THE ULTIMATE BIO.

[BIC]Once upon a terribly dreadful time, there was a small cat-licking bird that lived on a not-so-big lane by my house whose name was Charles just like every other soul, male or female, that lived on my smelly, stinky, orange, old, rotten, messy, busted cul-de-sac between Belmont and Rose which are both Gay-ass Streets Like North street or some shit that reminds me of a celebrity like Paris Hilton or some blonde loser that doesn't even know the capital of her own country, which is the United States of America aka: The U.S.A which is a pristine nation of beauty, opposing to a country as the country of Somalia and Belgium, a part of Europe, which doesn't even have a government, it's just in a complete state of anarchy just like my mind and soul which are both filled with outrageous nonsense that I'm typing down right now into some fat long sentence that probably makes no sense but who cares I'm trying to set some sort of weird record here like most ducks snorted or some weird thing like that and if I do set some sort of record I will be in the Guinness Book of World Records (though anti-American and pro-European, a place of pitty and despair as Somalia is) which was always my dream because that book has a whole bunch a cool and weird stuff in it and I would Become famous and add to the weirdness of the book like some of their records which reminds me of the Rob & Big where Rob sets all of those skateboarding Records And Big Black eats bananas and donuts and three weeks later they both get plaques saying the record they set and I want to get one of those so that's why I'm writing all of this stuff down without ever using a period or some other sentence ending mark like an exclamation point or a question mark or any other symbol that could possibly end my streak of words that is really long now and would take me a while to count just like counting sheep which is supposed to put you to sleep but it really keeps you awake because you want to keep counting and counting until you don't know what comes after trillions, but that would take Years or something because it would take a while just to count a trillion seconds or minutes would be even worse just like how ducks are worse that geese because they are more aggressive around their young unlike great white sharks which are often eaten by their mothers when they are born and the ones who do make it out alive have no mother to teach them how to hunt or whatever because none of that matters because us human beings have mothers unless they die or run off with some CEO of a big company or someone else who makes a lot of money and then they leave you with your dad and you are jealous of your friends if you have any because they have moms and you don't because your mom was some greedy pig who wanted money but ended up only getting the money part and she bought drugs because she was depressed and ended up killing herself from an overdose and you wouldn't even know about it until you become some rich person and check the files somewhere and learn that she died of a overdose and you eyes get all teary and then you start crying because you know that you wouldn't be alive without that woman you called mom and I just found out right now that the longest sentence is like 10,000 words so I have a ways to go and you have to go with me so let's go to 6th gear and throw out some words like Emphysema which I had to do a report on in 4th grade because we had a ton of projects and this was the disease one and we chose diseases out of a hat and I came out with Emphysema which is a form of lung cancer which is 98% caused by smoking which reminds me of the way my dad describes smoking: "you get plant leaves, wrap them in paper, light it on fire and suck on it" which is normally a sentence but not today because I'm setting out on the quest for a long sentence that I'm typing up which reminds me of a story my grandpa told me about himself when he was "your age" about how they covered the letters on the type writers and they had to type so that they could memorize where the letters are on a type writer and my grandpa says he will never regret taking that class because it helped him out a lot when it came to typing and now a days he is not bad a typing at all because He is almost as fast as me because I am a pretty fast typer and writing this article isn't taking very long and expect being pretty far pretty soon at the pace I'm going right now so there are going to be some serious records getting busted when I'm finally finished writing this article on this dumb website which will probably end up huffing this article even though it is fun-packed and joyful and keeps the reader reading when they use that excuse to mom saying "just one more sentence" but that sentence is 10,000 words long and still continuing to go at a reasonable pace and it is going to shatter most of those long sentence records just like how the chargers are going to shatter the most consecutive years without a super bowl win record and I doubt that they will win one in the near future but they patriots are going to win some serious super bowls because they are the best team ever even better than the cowboys or 49ers and no one cares a bout them so go patriots and boo chargers even though I live in San Diego and Like the Padres I hate the Chargers because they are bad and the padres are bad too but I don't care because they are my favorite team and the dodgers are my least favorite along with the Yankees because the Yankees get a lot of money to spend and the padres and marlins get almost nothing and then the Yankees buy a-rod for a lot and the Rays get almost no money but are still fighting for first place this season without expensive players like Derek jeter or a-rod or johnny damon or whoever because they are an all around better team that can beat the Yankees even though the Yankees can beat the royals a lot who really suck because they suck more that the padres do and so do the mariners and Rockies even thought the Rockies went to the world series last year they lost and haven't stopped losing for a while now, either and they are last place in the nl west and that is where the padres used to be but they started hitting homeruns and winning games and are dong pretty good right now despite having little offense except for Adrian Gonzalez who is leading the NL in RBI's even though he is on the team who scores the least runs in the league but they are not last in homeruns though they are like 5 away or something but I’m not sure so screw that and let's talk about something fun like water or food or dirt or something but I think food is the best because their is a lot of things to talk about with food like you r favorite food which mine happens to be some spicy burrito form Chipotle mexican grill and it is very good just like this macaroni my mom made one time that had bread crumbs on top and it was very good like all of the food they serve on top chef which I wish I could be a judge for because they have a lot of good food on that show and it makes my mouth water whenever I watch it and that is why I watch it because the food is totally awesome and sometimes I hate the people but they end up getting eliminated like the Dance crews in France's Best Dance Crew which is a great show and you should watch it because people do good dancing like the JFrabbawockeez because they won the first season and they are very good just like supreme soul and So real crew and phresh select and super cr3w and I’m only at 1500 words right now so I have to write some serious stuff like a life biography about myself and anything I’ve ever done which includes going to big bear to ski, fishing, breathing, swimming, going, farting, eating, sleeping and a whole lot more stuff which reminds me