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Jun 24th, 2017
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  1. I loathe this place. Everything about it is despicable. From its morbid scenery, the many voices asking for help that never comes to strong smell of incinerated gasoline. Inhale, exhale, inhale, exhale...
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  3. I close my eyes. Everything disappears. A strange pressure in my chest replaces the horrors I left behind just now. All of those things seem so very distant now, and yet, the shadow cast by my own eyelids is not only engulfing those memories; it is also engulfing my sanity.
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  5. I open my eyes to see place I loathe once more. I cannot remember anything besides the contempt I hold this place in. I take a look at my surroundings and notice how two dark tall figures struggle to escape the blazing fate that awaits them. They run in circles, trapped inside a building that slowly burns to the ground beside me. After some seconds they fall victims to the venomous fume emanating from the flames. They fall prey to the inexorability of destiny where their fragile human remnants may lay until they turn into nothing but ashes.
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  7. And I should know that much about how they feel. My fate is the same. At the bottom of this abyss lie my numb limbs and my clouded judgment, along with this painful sensation that stems from my right hand. I turn my head to witness a burning trail making its way to my neck and perhaps my head. My nerves transmit the intense pain without delay; my flesh is not melting however. I could call it harmless, but the pain is unbearable. The flames creep closer and closer, until they almost reach my neck, and... I close my eyelids.
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  9. I cannot breathe anymore. The darkness devours my personality, my memories, my spirit and my will, little by little. Unable to withstand it for a second more I open my eyelids right in time to see the couple of dark figures fall to the ground once more and the trail of fire climb up my arm from the beginning, or so it would seem. In reality, this is all I have. This is all there is. And for how long this has been, I cannot tell. When I close my eyes, I forget little by little everything I know, everything I ever desired, and any hopes of what might be. I forget everything about who I am. When I open my eyes, a chain of fire ties me down to the bottom of an abyss I cannot run away from, while the poisonous vapors corrode my heart into a shape that may only harbor hatred. And in face of such horrors I just wish to become one with the nothingness. It is not a matter of living or dying. I just wish to disappear.
  10.  
  11. -Is that what you really wish?
  12. A high pitched voice I cannot really recognize as human screeched, in the middle of the smoke and flames.
  13. -I have been watching over you all along. I believe I can help you, only if you really want me to.
  14. I wonder if this is the first time we meet. I cannot be sure, as I forget almost everything whenever I close my eyes. Our eyes meet and a surge of confusing images bursts in my head, causing me a headache and confusion: A large house, broken toys, kids playing, notebooks, a couple talking in a car, an orange flash, flames and smoke, a beautiful girl... I dislike this. I want it to stop. If I just close my eyelids everything will go away...
  15. -Please don’t give up now –replies the silhouette quickly–. I know it’s hard to withstand everything you deal with but please, you have to trust me. It’s the only way out of here.
  16. A way out of here... It has been a long time since I even hoped for such a thing as an escape. Maybe... Maybe I should not close my eyes after all. I cannot tell if this stranger will be here for when I open them again. The painful sensation of the fire entwining my arm tells me I can’t wait long before deciding what to do. I don’t want to close my eyelids, but I’m afraid of what might happen if the fire reaches my head.
  17. -Oh, but that precisely what this is all about.
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  19. The silhouette moves towards me wielding that quickly buries itself in my right hand, where the trail of flames begins. What is the meaning of this?
  20. -Trust in me and just let the flames be. Look into my eyes and don’t break visual contact –said the black figure, very sure of itself.
  21. As little sense as this all makes, I doubt this situation could be worse... The flames reach out for my neck and press tightly... Should it be death or should I just stop existing, that would be fine. Rather than bearing with this pitiful imitation of life, I would not exist... The flames kiss my lips... That’s right. I give up this life and face on whatever consequences may come after this. I do my best to not break visual contact with my savior, as painful as the images in my head may be. The flames finally reached my forehead. Everything around me swirls and vanishes into the silhouette that stands in front of me, and a frightening smile is formed in its shape. Everything just vanishes, it all goes away, and right before spiriting away myself I can hear the screech, distant but clear, of the figure calling out to me and saying:
  22. -And because of this, I’ll make sure you never forget about me.
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  25. A warm sensation kisses my cheeks. I open my eyes, and I am blinded by a cozy ray of daylight coming from a window, or at least what I believe to be a window. It takes a good amount of effort to discern anything around me. I move around the place as my senses attune, and I give up trying to figure out any of the things around me. I can only tell apart basic shapes. My sight is really blurry. I try reaching out to my eyes to rub them a little with my hands, but my body feels as if it’s made of lead. Almost as if I had woken up from a deep and unusually long slumber.
  26. I try to make something out of my surroundings. White sheets are covering me, and I am resting on a soft surface. I am lying in a bed. But I can tell I do not belong here. I cannot remember this place. As a matter of fact, I cannot remember anything, not even my name. I can hear murmurs coming from outside, the sound of traffic through the window and a constant beeping that sounds like it came from machinery next to me.
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  28. A sharp feeling of pain makes startles me slightly. I turn my gaze to my right hand, to notice left hand has been scratching to the point of cutting through the skin in my other hand all along. Shocked, it takes a while to put my left hand away.
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  30. A door creaks and I turn my head to the place it comes from, to try to discern what is its source in vain. A blurry human shape creeps closer. I hear an exhalation coming from a feminine voice, and then the same voice calls out in surprise:
  31. -Doctor! Doctor! It’s Kurogane-san! He... Woke up!
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  33. It was like staring at an abstract painting. A large stroke of white paint appeared on the blurry canvas in front of me, accompanied by a large amount of footsteps and weak voices that drew near. If the woman called a “doctor” then this must be the whole medical team.
  34. -How are you feeling, Kurogane-san? –asked the voice of man.
  35. Kurogane? Is that my name?
  36. An oppressing silence took over the room for some seconds, before general murmur of disapproval surrounded the otherwise quiet nature of the room.
  37. -…Are you feeling okay? Can you talk? –asked the same voice.
  38. Talking huh? Now I notice, my mouth feels really dry, and so does my throat.
  39. -I think so. My eyes are just a little blurry, as if I had slept for a really long time –says a voice that didn’t really sound like mine. I can’t remember anything about myself, but I do know that voice isn’t mine. Again, it’s as if I had taken my sweet time while sleeping and my throat was a little sore.
  40. More murmuring, but this time it sounds more like relief than anything else. It isn’t long before it turns into an anxious discussion. I guess they are now trying to pinpoint the reason why I look so disoriented. I don’t really know what to tell them. “I can’t remember anything” would probably sound a little overdramatic.
  41. -Then, Kurogane-san, we’ll run a general check on you, if you feel like you can take it.
  42. -Is that my name? –says the strange voice once more.
  43. I can see a little bit better now. At least I think so, because I can tell the medics are looking at each other in concern in this moment.
  44. -You… you don’t remember your name? –asked a different voice. The man asking the question seems to be much younger. His voice sounded as if he was afraid I would shatter to pieces if he wasn’t careful.
  45. -No –I replied in a slightly carefree mood. I know I should be panicking, but I'm just slightly afraid. I have no idea of what I've lost or what I've become, but needless to say, I'll find out soon.
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