I don't know what in particular to say but I don't like feeling like I'm ignoring you when you're online. What's up?

    not much

    school still school?

yup

    should I leave you alone?
    I was gonna say that I don't like not knowing whether or not I should be avoiding talking to you.
    I don't remember getting a concise "fuck off," so I wanted to give you a chance if that was the case

    I don't know.  There's still a part of me that wants things to go back to the way they were before you ruined everything, but that part is generally held in check by the fact that you basically because, as Meagan put it, "a life ruining axe wound".  She thinks I shouldn't be talking to you anymore, because it generally doesn't end well.  So I don't fucking know.  I ended up in a goddamn psych ward because you "tried to avoid breaking my mind."

    Would you have honestly preferred that I just broke up with you when I got back to Omaha after being at your house the summer before last, with the reasoning "I don't know, I'm just not happy anymore" ?    I actually shouldn't say anything, none of this is your fault, Carl.  Meagan has a really great point, and I honestly agree with her. I know that talking to me more will be worse for you.     Even if you never forgive me or accept it, I'm still telling you that I'm sorry. You deserved better, and it's a god damned tragedy that you hurt as much as you did because I didn't know how to break up with you.  You were a great friend. I'm sorry that I wasn't even a good one.