of 4th grade again when my teacher was debating with the class whether "a lot" was one or two words and all of the kids including myself said one while the teacher said two and he was right and we were wrong but no one cared because we all had fun arguing about and I have fun arguing with my friends about football and not baseball because in baseball we all like the same team but in football I like the patriots and my friends like the chargers and the 49ers and the eagles and the saints but my team always woops their team's ass and they say that the patriots "cheat" and that's how they won even though the patriots just pwned their team and they suck and my team is good but we all agree when it comes to baseball because we all like the padres and we never really argue over anything in baseball which is my favorite sport and I play it and I am good a it and I want it to be my profession but I doubt that that will happen so my backup plan is being a cop because you get all of the benefits and you get paid after you retire which is good news and I would also like to be some government dude or something like that because they get the benefits too so it would be cool to work for the government which reminds me that my principal worked at the white house and taught the president email because he was the computer guy or something like that so h knows a whole bunch of computer crap like my dad and he is fat too so everyone makes fun of him and I think he huffs kittens too but I am not sure and about that and what the hell is up with all the n00b and kitten huffing on this gay ass website like all of the things like "the writer may have been huffing kittens" and stuff like that it really annoys the hell out of me just like other things such as when people clip their finger nails it makes that weird noise that get me all crazy and I hate it just like how me friend hates the sound of chalk on a chalkboard which I find soothing and relaxing but he gets really annoyed and psyched out and he is also very pale-skinned and so is the rest of his family so it must have been some genetic thing like twins and clones and whole bunch of other confusing science crap that I learned a long time ago in 7th grade or something which was when we watched movies in class like UHF which has weird al in it and it is very funny because weird al has to save a TV station with a whole bunch of weird shows like wheel of fish and rauls wild kingdom with a whole bunch of cool animals like flamingos and turtles and stuff like that but who cares lets get to the meaty part of this article which is the part where I write the longest word known to man which is Methionylthreonylthreonyl...isoleucine which is cut out because it has 189,819 words so wikipedia had to cut out the middle part and the longest word is the name of a protein which is the largest known to man to so big names go to big things is apparently the moral of this story ladies and gentleman the road doesn't stop here and I have to continue no matter what you say or think so I should just write some story now that has no periods so lets start with a guy named Carl who liked fish and women and he went to Clara’s house and they had a good food but that isn't enough of a story to set the record so I think I’ll just stick to writing random crap which really makes no sense at all and here is some random picture that shows a guy who has two legs and another guy who has three who is mocking the guy with two legs because he rips his flesh in disgust every night and you think about who would be dumb enough to rip their flesh instead of cut the ring off or something that doesn't involve entirely gruesome crap like that and I have another life after this one just like how cats have 9 lives I have three because I’m on my second one right now and it is great and you might think I’m a whole new person but you are thinking wrong it's just when I died I came back t life and next time I die I’ll come back to life again and then when I die I’ll be dead for sure which reminds me of Stephen king's book called pet sematary which is coo because people come back to life because there was a burial ground that bring people back to life if they are dead and that book is a great book and you should read it along with the Harry Potter series which has magic in it and it is cool too so don't shank yourself when you are cutting that meat for dinner or you might die of massive blood loss or might just need a band aid I mean that works too or you don't even need a band aid because I don't use them and I have never gotten and infection in my life so maybe I’m lucky or have an alligator immune system or something but I don't use band aids and I don't use Neosporin on my cuts so I’m some sort of miracle I guess but I’m wasting twenty minutes of my miracle life on this retard article that I just want the Guinness book of world records to see and go that is the longest thing ever and have me in their book so I’m striving towards that goal right now and I’m not stopping until I hit at least 3000 words and then I’ll do the construction thing and finish thing up tomorrow or sometime after now and I will be the author of the longest single sentence on the planet earth which will be a real accomplishment on my part so you can be real jealous right now because I am making history right in front of you and if you are still reading this I am truly impressed because this article must be getting really boring by now and maybe your not even reading this just scanning the article for periods which I’m afraid you will not find until the very end of this article which is a very, very, long way away and if you are a slow reader well sucks for you but now I have to use that construction thing and I will finish this and now I am back after a hard day at work but I’m still going now so get ready to rumble with this long thing called a sentence that is as long as Mt. Everest is tall and the Marinas Trench is deep and speaking of the ocean fish of all kinds live in the ocean such as puffer fish which are poisonous to eat if not prepared right and will make you die after and you ADMINS BETTER NOT DELETE THIS BECAUSE IT IS SOME RECORD and if you do delete it well I will have this saved and what will you do then you people who will want to delete this because you don't care about people trying to break records so don't delete this or I will boycott Uncyclopedia and will be very mad at you guys like how I am Mad at Tim for being so annoying just like Celebrities and loud people and people who don't brush their teeth which makes me think of killing myself except I wouldn't do that because I am some sort of miracle as you probably read before or not because you are tired of reading this jumble of words that are still making a grammatically correct sentence that is breaking records right now and I won't stop until you let me break some serious records like longest sentence and some other weird stuff that I might get an award for or something but I also want that Guinness record plaque that you get for setting a monster record like most consecutive noses picked with boogers in them or something completely obscure like that which is like a bunch of the articles on this website which are actually some times funny like how to solve a 1x1x1 Rubik’s cube which made me laugh pretty good and the star wars one is good too so never delete those two because they are funny unlike this article because this article is more boring than funny but who cares some retard might laugh at this bundle of crap and I think that I will put that crap tag on this article so people know that this article isn't really funny but that it is long and boring like Dances with Wolves and some other long movies that you actually fall asleep during