I miss my friend

johnnie lee hollis III

I don’t even know where to begin. So many memories of my friend running through my head. It hurts. He was the fuckin best. He could make me so fucking irritated but at the same time love him for being him. He’d be pleased as punch he has all the ops bawling, and so many of us in the chat.

Last night throughout the evening I was deeply comforted by seeing the dozens of people that came back into chat to pay their respects and tell their favorite Dyingjohnnie story. Every single one of those stories had a common theme: ‘DJ was there for me when I was at my lowest, and wouldn’t let me fail. He helped me get to where I am today.’

I think as a person having others say that about him is the highest praise possible. DJ was an incredible human being.

He without a doubt helped me get to where I am now as a person, and it hurts immeasurably to know I can’t tell him that, or that I love him, or so many other things that I’ll never get to say. I miss my friend.

I can’t recall the specific first time I saw him in the chat, but he made a quick impression on all of us with his enthusiasm, kindness, honesty and friendship. And his own unique hyperactive brand of conversation. LOTS OF F BOMBS AND CAPS LOCK!(We actually ran the numbers - he said fuck more than any one person in the channel, by a FUCKIN LARGE margin) He loved joking with everyone and trying to make people smile. Even when he was struggling himself.

He could recall user’s names and details about conversations they had months ago and would jump at someone when they came back in chat and ask for updates, how things were, if they were still working on the things they talked about last time.

Probably every single white belt that came into IRC in the past year said at one point or another that DJ was their favorite person in chat. and how when he was gone, either just taking a break, or on one of his many temporary bans(he was on more than one occasion a handful, wew) people would await his return and share stories of him helping them, even when he was still alive. That’s how big of a heart he had and how much he affected people.

I don’t think I’ve seen any person be such a positive force in so many people’s lives as DJ. And I mean force; he was a wild storm of energy that he tried to impart on everyone. He wanted everyone to succeed. To be awesome. To be at their full potential that he saw in someone.

At times it could be draining, and we clashed in the channel more than once. But I’ve never had someone respect us Ops more or know that what we do is for a reason.

I hated modding at him, because I knew when he was lashing out it usually came with some degree of pain, and every one of us Ops at some point or another probably muted or banned him on at least one occasion. He was mercurial. He was DJ. He knew how to push my buttons, and knew that when we modded at him it wasn’t personal.


I was jealous of DJ in a lot of ways. His free spirit; he would just up and move or drive across the state on a whim. I could never be that adventurous. His musical talent. His way of just attacking life and going after things. His honesty and bullshit calling.

He had such a way of being completely open to strangers and letting them into his heart. His constant pushing of us in the chat to keep on with our better habits. Our fish oil. Our veggies. Our Halks. Our exercising. Our mental health. Our fucking quenching. We came up with a stupid inside joke for drinking fucking water. I always take credit for it, but it was him.