[07:07:03] <AlphaBlend> man, i never even heard of this community until
i met AJ
[07:07:03] <AlphaBlend> that is actually a really interesting concept
[07:07:03] <Rustish> i'd heard of them but never been involved with one
of these until this
[07:07:03] <AlphaBlend> ok so
[07:07:03] <AlphaBlend> i got something to tell everyone here
[07:07:03] <AlphaBlend> and hear me out please
[07:07:03] <AlphaBlend> over 2 months ago i took a hiatus from my
minecraft community
[07:07:03] <&flex> also Rustish, I said "capable" >_> you have a lot to
learn
[07:07:03] <AlphaBlend> basically, i've been struggling with attention
issues my whole life (all of 30 years)
[07:07:03] <Rustish> flex, i know >_>
[07:07:03] <AlphaBlend> i would put things forward to do, but then
they'd get pushed back, and just waiting without anything to be done
[07:07:03] <AlphaBlend> i got tired of this. I also had problems with
one of my favorite games TF2, same attention issues as well
[07:07:03] <AlphaBlend> so..........
[07:07:03] <AlphaBlend> this is why i took a 2 month hiatus
[07:07:03] <AlphaBlend> i wanted to find myself, i wanted to find that
drive that had been lost.... i've made countless scripts/programs over
the years because i'm a programmer, but honestly, i get distracted
really easily
[07:07:04] <AlphaBlend> i clung to an old program i had last updated
over 3 years and 8 months prior
[07:07:04] <AlphaBlend> i felt a drive
[07:07:04] <AlphaBlend> a desire to work on something, because i was in
the same environment for a long time
[07:07:04] <AlphaBlend> i wanted to find something else to occupy my
thoughts, something to hopefully bring me to my senses
[07:07:04] <AlphaBlend> during that whole time, i was also criticized
for what i was doing
[07:07:04] <AlphaBlend> people just didn't understand that i needed to
take a break
[07:07:04] <AlphaBlend> they wanted things done and i wasn't there so
they thought i wasn't capable
[07:07:04] <AlphaBlend> one such person, a good friend of mine, wanted
to have me replaced, as a trial
[07:07:04] <AlphaBlend> they wanted to see what would happen if someone
else took my place
[07:07:04] <AlphaBlend> well, that was a low point for me
[07:07:04] <AlphaBlend> i got so mad and frustrated
[07:07:04] <AlphaBlend> my personal failurse suddenly came to the front
and became so real to me
[07:07:04] <AlphaBlend> i was reminded of the few jobs i've had in my
life and the failures i've had by being distracted and doing things
other than what i should have done
[07:07:04] <AlphaBlend> so
[07:07:04] <AlphaBlend> being misunderstood, gravely i'd add, i felt
alone
[07:07:04] <AlphaBlend> i felt like the people who mattered most to me
did not understand
[07:07:04] <AlphaBlend> and that i was the only one trying to bring
myself up, when i felt others were trying to bring me down, because you
know, they didn't really understand
[07:07:04] <AlphaBlend> this experience ultimately lead to a mental
breakdown the next day, one of the worst times of my life
[07:07:04] <AlphaBlend> it felt so damn agonizing, trying to deal with
the people who were close to me
[07:07:04] <AlphaBlend> i couldn't understand it
[07:07:04] <AlphaBlend> well
[07:07:04] <AlphaBlend> hours later, when i was pretty much over it
[07:07:04] <AlphaBlend> i felt something different
[07:07:04] <AlphaBlend> i felt a long lost passion to succeed, the
feeling of always being in the present
[07:07:04] <AlphaBlend> something i had not felt my whole life
[07:07:04] <AlphaBlend> MY WHOLE DAMN LIFE
[07:07:04] <AlphaBlend> well
[07:07:04] <AlphaBlend> 3 days later i had a mental breakthrough
[07:07:04] <AlphaBlend> one of the happiest times of my life, which is
funny because it contrasted with one of the worst times of my life 3
days before
[07:07:04] <AlphaBlend> alright so
[07:07:04] <AlphaBlend> 4 days after that
[07:07:04] <AlphaBlend> i started setting some goals for myself
[07:07:04] <&flex> SETTING GOALS
[07:07:04] <&flex> yes
[07:07:04] <AlphaBlend> this was strange because i had never done
anything like this my whole life
[07:07:04] <&flex> and sticking them out, right?
[07:07:04] <AlphaBlend> so this was a new experience for me
[07:07:04] <AlphaBlend> YES
[07:07:04] <AlphaBlend> AND
[07:07:04] <AlphaBlend> I DID NOT REALIZE
[07:07:04] <AlphaBlend> HOW MANY THINGS I WANTED TO DO THAT I HAD PUT
ASIDE FOR A LATER TIME
[07:07:04] <AlphaBlend> SO MANY THINGS
[07:07:04] <AlphaBlend> so please
[07:07:04] <AlphaBlend> PLEASE
[07:07:04] <AlphaBlend> i don't know these channels
[07:07:04] <AlphaBlend> i don't know them very well
[07:07:04] <AlphaBlend> but if you have a desire
[07:07:04] <AlphaBlend> you really should be putting goals before you
[07:07:04] <AlphaBlend> here's another thing i learned
[07:07:04] <AlphaBlend> my 30 years of life prior to this experience was
for the most part aimless
[07:07:04] <AlphaBlend> i didn't set goals for myself
[07:07:04] <AlphaBlend> i just took life as it came
[07:07:04] <AlphaBlend> and that's really not ideal
[07:07:04] <AlphaBlend> there you go
[07:07:04] <AlphaBlend> there's my rant
[07:07:04] <AlphaBlend> now i have to make up for all the lack of time i
spent working on things i wanted to work on
[07:07:04] <&flex> here in #Invincible, we have done exactly the same
thing since 2013, exactly the same thing
[07:07:04] <AlphaBlend> :(
[07:07:04] <AlphaBlend> yeah
[07:07:04] <&flex> and we need to renew, decisively!
[07:07:04] <AlphaBlend> that's exactly it
[07:07:04] <&flex> by taking ACTION NOW
[07:07:04] <&flex> towards our goals
[07:07:04] <AlphaBlend> if you don't set goals for yourself, you won't
realize how much happier you will be
[07:07:04] <AlphaBlend> i do feel a lot happier
[07:07:04] <AlphaBlend> much happier
[07:07:04] <AlphaBlend> i don't even want to play TF2, I'm busy working
on my community goals
[07:07:04] <AlphaBlend> :)
[07:07:04] <&flex> these are the words of one of my trusted associates
[07:07:04] <&flex> he's not a member of the top 4
[07:07:04] <&flex> he does not speak the same language as us
[07:07:04] <&flex> but he has learned a valuable lesson
[07:07:04] <&flex> and I assure you these words are coming from a man
with a heart of gold
[07:07:04] <AlphaBlend> you can't feel the same things i feel, but
please take my word for it
[07:07:04] <AlphaBlend> you may not know me, but i hope my experience
can shed some light into what you want to accomplish in life
[07:07:04] <&flex> though he may be only a denizen of #GRAND who likes a
little anime on the side in his spare time, he embodies the spirit our
community needs RIGHT NOW
[07:07:04] <&flex> bravo, Joel
[07:07:04] <&flex> I hope you get great benefit in life from this
[07:07:04] <AlphaBlend> yeah
[07:07:04] <AlphaBlend> though i don't wish to be a part of the
higher-ups in this community
[07:07:04] <AlphaBlend> since i have my own duties
[07:07:04] <AlphaBlend> i can hopefully give you guys the drive you need
to succeed
[07:07:04] <AlphaBlend> may my story give you the needed boost