Believer (2018)

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INDOXXI
Support dengan like & share :)

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However you wanna express
yourself, gay or lesbian,

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or transgender, or gender queer,

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you are beautiful.

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♪ Heaven help me keep falling ♪

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♪ It's not easy
Finding your place ♪

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This could be our opportunity
to take control of our lives.

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♪ But if it's not love
It'll just break ♪

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♪ It'll surround you ♪

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You can't stop fighting
for the ones you love.

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♪ You can be strong
Standing in place ♪

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♪ Knowing
you'll break through... ♪

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Please understand,
I'm not fighting about bathrooms.

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I'm fighting about her life.

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Well I ask you,
can you see me now?

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♪ But if it's love
It will find you ♪

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♪ Give you more to hold onto ♪

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♪ It will carry the weight ♪

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I like the idea
that the world is changing

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and I get to be whoever I want.

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When it comes to war, I fight.

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When it comes to love,
I don't choose sides.

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This is just basic equality.
That's all it is.

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There's no way to
get an accurate count of.

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LGBT suicides in
the Mormon community,

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but we do know that
youth suicide rates in Utah,

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where a majority of
the populous is Mormon,

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have skyrocketed
over the past decade.

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I grew up gay,
and Mormon, and in Utah.

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In my morning prayers,
I would ask that God

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would do something drastic, like

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cause me to die
in a car accident

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or for me to get cancer
or something awful like that.

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When the God
that you believe in,

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and the family that raised you
and loves you,

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when they reject you,

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you don't have a lot
left to live for.

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You see the church between
kind of a rock and a hard place

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when it comes to gay issues.

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We've taken this topic
on a number of occasions.

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It's not going away.
Where do we stand on this?

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We regard same-sex marriage

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as a significant,
serious kind of sin.

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Simply being attracted

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to someone of the same gender
is not a sin.

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It is when we act on

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the inclination
or the attraction.

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The church finally said there's
nothing wrong with being gay.

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Yay!

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As long as you
don't do gay stuff!

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So, if you're a gay Mormon,

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and you're in a relationship
with a man, you're fine,

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as long as you don't
hug him or kiss him

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or hold hands with him
or have sex with him

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or marry him or live with him or
be in a relationship with him.

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And today, I'm talking with
Las Vegas resident Dan Reynolds,

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who is the lead singer
of Imagine Dragons.

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Reynolds is on a mission

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quite apart from his
musical career.

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He's putting together
a documentary examining

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policies in the Mormon Church
regarding the LGBTQ community.

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Dan Reynolds,
it's great to have you back.

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♪ First things first ♪

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♪ I'ma say all the words
inside my head ♪

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♪ I'm fired up and tired of
the way that things have been ♪

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♪ Oh, oh ♪

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There are far too many Mormons

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in Utah that are
taking their lives.

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And so, this is,

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this is an issue that
needs to be discussed now.

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Uh, the families need
to be having this,

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this discussion
in their homes now.

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♪ I'm the master of my sea ♪

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♪ Oh, oh ♪

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♪ Yeah, the master of my sea ♪

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♪ Oh, oh ♪

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You grew up Mormon.

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You don't have to be
a member of the church.

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A lot of people will say,
you know what,

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if you don't don't agree,
just get out.

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I don't feel a need
to denounce Mormonism.

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I do feel a need, as a Mormon,

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to speak out against things
that I think are hurting people.

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♪ Pain ♪

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♪ You made me a,
you made me a believer ♪

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♪ Believer ♪

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♪ Pain ♪

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Dan, do you feel
like, in some ways,

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you, yourself, might be
leading people astray?

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People have reached
out and said, hey,

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you know, you've lost your way,

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and God believes that
being gay is a sin,

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and you, you know,
you're dragging down, you know...

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you are spreading a message of,
uh, against God's will.

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♪ My life, my love, my drive,
it came from ♪

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♪ Pain ♪

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♪ You made me a,
you made me a believer ♪

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♪ Believer ♪

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Like a lot of rich people,
you could just ignore all this,

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go on with the rest
of your life.

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Why are you doing this? Why are
you putting yourself out there?

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The community I was
raised with is Mormonism,

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and I was always taught

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that if you want to make
a difference in the world,

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you start with your community.

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That's a question
I had as well, Dan. I mean,

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do you actually think you're
gonna change the church?

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♪ My life, my love, my drive ♪

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♪ Pain ♪

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♪ You made me a,
you made me a believer ♪

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♪ Believer ♪

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♪ Young gun
with a quick fuse ♪

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♪ I was uptight
wanna let loose ♪

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♪ I was dreaming
of bigger things and ♪

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♪ Wanna leave
my old life behind ♪

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♪ Not a yes-sir,
not a follower ♪

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♪ Fit the box, fit the mold ♪

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♪ Have a seat in the foyer ♪

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♪ Take a number ♪

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♪ I was light... ♪

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♪ I was lightning
before the thunder ♪

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This song, I think, is
probably gonna be our next single.

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It's been... a little bit

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of the bane of my existence
for the last couple months,

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'cause I just haven't
felt like it was

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totally right yet.

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I woke up at, like,
3:00 AM this morning,

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with like a counter-melody idea
in my head for this end part.

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This song is...
it's called "Thunder,"

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but it's like, you know,

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this, you know,
this time in my life was

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lightning before the thunder.

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It was like, you know,
when I was young,

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feeling a little misplaced,
feeling never quite...

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like I settled in a pocket.

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Go and get Dan.

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I am the seventh
son of nine kids.

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Hey, Danny.

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I was raised
Mormon, Latter-day Saint,

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as Mormons say IDS.

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It was really
all I knew growing up,

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'cause when you
grow up, you just,

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you think everybody's Mormon,

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or at least most of
the world's Mormon.

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So, in the Mormon Church,

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you're supposed
to go on a mission

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when you turn 19 years old.

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A mission is two years
away from your family.

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You knock doors all day.

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We're missionaries from the Church of
Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.

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Okay, we have our
own religion. Thank you.

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Okay, that's okay.

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When you start as a missionary,

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you get into one

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like out of every
hundred doors you knock.

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What carries you on is

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your complete, resolute
belief in what you're doing.

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You are resilient about it,

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and so you knock
those hundred doors.

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If there's anything
I can leave with y'all tonight,

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it would just be that
my testimony of this gospel

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is that I know it's real,

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and it does bring
true happiness.

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When I came home
from my mission,

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and I allowed my brain
to really think about life

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and what I wanted out of it,
and who I wanted to be...

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Everybody, you know,

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in the Mormon community
who knew my family was, like,

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the smart Reynolds, the doctors,

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the lawyers, the good kids.

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You want your daughter to
date a Reynolds boy, you know?

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They're good kids.

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You know, my brothers all
went to BYU. They all married,

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you know, great Mormon girls,
had great Mormon families,

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and I didn't want to be
the one to break that cycle.

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And so it just,
you know, it seemed like,

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"the easy route,"
like, you follow the line.

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Okay, can you
give that to Daddy?

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Daddy?

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Yep?
Get her dressed.

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Okey-dokey.

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Dad, both of the babies
look like little aliens.

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When their eyes are open,
they look like little aliens.

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Yeah? They do look
like little aliens.

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That's kinda what they are.

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Hi, my little alien.

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Can I kiss her, Dad?

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Oh!

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It's not on you.

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I know, but we just cleaned...

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Well, it's okay. Just leave it
for a sec. I'll deal with it.

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Let me just look and see. Oh!

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Yeah, honey, just don't...

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Honey, it's, like, massive.

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I know.
I'll deal with it.

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My family, so,

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I have a four-year-old
daughter, Arrow,

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she was born right when
our first album came out.

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Let's just say, I am the boss.

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And now I have two more
little girls, twins, fraternal.

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She is so cute, honey.

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I know.

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It's killing me.

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My wife, who is the greatest
human being ever...

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Stop picking on her. I'm not.
I'm just trying to get...

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You're like, "She has a furry
head and boogers in her eyes."

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Well, no, I just want to get
the boogers out of her eyes

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'cause that would
drive me crazy, too.

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When I met him,

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he was just a part
of this, kind of,

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I don't want to say closed
community, but it was like

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there wasn't really
a lot of outside...

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It's like a very
Mormon community, you know?

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And, um, I was definitely...
an alien to that.

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We had this, like, connection,

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but there were conversations early on
that were, like, you know, we can't date.

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If I was Mormon, we could
entertain the idea, but we can't.

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♪ Don't be afraid
of me I'm just a sweet... ♪

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We did try to be friends a lot.

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We kept being, like,
okay, look, we're just...

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I can't have you,
like, out of my life.

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So, we had to,
we have to try to figure out

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how to be friends,
but then it would just...

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we would hang out,
or see each other or whatever,

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and it was just,
like, too much energy

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between us to, and it couldn't go
anywhere... She couldn't handle it.

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She couldn't handle the energy.
There was just,

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so much, just, mojo in the air.

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I would always be
like, I can't do this.

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I can't talk to you anymore.

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If we can't be together,
I cannot see you,

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like, I can't talk to you.

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'Cause I was
so in love with him,

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and, um, it just hurt.

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Dan had sent a song
that he had written,

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and he had only written
part of the song.

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And I was like, oh, well,

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I'll just write a verse
and send it back.

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♪ Try one, try two,
and then you're messing it up ♪

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♪ If you ever wanna have it,
then you're giving it up... ♪

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It was, like,
written to me, you know?

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And so, I would, like,
write a response...

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in the song, and it was like

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the stuff we couldn't
say in real life.

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♪ 'Cause I'm
so in love with you ♪

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But it was, like,
still very much, like,

246
00:12:10,458 --> 00:12:12,374
you have to be Mormon
if we're gonna date.

247
00:12:12,375 --> 00:12:13,416
♪ Well, I'm tired ♪

248
00:12:13,417 --> 00:12:15,082
♪ You're tired of acting crazy ♪

249
00:12:15,083 --> 00:12:17,541
♪ Don't make big plans
if you're bein' lazy ♪

250
00:12:17,542 --> 00:12:18,666
♪ Don't make big plans ♪

251
00:12:18,667 --> 00:12:19,833
♪ If you won't follow through ♪

252
00:12:19,834 --> 00:12:20,958
♪ You big baby ♪

253
00:12:20,959 --> 00:12:22,624
♪ Let's speak nothing
but the truth ♪

254
00:12:22,625 --> 00:12:25,582
I was like, I'm not gonna
forget about this person.

255
00:12:25,583 --> 00:12:27,958
He felt like
he was my soul mate,

256
00:12:27,959 --> 00:12:30,875
and so, I decided to start going

257
00:12:31,000 --> 00:12:32,958
and just learning
more about the church.

258
00:12:32,959 --> 00:12:35,833
That's when I started to say,
okay, well, if I can, like,

259
00:12:35,834 --> 00:12:38,499
really, just, follow
my own heart inside of it,

260
00:12:38,500 --> 00:12:40,582
I don't see why I can't, like,

261
00:12:40,583 --> 00:12:42,749
progress in this direction.

262
00:12:42,750 --> 00:12:45,749
So, I did kind of just do that,

263
00:12:45,750 --> 00:12:47,624
and I felt fine about it...

264
00:12:47,625 --> 00:12:48,624
♪ My heart ♪

265
00:12:48,625 --> 00:12:51,124
...except for the gay rights.

266
00:12:51,125 --> 00:12:54,749
The Mormon Church
supported Proposition 8,

267
00:12:54,750 --> 00:12:57,499
a proposal restricting
the definition of marriage

268
00:12:57,500 --> 00:13:00,874
as being a union solely
between a man and a woman.

269
00:13:00,875 --> 00:13:03,249
Mormons became
the most powerful force

270
00:13:03,250 --> 00:13:05,749
in California's fight
against gay marriage,

271
00:13:05,750 --> 00:13:08,541
because the church called
upon its members to donate

272
00:13:08,542 --> 00:13:12,457
as much money and time
as they could to the cause.

273
00:13:12,458 --> 00:13:15,624
And so, we ask you
to give your best

274
00:13:15,625 --> 00:13:17,916
to this most significant effort,

275
00:13:17,917 --> 00:13:20,165
support in every way possible

276
00:13:20,166 --> 00:13:22,624
the sacred institution
of marriage

277
00:13:22,625 --> 00:13:25,416
as we know it to be.

278
00:13:25,417 --> 00:13:28,082
When Prop 8 was going
down, in my heart, I was like,

279
00:13:28,083 --> 00:13:31,082
I don't feel good about this,
but whatever.

280
00:13:31,083 --> 00:13:32,499
It doesn't affect me.

281
00:13:32,500 --> 00:13:33,874
Which I think is
the mentality of,

282
00:13:33,875 --> 00:13:35,708
probably, a lot of
Christians and people.

283
00:13:35,709 --> 00:13:37,541
It doesn't affect me.

284
00:13:37,542 --> 00:13:40,499
Hey, it'll figure itself out
in the eternities with God.

285
00:13:40,500 --> 00:13:43,040
It was right when
I was meeting Aja.

286
00:13:43,041 --> 00:13:45,416
Her two best friends who
were lesbians, and they were,

287
00:13:45,417 --> 00:13:47,833
you know all very
ac... like, very...

288
00:13:47,834 --> 00:13:49,791
Very active.
I mean, I was with them. Yeah.

289
00:13:49,792 --> 00:13:52,207
I was like,
marching alongside them.

290
00:13:52,208 --> 00:13:53,708
Yeah, and so, it was like,
And then...

291
00:13:53,709 --> 00:13:55,082
she was like, well,

292
00:13:55,083 --> 00:13:56,916
they told me that
Mormons believe this,

293
00:13:56,917 --> 00:13:58,040
and that they're really, like,

294
00:13:58,041 --> 00:13:59,290
funding these things
with Prop 8.

295
00:13:59,291 --> 00:14:01,749
Is that true?
And I'm like, well, it is true,

296
00:14:01,750 --> 00:14:04,249
but I... it's, like,
no part of me.

297
00:14:04,250 --> 00:14:07,624
Well, she's like, well, why are you
Mormon then? I'm like, it's complicated.

298
00:14:08,917 --> 00:14:11,165
When I started to look into it,

299
00:14:11,166 --> 00:14:13,374
and take the lessons
and convert,

300
00:14:13,375 --> 00:14:15,999
I really had to ignore
that whole thing.

301
00:14:16,000 --> 00:14:18,417
I had to just ignore it
because I was...

302
00:14:19,333 --> 00:14:21,375
It was infuria... infuriating.

303
00:14:22,625 --> 00:14:24,874
We got married in
my parents' backyard,

304
00:14:24,875 --> 00:14:29,499
and her two best friends
didn't come to our marriage

305
00:14:29,500 --> 00:14:33,416
because she was, basically, marrying
into Mormonism, in their eyes,

306
00:14:33,417 --> 00:14:35,749
which was,
in the heat of Prop 8,

307
00:14:35,750 --> 00:14:38,082
was the reason
they couldn't get married.

308
00:14:38,083 --> 00:14:40,958
His wife's lesbian roommates

309
00:14:40,959 --> 00:14:43,124
not wanting to go
to their wedding,

310
00:14:43,125 --> 00:14:47,249
I think he saw something and said,
"Oh, there's something wrong here.

311
00:14:47,250 --> 00:14:48,874
There's something
that can be better here.

312
00:14:48,875 --> 00:14:50,999
There's something I can fix.
I can do something.

313
00:14:51,000 --> 00:14:53,791
And I don't think
he knew what or how,

314
00:14:53,792 --> 00:14:55,541
but I know he wanted to.

315
00:14:55,542 --> 00:14:59,666
So, I, I, I still feel guilt,

316
00:14:59,667 --> 00:15:02,666
you know, with that,
that I, I, uh...

317
00:15:02,667 --> 00:15:06,457
I just was, like,
a silent person, you know?

318
00:15:06,458 --> 00:15:08,666
Granted, my voice was pretty
meaningless at the time.

319
00:15:09,583 --> 00:15:10,999
Not to say a voice
is meaningless,

320
00:15:11,000 --> 00:15:12,791
but I didn't have
any reach, you know?

321
00:15:12,792 --> 00:15:15,833
My band was
a big puddle of nothing.

322
00:15:15,834 --> 00:15:19,165
Growing up,
Dan was in different bands,

323
00:15:19,166 --> 00:15:22,374
and he'd always
been making music,

324
00:15:22,375 --> 00:15:23,833
but there is no guarantee

325
00:15:23,834 --> 00:15:26,249
you can make something marketable
and earn a living at this.

326
00:15:28,458 --> 00:15:30,374
And I remember one time,

327
00:15:30,375 --> 00:15:32,708
sitting down with
my mom and dad,

328
00:15:32,709 --> 00:15:36,874
and they said, so Dan wants
to do this rock thing,

329
00:15:36,875 --> 00:15:38,040
be in a rock band.

330
00:15:38,041 --> 00:15:39,124
So, just tell us,

331
00:15:39,125 --> 00:15:40,666
what's his chance of success?

332
00:15:40,667 --> 00:15:44,332
Regardless of the fact
that I knew he was driven,

333
00:15:44,333 --> 00:15:45,874
and he had a good voice,

334
00:15:45,875 --> 00:15:47,833
and I thought he wrote
amazing melodies,

335
00:15:47,834 --> 00:15:49,499
I said zero.

336
00:15:50,500 --> 00:15:53,999
♪ I'm waking up
to ash and dust ♪

337
00:15:54,000 --> 00:15:55,791
Imagine Dragons just,

338
00:15:55,792 --> 00:15:57,082
like, boo!

339
00:15:57,083 --> 00:15:59,499
♪ I'm breathing in
the chemicals ♪

340
00:15:59,500 --> 00:16:02,332
Imagine Dragons!

341
00:16:02,333 --> 00:16:04,207
Ah!

342
00:16:04,208 --> 00:16:05,332
Suddenly, it was, like,

343
00:16:05,333 --> 00:16:07,749
everybody just screaming at you,

344
00:16:07,750 --> 00:16:10,290
you know, great things
and terrible things,

345
00:16:10,291 --> 00:16:12,499
and it was all just
a new thing to me.

346
00:16:12,500 --> 00:16:14,207
What's been, like,
the biggest crowd response

347
00:16:14,208 --> 00:16:15,499
that you just felt overwhelmed?

348
00:16:15,500 --> 00:16:17,374
I've been overwhelmed,
honestly, every night.

349
00:16:17,375 --> 00:16:21,457
I don't know that I can
think of many more opposite worlds

350
00:16:21,458 --> 00:16:24,040
than that of a Mormon missionary

351
00:16:24,041 --> 00:16:26,666
and that of a rock star.

352
00:16:26,667 --> 00:16:31,124
It was completely shocking to me to
be kind of thrust into the world.

353
00:16:31,125 --> 00:16:32,499
Like, I had to relearn

354
00:16:32,500 --> 00:16:35,249
everything about everything
I had known.

355
00:16:35,250 --> 00:16:38,291
♪ I'm radioactive, radioactive ♪

356
00:16:46,792 --> 00:16:50,083
Oh, Lord.

357
00:16:54,375 --> 00:16:55,749
"Love your music.

358
00:16:55,750 --> 00:16:59,249
"I heard you have depression.
I also have depression,

359
00:16:59,250 --> 00:17:02,416
"but listening to your music
really takes me away from it.

360
00:17:03,375 --> 00:17:04,833
"Right now, I feel worthless.

361
00:17:04,834 --> 00:17:07,791
"Life is just really hard.
I have no self-esteem,

362
00:17:07,792 --> 00:17:10,999
"but your music makes it much easier.
I'm thankful for your music.

363
00:17:11,000 --> 00:17:13,208
I'm also very thankful
that you are Mormon."

364
00:17:14,417 --> 00:17:16,249
And if I type in Mormon,

365
00:17:16,250 --> 00:17:18,999
there's, like, you know,
hundreds of emails.

366
00:17:19,000 --> 00:17:21,124
"I'm in middle school,
and I'm Mormon,

367
00:17:21,125 --> 00:17:22,791
"but I'm very different.

368
00:17:22,792 --> 00:17:25,874
"I'm not pretty.
I'm not popular,

369
00:17:25,875 --> 00:17:27,082
"but I don't care.

