I'll give you guys my thoughts about this case and the OOC situation, then I'll be taking my leave.

-- The Case --

In my point of view, the case was never meta. I killed Maemi for in game reasons which jpug already knows, and while he may be pissed because he died, one character had to die, whether he likes it or not. Now, throwing accusations at me while none of you knows anything about what happened upsets me.

https://i.imgur.com/PrRI3Or.png

That's fucking bullshit. If Maemi had good rolls, she would've survived -I would make sure of it myself, the thing I hate the most is cheating/being meta-. It doesn't matter if there was already a cg and someone paid for it, if Maemi survived we would simply not use the image. It was only meant to be something fancy, and you fucks seem pretty fucking ungrateful for Monokuma wasting his money to make this killing game better.

https://i.imgur.com/8dVrfYM.png

As I said, nothing was meta. Nothing was MEANT to be meta. I'm not a psychic, I created the plan and I went over it contless times to make sure it was as fair as it could be. If I wanted to be an asshole and make this case unfair, trust me, I would have. I threw away my character for the sake of the killing game's plot and Akira. I don't care if Rika dies or survives. I TRIED, OKAY? I don't work for Spike Chunsoft and I have no way to know for sure whether or not it's going to be a fair trial for the players, so I was counting on Monokuma for that. He helped me out, but he failed to make a decent timeline and he wasn't very avaliable during the trial -not that I'm blaming him-. It may not have been perfect, but at least I had fun. I'll elaborate a little more on that.

By the way, YES, the murder was planned weeks before it actually happened, but this isn't dinner. You all really expect someone to make a perfect case in like, 2 days? It took weeks for me and Monokuma to go through everything, and it still wasn't enough for you all. I really don't get that complaint.

-- The Trial --

Since the start of the trial there was arguments, and for each day of the trial there was a different argument and a different fight. That made me really sad, because then I realized I didn't do a great job. But I sucked it up, and I tried to calm everyone down so we could just enjoy the game as friends. That didn't work, and I felt even more stressed out. Then the last day of the trial came, and everything went to shit.
And to the people saying that I wasn't a good culprit, and that I stonewalled everything: I had a reason for everything. The trial was almost over, but instead of playing everyone gave up. I was SO close to breaking in character, but that didn't happen, because the players didn't allow it to happen. I did my best to stay in character.

-- The Players / OOC --

I love some of the players. They're great. They had my back when I was down, and I'm really thankful for that. But this NEEDS to be addressed.
The majority of the players have zero chill, and that's one of the reasons that everything went to shit.
I'm on this killing game for the PLAYERS, not the GAME. Let's say I wasn't the culprit. As a player, I wouldn't give a damn if the trial was confusing or bad, because it's not important. The most important thing in my opinion is to have fun with your friends, not to make sure that we have a flawless danganronpa-esque trial, swearing and attacking everyone along the way. In my opinion, this trial in game went great til the point where everyone just gave up because of meta reasons -And I'm being meta, right?- and decided to attack me and Monokuma. I told Mayumi that if the trial got stuck, she was supposed to slip up on purpose to help with the flow. But she wasn't avaliable much, and that didn't happen. I was all by myself, basically. Everything would be avoided if literally you all just played the game. But that's too hard, most of you would rather call the trial shitty, confusing, bad and say that you're having literally no fun whatsoever and that you're just wasting time.
All I do on my free time is work on the killing game. I drew CGs for Rika, I made a video, I asked melia and she was happy to help voicing my character. But none of that fucking mattered in the end, because everyone was acting like it was the end of the world.

I can't express how heartbroken I was to realize that I was wasting 15 people's time, that I wasted MY time drawing art for Rika and working on that video, and that every single one of my friends was upset with the trial. But it doesn't end there. I threw my character away for NOTHING.

I HAD LITERALLY NO OTHER CHOICE BUT TO OUT MYSELF AS THE KILLER AT THAT POINT. I couldn't wait for Mayumi because she was never on, and I couldn't just keep quiet, because I knew that the longer the trial took, the bigger would be the hatred of the players towards me and even worse - towards Rika -. To minimize damage, I went and did it. I also couldn't handle the pressure and the personal attacks towards me and the case. And when I did confess in game, everyone just laughed at me. Made fun of me and Rika. Reacted with funny memes and reactions xD and didn't take seriously something that I was looking forward to all week. Now my character is a joke, the trial is horrible and no one gave a fuck about the feelings of the people who were involved.

I'll say it again. Whoever gave me support, thank you SO much. But after all that, I can't pretend everything is fine anymore. Nothing ever changes. Everyone is all friendly with each other till someone doesn't like something, then FUCK EVERYONE, FUCK YOU, BLOCKED. It's the same thing ever since dinner started.

I may be overreacting, but that's how I feel. I'm not trying to start drama. I just need to let everyone know that your actions and words DO have consequences.

I'm leaving. I wish the next culprits don't have to go through what I'm feeling right now, because it's an awful feeling. I wouldn't wish this for anyone.

Good luck to everyone, and have "fun".