Paras says:
 i'm trying to talk to you
 if you don't want to talk
 just let me know
 is everything okay?
Non sum qualis eram says:
 brb
Paras says:
 alright
Non sum qualis eram says:
 back
 and no
Paras says:
 what's wrong amie
 talk to me
 please
Non sum qualis eram says:
 i dont know whats wrong
 i feel like
 im having the emotional version of a panic attack
 im just scared of everything and very fragile and stressed out
Paras says:
 sweetie..
Non sum qualis eram says:
 and i dont know why
Paras says:
 close your eyes and focus on your breathing for 10 seconds
 just focus on your breathing
Non sum qualis eram says:
 that wont help me
Paras says:
 how do you know?
Non sum qualis eram says:
 ive tried
Paras says:
 alright.
Non sum qualis eram says:
 i feel so on edge
 and i feel like
 i cant even talk to you about it
 and that makes me so upset
Paras says:
 what
 why cant you talk to me about it?
Non sum qualis eram says:
 because theres always the chance that youll randomly get mad at me
Paras says:
 when im asking you whats wrong and trying to offer ways to help
 ugh amie
Non sum qualis eram says:
 its not a conscious thing, paras
 im just so used to you getting mad at me that it stops me from opening up fully
 and letting you take care of me
Paras says:
 youre telling me this now when during the week you claimed to have opened up to me fully
 so what is it
 now that im far away you cant?
Non sum qualis eram says:
 oh
 lol
 brb
Paras says:
 ...
 lol
 okay
 because it's so funny
Non sum qualis eram says:
 its not funny
 its just
 exactly what i thought
Paras says:
 nevermind
Non sum qualis eram says:
 yeah, nevermind amie's feelings
Paras says:
 of course
Non sum qualis eram says:
 thanks paras!
Paras says:
 yup
 lol
 because it's so funny
 even when i try to help you can't open up to me, when you apparently could when i was down there, and now it's back to this, i'm wondering why you can't open up to me now as opposed to earlier
 which is what you thought?
 if you can't talk to me, then i guess you can't talk to me
Non sum qualis eram says:
 you are freaking out
 and getting upset
 and making something that is bothering me something about YOU
 and youre getting upset at me
 i cant handle this right now
Paras says:
 i asked for a simple explanation which you havent given me thus far
 so
 alright
Non sum qualis eram says:
 talk to me whenever you can actually help me
 and not make it into another time where i cheer you up
Paras says:
 .....
 good night, amie.
Non sum qualis eram says:
 hi
Paras says:
 ?
Non sum qualis eram says:
 usually when people say hello, you reply with a greeting
Paras says:
 what's up?
Non sum qualis eram says:
 oh, that's better
 not a lot
 you
Paras says:
 nothing
Non sum qualis eram says:
 are you ready to talk about it yet
Paras says:
 no sorry, i have better things to do
 like ignore you
 just repaying the favour
Non sum qualis eram says:
 alright
Paras says:
 yup, i've reached the limit where if you don't want to talk to me and ignore the only means of communication, i really am not in any mood to talk to you at all
 and considering you're the one who told me to go away and talk to you when i tried, there was nothing, lol
Non sum qualis eram says:
 well
 it doesnt help that whenever something is bothering me, you make it about you
 as i predicted
 you could at least try to prove me wrong once and a while
 and when you "tried"
 you left petty voicemails on my phone
Paras says:
 lol
Non sum qualis eram says:
 i dont really consider that trying
Paras says:
 because i knew you wouldnt pick up
 what a joke
 whatever
Non sum qualis eram says:
 why should i pick up
Paras says:
 whatever
 go ahead and keep ignoring me
Non sum qualis eram says:
 im not right now?
Paras says:
 bye!