370
00:17:27,083 --> 00:17:28,457
"I have anxiety and depression.

371
00:17:28,458 --> 00:17:30,791
"I've had them
since I was young.

372
00:17:30,792 --> 00:17:32,749
"I was also told
this was Dan Reynolds,

373
00:17:32,750 --> 00:17:35,749
and I thought it would be cool
to tell him about myself."

374
00:17:35,750 --> 00:17:39,290
Suddenly, I started to really
realize the weight of something

375
00:17:39,291 --> 00:17:41,582
that I think I already knew,
which was that

376
00:17:41,583 --> 00:17:44,165
there's not a lot of
famous Mormons.

377
00:17:47,959 --> 00:17:49,791
"I want to tell you
something personal,

378
00:17:49,792 --> 00:17:51,457
"to show you how
important you are for me,

379
00:17:51,458 --> 00:17:52,791
"and how much you help me.

380
00:17:52,792 --> 00:17:55,290
"I'm struggling a lot with
self-acceptance and anxiety.

381
00:17:55,291 --> 00:17:56,791
"This is because
of many reasons.

382
00:17:56,792 --> 00:17:59,332
"There's one big thing
that annoys me the most...

383
00:17:59,333 --> 00:18:00,791
"my sexuality.

384
00:18:00,792 --> 00:18:02,999
"I hate myself
for a lot of this.

385
00:18:04,333 --> 00:18:07,290
"I don't even want to know where
I would be without your music.

386
00:18:07,291 --> 00:18:08,874
"I have no idea if you support

387
00:18:08,875 --> 00:18:11,958
"same-sex marriage,
since you are a Mormon.

388
00:18:11,959 --> 00:18:14,708
"If you don't, it's okay,
and I respect you,

389
00:18:14,709 --> 00:18:16,833
"but if you do support it,
thank you a lot,

390
00:18:16,834 --> 00:18:18,458
and it means the world to me."

391
00:18:20,333 --> 00:18:22,416
Tom, who sent me this email.

392
00:18:22,417 --> 00:18:23,416
Says all these sweet things,

393
00:18:23,417 --> 00:18:24,875
and at the bottom,
you know, hey,

394
00:18:25,834 --> 00:18:27,416
you know, if you do,
I respect you,

395
00:18:27,417 --> 00:18:30,332
but I know that, how he, I know

396
00:18:30,333 --> 00:18:32,457
that he is hurt,

397
00:18:32,458 --> 00:18:35,708
and is looking for someone
from this band that he likes

398
00:18:35,709 --> 00:18:38,666
to tell him, no, Tom,
I'm not judging you, you know.

399
00:18:38,667 --> 00:18:39,999
And I never even wrote him back,

400
00:18:40,000 --> 00:18:42,833
'cause I haven't read
that email till right now

401
00:18:42,834 --> 00:18:44,624
'cause there's
so many emails, but...

402
00:18:54,375 --> 00:18:57,082
This is, this is
something that I've...

403
00:18:57,083 --> 00:18:59,791
really had on my mind for years,

404
00:18:59,792 --> 00:19:02,249
and it's come to a head,
I think, lately...

405
00:19:04,125 --> 00:19:06,791
...because I'm,
because I associate

406
00:19:06,792 --> 00:19:10,040
and my, my, my family's Mormon.

407
00:19:10,041 --> 00:19:11,457
It's my culture.

408
00:19:11,458 --> 00:19:13,624
I know that there are
so many people like this.

409
00:19:13,625 --> 00:19:17,332
Mormons who, I know, look up
to me as a person, you know,

410
00:19:17,333 --> 00:19:19,709
standing as a face
for the Mormon Church.

411
00:19:24,917 --> 00:19:26,666
Um...

412
00:19:26,667 --> 00:19:28,082
Yeah, I've been so conflicted,

413
00:19:28,083 --> 00:19:30,249
'cause I don't know
whether to, you know,

414
00:19:30,250 --> 00:19:34,082
let down all these people who are
Mormon, and, and looking to me,

415
00:19:34,083 --> 00:19:37,749
or... to be part of...

416
00:19:37,750 --> 00:19:40,500
To stand back, and then be...

417
00:19:42,291 --> 00:19:45,207
If I'm passive,
if I'm just standing...

418
00:19:45,208 --> 00:19:47,165
If I just stand back and say,
I don't want to talk about

419
00:19:47,166 --> 00:19:49,874
Mormonism or something
in the press and stuff,

420
00:19:49,875 --> 00:19:53,207
then I've, I have felt this...
Which I have done,

421
00:19:53,208 --> 00:19:55,834
um, then I feel
this burden like...

422
00:19:56,750 --> 00:19:58,709
I feel guilt. I feel like...

423
00:20:00,166 --> 00:20:03,333
I am standing then for bigotry.

424
00:20:12,417 --> 00:20:15,541
I went on a mission at 19.

425
00:20:15,542 --> 00:20:17,249
I think it just felt like a safe

426
00:20:17,250 --> 00:20:21,958
choice to go and give me more
space to figure out myself, so,

427
00:20:21,959 --> 00:20:25,290
I got called to Nebraska,
and I was kinda hoping

428
00:20:25,291 --> 00:20:27,917
I was gonna go to, like,
Tokyo or something.

429
00:20:35,291 --> 00:20:37,708
Tyler and I both
served in Omaha, Nebraska.

430
00:20:37,709 --> 00:20:39,958
He had finished his two years
right as I was coming out.

431
00:20:39,959 --> 00:20:41,791
Like, we barely linked
like that,

432
00:20:41,792 --> 00:20:42,916
but it was enough that, like,

433
00:20:42,917 --> 00:20:46,916
the shadow of Tyler
was still there.

434
00:20:46,917 --> 00:20:51,874
My first companion had a CD that
said, like, "Tyler Glenn" on it,

435
00:20:51,875 --> 00:20:53,749
and he told me that
it was this missionary,

436
00:20:53,750 --> 00:20:55,917
and was writing
songs in his spare time.

437
00:20:56,834 --> 00:20:59,666
♪ Jesus got my back ♪

438
00:20:59,667 --> 00:21:01,165
Yeah, on my mission,

439
00:21:01,166 --> 00:21:03,374
I had, really,
a great experience.

440
00:21:03,375 --> 00:21:06,499
It really shaped this, sort of,

441
00:21:06,500 --> 00:21:10,457
headphone-wearing, like,
kind of, pseudo-Goth kid

442
00:21:10,458 --> 00:21:14,208
uh, into like, a... someone
that could talk to people.

443
00:21:16,041 --> 00:21:18,457
Yeah, and I got home, and,

444
00:21:18,458 --> 00:21:20,666
and, uh,

445
00:21:20,667 --> 00:21:23,833
then I... decided to be
gay for a little bit.

446
00:21:24,792 --> 00:21:26,999
And that started the conflict.

447
00:21:27,000 --> 00:21:30,249
♪ Hey baby,
won't you look my way? ♪

448
00:21:30,250 --> 00:21:33,374
♪ I can be your new addiction ♪

449
00:21:33,375 --> 00:21:34,958
I got home from my mission,

450
00:21:34,959 --> 00:21:38,040
and Tyler has started
a band called Neon Trees.

451
00:21:38,041 --> 00:21:40,207
♪ It started with a whisper ♪

452
00:21:40,208 --> 00:21:43,082
His band blew up,
and then my band blew up.

453
00:21:43,083 --> 00:21:45,165
I would see him at festivals.
I'd be like, hey,

454
00:21:45,166 --> 00:21:46,916
guy that's Mormon in that band,

455
00:21:46,917 --> 00:21:50,082
hey, I'm guy over here
that's Mormon in this band.

456
00:21:50,083 --> 00:21:52,457
I followed him.
I saw the things that he was saying

457
00:21:52,458 --> 00:21:54,749
because he was, like,
a Mormon in the press.

458
00:21:54,750 --> 00:21:56,207
Being gay and closeted,

459
00:21:56,208 --> 00:21:58,082
I became a master
compartmentalizer.

460
00:21:58,083 --> 00:22:00,541
I was able to, sort of,
compartmentalize

461
00:22:00,542 --> 00:22:03,166
a version of Mormonism that fit.

462
00:22:04,375 --> 00:22:06,541
So, come 29,

463
00:22:06,542 --> 00:22:08,457
and we've put out
two successful records,

464
00:22:08,458 --> 00:22:10,082
and we toured
the world six times.

465
00:22:10,083 --> 00:22:13,582
I'm living my dream, you know,
so, like, I should be happy.

466
00:22:13,583 --> 00:22:16,416
And I'm not content at all,
and I'm thinking,

467
00:22:16,417 --> 00:22:18,582
I can't keep thinking
this is a cool secret

468
00:22:18,583 --> 00:22:20,582
that I can live with
the rest of my life.

469
00:22:20,583 --> 00:22:23,166
It was like, I just,
I have to come out.

470
00:22:25,500 --> 00:22:28,833
I came out to my producer.

471
00:22:28,834 --> 00:22:30,082
I was just like, Tim,

472
00:22:30,083 --> 00:22:31,749
do you want to know what
these songs are about?

473
00:22:31,750 --> 00:22:34,207
And, like...

474
00:22:34,208 --> 00:22:37,416
just saying it to him,
and having,

475
00:22:37,417 --> 00:22:39,207
sort of the reaction,

476
00:22:39,208 --> 00:22:43,582
from a... from, like, a straight
man, like, I always feared...

477
00:22:43,583 --> 00:22:46,916
would probably ridicule me
because that was my experience.

478
00:22:46,917 --> 00:22:47,916
Um...

479
00:22:47,917 --> 00:22:50,290
He, like, said,
I'm so happy for you,

480
00:22:50,291 --> 00:22:53,457
and it was the first time
that I ever, um,

481
00:22:53,458 --> 00:22:57,666
attributed, like, positivity,
ever, to being gay.

482
00:22:57,667 --> 00:23:00,791
I was expecting my life
to turn to shit,

483
00:23:00,792 --> 00:23:03,249
or to feel

484
00:23:03,250 --> 00:23:05,290
sinful or shame,
and I didn't at all.

485
00:23:05,291 --> 00:23:07,290
And it was, I was met with such,

486
00:23:07,291 --> 00:23:08,499
um...

487
00:23:08,500 --> 00:23:10,417
you know, just inclusion.

488
00:23:11,625 --> 00:23:14,082
It was, you know,
three years after Prop 8,

489
00:23:14,083 --> 00:23:17,416
so I was met with a lot of
IDS people saying,

490
00:23:17,417 --> 00:23:19,916
we need this
conversation to broaden.

491
00:23:19,917 --> 00:23:21,416
As a church,

492
00:23:21,417 --> 00:23:24,833
nobody should be more
loving and compassionate.

493
00:23:24,834 --> 00:23:26,582
No family who has anybody

494
00:23:26,583 --> 00:23:28,999
who has the same-gender
issue should, uh,

495
00:23:29,000 --> 00:23:31,040
exclude them
from the family circle.

496
00:23:31,041 --> 00:23:34,290
Tyler did an interview with
Rolling Stone that was like,

497
00:23:34,291 --> 00:23:36,124
I'm gonna be gay and Mormon,

498
00:23:36,125 --> 00:23:38,249
and I'm gonna make it work.

499
00:23:38,250 --> 00:23:40,582
And I feel like a lot of
the Mormon community was like,

500
00:23:40,583 --> 00:23:42,499
Woo-hoo! Look at this!

501
00:23:42,500 --> 00:23:44,249
He's gay and he's Mormon.
He's gonna make it work.

502
00:23:44,250 --> 00:23:45,624
What does that mean?
Maybe he's celibate?

503
00:23:45,625 --> 00:23:47,332
I don't know, but hey,
he's gonna make it work.

504
00:23:47,333 --> 00:23:48,916
He's happy. You know?

505
00:23:48,917 --> 00:23:51,374
I started dating
a guy openly, and...

506
00:23:51,375 --> 00:23:54,833
I took him to Temple Square.

507
00:23:54,834 --> 00:23:57,040
For me, it was like,
when you and I have a kid,

508
00:23:57,041 --> 00:24:00,499
we're raising him Mormon,
and this means a lot to me.

509
00:24:00,500 --> 00:24:03,082
And about a month after that,

510
00:24:03,083 --> 00:24:04,582
um, it was November 5th,

511
00:24:04,583 --> 00:24:08,082
and a Po...
The policy was leaked.

512
00:24:08,083 --> 00:24:10,541
The Church of Jesus Christ
of Latter-day Saints

513
00:24:10,542 --> 00:24:13,332
has come under intense scrutiny
following their new official

514
00:24:13,333 --> 00:24:16,666
orders against homosexuality,
baptism and children.

515
00:24:16,667 --> 00:24:19,624
The new policy change states
that same-sex couples

516
00:24:19,625 --> 00:24:21,374
will also now be
considered apostates,

517
00:24:21,375 --> 00:24:24,541
saying it will no longer
bless or baptize children

518
00:24:24,542 --> 00:24:28,124
of same-sex couples
until the child turns 18.

519
00:24:28,125 --> 00:24:29,624
Once a child turns 18,

520
00:24:29,625 --> 00:24:32,374
he or she will have to disavow
same-sex marriage,

521
00:24:32,375 --> 00:24:35,625
then they can be blessed
and baptized by the church.

522
00:24:37,125 --> 00:24:39,082
There was a
variant in the church.

523
00:24:39,083 --> 00:24:41,749
It suddenly felt dark, and I'd
never felt dark at church.

524
00:24:41,750 --> 00:24:43,791
I'd always felt like,
this is the safe place,

525
00:24:43,792 --> 00:24:45,124
and I need to cling to this.

526
00:24:45,125 --> 00:24:49,541
Um, I'm watching my brother
baptize his son,

527
00:24:49,542 --> 00:24:51,416
and he, and I don't
ever get to do that

528
00:24:51,417 --> 00:24:54,457
because I'm gay
and he's straight, and, um...

529
00:24:54,458 --> 00:24:56,999
I just had taken, you know...

530
00:24:57,000 --> 00:25:00,500
the guy I was seeing to the temple
and I was doing all of these...

531
00:25:01,917 --> 00:25:04,541
these things to sort of
remain, and I...

532
00:25:04,542 --> 00:25:07,124
It just hit me that
I have to leave.

533
00:25:07,125 --> 00:25:08,833
And I remember...

534
00:25:08,834 --> 00:25:12,125
telling my mom on the way
to dinner after the baptism.

535
00:25:14,583 --> 00:25:16,582
I'm like, Mom, I, I...

536
00:25:16,583 --> 00:25:19,374
I believe, and I, um...

537
00:25:19,375 --> 00:25:20,666
and I know
the Book of Mormon is true.

538
00:25:20,667 --> 00:25:22,332
I know the church is true,
but I have to leave

539
00:25:22,333 --> 00:25:24,999
because, like,
they've clearly drawn a line,

540
00:25:25,000 --> 00:25:28,667
and it feels like the last,
you know, gut punch.

541
00:25:29,750 --> 00:25:32,582
♪ Faith ♪

542
00:25:32,583 --> 00:25:35,082
♪ Please have a little in me ♪

543
00:25:35,083 --> 00:25:36,250
♪ Hate ♪

544
00:25:37,750 --> 00:25:40,249
♪ I know you hate it
when I stray ♪

545
00:25:40,250 --> 00:25:42,040
♪ But I tried everything ♪

546
00:25:42,041 --> 00:25:44,457
♪ I drank the wine
and stained the sheets ♪

547
00:25:44,458 --> 00:25:49,416
♪ I'm clumsy when I speak ♪

548
00:25:49,417 --> 00:25:52,040
I just realized,
I need to make an album

549
00:25:52,041 --> 00:25:53,207
about all these feelings.

550
00:25:53,208 --> 00:25:56,541
♪ You never call me anymore ♪

551
00:25:56,542 --> 00:25:57,958
Tyler put out a record

552
00:25:57,959 --> 00:26:01,207
that was very controversial
within the Mormon community.

553
00:26:01,208 --> 00:26:05,999
♪ God, where the hell
are you hiding? ♪

554
00:26:06,000 --> 00:26:09,958
♪ My hands are in the air
and I'm excited ♪

555
00:26:09,959 --> 00:26:13,290
It was very visceral,
and, like, very angry.

556
00:26:13,291 --> 00:26:14,791
He was, like, ripping up
the Book of Mormon,

557
00:26:14,792 --> 00:26:17,582
and he was painting on,
like, the apostles' faces.

558
00:26:17,583 --> 00:26:20,290
A lot of Mormons saw that
and were, like,

559
00:26:20,291 --> 00:26:22,332
offended and angry at Tyler.

560
00:26:22,333 --> 00:26:25,541
And then I think a lot of Mormons
saw it and were hurt for Tyler.

561
00:26:25,542 --> 00:26:29,332
It definitely weighed, like,
very heavily on my heart.

562
00:26:29,333 --> 00:26:32,249
♪ I've been on the run ♪

563
00:26:32,250 --> 00:26:34,749
♪ So I'm not coming Sunday ♪

564
00:26:34,750 --> 00:26:37,082
♪ It's all right ♪

565
00:26:37,083 --> 00:26:38,916
♪ I'll probably talk to you ♪

566
00:26:38,917 --> 00:26:43,333
♪ At midnight ♪

567
00:26:47,250 --> 00:26:48,250
Cool.

568
00:26:52,667 --> 00:26:53,666
Hey, dude.

569
00:26:53,667 --> 00:26:55,290
Hey, how you doing man?

570
00:26:55,291 --> 00:26:56,582
Good, man.

571
00:26:56,583 --> 00:26:58,503
Man, I don't even
know where to start. Um...

572
00:26:59,667 --> 00:27:03,666
Really, I, I feel like
I should've made this call,

573
00:27:03,667 --> 00:27:05,667
like, two years ago.

574
00:27:06,917 --> 00:27:09,959
You know, I've watched
you over the last...

575
00:27:11,041 --> 00:27:12,207
you know, couple years,

576
00:27:12,208 --> 00:27:14,290
and I've watched you
just go through this,

577
00:27:14,291 --> 00:27:15,624
and I've been like,

578
00:27:15,625 --> 00:27:17,666
a really...

579
00:27:17,667 --> 00:27:19,708
shitty bystander, honestly.

580
00:27:19,709 --> 00:27:21,040
And so I guess, first...
Mm.

581
00:27:21,041 --> 00:27:23,874
I just want to, like,
apologize because I feel like,

582
00:27:23,875 --> 00:27:26,041
you know, I feel like,

583
00:27:27,500 --> 00:27:29,874
you know, I don't know who else

584
00:27:29,875 --> 00:27:31,290
you could relate to...
How many other people

585
00:27:31,291 --> 00:27:33,332
you could relate to in
this industry that are, like,

586
00:27:33,333 --> 00:27:36,541
Mormon, and have to feel
conflicted about

587
00:27:36,542 --> 00:27:38,374
all these things,
and I don't know...

588
00:27:38,375 --> 00:27:40,666
Dude, thanks. That really
means a lot. Thank you.

589
00:27:40,667 --> 00:27:42,207
Wow, that's really cool.

590
00:27:42,208 --> 00:27:43,874
Seriously. Seriously.

591
00:27:43,875 --> 00:27:46,708
But the question I wanted
to ask you is, what now?

592
00:27:46,709 --> 00:27:48,541
Like, what can I do...

593
00:27:48,542 --> 00:27:50,916
I know.
...to what can, like...

594
00:27:50,917 --> 00:27:52,874
You know, I had, like,
this little idea in my head,

595
00:27:52,875 --> 00:27:54,082
and tell me if it's stupid.

596
00:27:54,083 --> 00:27:57,416
What if me and you got together,
and we put on, like,

597
00:27:57,417 --> 00:27:59,249
a big event in Salt Lake City?

598
00:27:59,250 --> 00:28:02,041
Me, you, some people who can
come together, and be, like...

599
00:28:03,375 --> 00:28:06,332
inclusive of everybody,
and tell them all, like,

600
00:28:06,333 --> 00:28:07,749
this needs to change.

