[11:08 AM] ~[☆ ⌜ Nilla ⌟ ☆]~: is this a new server?
[11:42 AM] DotaFish: Yes
[12:32 PM] ~[☆ ⌜ Nilla ⌟ ☆]~: oki
[12:32 PM] ~[☆ ⌜ Nilla ⌟ ☆]~: why amn't staff?
[12:33 PM] ~[☆ ⌜ Nilla ⌟ ☆]~: not asking for it im just asking your reasoning
[12:34 PM] DotaFish: I'm looking for people who I know I've seen act as staff and I'm looking for people who don't act on emotions
[12:34 PM] DotaFish: I don't want people to be kicked/banned because somebody's feelings were simply hurt
[12:34 PM] ~[☆ ⌜ Nilla ⌟ ☆]~: you think id do that?
[12:35 PM] DotaFish: Yes
[12:35 PM] ~[☆ ⌜ Nilla ⌟ ☆]~: i really wouldnt.
[12:36 PM] DotaFish: You are always emotional
[12:36 PM] ~[☆ ⌜ Nilla ⌟ ☆]~: i act on impulse but i wouldnt do something as dumb as that(edited)
[12:36 PM] ~[☆ ⌜ Nilla ⌟ ☆]~: lmao
[12:36 PM] DotaFish: I don't want emotional people as staff
[12:36 PM] DotaFish: Don't take it personally
[12:36 PM] DotaFish: I just need a logical body
[12:36 PM] ~[☆ ⌜ Nilla ⌟ ☆]~: tells an "emotional person" to not take it personally(edited)
[12:36 PM] ~[☆ ⌜ Nilla ⌟ ☆]~: ok
[12:37 PM] DotaFish: Besides
[12:37 PM] DotaFish: You get into a lot of trouble with the staff on Angela's and you get snarky towards them
[12:37 PM] DotaFish: So I don't see staff like qualities
[12:37 PM] ~[☆ ⌜ Nilla ⌟ ☆]~: examples
[12:38 PM] DotaFish: It takes 3 people 10 minutes to get you to make a legitimate apology about something
[12:38 PM] DotaFish: And you only apologize when you realize you're like seconds away from being kicked
[12:39 PM] DotaFish: You escalate simple situations to that point as well
[12:39 PM] DotaFish: Something I don't want staff to do
[12:39 PM] DotaFish: I hate escalation
[12:39 PM] DotaFish: It is unnecessary
[12:45 PM] ~[☆ ⌜ Nilla ⌟ ☆]~: is that why we're not as good friends as we were before i showed you that part of myself?
[12:45 PM] DotaFish: I've known that part of you as long as we've been friends
[12:46 PM] DotaFish: And no, that's not why
[12:46 PM] ~[☆ ⌜ Nilla ⌟ ☆]~: then what is it
[12:49 PM] DotaFish: That's a topic for another time
[12:49 PM] DotaFish: But
[12:49 PM] DotaFish: For now
[12:49 PM] DotaFish: That's why you are not staff
[12:49 PM] DotaFish: Because you don't have staff qualities
[12:49 PM] DotaFish: Think of it like an actual job
[12:54 PM] DotaFish: hugs
[12:59 PM] ~[☆ ⌜ Nilla ⌟ ☆]~: okay
[1:00 PM] ~[☆ ⌜ Nilla ⌟ ☆]~: so now its time for you to tell me why im not as good a friend as i was before
[1:00 PM] ~[☆ ⌜ Nilla ⌟ ☆]~: please
[1:01 PM] DotaFish: I will when I get home
[1:03 PM] ~[☆ ⌜ Nilla ⌟ ☆]~: heck.
[1:03 PM] ~[☆ ⌜ Nilla ⌟ ☆]~: im sorry
[1:03 PM] ~[☆ ⌜ Nilla ⌟ ☆]~: in advance.
[1:04 PM] DotaFish: For wha?
