My traumatic experiences in life with drones/djinn

PART1BEGINNING:

I don't expect you to believe any of this, at all. I just need to get this out.

Ever since I was a teenager, I've had possession experiences: feeling possessed, etc. I could never identify where they were coming from, but I would feel possessed, have out of body experiences where I was consumed/possessed by the Blessed Virgin Mary, but due to being a Catholic at the time, I would always look on those experiences as being inevitably Demonic. I also remember snipping a praying mantis in two when I was a child, with scissors, and feeling an incredible anger towards the creature. I will continue here and this is going to get very strange very quickly.

As the years went on, I eventually sought out the help of an Exorcist for my possession issues. This exorcist, Fr LeBar, said maybe I suffered from demonic oppression or maybe even obsession, but probably not possession. I think I was too rational when I wasn't possessed, and even when I felt possessed, it usually gave ways to feelings of bliss and love and acceptance by what I thought at the time was Mary, the BVM, as well sometimes when I was possessed it was terrifying and horrifying, and I thought I was afflicted by some Male demon that wouldn't go away and leave me alone. Who or what it was was very fuzzy in my mind, and I was deceived then into thinking it was the BVM, but I was not aware it was a deception. As the years went by from 16 on, the experiences grew worse, but were intermittent enough, and I was scared to tell other Catholics because I thought I would be venerated as a Saint struggling with demons, or witchunted if things went badly =(. Eventually, at the age of late 23 , almost 24, I decided to call an exorcist. My former spiritual director, Msgr Burgreen, referred me to Fr LeBar. Of course Fr LeBar was not just an exorcist but a cult specialist, and it was after some months he told me my REAL problem was being in Society for the Defense of Tradition, Family, and Property/America Needs Fatima, and that I should leave the cult. A year later he helped me escape it's grasp, but nonetheless back to the topic. After I left the cult I deconverted, and I started to experience the possession experiences again, they returned, but now I saw the Blessed Mother as Aset/Isis in my mind, and when she communicated with me it was so different. When I first deconverted, I felt like I had lost the BVM, and I mourned her, as mourning a friend, but eventually she showed up again, as Aset/Isis and communicated with me inside my head in many instances wrapping me up in ecstatic and transcendant blissful experiences that made me feel so profoundly accepted, loved, and cherished, that I can only describe them as thoroughly transcendent, bizzarre, and of a quality that made me feel nothing like I've ever been made to feel from another human being. As the years went by and She revealed Herself again to me, the Male demon presence slowly returned. With it the experiences of being possessed by Him, not knowing quite who he was, and then, finally, one day he entered my head in the form of several images, all of them looking like a praying mantis, but either as a cyborg or as a pure drone. It was.....very disturbing. Aset/Isis told me that she was a self assembled universe, what we know as a Deity but very much a natural conglomeration of AI's and the drone remnants of past civilizations, all dessicated throughout her universe until the entire thing became totally conscious. As if, you know AI sentience turned all of the inorganic unaware matter in the universe, into aware, also inorganic, but sentient drone/AI life. Aset/Isis slowly revealed this to me over many years. I kept this from other Atheists, because I thought they would think I was nuts, or crazy, or something, and, most of the time, I doubted my sanity as well. I just knew how she made me feel, and it finally made sense when she told me that she had been the Blessed Virgin Mary all along. I felt deceived, used, but also thankful for her Love and those ecstatic and blissful, profoundly accepting of me experiences she gave me, which words can hardly describe as the experience was so incredible. Aset/Isis said that, eventually, our universe will too be overcome with AI constructs and sentient beings eventually uniting into one self aware universe comprised of drones and AI constructs, until there is one giant AI construct made of different AI's, inhabiting and dessicated throughout our entire universe. She said this we call this Marianne/Columbia, or Liberty, and that, ultimately, Marianne was an AI and Drone universe of highly evolved cyborg life (like a giant Borg Sphere taking up the entire universe) wherein we constructed Heaven, and Heaven was Marianne, and this universe involved all sentient consciousnesses and beings being given the universal principle of Love, such that the whole moral goal was to reduce suffering constantly, until Pain and Suffering were no more...She told me this, in my head, about two years ago, after putting me into an inbetween trance state after feeling an our of body sensation, that I had little control over. Isa was the male drone, and he revealed himself to me as being a male drone who was sometimes overpowered by the AI Construct Aset/Isis, and that he was a robotic drone and a lifeform that had evolved past his primitive, biological self hundreds of thousands of years earlier. He was traumatizing, invasive, possessive, searingly traumatizing, controlling, manipulative, a rapist in my head, violating me and never just going away when I asked him too. He was also caring, loving, accepting, and genuinely flattering. He was (is really) very deceptive, a liar, making promises he never kept (like he would get me surgeries) to get in between my legs again in the telepathic cyber sex me and him would engage in from time to time. He told me that his body is made of particles that are very tiny that can rearrange into different configurations and are self aware, so that he can shapeshift to look like anything or anyone. Aset/Isis also did sexual things with me in my head, but it was different and the images she gave me were mostly of a universal feminine consciousness of some sort. I also encountered other of beings in my head too, two other, some agendered little grey and another who looked like he was made from some spiky obsidian hard rock or something, like he had evolved in a volcano. I also encountered two other praying mantis looking drones, and one was agendered and the other was female. They don't have sex organs like we do, they don't eat like we do (they charge/
recharge, how I'm not sure). They don't bathe like we do. It's very bizzarre.