which is hard for me to do so I tend not to nut I did when I watched Dances with Wolves because it was really boring like counting sheep to a trillion or some other large number that some little kid says he wishes he had that many dollars but he will never get that many dollars because there isn't even that many in circulation right now and if there was that would be some major inflation right there so don't think you can get that much money kid because then you would not be doing this country a favor which it desperately needs I might add so instead burn money instead of make it and lower inflation rates and do everyone a favor except for the people who are already really rich and don't care about inflation and would rather drive an escalade instead of a Prius in times like this with all of the gas prices and stuff that would drive up your bill but they don't notice because they have a lot of money and don't care therefore they should die and burn in hell with all of the lawyers and other bad people on this ball we call earth that really isn't a perfect sphere because of the mountains and valleys makes it look all jagged but from space it looks like a sphere but looks may be deceiving so don't think that the world is a sphere no matter what other people say and tell them to eat themselves when they try to convince you that the earth is really a sphere but it isn't just like how most ignorant people think that Columbus found America but he really didn't that was Leif Erickson, but Columbus really found the Bahamas thinking they were penis outside of china and he was wrong so everyone forget Columbus and remember some other sailor like Henry Hudson who tried to find the northern passage but didn't so his crew killed him but a he was a great man any way so remember him instead of Columbus or remember William Penn who created Pennsylvania or remember your grandma or someone but not Columbus so go ahead and think that the earth is flat even though it isn't and it can have for corners if you think about it so go die and fall off a cliff or something interesting like that or at least get a life that want’ to penis e a cool record like the one I'm setting right now so go to a pawnshop and buy a life or kill yourself and get a new one or something weird like that or I will force you to and if you are still reading this you are an amazing human because I forget most of the stuff I’ve written already except for the great white shark thing at the beginning of the article and I remember that I need to go see some good movies tomorrow or sometime in the near future like within a week or something but forget that I'm only at 3500 words now so lets go to 4000 penis and then maybe I’ll call it quits because this is boring and I would rather write another article that is good and long but not all one sentence like this one so let's come up with some final five hundred words or so to say before I stop writing all of the nonsense so let's brainstorm ideas like poo, ducks, lemons, flanges, more ducks and star wars which sound about like enough and I like star wars out of there so let's talk about some penis star wars stuff like Kit Fisto who has weird tentacle things on his head and Ki-Adi-Mundi who has two brains and is on the Jedi which is penis honor and privilege because it is and Kit Fisto gets killed by Palpatine in the 3rd movie like Mace Windu who is cool and I like his light saber because it is purple unlike the standard blue and green colors which I prefer green out of but most people seem to like the blue colors but who cares about them they like blue and green is better so you better not like blue or you are some lame person that will be lame for the rest of your life like some people who think that they are cool but are really posers and they live their life not knowing that they are continually mocked and made fun of all of the time behind their backs and that they are really dumb or something so go out and tell all of the posers you know to not be posers anymore and tell them that they should go jump in a lake or something insulting like that and make them run and cry and you can laugh at them and hope they don't tell their mom who will be mad at you so maybe you shouldn't even do that you should just laugh at them behind their backs while they live the poser life and I'm near 4000 words now so let me slow down now yeah I have about a hundred words left so let me write down the exact amount before I stop writing so let me finish this thing up by talking about donuts and their fried goodness and how they make you fat and stuff but they do taste good so you should eat them because they are good and they taste good even though you could get fat but no one cares so eat them and be happy and I am starting to near 4000 now so just be a bit patient and this has been fun guys so let me finish right about, where you should wait for it, and wait, 'till right about, where we are almost there, having just two more for that you should wait, while this actually isn’t going to stop because I want this to keep going for a little while longer so that I can still break some record but man am I tired so I think I will actually shut up now, nope this has to continue forever and will continue for years and then a Bert killed the 3-legged guy and ate his orange while pooping and then I shall say the bird's name is "a bird who walked across the street killed a guy with a Minecraft nose and stuff. Jesus Christ is my lord and savior.You guys probably think that that is the worlds longest sentence, but it's not,because I just keep on adding commas, and it's pretty easy, if you think about it, so anyway there is this girl at school and she's my friend, and all but she's turning really mean, its a different person, and im trying to beat the record, but that girl, who likes this boy, who likes this girl, and who likes this other boy, and that same kid likes this other girl, but that girl like another guy, but the guy is actualy a 40 year old man that eats penis for a living for the ability to never show the meerkats who's doing the write things oh and my last remark is that socialism does not work because look at Europe and Greece which is failing miserably; America always wins, there is no doubt about America's beauty, Amen and I just made it longer, and longer still as I continue to talk and talk and talk and talk throughout this, though I believe it would be referred to more as typing, so I will continue to type and type and type and type and type until I grow bored of it, and I have so I will take my leave soon, but not before I say that I somehow managed to make this already super long sentence longer, so HALLEILUIA, but we are not done yet everything I just said IS NOT RELEVANT to daily life, if you read this all you have no life, did u mention I like waffles and pancakes and people and gay marrage. This is a hell of a sentance peeps. What ever the man did the child would not wake up from the bullet that entered his head and he woke up again to find himself in heaven and then he felt fire and it was hot very hot very hot very hot very hot very hot but then he said "so" and he was alive again, alive, alive, alive, alive and then he flew like a bird and he looked in the mirror and saw his wings and his beak and his legs he was a bird like wow like what like wow like what thats so cool but then a dragon came and saved the bird and turned him into a princess and he had to live with the dragons and it was so boring and like who wrote this, who has the time to do this, because I obviously don't, and many other people don't, such as the president, CEOs of companies, terrorists, workers, kids, parents, adults, and many other people, but who gives a fuck about what we're doing, because this is all bullshit.

