>Food? Check.
>Beer? Check.
>Stronger booze? Check.
>Went through the entire plan with MalO? Triple check.
>You didn't normally do checklists but fucking this up wasn't an option.
>You paced and looked at the clock for the third time this minute.
>Your parents were always extremely punctual
>Or your mom was and your dad got pulled along.
>Everything was as ready as you could make it.
>You even had place settings laid out on the table.
>Fucking. place. settings.
>You had never felt so adult in your life
>But at the same time you felt like a nervous teenager
>Introducing your parents to your girlfriend
>Except now your girlfriend was an extradimensional zombie werewolf with rockin' curves.
>And somehow you felt like that wouldn't even be the biggest shock of the evening.
>The doorbell rang and you almost jumped out of your skin.
>Oh shit shit shit
>Your pulse started racing
>You had been so fixated on planning the meeting that somehow reality never really settled in
>That they would be here
>In your apartment
>Meeting your extradimensional zombie werewolf gf.
>MalO had been lying on the sofa in the living room saving her energy
>But when you looked at her and nodded, she got up and moved to your bedroom
>You took several deep breaths and tried to calm down
>You walked to the front door
>Through the window you saw the tops of two heads
>Definitely your folks.
>You opened the door.
>“Heeeeey Anon!”
>Your dad was first in for a hug, grinning from ear to ear
>He looked a little bit more fat and bald than when you had last seen him half a year or so ago
>Once he let go your mom came in
>She was smiling, which was at least a good sign.
“How was the trip?”
>“Oh, you know all that beautiful scenery on the way here,” your dad said, laughing.
>There was nothing but pasture and cornfields between here and where your parents lived a day and a half drive away.
“Well come on in, I've got the table all laid out.”
>Your dad looked at your mom. “Oh, wow, you know he's serious about this chick!” he cackled.
>“It smells wonderful,” your mom said, “But I'd like to meet your ladyfriend first before we eat.”
“Yeah, of course.”
>You lead them to the living room and beckon them to sit down.
“Can I get you a beer?”
>Your dad agreed enthusiastically.
>Your mom was reluctant because she was driving, but eventually agreed.
>No turning back now.
>“All right, enough stalling Anon,” your dad said with a  poke in the ribs. “Let's meet her.”
“Promise me you'll keep an open mind.”
>“Son, I open my mind five times a week and twice on Saturdays.” Your dad laughed at his own joke.
>You opened the bedroom door.
“This is MalO.”
>MalO nodded.
>You could tell she was smiling, but doubted your parents could see it.
>“It's a pleasure to meet you, Mr. and Mrs. Anonson,” she growled.
>Her voice was raspy like grinding rocks, but had a definite feminine tone to it.
>Your dad tilted his head.
>Your mom didn't do anything.
>“Is that a costume? Did you hook up with one of them...fuzzies, or fluffies, or whatever they're called?”
“No, this...this is what she really looks like.
>“You may get a closer look if you don't believe me.”
>Your dad got up and walked closer.
>He circled around her, looking her up and down
>You could tell he swallowed several comments about her physique
>“And that's like...your actual face?”
>“Yes, it's my actual face. You can touch it if you want to be sure.”
>Your dad carefully looked all around her skull, trying to find the edge of the mask.
>“Well, I'll be fucked. If I hadn't smoked a literal pound of weed every week for 35 years I'd probably be freaking out right now.”
>MalO cringed a bit, and you put an arm around her.
>“Still, you're far from the weirdest thing I've ever seen. And my boy's smart. Hell, he may even be smarter than me, so if you're good enough for him then you're good enough for me. Welcome to the family!”
>Your dad opened his arms for a hug, and MalO accepted.
“Mom, are you there?”
>Your mom had been staring blankly this whole time like she was somewhere else
>But when you spoke to her, she startled upright.
>“Yes, sorry. It's a pleasure to meet you...Mallow, was it?”
“MalO. M-a-l-capital-O.”
>Your mom and your girlfriend shook hands.
>That went...well?
>You herded everyone to the table and began serving the food.
>Your dad bombarded the two of you with questions
>How you met, what your lives were like, the usual things.
>You downloaded that app and she stalked you for a few days
>You were freaked out at first and almost took a baseball bat to her when she showed up in person
>But then you realized she was actually pretty chill
>You had been living together for about a year now.
>You got work designing websites
>And it turns out MalO was fantastic at making apps
>Regular apps, mostly mobile games, not get-stalked-by-a-monster apps.
>Between the two of you, you earned enough to live comfortably and even had some savings.
>Occasionally your mom interjected with questions about MalO
>Like how she was obviously some sort of nonhuman...thing
>But she never got insulting and of course you were expecting questions like that.
>Everyone finished dinner and you made cocktails.
>You wanted your parents plastered for the next part.
>Your dad took three White Russians in rapid succession before slowing down
>Your mom gave in with some prodding.
>Once the alcohol levels in the room were high enough, you spoke.
“There's another reason I wanted you to come visit now.”
>Your mom tensed up like she knew what was coming.
>Your dad just swayed gently and smiled.
>You put an arm around MalO's waist and nodded to her.
>“I'm pregnant,” she said.
>Your mom put her face in her hands.
>“Oh, shit...”
“Mom, MalO and I both earn plenty of money, we can –”
>“NO! No, you can't! You don't – you don't know the problems. Oh shit, oh fucking hell...”
>Your dad seemed to float back into this reality once again.
>“Lighten up honey, our boy can do it.”
>“That's not the problem, it's – don't you see?”
>MalO started to tense up and slide down in her chair
>You held her tighter.
“If you're not going to approve just because of how MalO looks, then I want you to leave.”
>“You idiot,” your mom snapped back. “It's not how she looks, it's –”
“I said. Get out of my house.”
>To your surprise it actually worked.
>Your mom got up without speaking and grabbed your dad by the shoulder.
>“Honey, you want me to drive?” your dad asked wobbling. “You look like you've had a bit...bit much.”
>“I'm fine.”
>They walked to the door. Your dad paused on the way out.
>“Give it a few days, I'll work her over.”
>You slammed the door behind them and locked it.
>You were shaking
>You'd never stood up to your mom like that before
>It would have felt good in any other situation.