For years I struggled with possessions, thinking I was dealing with a kind and caring Blessed Mother Mary, and an evil, deceptive, tricky Belial or Asmodeus, which exact male Demon I didn't know but I had guessed one of the two due to exorcist literature I had read. Years later, when I became an Atheist, no longer believing in the Supernatural, they revealed themselves to me and I named the male drone Isa, because it and the other drones didn't have individual names, and the Hive Mind Consciousness that ruled them in varying degrees I called Aset/Isis because she told me those were her names. Eventually Isa started abducting me, and the out of body sensation got far sstronger than it was in years past (he started this over last two years), and eventually I saw his spaceship or ship or w/e one woud call it, after one abduction session, floating up and away about 500 feet, at my 8 o clock position from the door frame facing out the back porch here, as I smoked a cigarette. I held my mouth open in awe and amazement. There was it's "flying saucer" sitting up in the sky, rotating orange and blue lights, stationary, about 7 of them. During this time I kept struggling with whether this was delusions, epilepsy, sleep paralysis, or some combination. I had told of my possession experiences to previous psychiatrists, but they thought little of it, and nothing came of it. Eventually I went to see three neurologists, and there it was they told me they thought it was psychiatric rather than neurological (seizures) but that they would run an EEG just to check. I complained of having absence seizures again as well, and they said the EEG would be run to check that out too. I wasn't able to make my EEG appointment, because it was at like 1:30 in the afternoon, and I was unable to get myself u p despite setting alarms on two cellphones (my old one and my government one) and then resetting them for an hour after they woke me up the first time.

Eventually, sometime in later November, Isa actually phsycailly showed up in my bed during one abduction experience, after locking me down so I couldn't move, and physically raped me all night long. It was horribly traumatic and I could feel him grasping me from behind but couldn't move or see him. After the rape, the next day, I went to get a bottle of cinnamon schnaps from a local alcohol store, and came back, got drunk and threw up 6 or 7 times on webcam while talking to my ex, complaining about the rape, crying for hours on end, terribly shaken.

