the ward

21ST CENTURY GIRLS

↪username: estaella

↪full name: Chae Siyeon
↪ nickname/s:
+ siya , used by her close friend who tends to visit her
+ shy noodle , used by hoseok because of her thin stature and how she often tends to be bashful when around people
+ yeollie, just by her mother, its a pet name and a name which she cherishes a lot and at times when she craves comfort she would go to the person who shes closest tp and ask them whether they can rake their fingers through her hair and calling her yeollie
↪ age & birthdate: 22 + APril 29th 1995
↪ weight & height: 157 cm & 43 kg
↪ hometown: jeonju, korea
↪ birthplace: jeonju, korea
↪ ethnicity: korean
↪ nationality: korean

2! 3!

↪slot: mrs. potato head
    ╰back up: mad hatter
↪faceclaim: sojung of ladies code (I thought she would suit this slot considering she confessed that she was anorexic)
http://66.media.tumblr.com/bd81284145d0b4b1af5ea40842cebbcd/tumblr_o30idcXqf91v0inx8o5_500.gif
http://68.media.tumblr.com/79e125457202c58bd1e39f68f5d05e69/tumblr_o3l1gtyBTt1ryj1ubo2_540.gif
https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/d6/64/1c/d6641c334238b2d6093d678e56f6ca22.jpg
http://pa1.narvii.com/6018/fd14bb93b1b91a440913f2d709d0cb954d85c059_hq.gif
      ╰backup: hyerin of exid (LIE era)
↪personality:
 Shes a self conscious person. Often thinking about what she should do or if shes doing it wrong, whether she tries to achieve perfect and fails but still keeps on working on it. shes naïve towards everyone and her feelings. Shes usually seen with a frown on her face or a lost gaze. Shes a dancer at heart and loves to express how she feels like that, yet she really cant often put it to her true extent which results her to be frustrated with herself which tends to result with her crying. Shes a liar as well and can lie and manipulate her way to get something she wants, such as getting those away from her or just using her plain . She prefers to be alone, rather shy about those in the ward with her. Only several people seen her and usually tends to call her the ghost, because she lurks in the halls during the depths of the night. Shes quiet, she doesn't talk much unless you are her doctor or a close friend. Shes often insecure about her body, and wishes that she had was like those girls in the magazines, just really pretty. Shes envious, envious of others but shes envious of couples, often thinking if she was in a relationship, but only if shes beautiful. You feel pity towards her. WIth her lost gaze ad her cloudy eyes you just didn't know which direction she goes. Shes impulsive no doubt, shes willing to do something without thinking. If she sees anything full of calories she does throw it away right away. Shes cautious around the food she eats as well, often looking at the labels and making sure they don't have much fat. If you are one of the people who are close to her, you should know that shes a clingy person, often holding onto a person and asking for comfort. She wants to feel acceptance, shes just used to being a failure that she just wants comfort. Shes hot tempered, lashing out at those who push her, who try to help her for her good, yet she cnt accept their kindness due to all the self hate, why should someone love her if she cant love her. Shes a dancer and poet by heart, often comparing herself to Icarus who strives for the sun but only to fall into despair. Shes a shy bun, often rather shocked when someone talks to her. Shes a person who doesn't trust people she cant really take compliments without thinking about those people who bullied her before. She just cant bring herself to eat more, nor even eat properly without thinking about her young days. Shes often discouraged by herself. Shes naïve and gullible and always looks in the past. SHe just wants to do something right yet she cant let go of somethings. Shes a person who gets rather shy, and bashfully when someone genuinely compliments her because its something she likes. In the end she just wants to seek for comfort. She feels tired and drained everyday. She craves to be with someone by her side, she just wants someone to make her feel accepted. However if talk to her about dance her eyes will brighten up and would often talk about the recitals that e=her friend shows and would comment on how her form was too good to be true. At times siyeon often wishes to be apart of those girls, in flowy dresses, bandaged legs from the blisters, being on stage yet she knows shes far from that with her ankle aching with every sharp movement and her rotting body. Shes usually anvxious, with her fingers tapping against the railing and her eyes flicking everywhere. She feels like anything she does people will be out to get her, comment her , mock her.