>MalO had retreated to the bedroom and was sitting on the bed.
>You went to hug her, and she leaned into you
>She was shaking too.
“I'm sorry, that was a mistake.”
>“No, you had to tell them. I understand.”
“I don't know what to do now.”
>“Well your dad seemed nice.”
>You laughed a bit at that.
“Yeah, he liked you.”
>“But your mom?”
>You sighed.
“She doesn't really like anyone, I don't think.”
>It was getting late.
>You cleaned up the leftover food, got ready for bed, and curled up with MalO.
>She wrapped a furry arm around you and you both fell asleep.

>MalO woke you up the next morning by asking for a bucket and a glass of water
>Turns out pregnant demon dogs get morning sickness too.
>You half expected your parents to come back
>Or at least your dad, to patch things up
>But nobody showed.
>You went out in the afternoon
>Turns out pregnant demon dogs also get food cravings.
>You expected it to be something weird but somehow she just really wanted applesauce.
>When you left for the store there was a van across the street.
>White, featureless, tinted windows.
>Couldn't look more like a rape van if it tried
>But you were probably just thinking in terms of memes again.
>It was still there when you got back
>The driver's window rolled up quickly as you approached.
>Well that's not creepy at all.
>You got back home and double locked the door behind you.
>MalO was playing vidya.
>That seemed to be her way of processing things, every time the two of you fought she would pull up some shooter or other.
“I've got your stuff!”
>She paused the game and eagerly came over.
>You opened the jar and got a bowl
>She just took the jar out of your hands and started slurping straight from that.
>She didn't have any lips so had to do a thing with her tongues
>It looked weird and hot all at once.
>She drained the entire freaking family size jar of applesauce in one go
>Set it down on the counter and grunted.
>“I just realized something.”
“Hmm?”
>“I don't like applesauce.”
>You tried not to laugh.
>You laughed
>She laughed.
“We'll work out this thing with my parents.”
>“I know.”

>The rest of the day passed without anything interesting happening.
>The next day you got a knock on the door.
>You were still expecting your parents but saw a pair of unfamiliar dudes in suits.
>The van was still there.
>Ohboyherewego.webm
>You opened the door enough to look out but left the metal security door closed and locked.
>“Mr. Anonson?” the one in front asked.
“Yes?”
>“We're agents of the SCP Foundation. We work to contain anomalous and potentially dangerous objects that conflict with reality as we understand it.”
>What.
“What.”
>“I'll cut to the chase. We know you're housing an anomalous sapient entity named...”
>He looked at a sheet of paper
>“MalO.”
>You think about trying to lie but your face gives you away long before you can come up with a believable bluff.
>“Normally we would just apprehend the entity, administer you an amnestic, and be done with it, but we understand that you and it are...involved.”
“She, not it.”
>The dude's blank expression went even more blank, which looked like annoyance.
>“Due to the very unusual circumstances of this case, we are willing to keep the two of you together. You will both be taken into custody and may be allowed to continue living together.”
“What happens if I say no?”
>“Then you'll be given an amnestic, causing you to forget that you ever encountered...her.”
>The dude in the back stepped forward and pushed something through the mail slot.
>“This booklet gives a brief overview of the Foundation and what we do. I suggest you read it. You'll have two hours to decide.”
>“And don't even think about trying to run away.”
>You took the booklet and closed the door.
>Fuck.
>To be honest you were expecting something like this to happen for a long time
>But that didn't make it any better.
>You went to MalO, who could tell something was wrong, and explained what just happened.
>You read through the booklet together.
>As far as either of you could tell, she would be classified as “Euclid.”
“Can't you just, like, demanifest? I mean, you haunted, um, followed a bunch of different people.”
>“Only people who downloaded the MalO app. You were the last one, I didn't show it to anyone else after I met you.”
>Awww.
“Can't you put it online again?”
>“I tried just a few minutes ago.”
>Right, she could do that couldn't she?
>“It got taken down in seconds.”
>Damn.
“It was probably those people.”
>“But then I would have to go back to my old life.”
>“Following people who grow to hate and fear me.”
>“Leaving after they attack me.”
>“Only to do it all over again and again.”
>“Except this time I would have a baby to take care of. I don't even know how that would work.”
>“And I wouldn't have you anymore.”
>You wibbled.
>After some more talk you both made your decision.
>MalO stayed in the bedroom, you went back outside.
>The two dudes were on your doorstep.
>Had they been standing there the whole time?
>“Have you decided on our offer?”
“Yeah, but I have a question.”
>“Only one? I'm surprised.”
“How do I know I can trust you? Like for all I know this whole 'Foundation' thing could be a bunch of bullshit and you just want to chop her up or sell her to some rich perverted fuck.”
>The closer agent tilted his head a bit.
>“The thing is, Mr. Anonson, you don't really have a choice. We're taking her into our custody and there's nothing you can do to stop us”
>“And it's only because of _exceedingly_ unusual circumstances that we're giving you this opportunity at all.”
>The agent in the back, who had given you the booklet but otherwise remained silent, spoke up.
>“I believe this may be the time for him to meet his beneficiary.”
>The fuck?
>The more talkative agent nodded. “If this won't assure you of our good faith, then nothing will.”
>He pulled out a walkie talkie. “Ma'am, I think you should come out now.”
>You heard the far door of the unmarked van open and slam shut.
>Someone walked around the back of the van toward your apartment.
>It was your mom.
>Stunned into silence, you said nothing as she approached.
>“Gentlemen, please wait for us in the van.”
>The agents, who had begun to look uncomfortable, both retreated to their ride.
>She turned to you.
>“Hello Anon.”
>The gears in your head had been spinning wildly, and finally clicked into place.
“You told these guys about MalO?”
>“I think we should have this conversation inside.”
“No, seriously. You sold us out?”
>Your voice was rising. Any louder and the neighbors would start to wonder.
>“Anon. Inside. Now.”
>Reluctantly, you let her in and closed the door.
>Your mom sighed and rubbed her forehead before looking up at you.
>“Anon, I didn't sell you out.”
“Then what –”
>“I'm their boss.”