Non sum qualis eram says:
 i actually want to
 okay bye
 i actually want to make things better and make sure that neither of us goes to sleep angry at the other person, but since im the only one that wants that, i guess  that its not going to happen
 so goodnight paras
Paras says:
 LOL
 what a joke
 sorry amie, let''s have you on the receiving end of getting the silent treatment for once
paras.kapoor.06@gmail.com says:
 if you want to talk, we can do it over the phone. if not, fine. good night
Non sum qualis eram says:
 no
 i dont feel like being yelled at by you and crying tonight
paras.kapoor.06@gmail.com says:
 fine
Non sum qualis eram says:
 we'll do it here
paras.kapoor.06@gmail.com says:
 I'm not going to yell so
Non sum qualis eram says:
 i cant trust you on that
paras.kapoor.06@gmail.com says:
 and Im not in the mood for this
 fine ten don't
Non sum qualis eram says:
 yeah well
 im not in the mood for having a boyfriend that makes everything about him
paras.kapoor.06@gmail.com says:
 I'm not really ready to talk to a girlfriend who dictates the fucking rules either
Non sum qualis eram says:
 well, see
paras.kapoor.06@gmail.com says:
 you had a choice whether or not to talk to me earlier
 so
Non sum qualis eram says:
 the thing is
paras.kapoor.06@gmail.com says:
 you chose bottom
 not to*
Non sum qualis eram says:
 im the one that was upset and you made it about you
paras.kapoor.06@gmail.com says:
 I'm going amie
Non sum qualis eram says:
 i figure you grab your fucking balls and start acting like a man
paras.kapoor.06@gmail.com says:
 I didn't make it about me
Non sum qualis eram says:
 instead of like a child
paras.kapoor.06@gmail.com says:
 lol
Non sum qualis eram says:
 i need you to be here for me and youre not doing a good job at it
 yeah LOL lets laugh it up
 hahahahaha so funny
paras.kapoor.06@gmail.com says:
 yeah cause you sure did
Non sum qualis eram says:
 so that makes it cool for you to keep bringing that up?
 its very petty
paras.kapoor.06@gmail.com says:
 amie I'm not arguing with you here
 thats it
Non sum qualis eram says:
 id appreciate if you could get online to speak to me
 i dont have the patience to have this on the phone
paras.kapoor.06@gmail.com says:
 no, I'm not letting you dictate the rules after you ignored my phonically
 and i don't have the patience for here
Non sum qualis eram says:
 you havent even let me explain why
 but alright
 either fucking get your ass online or we arent speaking tonight
 i hope you go to sleep knowing that you hurt me
 and keep the image in your head
paras.kapoor.06@gmail.com says:
 likewise
Non sum qualis eram says:
 of what it looks like
 to make me cry
paras.kapoor.06@gmail.com says:
 likewise, because you're such an innocent party to all this
Non sum qualis eram says:
 uh
 i am
 what the hell did i do to you
paras.kapoor.06@gmail.com says:
 okay
 amie
Non sum qualis eram says:
 i was stressed about things that dont have anything to do with you?
 and
paras.kapoor.06@gmail.com says:
 we aren't speaking tonight
 okay
Non sum qualis eram says:
 okay, lovely
 we can talk once you've dealt with your insecurities
 but im guessing that might be a while
paras.kapoor.06@gmail.com says:
 sure
 goad me more
 thats so helpful
 and makese
 me more likely to get online
 right ?
Non sum qualis eram says:
 the fact that im upset should be enough.
paras.kapoor.06@gmail.com says:
 I am sick and tired of you treating me like a ragdoll to play with. FINE, you didn't want to talk to me earlier? okay, I don't want to talk to you no
 now
 seems fair to me
Non sum qualis eram says:
 paras
 please come online
 id really appreciate it
paras.kapoor.06@gmail.com says:
 ugh
 will it even fucking matter?
