Absolute Unit (n): a staggeringly chonky cat

Accempt (v): to graciously receive the offering of a peet, leggie, etc.

Airplane Ears (n): when a cat flattens and angles its ears, so they look like the wings of an airplane; often a sign of irritation, wild play, or interest in a noise behind them; also: owl ears, NYEEEEER

Angy / Amgy (adj): adorably angry; e.g. “no talk me im angy”

Angery / Angory (adj): very grumpy indeed

Attacc (v): to lunge at

Baked Beans (n): when a cat extends its paws toward a heat source, e.g. a radiator or fireplace

Bamboozle (v): to do a heckin confuse

Bebby (n/adj): kitten, small or adorable cat

Beans (n): 1. toes; 2. kittens

Bean Sprouts (n): tufts of fur between toes; also: toe hawks, toe beards

Big Steppy (n): a s t r e t c h u m with only 1 peet forward

Bikkies (n): dry cat food; see also: lööps, cromchies

Bipod / Bi-pawed (n): two-legged cat

Birb (n): feathered and flighted creature; the fortunate have cats to alert them to the presence of such a creature with the warning sound ekekekekekek

Blep (n / v): when a cat forgets to retract its tongue, resulting in hilarity

Boi (n): a cat, often but not necessarily male, can be modified with a descriptor (e.g. nakeyboi, nortyboi)

Bonk (v): to lovingly headbutt one’s hooman; also: nudgems

Boop (v): to touch a cat’s nose with one finger, e.g. “boop the snoot”

Bøtthörle / Bøthörłê (n): butt hole, see also: pööplööp

Bröther (n): human, provider of lööps; also: möther, fäther

Cat Tax (n): the sharing of a cat photo along with one’s post as an offering to the group

Cate / Cade (n): cat

Catio (n): the structure attached to a chonk’s house that allows said chonk to sit behind a screen, daydreaming about chonk cat stuffs

Cattitude (n): the state of being a catto with attitude; sass

Catto (n): cat

Cattoo (n): tattoo of a cat

Chimken (n): 1. a favorite food of chonks; 2. a nakey catto

Chirp (v): to make the “ekekekekek” sound when observing a toy or birb

Chonk (n): a rotund cat

Chonk in training (n): cat or kitten who is not quite chonky yet but has chonk potential

Chonkette (n): a lady chonk, may be pragónté

Chonklet / Chonklette (n): chonky kitten

Chooch (v): to do a thing or to function well, e.g. “he’s choochin so good!”

Choocher (n): one who chooches, e.g. “what a good choocher”

Chumby (adj): rather plump, e.g. “chumby in the tumby”

Chungus (n): an epic chonky cat; e.g. “a chungus among us”

Cloud (n): white cat

Cow (n): white cat with black markings

Cromch / Cronch (v): to eat by crunching wif one’s teefs

Cromchies (n): dry cat food; see also: bikkies, lööps

Danger Hamb / Danger Chonk (n): large wildcat, like a lion, cheetah, tiger, etc.

Do a __ (v): to do, often with a certain panache and vigor. Usually followed by a noun or adjective. e.g. “do a blep”, “do a lewd”

Doggo (n): dogs; also: pupper, pupperino

Donk (n): chonky dog, or a dog that thinks it’s a chonk; also: badonkadonk

Dörty (adj): unclean or lewd

Drumstick (n): one extended back leg, reminiscent of a rotisserie chimken; see also: leggie

Ear furnishings (n): fur tufts inside a cat’s ears; also: ear beards

Ekekekekekek (interjection): the chirping sound a cat makes whilst bird watching

Elevator Butt (n): when a cat is enjoying rump scritches and raises their butt in excitement

Famcy (adj): fancy; e.g. "he a famcy boi in a big bow tie"

Flonk (n): a cat so fluffy they appear to be chonky; may or may not be chonky under all that fur (see secret slonk)

Floof (n): a fluffy cat or kitten

Floofy / Flonfy (adj): fluffy or long-haired

Foob / Füd (n): sustenance

Forbidden cats (n): raccoons, possums, red pandas, otters, etc.

Freshly Baked Beans (n): newborn kittens

Gib (v): give

Görl (n): female cat

Gremlin (n): a grompy hairless cat

Grompy (adj): cranky or ill-tempered, high probability of airplane ears and murder mittens

Hamb (n): cat

Hambi (n): a hamb of unknown gender

Hambina (n): a female hamb

Hambino (n): a male hamb

Hamblet / Hamblette (n): kitten; also: hambelina, hambini, bacon bit

Hambsome (adj): very nice looking and dapper, may be dressed to impress in a nice tie or tophat

Heckin (adj): used as an intensifier to emphasize an action; e.g. “he do a heckin’ screm for more foob”

Henlo (interjection): hello

Herb (pronoun): refers to a female cat, e.g. “I LOVE HERB”

Himb (pronoun): refers to a male cat, e.g. “I LUV HIMB”

Honky (n): oriental Shorthair cats with meows that sound like a goose honk

Hooman (n): bringer of foob, giber of pets, scooper of poops; also: peasant, slave

If I fits, I sits (mantra): cat logic for determining appropriate places for repose

Kitty Glitter (n): the inescapable peppering of cat fur on clothing and furniture

Land Orca (n): a chonky tuxedo cat

Leggie / Legge (n): a cat’s leg, specifically one leg splayed out or “presemted”

Lewd (adj): brazen display of a cat’s norty bits for all the world to see

Loaf (v / n): when a cat sits with all paws tucked under, resembling a loaf of bread

Long boi / Lomgboi (n): when a cat stretches out and looks very l o n g

Lööps (n): cromchy dry cat food; see also: bikkies, cromchies

Lorge (adj): large, e.g. “lorge and in chorge”

