Received e-mail:

Bonjour Mme/Mr , Je prends contact avec vous car je suis int�ress� par votre groupe . En effet , j'aimerais que vous participiez � l'animation de mon mariage . Ci joint les conditions d'engagement . Veuillez me recontacter si possible au : +225 04396464 ou � mon adressepersonnelle : mathisfernando@yahoo.fr En attente de votre r�ponse . Fernando Mathis Email: mathisfernando@yahoo.fr --------------------------------------------------------------------------- Buenos d�as Mme/Mr, Me pongo en contacto con ustedes ya que soy interesado por su grupo. En efecto, me gustar�a que participaban en la animaci�n de mi matrimonio. Adjunto las condiciones de compromiso. Quiere volverme a llamar si es posible a: +225 04396464 En espera de su respuesta. Fernando Mathis Correo electr�nico: mathisfernando@yahoo.fr


Reply:

Dear Fernando,

I'm answering to your e-mail requesting for my band, "Anal Destroyer", to play at your wedding. I must tell you that we don't perform at regular weddings, but we can change that if you make certain changes to your wedding. We consider regular weddings as pussy-homo attempts by fags to show that they are not pussies, in this case, you being the fag trying to prove you're a man. The only kind of weddings we've played at are Metal Weddings. In Metal Weddings, WE make the conditions. Among these conditions, we have the right to fuck the bride before, during and after she's got married. We have total freedom to penetrate not only her vagina but her anus and mouth as well. We have the obligation to fuck her without any kind of protection as well as to cum inside her vagina, mouth or anus. Our band consists of 7 permanent members and our tour crew consisting of 5 people. Considering this, we have to spend the night prior to the wedding with the bride and also the night after. We have a contract already designed for these gigs, and besides the services of the band, you also have to pay for and assure provition of a variety of alcohol drinks as well as cannabis, cocaine, LSD and hashish for the band as well as for tour members. Provition of these articles must last from the night prior to the wedding until the night after the wedding in which we'll decide when we finish providing our services. Music? Our special show for weddings doesn't include us performing on stage, but we do require our music being played while we're present. The reason for this is that there is a high chance that assistants to the wedding would get annoyed, not to say violent, if they see us grabbing our instruments instead of abusing and raping your future wife. Besides, they will be so drunk that the last thing they would like to see or hear after they have seen us naked and fucking your wife like animals is a band playing on stage.

Taking in consideration what I mentioned before, me and my band will be glad to bring our show to your wedding if you decide to turn it into a real "Metal Wedding". It'll be a unique experience for assistants as well as yourself; something you won't ever forget. Our services cost u$s 10,000 and must be paid FULL in advanced. You have to add airplane tickets (Business Class) which you have to pay. Our reputation on stage as well as performing at Metal Weddings make us the #1 band for this job. This is a reputation gained after years of partying and fucking other guys chicks, drinking beers, getting stoned and crashing at weddings to rape the bride in front of the priest. Make no doubt, we're the ones for this job.

I'll be expecting to hear from you. Me and the guys are anxious to meet the bride and fuck her to our last breath; we love to hear them screaming 'No more!' but we know they want more and we are going to make sure to fill all her holes for more than a day.

Fernando, you know you want this!

Go fuck yourself,


Carlos "Well-hung Machete" Gimenez