 ↪background:
- She grew up in a rather good household. Yet, from a young age her parents expected a lot from her. They wanted her to excel in ther arts as well as the studies. she became a ballet dancer from a young age always working hard. It was hard for her with her sore soles and blisters popping here an there. But all she wanted them is to be happy. She was a stressed out kid, always crying when she got a bad grade because she knew what would come after that, disdain, disappointment from her parents. She didnt want that, she wanted to be that perfect child that is talented and loved by many. She didnt make as much as friends in elementary school because how introverted she is, but she didnt want to makes but was too shy. Her parents werent so helpful as well, she felt as if she cant say anything thats why she would start a journal.. When she was 14 she got injured from ballet which caused her not to dance for a long time and maybe no be able to get it's points through. She cried her eyes out, not being able to dance, not being able to create art she was a wreck. She felt like trash,  a fourteen year old shouldn't feel this way. With the world hanging on her shoulders, she felt it crumble apart. Even then she kept on trying to dance, but it wouldn't work. She actually got an ankle sprain but she kept on overdoing it that she can no longer dance, well dance to that extent. She had a dream be a dancer and perform on stage like the little mermaid in france however with that injury it really cant be the same. however she wanted to continue to dance and she figure out how to incorporate dance. She kept working hard and strived to be a dancer. However after realizing that she couldn't dance, she had simply given up, she gave on maintaining her body and just craved food. she ate and ate and it was all out of stress and frustration but also despair that she really couldn't do something that she loved. So by the time she entered highschool she had certainly gained weight. She was known for her petite figure, in her old school days and everyone began commenting about. The commented how much weight she gained, they would ask her about what did she do in order to become fat. And it continued, most people weren't really associated her but she was the topic, on how a former ballet dancer can gain weight, to the fact they  began bullying her, but only with words. Often commenting on her size and how she cant do much with that size. she lost her body confidence, considering when she was doing ballet, everyone called her stick thin but now they are calling her elephant. She struggled in highschool, always being commented on size regardless. That's why she began losing weight, "a fool proof" plan she thought. The reoccurring thought of being thin and perfect came into her mind, being the reason why people liked her and commented on how her body looked. She began doing too much diets, and reducing her portion and even trying the runny poop diet. She eventually lost weight by the end of highschool, people began saying it was a good change and how she looks way better. However even after highschool =, she still finds herself fat and has to maintain and still eat at lower portion till the fact that she became stick thin. She is a malnourished child, in a sense, her limps sharp and her face showed their gauntness. Yet she felt full, she just wanted to be hollowed out, taking away all the grime till she was finally thin. Her parents would often worry about her, they weren't even sure for letting her go for university with such mentality, considering that shes that thin. Howevr she did go, and she really kept her ways, till one day her roommate found her passed out on the floor of their dorms. And then she found herself at the ward, being diagnosed anorexia nervosia, and really having no way out of it. Her physician had told her, from looking at her medical history that she showed signs of having a eating disorder in highschool with her fluctuating weight yet she still ignores the fact. Yet when shes in the ward, she really cant bring her self out, considering her parents face when they told her that she has to be hospitalized till she gets her weight n control. she felt like a failure and it would be the same with other ward members with the thoughts of them saying "you are here for weight problems, wow".

↪likes:
+ ballad music
+ low calories
+ feeling accepted
+ old literature, such as Icarus or Antigone
+ ballet
↪dislikes:
+ being scolded
+ being fat
+ carbs
+ being called a stick
+ loud places
↪trivias:
+ calorie cautious
+ shes always throws her food away or gives it to someone else
+ tends to make a reference towards Icarus
+ often asks her mother to buy her succulents and naming them for her
+ often tries to go for a run in order to reduce the calories she has eaten
+ had a turtle named riko who stays in her mothers care
+ watches dance recitals for fun


↪habits:
+ biting her lips till they bleed
+ picking the skin near her nails
+ her eyes constantly flickering over everything when shes feeling anxious
+ picking up a can and reading the labels


↪which of the slots you wanna be close to?: toxic or dollhouse

LOST

↪love interest: namjoon
      ╰back up:
relationship in the beginning to end:

note!! : Dialectical behavior therapy
Talk therapy that encourages people to both accept themselves and change their negative behaviors., Its the reason why hes kind of harsh towards her

how did they meet:
- he first met her as a patient, with the report of her roommate passed out.  He hadn't really been much interested into the girl diagnosed with anorexia nervosia but he was rather forced to because he switched with another who was with him. When they first met was when he first entered the room, noticing the thin stature girl , avoiding eye contact from him. it wasnt the most welcoming first meeting but he only saw her as an assignment and she only saw him the man who would only away from her life.

