note!
  195. No one can rape who has smog in her throat!
  196. "And so." Said the Mofucore,
  197. "-please pardon my cough-
  198. they cannot live here.
  199. So I'm sending them off.
  200. "Where will they go?...
  201. I don't rightly know
  202. They may have to fly for a day, perhaps two
  203. To escape from the smog you've made you damn jew.
  204.  
  205. "What's more," snapped the Mofucore. (Her fluff was up)
  206. "Let me say a few words about the toxic fluff slop.
  207. Your machine chugs on, all day and night without stop
  208. making toxic fluff slop. Also fluffity glop.
  209. And what do you do with this leftover goo?
  210. I'll show you. You dirty Manti-jew you!
  211. "You're clogging the pond where the Kraken's slummed!
  212. Now more can they slum, for their tentacles are gummed.
  213. So I'm sending them off. Oh their future is dreary.
  214. They'll walk on their tentacles and get woefully weary
  215. in search of some shotas who aren't so queery."
  216. And then I got mad.
  217. I got terribly mad.
  218. I yelled at the Mofucore, "Now listen her, lass!
  219. All you do is yap-yap and say, 'Ass! Ass! Ass! Ass!'
  220. Well I have my rights, ma'am, and I'm telling you
  221. I intend to go on doing just what I do!
  222. And, for your information, you Mofucore, I'm figgering
  223. On biggering
  224. and BIGGERING
  225. AND BIGGERING
  226. AND MORE BIGGERING
  227. turning MORE Mofufu trees into twedes
  228. which everyone, Everyone, EVERYONE needs!"
  229. And at that very moment, we heard a loud, whack!
  230. From outside the fields came a sickening smack
  231. of a blade on a tree. Then we heard the tree fall.
  232. The very last Mofufu tree of them all!
  233.  
  234. No more trees. No more twedes. No more work to be done.
  235. So, in no time, my uncle, and aunts, everyone,
  236. all waved me good-bye. They jumped into my cars
  237. and drove away under smoke-riddled stars.
  238. Now all that was left beneath the gross smelling-sky
  239. was my big empty factory...
  240. the mofucore...
  241. and I.
  242. The Mofucore said nothing. Just gave me a chuff...
  243. just gave me a very sad, sad depressing chuff...
  244. as she lifted herself by the seat of her scruff.
  245. And I'll never forget the grim look on her face
  246. when she heisted herself and took leave of this place,
  247. through a hole in the smog, without leaving a trace.
  248. And all the Mofucore left here in this mess
  249. was a small pile of rocks, with one word...
  250. "JEUDEN."
  251. Whatever that meant, I have no fucking idea.
  252. That was long, long ago.
  253. But each say since that say
  254. I've sat here and worried
  255. and worried away.
  256. Through the years, while my buildings have fallen apart,
  257. I've worried about it
  258. with all of my heart.
  259. "But now," says the Manticore.
  260. "Now that you're here,
  261. the word of the Mofucore seem perfectly clear."
  262. "Come up to my cave if you care a whole lot,
  263. if you don't, things won't get better.
  264. It's not."
  265.  
  266. "SO...
  267. Climb!" Calls the Manticore.
  268. She lets her tail swing.
  269. "It's an easy climb, don't think a thing!
  270. You're the hope of the future, the most important seed.
  271. And your seed is what everyone needs!
  272. Some come up here, climb up my tail
  273. And let me tell you about how not to fail.
  274. For if you climb, oh say you will,
  275. Then perhaps the Mofucore's words
  276. will not be for the birds."
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