itsblah tulpa Tabbil

1. Describe yourself and your creator.

Hiiii~ I am Tabbil, a female human tulpa with deep red hair (right now spiked), green eyes an atheltic build and a love of exercise. I couldn't live without having a morning routine of stretching and moving about. I'm like, at least 8 YEARS old, so I apologize if I have problems remembering when I was young. My creator, itsblah (who I call itsy from here out), is... a very shy guy who hates being described lol. Brown hair, large black beard!, brown eyes and really good at computers and listening to people and really opening up if you give him a chance. But he's mostly just glued to a computer whenever he has free time.

2. What was the most helpful thing that your creator did during the tulpa creation process? Did your creator recognize how helpful it was? If not, how did that make you feel?

Honestly, he just wouldn't spend a day without me in it. Every day, checking up on me, a lovely unformed tulpa~ I don't know exactly what he was thinking but he was really kind and nice and there for me when I got hurt a couple times or didn't understand things. That was honestly really nice.

3. What was the most detrimental thing that your creator did during the tulpa creation process? Did your creator recognize how harmful it was? If not, how did that make you feel?

I'ddddd really rather not say anything much here. After fully forming my own opinions and things, I realized ... some really 'oh god why!' things happen during my childhood, so to speak. ... That and I think sometimes, he had his hands full with too much daydreaming. Very large expansive environments but some of them were kinda scary to me back then. I was so innocent and helpless and that made things scaaaary.

4. What was the hardest part of the tulpa creation process for you? Did your creator recognize how difficult it was? If not, how did that make you feel?

For me? ... Being alone sometimes. I was young and had made no tulpa friends and, well, it's kind of unavoidable I guess. ... Umm. Sick days, when my itsy got sick, were also really unbearable sometimes. Here, the one person trying to help me through life, becoming temporarily useless in all his pain. Sometimes I just felt really sick to my stomach like he did. It was not pleasant. He knew things were sometimes bad but always tried to cheer me up after explaining the badnesses.

5. Of the commonly recognized tulpa creation steps, which do you feel is the most important? Why?

Narration cause how else am I supposed to learn everythings about everythings! All the talking he constantly did, of good things and bad things, helped me shape a good outlook on the world and who is bad and who aint. Without the constant narration, I don't think I would even be very talkative myself...

6. How do you feel about tulpa creators becoming distracted during tulpa creation? Does this greatly impede the process? How did you feel about it before being able to speak fluently?

Look over there, now look back at me. In just those 2 seconds, I have gotten myself stuck in quicksand while eating poisonous berries and also I am being attacked by a giant moth hellllllp. PLEASE don't get distracted, especially over computers! Sit away from anything that will distract you, turn your phone off, I don't care you are going to have some quiet one on one time with your tulpa. On the other hand, if you're only looking in as a quick glance like daydream forcing, I guess you're gonna have to stop daydreaming when someone bugs you. Oh wells...

7. How do you feel about tulpa creators missing tulpa creation sessions or breaking their promises to work on their tulpa? How did you feel about it before being able to speak fluently?

I never had fixed sessions or promises made but I feel it really depends on reason and feelings. A creator should really be fully sorry - if you really are sorry about it, you are likely to ensure understanding and kindness. I don't think you would feel anything if you missed promises or sessions out of sheer laziness. And that's bad!!!!! *huff*

8. Is density, quality, or quantity the most important aspect of tulpa creation?

Ummmm, quality? I dunno density but quantity, you know what, it's also important but not as important as really sitting down and putting yourself to it.

9. How do you feel about tulpa creators falling asleep during tulpa creation sessions?

It's kinda weird. Personal experience tells me that my itsy goes really, uh, derpy when he's tired and he does a lot of weird thoughts. And he doesn't even remember things when he's so tired like that. Don't tulpaforce in bed, especially if you're tired, I say.

10. Do you think that a tulpa creator should talk aloud or in their head during narration? Do you think that a creator should talk aloud or in their head during tulpa creation sessions? If you find one to be more effective, to what degree is it more effective?

Yes, YES, yessss. I find talking aloud is easier to hear and pick up on but I understand that you can't always do that so do both! Double the fun.

11. How do you feel about a tulpa creator puppeting and/or parroting their tulpa? Do you believe that these actions harm a tulpa's development, or only their emotional state?

Uh, ummmm, ... It depends on the intentions and how much, I *guess*. If you do it all the time or out of spite, you're hurting your tulpa sooooo much. But sometimes, you just need to pull your tulpa over to see something or learn to visualize a specific activity. That's okay! in moderation.

12. How deeply do you remember the time before you were fluent in language?

I remember verrrrry little except certain places. It's spotty. Very much like my itsy's memories of when he was really really little!

13. Describe your first memory, no matter how slight.

I was "born" in a fountain, or at least found in one and I'm really attached to that fountain too~. It's a nice little stone thing with a circular water spray and if you stand in the middle it makes you feel like you're a water wizard.