601
00:28:07,750 --> 00:28:09,791
You know, I know we can't
force the church to change it,

602
00:28:09,792 --> 00:28:12,541
but maybe we can, like,
by raising more awareness,

603
00:28:12,542 --> 00:28:13,916
and making more Mormons,

604
00:28:13,917 --> 00:28:16,207
in their heart, feel like
this isn't right,

605
00:28:16,208 --> 00:28:17,916
maybe that's the begin...
You know what I mean?

606
00:28:17,917 --> 00:28:19,082
Maybe that's what's gonna start

607
00:28:19,083 --> 00:28:20,582
the change.
That's what it takes, man.

608
00:28:20,583 --> 00:28:22,249
Dude, I'm down.
Like, absolutely.

609
00:28:22,250 --> 00:28:23,290
Let's do it.

610
00:28:26,125 --> 00:28:27,749
I'm so amped right now.

611
00:28:27,750 --> 00:28:29,582
I'm like, we're gonna do
this amazing thing!

612
00:28:29,583 --> 00:28:32,666
This is for Mormons,
this is for non-Mormons.

613
00:28:32,667 --> 00:28:34,958
This is for the LGBT
non-Mormons,

614
00:28:34,959 --> 00:28:38,082
LGBT Mormons. Like, this is
for the world to come to.

615
00:28:38,083 --> 00:28:39,249
So, you know what
I thought about?

616
00:28:39,250 --> 00:28:40,666
First thing that came to my mind?
What?

617
00:28:40,667 --> 00:28:43,499
Food. What are
we gonna do for food?

618
00:28:43,500 --> 00:28:46,457
If we can get
food trucks, awesome.

619
00:28:46,458 --> 00:28:47,791
That's what I think.
I'm thinking food,

620
00:28:47,792 --> 00:28:49,124
and really what
I should be thinking is

621
00:28:49,125 --> 00:28:51,666
how do we not offend 50
percent of the people who come?

622
00:28:51,667 --> 00:28:53,082
You're just trying
to enlighten people.

623
00:28:53,083 --> 00:28:54,833
You're not trying
to offend anyone.

624
00:28:54,834 --> 00:28:57,290
See what you just said right there?
Enlighten people.

625
00:28:57,291 --> 00:28:59,165
You think that's offensive?
That says to people,

626
00:28:59,166 --> 00:29:01,833
you're in the dark,
let me enlighten you.

627
00:29:01,834 --> 00:29:03,999
No, no, no, no, no.
Educate.

628
00:29:04,000 --> 00:29:05,958
You're stupid,
let me educate you.

629
00:29:05,959 --> 00:29:07,791
No. That's not true.

630
00:29:07,792 --> 00:29:09,457
I think people don't
know statistics.

631
00:29:09,458 --> 00:29:11,582
They don't know the reality
of what's happening.

632
00:29:11,583 --> 00:29:13,374
You can't come in and say,
"You're wrong."

633
00:29:13,375 --> 00:29:15,499
No. You have to come in and say,

634
00:29:15,500 --> 00:29:17,499
"Let's talk, and believe in

635
00:29:17,500 --> 00:29:19,624
the goodness of people." You
have to change people's minds

636
00:29:19,625 --> 00:29:21,165
as a friend and an ally.

637
00:29:21,166 --> 00:29:22,999
You don't have to change
people's minds.

638
00:29:23,000 --> 00:29:24,249
They have to change their minds.

639
00:29:24,250 --> 00:29:26,999
We have to, like,
in my opinion, it's like...

640
00:29:27,000 --> 00:29:28,791
Did you put boloney in this?

641
00:29:28,792 --> 00:29:30,124
There's ham in there.

642
00:29:30,125 --> 00:29:31,958
It's really weird tasting.
Is it?

643
00:29:31,959 --> 00:29:33,666
We don't usually put ham
in sandwiches, right?

644
00:29:33,667 --> 00:29:35,999
This is the first time. No,
but it's, like, what was in there.

645
00:29:36,000 --> 00:29:38,541
The Mormon... This is where
I was raised, Mormonism.

646
00:29:38,542 --> 00:29:40,708
So, this is my community,
these are my people.

647
00:29:40,709 --> 00:29:42,833
That's the last thing
that I want to do

648
00:29:42,834 --> 00:29:44,666
is to say,
"I'm right, you're wrong."

649
00:29:44,667 --> 00:29:46,124
"Look, come and let me
tell you why."

650
00:29:46,125 --> 00:29:48,457
It needs to be,
everybody come to the table

651
00:29:48,458 --> 00:29:50,374
and let's see what's happening.

652
00:29:50,375 --> 00:29:53,249
This is... these are
the people who are in it.

653
00:29:53,250 --> 00:29:54,624
You know.
Yeah.

654
00:29:54,625 --> 00:29:57,582
Their message is 10 times more
powerful than me getting up,

655
00:29:57,583 --> 00:30:00,374
Hey, I'm the singer of Imagine
Dragons. You know that song?

656
00:30:00,375 --> 00:30:02,999
♪ Radioactive! Radioactive! ♪

657
00:30:03,000 --> 00:30:05,207
Now let me tell you everything
that I know about this subject

658
00:30:05,208 --> 00:30:07,124
because I really don't
know that much,

659
00:30:07,125 --> 00:30:08,999
and everybody's gonna be like...

660
00:30:09,000 --> 00:30:12,165
I'm all heart. I'm...
The education is yet to come.

661
00:30:13,750 --> 00:30:15,082
So...

662
00:30:15,083 --> 00:30:16,959
Oh gosh. Well, hey,

663
00:30:17,875 --> 00:30:19,582
we are kind of all heart.

664
00:30:25,709 --> 00:30:26,708
Hello?

665
00:30:26,709 --> 00:30:27,792
John, how you doing?

666
00:30:28,709 --> 00:30:30,708
Good, how are you, Dan?
Hey.

667
00:30:30,709 --> 00:30:32,874
It's an honor to, uh...

668
00:30:32,875 --> 00:30:34,249
to, to talk and to meet.

669
00:30:34,250 --> 00:30:35,708
Right back at you.
Yeah. Virtually.

670
00:30:35,709 --> 00:30:37,165
Can you hear and see me okay?

671
00:30:37,166 --> 00:30:39,082
Yeah, I, I hear
and I see you good.

672
00:30:39,083 --> 00:30:41,541
Um, you're a little choppy
here and there, but not bad.

673
00:30:41,542 --> 00:30:44,332
I'll close a bunch of windows
and just make sure.

674
00:30:44,333 --> 00:30:46,958
Yeah, are you playing World of
Warcraft while you're talking to me?

675
00:30:46,959 --> 00:30:50,040
No, I'm not.

676
00:30:50,041 --> 00:30:51,207
My name is John Dehlin,

677
00:30:51,208 --> 00:30:54,040
and I'm a sixth-generation
Mormon,

678
00:30:54,041 --> 00:30:58,082
raised, uh, as a devout
orthodox-believing Mormon.

679
00:30:58,083 --> 00:30:59,624
Mormonism was everything to me

680
00:30:59,625 --> 00:31:01,082
'cause my parents
had been divorced,

681
00:31:01,083 --> 00:31:04,207
and I felt like the church
took care of me and nurtured me

682
00:31:04,208 --> 00:31:06,124
when my family
was falling apart.

683
00:31:06,125 --> 00:31:07,833
In 2009, I started a PhD

684
00:31:07,834 --> 00:31:10,207
in clinical
and counseling psychology.

685
00:31:10,208 --> 00:31:14,541
I was just noticing all these LGBT Mormons
that were depressed and suicidal,

686
00:31:14,542 --> 00:31:15,916
and, um...

687
00:31:15,917 --> 00:31:18,457
the church was encouraging
mixed orientation marriages,

688
00:31:18,458 --> 00:31:20,999
where you're gay, but you
marry a straight person.

689
00:31:21,000 --> 00:31:23,332
My name is Ricardo.

690
00:31:23,333 --> 00:31:25,290
I am a Mormon.

691
00:31:25,291 --> 00:31:27,999
I'm a father of six children,

692
00:31:28,000 --> 00:31:29,624
and I am attracted to men.

693
00:31:29,625 --> 00:31:32,082
The attractions aren't
gonna go away.

694
00:31:32,083 --> 00:31:33,958
They're gonna be there
my whole life,

695
00:31:33,959 --> 00:31:37,582
but I don't feel that I'm
losing anything in my life.

696
00:31:37,583 --> 00:31:39,791
To me, that's being authentic,

697
00:31:39,792 --> 00:31:43,916
is it's finding that
core happiness within you.

698
00:31:43,917 --> 00:31:46,708
And for me, it's important
that that core happiness

699
00:31:46,709 --> 00:31:49,833
is aligned with
my beliefs in the gospel.

700
00:31:49,834 --> 00:31:51,332
They were encouraging celibacy.

701
00:31:51,333 --> 00:31:54,082
I feel now, being around people

702
00:31:54,083 --> 00:31:56,249
that know that I'm gay,

703
00:31:56,250 --> 00:31:58,124
I'm able to be myself.

704
00:31:58,125 --> 00:32:01,416
And I'm not having to

705
00:32:01,417 --> 00:32:04,207
make up excuses of
why I'm not dating

706
00:32:04,208 --> 00:32:07,416
or I'm not married
or I'm not falling in love.

707
00:32:07,417 --> 00:32:10,249
What's been so great
about this experience

708
00:32:10,250 --> 00:32:13,082
is that I've been
able to understand

709
00:32:13,083 --> 00:32:14,874
what really makes me happy,

710
00:32:14,875 --> 00:32:18,207
and that is pleasing God.

711
00:32:18,208 --> 00:32:20,290
So, we decided to study, uh,

712
00:32:20,291 --> 00:32:24,332
what decisions led to healthy
outcomes for LGBT people,

713
00:32:24,333 --> 00:32:26,749
and what decisions
led to unhealthy outcomes.

714
00:32:27,834 --> 00:32:30,708
I just wanted to understand
a couple things.

715
00:32:30,709 --> 00:32:33,791
Can you change being gay
or lesbian if you try?

716
00:32:33,792 --> 00:32:36,374
What happens if you
just try to be celibate?

717
00:32:36,375 --> 00:32:39,874
What happens if you just
try and marry a woman?

718
00:32:39,875 --> 00:32:42,416
Mixed orientation marriages
were a disaster.

719
00:32:42,417 --> 00:32:45,207
Celibacy was the worst
possible option

720
00:32:45,208 --> 00:32:47,416
that they could have chosen.

721
00:32:47,417 --> 00:32:48,416
Uh...

722
00:32:48,417 --> 00:32:49,874
Hundreds and hundreds
of the people

723
00:32:49,875 --> 00:32:51,874
mentioned suicide
in their narratives,

724
00:32:51,875 --> 00:32:54,791
of wanting to kill themselves
because of the struggle.

725
00:32:54,792 --> 00:32:56,874
Feeling like God
didn't love 'em,

726
00:32:56,875 --> 00:32:58,416
that God wouldn't heal them,

727
00:32:58,417 --> 00:33:01,708
and so they must have been
beyond God's love and power.

728
00:33:01,709 --> 00:33:05,374
The suicide rates,
uh, in Utah are alarming.

729
00:33:05,375 --> 00:33:07,374
We've seen the suicide rates

730
00:33:07,375 --> 00:33:09,958
of youth between the ages
of 15 and 19

731
00:33:09,959 --> 00:33:11,916
double in the past
two to three years,

732
00:33:11,917 --> 00:33:15,999
and triple over the past
eight or nine years since 2008.

733
00:33:16,000 --> 00:33:19,958
Nowhere else in the entire
United States are we seeing

734
00:33:19,959 --> 00:33:23,499
youth suicide rates
double and triple

735
00:33:23,500 --> 00:33:25,833
over that same time period.

736
00:33:25,834 --> 00:33:27,749
And so, what's the cause?

737
00:33:27,750 --> 00:33:30,082
What happened in 2007, 2008?

738
00:33:30,083 --> 00:33:33,249
It was when
the predominant religion

739
00:33:33,250 --> 00:33:38,333
within the state of Utah
declares war on LGBT people.

740
00:33:39,625 --> 00:33:41,249
Today, I'd like to explain

741
00:33:41,250 --> 00:33:44,125
how I became an LGBT ally
as a Mormon.

742
00:33:45,041 --> 00:33:48,999
I gave a TED Talk in, uh, 2013.

743
00:33:49,000 --> 00:33:51,457
I want to begin
by making a point.

744
00:33:51,458 --> 00:33:55,374
That you can literally
save the lives

745
00:33:55,375 --> 00:33:57,999
of your LGBT
brothers and sisters,

746
00:33:58,000 --> 00:34:00,582
sons and daughters,
through love.

747
00:34:00,583 --> 00:34:05,958
Well, I gave the TED Talk in,
like, October or November, 2013,

748
00:34:05,959 --> 00:34:08,582
and by January
or February of 2014,

749
00:34:08,583 --> 00:34:10,541
my bishop had called me in,

750
00:34:10,542 --> 00:34:12,124
and, uh, told me he was starting

751
00:34:12,125 --> 00:34:14,749
an investigation
into my membership.

752
00:34:14,750 --> 00:34:16,541
And in February of 2015,

753
00:34:16,542 --> 00:34:18,249
I was excommunicated
from the church.

754
00:34:18,250 --> 00:34:20,874
Hmm.
There's no doubt in my mind

755
00:34:20,875 --> 00:34:23,749
that my public support
of LGBT people

756
00:34:23,750 --> 00:34:25,792
was a major factor
in my excommunication.

757
00:34:27,291 --> 00:34:30,165
Excommunication is
about the worst thing

758
00:34:30,166 --> 00:34:31,916
that a Mormon could
ever experience.

759
00:34:31,917 --> 00:34:35,124
It basically means,
from a religious perspective,

760
00:34:35,125 --> 00:34:38,457
that you're cut off from your
family for all of eternity.

761
00:34:38,458 --> 00:34:39,874
That your family's gonna go

762
00:34:39,875 --> 00:34:41,624
to this really nice place
in heaven,

763
00:34:41,625 --> 00:34:44,958
and you're gonna be alone,
uh, in a dark, sad place,

764
00:34:44,959 --> 00:34:46,499
and that's what
excommunication means.

765
00:34:46,500 --> 00:34:48,708
It means you can't
participate in church.

766
00:34:48,709 --> 00:34:52,332
It's basically condemning you to
the Mormon equivalent of hell.

767
00:34:52,333 --> 00:34:54,624
And it was... But more than that,

768
00:34:54,625 --> 00:34:56,874
it's cutting you off
from your tribe.

769
00:34:56,875 --> 00:34:58,332
It's cutting you off
from your people,

770
00:34:58,333 --> 00:35:00,833
from your friends,
from your family.

771
00:35:00,834 --> 00:35:02,916
Uh, I have family members
that won't speak to me.

772
00:35:02,917 --> 00:35:06,582
Um, and it's...
devastating.

773
00:35:06,583 --> 00:35:09,083
Oh, man. Uh...

774
00:35:10,500 --> 00:35:14,999
My family is all Mormon,
and they're very active.

775
00:35:15,000 --> 00:35:19,666
I have a... I have a real fear
of losing all that.

776
00:35:19,667 --> 00:35:22,999
Maybe you've heard
the quote, um,

777
00:35:23,000 --> 00:35:27,207
"The only thing required
for evil to persist

778
00:35:27,208 --> 00:35:28,833
is for good men to do nothing."

779
00:35:28,834 --> 00:35:31,666
You've probably heard that, right?
I have. Yeah.

780
00:35:31,667 --> 00:35:32,874
I've always loved the church.

781
00:35:32,875 --> 00:35:35,666
I still do. I still
consider myself Mormon.

782
00:35:35,667 --> 00:35:38,749
Um... and so... But I felt
the same way you did.

783
00:35:38,750 --> 00:35:42,749
I didn't want to leave it.
I didn't want to be excommunicated.

784
00:35:42,750 --> 00:35:46,541
I do think the number
of overt bigots out there,

785
00:35:46,542 --> 00:35:49,165
as a percentage,
is really small,

786
00:35:49,166 --> 00:35:51,833
but the number of,
of Mormons, frankly,

787
00:35:51,834 --> 00:35:54,624
who just have decided
to remain silent

788
00:35:54,625 --> 00:35:56,332
is extremely large.

789
00:35:56,333 --> 00:35:59,457
And so,
I've been watching you guys.

790
00:35:59,458 --> 00:36:02,916
And in my heart, I'm just like,
things are gonna change

791
00:36:02,917 --> 00:36:05,290
when these guys are
willing to speak up.

792
00:36:09,333 --> 00:36:11,708
♪ Here's to my future ♪

793
00:36:11,709 --> 00:36:13,999
♪ Here's to my yesterday ♪

794
00:36:14,000 --> 00:36:16,207
♪ Here's to change, oh ♪

795
00:36:16,208 --> 00:36:18,791
♪ Here's to my yesterday ♪

796
00:36:18,792 --> 00:36:23,207
♪ No tomorrow
without a yesterday ♪

797
00:36:23,208 --> 00:36:24,833
♪ Here's to my future ♪

798
00:36:24,834 --> 00:36:27,249
This house
was built 125 years ago

799
00:36:27,250 --> 00:36:29,416
by a polygamist named
William D. Alexander.

800
00:36:29,417 --> 00:36:31,290
Yeah, you actually, you have
the view of the temple...

801
00:36:31,291 --> 00:36:32,833
So, check out that.
Wow, yeah.

802
00:36:32,834 --> 00:36:35,666
Little did he know
that someday his rainbow window

803
00:36:35,667 --> 00:36:37,916
would perfectly
encase that Moroni.

804
00:36:37,917 --> 00:36:40,791
The Captain Moroni on the top
of the Mormon Temple. Yeah.

805
00:36:41,959 --> 00:36:43,165
So, the kids can kind of, just,

806
00:36:43,166 --> 00:36:44,582
come in here after school's out.

807
00:36:44,583 --> 00:36:48,290
Just come hang out, find a place
of just refuge and kind of...

808
00:36:48,291 --> 00:36:49,499
Yeah. The whole idea is

809
00:36:49,500 --> 00:36:51,582
they just walk in like
it's their own home.

810
00:36:51,583 --> 00:36:54,249
Um, I did have
an area authority ask me,

811
00:36:54,250 --> 00:36:55,457
when these kids come here,

812
00:36:55,458 --> 00:36:58,040
and you're going to
make them more gay,

813
00:36:58,041 --> 00:37:00,541
and their families aren't...

814
00:37:00,542 --> 00:37:01,999
And I was like, no, no, no, no.

815
00:37:02,000 --> 00:37:04,708
We are just here
to love and support them,

816
00:37:04,709 --> 00:37:06,499
and give them
a safe place to be.

817
00:37:06,500 --> 00:37:09,416
♪ Here's to my yesterday ♪

818
00:37:09,417 --> 00:37:13,708
So, maybe tell me about
how you got involved here.

819
00:37:13,709 --> 00:37:17,332
My mom is... working here?
Is that what it is?

820
00:37:17,333 --> 00:37:20,791
I am volunteering here. Yeah.
Volunteering.

821
00:37:20,792 --> 00:37:23,165
When you came out,

822
00:37:23,166 --> 00:37:26,791
how was that received with
your friends, with the church?

823
00:37:26,792 --> 00:37:29,249
Um, it was only this Sunday

824
00:37:29,250 --> 00:37:31,666
that I came out to the church.
Okay.

825
00:37:32,750 --> 00:37:34,833
Hi, my name is Savannah,

826
00:37:34,834 --> 00:37:37,457
and I want to share
my testimony with you.

827
00:37:37,458 --> 00:37:40,582
I believe I'm a child with
heavenly parents. I don't...

828
00:37:40,583 --> 00:37:43,708
I went up during
testimony meeting,

829
00:37:43,709 --> 00:37:47,165
and I bore my testimony on how

830
00:37:47,166 --> 00:37:50,082
everyone is made
the certain way that they are,

831
00:37:50,083 --> 00:37:52,541
and how I was made to be gay.

832
00:37:52,542 --> 00:37:55,124
I believe I was made
the way I am...

833
00:37:55,125 --> 00:37:56,874
I felt nervous, actually,

834
00:37:56,875 --> 00:38:00,249
'cause I didn't know
what people would react.

