You're not UG if you happen to speak the slang of the city, for that's nothing for I live in Vantaa.
If you eat in a buffet for hours upon hours, I eat the meat factory right to bankruptcy.
You got a cupboard when you want to grow weed, I've got to myself a whole football field.
If you can make music and are producing like no tomorrow, I've been farting notes high as fuck for years already.

That's nothing, if you can't do anything, I have a 3rd of Funkiest (a music shop in Helsinki) all to myself.
Partake, your career is at it's end, in the top 30's you vote for yourself.
That's nothing that you're an 'entertainer', but for those lyrics of yours you need a personal trainer.
Everyday you sound shittier and shittier, when your flow is more full of piss than the children's pool.

You're think that you've got it all covered when I got the whole planet in my hand.
When you have many gifts and study in school, I'm completely crazy, and Santa Claus.
DJ's scratch, prey on (others) like it's nothing, I stalk a Gnu with my lion claws.
That's nothing, if you know magic tricks. I make people disappear, those that are quite something.

That's nothing, if you're Väinämöinen (Poet deity in our national work of Kalevala). I sold my poems and said 'fuck off' to 9-5 jobs.
That's nothing, that I'm lyrically gifted, I rap into a phone, bootleg off an answering machine.
That's nothing, that you speak highly of yourself. When I talk about myself, I smell dank.
And that's nothing that you life your life well, when on my tombstone it reads: "Over my dead body"

If you enjoy making domino pieces fall, I use tombstones or the line in a store.
If you like war and want to work in the army, I'm building a nuclear bomb at my home.
When you speed through the lands, I come with my Fiat and break the speed of sound.
If you're in drug tests ans pissing in a jar, I come to your house and piss everywhere.

That's nothing, that there used to be slavery. I invented Nylon and thusly cotton needn't be picked no more.
That's nothing that I puked moral, if P.Diddy was born in Finland, he'd be nothing but a Social Welfare Somali.
In the US, the rappers are born to the streets, but I'm cooler than them, since I'm born on the ski-tracks.
My self compliments wouldn't help even, vade meekkur (no fucking clue what this shit means xD) try to rap better than any finnish Salamelekum.

That's nothing if you recycle everything, I take my leftover women to the recycling center.
That's nothing, if you're a smelly bum. I mooch blossee(a slang word for cannabis) and smell like a skunk.
If you think that a blow-up doll is a real woman, I wed a rubber boat, as my wife in a church.
If you hang in the east for respect still, I'm from the middle-east and that's nothing.

That's nothing if you're still looking for the one, I've got so many exes and I blame group-sex for that.
It's nothing that I've got a beautiful shaft, I got a mini-tupé for it and now it's a supermodel.
I'm not bothered that you're your friend's mother. There's finally work for a paper bag and a permanent marker.
And I don't care that you use a condom for birth-control, I've got a picture of myself in my wallet, 'this is what I look like when I cum'

If you saw a UFO once, and are in the X-files, I send text messages to space through drugs.
In amateur porn pistonstar something something, bitches get wetter for me than they would for Ron Jeremy.
If you're a pig of a man, and oppress women. I'm in the pigsty, wrestling with a sow.
You thing it's something when you're the owner of a factory, I'm a proper Führer even though I hang around in my home.

It's nothing if you say you're bored, I make a child's whirlgig say: "Mom, I'm not surprised."
Oh, you have a bad hair day?
I've got a head full of two-branches(?) and a fuckload of lice.
That's nothing, that man suffocates in water. Get the fuck out of my way,
I'm like a submarine.
And that's nothing that your lady has such a tight pussy when my girl's is so tight that even particles can't penetrate her.

If you can jump into a hole in the eyes, I use liquid nitrogen for my relaxing swims.
With a condom and a waste bag you experience your sexytimes, I've got a radiation suit made out of Goretex.
If you smear your face with shoepolish to be black, I stub my cigarette out into a gas tank, to get some fire on my head.
If you molest children and are a pedophile, I find my vibes in the incubator.

It's nothing that Tähkä(A finnish pop artist with a name to do with harvest season) livens his harvest, I pirated his records and tossed them into the bin that reads 'demos'
That's nothing if you go and get drunk, I'm driving on the highway, with a pillow and a blanket.
That's nothing if your hobby is Ultimate, Because of me, you get an hour of (something something can't translate D:)
And it's nothing if you've got all the cards in your hand, on 9/11 I got George's towers in letter-chess.

If you do bad in school because you're representing on the grass (prolly a refenrence to football). In the AA I'm failing my courses.
If you get a workout machine that you're pumping with effort. I lift bimbos as weighs and fuck these women.
It's nothing if you pretend you are cool, In Lady Moon (a finnish mostly 40+ nightclub) I showed of my moves.
If you play a guitar and rock on the stage, I sing in my backyard and cook shit(drugs).

That's nothing, if fat covers your meat, dude is so fat you won the miss wet t-shirt competition.
I travel without paying on train, even though my ticket is still valid, 09 party and Pikku-G(A terrible kiddieish rapper who later went to prison because things) still playing.
Holistically I raise my glass, remembering when I drank my folk's homebrews.
I collect the offerings in church, Mode(The other dude rappin here) with me, I'm so nice, sugardrunk, modern god.

If you're trendy because you bought some new shit. From 'The Silence of The Lambs' I got my idea for my new leather jacket.
That's nothing if you've got a lot of money, I've got many a sacks filled with squirrelskins (squirrel skins were the goto trade good when money wasn't a thing 'round here)
And that's nothing, if you're a pyromaniac, I cause forest fires like it's nothign.
Of a ventriloquist you can clearly see, they're nothing when you've got my hand up your arse.

That's nothing if your grandpa still has his hearing, my grandpa doesn't, since he shot Olof Palme (a fella who was murdered ages ago, case still open) too close to his ear.
It's nothing, if I press play. But when I press 'pause' people scream 'NOOO!'

It's nothing if you're a champion in long-jump. I stride my way forth in life and I'm not a fucking idiot.
If you're a rapper with gold on his neck, I sing humppa (oldpeople music) with gold-bars as earrings.

I pump Iron, dump a cow, pour champagne on a grave.
Push a scoop, later a baby screams.
Neighbours move away, I loop in peace as I make music in my cottage
Christmas is fucked if there are raisins in the Glögg.
It's nothing, if I don't fuck with 'em for no reason but these boys take their trips in safetyseats compared to me.