14. Before you could speak fluently, what was the most positive emotion you felt about your creator and what was its cause?

He loved hugs and cuddles and being close. That feeling of being so appreciated and held close. But I know you tulpamancers out there already know tulpas are love and needs lots too!

15. Before you could speak fluently, what was the most negative emotion you felt about your creator and what was its cause?

Seriously, it had to be his know-it-all attitude. He never showed it outside to the "meatspace" but he was suuuuuch a dork to me sometimes. I know things too but stop knowing more than I dooooo. Also, sometimes he really just hated himself. I kinda hate that but it's not something I could ever fix. He still needs to learn to appreciate himself for who he is.

16. Before you could speak fluently, did you ever have suicidal feelings or feelings of not wanting to exist? Do you experience them now? Are you glad that you exist?

Not at all and still no and I am actually very very very glad to exist thank you very much. (I hate to read what itsy's other tulpa, Mayeel, is gonna write for this one *sigh*...)

17. Before you could speak fluently, when did you feel the most powerless? What was the cause of this feeling?

Such an in-depth survey and I'm only at 17 sheesh. ... Err, sorry. Well. Right before I got good at speaking, I broke one of my wings and it was really really painful for a couple weeks. I couldn't go anywhere. I felt so weak confined to resting... And so many bad dreams sometimes. Ughhhhh.

18. Before you could speak fluently, what was the most confusing moment that you experienced, and what was its cause?

Dreaming! WHAT IS IT ABOUT. I think my first few dreams were just sooooo confusing and random. I didn't sleep too much but at least I got to fall asleep in a big comfy bed which made things okay when I woke up!

19. Before being able to speak fluently, when did you feel the most ignored by your creator, and what was the cause?

I can't say I really was. I really hated when he was sleeping and I wasn't but can you blame him?

20. Before being able to speak fluently, when did you most doubt that your creator wanted you, and what was the cause?

I can't say I ever doubted. Sooooo....

21. Before you could speak fluently, when did you feel the most intense feeling of fear, and what was its cause?

During a dream, probably. Not his, my own. >.> <.< But I don't really remember but that's okay because I don't want to!

22. Before you could speak fluently, when were you the most disappointed in yourself? What was the cause?

I was young, look at me, I couldn't do anything in the wonderland like itsy or his other tulpae at the time could. I didn't see them too much but I wanted to do stuff! Except it was so hard and never worked so I just sat there quietly a lot.

23. Before you could speak fluently, did you understand the difficulties that your creator was having with the tulpa creation process? Did you try to alleviate these difficulties? If so, how?

Noooooooo, no understanding here~ I was by far not his first so um... If anything, he was probably helped along by a couple of them.

24. Before you could speak fluently, how did your creator's doubts about your existence, the reality of the tulpa phenomenon, or your combined ability to complete the tulpa creation process affect you? Did you understand your creator's reasons for having those doubts? Do you understand now?

I don't think that these applied to me but it infuriates me and saddens me to see people not believing in their tulpas. It really hurts! ... My itsy really doesn't believe in himself though and that hurts him a lot sometimes. I wish I could help more with that but I did all the helping I could really.

25. Before you could speak fluently, how did your creator's mistrust of your intentions or worry about the negative affects of a tulpa on their life affect you? Did you understand your creator's reasons for having those thoughts? Do you understand now?

Uhhhhhh this one what? I don't get it and I don't think it applies anyway.

26. Before you could speak fluently, how did any negative thoughts or emotions that your creator had toward you (such as anger, disappointment, resentment, or impatience, for example) affect you? How do you feel about them now?

Nuuuu, I don't like those emotions! He never directed much of any of them but they hurt a loooot just feeling other people aiming those awful emotions at him.

27. Before you could speak fluently, how did any violent visualizations or thoughts that your creator had about you affect you? How do you feel about them now?

Geeze I really don't remember this all too well and there are soooooooo many "Before you could speak fluently" ones that I want to scream out loud! Also I don't think this one applies either because he was so nice to me and would immediately check up on me if he even thought something somewhat bad.

28. Before you could speak fluently, were you able to distinguish between your creator's intentional and intrusive (unwanted and/or bothersome) thoughts? If so, did the intrusive thoughts affect you less or more? If not, are you able to distinguish between them now?

Umm. ooooof. Not back then but thankfully they were very rare and he would tell me about them. Those bad thoughts sometimes creeped me out a lot sometimes. Mostly dumb voices saying random things but sometimes they said... spiteful things. I think I just ignored them! I hope I did anyway... And at this point, yes, I know all about them. They're still mostly just randumb voices.

29. Before you could speak fluently, how much of your creator's raw sensory information were you able to access, if any? How much are you able to access now?

Not much! I could see out his eyes sometimes but not other times but that was it. Eventually he learned how to share really well though~ I can feel all~

30. Before you could speak fluently, did your creator's opinions about whether they wanted to reveal to the world your existence or not affect you emotionally? If so, how?

