Spawn the fuck on
Choose a fucking class
kill the shitty supreme clothes vendor cause his armour gets your extra ~~bitches~~ shekels
go kill fucking rider on the ~~storm~~ dragon
talk to nun bitch (you don't need to ever go back to that shithole heides tower again and it's only 2k souls lost)
Buy pharros lockstone, blacksmith key and firebomb (for the shortcut and the fucking barrel that cucked you)
talk to grandmommy
Grab cloranthy ring, slab, life ring and fucking titty ass shards
kill stompy stompy boi
kill purse user
bone back
at that point you got hella fucking shekels so buy enough shards so you have 6 small shards, level up so you have 5k shekels left.
Go to bastille
pick up Double D titty shards
with one in forest of fallen giants, one by the window before pursuer, one above lucatiel, two from McDaddy's workshop, you need to buy 1 Double D shard from the scottish cunt and upgrade your weapon to +6
go fight ed, edd and eddy
go fight sinner
get the fuck back to majula
break your weapon on something
repair
go the fuck somewhere else