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Aug 18th, 2018
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  1. I'm not good at tone so I would suggest getting help from someone else
  2. "Any trespassers on the property are to be forcibly removed and given Class-A amnestics. Any trespassers entering SCP-XXXX are to be terminated immediately."
  3. This is a contradiction. I would suggest eliminating the second sentence.
  4.  
  5. "Some rooms of SCP-XXXX contain machinery that is still functioning."
  6. Why is this important to a reader? Maybe have it state somewhere in this sentence, 'despite damages present,' or 'despite the lack of repairs,' or something like that.
  7.  
  8. "Agents investigating have reported hearing a faint, static sound emanating from SCP-XXXX-2, but this has not been confirmed through video footage."
  9. This comes out of nowhere put this after you explain what SCP-XXXX-2 is.
  10.  
  11. "During Explorations 5, 9, and 13, the doors to SCP-XXXX-2 were closed, barring entry for investigation. Static sounds were reported as coming from inside during all events."
  12. This could work better as a foreword in an exploration log imo.
  13.  
  14. Okay so overall, this needs hooks to reel the reader in. So what is the story to this? I would ask for help on the tone as I am not the best at it.
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