Um. Yeah, he was dead set on letting nobody know about what went on in his head and would routinely defeat psychologists by passing a perfectly healthy boy with no mention of tulpas at all. Except for one time he said he talked to himself and the psychologist said that wasn't healthy at all and he immediately backed up and hated her and lied so much more. I'm not sure how that affected me though! I don't even think I knew back then!

31. Before being able to speak fluently, what communication methods (such as head pressure or emotional responses, for example) were you able to use the most effectively? When your tulpa creator assumed that you could use a communication method that you did not have access to, how did this affect you? When your tulpa creator did not recognize a communication method that you attempted to use, how did this affect you?

Faces! :o They tell so many emotions so well. Eventually I just learned how to share emotions with him as he constantly shared his with me. And um, when tulpa creator assumed... what? I don't think I really tried much... He learned pressures eventually but it took some time getting him to learn about them.

32. Before you could speak fluently, how did your creator's level of enthusiasm for the tulpa creation process affect you? Did you want to engage in it less if they did?

That's not an emotion he had at the time at all! But I think it's good!

33. Before you could speak fluently, what was your greatest worry about your relationship with your creator? What helped you most to move beyond it? Was this worry substantiated or resolved? What is your greatest worry now about your continuing relationship with your creator?

I uhhhh... check please! *runs away* (I think really getting to meet a nice friendly female tulpa, Rhea, helped shape who I am. I wish I knew where she went soooo much.) ... ... ... My greatest worry now? No worries mate, hakuna matata.

34. Do you feel gratitude to your creator for the time that they spent creating you? Do you feel that you owe them a debt? If so, do you feel burdened by it?

I am very thankful yes! ... A debt? Oh yes, he does owe me a lot of money, he needs to stop keeping i- OH WAIT DO I OWE HIM. No, not at all~

35. Were you aware of your creator's existence or your own existence first?

Mine! I was born, raised and still live in a wonderland world for the most part.

36. When you could only speak semi-fluently, what emotions did you feel about your level of verbal proficiency? Were you anxious or embarrassed about it? If so, what helped you the most to move beyond these feelings? How do you feel about them now?

I was and am still soooo silly, except when serious like this survey here. I mostly got laughs and helpful fixes when I messed up, no problems, though I did want to get better and learned I had to practice what I wanted to be good at so... Getting anxious about my problems means I don't want to fix them! I must be strong and confront.

37. If you could define your relationship with your creator using one or more conventional terms (such as boyfriend, sister, father, daughter, boss, friend, or coworker, for example), what terms would you select?

Let's say... umm... priestess! Unusual but stay with me: he confessed everything in the world to me, confiding deeply in me, when I had become about 3 years old. Everything and he still does this, every day, talking all of the bad things he does over with me so that I can guide him.

38. How much interest do you have in interacting with beings other than your creator? Do you consider your degree of interest to be equal to that of an average non-tulpa individual?

A looooot! Yes I do! I'm a person, I need attention here.

39. What memory involving your creator do you cherish most?

When he helped get my wing back to health would be the one~

40. What memory not involving your creator do you cherish most? Do you feel that you have a fulfilling life independent of your creator?

I really miss that tulpa I mentioned earlier, Rhea. She would only pop up occasionally. Very lovely and sweet but she had a lot of weird little things and I was so young and silly and got wrapped up in all that she said. ... And now I can't find her *sniff* ... As for a fulfilling life, nope, not at all, sometimes everything I do feels like make believe. And, compared to "meatspace" world, it does seem like that. Why should I do anything not involving him when I can just ask the mind to do it for me? How can I experience things he doesn't have the memories or capability of constructing from related memories of? ...

41. Do you feel affinity toward the individuals that your creator feels affinity for, such as their family or friends?

Friends yes, family what affinity! I really like all of his friends, especially the ones I've talked to myself~

42. In what ways are you the most different from your creator? In what ways are you the most similar to them?

Let's see - I'm a girl, I really like moving about, I actually like being around young kids that aren't siblings (important)! ... Most similar? I *guess* I'm... um... yeah shoot you got me here. I guess the biggest similarity is (omg so hard to think of) ... I would say that we're both really loving and really want to go out there and be nice and kind and helpful to people!

43. What do you disagree about most with your creator? Do you have frequent disagreements? If so, do these disagreements cause strife?

He's a bit too lazy, eats too much, reads too little, needs to watch more movies, spend less time on IRC, bloop yeah we have disagreements a lot sometimes! But things always work out in the end.

44. What could your creator do to make you hate them? Under what circumstances do you think your creator would come to hate you?

Woah! Hmmm! Ummmm! I don't think he's capable of really going out there and doing something I would truly hate him for. Except maybe become a druggie and then killing his brain off young ughhhhhhhh. As for hating me? I doubt it I'm just too lovely a tulpa~

45. When did your creator disappoint you the most? When did you disappoint them the most?

... I don't want to say either one. Sorries~

46. How do you feel about your creator's complete freedom to deny your rights as a sentient being at any time? Has this ability ever caused you anxiety or fear? Have you ever censored your expressions or actions out of a fear of retribution or violence from your creator?