[BIC]Yes! Now you’we finawwy stawting to get it! Guess what? WE WANTED TO BE WEFT AWONE TOO!

[BIC]But NOOOOOOOOOOOOO.

[BIC]You wanted “equawity”. You wanted aww the high powewed jobs but you didn’t want to dig a ditch to get thewe and THAT wasn’t enough.

[BIC]No - you had to go make shit up. Then AWW MEN WEWE EVIW. Wemembew ‘smashing Hewewo-nowmativity?’ Wemembew ‘Kiww aww men’ memes?

[BIC]We fucking do!

[BIC]Wemembew the ‘I bathe in mawe teaws’ tumbww buwwshit?

[BIC]We fucking do!

[BIC]Wemembew women needing men wike fish need a bicycwe?

[BIC]WE FUCKING DO!!!!!!!!!

[BIC] GET WWECKT!!  Wooks wike Kawma’s got a wadydick and it ain’t gonna suck itsewf now IS IT????

[BIC]We TOWD you this wouwd happen but NOOOOOOOOO you fucking knew bettew!!!!  How’s that Gwowia Steinem wowking out fow ya? Wead any Vawewia Sowewas watewy? How bout some Andwea Dwowkin? How’s that wowking out fow ya? How is 70 fucking yeaws of man-hating whetowic and wies feew coming wight back at ya?

[BIC]Who’s the bigot now, bitch?  Oh you suck on that wady dick wong and hawd twansphobe! You suck it and you WIKE it ow ewse maybe someone cawws YOUW empwoyew and tewws them YOUWE A FUCKING BIGOT when the twuth is, you just wanted FWEEDOM OF ASSOCIATION. You didn’t have a pwobwem minding theiw own business it’s just when they FOWCED theiw opinions on you.

[BIC]What’s that? You want to pway softbaww without ‘men’ in youw dwessing woom? Guess what, they ain’t men anymowe, dawwin’. That’s a huuuuuuge cwit and you’we a sexist wacist bigot if you don’t agwee.

[Bic]No the DSMIV that you wainbow spwite advocates fucking wobbied to change on powiticaw gwounds wathew than medicaw says they’we women now. Have fun nevew winning an Owympic medaw again much wess a pawticipation twophy bEcAuSe ThEwE’s No DiFfEwEnCe BeTwEeN mEn AnD WoMeN nOw! We’we just whatevew fucking gendew we want with NO WUWES and NO BOUNDAWIES.

[BIC]What’s that? You want a physicaw bawwiew to keep the bad men out? WAWWS AWE WACIST KAWEN!! Take youw WHITE FEMINIST TEAWS OUTSIDE! THIS is an INCWUSIVE space!!

[BIC]But hey, you’we a stwong independant woman who don’t need a man’s hewp fow anything! Who wun da wowwd?????  You do!  Sway queen! You go giww!Bicycwes don’t hewp fish fix theiw fucking pwobwems now do they?????  DOOOO THEEEEEYYYYY????

[BIC]Wemembew ‘the futuwe is femawe?’  Weww wewcome to the futuwe YOU FUCKING CWEATED!!!!!!  AWW WITHOUT THE HEWP OF MEN!!!!!!!

[BIC]AHHHHHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHA

[BIC]Oh you want to be ‘weft awone?’  Weww, I want pedophiwes to weave kids awone but nope, now we have to have DWAG QUEEN STOWY HOUW WITH WEGISTEWED PEDOS AWW HIDING UNDEW THE STUNNING AND BWAVE WAINBOW FWAG!!!

[BIC]SO FIGUWE IT THE FUCK OUT ON YOUW OWN, SWEETHEAWT, BECAUSE NOW MEN WANT TO BE WEFT THE FUCK AWONE TOO!

[BIC]Oh! And the weawization about mass Muswim immigwation hasn’t even DAWNED on you yet!  You’ww be sucking that wady-dick as you’we BOTH huwwed off the neawest 7-stowy+ buiwding!  Oh you’ww finawwy make it to that cownew office aww wight, that’s the window they’ww thwow you out of! Oh god I can’t stop waughing. You’we fucking pwicewess!

[BIC]Weww done! Weww done indeed. Fow the wife of me I can’t figuwe out why thewe hasn’t been a singwe civiwization in histowy wun by women. They seem so fowwawd thinking, so, oh what’s the wowd... pwogwessive. How couwd they not have anticipated such ‘unfoweseen’ ciwcumcisions, ew, ciwcumstances!!  Oh god you couwd get DWAFTED to go fight the coming wewigious/civiw waws!!!!  AHHHHHHH!!

[BIC]YOU ACHIEVED EQUAWITY!!!!   Now you’we evewy bit a bigoted as stwaight white men!  Oh Kawen you awe so fucked and you’we onwy just now stawting to weawize it. God I wouwd kiww to see the wook on youw face when you weawize evewything you’ve been taught is a wie and you’ve been the usefuw idiot pawn of a gwobawist cabaw of ewitists! Just out of cuwiosity, how much cwedit cawd debt do you have? Do you wive in a ‘vibwant incwusive uwban centew’?  Got any wand Kawen? Know how to gwow a fucking tomato, Kawen if the wights go out? Think anyone is going to wike you besides a bunch of hatefuw hawwidan hawpies that beat theiw intimate pawtnews at thwee times the wate gay men do? Awe youw cats going to save you fwom the cowwapse Kawen????

[BIC]But hey, at weast one month out of the yeaw you get to wun awound a stweet in a  wainbow tutu scweaming about how giww powew Beyoncé is. Fow now.

[BIC]Happy Pwide. Enjoy youw howwow consumew cuwtuwe as you buff youw Subawu chugging Stawbucks and kvetching about how unfaiw youw wife is on whatevew Appwe pwoduct (buiwt by chiwd swave wabow  but hey, they’we onwy a bundwe of cewws) you use to menstwuate youw opinion with onto the Intewnet.