>Wat
>“I'm a level 4 researcher with the SCP Foundation. Those agents are under my direct command. When I saw you were housing an anomalous entity –”
“She's my girlfriend and I –”
>“She,” your mom's voice steamrolled over yours without ever rising in volume. “Is an unknown sapient life form outside of our understanding. The Foundation has been aware of both the MalO app and the physical entity for several years. Our efforts to repress the spread of the app have been mostly successful.”
>She paused.
>“Or so we thought. But until now we've been unable to apprehend the physical creature. Not only is she an obvious biological anomaly that doesn't fit into any taxonomy, but from what you and she have said, she also has control over technology that could potentially be extremely dangerous.”
“How could that be dangerous?”
>“Aside from causing psychological distress, hallucinations, and psychosis? Aside from revealing to the public definitive proof that cryptids with apparently mystical powers are real?”
“Yeah sure, aside from that,” you said, answering her sarcasm with your own.
>“Well off the top of my head, imagine the MalO app getting downloaded onto the phone of a government official. She stalks them for a few days, manifests physically, and kills them. If the process takes three days from downloading the app to her physical manifestation, then in just two weeks she could assassinate enough world leaders to start World War III.”
“MalO wouldn't do that.”
>“How do you know?”
>You didn't have an answer.
>“And...Anon.”
“What.”
>“As your mother.”
>Oh, not that line.
>“Are you really sure this is the right decision?”
“Mom, I'm financially stable. We both earn money. I'm twenty-___ years old, and we've worked through all our biggest problems. Yes, I'm sure.”
>She nodded. “Very well, I'll respect your decision.”
>“She's right.”
>You spun around to see MalO standing behind you.
>“They don't know that I'm not dangerous.”
>MalO looked at your mom.
>“I'm willing to come with you.”
>Your mom nodded.
>“Thank you. I appreciate your cooperation.”
>“IF you can guarantee the safety of our child,” MalO finished.
>Your mom paused, sighed, and looked at the floor between them for a moment.
>“I will do everything in my power to make sure he or she is treated humanely.”
>A thought occurred to you.
“You'll, like, do tests on them or something, won't you? On MalO, and our baby once it's born?”
>“Yes, most likely. Nothing that would be considered harmful or inhumane, unless we determine either of them is a more serious threat than is currently believed.”
“Then I want to be there. Whenever you're doing any kind of experiment, I want to be in the room. I'm not going to leave either of them alone.”
>Your mom almost smiled.
>She looked...proud?
>“I understand. I'll speak to the on-site researchers.”
>You and MalO looked at each other.
“Is there anything else?”
>MalO shook her head.
>“Then you should pack your things,” your mom said. “Bring everything, you won't be coming back here.”

>You spent the next few hours packing up all your worldly belongings
>You rented the apartment so you didn't own the furniture
>All you really had were clothes, electronics, books, bedsheets, kitchen stuff, hygiene supplies, and a bit of miscellaneous crap.
>It was actually a lot of stuff when you saw it all laid out, but it all fit into like five boxes
>You refused to let MalO do anything more than light lifting so she mostly packed the boxes.
>The agents carried the stuff to the van.
>“We aren't a shipping service,” one of them had said
>But then your mom gave him a look and he shut up and started ferrying your stuff.
“I need to talk to the superintendent,” you said once everything was packed.
>“We'll sort all the paperwork,” your mom said.
>They couldn't just let MalO walk to the van in broad daylight.
>They put shackles on her wrists and ankles, and a tracking anklet
>You wanted to object but MalO stopped you
>Then they put her in a large crate and you and the two agents carried her to the van
>Disguised as furniture
>Once she was loaded into the back, she was allowed to get out and climb into the back row of seats.
>Then you got shackles and a tracking device too and were seated next to her.
>It wasn't uncomfortable but there weren't any windows
>There was a wall between you and the front seats
>And a camera mounted on one door facing toward you.
>You couldn't see out of the vehicle at all
>They didn't want you to know where you were going.
>You and MalO talked occasionally but were mostly silent.
>After a while you noticed her slumping a bit
>And it looked like she was panting.
“Are you feeling sick?”
>She nodded.
>“Like I do in the morning.”
>Great, on top of everything she was carsick.
“Well you're supposed to look out the window but I don't think they'll do that.”
>“You can at least ask,” she said sounding annoyed.
>Right.
>You waved at the camera.
“MalO is feeling carsick, is there any chance she can look out a window?”
>A voice crackled from a speaker in the wall you hadn't noticed before
>It was like those intercoms at the entrance to an apartment building.
>“No can do. We can't risk her being seen and neither of you are allowed to know where we're going.”
“But she's really feeling bad, can't you at least crack a window so we can get some fresh air?
>“Not gonna happen, we –”
>“Anders, cut the crap.”
>You faintly heard your mom's voice, both over the intercom and also from where she was sitting.
>“We're 20 kilometers outside of the city, nobody is going to see her. And it's not like they won't figure out where the containment site is eventually. Crack a window, give the lady some air and let her look outside. Or would you rather have a skip vomit all over the back of the van?”
>“Ma'am, any violation of protocol will need to be included in the retrieval report.”
>“Fine, then mention it. Say I approved it.”
>There was a grunt and a pause.
>A window in the wall in front of you opened up
>It was small, but it was enough for MalO to look forward
>The window on the door on MalO's side cracked down just a bit and you got a trickle of fresh air.
>Sure enough, you saw
>Wheat fields
>Corn fields
>Dirt fields
>As far as your extremely limited range of vision could see.
>In a few minutes MalO started to perk up.
“Feeling better?”
>“Yeah, a lot better. I wonder how long we'll be in here?”
>“The drive to the containment site's about two days,” came the answer through the intercom.
>“I've never been in a car before, how far will that take us?”
>She asked you, instead of the intercom.
“Several states away, we could get halfway across the country if we only stop long enough to sleep and get food.”
>“We'll need something to pass the time.”
“I can think of a few things,” you said.
>“Are you sure? Because there's a camera, and your mom's right there.”
“I meant car games! Like twenty questions!”
>You heard laughter coming from in front of you.
>“Sure you did,” MalO said, clearly trying not to laugh at your embarrassment.
>You introduced MalO to twenty questions
>She kicked your ass at it
>You didn't even know it was possible to kick someone's ass at twenty goddamn questions.