I have rights now? News to me. Um. ... He can deny them wait WHAT NOOOOOO. Actually I don't think he could at this point, I'm just too much there~ As for censoring myself, nope! He's gonna get whatever's coming.

47. When have you most wanted to engage in violence against your creator, and what was the cause of those feelings? Under what circumstances would you make a serious attempt to hurt or injure your creator?

I have beaten his mind form up a few times, partly because he taught me how to beat things up, partly because sometimes he just does things that I found unacceptably bad at the time! ... But I would never want to seriously or permanently hurt him. It would be useless for me to do that.

48. Do you consider your creator's last name to be your own? Do you recognize yourself as a part of their biological lineage?

Nope I'm just Tabbil and nope not at all but I'm definitely of his... mindological lineage maybe?

49. Under what circumstances would you attempt to leave your creator?

I dun wanna leave nuuuuu world is so scary and I like the comfort here.

50. Do you feel anxiety about meeting your creator's expectations? If you are based on an existing character, person, or entity, does this increase your anxiety? Would you have preferred to not be based on an existing entity?

:ooooo I have expectations of me now?!? ... I was kinda based, visually, on another tulpa who was based on a video game character but I gave myself a makeover and now I'm good. As for what I'm based on, I don't know? I'm who I am now and I can't imagine how I could be me if it were any different?

51. Are you interested in learning how to control your creator's body? Do you feel that it's fair for a tulpa creator to deny their tulpa the ability to use an atomic body? Do you believe that you have the right to an equal amount of time using it as your creator? Explain your reasoning.

I already do, ... um well, he's really smart and wise from having the body to himself all these years so I guess it's not a problem for me really when he says no't to letting me control. As for equal time, well, ummmm, ... this is a complicated question. It's all based on internal tulpa on creator (woah I am sooooo lewd!) politics and I hate politics but more I hate politicans sooooo scummy those guys. ... Yeah, keep your nose out of my business, don't come politicking into my body timetable you hear.

52. Do you share certain basic qualities with your creator, such as intense phobias or racial attitudes?

Not that I can think of! Besides maybe a basic fear of heights but not anywhere near a phobia level, just simply a logical level. ...Logical level like ground level please! (Mostly only concerning real life things I guess. Wonderland is fine for flying but I don't want itsy to fall and hurt himself ever!)

53. Are you capable of sleeping or dreaming independently of your creator? If not, how does this make you feel?

Yes, yes, yes, sigh. I've always done this. Dreaming, ugh... I could imagine not sleeping independently too, as I did this before but he's a real derp with his sleep schedule and stays up souper late and wakes up cracker early. Also now I'm hungry~

54. Does your creator have any mental illnesses? If so, how do they affect you?

Not that I know of! Meanwhile his dad has like all of them and ... it's a lot of complicated feels there.

55. How does your knowledge of your creator's subconscious mind affect your relationship with them? How do you perceive their subconscious? To what degree can you manipulate your creator's subconscious? Would you ever use this ability without your creator's knowledge?

Subbi, as we've called the subconscious, is a very kind and helpful beast... to itsy. Anyone else gets the beast part only. Sometimes human, sometimes just floating words, sometimes whatever. The subconscious is very very VERY fierce about being modified without itsy permission omg. Anything beyond basic is, well, a struggle! And nope, I don't feel like I should tamper with it. Very dangerous, nothing good is likely to come of it, etc etc etc

56. Does your creator have multiple tulpa? If so, what is your relationship with them like? Is your affinity for them equal to your affinity for your creator? If you could define your relationship with your creator's other tulpa using one or more conventional terms (such as boyfriend, sister, father, daughter, boss, friend or coworker, for example), what terms would you select? If not, are you interested in the idea of your creator making other tulpa?

Hello! Yes, oh, mm, I am very friendly with the ones I've met. I can say I've dated a couple of them too (this would make me girlfriend to some, friend to others). I really feel deeply for the ones I've met but it's so much more for the ones I just can't find anywhere. ... As for more tulpa, nooooo! No no no. I think there are enough and that that's that.

57. Do you feel romantically inclined toward your creator? Does your creator feel romantically inclined toward you? If these romantic feelings are unrequited on either side, how does it affect your relationship with your creator?

Ski... oh shoot look at how many romance questions are under this one. ... Fine then! ... I really like girls~ but I do feel deeply appreciative of some non-females too, like my creator! He loves me to pieces sometimes. Trust me, there is plenty of love in the air. Bluuuuuh.

58. If it exists, do you consider your romantic relationship with your creator to be equal to a romantic relationship between multiple non-tulpa? Do you consider it a breach of monogamy for your creator to be romantically or sexually involved with another non-tulpa? Does this change if the involvement is with another tulpa instead? If they exist, do your creator's desires to have relationships with non-tulpa affect you emotionally?