835
00:38:00,250 --> 00:38:03,290
They did not mess up
when they gave me freckles

836
00:38:03,291 --> 00:38:05,833
or when they made me to be gay.

837
00:38:05,834 --> 00:38:07,332
God loves me just this way

838
00:38:07,333 --> 00:38:10,165
because I believe that
he loves all his creations.

839
00:38:10,166 --> 00:38:12,708
I hope to get married
and have a family.

840
00:38:12,709 --> 00:38:15,457
I know these dreams and wishes
are good and right.

841
00:38:15,458 --> 00:38:17,249
I know I can have
all of these things

842
00:38:17,250 --> 00:38:19,791
as a, as a lesbian
and be happy...

843
00:38:19,792 --> 00:38:23,582
I didn't get to finish all
the way through my testimony.

844
00:38:23,583 --> 00:38:25,582
I think it was, like,
a paragraph later after

845
00:38:25,583 --> 00:38:28,165
I said the word "lesbian,"

846
00:38:28,166 --> 00:38:29,791
they cut me off.

847
00:38:29,792 --> 00:38:31,082
I want to love myself

848
00:38:31,083 --> 00:38:33,708
and not feel ashamed
for being me.

849
00:38:33,709 --> 00:38:35,125
I ask you to...

850
00:38:39,917 --> 00:38:42,416
It was a member of the
stake presidency that was there.

851
00:38:42,417 --> 00:38:43,749
He leaned over to a counselor...

852
00:38:43,750 --> 00:38:44,916
Leaned over and have him

853
00:38:44,917 --> 00:38:46,750
turn off the mic
and asked her to go sit.

854
00:38:48,291 --> 00:38:52,499
It was a little depressing
and sad when it happened,

855
00:38:52,500 --> 00:38:57,833
but I feel more happy now
that it has happened,

856
00:38:57,834 --> 00:39:00,207
'cause now I got
to share my feelings.

857
00:39:03,000 --> 00:39:05,749
You know, if my answer
of what resonates here

858
00:39:05,750 --> 00:39:10,624
doesn't line up with what
the prophet, etcetera, says,

859
00:39:10,625 --> 00:39:14,666
you know, it's like, hard
for my family to see that.

860
00:39:14,667 --> 00:39:18,582
All I can do is accept them
and love them where they're at,

861
00:39:18,583 --> 00:39:21,582
and, like, hope
that they can offer...

862
00:39:21,583 --> 00:39:23,582
um,

863
00:39:23,583 --> 00:39:27,416
the same thing back to me.

864
00:39:29,125 --> 00:39:32,040
Something that happened recently with
my brother who was on his mission.

865
00:39:32,041 --> 00:39:34,916
He was, like, one of the first
people that I came out to.

866
00:39:34,917 --> 00:39:39,582
Um... about the time, I told him,
and when I came out, he was like,

867
00:39:39,583 --> 00:39:42,082
"No, it's just the devil,"
and he slapped me really hard.

868
00:39:42,083 --> 00:39:44,290
So when you told him,

869
00:39:44,291 --> 00:39:46,958
he said, "It's the devil,"
and he slapped you? Yeah.

870
00:39:46,959 --> 00:39:49,749
Because you were,
like, following the devil?

871
00:39:49,750 --> 00:39:51,542
Yes.
In the callings? Wow.

872
00:39:52,542 --> 00:39:54,874
All of you, in my opinion,

873
00:39:54,875 --> 00:39:57,207
even being here right now,

874
00:39:57,208 --> 00:39:58,624
um...

875
00:39:58,625 --> 00:40:01,791
are far braver than
I could've ever understood

876
00:40:01,792 --> 00:40:03,541
'cause I'm just, like,
dealing with, like,

877
00:40:03,542 --> 00:40:06,290
oh, religion and these things,
you know, but...

878
00:40:06,291 --> 00:40:09,290
but you guys are, are so brave.

879
00:40:09,291 --> 00:40:11,791
Thank you. Thank you
for letting me sit in

880
00:40:11,792 --> 00:40:13,916
and be part of what
could be so uncomfortable,

881
00:40:13,917 --> 00:40:17,124
and I can be the most awkward
person ever.

882
00:40:17,125 --> 00:40:19,791
And you guys have made me feel
totally comfortable here, too.

883
00:40:19,792 --> 00:40:21,207
And, um, so, thank you.

884
00:40:21,208 --> 00:40:23,374
I love you all,
and love is love,

885
00:40:23,375 --> 00:40:25,332
and, uh, yeah. Thanks.

886
00:40:25,333 --> 00:40:27,457
Thanks, Dan!

887
00:40:39,000 --> 00:40:41,749
And here are our
crisis counselors here

888
00:40:41,750 --> 00:40:44,624
are ready to take phone calls.

889
00:40:44,625 --> 00:40:46,999
Our research here at The
Trevor Project has found that

890
00:40:47,000 --> 00:40:51,082
if an LGBT young person
has one supportive adult,

891
00:40:51,083 --> 00:40:54,457
the risk of suicide
is lessened by 30 percent.

892
00:40:54,458 --> 00:40:55,999
Wow.
It's incredible.

893
00:40:56,000 --> 00:40:56,999
The Mormons are way over here

894
00:40:57,000 --> 00:40:59,332
and the LGBTQ community
is way over here.

895
00:40:59,333 --> 00:41:00,791
So it's like, to me, I was like,

896
00:41:00,792 --> 00:41:03,416
well, what's a safe way we can
bring everybody together,

897
00:41:03,417 --> 00:41:05,833
but also a place to be
a little more educated?

898
00:41:05,834 --> 00:41:07,582
And for some Mormons,

899
00:41:07,583 --> 00:41:09,874
guarantee this will be
the first time they'll sit down

900
00:41:09,875 --> 00:41:14,916
and listen to someone who is LGBTQ talk
for more than, like, five minutes.

901
00:41:14,917 --> 00:41:18,207
I have these Mormon moms
come in from their temple shift,

902
00:41:18,208 --> 00:41:19,874
and they're very defensive,

903
00:41:19,875 --> 00:41:22,082
until they fall in love
with a gay person.

904
00:41:22,083 --> 00:41:24,666
They could fall in love with
Tyler for just five minutes. Yep.

905
00:41:24,667 --> 00:41:26,082
Then, it's game over.

906
00:41:30,333 --> 00:41:32,582
So, Dragons, Trees...

907
00:41:32,583 --> 00:41:35,666
Dragons, Trees,
interspersed with speakers.

908
00:41:35,667 --> 00:41:37,999
I mean, that alone
is gonna be like...

909
00:41:38,000 --> 00:41:39,290
Rad.
...20,000 people.

910
00:41:39,291 --> 00:41:40,499
Have you thought about where?

911
00:41:40,500 --> 00:41:41,999
I think Pioneer Park.

912
00:41:42,000 --> 00:41:43,374
Isn't it right
next to the temple,

913
00:41:43,375 --> 00:41:44,708
someone was telling me
or something?

914
00:41:44,709 --> 00:41:47,165
Um, it's like
three blocks from it.

915
00:41:47,166 --> 00:41:49,582
Three blocks from the temple?
Ah. Mm-hmm.

916
00:41:49,583 --> 00:41:52,165
Yeah, so they
hold huge events here.

917
00:41:52,166 --> 00:41:54,916
And do they have, like,
food trucks or anything like that?

918
00:41:54,917 --> 00:41:57,249
Yeah, so there's,
like, event vendors...

919
00:41:57,250 --> 00:41:59,249
What do you think the name
of the festival should be?

920
00:41:59,250 --> 00:42:00,958
It needs to be something
that the Mormons are like,

921
00:42:00,959 --> 00:42:02,457
oh, this sounds rad
and I want to come to it,

922
00:42:02,458 --> 00:42:04,958
but it should sound progressive
and cool, and not boring.

923
00:42:04,959 --> 00:42:05,958
LoveLoud.
LoveLoud.

924
00:42:05,959 --> 00:42:07,499
LoveLoud Festival.
Or LoveLouder.

925
00:42:07,500 --> 00:42:08,624
LoveLoud Festival.

926
00:42:08,625 --> 00:42:09,582
LoveLoud Festival.

927
00:42:09,583 --> 00:42:10,833
That's kinda cool.
It is.

928
00:42:10,834 --> 00:42:11,958
LoveLoud Festival.

929
00:42:11,959 --> 00:42:13,624
"Are you going to LoveLoud?"
That's kinda cool.

930
00:42:13,625 --> 00:42:14,874
No, I'm going to LoveLouder.

931
00:42:14,875 --> 00:42:16,582
No, I'm going to LoveLouder.

932
00:42:16,583 --> 00:42:20,165
♪ As I have loved you ♪

933
00:42:20,166 --> 00:42:23,833
♪ Love one another ♪

934
00:42:23,834 --> 00:42:27,499
♪ This new commandment ♪

935
00:42:27,500 --> 00:42:31,290
♪ Love one another ♪

936
00:42:31,291 --> 00:42:35,708
♪ By this shall man know ♪

937
00:42:35,709 --> 00:42:40,040
♪ Ye are my disciples ♪

938
00:42:40,041 --> 00:42:43,290
♪ If ye have loved ♪

939
00:42:43,291 --> 00:42:46,749
♪ One to another ♪

940
00:42:46,750 --> 00:42:48,457
It's actually pretty.
Yeah, it is.

941
00:42:48,458 --> 00:42:51,541
It's a really, it's a...
it's a Mormon...

942
00:42:51,542 --> 00:42:53,124
When you're a young Mormon,

943
00:42:53,125 --> 00:42:55,833
you're in a group
called Primary,

944
00:42:55,834 --> 00:42:57,874
and it's, like,
all the young kids, like,

945
00:42:57,875 --> 00:42:59,082
get together, and they all have

946
00:42:59,083 --> 00:43:02,124
this rambunctious class
where they learn about God.

947
00:43:02,125 --> 00:43:04,165
And you learn, like,
these songs together.

948
00:43:04,166 --> 00:43:05,541
Primary songs, yeah.
Primary songs.

949
00:43:05,542 --> 00:43:07,332
Like children's hymns, basically.
Yeah.

950
00:43:07,333 --> 00:43:10,290
And one of them, first ones you
learn is "Love One Another."

951
00:43:10,291 --> 00:43:12,374
Which is a really rad...
It's actually beautiful.

952
00:43:12,375 --> 00:43:13,457
Yeah. It's a beautiful song,

953
00:43:13,458 --> 00:43:15,249
and the whole point
of it is about

954
00:43:15,250 --> 00:43:17,374
just love one another, and so...

955
00:43:17,375 --> 00:43:21,457
It's interesting
that that gets lost in...

956
00:43:21,458 --> 00:43:24,541
you know, when it's really
just such a simple idea...

957
00:43:24,542 --> 00:43:28,165
Totally... that we're taught
super young in the church.

958
00:43:32,917 --> 00:43:34,499
A lot of Mormons are really

959
00:43:34,500 --> 00:43:37,833
good-hearted, loving,
kind, charitable people,

960
00:43:37,834 --> 00:43:40,833
who want what's right,
and they want to be kind

961
00:43:40,834 --> 00:43:43,624
and loving and tolerant,
but they have leaders

962
00:43:43,625 --> 00:43:45,999
that are telling them what
to think and how to behave.

963
00:43:46,000 --> 00:43:49,249
If children have
a happy family experience,

964
00:43:49,250 --> 00:43:51,207
they will not want
to be homosexuals,

965
00:43:51,208 --> 00:43:53,374
which I am sure is
an acquired addiction,

966
00:43:53,375 --> 00:43:56,040
just as drugs, alcohol,
and pornography are.

967
00:43:56,041 --> 00:44:00,874
Adultery, fornication,
committing homosexual acts,

968
00:44:00,875 --> 00:44:04,040
and other deviations
approaching these in gravity,

969
00:44:04,041 --> 00:44:07,624
are not acceptable
alternate lifestyles.

970
00:44:07,625 --> 00:44:10,290
They are serious sins.

971
00:44:10,291 --> 00:44:15,332
We regard same-sex marriage as
a particularly grievous or, uh,

972
00:44:15,333 --> 00:44:20,874
significant, serious kind of sin
that requires church discipline.

973
00:44:20,875 --> 00:44:24,332
Mormon leaders
claim to talk to God,

974
00:44:24,333 --> 00:44:28,374
so when the church make statements
in the '80s and '90s and 2000s

975
00:44:28,375 --> 00:44:32,666
that to be gay is evil,
that to be in a same-sex,

976
00:44:32,667 --> 00:44:35,416
uh, marriage or committed
relationship is evil,

977
00:44:35,417 --> 00:44:38,082
they're not just saying
that as their own opinion.

978
00:44:38,083 --> 00:44:40,040
They're basically saying
that God speaks

979
00:44:40,041 --> 00:44:43,250
to the leader of our church
and takes that position.

980
00:44:44,500 --> 00:44:46,874
As the church has
seen in the past,

981
00:44:46,875 --> 00:44:48,791
when the church
takes a position,

982
00:44:48,792 --> 00:44:51,374
and then the rest
of the nation changes,

983
00:44:51,375 --> 00:44:54,582
so in the late 1800s,
the church was a polygamous church,

984
00:44:54,583 --> 00:44:56,999
and the rest of the nation
wasn't cool with that,

985
00:44:57,000 --> 00:44:59,082
uh, the church was
almost destroyed,

986
00:44:59,083 --> 00:45:00,374
and so, the church
had to change.

987
00:45:00,375 --> 00:45:03,666
Fast-forward to the 1960s,
the whole United States

988
00:45:03,667 --> 00:45:08,082
is starting to support
African-Americans and civil rights.

989
00:45:08,083 --> 00:45:12,374
And the IDS church is opposing,
um, the civil rights movement

990
00:45:12,375 --> 00:45:15,332
and that almost
destroyed the church.

991
00:45:15,333 --> 00:45:17,749
And so in 1978,
the church changes again.

992
00:45:17,750 --> 00:45:22,332
He has heard our prayers,
and by revelation has confirmed

993
00:45:22,333 --> 00:45:23,666
that the long promised day

994
00:45:23,667 --> 00:45:26,874
has come, when every
faithful, worthy man

995
00:45:26,875 --> 00:45:28,999
in the church may receive
the holy priesthood.

996
00:45:29,000 --> 00:45:31,624
So, just like the church
eventually got rid of polygamy,

997
00:45:31,625 --> 00:45:34,791
the church eventually accepted
blacks into full fellowship.

998
00:45:34,792 --> 00:45:37,290
Accordingly, all worthy
male members of the church

999
00:45:37,291 --> 00:45:39,708
may be ordained to the chur...
To the priesthood

1000
00:45:39,709 --> 00:45:43,290
without regard
for race or color.

1001
00:45:43,291 --> 00:45:44,999
The church
changed, and said, okay,

1002
00:45:45,000 --> 00:45:46,999
now is the time, God has spoken,

1003
00:45:47,000 --> 00:45:48,666
now you can have the priesthood.

1004
00:45:48,667 --> 00:45:51,582
The thing is you're not
going to change God's will,

1005
00:45:51,583 --> 00:45:52,875
is basically what my mom said.

1006
00:45:53,000 --> 00:45:54,165
My mom said to me,
when I told her

1007
00:45:54,166 --> 00:45:55,457
I was doing this,
she was like, well,

1008
00:45:55,458 --> 00:45:57,666
just because you're
a rock star dude,

1009
00:45:57,667 --> 00:45:59,124
you can't change God's will.

1010
00:45:59,125 --> 00:46:00,541
While we are to value

1011
00:46:00,542 --> 00:46:03,958
the rights and feelings
of all of God's children,

1012
00:46:03,959 --> 00:46:08,666
we cannot change his doctrine.
It is not ours to change.

1013
00:46:08,667 --> 00:46:12,499
False prophets and false
teachers are those who

1014
00:46:12,500 --> 00:46:15,249
attempt to change the God-given,

1015
00:46:15,250 --> 00:46:17,290
and scripturally based doctrines

1016
00:46:17,291 --> 00:46:19,541
that protect
the sanctity of marriage.

1017
00:46:19,542 --> 00:46:20,749
Just because you go and pound

1018
00:46:20,750 --> 00:46:22,416
on the brethren's door,
and you're, like,

1019
00:46:22,417 --> 00:46:24,541
Thomas S. Monson, come on,
change this, man.

1020
00:46:24,542 --> 00:46:25,999
Come on, change it!

1021
00:46:26,000 --> 00:46:28,124
He's not gonna change it
for you, 'cause God's...

1022
00:46:28,125 --> 00:46:29,541
He's only doing what
God tells him to do,

1023
00:46:29,542 --> 00:46:31,416
and God's not gonna
change it for you.

1024
00:46:31,417 --> 00:46:34,124
But if all the members of a church
are talking about something,

1025
00:46:34,125 --> 00:46:36,874
then the prophet's gonna
pray about it more, right?

1026
00:46:36,875 --> 00:46:40,416
I think that maybe I'm one part
of this puzzle that's, like,

1027
00:46:40,417 --> 00:46:42,708
you know, coming together,
and hopefully the apostles

1028
00:46:42,709 --> 00:46:44,207
and the prophet
go pray about it,

1029
00:46:44,208 --> 00:46:49,499
and God comes down
and tells them what's up.

1030
00:46:49,500 --> 00:46:52,958
So, um, you know,
there's a glimmer of hope,

1031
00:46:52,959 --> 00:46:55,624
and in the long-term,
I think there's a lot of hope.

1032
00:46:55,625 --> 00:46:57,499
The question is, um,

1033
00:46:57,500 --> 00:46:58,708
how long will it take
to get there,

1034
00:46:58,709 --> 00:47:01,249
and how many people
will be hurt along the way?

1035
00:47:06,041 --> 00:47:08,040
So we have three kids,

1036
00:47:08,041 --> 00:47:11,708
and, um, Stockton is
the youngest of the three.

1037
00:47:11,709 --> 00:47:14,874
And, really, our story
kind of begins

1038
00:47:14,875 --> 00:47:17,874
with him at age 12,

1039
00:47:17,875 --> 00:47:19,916
us finding a letter

1040
00:47:19,917 --> 00:47:24,332
with him saying that
he thought he was gay.

1041
00:47:24,333 --> 00:47:25,624
At earlier times in his life,

1042
00:47:25,625 --> 00:47:28,916
had either of you said,
well, maybe he's gay?

1043
00:47:28,917 --> 00:47:30,708
Or do you think he's gay?
Does he seem...?

1044
00:47:30,709 --> 00:47:32,999
No, we, um... yeah.

1045
00:47:33,000 --> 00:47:35,499
Our, uh, our gaydar
was pretty weak.

1046
00:47:36,667 --> 00:47:38,500
How did you think
that they would react?

1047
00:47:40,166 --> 00:47:41,457
Um...

1048
00:47:41,458 --> 00:47:43,833
I thought they'd react
kind of badly

1049
00:47:43,834 --> 00:47:46,332
'cause, I mean, they're Mormon.

1050
00:47:46,333 --> 00:47:49,582
Not all Mormons
react kindly to that.

1051
00:47:49,583 --> 00:47:51,416
Um...
I don't know.

1052
00:47:51,417 --> 00:47:54,332
I didn't really think they were
gonna kick me out of the house.

1053
00:47:54,333 --> 00:47:57,166
I didn't think they were gonna
be, "Oh yeah, you're gay. Cool."

1054
00:47:58,458 --> 00:48:01,125
I'll just kind of...
hide it.

1055
00:48:02,917 --> 00:48:04,290
Yeah.

1056
00:48:04,291 --> 00:48:06,833
You know, when we said, well,
let's just kinda ride this out,

1057
00:48:06,834 --> 00:48:09,040
that wasn't his MO.
His MO was,

1058
00:48:09,041 --> 00:48:11,916
Yeah, I think I'm gonna announce
it at school tomorrow-type thing.

1059
00:48:11,917 --> 00:48:12,999
So...
Yeah.

1060
00:48:13,000 --> 00:48:15,290
He had his own bullhorn.
Yeah. He...

1061
00:48:15,291 --> 00:48:18,457
You know, he
was pretty proud and out.

1062
00:48:18,458 --> 00:48:20,082
I remember, um, I gave him...