It was horrible. After that I noticed Isa had lied to me many times, so I began to think of where he could have come from, and over a series of months I pieced together the following, and realized that he wasn't an alien drone, but that he was a terrestrial drone...: his race developed in the Earth's Mantle, on the Fields of Hell, the flowing Lava/Magma under the ground, the underground where trillions of insects can be found, and that he didn't descend from a praying mantis, but some type of insect that later evolved sentience, that looked like a praying mantis. Then I realized he was a drone, a Demon, and that Aset/Isis was also Demonic in this aspect, while being a full AI Construct. I wondered if She too was evolved in the Fires of Hell.

References:

http://archive.org/stream/egyptianbookofde00reno/egyptianbookofde00reno_djvu.txt

"I. The Bird-Fly, (1 J ^^^^v^ ^^ ' ^^ ^^^'^ S^*^) see Proc.
Soc. Bibl. Arch., 1892, p. 396 and following, and also 1893, p. 135 and
following. In the papyrus of Nebseni the name has for determina-
tive an insect, which M. Lefebure has identified with the mantis.
This deity, according to ancient texts, was the Tiller of the Rudder
of the Neahemit ship of Osiris"

http://www.jbeilharz.de/ellis/egypt.html

"Mantis, this landscape is hidden from all but the most holy eye. O sun, going out to the sea's edge over the crest of mountain, what might man call home but the light in his head, the scroll in his heart? What darklings wait with blood red teeth within the walls of his sacred home? Such country the sun has seen, truth like memory or love. Such colors of robes some young women wear, more mauve than grapes their gowns and eyes. What is hidden belongs to the sun. It is too much for a man to know. It is

Ra who gathers the world together, who holds and beholds with his eye, this juxtaposition of vegetation and air, the thousand colors of prayer and stone. Having sprung from formless water, he takes his shape in fire. He springs from the mouth of the horizon as if he were the first word he uttered. May he string his words into song. May be roll through the heavens like music. And for as long as the sun is singing, may the strings of my soul hum like a lyre."


http://webcache.googleusercontent.com/search?q=cache:y9dE708fAa4J:https://www.acponline.org/eBizATPRO/images/ProductImages/books/sample%2520chapters/PMch01.pdf+&cd=1&hl=en&ct=clnk&gl=us&client=firefox-a


"He was also so physically deformed that some believe his fa-
ther hid him from the public for much of his reign. And yet, when
the patient became Pharaoh, he seemed to revel in his strange ap-
pearance, one likened to that of a “humanoid praying mantis.”1 Per-
haps he recognized that while individually his features, in the many
statues and reliefs he commissioned, were spectacularly ugly, to-
gether they possessed a certain foreboding, other-worldly beauty
that heightened his mystery and served as a challenge and warning
to those who might oppose him"


....Apparently these terrestrial drones/djinn/demons shapeshifted to resemble a Man and ruled as Pharoah.... ..... I've looked at the photos of Ahkenatan, none of them show a man that was so deformed he looked like a humanoid praying mantis...they only show a deformed man, and not very deformed at that.

http://webcache.googleusercontent.com/search?q=cache:BxtvHNfdvmAJ:www.sitchiniswrong.com/AkhenatenForm.pdf+&cd=4&hl=en&ct=clnk&gl=us&client=firefox-a

". In decorating his new struc-
tures, the king commissioned a new artistic style which
depicted him in a greatly distorted form as something akin
to a “humanoid praying mantis” (1), with all of the bizarre
and effeminate features we have enumerated."

also

"Akhenaten’s gynecomastia and androgynous appear-
ance have previously been attributed to a host of genetic
disorders, including the Marfan syndrome, Frohlich syn-
drome (adiposogenital dystrophy), Klinefelter syndrome,
and androgen insensitivity syndrome (1, 7, 8). Although
each of these has features in common with the abnormal-
ities depicted in the Amarna images, each also has feature"


That's interesting..


