Bring Me To Ed Act 1

Bring Me To Ed
[prelude]
Narrator: She came to Ed when everyone believed she was gone.
Her form, once his favorite animal: a chicken, was stolen away by death's grasp, and she was not ready to rest. She missed out on the one aspect of life that was more binding than all else... and knowing Ed's love for the domestic fowl, she, as the ghostly, human form of Spell, vowed to fulfill the opportunity that seemed way more than lost. Ed, as carefree as he usually is, discovers her transparency. However, he does not mind. To him, she is still the prettiest chicken he ever met... and the one he will come to love even more. He will bring her spirit to life... Even if it means taking risks.
[Act 1, scene 1]
Rolf: You want to see one of Rolf's chickens, yes?
Ed: CHICKENS!!
Rolf: Spell is my newest in my family of fowl. She has sparkled my eyes since I found her by the creek. I thought you wanted to see her, Ed-boy.
[Ed gasps]
Ed: She is so BEAUTIFUL and sweet! Can I hold her, Rolf?
Rolf: Certainly, four-eyed Ed boy. After all, you are no longer a duck. Goodbye.
[SFX: chicken being picked up]
Ed: Oh Boy! Hello Spell! My name is Ed! You are the most beautiful chicken I have ever seen! Can I kiss your forehead?
[SFX: Romantic swell, exaggerated kissing noise]
Rolf: ED BOY!!! Why do you insist on kissing the forehead of the domestic fowl? You show her human affection, and she will cling onto you the same way the blonde girl that belongs to friend Kevin does.
Ed: I think she really likes me, Rolf.
[Rolf sighs]
Ed: Aww...
Eddy: Hey, Ed! Which chicken are you romancing with this time, hmm?
Ed: Eddy! This is Spell, Rolf's newest chicken in his chicken family- and she is the most beautiful chicken in the whole world!
Eddy: You think? She's the only one with white and whatever color that is on her. And what are you doing, Ed?
Ed: Spell is very tied, Eddy I'm going to place her back in her bedroom full of hay and tuck her in.
[Act 1, scene 2]
Narrator: Later that night...
[SFX: fence being climbed , strife-laden jazz trumpet, screaming chicken, Hobo grunts, flapping, sped-up midi of Chopin's Funeral March]
[Act 1, scene 3]
Narrator: The Next Morning...
Rolf: Spell, you haven't clucked since yesterday. Did the Ed boy give you common cold or even speechlessness from the kiss to your small forehead?
[Rolf begins to gasp in air shakily]
Rolf: AHHHHH!
[Act 1, scene 4]
Rolf: Farewell, my dear Spell. Never again shall you cluck in your grace. Never again shall you ever scratch the dirt to polish your nails and mark my yard as rightfully yours. Never shall you find your first mate among the roosters who would have been the blessed fowl to watch over you carefully... and never again, Rolf will never see the beauty of your rare feathers in the sun. Farewell, my dear Spell. Rest in peace, for the son of a shepard will always mourn the loss of his hen.
[SFX: heavy machinery backing up, dirt being dropped over hole, transitional brass jazz music]
Double D: I offer my deepest condolences for this abrupt loss-
[SFX: Ed slamming his face into the ground]
Eddy: He's such a wuss! Let's get outta here before he starts bawling like that time I told him NO on making a scam.
Double D: Eddy, we can't just leave him out here like that! He'll freeze or even camp out here in this forest for the rest of his life!
[SFX: dog whimpering, sympathetic brass jazz chords]
Spell: Ed... Ed...