>It didn't help that those two agents kept giving her suggestions
>It turned out they were actually pretty cool
>You got the impression they had to act tough and intimidating as part of the job
>But they loosened up as the hours went on.
>Anders was the one who had done most of the talking when you first encountered them
>Jackson was the other one
>You had no idea if those were first or last names.
>You stopped for gas a few times during the day
>You were let out for pit stops by the side of the road a couple of times
>And went to a drive-thru at one point.
>You tried to imagine how the cashier might have reacted if she could have seen the furry monster and the random dude shackled in the back seat.
>You got a burger, fries, and shake.
>MalO got a chicken sandwich, a bacon cheeseburger, a sundae, and two orders of fries.
>Jackson sounded a bit annoyed at having to pay for all that but didn't complain too much.
>Your mom didn't say anything for a while.
>The setting sun shone through the open window
>So you were heading west
>When it got dark you wondered how much longer it would be before they stopped for the night.
>Then the van pulled over, you and MalO were let out to pee.
>When you were done your mom got out of her seat and into the driver's seat
>Trading places with Jackson.
“You're taking shifts?”
>Your mom nodded.
>“We can't stop here, this is bat country.”
>Seriously?
>You guessed she had been sleeping for a while and now was going to take over the wheel.
>You were starting to feel drowsy too
>You leaned onto MalO
>She leaned back into you
>You arranged yourselves into the most comfortable position possible
>You both fell asleep.

>You didn't sleep very well
>You woke up and drifted back off several times
>But you must still have gotten a full night's rest
>You asked if you could stop to take a leak
>This woke MalO up too
>A while later they had to close your window because you entered a small town
>You pulled over somewhere
>It was a Chinese takeout joint
>You placed your orders and got your food fifteen minutes later
>The second day of driving went more or less like the first
>The scenery started getting more hilly
>Hills turned into mountains
>Pretty soon you were winding along a twisty mountain highway
>MalO was staring intently out of the little window
>Right, this couldn't be pleasant for her.
>After a couple more hours the road straightened out
>You turned off the highway onto a smaller road
>A little while later you turned off of that onto a dirt road heading straight into the trees
>At this point it was looking like your bodies were getting dumped in the woods
>After a few minutes bumping along the dirt you stopped
>It was a dead end
>Wait no
>You saw something rising up in front of you
>It was a trapdoor
>An actual fucking trapdoor
>Disguised to look like the forest floor
>You drove down a ramp into a tunnel
>The tunnel turned sharply
>As far as you could tell you were going back in the direction you came from
>They really didn't want people to know where this thing went.
>You couldn't tell how far you drove
>But eventually you went up a ramp and into sunlight
>You were unloaded in front of a large building
>Looking back at the van, you saw a pair of fuzzy dice hanging on the rearview mirror
>And the license plate said FR35H
>God dammit.
>You and MalO were led into the building
>It looked kind of like a hospital.
>You were taken to a room where you both got poked and prodded
>MalO got a detailed physical examination
>Then they shaved the fur off her belly and gave an ultrasound.
>“There it is.”
>You were a bit relieved.
>Even with all of her symptoms, some part of you still wasn't sure she was actually pregnant
>It would have been kind of embarrassing at this point if she actually wasn't.
>But now you saw the thing floating around on the screen.
“What's that up there?”
>You pointed to a corner of the image
>The technician moved the wand
>It was another fetus
>After more searching they found a third one.
>Your baby was actually three.
>Holy crap.
>You were having triplets.
>The technician left the room for a few minutes
>You heard her talking with someone but couldn't make out what they were saying
>Eventually she came back in.
>“That will be all, thank you.”
>That was the end of the testing for the time being.
>Jackson and Anders led you to a different building while they explained the layout of the site.
>It was basically a cross between a research facility, a gated community, and a prison
>It was about a square kilometer surrounded entirely by a concrete wall
>There were buildings for research, security, a hospital, maintenance facilities, recreation facilities, pretty much everything you needed to keep a community running
>There were living quarters for sapient SCPs that were “Euclid, but generally considered non-hazardous and that would benefit from socialization.”
>Plus a few extra-large living quarters
>For SCPs with non-anomalous families.
>“That would be you,” Jackson said.
>You figured.
>Everything that wasn't different buildings or pathways was forest
>Like they just developed the parts that they needed and left the rest natural
>Except for the assload of security cameras everywhere.
>You would have basically no privacy.
>Not having a camera watch while you took a dump was a privilege, not a right.
>If you had good behavior and generally acted trustworthy, you might get some of the cameras in your apartment turned off.
>As for what that meant for nighttime activities, well.
>You were led to your living quarters.
>It was basically an apartment about the same size as your old one.
>It was part of a row of apartments that looked like one of those single-story strip motels.
>There was a living room, kitchen, bathroom
>And two bedrooms.
>They had obviously planned ahead for you.
>You were told not to mess with the security cameras and your things were dropped off for you to unpack.
>They were in disarray, apparently someone went through everything while you got dragged around.
>Made sense.
>Everyone left and finally you were alone with MalO for the first time since this all started.
>You looked around.
>There were a few tables, chairs, a sofa, and a bed.
>Otherwise the place was empty.
>Now you finally had space to think about what had happened.
>You would be staying here for...
>Your whole life?
>Maybe.
>You decided not to think that far ahead though.
>Maybe things would change in ways you couldn't expect.
>Hell, your life now was completely different from what it was going to be just a week ago.
>Maybe something completely unexpected would happen again.
>Well, not completely unexpected.
>Part of you had been waiting for something like this to happen.
>Like, you don't just hook up with a smartphone wolf monster and then NOT get imprisoned by a quasi-governmental agency.
>But you didn't expect it to happen this way.
>That the person who found you out, the person you couldn't trust
>Would be your mom.
>She hadn't said anything to you on the entire drive
>She said a few words about the layout of the facility when you got here
>Then she disappeared when you and MalO were getting those physical examinations.
>Right, the examinations.
>Triplets.
>Even if all this other stuff hadn't happened, you still found out today that MalO would be having a fucking litter.
>As you were thinking, MalO took your hand and led you to the sofa.
>You wondered if she was going to make a move on you
>But she just curled up with her head on your lap.