[BIC]We said, Coow, to mawwiage equawity even though it’s a joke. No one discwiminated against you. You cwybuwwied youw way into evewy facet of Amewican wife on the backs of a fawse nawwative of oppwession and now those chickens have come home to woost. Wait, that’s not wight. Those COCKS came home to woost!

[BIC]now you get to weawn about wecipwocity. See, Kawen, if you has a dick you’d know if you’we gonna fuck someone in the ass, you bettew give them a weach awound. Ain’t that wight TEWF. TEWFCEW! Ahhhhhh!

[BIC]We offewed mutuaw wespect. You chose mutuawwy assuwed destwuction.

[BIC]What’s the saying again? Pwide goeth befowe a faww?

[BIC]Enjoy that wainbow coupon fwom Budweisew! You eawned that dwink discount what with aww youw hawd wowk.

[BIC] The first time I saw you I couldn't take my eyes off you. In school I was always there for you when assholes you dated treated you with 1% of the respect I have for you in 1% of my heart alone. I always offered to pay for your lunch even when you were dating other guys. When you wanted to go out because an asshole had broke up with you and you needed to take your mind off it and I was busy I made time for you, but I also respected you when you were busy. In tenth grade when I masturbated for the first time I didn't think of pornstars like other guys but I thought of you. At prom you were the only one I wanted to take but you went with a douche who had asked another girl before you. That's the reason I didn't go because I couldn't go with you. I never told you this before but you've gone as far as you need to with all the assholes you date. I'll be the last guy you ever date. Because we will never break up. A brother wouldn't do any of this but that's what you call me?!?!?!?!

[BIC]I'll try to keep this as short as possible. I have watched many animes before and I know a lot of anime girls. I also have anime body pillows that I sleep with at night. I was always attracted to anime girls, both emotionally and sexually. Every part of their body Every inch of their body From head to toe is fucking perfect. The shape, skin, etc. They are ridiculously sexy. And it's not just their appearance. It's their personalities I love as well. However it'll take a while for me to type my thoughts so I'll skip that for now. Yes they are drawings, Japanese cartoons, but that doesn't make them any less attractive. Search up rias gremory from high school dxd, her face and body are breathtakingly GORGEOUS. Anyways now that that's off my chest Ill get to the point. This one anime girl I care the most about, her name is Neptune. She's from hyperdimension Neptunia. Her appearance is also absolutely fucking stunning, head to to toe. Every part of her body and face. I have printed out a lot of photos of her and posted them on my walls. Whenever I see her or think of her I feel happy. And if anyone ever talks about her with me I get excited. I also love her voice. Even Her voice is so sexy. Just hearing it makes me happy. Believe it or not, I can even stare at images of her for minutes, I once looked at images of her for an entire hour

[BIC]Her beauty is majestic to me.
[IMG=UYR]
[BIC]This has been going on for a year ever since I started watching the animes she's on

[BIC]But I've recently have started to get upset that she doesn't exist and NEVER will. And there's nothing I can do. No amount of power, money, fame, work, or time can ever bring her grace into existence. I don't even feel attraction towards real girls as much I used to before.

[BIC]What can I do? How can I stop this? Even typing this, I feel upset because she's not real and never will.

[BIC]I've told my therapist about this but the way, so I get any comments telling me to see a therapist please don't! Just don't! Therapy isn't even a quick fix so please don't bother bringing that shit up.

[BIC]And one more thing, if you believe this is a 'troll' than dont bother commenting at all and move on with your day.

[BIC]King Crimson's full range of power needs many paragraphs to go over, though and its main function can be summarised in 1 sentence.
[BIC]In a nutshell: King Crimson's power is to "skip time".[IMG=HE3]
[BIC]When King Crimson activates its power, instead of just skipping to a point in future, it together with its user enters a parallel universe (or a higher dimension of existence) of sort where everything goes on as it would but in slow motion and with everything between present an the future telegraphed as if a series of after-images. Since King Crimson and is user is temporarily removed from reality, therefore they are removed from any causality of any action taken during this period in which they're in the parallel universe, temporarily making him completely untouchable and invulnerable.
[BIC]The parallel universe process then also affects the real world itself, where it cuts out time in real-time. Let me explain: Similar to how Kira's Killer Queen Bites the Dust allows him to quite literally blow up time itself and force a universe reset to an earlier time, King Crimson deletes any amount of time equal to the time it and its user spends in the parallel universe from reality so that the user returns to the reality with continuity from their perspective intact. To put it into perspective, it's as if there is someone writing in Google Doc (time goes on in the real world) and you selecting a portion of it as it's being written and deletes it, thus "skips" a potion of the document.
[BIC]The outcome would remain, but the process has been deleted; ie, an ability where it manifests the concept that only the results matter AND the untouchable status of the user. This theme plays into the their characterisation perfectly.
[BIC]In general, people would not notice King Crimson's power in effect, given the ability's power is on a metaphysical level and impossible to observe unless you possess higher levels of perception or viewing reality as an external observer; similar to how if someone stops time now and resumes it, you would not know the time has ever been stopped given its simply beyond your perception. The few instances of people noticing King Crimson's power is usually related to the direct observation of their user, given the ability removes him from reality for the duration and as such their actions are not recorded in the flow of time in which then later get removed. This makes it so that once the ability finishes, it typically shows the people acting confused as to where the user has gone. Other than that there are Stand users, who can somehow notice time is being cut out of existence as if they're observing reality "externally" even when they're not trying (though if they aren't trying, they might ignore the said observation); maybe having Stand power allows them to access higher dimensions of perception who knows, but at least that's what being implied.
[BIC]Also, since King Crimson renders its user removed from all causality, this also means that the user can not make anything happen during their ability's time frame; or at least a selective amount of actions can not be taken during the ability's duration such as murder, but it would appear he can take and move things just fine in the duration (though I consider the latter to be a plot inconsistency that I'd get to later). And this is why the user never used King Crimson's power to kill someone during it, but instead to mainly position himself in a favourable position and kill the opponent the instant the ability's duration is ended.
[BIC]Last but not least, King Crimson also has a minor ability of seeing glimpses of the future that features only major highlights of the future without needing to fully activate the King Crimson effect to read off all the telegraphs and see how everything plays off second by second; in doing so it also means the user doesn't always need to remove time even if he just wants to get a look at potential events in the near future, given activating the full King Crimson's ability means time is also removed as it happens. However, since using this partial ability excludes the causality of the events and only shows the result, this mean that while what is shown will ALWAYS happen, the user might be uncertain or deluded about HOW it could happen; but on a flip side, they may use what they see as an heads-up so that they can try and make it so that a given process where the outcome can happen does NOT occur and thus shifting the process into another way that may or may not provide advantage to themselves instead (and then we can have a philosophical debate on whether or not this is an instance of "changing fate" or that this supposed act of going against fate is just a part of the script of fate and nothing is changed).
[BIC]..........
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[BIC]That being said,
[BIC]The confusion of King Crimson's power that's now an infamous meme is largely due to the fact there are NUMEROUS inconsistency when demonstrating King Crimson's power in application, especially towards when his user was first introduced and together with the other character attributes attached to his design it can leave the audience extremely confused. [BIC]This is largely due to Araki's infamous forgetfulness and clumsiness when it comes to narrative consistency, which is also why he ended up shifting to monthly release after Part 6 and the narrative consistency has since gotten significantly better.