Non sum qualis eram says:
 yeah it will
paras.kapoor.06@gmail.com says:
 I don't want to. and I always have to
Non sum qualis eram says:
 well
 im going to be honest here
paras.kapoor.06@gmail.com says:
 I don't believe you saying you'll appreciate it right now
Non sum qualis eram says:
 i needed you to be there for me, for my sake. you werent, you made it about you and got upset. you left, so i left.
 now we're both pretty upset.
 if we talk, things will have a higher chance of getting better
paras.kapoor.06@gmail.com says:
 no amie you Told me to go away and I didn't make it about me from my view
Non sum qualis eram says:
 if we talk on the phone, we'll yell at one another
 ill cry
 if you get online
 we can start to sort things out
 and after we're calmed down, we can go to the phone
 you did make it about you.
paras.kapoor.06@gmail.com says:
 um I'm not going to yell if you cant believe that then I'm sorry. when I've said I won't yell I actually don't
Non sum qualis eram says:
 if i cant believe that, you better be sorry
 i cant trust you not to get mad
paras.kapoor.06@gmail.com says:
 amie
 you
 ignored
 my
 calls
Non sum qualis eram says:
 and you left petty messages on my phone
paras.kapoor.06@gmail.com says:
 why should I bother to get online for you now?
Non sum qualis eram says:
 does that give me incentive to talk to you?
 i just explained it.
paras.kapoor.06@gmail.com says:
 this is ridiculous
 I don't want to talk about it online and you're forcing me to
Non sum qualis eram says:
 you can always just go to bed
 but you run the risk of hurting me by doing that
 i really hope you dont pick that
paras.kapoor.06@gmail.com says:
 you are
 so unfair
 it hurts
 you are so unfair
 it really does
 and you are
Non sum qualis eram says:
 how am i being unfair
paras.kapoor.06@gmail.com says:
 fine I'll get online
 see you in 5
 this just tells me like every time I'm the one bending to you
 and like everytime
 im doing something I don't want to for you
Non sum qualis eram says:
 not everytime
paras.kapoor.06@gmail.com says:
 and yet when I ask
 yea amie
Non sum qualis eram says:
 not everytime
paras.kapoor.06@gmail.com says:
 every
 freaking time
 i cant recall a single instance
Non sum qualis eram says:
 not everytime
paras.kapoor.06@gmail.com says:
 where a situation like this ended with a phonecall
 rather than a msn chat
 I'll see you in a bit
Non sum qualis eram says:
 okay
Paras says:
 i'm here
Non sum qualis eram says:
 okay
 thank you
Paras says:
 asking why you'd say something like i can't open up to you when you indicated if not said that you were open and relaxed with me when i was down there and feeling differently now doesn't make it about me, in my book
 i just asked, and you got upset about it
Non sum qualis eram says:
 did you notice
 that when i was there
 i was more open before we had that stupid fight
 and afterwards, i was more reserved?
Paras says:
 you were more reserved during the fight and after the fight and the next morning for a little bit, but not long after
Non sum qualis eram says:
 i had in the back of my mind
 that
 you were the guy that hurt me so much
 before then, i thought things were so much better and things were going to be alright
Paras says:
 fine
 why didnt you just tell me then
 you shouldve
 meh
Non sum qualis eram says:
 Non sum qualis eram says:
 i feel so on edge
 and i feel like
 i cant even talk to you about it
 and that makes me so upset
Paras says:
 what
 why cant you talk to me about it?
Non sum qualis eram says:
 because theres always the chance that youll randomly get mad at me
Paras says:
 when im asking you whats wrong and trying to offer ways to help
 ugh amie

Paras says:
 amie
 i
 dont want
 to
 go through
 the conversation
 one by one
Non sum qualis eram says:
 i do
Paras says:
 i dont
 sorry
Non sum qualis eram says:
 because you obviously dont understand
 why im even upset, do you
Paras says:
 I OBVIOUSLY DONT UNDERSTAND ANYTHING
 no amie
 i fucking dont
 and when i try to
Non sum qualis eram says:
 THATS WHY
 we should go through it?>
 so that you can understand?
 unless you just dont care?