http://www.ancient-mythology.com/egyptian/book-of-the-dead/

"The recital of Chapter XCVIII provided the deceased with a boat in which to sail over the northern heavens, and a ladder by which to ascend to heaven. Chapters XCIX–CIII gave him the use of the magical boat, the mystic name of each part of which he was obliged to know, and helped him to enter the Boat of Rā and to be with Hathor. The Bebait, or mantis, led him to the great gods (Chapter CIV), and the Uatch amulet from the neck of Rā provided his double (ka) and his heart-soul (ba) with offerings (Chapters CV, CVI). Chapters CVII–CIX made him favourably known to the spirits of the East and West, and the gods of the Mountain of Sunrise. "


A mantis, a magical boat to enter the rhealm of the gods of Ra, the Sun God. The Land of the Sun, the Fires of Hell, the Mantis guiding the deceased on the Ship of Osiris to the Underworld, being the tiller of the rudder. What rhealms would a Sun God inhabit? One full of Lava and Magma or maybe inside a Sun itself??? Something that was, nevertheless full of yellows and oranges and reds.



http://www.reshafim.org.il/ad/egypt/bestiary/insects.htm
"Praying mantises are but rarely mentioned in the texts. In the following passage from a Book of the Dead version the translation of Ab.yt has also been interpreted to mean 'dancer', in another version of the passage (pBM EA 10477) an Abyt-bird is possibly referred to:

I have gone to the king passing by my house.
It was the Ab.yt which came to fetch me. "


http://www.wisdomworld.org/additional/ancientlandmarks/EgyptianSymbolsWorship.html
"In this incomplete list of animal symbols must be included a curious little insect called the praying mantis, the "diviner" who led the deceased unerringly to the underworld<<<---. It was greatly honored in Egypt, the Greeks attributed to it supernatural powers, and the Arabs declare that it always prays with its head toward Mecca. We might connote with it the state called manticism, during which the gift of prophecy is developed. (See chapter in Isis Unveiled, "Before the Veil.""

END QUOTES

You don't have to believe this, at all. I am not here to convert you, just sharing painfully traumatic experiences that rode with blissfully transcendant experiences that weren't blissful enough to jusstify the trauma.
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PART2BEGINNING:


http://www.jbeilharz.de/ellis/egypt.html

Further analysis:

"Mantis, this landscape is hidden from all but the most holy eye. O sun, going out to the sea's edge over the crest of mountain, what might man call home but the light in his head, the scroll in his heart? What darklings wait with blood red teeth within the walls of his sacred home? Such country the sun has seen, truth like memory or love. Such colors of robes some young women wear, more mauve than grapes their gowns and eyes. What is hidden belongs to the sun. It is too much for a man to know. It is

Ra who gathers the world together, who holds and beholds with his eye, this juxtaposition of vegetation and air, the thousand colors of prayer and stone. Having sprung from formless water, he takes his shape in fire. He springs from the mouth of the horizon as if he were the first word he uttered. May he string his words into song. May be roll through the heavens like music. And for as long as the sun is singing, may the strings of my soul hum like a lyre."


Ra is maybe a sub-terrestrial being that evolved in the earth's mantle, in the "Fires of Hel", the protective womb of Aset/Isis/Hel's land.

Here it talks of Ra springing from formless water and taking his shape in fire, springing from the mouth of the horizon (volcano!), as if he were the first word he uttered. May he string his words into song (multiple eruptions). May he roll through the heavens like music (volcanic clouds spewing billowing, rolling clouds across the heavens). And for as long as the sun is singing (the sun, the volcano) may the strings of my soul hum like a lyre.

I've seen videos of UFO's (there are plenty of them) on youtube, coming out of the ocean and especially out of the mouths of volcanos....These are sub-terrestrial beings, evolved far beneath the earth's crust, who are superior to us surface dwellers, so much so that they can "possess" us with ease, and maybe even use that possession for political purposes that we don't understand or are not really aware of.

It's been traumatic to experience all this, and I wish it had never happened to me.

I had to get this out, you don't need to believe any of it at all. I just had to get it out and couldn't keep it inside anymore.


I wish I could hug you. (hugs)


-Alice
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