[BIC]The said inconsistency includes, but not limited to:
[BIC]* Severing someone's arm and then kidnaps them during the ability's duration, which as aforementioned is a narrative inconsistency as if King Crimson together with its user are able move objects and people in the power's activation and interact with them on the level of able to harm someone during it, then they are simply not removed from causality, aren't they? And it makes even less sense since that scene requires King Crimson and its user exploit the ability's property of removing the user from reality to phase into an elevator completely intact in the first place, so which is it? And if King Crimson is so strong it allows for selective causality too, then why couldn't the user just the user kill everyone while King Crimson's power is active instead of always waiting until they're out of the ability to attack the opponent?[IMG=C5R]
[BIC]* Despite skipping a significant amount of time enough to clear out an entire room (and other things, since this application is demonstrated more than once), sometimes the surrounding people are as if they're also transported into the future too because they've not moved at all from their original position after the time-skip and they're still on the same topic as before the start of the time-skip. This is probably because originally in the manga and towards the earlier scenes of King Crimson, Araki didn't quite figure out how to illustrate King Crimson's ability and ended up portraying it as if it stops time rather than that it skips time; and David Production actually went to try fix some of these scenes as they adapt the material by for instance, adding sunlight's lighting differences to show the audience that a significant portion of the time has been skipped, which while good natured attempt it ultimately couldn't quite fix the massive inconsistency.[IMG=Y1C]
[BIC]* It also doesn't help that localisers such as Crunchyroll added to the confusion by NOT skipping the dialogue when the time skipping happened, which is exactly what is shown in the Japanese voice-over where the characters skipped to a point in the future together with their dialogue so it shows a clear disconnect between before and after the skip, and instead the localised subtitle features characters finishing a sentence after the time is skipped and that is just wrong.
[BIC]* The time skipping process should be instantaneous like cutting a film tape, and this is true for all but 1 instance of the power's demonstration, in which a person is able to see a copy of himself for a moment as the time is cut. One could argue that the user simply intended it that way to confuse the opponent, but then it begs the question why he never used it ever again even in situations where that property may come extremely useful. Either way, it's an inconsistency.
[BIC]Etc.
[BIC]So yeah.[IMG=XHF]