>You stretched out, stroking her mane. The sofa was actually pretty comfy.
“We'll get through this.”
>“Together.”
>You both drifted off to sleep without really meaning to.

>When you woke up it was morning. You must have been more tired than you thought.
>MalO was still asleep with her head on your lap.
>Right on your bladder, in fact.
>There was a wet spot on your pant leg where she had been drooling.
>You stretched and she woke up from your sudden motion.
>You checked your phone, it was a bit past 8.
>Since you worked from home you usually stayed up late
>You couldn't even remember the last time you were up at 8 AM without duress.
>You remembered someone had said breakfast was until 9:30.
“Let's see if we can get something to eat at the cafeteria.”
>“Get me a class of water first,” MalO said.
>Right, that.
>While MalO emptied her stomach you got ready.
>You hadn't showered last night – or the day before, actually – so you took one now.
>You eviscerated a suitcase to find clean clothes.
>By the time you finished MalO had just finished brushing her teeth.
>It was a sight that had taken you a while to get used to.
>“I need to wash too, my fur is getting all matted.”
“You want to do that now?”
>“No, I don't want to be outside with wet fur.”
>You made a mental note to give her a shampooing later.
>You stepped outside and took a deep breath.
>It was sunny and the air smelled like pine needles.
>You could hear the wind and the birds in the trees, with just a slight mechanical whirring sound in the distance.
>All things considered, it was pretty nice.
>A sign outside the building directing you toward different facilities.
>The cafeteria was in the same building as maintenance, cleaning services, recreational services, etc.
>Basically all the stuff a giant supernatural containment facility does when it's not on duty.
>The smells as you entered the cafeteria were familiar
>But the sights weren't.
>It looked like staff and contained...people...things all just ate together.
>Researchers in suits were eating omelettes
>Guards in riot gear were eating bacon and eggs
>A guy with semi-transparent skin like those see-through aquarium fish was eating a stack of pancakes
>A pair of red skinned salamander people were chewing what looked like bark
>A woman was drinking a smoothie while the large fanged mouth in the back of her head was tearing through a chicken carcass
>And here you were feeling self-conscious about bringing MalO to a public place like this.
>Several people noticed when you came in and started clapping
>The rest heard and joined in.
>When the applause died down someone walked over to you.
>“Hello, I'm Miranda Larson, I'm the researcher who will be in charge of working with SCP-1471. That would be you,” she nodded at MalO.
“Her name is MalO.”
>“Right, sorry. It's a professional thing. We only use SCP designations during testing or research but off the clock things can be less formal. Speaking of which, I hope the clapping didn't make you uncomfortable. That's just how they greet new people around here.”
>She extended a hand.
>It wasn't the best first impression, but you were willing to give the benefit of the doubt. You and MalO each shook her hand.
>She explained how the cafeteria system worked as you headed to get your food.
>“You have an allowance for food for each meal – breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Anything over that allowance you have to pay out of pocket.”
“How are we supposed to make money here, exactly?”
>“You can see if you can get a job on-site. Cleaning, cooking, maybe even filing paperwork. Anything that doesn't involve a security clearance.”
>“We both worked from home,” MalO said. “I made apps and Anon designed websites. Can we keep doing that?”
>Miranda pursed her lips.
>“Maybe. Possibly. Anything either of you make would need to be thoroughly screened for security reasons.”
>You got your food and continued talking.
>The food was actually pretty good.
>She told you who to talk to to see about continuing with your old jobs.
>Even though you were now basically paid for you still wanted to work.
>You didn't just want to do nothing, and at the very least there were luxury items you wanted that you doubted the Foundation would provide.
>Games, mostly.
>It turned out they actually had pretty good internet here.
>All the traffic was heavily monitored and basically every click and keystroke was tracked in real time, but your steady diet of clickbait articles, fail videos, and /trash/ dumbassery could go uninterrupted.
>You didn't think you could bring yourself to browse porn with someone basically watching over your shoulder, though.

>The next few weeks settled into a rhythm.
>After some discussion and waiting, you and MalO were allowed to keep doing the work you had been doing.
>But everything first got sent to some code monkeys who picked everything apart and looked for security leaks or “anomalous properties.”
>They combed through your computers, too
>Luckily you had the forethought to delete your porn folder before you came here.
>Miranda met with both you and MalO for interviews and more physical exams.
>They wanted to watch MalO do her thing with the app and the stalking, but she said she didn't want to because she didn't want to risk not being able to get back.
>You tried asking about your mom but never got an answer.
>She was probably just working on something else, but it was like she just walked away and disappeared.
>You started getting to know the other people there.
>Some of the guards and scientists were aloof, some were pretty friendly. There weren't really any assholes, which surprised you.
>The other residents were...a mixed bag.
>Some of them looked strange, but then so did MalO so that didn't bother you.
>A lot of them seemed to be just ordinary people with weird powers and shit.
>MalO hit it off with one girl who could manipulate the objects in photographs.
>You got to know a guy who would randomly jump between universes against his will.
>There was an older man with extendable eyestalks who did performances for the staff and residents once a week.
>Then there were a handful like you, mundane people who were the family of anomalous entities.
>There were even a few kids running around, half-anomalous and half-mundane.
>Then one day
>With no warning
>Your dad showed up.
>You opened your door to answer the knock, expecting it to be a researcher, but there he was.
>“Heeeey, Anon!”
>You wondered for a moment if he just jumped the razor wire-topped wall somehow, but then saw a pair of guards standing behind him.
>He hugged you, MalO poked her head around the corner and he hugged her too.
>“Thought I'd come visit and see how you're doing!”
“How did you get here?”
>“Your mom told me you were here. Man, I always knew she was in some kinda top-secret work but this is really something else.”
“Wait, you knew?”
>“Well, I mean, kind of. She never talked about work, just kept dodging the question even though sometimes she'd be away for weeks at a time so I knew it had to be something hinky. Figured she was either secretly a binge hooker or in one of those jobs that's all 'I'd tell you but then I'd have to kill you.' I chose to believe the second option because it meant less STDs.”
>He cackled, and you laughed despite yourself. Somehow your dad never failed to cheer you up.
