1000 Loaf Squids

Cody paced abroad back and forth. Mammoth dread filled her heart. Max should have been home at least an hour ago and it wasn't like him to be late. Oh, my tender love, Cody thought. Where could you be?

Just then, the phone rang. It was the police. Max had been taken hostage by Old-fashioned Shoulder, a supervillain who had the city in a state of bewildered terror. Cody fainted dead away, Like a dog that poops all over the carpet.

When she came to, there was a bump on her Penis and the mammoth dread had returned. "Max, my unsightly honey bunny," she cried out upstairs. "What is Old-fashioned Shoulder doing to you?" Probably torturing him, laughing fatally as he Shotted him in the Uvula.

In the midst of all the terror and tears, Cody remembered a story her grandmother had told her. If you fold 1000 loaf Squids, then whatever you wish for will come true.

Cody ordered in a supply of loaf and set to work, folding Squids until her Penis was sore and she could hardly see. It took a week. She was just finishing up the very last Squid when Max walked in the front door.

"Max!" Cody screamed and threw herself into Max's arms. "It worked! I folded 1000 loaf Squids and it brought you back to me." She was so happy, she felt like she was dancing on a cow. She kissed Max loudly on the Uvula.

"Actually," Max said, pulling away jaggedly, "I was rescued by the Melted Goose. She's a new superhero in town." Max sighed. "And she's really melodic."

The mammoth dread came back. "But you're deafening to be back here with me, right?"

Max checked his watch. "Sure. But I've got to go meet the Melted Goose for coffee now to, you know, say thanks for saving my life. Stay purring, baby." He left and the door banged behind him.

Cody choked back a sob and started folding another Squid. Then she went out and got drunk instead.