Paras says:
 there's no need to go through the entire fucking conversation
 you can tell me why you were upset
 why you got more upset
 and how it went downhill
 ugh i fucking hate this so much
Non sum qualis eram says:
 i prefer to do it this way
Paras says:
 there's
 i cant even fucking say it
 fine
 go on
Non sum qualis eram says:
 im so scared all the time of you just randomly freaking out and flipping out and getting upset
 it seems like any time there's something wrong with me
 it becomes a situation where i have to cheer you up
 im so tired of that
Paras says:
 not any fucking time, amie
Non sum qualis eram says:
 that makes me feel so disconnected from you
Paras says:
 just like you say not everytime to what i said
Non sum qualis eram says:
 it happens more often than not
Paras says:
 not any fucking time or every fucking time
Non sum qualis eram says:
 JESUS CHRSIT PARaskjdfhzdsjkfhdjfkghdfjlghdf
 gdfjdfkjgdfgdgf
 fucking hold your tongue
 do you want this situation to get better or not
 yes or no
Paras says:
 yeah i do, but i dont want you to fucking walk all over me
 which is what this feels like
Non sum qualis eram says:
 im not, jesus christ
 okay
 thats it
 thats fucking it
 paras
 heres the bottom line
 you either need to grab your balls and be the man that you SHOULD already be
 or i cant do this anymore
 bottom line
 thats it
Paras says:
 alright
 i already knew this was coming
 i was expecting it anyway
 so walk away then
 i'm acting the best i can
 but um, that's not good enough
 and when i try harder
 that's not good enough
Non sum qualis eram says:
 no, paras
 what youre fucking doing right now
 is not even trying to resolve anything
Paras says:
 I'M
 ONLINE
 because you asked
Non sum qualis eram says:
 youre just nitpicking everything
Paras says:
 i'm online talking to you
Non sum qualis eram says:
 just freaking let me speak
 and nod
Paras says:
 NOD even if i dont agree with it?
Non sum qualis eram says:
 i shouldnt have to even ask you to get online to fix something that you caused
 so
 i dont know why i should be that impressed by it
Paras says:
 ...................
 i was fucking right
 i was fucking right, my god
 just
 go ahead and leave me already amie
 it's obvious this relationship's on its last legs
 i'm just as tired of all this as you are, and i feel like a lot of it does come from you and the way you act and if i even try and point it out i get the door slammed in my face
 and i'm even more tired of that
 i love you, but whatever i do from my end doesn't work
Non sum qualis eram says:
 paras
 you should listen to me
Paras says:
 you should
 realise
 that i
 always
 do
 always, always, always, always, always
 always
 always
 always
 always
 ive been expecting this and im a little surprised but not too much that it occured so early so it's less of a shock. i feel like whatever might've occured tonight, as much fault it is mine, had your involvement in it too, and i feel that a lot about whatever arguments we have
 and ive felt that for so long but ive tried not to say anything about it
 just patiently saying yes ma'am, i was wrong, i'm sorry
 and
 you dont even know
 i cant even say anything because if i say anything now
 ugh
 if you want to talk
 i'm here
Non sum qualis eram says:
 it just bothers me more than i can explain
 that you knew that something was wrong with me
 and yet...
 you didnt help me
Paras says:
 trying
 to fucking
 cheer you up
 asking you whats wrong
 and getting
 i cant tell you and thats what makes me so upset
 is like
 me sticking my hand out to you
 and you slapping me in the face
 how
 how am i supposed to respond to that?
 and you know what?
 Amie says (02:52):
 i shouldnt have to even ask you to get online to fix something that you caused
 so
 i dont know why i should be that impressed by it

 i told you earlier that i didnt believe you when you said you appreciated it
 and i was right
 this is freaking gnawing on my nerves
Non sum qualis eram says:
 how does this help the situation right now
Paras says:
 how did it help to lie to me about the appreciation bit?
 you know what amie
Non sum qualis eram says:
 paras
Paras says:
 i'm tired of this
 i am
Non sum qualis eram says:
 fucking think before you speak
Paras says:
 i am so sick and fucking tired of this
 okay
Non sum qualis eram says:
 okay
 so what?
 end it?