>“But she finally came clean! She called up a van and some guys drove me over here. Couldn't see anything on the way, but I made my own visions to pass the time if you know what I mean.”
>You knew exactly what he meant.
>“I don't know if they'll wipe my memory when I get outta here or if I'm just gonna be in on the secret from here on, but hey, at least you get to see me again!”
>He looked back outside. “Man, it's really nice here. You know, I wonder if I could move nearby here. Not only could I see you more often, but I'm pretty sure this place is somewhere in Colorado, and you know what that means?”
“Legal weed,” you said. It was a statement, not a question.
>“Exactly! I could start up a grow operation! I bet I could sell it to all the freaky things here – sorry MalO, no offense intended.”
>“None taken,” she said with a laugh.
>The two guards were looking at each other incredulously. You felt for them, the poor bastards.
>Your dad turned and looked at them as well. “Hey fellas, mind if I have a word with my son in private? Don't worry, I don't have anything stashed on me, plus you've got cameras all over the place so you'll see I'm not doing nothing.”
>Reluctantly, the guards went to stand outside the door. You closed it.
>Your dad's face got more serious.
>You had only seen him serious a few times in your life.
>“I bet you're pretty pissed at your mom right now, aren't you?”
>You weren't expecting that.
“Well I mean...”
>You tried to search for words.
“Yeah. I can see why she had to do what she did, but it all just happened so suddenly. And she didn't even say goodbye, she just disappeared when we got here and I haven't heard from her since then.”
>Your dad nodded slowly.
>“Anon, d'you know why I married your mother?”
“No?”
>To be honest, you had wondered that many times.
>“Because she's the most terrifying woman I've ever met. Not 'crazy psycho bitch' terrifying, but like a force of nature. She scared the shit out of me like a five-foot-five hurricane with great legs. When I first met her, I knew I only had two choices. Either I could run away, and keep running for the rest of my life and hope I never saw her again. Or I could marry her and stay in the eye of the storm. Well, I'm glad she said yes when I proposed 'cause the other option blew.”
>You nodded, trying to understand where he was going with this.
>“So she finally told me what's going on. It all just came out one night, she told me about the Foundation and you and MalO and how she stalked and basically kidnapped you. And I just listened and took it all in. Right now she's doing everything she can to keep you two safe. This Foundation...not gonna lie, they may be even scarier than she is. But ain't nothing short of a nuke dropped on her ass is going to keep her from protecting you. So if she hasn't been showing up, I'm sure it's for your own safety.”
>Everyone was silent for a moment. You nodded. MalO, who had also been listening, took your hand.
>“All right, I just wanted you to know that. Now where's the grub? I'm starving.”

>Your dad visited every few weeks after that.
>He brought stuff like junk food and things you couldn't get readily get in here
>Even smuggled in a few porn mags for you.
>They brought in a doctor for MalO
>Someone who worked for the Foundation and specialized in pregnant SCPs.
>As far as you could tell she was part doctor, part vet, part cryptozoologist and had to make a lot of it up on the fly
>Because zombie werewolves don't exactly have medical texts written on them.
>When she first showed up she looked at MalO, then at you
>You weren't sure if she was judging you for what you must have done to knock her up or if she was just thinking about medical complications.
>But she seemed to know what she was doing
>At least as much as anyone could in the circumstances.
>“If this was a human pregnancy,” she said after doing an exam and ultrasound, “I would label it high-risk because of the difficulty in carrying triplets to term and delivering them all healthy. But I have no idea what would be considered normal for MalO.”
>She pulled out some papers. They looked like the results of the examinations you had when you came here.
>They had been pretty intense, you and MalO had both gotten full-body X-rays, CT scans, and tissue samples.
>“Her anatomy and DNA are a mix of human and canine, plus some things we can't identify. But canines typically give birth to litters while humans typically have one offspring at a time. Triplets seems like a medium between those two, so as far as I can tell this seems normal.”
“Basically you have no idea so you're bullshitting an educated guess?”
>She laughed.
>“Don't tell them I said this, but that's most of what we do here.”
>This just confirmed your suspicions.
>The doctor came back every month for checkups.
>Eventually you found out the genders: two boys and a girl.
>One of the boys was developing slower than the others.
>This apparently might be a problem but there wasn't much you could do other than watch.
>You went through baby names
>So many baby names
>You finally decided on Viru and Saku for the boys, Narva for the girl.
>MalO started spending more and more time on the sofa or in the bed wrapped up in blankets.
>Building a nest.
>You started noticing a bump at about 3 months
>Her belly just kept getting bigger
>Like seriously when would it even stop
>Eventually you couldn't hug her from the front
>Or fug for that matter.
>Only from the side or behind.
>You started feeling kicks a little while later.
>With three of the little bastards in there it was like they were shooting a Bruce Lee movie.
>Nobody had any idea when they would be due.
>But they were developing like human babies
>So nine-months-maybe-question-mark?
>Eventually the doctor started living on-site
>Apparently there weren't any other pregnant SCPs who currently needed her attention.
>You started preparing the apartment for three babbehs.
>You had to order everything online but the Foundation covered some of the costs.
>Assembling IKEA cribs was...an experience.
>With all the preparation work, checkups, and getting adjusted to a new life
>You almost forgot that babies were actually going to happen
>Until suddenly they did.
>You were asleep one night when MalO shook your shoulder.
>“I think I'm getting contractions.”
>As you woke up, you took a couple seconds to process what she said
>Then vaulted out of bed.
>You called the medical department, they sent some people over to take both of you to the on-site hospital.
>You were put in a room with less medical equipment than you expected.
>They said it would probably take a while and you should just make yourselves as comfortable as possible.
>The contractions came every several minutes
>Each time, MalO squeezed you tightly until it passed.
>It went on like that for like eight hours.
>[Contractions Intensify]
>Someone brought you food somewhere in that time, and coffee because you clearly wouldn't be getting any sleep.
>Then it started.
>You didn't know how you knew, but you could tell.
>You called for a doctor and before you knew it a whole team was in the room
>Monitors and tubes were hooked up in a blur.
>You tried your best to stay out of the way so you stood by the bed and held MalO's hand.
>MalO kept changing position, the doctors told her to do whatever was comfortable.
