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Jun 24th, 2017
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  1. In Svutlana opinion, there be absolute no excuses for anal penetration mistakes, especial excuse that say it happen before with other womens or that penis have shape like chili pepper and can no help but aim at anus. It would no surprise Svutlana one little bit if previous girlfriend become EX-girlfriend base on anal trespass.
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  3. Anal trespass (this be what Svutlana call anal penetration mistake) be anal penetration with no permission. Anal trespass also be reckless anal penetrate with insufficient preparations that be soft musics (Yanni be good for relax anus), anal massage and dollop of Asstrolube. In Svutlandia, single occurrence of anal trespass result in automatic black card. Black card for anal trespass mean that mens (or womens who can no control strap-on) must attend six weeks of remedial sex training that involve insert penis in for well-lubricate bulls eye target ten thousand time each days. If miss target even one times, must do additional week of remedial training.
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  5. Next time boyfriend get pull over by police officer for speed, tell him for tell officer that he exceed speed limit from time for time and that, unfortunate, his foot be curve so that it lean in for accelerator. Guarantee me, police officer write up extreme special ticket for him and you should do exact same.
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  7. Absolute no try for numb anus as if fact there be two hole for choose from be your fault. As with many sex mishap where perpetrator no be sufficient contrite, need you for make partner feel your pains. Need you for perform 'accidental' anal tresspass on boyfriend with dildo, preferable with dildo that be make with rubber because rubber often look extreme realistic and no slide in smooth like glass dildo. And no forget for forget Asstrolube.
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  9. By now, many peoples who read this comment think Svutlana be, among other thing, hard ass. Svutlana no be hard ass: no say Svutlana that wish me that boyfriend be allergic for rubber dildo so that his anus start for itch after perform 'accidental' anal trespass. Guarantee me, peoples who think Svutlana be hard ass never experience electric shock of anal trespass that feel like somebody out of blues use your ass for do pole vault.
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  11. Maybe you no have nerves for give boyfriend accidental anal with rubber dildo. Understand me complete. In this case, need you for protect your anus from unwant intruder with little bit duct tape. Also recommend Svutlana that you be on top when make happy happy so that you can control depth, speed and angle of penetration. Tell boyfriend that thanks for him, need you for barricade anus and take complete control of intercourses and that if he no be more careful with placement of penis in futures, he will have one more ex-girlfriend.
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  13. Warm regard you too much and feel me your pains,
  14. Svutlana
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