DANG IT. Everything was so nice there for a few years.... I'd finally gotten you lot to realize that I no longer had that stinking sword. It was just me, snoozing on my rock in my lovely dank cave, enjoying the peace and quiet of a life without constant disorienting respawns and rez headaches. Sure, there were the occasional levelers rampaging through the cave and disturbing us all. But that's just an ordinary hazard of life in the jungle.

And then, bam. No warning. Not even a "Oh, by the way, we want you to guard this sword again" memo from my bosses. I woke up from a nap one day, and the sword was just there. And the moment I saw it, I just knew.... Life was about to get very complicated again.

I don't know how you guys catch onto things so quickly. I tried to hide the sword at first, so no one else would realize that I had it again. But, nooooo.... the same magical forces that somehow brought it back to me and are making me keep it even when I don't want it also alerted the Chromatic Sword farmers. They have shown up in droves, and they're even stronger than they were the last time I had the sword. I've had no peace or respite at all. The moment I wake up from one horribly swift death, I'm dead again, and all my stuff is gone. (Take the sword, fine! Trust me, I don't want it! But do you have to take the rest of my stuff, too? Seriously!)

I've written a strongly worded petition to my bosses in protest. I mean, why me? Why do I have to guard this stupid glowy weapon again? Can't somebody else hang onto it for a while? I've already put in my time with this thing, and I'm not happy to be forced back out of retirement and known around the caves as "that poor sap who gets killed all the time for his rare sword."

If it wasn't for the support of my Rare Spawn Society friends, who are all helping me deal with this unexpected crisis, I really don't know what I'd do. As it is now, all I can do is beg you to show some scrap of charity, some semblance of kindness. Please... I'm begging you... can't you guys just leave me alone again?