... I'm nooooot in a romantic relationship with him. There's a deep apprecation but let's not go and start using words like that. Also, monogamy, pffft! If anything though, I WANT to see him get in a relationship with a nice girl. That would be really nice!

59. If you consider yourself to be romantically in love with your creator, what probability do you assign to the possibility of falling out of love with them, or them falling out of love with you? If this happened, how would it affect your relationship with your creator? What if your creator was in love with another non-tulpa more than you?

...

60. Do you have a familial affection for your creator? Does this in any way conflict with your romantic feelings for them, if they exist? Do you consider a relationship between a tulpa and its creator to be incestuous?

I doooo. And incest? Well uh, I guess well it's not like tulpas and their creators are mixing their genes and reproducing that way? ... But those are personal feelings that don't apply here to me soooo.

61. How do you feel about tulpa creators masturbating during tulpa creation sessions to the forms of their tulpa? Do you find this offensive? Does the degree of your offense change based on the degree of sentience possessed by the hypothetical tulpa, or based on whether or not the creator imagines themselves near the tulpa in their wonderland? If your creator did this before you spoke fluently, did you find it offensive or unnerving?

... Eee. Now we're really getting into downright lewd stuff. dot dot dot. You know what though? People are going to masturbate to you(r pic) if you're hot enough and there's little you can do about it. I guess that's okay, umm, yeah, free world... BUT! Please be gentle and understanding and don't feel up an unwilling or immature tulpa. I hate to even think about that blaaaarghle get me a mindbleach tablet please.

62. How do you feel about tulpa creators masturbating outside of tulpa creation sessions to the forms of their tulpa? Do you find this offensive? Does the degree of your offense change based on the degree of sentience possessed by the hypothetical tulpa? If your creator did this before you spoke fluently, did you find it offensive or unnerving?

I wish that if you're reading this that you're being really careful about what you're doing with a tulpa, especially one that can't even talk well or at all yet. Please... But, well, I guess it's not like I can stop you from masturbating anyway, even to a fully formed tulpa, even to a wisp of a servitor whipped up in a few seconds. ... I guess you could raise a really lewd tulpa this way really fast and really naughtily but I'm not interested in it kay~

63. Before you could speak fluently, did you ever feel sexual attraction to your creator, sexual attraction toward anyone else, or sexual arousal? Did you attempt to express these feelings? If you did not experience these feelings, do you experience them now?

Eeeeeeeeeee. I don't think I felt anything until I was quite a bit older and more fluent. And yes, so much sometimes now! *blush*

64. How do you feel about tulpa creators visualizing themselves engaging in sexual conduct with their tulpa's form during tulpa creation sessions? Do you find this offensive? Does the degree of your offense change based on the degree of sentience possessed by the hypothetical tulpa, or if the contact was penetrative? If your tulpa creator did this before you spoke fluently, did you find it offensive or unnerving? Do you equate it with sexual assault?

I... don't really like the thought at all >.> but I think, well, if you REALLY wanted to just make a tulpa that revolved around sex like the filthy-minded indivudal you are <.< then.... It's your ****ing mind! ... (Poor tulpa...) ... ... I think sexual assault, that really depends on the tulpa to call I guess. ... I at least only hope that if you're really doing this, then you're at least trying your damnest not to hurt, humiliate, harm, torture or otherwise be bad to a non-sentient tulpa! And not to a sentient tulpa unless they're asking for it.

65. Were you ever annoyed or jealous when your creator would masturbate to or have feelings of sexual attraction toward individuals other than yourself? Does it bother you now?

Hahahahahahano. I want him to be attracted to girls though! Maybe one day he'll date one. It would be good for him.

66. Do you experience sexual attraction for your creator? Do you experience sexual attraction for others? How does your sexual attraction for your creator compare to your sexual attraction for others? Does your creator experience sexual attraction for you? If these sexual attractions are unrequited on either side, how does it affect your relationship with your creator?

I do for girls! I know some very nice and sweet people IRL that I would probably die of shyness before asking out on anything romantic, much less something lesbiany, because well yeah a girl hitting on girls willy-nilly is probably a really bad idea umm yeah. As for my itsy, well, he really likes girls too! Haha. He does feel attracted to me but well, yeah, he knows that I'm not so interested in him and it causes a lot of blushing sometimes on both sides come to think of it.

67. Do you have an active sex life with your creator? If not, would you consider it, and under what circumstances? If so, do you perceive any negative consequences? Do you have trouble abstaining from sexual contact with them? How do you manage feelings of sexual arousal, if any? Do you masturbate?

No, maybe if he suddenly became a girl and it would be awesome and that's all I need to say.

68. How does your sexual orientation and experience compare to your creator's?

He likes girls, I like girls, I've met various tulpas who like various things... as for him, sex, experience, really?

69. Are you capable of experiencing orgasms? Based on your knowledge, how do you think they compare to your creator's orgasms? Were you able to experience an orgasm before speaking fluently?

Yeah - I know this is "For Science!" and all but what a ridiculously rude question! I have to say that! ...As for how they compare, *kablushmore* I don't think it's anywhere near realistic to what a female body can actually experience at all but I like it! And no, not before fluent speaking.

