Thoughts

@everyone Just thought I'd share a little bit of what's been going on in my mind this past month and why I haven't been super active on YouTube and Twitch.  At least it seems to me, maybe I've been streaming more often and I didn't know. Because I am a Twitch affiliate now...

I'm really happy about this new PC. It was thanks to the fact that I got lucky and had people who enjoyed watching my stuff on YouTube and Twitch enough that I got paid through Ads and Donations that I was able to afford this PC, even though it was money compiled for a while that I could've just gotten through doing a job.

When it comes to that, I've been stressing over finding one, especially now that I've graduated. However, with my trip to Hong Kong in the summer, it's given me a bit of time to mess around for a while, but I should be using the time to try and propel myself in all directions at the same time. Music, career finding, gaming, entertaining, streaming, family, and so on; all these things feel like they tug at different directions with me in the centre. You know what happens to things when they get pulled? You get torn apart. And that's what it feels like right now for me. So I need to find how to lessen the number of things pulling on me, or I need to find a way to make sure they're all pulling in the same direction.

The biggest thing I was aiming for was to just make it as a musician, that way I could have a job as a musician, and on my spare time I could also do something I enjoy, which is making videos. That is my ultimate dream life. I'm living a trial-demo version of it, and it feels so good. But it's a very difficult industry to get into, and I know it. That's why I want to try my hardest to get going, and gaming is just tugging me in another direction. Maybe I should get in contact with small gaming developers, that could be a good way to start off...
Anyways, I just want to know while I am dealing with all this, I don't want to just cut one of the ropes tugging me in the opposite direction, because I love doing this as well. The bottom line of this is, because I'm being pulled everything, I just feel very torn. With all these projects that I'm putting on myself, I've come to a reality that I cannot do everything by myself. So if I ever ask for any help, it's not because I'm lazy or that I need assistance. It's because I just need someone to help me along the way. So thanks for watching my stuff, thanks for the donations @Raolinn  @Calvin  @Will  @Aegid (Robin)  , when I say it really means a lot to me, this is what I meant by that. Well, it's back to hard work I go!

And no, I'm not quitting MapleStory. This isn't a goodbye message. Gosh, what am I to you guys?

----
My Current Project List:

Gaming:
- RtMD series
- Looking into a second game for the channel
- MapleCraft server set up!
- 2 high production Smash montages
- Maple Academy (high production educational series. Not guide series, educational series.)
- Playing OW and Smash (low priority, casual)

Music
- New album featuring a lot of friends. Spending lots of time learning about music production and sound design for this.
- New single with a friend to mock the Chainsmokers
- Hip Hop / Rap instrumental backtrack album
- Soundtrack to a video game that doesn't exist (see below)

Other Things
- Create a video game. This has been my biggest project ever that I've had forever. Been trying to do this since high school by starting with the story, and I've been failing ever since. I have an orchesetral piece that I'm finishing up, but I think I should write the story first so I can write the music to coincide with it after. Next Undertale, amrite? Haha.

So yeah. Any...thoughts? Comments? I really would like to know what you guys think. Thanks for being awesome fans guys. Just, really.