My beloved and close one, shalom u’vracha!
Your letter has reached my hand, and your words have reached my heart.
You should know, my close one, that the existence of your letter disagrees with all of the descriptions contained
within it. I will explain to you the meaning of this sentence.
A failing many of us suffer is that when we focus on the ultimate level of attainments of great people, we discuss
how they are complete in this or that area while omitting mention of the inner struggles that had previously raged
within them. A listener would get the impression that these individuals came out of the hand of their Creator in
full-blown ideal form.
Everyone is awed at the purity of speech of the Chofetz Chaim, considering it a miraculous phenomenon. But who
knows of the battles, struggles and obstacles, the slumps and regressions that the Chofetz Chaim encountered in
his war with the yetzer hara? There are many such examples, to which a discerning individual such as yourself
can certainly apply the rule.
The result of this failing is that when an ambitious young man of spirit and enthusiasm meets obstacles, falls and
slumps, he imagines himself as unworthy of being “planted in the house of Hashem”. According to this young
man’s fancy, flourishing in the house of Hashem means to repose with calm spirit on “lush meadows” beside
“tranquil waters” [Tehilim 23] delighting in the yetzer hatov, in the manner of the righteous delighting in the
reflection of the Shechinah, with crowns on their heads, gathered in Gan Eden. And at the same time, untroubled
by the agitation of the yetzer hara, along the lines of the verse “Free among the dead” [Tehilim 88].
Know however, my dear friend, that your soul is rooted not in the the tranquility of the yetzer tov, but rather in the
battle of the yetzer tov. And your precious, warm-hearted letter “testifies as one hundred witnesses” that you are a
worthy warrior in the battalion of the yetzer tov. The English expression “lose a battle and win a war” applies.
Certainly, you have stumbled and you will stumble again (a self-fulfilling prophecy is not intended) and in many
battles you will fall lame. I promise you, though, that after losing those campaigns you will emerge from the way
with laurels of victory upon your head and with the frey prey quivering between your teeth. Lose battles but win
wars.
The wisest of all men has said “A tzadik falls seven times and rises again” [Mishlei 24]. Fools believe the intent of
this verse is to teach us something remarkable - the tzadik has fallen seven times and yet he rises. But the
knowledgeable are aware that the essence of the tzadik’s rising again is by way of his seven falls. “‘And He saw
all that He had made and behold, it was very good.’ ‘Good’: that is the yetzer tov. ‘Very good’: that is the yetzer
hara” [Bereshis Rabba 91].
My cherished one, I clasp you to my heart, and whisper in your ear that had your letter reported on your mitzvos
and good deeds, I would have said that I had received a good letter from you. As things stand, with your letter
telling of slumps and fails and obstacles, I say that I have received a very good letter from you. Your spirit is storming as it aspires to greatness. I beg of you, do not portray for yourself great men as being as one with their
yetzer tov. Picture rather their greatness in terms of an awesome war with every base and low inclination.
When you feel the turmoil of the yetzer hara within yourself, know that with that feeling you resemble great men
far more than with the feeling of deep peace, which you desire. In those very areas where you feel yourself falling
most frequently - particularly in those areas, do you have the greatest potential for serving as an instrument of
distinction for the honor of Hashem.
You do not want to deceive me, that I’ll think of you in a really good line you are so and so, and so and so seven
times. But as for me, what do I have from all these seven? For me the foundation work is that during the past
winter you have acquired a proper knowledge of the laws of monetary damages. You reviewed several times the
masechta that you learned. Do not deny it, this is a crucial fact. In this fact is hidden the secret of the victory in
your fight between your instincts.
You write: "I will never forget who the desire to succeed and to go from strength to strength. But unfortunately I
have already lost hope." I do not know how you dare to deny reality - have you not risen from strength to strength
from that time you came to study?!
I know you are not insolent, that the following is not accurate: if you find yourself to be consumed and overcome
by evil, you think foolishly and naively that you've lost your hope. Your words simply lead to ridicule. I participate
in your suffering, but suffering is the incubator of greatness. I saw your face when learning halacha. I saw your
face when listening to the lessons. I saw your face on the night of shvi’i shel Pesach. The signs engraved on the
face during the above are the signs of "in the end honor will come." The path of honor is not straight - the path of
honor goes through turns “like a serpent by the road, or viper by the path” [Bereshis 49]. Is the venom of a snake
within you? “It will strike at your heel, and you shall strike at its head” [Bereshis 3].
I found it necessary to offer these things to you in a letter. The intention is to give enable you to review them
occasionally. It should be obvious that I did not have the intention to address anything but the general line. With
regard to individual points, it would be preferable to speak directly one to another.
You are the one who is planted in the house of Hashem!
With the participation of your suffering, with confidence in your victory, and with prayers for your success,
Yitzchak Hutner.
PS Now you understand the first sentence of the letter, that your letter is contrary to the descriptions contained
within.