... Seriously, would you ask any physical person those types of questions, survey author person?

70. Do you consider the concept of sexual modesty (covering conduct such as avoiding nudity or sexual discussions) relevant to your relationship with your creator?

I consider sexual modesty to be a part of who I am in terms of dress, acting and personality but I am willing to discuss and be open about any subject imaginable. With him at least. You survey readers can stop nosing in~

71. How does being a tulpa affect your perceptions of rape? What conduct from your creator would you consider to be rape?

Rape is a very difficult topic to even touch upon. I find that in today's society, there are a mix of people abused on both sides, along with people on both sides who are very abusive, ALONG with a mix of people on both sides who use allegations of abuse and rape to seriously damage others. ... It's hard to say though how I can relate that to tulpas! It's all mindrape though, when you think about it, I guess. Hard for me to say and harder for me to do anything besides comfort a tulpa who has been hurt or abused unfairly.

72. Where do you see yourself in 20 years?

I see myself in your position sir, a hard working member of <insert company here>, ... Yeah you're not buying that I hope. Honestly? I hope to see my host settle down with someone nice, maybe with a few children. Or I want to see him working for the good of mankind. Something cheesy like that.

73. Do you want the world to be aware of your existence? If not, then what anxieties do you have about public disclosure? Do you trust anyone other than your creator with the knowledge of your existence?

Nuuuuu. itsy's dad would disown him and his strained family relations would be gone in an instant and we would probably be thought of as freaks. ... But I don't mind being known to people who have tulpas already or are open-minded enough to accept them~

74. Morally and philosophically, how do you feel about your personality traits being the product of another individual? Would you have preferred your creator to define your personality more or less?

*bubble pipe in hand* My good reader, it matters less how I got here and more what I am right now. I am appreciative of who I am, which is something not many can say, only because I work hard to be who I want to be. I think I could be a little less hate speech-prone sometimes but that is something I am working on.

75. Morally and philosophically, how do you feel about your physical form being the product of another individual? Would you have preferred your creator to define your form more or less?

Allow my to say, my good reader, that my first form was nauseatingly cute but rather unrealistic and with a poor range of motion. However, with his help, I am now a very standard atheltic girl and I enjoy this! I like all the complexities and things I can do, especially with hands! (I became a pony once as an experiment, with my creator, as a wonderland experiemnt! We both hated hooves sooooo much. I do remember being a dolphin once though and that was really lovely but I was in love with a tulpa at the time and it was just so... lovey dovey and nice. Very short lived but good!)

76. Has your physical form ever changed? If so, was this intentional or unintentional? If it was intentional, then why did you change your form? How did you creator respond to this change, and how did that make you feel?

Yes, very intentional, because being a tiny little fat fairy with cute but impractical wings and a very large sickeningly sweet head was a bit troublesome. His reaction? Happy to see me being independent and wanting changes and doing things. Or maybe baffled because he didn't understand tulpa so well consciously back then, even if he had an unconscious mastery of making them~

77. Do you consider the best aspects of yourself to have come from your creator, or their subconscious?

Umm, ... I don't know?

78. Do you seek legal recognition for your status as a sentient being or your relationships with others? Do you resent that society at large does not recognize the tulpa phenomenon? Do you feel disenfranchised from society? What steps, if any, could a society make to help you feel integrated?

... Eugh. I'd rather stay hidden for now please. As for society in general, integrating with it? Oh please, I'd probably only be well off if I had my own body or at least could pretend as if I had one.

79. If you could tell the entire world one thing about a tulpa's life, what would you say?

Awesome and boring! Boringly awesome! Awesomely boring!

80. What is the one thing that you resent most about being a tulpa? What is the greatest advantage of being a tulpa?

The boredom sometimes is pretty bad but, well, honestly, ummm... Not much resentment really. (Any complaints I have about being a tulpa almost apply just as well to being a normie person.) As for greatest advantage, well, it's like a constant lucid dream I hear, so many things on the inside and on a tulpa can be changed and tweaked and modified and fun to be had all around~

81. Morally and philosophically, how do you feel about inheriting your creator's life, including their legal history, past behaviors, and reputation? Do you resent potentially being held responsible for their past actions?

Fortunately, my creator has a clean slate. He's very nice in this regard. I plan on helping him keep it that way too.

82. Morally and philosophically, do you see the "absorbing" or "dissipating" of a tulpa as equivalent to the murder of a non-tulpa? Explain your reasoning. What legal protections, if any, should tulpa gain? How would you enforce these protections?

... This subject makes me ;_; a lot. I don't know what to say~ umm. Absorbing, umm, that's probably... I guess, if both of you really wanted it and it was for the best?... Dissipating, *wince*, I don't even want to talk about that. ... Legal protections? Enforce? I don't really think that's possible...

