randyman

function Invoke-Sidious{
Add-Type -TypeDefinition @'
using System.Runtime.InteropServices;

[Guid("5CDF2C82-841E-4546-9722-0CF74078229A"), InterfaceType(ComInterfaceType.InterfaceIsIUnknown)]
interface IAudioEndpointVolume {
  // f(), g(), ... are unused COM method slots. Define these if you care
  int f(); int g(); int h(); int i();
  int SetMasterVolumeLevelScalar(float fLevel, System.Guid pguidEventContext);
  int j();
  int GetMasterVolumeLevelScalar(out float pfLevel);
  int k(); int l(); int m(); int n();
  int SetMute([MarshalAs(UnmanagedType.Bool)] bool bMute, System.Guid pguidEventContext);
  int GetMute(out bool pbMute);
}
[Guid("D666063F-1587-4E43-81F1-B948E807363F"), InterfaceType(ComInterfaceType.InterfaceIsIUnknown)]
interface IMMDevice {
  int Activate(ref System.Guid id, int clsCtx, int activationParams, out IAudioEndpointVolume aev);
}
[Guid("A95664D2-9614-4F35-A746-DE8DB63617E6"), InterfaceType(ComInterfaceType.InterfaceIsIUnknown)]
interface IMMDeviceEnumerator {
  int f(); // Unused
  int GetDefaultAudioEndpoint(int dataFlow, int role, out IMMDevice endpoint);
}
[ComImport, Guid("BCDE0395-E52F-467C-8E3D-C4579291692E")] class MMDeviceEnumeratorComObject { }

public class Audio {
  static IAudioEndpointVolume Vol() {
    var enumerator = new MMDeviceEnumeratorComObject() as IMMDeviceEnumerator;
    IMMDevice dev = null;
    Marshal.ThrowExceptionForHR(enumerator.GetDefaultAudioEndpoint(/*eRender*/ 0, /*eMultimedia*/ 1, out dev));
    IAudioEndpointVolume epv = null;
    var epvid = typeof(IAudioEndpointVolume).GUID;
    Marshal.ThrowExceptionForHR(dev.Activate(ref epvid, /*CLSCTX_ALL*/ 23, 0, out epv));
    return epv;
  }
  public static float Volume {
    get {float v = -1; Marshal.ThrowExceptionForHR(Vol().GetMasterVolumeLevelScalar(out v)); return v;}
    set {Marshal.ThrowExceptionForHR(Vol().SetMasterVolumeLevelScalar(value, System.Guid.Empty));}
  }
  public static bool Mute {
    get { bool mute; Marshal.ThrowExceptionForHR(Vol().GetMute(out mute)); return mute; }
    set { Marshal.ThrowExceptionForHR(Vol().SetMute(value, System.Guid.Empty)); }
  }
}
'@
Add-Type -AssemblyName System.Speech

# Identify current Mute status and Volume Level
$CurrentMute = [Audio]::Mute
$CurrentVol = [Audio]::Volume

# Un-mute if needed
[Audio]::Mute = $False
# If Volume is under 25%, change to 75%
[Audio]::Volume = .25

# Intialize voice
$Voice = New-Object System.Speech.Synthesis.SpeechSynthesizer

# Get current rate of speech. Probably set to 0(default)
$CurrentRate = $Voice.Rate

# Change rate of speech
$Voice.Rate = -2
# Speak




$Voice.Speak("Who can take a  Computer, Get it to reboot
Cover it with anti virus and a miracle or two
The  Randy Man, oh the  Randy Man can
The  Randy Man can cause he  Reboots it with love and makes the world  take a pause

Who can take a Laptop, Reprogram it with a sigh
Soak it in the sun and make a groovy lemon pie
The Randy Man, the Randy Man can
The Randy Man can cause he Reboots it with love and makes the world take a pause

The Randy Man makes everything he Reboots satisfying and delicious
Now you talk about your childhood wishes, Rebooting everything for his missus

Oh, who can take tomorrow, dip it in a dream
Separate the sorrow and collect up all the Screams
The Randy Man, oh the Randy Man can
The Randy  Man can cause he  reboots it with love and makes the world take a pause

The Randy Man makes everything he Reboots satisfying and delicious
Talk about your childhood wishes, Rebooting everything for his missus

Yeah, yeah, yeah
Who can take tomorrow, dip it in a dream
Separate the sorrow and collect up all the screams
The Randy Man, the Randy Man can
The Randy Man can cause he Reboots it with love and makes the world taste good
Yes, the Randy  Man can cause he Reboots it with love and makes the world take a pause
a- Randy Man, a- Randy Man, a- Randy Man
Randy Man, a-Randy Man, a-Randy Man
Randy Man, a-Randy Man, a-Randy Man ")

# Change Rate,Volume,Mute values back to what they were set to originally
$Voice.Rate = $CurrentRate
[Audio]::Volume = $CurrentVol
[Audio]::Mute = $CurrentMute

# Dispose of voice
$Voice.Dispose()

}