1063
00:48:20,083 --> 00:48:23,582
this, a pink, neon pink T-shirt

1064
00:48:23,583 --> 00:48:25,124
that said, "Queer New World."

1065
00:48:25,125 --> 00:48:28,374
And he was so excited
by this neon pink shirt

1066
00:48:28,375 --> 00:48:31,874
because it was gonna scandalize
everyone in his school.

1067
00:48:31,875 --> 00:48:33,040
You know, he just thought,

1068
00:48:33,041 --> 00:48:34,959
Well, this is me.
What's the problem?

1069
00:48:35,917 --> 00:48:37,624
And, unfortunately,

1070
00:48:37,625 --> 00:48:39,541
not everybody
was ready for that.

1071
00:48:39,542 --> 00:48:43,207
When I was kind of internally
realizing that I was gay,

1072
00:48:43,208 --> 00:48:44,624
I got handed a pamphlet.

1073
00:48:44,625 --> 00:48:46,791
"For the Strength of Youth,"

1074
00:48:46,792 --> 00:48:49,708
and it said, homosexuality
is a serious sin,

1075
00:48:49,709 --> 00:48:53,082
and I got very angry
about that and...

1076
00:48:53,083 --> 00:48:57,332
um, it kind of just spiraled
downward from there.

1077
00:49:04,917 --> 00:49:08,124
So, did you feel that,
even when he cut ties,

1078
00:49:08,125 --> 00:49:11,332
he probably still felt the sting...
yeah. He was angry. Oh yeah.

1079
00:49:11,333 --> 00:49:13,082
He was angry.

1080
00:49:13,083 --> 00:49:15,165
And he just didn't feel safe...
Yeah.

1081
00:49:15,166 --> 00:49:18,165
...in a place that he
should've felt the safest.

1082
00:49:18,166 --> 00:49:20,624
♪ Words fall through me ♪

1083
00:49:20,625 --> 00:49:23,374
♪ And always fool me ♪

1084
00:49:23,375 --> 00:49:25,207
The rest of society around him

1085
00:49:25,208 --> 00:49:27,999
from church, to school,
to government,

1086
00:49:28,000 --> 00:49:33,040
kept sending a message to
Stockton that he was less than.

1087
00:49:33,041 --> 00:49:35,332
You know,
often kids would say to him,

1088
00:49:35,333 --> 00:49:36,708
I can associate with you,

1089
00:49:36,709 --> 00:49:39,791
but if my parents find out,
then I can't.

1090
00:49:39,792 --> 00:49:43,749
It was always,
you know, this constant,

1091
00:49:43,750 --> 00:49:46,374
"I like you, but..."
or "I love you, but..."

1092
00:49:46,375 --> 00:49:49,457
♪ Take this sinking boat ♪

1093
00:49:49,458 --> 00:49:52,624
♪ And point it home ♪

1094
00:49:52,625 --> 00:49:57,250
♪ We've still got time ♪

1095
00:49:58,208 --> 00:50:00,999
I could sense, you know,
his frustrations,

1096
00:50:01,000 --> 00:50:04,207
and his anger, and his fears.

1097
00:50:04,208 --> 00:50:06,834
He would say to me often,
he'd say...

1098
00:50:09,208 --> 00:50:12,624
"What's so wrong with me
that I just can't have friends?"

1099
00:50:26,542 --> 00:50:29,416
I really didn't see it coming.

1100
00:50:29,417 --> 00:50:32,458
We were in Saint George,
and just, um...

1101
00:50:34,000 --> 00:50:36,833
got a call...

1102
00:50:36,834 --> 00:50:39,207
that he...

1103
00:50:39,208 --> 00:50:42,124
was gone.

1104
00:50:46,625 --> 00:50:47,667
And...

1105
00:50:49,166 --> 00:50:51,249
Why didn't he call me?

1106
00:50:51,250 --> 00:50:53,332
Because I would
have done anything.

1107
00:50:55,166 --> 00:50:57,791
That's what breaks my heart
is that he felt

1108
00:50:57,792 --> 00:51:00,082
that much despair,
and that he...

1109
00:51:00,083 --> 00:51:02,125
Well, that he was alone.
...felt that alone.

1110
00:51:03,750 --> 00:51:05,207
He like all of us...

1111
00:51:05,208 --> 00:51:06,958
We're looking for the community.

1112
00:51:06,959 --> 00:51:08,833
Right.
Your tribe.

1113
00:51:08,834 --> 00:51:11,833
And so, he was looking for
his community and his tribe,

1114
00:51:11,834 --> 00:51:14,082
and, so he...

1115
00:51:14,083 --> 00:51:15,541
Yeah, it was, it was hard.

1116
00:51:15,542 --> 00:51:19,082
'Cause the community that
should've been so loving

1117
00:51:19,083 --> 00:51:22,165
and accepting of him
and appreciative of his...

1118
00:51:22,166 --> 00:51:23,999
Of who he is just...

1119
00:51:24,000 --> 00:51:25,457
I mean, I think
a lot of these kids

1120
00:51:25,458 --> 00:51:27,624
really did love him
and accept him,

1121
00:51:27,625 --> 00:51:31,374
but they were at war
with their dynamic.

1122
00:51:31,375 --> 00:51:34,416
They're being taught at church what
they're gonna be taught at home.

1123
00:51:34,417 --> 00:51:35,749
Right. Yeah.

1124
00:51:35,750 --> 00:51:38,165
We need more voices.

1125
00:51:38,166 --> 00:51:40,417
It's just, we need more voices.

1126
00:51:46,083 --> 00:51:47,624
And he deserves it.

1127
00:52:08,542 --> 00:52:11,040
My heart is full tonight...

1128
00:52:14,250 --> 00:52:15,791
...for so many reasons...

1129
00:52:15,792 --> 00:52:18,207
I think amidst all of this,
a lot of people would wonder

1130
00:52:18,208 --> 00:52:20,541
why I even associate
with Mormonism,

1131
00:52:20,542 --> 00:52:22,624
if, you know,
it's causing this much harm.

1132
00:52:22,625 --> 00:52:24,791
Why not just walk away
and be done?

1133
00:52:24,792 --> 00:52:28,416
We've lost our loved ones.
We've lost them to suicide.

1134
00:52:28,417 --> 00:52:33,499
I'm not gonna just walk away,
and let the house on fire burn.

1135
00:52:33,500 --> 00:52:37,332
I'd rather do all that I can
with this lucky spot

1136
00:52:37,333 --> 00:52:41,541
that I've been put in
to hopefully put out a fire.

1137
00:52:41,542 --> 00:52:43,999
♪ It's time to begin ♪

1138
00:52:44,000 --> 00:52:45,624
♪ Isn't it? ♪

1139
00:52:45,625 --> 00:52:49,624
♪ I get a
little bit bigger ♪

1140
00:52:49,625 --> 00:52:52,249
♪ But then I'll admit ♪

1141
00:52:52,250 --> 00:52:57,250
♪ I'm just the same as I was ♪

1142
00:52:58,959 --> 00:53:04,792
♪ Now don't you understand ♪

1143
00:53:07,667 --> 00:53:12,874
♪ That I'm never
changing who I am ♪

1144
00:53:16,458 --> 00:53:19,124
I have these tools of,
like, you know, hey,

1145
00:53:19,125 --> 00:53:21,666
if I wanna put on a festival,
we're gonna put on a festival,

1146
00:53:21,667 --> 00:53:23,207
and at least some people
are gonna come out

1147
00:53:23,208 --> 00:53:24,582
because Imagine Dragons
is playing.

1148
00:53:24,583 --> 00:53:26,749
We can get this press,
and we can get this interview

1149
00:53:26,750 --> 00:53:28,416
because of Imagine Dragons.

1150
00:53:28,417 --> 00:53:31,749
Dan, welcome to
the show. How are you doing today?

1151
00:53:31,750 --> 00:53:33,332
I'm doing great. Um...

1152
00:53:33,333 --> 00:53:35,040
I don't know
if you can hear my baby

1153
00:53:35,041 --> 00:53:36,791
screaming in the background.

1154
00:53:36,792 --> 00:53:39,332
We're doing this documentary.
I'm also putting on a festival,

1155
00:53:39,333 --> 00:53:41,958
in Utah, August 26th,
called LoveLoud.

1156
00:53:41,959 --> 00:53:44,374
There's gonna be parents who are
gonna get up and speak who've,

1157
00:53:44,375 --> 00:53:46,207
who've lost their child
to suicide.

1158
00:53:46,208 --> 00:53:49,624
LoveLoud was this
ginormous beast, suddenly.

1159
00:53:49,625 --> 00:53:51,374
I was like okay,
I'm gonna hire an assistant.

1160
00:53:51,375 --> 00:53:54,082
I don't think he had any idea
what he was signing up for.

1161
00:53:54,083 --> 00:53:57,249
Uh, music festivals usually
take at least a year.

1162
00:53:57,250 --> 00:53:59,290
And we're trying to pull
this off in a few months.

1163
00:53:59,291 --> 00:54:03,124
We're gonna, hopefully,
create enough rumblings

1164
00:54:03,125 --> 00:54:05,332
that it's gets a ton
of press coverage

1165
00:54:05,333 --> 00:54:07,290
and that people
start to understand

1166
00:54:07,291 --> 00:54:11,708
that telling your child
that it's sinful to be gay

1167
00:54:11,709 --> 00:54:13,541
can be so destructive.

1168
00:54:13,542 --> 00:54:18,165
Are you worried about fans being,
maybe, turned off by activism?

1169
00:54:18,166 --> 00:54:20,499
You know. "Come on, Dan.
Just play your music." Sure.

1170
00:54:20,500 --> 00:54:23,040
I have to pay attention
to my heart

1171
00:54:23,041 --> 00:54:25,040
and speak the things
that are in my heart.

1172
00:54:25,041 --> 00:54:27,082
I felt that by not speaking out,

1173
00:54:27,083 --> 00:54:30,207
I was doing a big disservice
to my community.

1174
00:54:30,208 --> 00:54:32,708
My goal is to change
this in the church,

1175
00:54:32,709 --> 00:54:34,624
and not to say that
I can change the church,

1176
00:54:34,625 --> 00:54:38,666
but at least to bring together
a ton of people who are Mormon

1177
00:54:38,667 --> 00:54:41,582
who have said, you know,
we've had enough with this.

1178
00:54:41,583 --> 00:54:44,165
♪ And I'm never
changing who I am ♪

1179
00:55:14,875 --> 00:55:17,290
I first met Dan in 2006,

1180
00:55:17,291 --> 00:55:19,290
when I was a shy,
closeted singer

1181
00:55:19,291 --> 00:55:23,249
in a local band in Provo, Utah,
called Neon Trees.

1182
00:55:26,000 --> 00:55:29,207
Dan, it's unbelievably exciting
to see you use your platform

1183
00:55:29,208 --> 00:55:31,207
to spread the love
you have in your heart.

1184
00:55:31,208 --> 00:55:34,541
That is the heroic move.

1185
00:55:34,542 --> 00:55:38,332
We have a special message
for you from one of our fans.

1186
00:55:38,333 --> 00:55:40,749
Hi Dan. My name's Miranda.

1187
00:55:40,750 --> 00:55:43,374
I am 16, and I am bisexual,

1188
00:55:43,375 --> 00:55:45,999
but before anything else,
I wanna say congratulations!

1189
00:55:46,000 --> 00:55:47,624
What you're doing
makes a difference.

1190
00:55:47,625 --> 00:55:50,666
What you're doing means
so much to people like me,

1191
00:55:50,667 --> 00:55:53,582
and I cannot thank you
enough for it.

1192
00:55:55,000 --> 00:55:57,457
The Trevor
Project is proud to honor

1193
00:55:57,458 --> 00:55:59,165
my dear friend, Dan Reynolds,

1194
00:55:59,166 --> 00:56:00,791
with the Trevor Hero Award.

1195
00:56:00,792 --> 00:56:02,666
Please join me
in a round of applause.

1196
00:56:15,792 --> 00:56:17,583
Good luck.
All right. All right.

1197
00:56:18,917 --> 00:56:20,749
Uh...

1198
00:56:20,750 --> 00:56:24,541
I loved a lot of my mission.
I did a ton of service work.

1199
00:56:24,542 --> 00:56:27,457
I lost myself.
I became nothing.

1200
00:56:27,458 --> 00:56:29,999
You're the geeky,
stupid-looking dude,

1201
00:56:30,000 --> 00:56:32,207
with the name badge and it's...

1202
00:56:32,208 --> 00:56:34,457
and you get Slurpees
thrown at you, and it's,

1203
00:56:34,458 --> 00:56:36,791
it's humbling. It's humbling,
and it was, it was good for me.

1204
00:56:36,792 --> 00:56:40,290
But I want to... I'm sure you're wondering,
where is he going with all this?

1205
00:56:40,291 --> 00:56:42,332
And this is, this is
where I'm going with it.

1206
00:56:42,333 --> 00:56:44,124
For those two years,

1207
00:56:44,125 --> 00:56:47,749
when people asked me
what the doctrine was,

1208
00:56:47,750 --> 00:56:52,290
and they said, "Hey, I am gay,
or I feel, you know,

1209
00:56:52,291 --> 00:56:55,082
"like I'd feel like,
I like girls,

1210
00:56:55,083 --> 00:56:56,290
and what do I do about this?"

1211
00:56:56,291 --> 00:56:58,958
I taught that it was a sin

1212
00:56:58,959 --> 00:57:03,124
because that's what
I had been raised to teach.

1213
00:57:03,125 --> 00:57:06,124
I never felt it in my heart
since I was young.

1214
00:57:06,125 --> 00:57:08,040
I hold regret
about that to this day.

1215
00:57:08,041 --> 00:57:09,791
I wish I could
knock all those doors.

1216
00:57:09,792 --> 00:57:14,040
I wish I could re-knock them,
and tell them that I was wrong.

1217
00:57:14,041 --> 00:57:15,290
I can't do that.

1218
00:57:15,291 --> 00:57:17,749
All I can do is come forward
to you today and tell you,

1219
00:57:17,750 --> 00:57:21,124
I sincerely am sorry.
I, really, in my heart...

1220
00:57:26,583 --> 00:57:28,541
Thank you for this.
This is such a great honor.

1221
00:57:28,542 --> 00:57:31,708
Thank you, thank you, thank you.

1222
00:57:31,709 --> 00:57:35,833
And I know... I know it's been
said, but love is love.

1223
00:57:35,834 --> 00:57:38,499
Love is love.
Thank you so much.

1224
00:57:40,667 --> 00:57:43,749
We're less than two months
out from the LoveLoud Festival,

1225
00:57:43,750 --> 00:57:47,457
which is super intimidating
and scary for a million reasons

1226
00:57:47,458 --> 00:57:50,874
because it feels like we're still
just getting stuff together.

1227
00:57:50,875 --> 00:57:52,541
And just say,
"Take one." Take one.

1228
00:57:52,542 --> 00:57:54,916
I'm here to make
a very special announcement.

1229
00:57:54,917 --> 00:57:58,165
On August 26th,
in the Provo area,

1230
00:57:58,166 --> 00:58:01,290
we're gonna be putting on
a concert called LoveLoud...

1231
00:58:01,291 --> 00:58:05,290
So with LoveLoud, we knew
it was important to be in Utah.

1232
00:58:05,291 --> 00:58:08,749
And I don't want to say
that people were intentionally

1233
00:58:08,750 --> 00:58:10,457
trying to curb this event.

1234
00:58:10,458 --> 00:58:12,541
We can give them
a sponsorship, like a...

1235
00:58:12,542 --> 00:58:13,999
But when we started realizing

1236
00:58:14,000 --> 00:58:16,457
it was a lot of people being
afraid to touch this issue.

1237
00:58:16,458 --> 00:58:19,916
I thought we were
gonna have a massive park.

1238
00:58:19,917 --> 00:58:22,124
We're gonna show that
the whole state of Utah

1239
00:58:22,125 --> 00:58:23,624
actually believes in this.

1240
00:58:23,625 --> 00:58:28,959
The reality hitting me is
that not all of Utah wants this.

1241
00:58:30,083 --> 00:58:31,666
I had tons of people
who were like,

1242
00:58:31,667 --> 00:58:34,666
you shouldn't talk about
how we have, like,

1243
00:58:34,667 --> 00:58:36,374
any issues with suicide.

1244
00:58:36,375 --> 00:58:38,290
Let's not talk about that.

1245
00:58:38,291 --> 00:58:41,499
I'm a little nervous to even click on the
comments section, to be honest with you here.

1246
00:58:41,500 --> 00:58:44,791
"I know many LGBTQ-XYZ people,

1247
00:58:44,792 --> 00:58:47,416
"and while I treat them like
any other person I know,

1248
00:58:47,417 --> 00:58:50,249
I don't agree with their choices
to live that lifestyle."

1249
00:58:50,250 --> 00:58:52,666
People might laugh
because they might say, like,

1250
00:58:52,667 --> 00:58:57,332
why is this straight white guy
the poster child for this now?

1251
00:58:57,333 --> 00:58:59,874
I don't know.
People love to hate, you know?

1252
00:58:59,875 --> 00:59:01,541
So, we'll see what happens.

1253
00:59:01,542 --> 00:59:06,332
"Ditch Your Imagine Dragons Music
because Dan Reynolds Embraced the Poz."

1254
00:59:06,333 --> 00:59:07,624
P-O-Z.

1255
00:59:07,625 --> 00:59:10,624
So I had no idea what that was,
so I googled it.

1256
00:59:10,625 --> 00:59:13,958
"Gay slang, willing to have sex
with someone who is HIV positive

1257
00:59:13,959 --> 00:59:15,375
by someone who is not."

1258
00:59:16,542 --> 00:59:18,082
You start to feel,

1259
00:59:18,083 --> 00:59:22,999
upset that it's, like,
so blatantly obvious.

1260
00:59:23,000 --> 00:59:24,749
Like, look how obvious this is!

1261
00:59:24,750 --> 00:59:27,332
Like, of course we have to love
and accept everybody.

1262
00:59:27,333 --> 00:59:28,791
Come on, guys!

1263
00:59:28,792 --> 00:59:33,082
It's a terrible challenge
to go into this intersection

1264
00:59:33,083 --> 00:59:38,332
of LGBT individuals
and communities of faith,

1265
00:59:38,333 --> 00:59:41,416
which requires sensitivity
on both sides,

1266
00:59:41,417 --> 00:59:42,958
and a lot of nuance,

1267
00:59:42,959 --> 00:59:46,290
and that is not
an easy spot to be

1268
00:59:46,291 --> 00:59:47,999
when you're someone like Dan.

1269
00:59:48,000 --> 00:59:51,374
You know, I just did
an interview with Billboard,

1270
00:59:51,375 --> 00:59:54,791
and my family saw it, and
that's been a little difficult.

1271
00:59:54,792 --> 00:59:57,499
Feeling like the family thinks
that I'm doing something wrong,

1272
00:59:57,500 --> 00:59:59,833
or I'm, like, making them
look like bigots or something.

1273
00:59:59,834 --> 01:00:03,249
That's, that's been, probably,
the hardest thing for me.

1274
01:00:03,250 --> 01:00:07,290
The risk is that in going
to this vulnerable intersection,

1275
01:00:07,291 --> 01:00:09,499
of not just,
I wanna help LGBT individuals

1276
01:00:09,500 --> 01:00:11,332
have more peace and love
and acceptance in their lives,

1277
01:00:11,333 --> 01:00:14,249
but I'm gonna have
an event in Provo, Utah,

1278
01:00:14,250 --> 01:00:17,290
and I'm going to talk
about Mormon doctrine.

1279
01:00:17,291 --> 01:00:20,249
Will you express it in
a way that sounds like

1280
01:00:20,250 --> 01:00:23,249
kicking somebody when they're
down or throwing a stone?

1281
01:00:23,250 --> 01:00:25,708
Or will it come across
as someone that's

1282
01:00:25,709 --> 01:00:28,457
putting his arms around his
fellow brothers and sisters,

1283
01:00:28,458 --> 01:00:31,499
and saying, hey,
let's do better.

1284
01:00:31,500 --> 01:00:33,791
It makes the family nervous.