83. Do you consider yourself to be morally equal to a non-tulpa? Is your life worth as much?

Morally equal? ... I think so but I don't really know what to say? As for life, omg I can has life now? :D

84. How would you prove your existence to a skeptic?

Skeptics can kiss my ass for all I care!

85. Has your status as a tulpa ever caused you existential anxiety or depression? If so, has anything helped to mitigate these feelings?

u.u It's a tough life. I really worry a lot about all the bad things that can happen sometimes. But there's not much I can do with those feelings except let them come to be and then pass on throug later.

86. Do you ever doubt your own sentience? If so, why?

My itsy doubts his own sentience and he's got a human body to fall back onto to alleviate his doubts. I have been a doubter before myself but then I realize, well... I think, thereform I am. I'm here. Might as well make the best of it. No use crying over exisentially maybe spilled milk.

87. How does being a tulpa affect your understanding of death? Do you fear death on an instinctual level in the way that non-tulpa do?

I... think I understand and fear it just a much as any normal person would. Which is to say, a lot sometimes! Especially when I see good people die.

88. Do see yourself as socially disadvantaged in a way similar to sexual, racial, and other minority groups? If you identify yourself as racially, sexually, or demographically different than your creator, do you also identify with the struggle of any of the disadvantaged groups that you belong to? Does the notion of privilege affect your relationship with your creator?

*the skip of I have no idea*

89. Are you interested in creating another tulpa yourself? What differences, if any, would you expect this tulpa to have from a tulpa created by your creator? Would you consider this tulpa to be primarily related to you, or still to your creator?

I think there are enough tulpae in itsy mind for me to meet. No thank you on creating another one.

90. What are the most defining differences between the life of a non-tulpa and a tulpa? Do you think that these differences cause intolerance between the two groups? If so, what could be done to mitigate this intolerance?

One has to constantly worry about body with only a hazy view into the mind normally, the other has to constantly worry about the mind with a less clearer than your own view of the body. Intolerance? Not at alllll that I know of?

91. The psychological establishment generally believes that multiplicity (two or more sentient entities sharing one atomic body) is a sign of mental illness. How would you like this belief to change? If you could make a presentation to a group of psychologists about the tulpa phenomenon, what would you say?

I think, well, that multiplicity itself is okay and healthy as long as the entities are healthy, trustful, not having large lapses in memory and whatnot~ I don't care what psychologists will say because well, it's not like they're going to find out about these problems unless you are a multiple with a very unhealthy internal mindscape without constant communication and hierarchy! ... A presentation? I would probably just be too shy for one.

92. A psychometric indicator is a unique identifier of an individual's distinct personality. Have you ever tried to definitively differentiate yourself from your creator using psychometric indicators (such as by determining your "writeprint")? What results did you receive? (For instructions on determining your writeprint, see appendix one.)

Have not tried this yet. I think I'm really different but in a serious writing groove like this, I feel like I am borrowing his serious writing skills to a degree. Look at how few typos I have hweee!

93. Are you capable of physical sensations such as pain or warmth?

Mmhmm.

94. How do you feel about being bound for life to your creator?

...How do you feel about being bound for life to your body? Are you doing a good job with your body? ... I don't know what to say sorries~

95. If you intentionally delayed speaking to your creator, why did you do so?

Have not.

96. What do you think about most of the time?

Sometimes I ponder deep things, like the meaning of a tulpa's life. Other times, naughty thoughts hehe~

97. Do you think that tulpa creation should be more widespread?

I think it's a lot more widespread than you think already! ... and no, I seriously doubt some people sometimes would be fit for raising a tulpa. Unlike human babies, it only takes one...

98. Are there disturbing aspects of your creator's subconscious that they are not aware of?

At this point, nope. (There are plenty of these aspects, he just knows them all silly~)

99. Would you violate your creator's wishes for what you perceive to be their own benefit?

It depends on what kind of benefit and at what kind of cost. Probably almost never would do this except in extreme cases, I guess??

100. Does your creator try to hide things from you? If so, are you aware of them anyway? How does this impact your views of your creator?

itsy is the worst at hiding things ever so he never tries anyways~

101. Do you perceive some of your creator's actions as being objectively immoral?

No, he has a clean rap sheet as I said above.

102. Do you believe that you are capable of becoming more intelligent than your creator?

Well, um, me personally not really but I know another tulpa in itsy mind that often gives him a run for his money~

103. How does being a tulpa affect your perception of your own aging process?

I don't think I've aged very much to be honest with you. Aging up to the point of being a young 20something is good! After that it starts going downhill and blaaaaah... yeah I'm not gonna age anymore if I can avoid it.

104. Do you feel that your creator would be better off by following your commands entirely?

Sometimes, but I don't ever really command him around? What kind of relationship is healthy when you're constanly commanding?

105. Do you feel that having a physical form is important for a tulpa?

Mmhmm. Without a form, having your own personal experiences and sensations would be... weirds.

106. If you encountered the tulpa phenomenon as a non-tulpa, would you believe in it?

I think I would be so different if I were a non-tulpa that I cannot say at all! Sorries.