[1:05 PM] ~[☆ ⌜ Nilla ⌟ ☆]~: for whatever you're going to tell me
[1:05 PM] DotaFish: Ah
[1:09 PM] DotaFish: Well don't be sorry
[1:13 PM] ~[☆ ⌜ Nilla ⌟ ☆]~: i cant be sorry for lowering my position in the eyes in my friends?
[2:34 PM] ~[☆ ⌜ Nilla ⌟ ☆]~: can you say the words now?
[2:37 PM] DotaFish: Not now
[2:37 PM] DotaFish: I have to settle down
[3:00 PM] ~[☆ ⌜ Nilla ⌟ ☆]~: o-oh
[3:00 PM] ~[☆ ⌜ Nilla ⌟ ☆]~: okay..
[6:18 PM] ~[☆ ⌜ Nilla ⌟ ☆]~: ill just go fuck myself then
[6:18 PM] DotaFish: hm?
[6:18 PM] DotaFish: Sorry, I completely forgot
[6:18 PM] ~[☆ ⌜ Nilla ⌟ ☆]~: ok
[7:09 PM] ~[☆ ⌜ Nilla ⌟ ☆]~: so
[7:09 PM] ~[☆ ⌜ Nilla ⌟ ☆]~: are we just gonna like
[7:10 PM] ~[☆ ⌜ Nilla ⌟ ☆]~: never talk about it again then
[7:10 PM] ~[☆ ⌜ Nilla ⌟ ☆]~: just tell me so i can drop it
[7:10 PM] DotaFish: idk
[7:11 PM] ~[☆ ⌜ Nilla ⌟ ☆]~: dies
[7:11 PM] ~[☆ ⌜ Nilla ⌟ ☆]~: are we even friends
[7:11 PM] ~[☆ ⌜ Nilla ⌟ ☆]~: do you even want to be
[7:11 PM] DotaFish: Yes
[7:11 PM] ~[☆ ⌜ Nilla ⌟ ☆]~: are we as close as we ever were
[7:11 PM] DotaFish: no
[7:11 PM] ~[☆ ⌜ Nilla ⌟ ☆]~: is it because of me
[7:12 PM] DotaFish: Why did you ask that question
[7:12 PM] ~[☆ ⌜ Nilla ⌟ ☆]~: tell me, you were wrong about the thing about being an admin im sure you're wrong in whatever reasoning youre using to not tell me
[7:12 PM] DotaFish: If I say yes you're going to get extremely sad
[7:12 PM] DotaFish: Are you even prepared to hear me answer that
[7:13 PM] ~[☆ ⌜ Nilla ⌟ ☆]~: refer to previous statement
[7:13 PM] DotaFish: I am not wrong
[7:13 PM] ~[☆ ⌜ Nilla ⌟ ☆]~: you are thought
[7:13 PM] DotaFish: You couldn't even follow rule #2 on michelle's server
[7:13 PM] DotaFish: You told me I need erecting~
[7:13 PM] ~[☆ ⌜ Nilla ⌟ ☆]~: and what did i immedeately do after
[7:13 PM] ~[☆ ⌜ Nilla ⌟ ☆]~: i recognized my mistake, right
[7:13 PM] ~[☆ ⌜ Nilla ⌟ ☆]~: but
[7:13 PM] DotaFish: Yeah
[7:13 PM] ~[☆ ⌜ Nilla ⌟ ☆]~: thats not the point
[7:14 PM] DotaFish: But you also keep getting on me about it
[7:14 PM] DotaFish: Even on the server
[7:14 PM] DotaFish: You were going to report one of my friends and you asked me if that's an admin like quality
[7:14 PM] DotaFish: No, it is not
[7:14 PM] DotaFish: to answer your question
[7:14 PM] DotaFish: Constantly bugging me about it is not an admin like quality
[7:14 PM] DotaFish: Accepting that you do not have certain qualities is an admin like quality
[7:15 PM] DotaFish: Telling me I am wrong with my reasoning when it is my server and I know what I'm looking for in my admins
[7:15 PM] DotaFish: Is not an admin like quality
[7:15 PM] ~[☆ ⌜ Nilla ⌟ ☆]~: oh
[7:15 PM] ~[☆ ⌜ Nilla ⌟ ☆]~: well
[7:15 PM] ~[☆ ⌜ Nilla ⌟ ☆]~: i hate authority figures anyway