>She ended up settling on all fours
>In a different situation it might have been hot but at the moment nothing was further from your mind.
>The contractions became pushes
>Hollywood told you MalO would scream, but it was more like groaning mixed with something like a dog's whine.
>After several rounds of pushing you saw something
>It didn't really look like a head but it couldn't be anything else.
>After several more pushes what you saw was definitely a head.
>Then came the rest of the body.
>You didn't recognize the crying as crying at first.
>It sounded like a squeaky door crossed with a puppy.
>It was a boy.
>You had agreed the first one would be Viru.
>The baby got passed to you because MalO still had work to do.
>You were told to take off your shirt because he needed skin contact.
>Looking down you finally managed to take in his appearance.
>His skin was gray.
>The top half of his head was a dog skull with white eyes like MalO, but there wasn't a lower jaw.
>Instead he had a human mouth and cheeks.
>On his head were two pointy dog ears with soft black fuzz.
>There was a thin layer of black hair on his head and around his neck
>And more fur on the back of each arm and the front of each leg.
>A thin stripe of fur ran all the way down his spine and onto a short tail.
>He looked wrinkly and wet.
>Not surprising considering he just pushed himself out of a vagina.
>The overall picture was a small, naked gray-skinned goblin wearing a skull mask, crying angrily and wiggling in your arms.
>You fell in love instantly.
>There were still two more coming, but you wondered what you could do to calm this little guy down.
>“Try singing to him,” one of the attending nurses suggested.
>You listened to a lot of music, and you were pretty indiscriminate.
>You once torrented heavy metal and country and in the same day.
>There were easily five thousand songs you could theoretically have called up from your memory.
>But somehow
>In that moment
>You could only think of one.
“We're no strangers to love...”
>Your firstborn child came into this world just to be Rickrolled.
>Everyone in the room paused for a moment with whatever they were doing
“You know the rules, and so do I...”
>Then when they confirmed what they were hearing, they all started laughing.
“It's the only thing I can think of, OK?!”
>Even MalO started to laugh, which triggered a new wave of pushing.
>Soon after that your second child was born.
>This one was the girl, Narva.
>whycantiholdallthesebabies.jpg
>You didn't even feel secure holding one baby, so you didn't want to try to carry two.
>A nurse held her instead.
>Now it was just a waiting game for the third one.
>It couldn't have been more than fifteen minutes before the final rounds of pushing.
>But as soon as you saw the head, you could tell something was wrong.
>The color of the third baby, Saku, was different than the others.
>More
>Blue.
>The doctors saw it too and started using words you couldn't understand.
>But any sort of code usually wasn't a good sign.
>When he was finally all the way out, he didn't start crying like the others.
>In fact, he wasn't even moving.
>You felt a growing sense of dread as they started hooking him up to sensors.
>“There's no heartbeat.”
>“Give him to me,” MalO said.
>They put your baby, still blue and unmoving, into a small cart and wheeled him over to MalO's bedside.
>She stroked his forehead
>And howled.
>The sound felt like it was piercing through your chest.
>A doctor spoke up.
>“We may still be able to - ”
>“NO! No you can't!” MalO's howl turned to a sob.
>Nobody tried to press the issue.
>She struggled to sit up, and two nurses helped her.
>She looked at you and the nurse who was holding Narva, and held out her arms.
>You could see tears running down her skull.
>You relinquished your burden, and she cradled your two living children while swaying slowly
>With the corpse of your third next to her bed.
>A hand tapped your shoulder and you spun around.
>Your fist was half raised without you realizing it.
>It was the researcher Miranda.
>“Mr. Anonson, could you please come outside with me for a moment?”
>You didn't want to leave MalO's side
>But the part of you that always remained impartial and detached said it was probably something important.
>You stepped outside and saw your parents.
>You had just seen your dad a week ago, but this was the first time seeing your mom since you came here.
>They were both breathing heavily like they had just been running.
>Your dad sat down on a nearby bench and stared out a window.
>Looked like he would be sitting this one out.
>All the emotions swirling through your head like a cloud finally found something to condense onto.
“Where the fuck have you been.”
>“I came as soon as I heard that MalO was in labor. I picked up your father on the way here. I just heard what happened to the third child. Anon, I – I'm so sorry.”
>You imagined yelling. You imagined screaming at her. You imagined punching her in the face over and over while detailing every single way she had been a bitch to you.
>You didn't do any of it. All you said was
“And?”
>She twisted her eyebrows in confusion.
“There's more, isn't there?”
>
“You disappeared for seven months, now you find out one of them is d-”
>You almost choked on the word but pushed through it
“Dead, and you run here. You aren't just here to say sorry, are you?”
>She closed her eyes and sighed.
>“With your and MalO's permission, and only with your permission, we want to perform an autopsy.”
“And there it is!”
>You threw your arms out and laughed. That detached part of you said you were getting hysterical.
“You want to cut up my baby and study him, stick him in a shelf on a jar or something! I bet you even wanted this to happen, didn't you?”
>“NO!” She shook her head, shoulders hunched. “God no. You really think I would want my grandchild to die?”
>Grandchild.
>That word brought you back to your senses.
“...Of course not, I'm sorry I said it.”
>She hugged you.
>“I'm sorry too. I wanted to come and see you more, I really did, but...it's complicated.”
>She let you go. Her eyes were watery.
>“I've done everything I can to keep all of you safe. But when the news got out that there would be triplets – well some of the researchers saw it as an opportunity. One researcher wanted to just take two of them away. One to keep for long-term testing, and one for...” she trailed off.
>“A chair struck him repeatedly in the head, resulting in a skull fracture and concussion. When he got out of the hospital, I flatly refused. But still, research is a high priority for the Foundation. Permitting them to study...”
“Saku. His name is Saku.”
>“Permitting them to study Saku should satisfy my superiors enough that they won't try to do anything drastic.”
>You put your head in your hands.
>This was almost too much.
>But your family was just behind that door and they needed you.
“I need to talk to MalO.”
>“Of course.”
>You walked into the room.
>The doctors and nurses were all working silently as you walked to MalO's side.
>“Let them,” she said.
“You heard?”
>“Yes. It's for the best.”
>She leaned over and gently licked Saku's forehead.