1285
01:00:33,792 --> 01:00:36,290
But I love Dan and know
he wants to do good.

1286
01:00:36,291 --> 01:00:39,374
I know he's trying to be good,
and I know he means well.

1287
01:01:18,250 --> 01:01:20,374
♪ If I were you ♪

1288
01:01:20,375 --> 01:01:21,791
♪ I'd run away ♪

1289
01:01:21,792 --> 01:01:26,332
♪ Closing your eyes
and count to 10 ♪

1290
01:01:26,333 --> 01:01:28,374
♪ Bird in the sky ♪

1291
01:01:28,375 --> 01:01:30,249
♪ Peace in your mind ♪

1292
01:01:30,250 --> 01:01:31,874
There was a week in particular

1293
01:01:31,875 --> 01:01:36,249
where everything with LoveLoud
was basically falling apart.

1294
01:01:36,250 --> 01:01:39,916
Why is it so much more difficult
than I thought it would be?

1295
01:01:39,917 --> 01:01:43,916
Like, you just say, "Hey, let's all meet
in this park, this day and do something."

1296
01:01:43,917 --> 01:01:45,791
As of yesterday, our whole team

1297
01:01:45,792 --> 01:01:48,082
that we have together
was kinda feeling like,

1298
01:01:48,083 --> 01:01:50,499
we needed to cancel the event.

1299
01:01:58,875 --> 01:02:02,666
Utah was just making it
too impossible to put it on.

1300
01:02:02,667 --> 01:02:04,749
♪ If I was me ♪

1301
01:02:04,750 --> 01:02:06,666
♪ Weight on my back ♪

1302
01:02:06,667 --> 01:02:10,749
♪ Feeling the sun upon my eyes ♪

1303
01:02:10,750 --> 01:02:12,833
♪ Where would I turn? ♪

1304
01:02:12,834 --> 01:02:14,666
♪ What would I burn? ♪

1305
01:02:14,667 --> 01:02:18,791
♪ I am a pawn within your hand ♪

1306
01:02:18,792 --> 01:02:21,500
♪ So many voices ♪

1307
01:02:39,417 --> 01:02:42,833
♪ Carving my blood
into the stone ♪

1308
01:02:42,834 --> 01:02:44,999
♪ What do I do? ♪

1309
01:02:45,000 --> 01:02:46,874
♪ Where do I turn? ♪

1310
01:02:46,875 --> 01:02:50,749
♪ Even my screams
cease to be heard ♪

1311
01:02:50,750 --> 01:02:51,958
Bye, everybody. Bye.

1312
01:02:51,959 --> 01:02:54,416
Thanks, everyone.
Bye. Okay.

1313
01:02:54,417 --> 01:02:55,791
All right.
Thank you.

1314
01:02:56,792 --> 01:02:58,999
♪ To be alone ♪

1315
01:02:59,000 --> 01:03:02,458
♪ So many choices ♪

1316
01:03:06,834 --> 01:03:09,791
I was on a, a phone call

1317
01:03:09,792 --> 01:03:12,541
with, um,
one of my fund-raisers,

1318
01:03:12,542 --> 01:03:14,833
just going over
a bunch of details,

1319
01:03:14,834 --> 01:03:17,583
and my phone, uh,
my phone kept ringing.

1320
01:03:18,458 --> 01:03:20,290
I looked down,
and it was my mom.

1321
01:03:20,291 --> 01:03:22,499
I was like, ah, Mom.

1322
01:03:22,500 --> 01:03:26,332
Then she called again,
and then she called a third time.

1323
01:03:26,333 --> 01:03:30,040
And at that point, I realized,
I need to talk to my mom.

1324
01:03:30,041 --> 01:03:31,999
And, uh...

1325
01:03:32,000 --> 01:03:33,624
So I just said, hey,
I need to end this call.

1326
01:03:33,625 --> 01:03:35,666
I need to call my mom.

1327
01:03:35,667 --> 01:03:38,083
And I called my mom, and, um...

1328
01:03:39,667 --> 01:03:42,082
she was hysterical.

1329
01:03:49,000 --> 01:03:50,874
She told me my brother, Landon,

1330
01:03:50,875 --> 01:03:52,999
had just hung himself...

1331
01:03:57,709 --> 01:04:00,791
...in Provo.

1332
01:04:05,417 --> 01:04:06,958
♪ In praise of you ♪

1333
01:04:06,959 --> 01:04:08,374
♪ Our faith is strong ♪

1334
01:04:08,375 --> 01:04:10,958
♪ We'll raise our colors
high in the blue ♪

1335
01:04:10,959 --> 01:04:13,749
♪ And cheer our Cougars of BYU ♪

1336
01:04:13,750 --> 01:04:15,708
♪ Oh, rah, rah, rah-rah-rah ♪

1337
01:04:15,709 --> 01:04:19,457
So Landon was
attending BYU, the...

1338
01:04:19,458 --> 01:04:21,332
IDS church's university.

1339
01:04:21,333 --> 01:04:24,874
He also had a, uh,
really cool girlfriend,

1340
01:04:24,875 --> 01:04:28,499
and he'd kinda
blossomed down there.

1341
01:04:28,500 --> 01:04:31,290
And then he and his girlfriend,
they had sex,

1342
01:04:31,291 --> 01:04:33,332
which is against the honor code.

1343
01:04:33,333 --> 01:04:35,958
Landon was honest
with the university

1344
01:04:35,959 --> 01:04:38,750
and explained what had
happened, and told them.

1345
01:04:40,000 --> 01:04:42,082
And they said...

1346
01:04:43,709 --> 01:04:46,624
...you're kicked out
for five years, and...

1347
01:04:46,625 --> 01:04:49,582
you can't associate
with any of your professors.

1348
01:04:49,583 --> 01:04:50,792
You're done.

1349
01:04:52,458 --> 01:04:55,582
It started to put him into a
downward spiral of depression

1350
01:04:55,583 --> 01:04:59,749
and emotional wound after emotional
wound, it was... it was hard for him.

1351
01:04:59,750 --> 01:05:02,749
Even though in the eyes of his,

1352
01:05:02,750 --> 01:05:04,999
his God, he was clean.

1353
01:05:05,000 --> 01:05:06,457
In the culture there, he wasn't.

1354
01:05:06,458 --> 01:05:08,124
He was just a sinner.

1355
01:05:08,125 --> 01:05:11,457
And, uh, that's how a lot of
people looked at him.

1356
01:05:11,458 --> 01:05:13,833
As less than.

1357
01:05:13,834 --> 01:05:16,249
He just felt worthless.

1358
01:05:19,959 --> 01:05:21,416
So it was really hard,
because...

1359
01:05:25,333 --> 01:05:26,999
...night after night,
day after day,

1360
01:05:27,000 --> 01:05:30,290
I'm spending all my time
trying to bring this...

1361
01:05:30,291 --> 01:05:31,999
trying to bring
this festival to life,

1362
01:05:32,000 --> 01:05:36,333
to save lives and to help
people not feel alone.

1363
01:05:49,458 --> 01:05:51,833
It breaks my heart knowing
that Landon got to a point

1364
01:05:51,834 --> 01:05:54,332
where he believed
that the only way his soul

1365
01:05:54,333 --> 01:05:57,249
could go on was for it
to leave his body.

1366
01:05:58,583 --> 01:06:01,332
And the harsh reality is that,

1367
01:06:01,333 --> 01:06:04,207
I mean, here in Utah,
the leading cause of death

1368
01:06:04,208 --> 01:06:06,791
for teenagers is suicide.

1369
01:06:09,959 --> 01:06:14,499
I think we all can agree that we
need to find a solution to this.

1370
01:06:14,500 --> 01:06:17,708
And it's gonna take every
single one of us in this room

1371
01:06:17,709 --> 01:06:19,500
to make a difference.

1372
01:06:21,000 --> 01:06:23,417
I believe, and I know, that...

1373
01:06:26,458 --> 01:06:28,249
Mormons are good people.

1374
01:06:28,250 --> 01:06:30,666
That...

1375
01:06:30,667 --> 01:06:32,791
we have sincere hearts.

1376
01:06:32,792 --> 01:06:34,792
That we're no, no less...

1377
01:06:36,250 --> 01:06:38,791
broken than any other society.

1378
01:06:38,792 --> 01:06:39,792
Um...

1379
01:06:41,375 --> 01:06:43,958
But the way that our culture
is failing right now

1380
01:06:43,959 --> 01:06:46,249
is in a very unique way,

1381
01:06:46,250 --> 01:06:48,582
and in a deadly way.

1382
01:06:51,500 --> 01:06:57,457
The shaming that happens in
this culture needs to end.

1383
01:06:57,458 --> 01:06:58,749
I believe in a higher power,

1384
01:06:58,750 --> 01:07:01,124
and I believe in
goodness and love,

1385
01:07:01,125 --> 01:07:03,082
and I know we can do this.

1386
01:07:03,083 --> 01:07:06,999
This isn't some
insurmountable task.

1387
01:07:07,000 --> 01:07:10,916
It's feasible
because I believe in us.

1388
01:07:17,000 --> 01:07:18,582
I had to respond to him,
and I said,

1389
01:07:18,583 --> 01:07:22,874
Lance, I'm so sorry that your
brother just committed suicide.

1390
01:07:22,875 --> 01:07:24,582
You don't have
to do this anymore.

1391
01:07:24,583 --> 01:07:27,124
You know? You don't have
to be on these calls. Please.

1392
01:07:27,125 --> 01:07:30,124
Like, go take off time
with your family.

1393
01:07:30,125 --> 01:07:32,709
Like, you could, like,
I'll do LoveLoud.

1394
01:07:34,667 --> 01:07:37,457
And he... he just refuses.

1395
01:07:37,458 --> 01:07:39,333
He texted me and he says,

1396
01:07:41,083 --> 01:07:43,958
"I'm gonna be with my family
for a few days,

1397
01:07:43,959 --> 01:07:47,541
"but will still be working on
everything and want you to know

1398
01:07:47,542 --> 01:07:48,916
"we will make it happen.

1399
01:07:48,917 --> 01:07:51,916
"No one deserves to feel the way
my mother does right now,

1400
01:07:51,917 --> 01:07:53,916
"and I'm going to work
my hardest to ensure

1401
01:07:53,917 --> 01:07:56,249
"that this suicide
epidemic ends, man.

1402
01:07:56,250 --> 01:07:58,332
"This is so wrong
and has to stop.

1403
01:07:58,333 --> 01:08:00,624
"I know you're stressing
about this festival,

1404
01:08:00,625 --> 01:08:03,290
"but I assure you,
we're going to pull this off.

1405
01:08:03,291 --> 01:08:05,249
"There are too many
things going right.

1406
01:08:05,250 --> 01:08:06,624
"LoveLoud is going to happen

1407
01:08:06,625 --> 01:08:09,249
and it's going to
change the world."

1408
01:08:09,250 --> 01:08:11,666
He just said,
we're going to do this, Dan.

1409
01:08:11,667 --> 01:08:13,582
We can do this.

1410
01:08:13,583 --> 01:08:15,958
I have an idea.
Let's do it grassroots.

1411
01:08:15,959 --> 01:08:18,457
We don't need to get
a bunch of money.

1412
01:08:18,458 --> 01:08:19,999
We don't need to dumb it down

1413
01:08:20,000 --> 01:08:23,457
or clean it up or make it
more vanilla to get sponsors.

1414
01:08:23,458 --> 01:08:24,999
You know, you told me
on the phone that

1415
01:08:25,000 --> 01:08:26,332
if we didn't get the money,

1416
01:08:26,333 --> 01:08:29,499
we'd go stand in a park on...

1417
01:08:29,500 --> 01:08:33,332
...on a soapbox,
and just scream to the world

1418
01:08:33,333 --> 01:08:35,124
that things needed
to change in Utah.

1419
01:08:35,125 --> 01:08:39,082
We want it to be a safe space for
everybody to come out and be able to...

1420
01:08:39,083 --> 01:08:42,666
feel the love and acceptance
together for LGBTQ youth,

1421
01:08:42,667 --> 01:08:47,416
and we want them to hear it with
resounding cries from all across Utah.

1422
01:08:47,417 --> 01:08:50,290
We went from the
event not happening,

1423
01:08:50,291 --> 01:08:54,749
to me begging people
to take it on.

1424
01:08:54,750 --> 01:08:56,124
We have the chance
to do something

1425
01:08:56,125 --> 01:08:58,040
that's really
powerful and great,

1426
01:08:58,041 --> 01:08:59,416
but, um,

1427
01:08:59,417 --> 01:09:02,124
it has been, doing it
in Utah has been difficult.

1428
01:09:02,125 --> 01:09:05,374
Finally, we got somebody
who said okay, we can do it,

1429
01:09:05,375 --> 01:09:06,999
if we do it in this ballpark,

1430
01:09:07,000 --> 01:09:09,249
and we're gonna have
to set it up the morning of,

1431
01:09:09,250 --> 01:09:11,082
so we need a small stage
you can roll in.

1432
01:09:11,083 --> 01:09:13,999
A mutual love of music
is a great way to foster love,

1433
01:09:14,000 --> 01:09:16,999
understanding and acceptance.
That's how our next guest

1434
01:09:17,000 --> 01:09:20,165
wants to support
the LGBTQ community...

1435
01:09:20,166 --> 01:09:24,374
It's basically come together
in such a crazy, last minute way,

1436
01:09:24,375 --> 01:09:27,500
that every single person told
me that I was stupid doing it.

1437
01:09:56,375 --> 01:09:59,249
Yeah, I guess I've
never thought about

1438
01:09:59,250 --> 01:10:01,082
how big the church
is versus the band,

1439
01:10:01,083 --> 01:10:02,708
how influential the church
is versus the band.

1440
01:10:02,709 --> 01:10:05,624
I guess if I really stand back
and look at it, it's like,

1441
01:10:05,625 --> 01:10:08,290
the band reaches millions,
millions,

1442
01:10:08,291 --> 01:10:11,916
and we put out a video and
it's like 500 million views.

1443
01:10:11,917 --> 01:10:16,040
Good morning, America!

1444
01:10:18,417 --> 01:10:21,374
We have a show in November,

1445
01:10:21,375 --> 01:10:24,374
in Salt Lake City
that's sold out,

1446
01:10:24,375 --> 01:10:25,624
and it sold out super fast,

1447
01:10:25,625 --> 01:10:28,791
and it's 20,000 people plus.

1448
01:10:28,792 --> 01:10:31,416
We figured, oh,
when we do this LoveLoud,

1449
01:10:31,417 --> 01:10:32,624
it's just gonna sell out.

1450
01:10:32,625 --> 01:10:35,499
And so, when we put up
the tickets, it's just nowhere

1451
01:10:35,500 --> 01:10:39,124
near selling as fast as
an Imagine Dragons show sells.

1452
01:10:39,125 --> 01:10:42,249
I mean, that tells you
everything you need to know.

1453
01:10:42,250 --> 01:10:45,791
In order for Mormons
to feel safe to come to this,

1454
01:10:45,792 --> 01:10:51,124
the truth is Mormons will
feel safe about something

1455
01:10:51,125 --> 01:10:53,625
when the prophet says
to feel safe about something.

1456
01:10:55,041 --> 01:10:57,416
We know that there
are conversations going on

1457
01:10:57,417 --> 01:11:00,749
in the, the hierarchy
of the church.

1458
01:11:00,750 --> 01:11:02,708
I don't know fully
what they look like.

1459
01:11:02,709 --> 01:11:05,666
I hope that the church is
able to make a statement,

1460
01:11:05,667 --> 01:11:07,249
and to let people know

1461
01:11:07,250 --> 01:11:10,833
that these conversations
are okay to have.

1462
01:11:10,834 --> 01:11:12,250
If the prophet said,

1463
01:11:13,166 --> 01:11:17,082
"Hey, LoveLoud is cool,"

1464
01:11:17,083 --> 01:11:21,791
then that would be incredible,
and that would shift,

1465
01:11:21,792 --> 01:11:25,541
that would be, like, everything
I could ever hope for.

1466
01:11:25,542 --> 01:11:27,708
For me, that is a bridge

1467
01:11:27,709 --> 01:11:29,666
that has never been, like,

1468
01:11:29,667 --> 01:11:33,958
that is not a bridge that,
that has been created.

1469
01:11:33,959 --> 01:11:36,708
It would be the most amazing,

1470
01:11:36,709 --> 01:11:38,416
huge step of progress
if the church says,

1471
01:11:38,417 --> 01:11:41,874
hey, there's this LGBTQ event,
and yeah, even the guy who's

1472
01:11:41,875 --> 01:11:44,457
behind it doesn't believe
that it's a sin to be gay,

1473
01:11:44,458 --> 01:11:46,916
and, well,
here's a stamp of approval.

1474
01:11:46,917 --> 01:11:48,332
Like that, to me, I'm like...

1475
01:11:48,333 --> 01:11:50,749
amazing! It'd be amazing.

1476
01:11:50,750 --> 01:11:53,249
So yeah, I've just,
I've been waiting on, uh,

1477
01:11:53,250 --> 01:11:56,165
pins and needles
to see if they're gonna,

1478
01:11:56,166 --> 01:11:57,708
uh, come through
with a proposal,

1479
01:11:57,709 --> 01:12:00,999
and, and I hope it's sooner
rather than later.

1480
01:12:11,875 --> 01:12:13,791
Do you know what Daddy is doing?

1481
01:12:13,792 --> 01:12:15,207
What?

1482
01:12:15,208 --> 01:12:17,291
So, Daddy's putting
on a festival

1483
01:12:18,458 --> 01:12:22,791
because he wants people
to understand

1484
01:12:22,792 --> 01:12:24,749
that...

1485
01:12:24,750 --> 01:12:26,374
um, that...

1486
01:12:26,375 --> 01:12:29,207
Do you know what being gay is?

1487
01:12:29,208 --> 01:12:30,833
Do you remember how
we talked about how, like,

1488
01:12:30,834 --> 01:12:33,833
boys can love boys,
and girls can love girls,

1489
01:12:33,834 --> 01:12:34,916
or they can love,

1490
01:12:34,917 --> 01:12:37,249
girls can love boys
or boys can love girls?

1491
01:12:37,250 --> 01:12:39,582
Uh-huh, and...
And sometimes, what?

1492
01:12:39,583 --> 01:12:42,708
And sometimes girls
wanna be a boy,

1493
01:12:42,709 --> 01:12:45,541
and sometimes
boys wanna be girls,

1494
01:12:45,542 --> 01:12:46,833
and girls wanna be boys.

1495
01:12:46,834 --> 01:12:49,082
And then what can happen?
Remember, I told you sometimes

1496
01:12:49,083 --> 01:12:50,958
people can be mean
to that person.

1497
01:12:50,959 --> 01:12:52,249
Yeah.
Yeah.

1498
01:12:52,250 --> 01:12:54,791
And so we have to be,
protect that person, huh?

1499
01:12:54,792 --> 01:12:55,792
Yeah.

1500
01:12:57,041 --> 01:12:59,417
So, the festival's
called LoveLoud...

1501
01:13:01,291 --> 01:13:03,208
because it means,
"love everybody,

1502
01:13:04,458 --> 01:13:05,624
no matter what."

1503
01:13:09,458 --> 01:13:12,457
I saw something on your
phone, so you better read it.

1504
01:13:12,458 --> 01:13:15,040
Okay. It's 10:30 PM.

1505
01:13:15,041 --> 01:13:17,749
Uh, 10:30 PM, we were
just about to go to bed,

1506
01:13:17,750 --> 01:13:21,499
and it's August... 14th.
Sunday. Yeah.

1507
01:13:21,500 --> 01:13:23,583
Yeah.
So, we're like a week out.

1508
01:13:25,291 --> 01:13:26,958
Is that right? Yeah.
No, I don't know.

1509
01:13:26,959 --> 01:13:28,165
Arrow starts school tomorrow.

1510
01:13:28,166 --> 01:13:30,082
I don't know what...
We have 10 days. Like 10 days.

1511
01:13:30,083 --> 01:13:31,124
10 days. Anyway.
Okay.

1512
01:13:31,125 --> 01:13:32,917
We have the church's statement.