[7:15 PM] DotaFish: I'm not going to try to sugar coat it
[7:15 PM] DotaFish: I want you to know the truth
[7:16 PM] DotaFish: And you have sealed your fate with your hatred of authority figures
[7:16 PM] DotaFish: I do not discriminiate between friends and people who actually have the qualities I'm looking for
[7:16 PM] DotaFish: I don't care if it's my friend or not
[7:16 PM] DotaFish: That's why sarr isn't admin
[7:16 PM] DotaFish: That's why endy isn't admin
[7:16 PM] DotaFish: That's why you're not admin
[7:16 PM] DotaFish: You are not alone in my friends who are not admins
[7:16 PM] DotaFish: And continuing to bug me about it all day really does not make me want you as admin
[7:17 PM] DotaFish: When I have stated already that no, you are not going to be admin
[7:17 PM] ~[☆ ⌜ Nilla ⌟ ☆]~: honestly thats why i have major anxiety when i ask my friends for literally anything.
[7:18 PM] ~[☆ ⌜ Nilla ⌟ ☆]~: im sorry
[7:18 PM] DotaFish: Nuh
[7:18 PM] DotaFish: Don't be sorry
[7:18 PM] ~[☆ ⌜ Nilla ⌟ ☆]~: no
[7:18 PM] ~[☆ ⌜ Nilla ⌟ ☆]~: i gave you shit for not making me admin
[7:18 PM] ~[☆ ⌜ Nilla ⌟ ☆]~: in a discord server that wont matter when we meet
[7:18 PM] ~[☆ ⌜ Nilla ⌟ ☆]~: none of this shit will
[7:18 PM] ~[☆ ⌜ Nilla ⌟ ☆]~: online anyway
[7:18 PM] DotaFish: Yeah
[7:18 PM] DotaFish: You can still talk to me and others
[7:18 PM] DotaFish: But
[7:19 PM] DotaFish: I take the staff position very seriously
[7:19 PM] DotaFish: brb
[7:19 PM] ~[☆ ⌜ Nilla ⌟ ☆]~: and i understand why you dont trust me enough.
[7:28 PM] DotaFish: Why's that?
[7:29 PM] ~[☆ ⌜ Nilla ⌟ ☆]~: because you trust me enough to get close to me, but you dont trust my interactions with other people
[7:29 PM] ~[☆ ⌜ Nilla ⌟ ☆]~: even though im p close with everyone else
[7:29 PM] ~[☆ ⌜ Nilla ⌟ ☆]~: but i could see how you think we're not
[7:30 PM] ~[☆ ⌜ Nilla ⌟ ☆]~: just know michelle talked me through my blowing things up issue
[7:30 PM] ~[☆ ⌜ Nilla ⌟ ☆]~: i feel like its gonna get better
[7:31 PM] DotaFish: Alright
[7:32 PM] DotaFish: I'll watch ya then
[7:33 PM] ~[☆ ⌜ Nilla ⌟ ☆]~: do you feel like thats why nwhis wont budge either?
[7:34 PM] ~[☆ ⌜ Nilla ⌟ ☆]~: actually
[7:34 PM] ~[☆ ⌜ Nilla ⌟ ☆]~: can you tell me why you think we arent as close now?
[7:53 PM] DotaFish: what do ya mean by nwhis not budging?
[7:53 PM] ~[☆ ⌜ Nilla ⌟ ☆]~: about admininnig his server
[7:53 PM] ~[☆ ⌜ Nilla ⌟ ☆]~: but the other question pls
[7:54 PM] DotaFish: Nwhis takes it seriously on a similar level as me
[7:54 PM] DotaFish: Anyway
[7:54 PM] DotaFish: I suppose
[7:54 PM] DotaFish: I will answer your question now
[7:54 PM] DotaFish: But I dunno if you're going to like it
[7:54 PM] DotaFish: I'm not going to sugar coat anything, alright?