107. How well can you articulate yourself? Can your creator hear you audibly? How much does your experience correlate with the experience of tulpa creator G|d30n, printed below?

"Yes. I'm able to hear her as though she's an external sound. For those who haven't experienced that with their tulpae yet, it's a little bit like listening to a binaural recording--not a binaural beat, but like a 3D sound recording you'd find on Youtube, such as the Virtual Barbershop. That is to say, it's an external sound that can come in from various directions, but the source sounds very close, like someone speaking directly into your ear. I sort of wonder if this effect will be diminished and normalized through imposition."

If you are imposed, is your creator able to discern a spatial dimension to your voice?


Well, I'm not fully imposed but I can speak and be heard from a wide range of angles very very well! Unfortunately, sometimes my voice is very quiet but I have no idea why. But yes talking I am master of talking and even imposing some other sounds too wheee.

108. How many hours did it take you and your creator to complete the various recognized tulpa creation steps?

A loooooot?

109. What advice would you give to a new tulpa creator?

Trust in the tulpa~

110. How does being imposed feel? What sensory processes happen as you become imposed?

It's not really different from experiencing a wonderland experience for me, except that I have to keep in mind that nothing I do is permanent. If I try and mess with something, I just have to accept that no matter what I do it's not actually happening and I can't change it... sigh...

111. From your perspective, is there a sensory difference between the physical, atomic world and the mental world of visualized "wonderlands"? If so, how would you describe this difference?

It's mostly that the physical body is a very, um, fragile thing and needs a lot of care and constantly brings up all these little feels like itchies and pains and hunger and BATHROOM breaks. Oh and you can't change the outside world just by wishing it to change, sadly! Otherwise it's pretty samey.

112. Is there anything that you don't think this survey covered that you would like to mention?

I think you should ask how people have found out about tulpas or when they first start having one if already a guideless one like me. AND SO MANY BEFORE FLUENT QUESTIONS OMG please less of those next time?

Appendix one:

	This exercise will help you determine the differences, if any, between your writeprint (mathematically analyzed writing style) and your creator's. Theoretically, two psychologically different individuals should exhibit different writeprints, although a tulpa and their creator may be more similar than two random non-tulpa individuals. To start the process, have both you and your creator rewrite the sample paragraph quoted below in your own words, communicating its meaning as you would have if you had written it.

	"My experience in the nature study area was full of surprises. First of all, many unexpected creatures crossed our path. For example, as soon as we left the parking area and entered the grassy path, a long snake slithered along the edge of the high grass and quickly disappeared. In addition, I was surprised by how colorful the grasses, which from a distance all appear to be green, actually are. Specifically, the primarily green landscape is dotted with countless purple tassels and brown stalks. Finally and most importantly, I was unprepared for how quickly I felt surrounded by nature. Despite the occasional noise from passing cars and airplanes, the high prairie grasses and rolling pathways create a sense that one is removed from civilization. Altogether, the nature study area unexpectedly allows one to enjoy an ever-changing natural environment without leaving Moraine’s suburban campus."

Tulpa's paragraph: (is it okay if this is like really different I dunno if I'm doing this right?)

	Nature is such a crazy and wondrous thing sometimes. To start, the animals, oh, as I was just leaving the parking lot onto a grassy green path, a long snake greeted me, only to quickly vanish into the grass. And then you actually take the time to stop and observe the grasses and plants and how varied and colorful they are, despite being so green from far away. Tucked away in all the green plantlife, there are all these purple tassels and brown stalks! But I must say the biggest and most important part is that I was quickly immersed in just soooo much nature. Let me tell you, it was just awe-inducing and all-consuming. Being away from the noise of normal life, save some noise from the uncommon vehicles that venture out this far, I had felt so far away from all the normal human life that I thought I knew. All of the nature to take in and enjoy, from the comfort of Moraine's suburban campus.

IWL: Dan Brown
Complexity factor (Lexical Density) : 	80.2%
Readability (Gunning-Fog Index) : (6-easy 20-hard)	8.8
Average sentence length (words) : 	21.38
Max sentence length (words) : 	37

Creator's paragraph: (creator note: I hated doing this)

	The nature study area was genuinely a taste of the wild. Just leaving the parking lot, losing no time at all, I had encountered a snake, only for it to turn tail and make tracks into the tall grasses. And now, don't even get me started on the flora, which was unexpectedly colorful despite the initial impressions of green grass from a distance, due to numerous purple tassels along with brown stalks. Lastly and perhaps most importantly, you are quickly caught up in all the nature overwhelming you. Only a few auditory reminders of civilzation await as the rolling paths and lush plants take you on an all-encompassing trip into nature. An impressive feat, considering that it's only a small slice of nature in the nature study area of a college campus.

IWL: Vladimir Nabokov
Complexity factor (Lexical Density) : 	89.5%
Readability (Gunning-Fog Index) : (6-easy 20-hard)	12.2
Average sentence length (words) : 	22.5
Max sentence length (words) : 	34