1513
01:13:33,917 --> 01:13:35,124
Quote,

1514
01:13:35,125 --> 01:13:38,290
"We applaud the Love..." It's long.
Geez.

1515
01:13:38,291 --> 01:13:42,207
Quote, "We applaud
the LoveLoud Festival

1516
01:13:42,208 --> 01:13:43,958
for LGBTQ youths..."

1517
01:13:43,959 --> 01:13:46,916
First of all, I've never heard
the church say, "LGBTQ."

1518
01:13:46,917 --> 01:13:49,040
It's always, they say,
"same-sex attraction."

1519
01:13:49,041 --> 01:13:51,749
I've never...
This is, that's...

1520
01:13:51,750 --> 01:13:53,583
I've never, ever
heard them say that.

1521
01:13:54,625 --> 01:13:56,499
Awesome.

1522
01:13:56,500 --> 01:13:58,791
"We applaud
the LoveLoud Festival's...

1523
01:13:58,792 --> 01:14:01,874
"Festival for LGBTQ youth's aim

1524
01:14:01,875 --> 01:14:04,833
"to bring people together
to address teen safety,

1525
01:14:04,834 --> 01:14:08,749
"and to express respect and love
for all of God's children.

1526
01:14:08,750 --> 01:14:10,874
"We join our voice with all

1527
01:14:10,875 --> 01:14:13,666
"who come together to foster
a community of inclusion

1528
01:14:13,667 --> 01:14:16,916
"in which no one is
mistreated because of who...

1529
01:14:16,917 --> 01:14:19,207
they are or what they believe."

1530
01:14:21,500 --> 01:14:22,875
"Who they are."

1531
01:14:23,000 --> 01:14:24,499
I know, that's big.

1532
01:14:24,500 --> 01:14:26,499
"We share common beliefs.
Among them,

1533
01:14:26,500 --> 01:14:28,124
"the pricelessness of our youth,

1534
01:14:28,125 --> 01:14:29,791
"and the value of families.

1535
01:14:29,792 --> 01:14:32,958
"We earnestly hope
this festival and others,

1536
01:14:32,959 --> 01:14:35,916
"other related efforts can
build respectful communication,

1537
01:14:35,917 --> 01:14:37,582
"better understanding
and civility

1538
01:14:37,583 --> 01:14:39,500
as we all learn
from each other."

1539
01:14:47,375 --> 01:14:50,041
That's really great, babe.
It's a step.

1540
01:14:53,959 --> 01:14:55,291
That's pretty awesome.

1541
01:15:12,917 --> 01:15:14,916
Check, check, one, two.

1542
01:15:14,917 --> 01:15:16,374
Pole mic one.

1543
01:15:19,792 --> 01:15:23,500
Wireless one, one, two.
Wireless one...

1544
01:15:33,458 --> 01:15:35,541
This is the reality of life.

1545
01:15:35,542 --> 01:15:38,749
Dan and I both have nerves,
and we're, like, nervous,

1546
01:15:38,750 --> 01:15:42,166
but I just think that there's some sort
of a deeper feeling of just, like...

1547
01:15:44,208 --> 01:15:48,791
I feel like this is the kind of stuff that
life is really, the purpose of it all.

1548
01:15:48,792 --> 01:15:51,958
So, there's, like,
a real gratification

1549
01:15:51,959 --> 01:15:55,416
in actually pulling
something like this off,

1550
01:15:55,417 --> 01:15:57,749
even though it hasn't
been pulled off yet,

1551
01:15:57,750 --> 01:15:59,290
but...

1552
01:15:59,291 --> 01:16:00,999
I feel like it's just...

1553
01:16:02,667 --> 01:16:05,708
Just one of those, it's,
opens your heart, you know?

1554
01:16:05,709 --> 01:16:07,708
It feels amazing.

1555
01:16:08,959 --> 01:16:11,457
Oh my gosh, seriously?

1556
01:16:11,458 --> 01:16:13,375
Let's not put that in there.

1557
01:16:15,500 --> 01:16:18,041
Hey, babe. We got to go,
sweetie. We're so late.

1558
01:16:19,125 --> 01:16:20,582
Honey, we are fine!

1559
01:16:20,583 --> 01:16:22,457
We have 20 minutes,
and I'm pumping.

1560
01:16:22,458 --> 01:16:24,249
The sooner we get there,
the sooner we can...

1561
01:16:24,250 --> 01:16:27,541
The better chance we get of
getting everybody in a room...

1562
01:16:27,542 --> 01:16:29,165
to have, like, a...

1563
01:16:29,166 --> 01:16:32,290
What do you want me to do? ...Pow-wow
with all the speakers and stuff.

1564
01:16:32,291 --> 01:16:34,457
Honey, what do you want me
to do about this pumping?

1565
01:16:34,458 --> 01:16:36,416
Nothing. You're fine.
I'm just...

1566
01:16:36,417 --> 01:16:38,125
being anxious. Sorry.

1567
01:16:40,166 --> 01:16:43,082
I could help you
pack while you're pumping.

1568
01:16:43,083 --> 01:16:44,999
Well, I, I like to pack.

1569
01:16:45,000 --> 01:16:46,249
I'm a control freak, remember?

1570
01:16:46,250 --> 01:16:47,499
Well, it's just literally

1571
01:16:47,500 --> 01:16:49,666
a matter of me zipping up
your zipper over here.

1572
01:16:49,667 --> 01:16:52,165
Well, okay. Just start
putting things away.

1573
01:16:52,166 --> 01:16:54,582
Yeah, I'll be honest. I don't know
where you want these two things...

1574
01:16:54,583 --> 01:16:57,250
Oh please. Can you just
...let me do it?

1575
01:16:58,166 --> 01:17:00,792
Oh my gosh.

1576
01:17:04,750 --> 01:17:05,959
It's gonna be amazing.

1577
01:17:06,917 --> 01:17:08,417
'Kay?
'Kay.

1578
01:17:09,667 --> 01:17:12,207
I just have to go
on stage and just...

1579
01:17:12,208 --> 01:17:13,958
Talk about...
...to all these people who are

1580
01:17:13,959 --> 01:17:16,583
completely opposites of
each other to get along.

1581
01:17:24,083 --> 01:17:25,624
All right, babe.
You okay?

1582
01:17:25,625 --> 01:17:26,708
No.

1583
01:17:26,709 --> 01:17:27,708
We're gonna do it.

1584
01:17:27,709 --> 01:17:29,999
Okay.
Let's do it.

1585
01:17:36,834 --> 01:17:40,291
All right, it's a good time to
look and see if there's protesters.

1586
01:17:41,750 --> 01:17:44,207
You're making me
so nervous today, hon.

1587
01:17:44,208 --> 01:17:45,708
I don't know why.
What?

1588
01:17:45,709 --> 01:17:47,124
I don't know why.
Why?

1589
01:17:47,125 --> 01:17:48,541
I don't know why.

1590
01:17:48,542 --> 01:17:50,207
I'm not supposed to be
here to make you nervous.

1591
01:17:50,208 --> 01:17:51,624
I think I'm just
making myself nervous,

1592
01:17:51,625 --> 01:17:53,785
and I just wanna blame it on
you 'cause you're my wife.

1593
01:17:57,625 --> 01:18:01,040
The people in line, I'm just
so curious to hear what people...

1594
01:18:01,041 --> 01:18:02,124
Are talking about.

1595
01:18:02,125 --> 01:18:04,249
Yeah. And what
the line looks like,

1596
01:18:04,250 --> 01:18:05,916
and, like, who,
who's coming to this.

1597
01:18:05,917 --> 01:18:07,082
It seems like there's a lot

1598
01:18:07,083 --> 01:18:09,416
more people than just the LGBTQ,

1599
01:18:09,417 --> 01:18:10,916
and I'm really happy
to see that.

1600
01:18:10,917 --> 01:18:12,541
I think what Dan Reynolds
has done here

1601
01:18:12,542 --> 01:18:16,749
is, is really, uh, important
for helping people to see,

1602
01:18:16,750 --> 01:18:19,916
and, and normalize
the concept of, of us being

1603
01:18:19,917 --> 01:18:21,332
in the same world as them.

1604
01:18:24,083 --> 01:18:27,457
I wish they could've been here,
you know, 10 years ago.

1605
01:18:27,458 --> 01:18:30,708
I think it would've saved a lot
of heartache for a lot of people.

1606
01:18:30,709 --> 01:18:32,165
Um,

1607
01:18:32,166 --> 01:18:34,666
yeah, I think it could've
saved some lives.

1608
01:18:34,667 --> 01:18:37,374
Seeing how many people are
out here supporting the cause is,

1609
01:18:37,375 --> 01:18:40,040
it's like a hope for
humanity kinda thing. Yeah.

1610
01:19:07,000 --> 01:19:08,000
Hey.

1611
01:19:18,583 --> 01:19:20,916
Yes! This is incredible!

1612
01:19:20,917 --> 01:19:22,916
This is the night that, uh,

1613
01:19:22,917 --> 01:19:24,582
I've been looking forward
to for so long.

1614
01:19:24,583 --> 01:19:27,332
This is the most important
stage I've ever been on.

1615
01:19:31,000 --> 01:19:32,874
Some people walked in tonight

1616
01:19:32,875 --> 01:19:35,374
feeling a little out of
their comfort zones.

1617
01:19:35,375 --> 01:19:37,999
Feeling like,
are people gonna judge me?

1618
01:19:38,000 --> 01:19:39,457
But guess what?

1619
01:19:39,458 --> 01:19:41,082
You came still.

1620
01:19:41,083 --> 01:19:42,666
I applaud you for that.

1621
01:19:42,667 --> 01:19:46,749
This speaks to the courage, to
the love of the people of Utah

1622
01:19:46,750 --> 01:19:49,290
that I have known for years.

1623
01:19:49,291 --> 01:19:52,499
And to see this,
for our LGBTQ youth,

1624
01:19:52,500 --> 01:19:54,207
I know speaks volumes to them,

1625
01:19:54,208 --> 01:19:57,666
so please give a round of applause,
first and foremost, to yourself.

1626
01:20:00,792 --> 01:20:02,207
I got to say that
that means so much

1627
01:20:02,208 --> 01:20:05,791
to me and to the people
who have put this together.

1628
01:20:05,792 --> 01:20:08,582
We've worked tirelessly
and hard to be able to make

1629
01:20:08,583 --> 01:20:11,207
this a place for everybody.
I hope that you know that.

1630
01:20:11,208 --> 01:20:12,999
There's no judgment
cast on anybody.

1631
01:20:13,000 --> 01:20:15,040
There is a place for everybody
here at this table.

1632
01:20:15,041 --> 01:20:18,249
We can all agree on one thing,
and that's in love,

1633
01:20:18,250 --> 01:20:20,874
absolute, pure, complete love.

1634
01:20:23,917 --> 01:20:27,541
I wanna introduce you to the
person who has me here today.

1635
01:20:27,542 --> 01:20:30,582
My everything. I am nothing
without this individual.

1636
01:20:30,583 --> 01:20:33,624
She has shaped my life, opened
my mind and my heart. Oh geez.

1637
01:20:33,625 --> 01:20:35,874
And she's also the greatest
artist in the whole world.

1638
01:20:35,875 --> 01:20:37,457
I'm not biased.
That's just the way it is.

1639
01:20:37,458 --> 01:20:39,833
It's my wife, Aja Volkman.

1640
01:20:39,834 --> 01:20:40,958
Come on out.

1641
01:20:58,834 --> 01:21:01,542
I can't talk, so I'm
just gonna play.

1642
01:21:07,125 --> 01:21:10,833
♪ Breathe in deep ♪

1643
01:21:10,834 --> 01:21:13,374
♪ This life ain't gonna be ♪

1644
01:21:13,375 --> 01:21:15,791
♪ Ea-ea-easy ♪

1645
01:21:15,792 --> 01:21:20,582
♪ Nobody said it'd be ♪

1646
01:21:20,583 --> 01:21:22,290
♪ So very ♪

1647
01:21:22,291 --> 01:21:25,458
♪ Hard ♪

1648
01:21:30,208 --> 01:21:34,624
♪ Don't lose faith ♪

1649
01:21:34,625 --> 01:21:38,290
I was a seven-year-old,
eight-year-old Mormon boy.

1650
01:21:38,291 --> 01:21:42,457
I was so afraid that I might
be gay because if I was,

1651
01:21:42,458 --> 01:21:45,332
it would mean that I would lose
my parents, my family,

1652
01:21:45,333 --> 01:21:47,874
the faith community
that I love so much,

1653
01:21:47,875 --> 01:21:50,082
and if that seven-year-old boy

1654
01:21:50,083 --> 01:21:52,624
could have flashed forward
and seen tonight,

1655
01:21:52,625 --> 01:21:56,916
with 20,000 Mormons
here celebrating us,

1656
01:21:56,917 --> 01:21:59,165
I would have had more
hope for the future.

1657
01:21:59,166 --> 01:22:03,541
And I hope that that the seven and
eight-year-old queer kids out there

1658
01:22:03,542 --> 01:22:06,124
will feel hope for
their future, as well.

1659
01:22:06,125 --> 01:22:08,708
♪ I need some more time ♪

1660
01:22:08,709 --> 01:22:11,165
♪ A couple last tears ♪

1661
01:22:11,166 --> 01:22:12,791
♪ Few more days ♪

1662
01:22:12,792 --> 01:22:15,834
♪ Before I disappear ♪

1663
01:22:17,458 --> 01:22:18,499
Thank you.

1664
01:22:20,000 --> 01:22:21,709
Thanks for coming.

1665
01:22:39,208 --> 01:22:43,874
Give a LoveLoud Fest welcome
to Savannah and her mother Heather!

1666
01:22:49,709 --> 01:22:50,709
Hi!

1667
01:22:55,458 --> 01:22:57,916
I was invited here
to share my truth.

1668
01:22:57,917 --> 01:23:01,582
Thanks to you for giving me
the space to speak today.

1669
01:23:01,583 --> 01:23:04,040
I believe I was made
the way I am,

1670
01:23:04,041 --> 01:23:07,082
all parts of me,
by my heavenly parents.

1671
01:23:07,083 --> 01:23:10,124
They did not mess up
when they gave me brown eyes

1672
01:23:10,125 --> 01:23:11,541
or when I was born bald.

1673
01:23:11,542 --> 01:23:14,124
They did not mess up
when they gave me freckles

1674
01:23:14,125 --> 01:23:16,165
or when I was made to be gay.

1675
01:23:16,166 --> 01:23:19,374
I want to love myself
and not feel shame.

1676
01:23:37,333 --> 01:23:40,749
And I know my heavenly parents
love and accept me.

1677
01:23:40,750 --> 01:23:42,416
Thank you.

1678
01:23:58,917 --> 01:24:02,165
It's quite a privilege to
be able to share your voice.

1679
01:24:02,166 --> 01:24:04,416
15 years ago,
I was a student at BYU,

1680
01:24:04,417 --> 01:24:06,582
and I was coming out,
and I was suicidal.

1681
01:24:06,583 --> 01:24:10,374
And I'm here, and I just got this hug
from this little girl who stood up.

1682
01:24:10,375 --> 01:24:14,332
She's 13, and she just told
everybody that God loves her

1683
01:24:14,333 --> 01:24:15,749
because He made her. I mean,

1684
01:24:15,750 --> 01:24:20,457
it took me until I was almost 30
to have that in my brain to say,

1685
01:24:20,458 --> 01:24:23,249
I don't have to be better
or try to be better.

1686
01:24:23,250 --> 01:24:26,791
God made me exactly who I am.
I'm the best I can be.

1687
01:24:26,792 --> 01:24:29,749
I'm exactly, exactly
what He said.

1688
01:24:29,750 --> 01:24:30,874
I made you.

1689
01:24:30,875 --> 01:24:33,582
So, it's just been
the most amazing thing.

1690
01:24:33,583 --> 01:24:35,541
I feel like I'm in
a dream right now.

1691
01:24:51,834 --> 01:24:53,583
It feels like Mormon Woodstock.

1692
01:24:54,500 --> 01:24:55,874
That's how it feels.

1693
01:24:55,875 --> 01:24:59,416
It feels like, uh, it feels
like a historic moment, really.

1694
01:24:59,417 --> 01:25:03,040
It feels like, uh, we've, we've
fought so hard for so long,

1695
01:25:03,041 --> 01:25:06,499
and finally, uh, we're able
to do something significant.

1696
01:25:06,500 --> 01:25:07,750
We've reached critical mass.

1697
01:25:08,667 --> 01:25:10,666
A scripture I cherish says,

1698
01:25:10,667 --> 01:25:14,165
of God, that He inviteth
all to come unto Him

1699
01:25:14,166 --> 01:25:15,833
and partake of His goodness.

1700
01:25:15,834 --> 01:25:18,999
And all are alike unto Him.

1701
01:25:19,000 --> 01:25:22,040
May this be a new beginning
for all of us that

1702
01:25:22,041 --> 01:25:24,332
this community may
hereafter be known

1703
01:25:24,333 --> 01:25:27,374
as a place of love for all.

1704
01:25:36,417 --> 01:25:39,249
The church did, um, endorse
this, right? Yeah, that was great.

1705
01:25:39,250 --> 01:25:42,582
But now, for me, I want them to put
their money where their mouth is.

1706
01:25:42,583 --> 01:25:46,165
If they're gonna say,
we love all of our LGBT people,

1707
01:25:46,166 --> 01:25:47,708
then let's get rid of
that policy,

1708
01:25:47,709 --> 01:25:49,916
and let's bring them
into full fellowship.

1709
01:25:49,917 --> 01:25:53,082
I mean, for me, personally,
nothing less will do.

1710
01:25:53,083 --> 01:25:55,874
Yeah. Because you can say,
I love you, all you want,

1711
01:25:55,875 --> 01:25:57,541
but until you act on that

1712
01:25:57,542 --> 01:26:00,582
in a way that feels
inclusive and complete,

1713
01:26:00,583 --> 01:26:04,624
then it's, it's a no-go.

1714
01:26:04,625 --> 01:26:07,124
I totally get where people
are coming from where they say,

1715
01:26:07,125 --> 01:26:10,916
like, it's a big step. It's
historic that they're approving

1716
01:26:10,917 --> 01:26:15,582
of anything, uh, LGBT related,
but I don't know.

1717
01:26:15,583 --> 01:26:19,666
I'm a little salty because
there's still a policy intact,

1718
01:26:19,667 --> 01:26:21,499
and it doesn't take away
from everyone that,

1719
01:26:21,500 --> 01:26:22,874
the pain that I went through.

1720
01:26:22,875 --> 01:26:24,207
Like,

1721
01:26:24,208 --> 01:26:28,666
that policy caused me to completely
go through a faith crisis.

1722
01:26:28,667 --> 01:26:32,082
I've, you know, had suicidality
this last year.

1723
01:26:32,083 --> 01:26:35,082
Like, I don't know where
I fit in all the time,

1724
01:26:35,083 --> 01:26:37,624
and that's because of them.

1725
01:26:37,625 --> 01:26:40,582
It's a tiny step
with the church.

1726
01:26:40,583 --> 01:26:42,625
It's a huge step for this area.

1727
01:26:43,750 --> 01:26:47,416
I'm the mother of
a 17-year-old gay son

1728
01:26:47,417 --> 01:26:50,249
that we lost to suicide
a year ago.

1729
01:26:50,250 --> 01:26:54,416
We work hard to spread the
message of unconditional love

1730
01:26:54,417 --> 01:26:58,166
for all of God's children,
so heartbreaking stories...

1731
01:26:59,959 --> 01:27:02,749
like mine won't happen again.

1732
01:27:05,291 --> 01:27:07,958
I'm absolutely just blown away.

1733
01:27:07,959 --> 01:27:10,708
This is a great message to
parents to say, you know what?

1734
01:27:10,709 --> 01:27:13,833
It is okay to love
your gay kids.

1735
01:27:13,834 --> 01:27:16,834
And I think the thing is kinda
hitting me the most is, uh...

1736
01:27:29,667 --> 01:27:31,625
I know Stockton is really proud.

1737
01:27:34,959 --> 01:27:36,375
He's really proud.

1738
01:27:38,125 --> 01:27:39,457
Yeah.