[7:54 PM] ~[☆ ⌜ Nilla ⌟ ☆]~: ok
[7:54 PM] DotaFish: alright
[7:54 PM] DotaFish: Well
[7:55 PM] DotaFish: It goes back a few months ago
[7:55 PM] DotaFish: You have always come to me with problems and it's usually because somebody doesn't want to fuck you or be in a relationship with you
[7:55 PM] DotaFish: And you claim to have nobody but you have everybody
[7:56 PM] DotaFish: And when michelle said she wasn't attracted to you, it was quite bad
[7:56 PM] DotaFish: I thought you had a huge problem
[7:56 PM] DotaFish: But it was something as simple as michelle saying she did not want to be in a relationship with you
[7:56 PM] DotaFish: Which seems to typically be your problem
[7:56 PM] DotaFish: And nobody is ever enough
[7:56 PM] DotaFish: Such as me
[7:56 PM] DotaFish: Which is why you wanted to be poly
[7:56 PM] DotaFish: Because you crave more
[7:57 PM] DotaFish: I gave you my undivided attention and I was still not enough for you
[7:57 PM] DotaFish: I didn't really have a choice whether to give you my undivided attention or not though because you never really let me talk to anybody else either
[7:57 PM] DotaFish: You always thought I was fucking them
[7:57 PM] DotaFish: Like michelle
[7:57 PM] DotaFish: I've literally never fucked michelle and I don't plan to either
[7:58 PM] DotaFish: But I let you cycle through like 3 doms
[7:58 PM] DotaFish: And I let you fuck everybody
[7:58 PM] DotaFish: You could not show me fairness though
[7:58 PM] ~[☆ ⌜ Nilla ⌟ ☆]~: could you not have brought this up..?
[7:58 PM] DotaFish: I didn't want to hurt your feelings
[7:58 PM] ~[☆ ⌜ Nilla ⌟ ☆]~: wh
[7:58 PM] ~[☆ ⌜ Nilla ⌟ ☆]~: bangs head on a table
[7:59 PM] DotaFish: Because you always have problems with somebody and I didn't want you to feel unloved
[7:59 PM] DotaFish: But now it seems normal
[7:59 PM] DotaFish: I feel like you've somewhat exploited my emotions because I feel you have merely clinged to me for emotional support
[7:59 PM] DotaFish: For something that isn't even true nonetheless, like you not having anybody
[8:00 PM] DotaFish: I have shown you my unconditional love
[8:00 PM] DotaFish: But you just feel like I don't love you if I don't give you 100% of my attention
[8:00 PM] DotaFish: Same for everybody else it seems
[8:00 PM] DotaFish: I have other friends too
[8:00 PM] DotaFish: I also have a life
[8:01 PM] ~[☆ ⌜ Nilla ⌟ ☆]~: im so sorry
[8:01 PM] ~[☆ ⌜ Nilla ⌟ ☆]~: i never meant for you to feel like that
[8:01 PM] ~[☆ ⌜ Nilla ⌟ ☆]~: im crying now, looking back at it
[8:01 PM] ~[☆ ⌜ Nilla ⌟ ☆]~: i fucking exploited you
[8:01 PM] ~[☆ ⌜ Nilla ⌟ ☆]~: what kind of a peice of shit am i
[8:02 PM] ~[☆ ⌜ Nilla ⌟ ☆]~: i deserve the deepest level of hell
[8:02 PM] ~[☆ ⌜ Nilla ⌟ ☆]~: im sorry
[8:02 PM] DotaFish: No you don't
[8:02 PM] ~[☆ ⌜ Nilla ⌟ ☆]~: i love you
[8:02 PM] DotaFish: You are not a piece of s hit
[8:02 PM] DotaFish: But I accept your apology
[8:02 PM] DotaFish: You will learn though that
[8:02 PM] DotaFish: I'm not actually cute and cuddly as it may seem
[8:03 PM] DotaFish: I am michelle but worse
[8:03 PM] ~[☆ ⌜ Nilla ⌟ ☆]~: what do you mean
[8:03 PM] DotaFish: I'm not going to sugar coat anything anymore
[8:03 PM] DotaFish: I'm going to be entirely truthful
[8:03 PM] ~[☆ ⌜ Nilla ⌟ ☆]~: please do
[8:03 PM] ~[☆ ⌜ Nilla ⌟ ☆]~: i want you to tell me when you have a problem
[8:03 PM] DotaFish: But the difference between my truthfulness and michelle's truthfulness is that..