>You stroked his ears. They were cold.
>You didn't want to let go.
>You let go.
>A nurse wheeled him away.

>You barely registered what happened next.
>And yet somehow, you remembered every bit of it.
>MalO had to learn how to breastfeed twins.
>You had to learn how to change and wash them.
>You slept in 20 minute bursts punctuated by crying.
>It should have been wonderful.
>But somehow everything felt gray and lifeless.
>You couldn't bring yourself to cry.
>The funeral was two days after the birth.
>Just inside the wall toward the back of the site.
>Your parents were there.
>Viru and Narva were sleeping in a carriage, wrapped up in soft blankets.
>Some of the other residents and researchers who you'd gotten to know where there as well.
>The site director was the speaker. You had never interacted with him but he seemed decent enough from what you'd heard of him.
>A couple of guards serving as pallbearers arrived.

>Fuck, coffins should not be that small.

>That thought was what pushed you over the edge.
>You hugged MalO tightly from the side and sobbed.
>She twisted in your arms and hugged you back, starting to weep also.
>You didn't hear what the speaker said.
>You didn't see the coffin lowered into the ground.
>All you could perceive were the sounds of you and MalO grieving.
>Then
>You didn't know how much later
>Something cut through your bubble of despair.
>It was a third cry, like a creaky howl.
>It was soon joined by another.
>You and MalO broke apart.
>“They're hungry,” MalO said, looking down at Narva and Viru.
“They need us.”
>She smilelaughcried at this.
>She picked up Viru, and you picked up Narva.
>The people around you didn't pay any attention to you, probably on purpose.
>“They do, they're totally dependent on us.”
>“Does focusing on them mean forgetting Saku?”
>You thought while she arranged Viru into a feeding position. You handed her Narva and she did the same again.
“No, I don't think so. But we can't -”
>Your throat clenched and you felt yourself almost start crying again, but you swallowed it back down.
“We can't help him any more. But we can do everything we can for them.”
>You softly kissed the forehead of one, and then the other, and then MalO.

>Ten years later
>Food? Check.
>Beer? Check.
>Stronger booze? Check.
>Keeping your dad away from all three long enough for this thing to get underway? Work in progress.
>You scanned down the two dozen other items in the list.
>Who knew being a best man was so involved?
>You had less to do at your own wedding.
>“Dad! How do I look?”
>Narva ran out of the kids' bedroom. She was wearing a light, lacy white flower girl dress.
>Her milky eyes that looked so much like MalO's seemed to sparkle and she was beaming with excitement.
>When she was a baby everyone said she had your mouth.
>Well, the alternatives were pretty limited.
“Beautiful!”
>You put a hand between her fuzzy ears and ruffled her long black hair.
>She smacked your hand away. “Don't! I just spent ten minutes brushing it!”
“All right, sorry,” you said with a laugh.
>Viru followed her out.
>He was moving stiffly in a suit and tie that matched your own, specially modified for his tail to poke out the back.
>You considered trying to tidy his short, scruffy hair but decided against it
>Combing it down and giving it a part reminded you too much of staged family photos.
>Normally they would be in school.
>Between the families of SCPs and the families of on-site staff and researchers, the site had about twenty school-aged kids.
>Their teacher allowed them to have today off, however.
>Partly because she wanted to come as well.
“How's your mom doing?”
>“She's almost ready,” Viru said.
>At that moment she came out of the bathroom.
>She was in a ruffly green dress she had bought from China.
>Damn, a decade later and she still looked hot.
“Everyone ready to go? We need to get stuff set up.”
>“Don't forget to bring the gift,” MalO reminded you.
>You scanned down the checklist.
>Right, that one slipped by you.
>You grabbed the package and headed out the door.
>The wedding was held in the cafeteria.
>Most of the staff were present, as were many of the SCPs.
>Some of the staff were now your coworkers.
>After a couple years of living here you managed to get a position as a researcher.
>When you first applied they said something about conflict of interest, but after trying several times you got in.
>You suspected your mom pulled a few strings for you.
>You bustled around greeting people as they came in and herding them around.
>Your parents showed up shortly after you.
>Your dad looked a little bit more fat and bald than when you had last seen him.
>Your mom looked the same as ever.
>Except no
>She definitely looked happier.
>They hugged you and MalO, then Viru and Narva.
>Your mom went off to meet the other people attending while your dad played with your kids.
>He fucking loved being a grandpa.
>Neither of them ever asked if you were going to have more kids.
>They probably knew the answer and understood the reason without needing to ask.
>You still thought about Saku every now and then, his tiny lifeless body that never even got a chance.
>It still hurt, but it was an old hurt. A stale hurt.
>The years after that had so many joys piled on top of the hurt that it hadn't really influenced your life in a long time.
>But still, you and MalO agreed that you didn't want to risk that again.
>You had two kids who were happy, healthy, and brilliantly alive.
>And that was enough.
>Just as you were starting to worry, the two men of the hour came in.
>Agents Anders and Jackson, the ones who brought you here in the first place.
>They came here pretty often and became quite good friends with you and MalO.
>To be honest, you'd had your suspicions about them for a long time.
>Two people can't spend that much time sitting together in an unmarked white van for that many years unless they get along _really_ well.
>You had no idea which of them proposed, but they asked you to be the best man.
>The crowd of people cheered as they walked in, just like they had cheered for you and MalO the first time you came here.
>You spoke up and told everyone to get to their seats.
>You sat in the front row with MalO next to you. Narva sat by you, and Viru sat by MalO.
>As a researcher, you worked with the sapient entities here and were occasionally called to other sites.
>You tried as much as possible to push for humane containment methods.
>You were a small part of a broader movement toward more ethical practices overall.
>The topic was complicated and you were aware of the problems, but things were already changing.
>You hoped that by the time Viru and Narva turned 18, containment policies would have changed enough that they could leave.
>And go to college, get jobs
>Maybe even find someone to hook up with.
>It was a big dream, but one you had spent most of the past ten years pushing for.
>As the minister walked onto the makeshift stage, you took MalO's hand.
>You saw Viru snuggling up to MalO, although he'd deny it if you said he was.
>You wrapped an arm around Narva, and she leaned into you.
>Life was good.