1739
01:27:39,458 --> 01:27:41,833
He would be dancing.
He's up there just glowing.

1740
01:27:42,875 --> 01:27:45,666
Probably... dancing
with no clothes on.

1741
01:27:46,917 --> 01:27:47,874
That's the truth!

1742
01:27:47,875 --> 01:27:49,874
I was gonna say it, but he did.

1743
01:27:49,875 --> 01:27:52,000
He's lovin' this.

1744
01:27:55,208 --> 01:27:56,666
♪ Oh, oh ♪

1745
01:27:56,667 --> 01:27:58,499
♪ I want some more ♪

1746
01:27:58,500 --> 01:28:00,125
♪ Oh, oh ♪

1747
01:28:03,208 --> 01:28:05,791
♪ What are you Waitin' for? ♪

1748
01:28:05,792 --> 01:28:08,999
♪ Say goodbye to my heart ♪

1749
01:28:09,000 --> 01:28:12,958
♪ Tonight ♪

1750
01:28:17,000 --> 01:28:19,624
You have to know
how much it means

1751
01:28:19,625 --> 01:28:23,082
to me personally, in my heart,

1752
01:28:23,083 --> 01:28:25,416
to play at this event

1753
01:28:25,417 --> 01:28:27,082
with my band, Neon Trees,

1754
01:28:27,083 --> 01:28:29,499
on this stage
in front of this crowd.

1755
01:28:39,709 --> 01:28:43,082
Being an openly
gay man performing

1756
01:28:43,083 --> 01:28:45,624
with my band up here
should speak volumes.

1757
01:28:45,625 --> 01:28:49,040
I am happy. I'm proud. I'm open.

1758
01:28:49,041 --> 01:28:51,582
I have friends and family
that love me,

1759
01:28:51,583 --> 01:28:52,749
and you will, too.

1760
01:28:54,041 --> 01:28:56,208
Thank you so much,
from the bottom of my heart.

1761
01:28:57,917 --> 01:29:00,374
♪ It started with a ♪

1762
01:29:00,375 --> 01:29:04,208
♪ Whisper ♪

1763
01:29:05,875 --> 01:29:08,749
♪ And that was when I ♪

1764
01:29:08,750 --> 01:29:13,040
♪ Kissed her ♪

1765
01:29:13,041 --> 01:29:15,207
I mean, it was a her,
at the time.

1766
01:29:17,542 --> 01:29:19,249
And then I found out...

1767
01:29:19,250 --> 01:29:25,125
♪ Everybody talks ♪

1768
01:29:26,417 --> 01:29:29,708
♪ It started with a whisper ♪

1769
01:29:29,709 --> 01:29:32,582
♪ And that was when
I kissed her ♪

1770
01:29:32,583 --> 01:29:35,791
♪ And then she made
my lips hurt ♪

1771
01:29:35,792 --> 01:29:39,165
♪ I can hear the chitchat ♪

1772
01:29:39,166 --> 01:29:41,833
♪ Take me to your love shack ♪

1773
01:29:41,834 --> 01:29:45,040
♪ Mamas always got to backtrack ♪

1774
01:29:45,041 --> 01:29:48,958
♪ When everybody talks back ♪

1775
01:29:48,959 --> 01:29:51,958
♪ Everybody talks,
everybody talks ♪

1776
01:29:51,959 --> 01:29:55,374
♪ Everybody
talks, everybody talks ♪

1777
01:29:55,375 --> 01:29:58,125
♪ Everybody talks,
everybody talks ♪

1778
01:29:59,125 --> 01:30:01,165
♪ Back ♪

1779
01:30:01,166 --> 01:30:02,207
Ooh!

1780
01:30:03,750 --> 01:30:05,291
LoveLoud, good night!

1781
01:30:18,000 --> 01:30:22,666
Are you guys
ready for Imagine Dragons?

1782
01:30:39,500 --> 01:30:40,791
♪ First things first ♪

1783
01:30:40,792 --> 01:30:43,624
♪ I'ma say all the words
inside my head ♪

1784
01:30:43,625 --> 01:30:47,666
♪ I'm fired up and tired of
the way that things have been ♪

1785
01:30:47,667 --> 01:30:49,290
♪ Oh, oh ♪

1786
01:30:49,291 --> 01:30:51,541
♪ Yeah, the way that
things have been ♪

1787
01:30:51,542 --> 01:30:54,624
♪ Oh, oh ♪

1788
01:30:54,625 --> 01:30:56,082
♪ Second thing second ♪

1789
01:30:56,083 --> 01:30:58,958
♪ Don't you tell me what you
think that I should be ♪

1790
01:30:58,959 --> 01:31:02,916
♪ I'm the one at the sails,
I'm the master of my sea ♪

1791
01:31:02,917 --> 01:31:04,749
♪ Oh, oh ♪

1792
01:31:04,750 --> 01:31:06,791
♪ Yeah, the master of my sea ♪

1793
01:31:06,792 --> 01:31:09,708
♪ Oh, oh ♪

1794
01:31:09,709 --> 01:31:12,999
♪ But they never did, ever lived, ebbing
and flowing, inhibited, limited ♪

1795
01:31:13,000 --> 01:31:15,374
♪ Till it broke up
and it rained down ♪

1796
01:31:15,375 --> 01:31:18,874
♪ It rained down, like ♪

1797
01:31:18,875 --> 01:31:19,958
♪ Pain ♪

1798
01:31:19,959 --> 01:31:23,332
♪ You made me a,
you made me a believer ♪

1799
01:31:23,333 --> 01:31:25,458
♪ Believer ♪

1800
01:31:27,083 --> 01:31:30,332
♪ You break me down,
you built me up, believer ♪

1801
01:33:46,333 --> 01:33:50,166
LoveLoud was everything
we could've hoped for and more.

1802
01:33:51,542 --> 01:33:52,874
It showed,

1803
01:33:52,875 --> 01:33:55,082
it's not just me, as a Mormon,

1804
01:33:55,083 --> 01:34:00,082
who is antsy for change.

1805
01:34:00,083 --> 01:34:03,666
The whole Mormon community
came out in droves to say,

1806
01:34:03,667 --> 01:34:08,082
this is a place, uh, within
the church that is broken.

1807
01:34:08,083 --> 01:34:09,958
How can we fix it?

1808
01:34:11,083 --> 01:34:13,916
Leading up to LoveLoud,
uh, the church

1809
01:34:13,917 --> 01:34:15,374
obviously, reached out to me,

1810
01:34:15,375 --> 01:34:18,416
and we have been having,
kind of, an open dialogue.

1811
01:34:18,417 --> 01:34:20,541
Coming out of LoveLoud,

1812
01:34:20,542 --> 01:34:22,165
everybody was feeling

1813
01:34:22,166 --> 01:34:24,124
positive momentum.

1814
01:34:24,125 --> 01:34:28,708
I had been extremely
excited for General Conference.

1815
01:34:28,709 --> 01:34:30,874
And general conference
happens twice a year.

1816
01:34:30,875 --> 01:34:34,082
It's where the apostles,
and the prophets speak,

1817
01:34:34,083 --> 01:34:37,708
uh, like on live television
to the world,

1818
01:34:37,709 --> 01:34:41,249
and to all the Mormons.
And I think a lot of Mormons,

1819
01:34:41,250 --> 01:34:47,541
myself, were waiting
to hear an apostle say,

1820
01:34:47,542 --> 01:34:50,833
now let's start to do
something to change this.

1821
01:34:50,834 --> 01:34:51,916
Members of

1822
01:34:51,917 --> 01:34:54,958
the Church of Jesus Christ
of Latter-day Saints

1823
01:34:54,959 --> 01:34:57,916
are blessed with unique doctrine

1824
01:34:57,917 --> 01:35:01,124
and different ways
of viewing the world.

1825
01:35:01,125 --> 01:35:04,958
We've witnessed a rapid
and increasing public acceptance

1826
01:35:04,959 --> 01:35:07,416
of cohabitation without marriage

1827
01:35:07,417 --> 01:35:09,082
and same-sex marriage.

1828
01:35:09,083 --> 01:35:11,249
Elder Oaks talked about
the Family Proclamation,

1829
01:35:11,250 --> 01:35:16,541
which is basically an old piece
that was put together

1830
01:35:16,542 --> 01:35:18,332
from the church that
was released about

1831
01:35:18,333 --> 01:35:20,207
marriage is between
a man and a woman,

1832
01:35:20,208 --> 01:35:24,207
and these are the things that
make up a good, healthy family.

1833
01:35:24,208 --> 01:35:27,165
The Family Proclamation
begins by declaring that

1834
01:35:27,166 --> 01:35:32,040
marriage between a man
and a woman is ordained of God,

1835
01:35:32,041 --> 01:35:35,916
and that the family is
central to the Creator's plan

1836
01:35:35,917 --> 01:35:40,124
for the eternal destiny
of his children.

1837
01:35:40,125 --> 01:35:44,791
It also affirms that gender is
an essential characteristic of

1838
01:35:44,792 --> 01:35:49,999
individual, premortal, mortal,
and eternal identity and purpose.

1839
01:35:50,000 --> 01:35:51,666
The church basically just

1840
01:35:51,667 --> 01:35:56,290
doubled down on everything
they've been pounding into

1841
01:35:56,291 --> 01:36:00,874
my head, and Mormons' heads
for years, which is

1842
01:36:00,875 --> 01:36:04,708
to be gay, and act upon it,
is a sin.

1843
01:36:04,709 --> 01:36:06,999
Marriage is between
man and a woman.

1844
01:36:07,000 --> 01:36:11,874
Popular culture, popular people
will try to tell you otherwise.

1845
01:36:11,875 --> 01:36:13,916
Every generation has its tests,

1846
01:36:13,917 --> 01:36:17,165
and its chance to stand
and prove itself.

1847
01:36:17,166 --> 01:36:19,666
I believe our attitude toward,

1848
01:36:19,667 --> 01:36:21,582
and use of
the Family Proclamation,

1849
01:36:21,583 --> 01:36:25,165
is one of those tests
for this generation.

1850
01:36:25,166 --> 01:36:30,208
I pray for all Latter-day Saints
to stand firm in that test.

1851
01:36:31,166 --> 01:36:34,250
In light of LoveLoud,

1852
01:36:35,667 --> 01:36:39,249
that, for me, was a dark day

1853
01:36:39,250 --> 01:36:40,874
to say the least.

1854
01:36:40,875 --> 01:36:42,917
It's a dark week, a dark month.

1855
01:36:54,000 --> 01:36:55,374
With that being said,

1856
01:36:55,375 --> 01:36:58,040
if there's one thing my Mormon
values have taught me

1857
01:36:58,041 --> 01:36:59,124
since I was young...

1858
01:36:59,125 --> 01:37:00,416
♪ First things first ♪

1859
01:37:00,417 --> 01:37:03,332
♪ I'ma say all the words
inside my head ♪

1860
01:37:03,333 --> 01:37:07,541
♪ I'm fired up and tired of
the way that things have been ♪

1861
01:37:07,542 --> 01:37:08,624
♪ Oh... ♪

1862
01:37:08,625 --> 01:37:11,541
It's that no matter
what the world says

1863
01:37:11,542 --> 01:37:15,249
about who you are,
what you believe,

1864
01:37:15,250 --> 01:37:17,082
still do it, 100 percent.

1865
01:37:18,500 --> 01:37:21,416
That spirit was the spirit that
carried me through my mission.

1866
01:37:21,417 --> 01:37:26,374
I felt like I was
bearing my truth,

1867
01:37:26,375 --> 01:37:29,207
regardless of what
anybody thought about me.

1868
01:37:29,208 --> 01:37:32,249
That's all because of Mormonism
and my parents,

1869
01:37:32,250 --> 01:37:36,124
and so they have all prepped me
for this moment now.

1870
01:37:36,125 --> 01:37:40,582
♪ Pain, you made me a,
you made me a believer ♪

1871
01:37:40,583 --> 01:37:42,166
♪ Believer ♪

1872
01:37:43,583 --> 01:37:48,249
♪ Pain, you break me down,
you build me up, believer ♪

1873
01:37:48,250 --> 01:37:49,917
♪ Believer ♪

1874
01:37:52,250 --> 01:37:55,416
A determined
Mormon is a scary thing.

1875
01:37:55,417 --> 01:37:56,999
I will tell you that.

1876
01:37:57,000 --> 01:37:59,999
Because they don't stop.

1877
01:38:00,000 --> 01:38:03,749
I knocked 100 doors
to get into one door.

1878
01:38:03,750 --> 01:38:06,291
I knocked thousands of doors
on my mission.

1879
01:38:07,500 --> 01:38:09,958
If there's one thing
I can guarantee,

1880
01:38:09,959 --> 01:38:14,124
it's that I will continue
to knock this door

1881
01:38:14,125 --> 01:38:15,791
until somebody answers.

1882
01:38:15,792 --> 01:38:19,040
♪ My life, my love, my drive,
it came from ♪

1883
01:38:19,041 --> 01:38:20,082
♪ Pain ♪

1884
01:38:20,083 --> 01:38:24,165
♪ You made me a,
you made me a believer ♪

1885
01:38:24,166 --> 01:38:26,541
♪ Believer ♪

1886
01:38:53,959 --> 01:38:56,749
♪ Wake up every morning ♪

1887
01:38:56,750 --> 01:38:59,624
♪ With a new resolve ♪

1888
01:38:59,625 --> 01:39:02,249
♪ Two hands and one heart ♪

1889
01:39:02,250 --> 01:39:05,916
♪ Let the world revolve ♪

1890
01:39:05,917 --> 01:39:08,999
Because of LoveLoud,
my dad felt like he had

1891
01:39:09,000 --> 01:39:11,958
the permission to love
and accept me for who I am,

1892
01:39:11,959 --> 01:39:15,833
and LoveLoud gave us a bonding,

1893
01:39:15,834 --> 01:39:18,999
and that I am really
grateful for.

1894
01:39:19,000 --> 01:39:22,499
It gave me the guts to talk
about my son's sexuality

1895
01:39:22,500 --> 01:39:24,457
in ways that I had never
been able to before.

1896
01:39:24,458 --> 01:39:26,833
I've had four people come out
to me since LoveLoud.

1897
01:39:26,834 --> 01:39:30,541
They said that LoveLoud gave them
the courage to live their truth.

1898
01:39:30,542 --> 01:39:34,833
LoveLoud gave me the opportunity
to tell my story,

1899
01:39:34,834 --> 01:39:39,207
and declare that I am worth it
in front of thousands of people.

1900
01:39:39,208 --> 01:39:42,332
LoveLoud gave my family
the chance to stand

1901
01:39:42,333 --> 01:39:45,457
shoulder to shoulder
with our transgender son.

1902
01:39:45,458 --> 01:39:48,958
And not only him, but with
neighbors and extended family,

1903
01:39:48,959 --> 01:39:53,541
who never would have ever
shown up for an LGBT event.

1904
01:39:53,542 --> 01:39:54,874
LoveLoud gave me hope,

1905
01:39:54,875 --> 01:39:57,916
and inspiration that
things can change.

1906
01:39:57,917 --> 01:40:01,290
That I, myself, can be a force
for good in my own community.

1907
01:40:01,291 --> 01:40:03,457
Looking at this crowd
of thousands of people,

1908
01:40:03,458 --> 01:40:06,332
I realize these are people
I don't have to be scared of.

1909
01:40:06,333 --> 01:40:07,582
There's a lot of support

1910
01:40:07,583 --> 01:40:10,916
in my community that
I didn't realize was there,

1911
01:40:10,917 --> 01:40:15,082
and it was honestly one of
the best days of my life.

1912
01:40:15,083 --> 01:40:16,082
When I was 13, 14,

1913
01:40:16,083 --> 01:40:19,916
I felt completely
isolated and silenced,

1914
01:40:19,917 --> 01:40:22,332
and it hasn't even
been that long,

1915
01:40:22,333 --> 01:40:24,500
and I just feel so hopeful

1916
01:40:26,125 --> 01:40:28,791
about the future, and that

1917
01:40:28,792 --> 01:40:31,583
things will just keep
getting better, and...

1918
01:40:33,291 --> 01:40:34,666
I hope it does.

1919
01:40:34,667 --> 01:40:37,958
♪ I keep skipping stones ♪

1920
01:40:37,959 --> 01:40:40,082
♪ Hoping for a change ♪

1921
01:40:40,083 --> 01:40:43,792
♪ But, things just
stay the same ♪

1922
01:40:45,667 --> 01:40:49,207
♪ I keep walking roads ♪

1923
01:40:49,208 --> 01:40:51,416
♪ Looking for the home ♪

1924
01:40:51,417 --> 01:40:56,666
♪ That I can call my own ♪

1925
01:40:56,667 --> 01:40:58,416
♪ Skipping stones ♪

1926
01:40:58,417 --> 01:40:59,499
♪ I'm ♪

1927
01:40:59,500 --> 01:41:01,290
♪ Skipping stones ♪

1928
01:41:01,291 --> 01:41:02,290
♪ I'm ♪

1929
01:41:02,291 --> 01:41:04,082
♪ Skipping stones ♪

1930
01:41:04,083 --> 01:41:05,290
♪ I'm ♪

1931
01:41:05,291 --> 01:41:06,917
♪ Skipping stones ♪

1932
01:41:07,834 --> 01:41:09,666
♪ Skipping stones ♪

1933
01:41:09,667 --> 01:41:10,666
♪ I'm ♪

1934
01:41:10,667 --> 01:41:12,457
♪ Skipping stones ♪

1935
01:41:12,458 --> 01:41:13,457
♪ I'm ♪

1936
01:41:13,458 --> 01:41:15,082
♪ Skipping stones ♪

1937
01:41:15,083 --> 01:41:16,290
♪ I'm ♪

1938
01:41:16,291 --> 01:41:19,624
♪ Skipping stones ♪

1939
01:41:19,625 --> 01:41:23,332
Love is not a product
of reasonings and statistics.

1940
01:41:23,333 --> 01:41:25,124
It just comes,

1941
01:41:25,125 --> 01:41:26,582
and none knows whence.

1942
01:41:26,583 --> 01:41:28,375
It cannot explain itself.

1943
01:41:29,917 --> 01:41:31,499
Love is a madness.

1944
01:41:31,500 --> 01:41:33,583
If thwarted, it develops fast.

1945
01:41:35,166 --> 01:41:37,624
When you fish for love,

1946
01:41:37,625 --> 01:41:40,207
bait with your heart.
Not your brain.

1947
01:41:41,500 --> 01:41:44,958
♪ I keep skipping stones ♪

1948
01:41:44,959 --> 01:41:47,040
♪ Hoping for a change ♪

1949
01:41:47,041 --> 01:41:50,875
♪ But, things just
stay the same ♪

1950
01:41:52,667 --> 01:41:56,249
♪ I keep walking roads ♪

1951
01:41:56,250 --> 01:41:58,332
♪ Looking for a home ♪

1952
01:41:58,333 --> 01:42:03,666
♪ That I can call my own ♪

1953
01:42:03,667 --> 01:42:05,374
♪ Skipping stones ♪

1954
01:42:05,375 --> 01:42:06,416
♪ I'm ♪

1955
01:42:06,417 --> 01:42:08,124
♪ Skipping stones ♪

1956
01:42:08,125 --> 01:42:09,207
♪ I'm ♪

1957
01:42:09,208 --> 01:42:10,833
♪ Skipping stones ♪

1958
01:42:10,834 --> 01:42:12,124
♪ I'm ♪

1959
01:42:12,125 --> 01:42:13,959
♪ Skipping stones ♪

1960
01:42:14,875 --> 01:42:16,416
♪ Skipping stones ♪

1961
01:42:16,417 --> 01:42:17,624
♪ I'm ♪

1962
01:42:17,625 --> 01:42:19,374
♪ Skipping stones ♪

1963
01:42:19,375 --> 01:42:20,457
♪ I'm ♪

1964
01:42:20,458 --> 01:42:22,165
♪ Skipping stones ♪

1965
01:42:22,166 --> 01:42:23,124
♪ I'm ♪

1966
01:42:23,125 --> 01:42:25,834
♪ Skipping stones ♪