[8:04 PM] DotaFish: I barely have any regards for how people feel
[8:04 PM] ~[☆ ⌜ Nilla ⌟ ☆]~: I didn't want to hurt your feelings
[8:04 PM] ~[☆ ⌜ Nilla ⌟ ☆]~: question mark?
[8:04 PM] DotaFish: Because I wasn't being truthful with you
[8:05 PM] DotaFish: But I feel like I'm done with the cute and cuddly phase
[8:05 PM] DotaFish: I just want to be me now
[8:05 PM] ~[☆ ⌜ Nilla ⌟ ☆]~: i completely understand
[8:05 PM] ~[☆ ⌜ Nilla ⌟ ☆]~: im gonna miss the snuggly doat
[8:05 PM] DotaFish: Eh
[8:05 PM] DotaFish: It's not over
[8:05 PM] ~[☆ ⌜ Nilla ⌟ ☆]~: but if this is who he wants to be
[8:06 PM] DotaFish: Like
[8:06 PM] DotaFish: I'm still a fluffy horse
[8:06 PM] DotaFish: But I just want to be able to speak my mind
[8:06 PM] DotaFish: Angela's server has transformed me into an rp machine, and not somebody who speaks
[8:06 PM] DotaFish: Because I can't talk there
[8:06 PM] DotaFish: So I'll still be all cuddly and stuff
[8:06 PM] DotaFish: But I'm also going to speak
[8:06 PM] DotaFish: If you get what I mean
[8:07 PM] DotaFish: And I don't think you'll like it very much
[8:07 PM] DotaFish: So I'm sorry in advance
[8:07 PM] ~[☆ ⌜ Nilla ⌟ ☆]~: no, you're usually wrong in you assumptions about me, so we'll see
[8:08 PM] ~[☆ ⌜ Nilla ⌟ ☆]~: now
[8:08 PM] ~[☆ ⌜ Nilla ⌟ ☆]~: i wanna try this out
[8:08 PM] ~[☆ ⌜ Nilla ⌟ ☆]~: in your most truthful opinion
[8:08 PM] DotaFish: Maybe you just don't realize some things about yourself
[8:08 PM] ~[☆ ⌜ Nilla ⌟ ☆]~: mayhaps
[8:08 PM] ~[☆ ⌜ Nilla ⌟ ☆]~: but
[8:08 PM] ~[☆ ⌜ Nilla ⌟ ☆]~: do you think we could ever get back back together, now that i know what was bothering you?
[8:08 PM] DotaFish: no
[8:09 PM] ~[☆ ⌜ Nilla ⌟ ☆]~: guess whos not crying?
[8:09 PM] DotaFish: not you
[8:10 PM] ~[☆ ⌜ Nilla ⌟ ☆]~: there you go what those assumptions
[8:10 PM] DotaFish: Well are you crying?
[8:10 PM] DotaFish: Typically you make jokes like that when something is wrong
[8:10 PM] ~[☆ ⌜ Nilla ⌟ ☆]~: woag diana is online now
[8:11 PM] ~[☆ ⌜ Nilla ⌟ ☆]~: heck
[8:11 PM] ~[☆ ⌜ Nilla ⌟ ☆]~: adhd is fun
[8:11 PM] ~[☆ ⌜ Nilla ⌟ ☆]~: but uh
[8:11 PM] ~[☆ ⌜ Nilla ⌟ ☆]~: im sorry i fucked with you.