Overlord. Comparing official and fan translations

So as to be completely unbiased, I made a super literal translation without looking at the already existing translations. Though just a couple of pages are done here, I mentally followed the same process with pages from other volumes and the results are basically the same.

Main document dealing with how much Shalltear loves Ainz: https://pastebin.com/6XCWndr5

----------------------------------Volume 1----------------------------------

                                                      Page 1                                                       

少女とそれより幼い少女を前に、全身鎧に身を包んだ者は剣を振りかぶった。
一撃で命を奪うのが慈悲であるとでもいわんばかりに、大きく振り上げられた剣が日差しを反射しギラギラと輝く
少女は目を閉じた。その下唇を嚙み締めた表情は、決して望んでの姿ではない。ただ、どうしょう もなくてそれを受け入れたに過ぎない。もし少女に何らかの力があったなら、目の前の者に叩きつけ 逃がれただろう。
しかしI少女に力は無い。
だからこそ結末は一つしか残されていなかつた。
少女はここで死ぬ。
剣が振り下ろされ

Official translation

Before one girl and another even younger one stood a figure in full plate armor brandishing a sword.
The blade swung, sparkling in the sunlight as if to say that taking their lives in a single stroke would be an act of mercy.
The girl shut her eyes. She didn’t want to be biting her lower lip. She just had no choice but to accept what was about to happen. If she had even a little power, she probably would have been able to shove the figure away and escape…
But she was powerless.
And so there was only one ending.
She would die.
The blade came down—

Fan translation

The knight in full plate armor stood before the girl and her little sister, his sword raised high.
His blade gleamed in the sun, and he poised himself, ready to end their lives in a single merciful stroke.
The girl squeezed her eyes tightly shut and bit her lower lip. She had never asked for this. She had been forced into her present circumstances. If only she had some strength, she might have resisted the enemy in front of her and fled.
However — the girl did not have that strength.
Thus, there could only be one outcome to this situation.
That would be the girl’s death, at this very place. The longsword fell—

Word by word breakdown

The first word is always bold in each panel. Reason: pastebin format rules.

Very literal translations all the time:

• A person wrapped in full body armor, stood in front of a young girl and an even younger girl, and brandished his sword.

• As if saying, taking her life with one attack, is an act of mercy. The sun dazzlingly reflects off the raised sword, and the young girl shuts her eyes.

• That bitten lower lip expression is by no means her desired appearance.

• It’s nothing more than that she had no other choice than but to accept it.

• If the young girl had some kind of power, she would have been able to thrust that at the person in front of her and runaway.

• But the young girl had no power.

• For this reason there was nothing but one remaining conclusion.

• The young girl will die here.

• The sword swings downward

                                                           Page 2                                                  

  ---

……痛みはいまだ来なかった。

ぐっと固く閉ざしていた瞼を開く。

少女の世界に最初に飛びこんで来たのは、振り下ろしかけて止まっている剣であった。

次に映ったのは剣の持ち主。

騎士はまるで凍りついたように動きを途中で止め、少女の横に注意を向けていた。その完全に無防備な姿は、騎士の内面の
驚きを強く体現していた。

騎士の視線に引きずられるように、少女も同じ方向に顔を向ける。

そして……絶望を見た。

そこには闇があった。

薄っぺらな、ただ、どこまで行っても終わりが無さそうな深みある漆黒。それが下半分を切り取った楕円の形で、地面から浮かび上がっていた。神秘的であると同時に、言葉に出来ないような強い不安を感じさせる光景。

扉？

Official translation

…The pain still hadn’t come.
She unscrunched her eyes.
The first thing she saw was the sword, stopped mid-swing.
The next was the figure holding the sword. The knight was practically frozen, looking at something off to her side. His unprotected stance manifested his internal shock.
The girl turned to follow his line of sight…
…and saw despair.
It was darkness.
A patch of raven black, ultrathin but so deep it seemed as if it went on forever. It was an oval rising up out of the ground, its bottom half cut off. It was a curious sight, but at the same time, it made her feel indescribably uneasy.
A door?

Fan translation

And yet there was no pain.
The girl gingerly opened the eyes which had been squeezed shut.
The first thing she saw was the suddenly motionless longsword.
Then, she saw the sword’s owner.
The knight in front of her was frozen in place, his eyes looking somewhere off to the girl’s side. His completely defenseless posture clearly displayed the fear that filled him.
As though drawn by the knight’s gaze, the girl could not help but turn and look in the same direction as him.
And so — the girl gazed upon despair.
What she saw was darkness.
It was an infinitesimally thin, yet unfathomably deep blackness. It was a halfoval of obsidian that seemed to protrude from the earth. It was a mysterious sight that filled the ones watching it with a powerful sense of unease.
Was it a door?

Word by word breakdown

• The pain hasn't come, even now.

• Firmly, stiffly closed eyelids, open.

• First came jumping into young girl’s world, was the sword stopped in the middle of swinging downward.

• Displayed next was the owner of the sword.

• The night just like he was frozen, stopped movement midway. Next to the young girl, he turned attention towards.

• That completely defenseless appearance strongly embodied his internal surprise.

|騎士||knight|
|の| |possessive marker|
|視線| |line of sight|
|に| |grammar marker|
|引きずられる| |influenced|
|よう| |As if|
|に| |marker|
|少女| |young girl|
|も| |marker|
|同じ| |same|
|方向| |direction|
|に| |grammar marker|
|顔| |face|
|を| |grammar marker|
|向ける| |turn towards|

• As if influenced by the knight’s line of sight, the young girl turned her face towards the same direction.

• And thus saw despair.

• Darkness existed there.

• Shallow, but just, no matter how far you go, seemingly unending deep jet black.

• That was an oval shape with the lower half cut off, rising from the ground.

• It was a mysterious sight, but at the same time, one that can’t be put into words, which made you feel a strong anxiety.

扉 ＝ door
Door?