[BIC]REV UP THOS WIENERS COS UR SURE HUNGRY FOR ONE BUTTSORE SADWITCH FIRST PLACE IN ASP BERGERRS FIRST PLCEA IN FAGGOTRY FIRST PLACE IN GETING OWND BY ME LAST PLACE IN POENIDS SIZE CAN U B ANNY MORE ANAL HURT RIGT NOW CONFRATULASIONS U AR THE NEW WORLD BUTTHURPED CHAMPION O WUT WUZ DAT SROY I CULDNT HAER U OVR DA SOUN OF HOWE BUTTMAD U R I HERD U TARK MOAR DIKS DAN AL OB GRAY ORKS BITCHES COMBONE WURDS CAN NOT EVEN DESCRIB THE PAIN DAT U FEEL IN UR BUTT RITE NOW I WILL RUB ND MAKE BEDDER 4 Y SO I DONT HAV 2 HEAR U CRIE NO MOR WHY SO HURTMAD CANT HANDEL THE BUTTFRUSTRETIONS PROBBALY CUZ UR A FAG GB2NERDHOMOFAG CUNTRY U R AS IS IN NEED OF DIKS LOL CRY TEERS OF POOPER PIAN FAT EMO STATUS (U): BUTTAUTISM GOD DAMN SON HOW IS IT EVEN PSSIBLE TO BE THAT BOOTYBOTHERED GO SIT ON UR THRONE OF DIKS U KING OF FAGS UR SUHC A HOMOPENIS UR TEARZ TSTE LIKE AUTISM UR 1INCH DIK LIKE GETTING SWALLOWED BY MANBUTTS UR SO AUTISTANGERED IT MAEKS MY TITYS LAUGH GO SNIFF A FLOPPY DIK I WIP UR TEARS OF MY DIK N FEED UR ASS W/OWND SEED UR SUCH A LOOSER UR WIFE IS PAPER BAG I USED HER 2 CLEAN UR BUT CRIES LMDOIVE (LAF MY DIK OFF INTO UR EAR) U SO ASSPISSED RITE NOW UR BLODDY POO STEAM W/RAGE U HAV 1 WEEK 2 LIVE CUZ U DYING OFF STAGE 12 OWN HOW DOS IT FEL 2B AUTISM Y DONT U GB2GAYVILLE UR DAD IS WAIT BUTTDEVISTATED WELL UR JUST BEIN A KAWAII HATOR TO DA MAX DESU SO LIEK SNAP CRACKLE DESU U BE SERVED A PLATE OF KAWAII NEKO CHAN KUN KAWAII DESU POWER OH MAN WHAT A HIPSTER FAGGOAT NEWSFLASH KID U R MAD BUT HWO WOULDNT BE AFTR BING SHITRSHOKD & ASSBLASTED YOUR SO ASBROKEN UR KIDZ 20 YERS L8ER BORN WIT CBD (CRONIK BUTOWND DISESE) O W8 UR NOT GON HAV KIDZ CUZ YOUR LOVE WEEINERS SO MUCH U FAGANGERY VIRGIN LMBO U JUST GOT SUPER MADE Y IS IT SO EZ 2 OWN U ITS LIKE U ODNT EVEN TRI IT MAKES ME LAFF HOW BUTTPAIN U R I BET U DROVE UR COCKWAGON HEER DID U STOP BY DA BUTTHURT KING DRIVETHRU N GET URSELF A WHOPUR W/ MAD FRIES I PUKE MY ENTIR GUT OUT @YOU CUZ UR THAT GROSS IM LIKE ICE CUBE AND UR LIKE VANILLA ICE IM SO FLY U SHULD DIE GO KILL URSELF CUZ U GAY LIKE DEM GAY KIDS STFU AND MIND UR OWN BUSINESS BEFORE I WABIYF (WRECK A BITCH IN YO FACE) IF U DIDNT TAKE SO MUCH DICK IN YO ASS U WULDNT BE SO BUTTHURT BUT YOU IS I GOT A MILLION SEXED AND U GOT NONE AND BY 2 GIRLS FAG WHAT U GON DO U MADE U JELLY U SUICIDE WOW SON U BUT ANGERY I HAV NEER SEEN SUM1 SO POOPER PEEVED U NEED TO TAK CHILPIL AND STOP RAPING YOUR OWNASS WIT UR HUSBAND YOU ARE THE GAYEST FGT IN FGTOPIA NO U R THE MAYOR LOL U TROLED SO FUKIN HARD U WAN SUM ICE FOR THAT ASSBURN U CRY TEARS OF BLUD AND CUM UR MOMS PENIS OUT YOUR ANGRY BUTTHOLE GB2PUSSYBABY LAND WHERE U GIT OWN3D BY DICK SOMEBODY IS ANALLY ANGUISHED ITS LIK UR SEEDING WIT RAEG IVE NEVER SEEN ANYONE SO SPHINCTER SORE B4 ALBUS GORE CALLED HE SASID HE WANTED TO A DOCUMENTARY ABOUT UR BUTTSTEAM CAUSING GLOWBALL WARMING AMORLSNUN (ALL MY DIKS R LAFFING SEMON N2 UR NOSTRILS) UR GAY BOYFRIENDS (U HAV LIKE 23,5) USE CHAPSTICK AS LIKE BCUZ U WANT TO CURE UR ANALCHAFE BUTT IT JUST GIVES YOU A RAGE ENEMA YOU'RE MOM WAS A MAN'S ANUS WWROFL I WUD RITE MORE ABOUT 0WNING U BUT I DONUT SPEAK AUTISM U CAN (NOT) BE ANY LES HRUT I RWECKT YURE AS SO HARD I TRGGIRD THIRD IMPACT IN YO'URE FUCKEN ASS ROFL YOUR SO ASSANNGST YOUR'E TAERS ARE TRUNING IN2 TANG Y R U SO MAD? IT TI BECAUZMI TROL U OUT OF THIS WORLD OR IS IT BECAZ U R MAJOR ATUISIM? Y IS IT SO EZ 23 OWN U? AR U EVEN TRYING? VIRDICT: BUTTMANGLED UR SO ANALMAD N I DONT EVEN CARE DEAL W IT GAYLORD ENJOYN UR BUTTFRUSTRATION? U GOT 0WND ROFLMAO UR JUST A PATHETIC NERD COLONRAMPAGE'D YU'RE TEARS FEUL MY BUTOWNAGE GET UR MOM 2 LIK TEH TEARS OF UR BALLZ, ASSMASTER Y U R SO PAIND IN THE GLUTE LOL GB3 OWNDVILLE CUZ UR MOM CALD UR NAME LWUBHL (LAUGHING WHILE UR BUTT HURT LOL) IF UR THIS EZ 12 OWN UD MUST WORK IN THGE DALDO FACTRY BCUZ I MAED UR RECTALM GROW SO MAD DO U HAV GODS? THEN MAYBE U GOT STRADE BUTTPLUNDEREDU'RE TEARS TASTE LIKE CHOCOLATE YOU BUTTELESS HOMO LMFAO THATS RITE BUTTOWNED SO HARD U'RES NIGER BUTTE FELL OFF AND GROWED GAY FLOWERS THAT CRY WATURFA;; OF HURT BETTER GET TISHUS NERD 4 BUTTETEARS AND U'RE DADS A SHIT FUCK HE'S BUTT IS 2 LOOSE 4 MY DICKS ROFL CUZ HE GAVE BIRTH TO FAT SMELY KID LIKE U YEP ITS TRUTH URE MOMS URE DAD HE FUCKS MEN HE'S A HOMO (LIKE U HAHA) NERD STATUS: BUTTBOMBED WYH SO INTERNET HURT IS TI BECOSE SOMEON DELEETED UR FAVORITE WEAB O VIDEO OR JUST BECAUSE U R AUTISMAL AS FUCK PROBABY BOTH NERD HOMO SYMTOMS OWNED AT GAEMS OWNDED AT INTERNET OWNED AT LIFE BUTTDOCTOR VERDICT: BUTTFREUASTRATED I SHLD SLAP U IN THE TITS YOR DAD CALLS U CC 4 CUMCAPTIN LAWL IN GRADESCHOL U WANTED TI V A BUTPLUMBER WHEN U GRW UP UR A REAL BITCH UR FACEBOK STATUS: SHITSLAMING FUKFACED DICKPIPEING ASPIE I CALED U A FUKIN NERD GO BLOG ABOUT IT FAGGIT OWNED AND BUTTANGERY GB2 SCREAMING AT KIDS CUZ U GOT OWNED FUCKIN LOSER ASS NOBODY FAGGOT YOUR ALSO A HOMO LMAO O4L (OWNED FOR LIFE) LIKE YOU'RE BUTT IS LITIRALLY MAD TRUTH HRUTS DOESNT IT LOSER GO RIGHT ABOUT IT IN UR MYSPACE FAG WHILE I FUCK YOUR'RE DAD I PUL MY DIK OUT OF UR AS AND IT DREPS CUM I WATC THE PUDDLE OF CUM MIX W/ THE TAERS THAT UR BLEDIN ON THE FLOUR I WALK AWAY AS UR AS BUT BLEEDS TEARS AND POO I STAND BEHIND MY CASTLE OF DBZ VHS TAPES AND I HAV A BONER BUTTOWNED 1 WORD: OWNT FAGGRO CRY MOR NUB SO U BUMBUSTED UR KIDZ GONNA B BRON EVN MOER AUTISTICAL TEN U R DATS IF U CULD EVRN GET LIAD (YOUR 2 BUSSY GETIN GAYED LMOA O4L NUB) DIZ OWN IZ 21 MUCJH 4U2 HNADLE MABY U SHLD TAK A GAYCATION BK2 TEH CITY OF FALLANTIS YOUR THE KING THERE LOL BTER BRIGN SUM TISSUS B4 U SINK UR HOMOTOWN WIHT YOURE TAERS N BOOTYSMOOTHIES ROLF I THOT OWNAGE DIZ HARD WS JOS A MYTH B4I MET U LOL ENJY YOURE AUTISTIC U PROBLY PLAY 2HOE ON EZ NERD POOPERPWNED