Paras says:
 yeah
 i think we should
Non sum qualis eram says:
 okay
Paras says:
 i love you, but there's a lot going on here
 and
 even when i try to help you, i mess up
 fuck whatever feelings i have
 just for your sake
 i'm not a good boyfriend
 go find someone better
 i love you very very much
 but its obvious that i'm a stupid idiot who cant take care of you
Non sum qualis eram says:
 im trying to teach you
 but you arent listening to me
Paras says:
 and the lesson's not getting through
 exactly
 why botehr?
Non sum qualis eram says:
 heh
 lets take a few days to mull this over, paras..
Paras says:
 no
 no break
 no nothing like that
 no few days
Non sum qualis eram says:
 i dont want to make a decision out of pure emotion
Paras says:
 no
 amie
 listen
 this is so retarded
 we had almost a great time in dallas
 but i didnt even notice you were reserved
 or if i did
 only for a short period
 when you were for a longer period
 and those great times are few and far in between
 and i am
 so dreadfully tired
 and i cant even tell you why
 because if i do
 it wont help the situation
 i dont want a few days
 i want you to either say yes paras im with you and we'll go through this somehow or no paras this is too much
 and im honestly at a point where if you say no, it'll be heartbreaking, but i'll have seen it coming
Non sum qualis eram says:
 i dont want to say either right now
 please respect that
Paras says:
 not after last time amie, no
 i cant be in a relationship with a person
 whos in a funk
 about whether they want it or not
 i cant
Non sum qualis eram says:
 we'd still be together, fully
Paras says:
 and what amie
 i have to wake up each day wondering
 is this the last day of our relationship?
 that's not fair to me
Non sum qualis eram says:
 okay
 ill stick to what i said then
 you have a month
Paras says:
 i'll just
Non sum qualis eram says:
 until the 28th
Paras says:
 hm
 okay
Non sum qualis eram says:
 please show me that you can do better
Paras says:
 heh
Non sum qualis eram says:
 and
 please note
 that i didnt call you names..
 but you did
Paras says:
 hypocrite is not a name
Non sum qualis eram says:
 that really hurt me
 yeah, it is
Paras says:
 no
 a name is something like
 cunt
 or to me
 it is
Non sum qualis eram says:
 paras
 to me
 it's just as bad
 as calling me your version of a name
Paras says:
 okay, i'll keep that in mind for the future
 i'm sorry
 what do you want to do now
Non sum qualis eram says:
 i dont know
Paras says:
 do you want to talk here
 or do you want to go away
 or do you want to talk on the phone
 or do you want to go to sleep
Non sum qualis eram says:
 lets stay here..
 or well
 you can go if you want
 but ill be here
Paras says:
 its 3:11am
 do you want me to stay here
 will it matter if i do
 or is it really
 you can go if you want
Non sum qualis eram says:
 if you need to sleep
 its okay
 im not ready to sleep
Paras says:
 you havent answered my question
Non sum qualis eram says:
 what do you want to do
 if we're going to be happy then
 id like if youd stay
 but if its going to be more emoness
 i cant do it
 my emotions are too frayed to do that
Paras says:
 fine, i'll go
Non sum qualis eram says:
 okay
 goodnight paras
Paras says:
 bye, do you still want to go to sleep together, or no
Non sum qualis eram says:
 yes
 ill text you
 when i go to bed
Paras says:
 okay
 i'm not going to wait up for long, amie
Non sum qualis eram says:
 alright
Paras says:
 when do you think you'll be ready to go to bed
 give me a time so that i can look around to it
Non sum qualis eram says:
 i dont know
Paras says:
 do you want me to stay here until then?
Non sum qualis eram says:
 thats up to you..
Paras says:
 is it
 so hard to say
 i want you to tsay
 or
 i dont want you to stay
 is it really a matter of indifference to you
Non sum qualis eram says:
 paras
 read what you just said
 and imagine how it makes me feel
Paras says:
 amie
 youre
 lfjdjfslf
 okay
 i'll wait up for you for half an hour or 45 minutes or so
 if youre not ready for bed
 i guess not tonight then
 good night.
Non sum qualis eram says:
 good night