their relationship:

beg: doctor/patient relationship
+ she was somewhat quiet on him, looking a bit annoyed with every question he asked
+ hardcore therapy, which results to her hating his guts for a while
+ him still being harsh
+ tbh they arent on familiar terms
"Doctor Kim is here"
"Tell him to fuck off and hes not even a doctor "
"I can hear you"

middle: friends
+  they made up, only after she asked him to say his story, which switched the tables and basically manipulated him so they dont have to talk about her
+ their therapy sessions became less harsh but still straight to the point
+ he would try to be her side
+ often sends positive messages
+ still kinda harsh on her, brutally honest
+ tries to give her comfort
+ checks her calories intake and give her brain growth facts
+ talks to the other girls to know how shes like here

end: close friends with feelings
+ him feeding her, "You better take 2000 calories " "No" "BOI "
+ "you don't need anyones approval"
+ showing her recital videos
+ mild bickering
+ calling her up to see if she ate fine
+ "No im not dancing with you"
"Why not"
"Im a psychology major, not a fucking dance one"
"you can try"
+"you can do this!?"

↪suggested scenes with your l/i:
" So you want to be in dance" He asked as he looked at the past notes of the doctors, "but your ankle" . the lad looked up from his papers to see the gilr staring elsewhere.
"Are you listening to me" He snapped, however no response, "Can you hear me or.."
"Do i need to give an answer when its already on there"
-
"im fat thats the thing, i dont suit the ideal types of others"
"okay then you are fat"
the girl was already crying enough but she couldnt help glare at him.
"And you arent in any situation to be in a relationship with the place you are in"
"See im a fucking failure" She croaked.
Namjoon dropped his pen, and clasped his hands together, "Only if you think that way"
"At times" he paused, "we dont tend to find our true selves, because no one is guiding you, and at times you have to be your own guide"
-
She really couldnt help but stare at the bottle of juice, her eyes searching for the label however a familar voice spoke up,
"Its 140 calories"
She turned around to see a familiar face.
"Drink it, it has enough glucose for your body, its necessary for your brain and muscles"
however she wouldnt budge. The lad strolled towards her, crouching across from her, where she was sitting in her bed. His hand grasped around the juice, urging it towards the girl.
"one drink wont hurt" he said, "this is the only thing your system wont regurgitate due to the lack of solid foods"
She looked at him with unsteady eyes, often flicking over the drink and him, "Please" he said, it was one of the few time he was gentle after their talk therapy, which he called Dialectical behavior therapy, which resulted in tears. "Its something to tell your parents, than letting them being sick to death"

-
"Are we seeing growth?"
"Im actually eating about 500 calories a day now" She said with a smile on her face.
"Thats good" HE said, looking over her papers, "You need to rise your intake"
"I dont want too, i feel too full " She groaned, "Its already hard enough to eat this much"
"Are you still doing steps exercise"
"yeahh" She muttered.
"subtract that by 133" he said, "And youll get about 350, you have to eat more"

-
"Did you bring the shoes"
"Yeah?? hopefully they are your size" He brings out  pair of ballet slippers from his bag.
"I think they are"
"Good, wear them!"
-
"Siyeon promise when you are out of here you wont go back the way you were"
"Promise me" He said, raising his pinky.
"yes i promise"
"And dont forget to contact me"
"Do i have to"
"who else will yell at you"
"You just want me to suffer dont yiu"


WINGS

↪other suggested scenes:
+ the mystery of the dead girl in the halls
+ "please stay with me tonight"
+ "siya, ya gotta eat"
"how many calories?"
"Like 60"
"That means I have to reduce -"
"Just eat"
"hhhh"
+ "So doctor Jung dances"
" Yeahhhh "
"Do you think he can sneak me out"
" Siyeon"
"Yeah"
"Doctor PArk already tried"
"oh yeah, but its Doctor Jung, Doctor park attracted too much people "
"Ask Dr. Kim"
"Hes gonna yell at me"
"Tru tru"
"We can persuade Doctor jung, i  gotta tell my dream"
"That gets everyone"
"I know right"
-
+
↪message to me: I'm sorry for being a little shit, this is so late bro, but I hope this form is alright, kinda sucky but yeah. but bro you are so close1111 hhhh I'm excited!1 I need to catch up with it because school kept me busy and I'm like flowed with everything but I'm going to read everything tonight and be caught up. ill be active for sure ahah! good luck with this af and  ba bing ba boom
↪anything else to add?: nope mah love but she majored in literature
↪password: in the rules. milky way