Low Rider (n): cat with short legs and/or belly that hangs down close to the ground

Make Biscuits (v): to knead on an item or person

-Air biscuits (n): kneading into the ether; also: sky biscuits

-Prison Biscuits (n): kneading with claws extended; also: murder biscuits, spicy biscuits

-Sin biscuits (n): um... sexytimes, often with the unauthorized usage of a stuffed toy or other household object which then becomes the sole property of the cat

Marshmallow (n): a white or cream colored floof

Merp (v): to make a sudden vocalization expressing surprise or alarm, as when disturbed from slumber; also: brrrp, bwurr, murph

Mlem (v): when a cat briefly extends its tongue in a licking motion

Mönch (v): to eat with enthusiasm

Murder Mittens (n): paws with the claws out; also: danger peets, spicy steppers, mean beans

Nakey (adj): sphinx cat or a shaved cat

Nip Nops (n): nipples; hated by the Zuck; e.g. “there better not be any heckin nip nops in here”

Norty (adj): naughty, a cat who is misbehaving

Oh Lawd, S/He Comin’ (interjection): phrase used in reference to the approach of an absolute unit

Pantaloons (n): the fluff on the back legs and booty of a cat

Patto (v): to pet a catto

Peet / Peets (n): cat paws/feet; see also: steppers

Pirate (n): cat with one eye

Plop (v): to suddenly and dramatically flop into a laying position; also: plorp, flump, flop

Pointy (adj): when a cats claws are extended; see also: murder mittens

Pooch (n): the pouch of many names; the droopy underbelly section that sways when a cat walks; also: fupa, T U M, snacc sacc, chub, jelly belly, flabdomen, chumbles, paunch, flub, cookie pouch, mud flap, floop, etc.

Pööplööp (n): butthole, also: bøtthörle

Poopie Zoomies (n): when a cat races at full speed away from the litterbox after dropping a poop; also: crap lap, poophoria, poomies

Poot (n / v): 1. fart; 2. singular of peets, meaning one paw; also: pøøt or pööt

Potate (n / v): a chonky cat in the loaf position / to be lazy

Pragónté (adj): pregnant; also: pregananant, pergenat, peegnate, pergert, gregnant, pragnart, prangent, pegrant, pregonate, pergenat, pargnet, pgrenant, etc. ad infinitum

Pspspspspsps (interjection): a summoning spell for hambs, effectiveness may vary

Purralyzed (adj): when a cat is laying on you so you can’t move

Purrito (n): 1. a very cozy kitten or cat, typically wrapped in a blanket and purring; 2. a perturbed cat swaddled against its will

Razzle Dazzle (v): to sit with one leg pointing skyward like a pinup model, often lewd; e.g. “give ‘em the ol’ razzle dazzle”

Salami / Little a salami (n): a snacc for hambs; a little should be just fine as a treat

Screm (v): 1. to meow in dismay; 2. to appear to be screaming when caught mid-yawn

Secret Slonk (n): cat that appears to be chonky but is really just fluffy

Schmoo / Schmoopy (n): a very loved cat

Shrimpin (v): to lay curled up in a shrimp shape, sometimes while hugging one’s leggies

Sing the Song of My People (v): to meow repeatedly for no particular reason, often in the wee hours of the morning

Sky Raisin (n): a fly

Slonk (n): a slender cat

Slow Blink (v / n): a sign of affection and contentment, one of the highest forms of chonk praise offered to a hooman; also: love eyes, slow winkies

Smol (adj): of diminutive stature/build (can still be chonky)

Snacc (n / v): treats or snacks / to eat excitedly; see also: monch, cromch

Snoot (n): a cat’s nose

Snoozle (n / v): a nap / to take a nap

Snout Sprouts (n): whiskers

Socks (n): markings on a cats feet that resemble socks; also: boots

Spicy (adj): of sassy, surly, or rambunctious demeanor; the state of having cattitude

Spicy Sky Raisin (n): a bee or wasp

Sploot (v): to lay on stomach with legs splayed out behind, sometimes with paws stretched out in front too

Spoopy (adj): heckin scary; do himb a startle

Steppers (n): a cat’s feet

Stimk Face (n): the dismayed, open-mouthed expression a cat makes after smelling something pungent

Stimky / Stonky (adj): do not like, bad smelling, e.g. “stimky doggo”

Stompies (n): the act of walking all over a hooman

S t r e t c h u m s (n): a cat stretch

Teefs (n): teeth; also: toofs, toofers, teefers

Terminal Baby Disease (n): the affliction of being just baby, very common in felines

Thicc (adj): of ample build

Toasted Marshmallow (n): a white floof with darker coloration on its ears, paws, and/or tail; e.g. siamese and ragdolls

Tortie (n): a tortoiseshell cat (black, brown, and amber fur patterns)

Tortitude (n): the state of being a tortie with attitude/charisma

Triangle Tail (n): the wobbly stage of kittenhood during which the tail is a triangle shape

Tripod / Tripawed (n): cat with three legs

Troublepuffs (n): norty bits of a male cat

Tummy Trap (n): an exposed cat belly you really want to pet, but are likely to encounter murder mittens; also: danger floof

Tuxedo (n): black cat with white marks, especially on chest and belly area

Two of Them / (__ of themb!) (interjection): an exclamation in response to multiple cats, generally of similar size, breed, or color

Void (n): black cat, also: hauspanther, soot sprite

Wonky (adj): special needs cat

Zoomies (n): when a cat races around at full-speed, often at 2 am; usually includes kitty parkour, murder mittens may be in use as well; also: zooms, rips, NYOOOOOOM