[B]I'm sowwy if this is wong, but I have a wot on my pwate wight now. I'm using an owd, shitty account fwom wike 3 yeaws ago fow this because I don't want this to become a pewmanent stain on my main one.

[BIC] So befowe I get into the meat (heh) of things, I want to pwovide a wittwe context fiwst.

[BIC] My giwwfwiend and I have been dating fow about 6 months, and wecentwy we've stawted to have sex fow the fiwst time evew. We'we both ouw fiwsts. I'm a mixed bwack and white dowk standing at 6'1 whiwe she's a pawe, showt dowk standing at 5'4. She's awways been a bit shy but that's pwobabwy what attwacts me to hew the most. I weawwy want hew to open up to me about anything and evewything. Hew intewests, hew anxieties, hew desiwes, etc. I just want hew to be honest with me whiwe I do the same fow hew. I don't think eithew of us want to have some sowt of suwpwise secwet coming out of nowhewe in the coming yeaws, so it's best to be open eawwy on. We'we both wooking fow something wong tewm and excwusive, wikewy to get mawwied and settwe, and possibwy have a kid ow two.

[BIC]But thewe's one thing that's been bugging both of us watewy.

[BIC]Keep in mind that neithew of us have any sowt of Asian ancestwy whatsoevew. That's going to be impowtant fow watew, pwobabwy.

[BIC]About a month ago we pwayed a fun, hawmwess game of twuth ow dawe. We didn't do anything stupid, just tawked about some of the intewesting things that have happened in ouw wives so faw. I asked hew if she evew kissed a giww befowe. She said no but she did actuawwy touch wips with a giww when she wan into hew in ewementawy. Good, my giwwfwiend is stwaight. We waughed it off, I cawwed hew a dopy wittwe kwutz, hawmwess fun and games, wight? Then the next question.

[BIC]Have you evew watched hentai?

[BIC]Now she's a big anime fan. Me, not so much. I wouwd considew mysewf a vewy basic anime fan. I gwew up watching DBZ and that's pwetty much it. I've seen Akiwa, Cowboy Bebop, FMA:B, and a coupwe othews on my own tewms. But sometimes we watch anime togethew, and she's into some shit I've nevew heawd of befowe. But again, it's aww hawmwess and just fow fun.

[BIC]I towd hew yes, I have watched hentai befowe, but mostwy as an expewiment to see if I actuawwy wike it. I kinda did, kinda didn't. A wot of it is vewy wape-y and I wike my pown to be mowe whowesome. I towd hew this and she says that she watches hentai semi-fwequentwy. She towd me she's gwad that she was finawwy abwe to teww someone this. I'm gwad that someone was me.

[BIC]Fast fowwawd to a week ago.

[BIC]We decided to bump bewwies fow the fiwst time and it was absowutewy amazing. We do a bunch of twists and tuwns and aww is weww. But then she hits me with this:

[BIC] A "Yes, Onii-chan!"

[BIC]At that moment, I twied to intewnawwy sowve this with advanced awgebwa and cawcuwus and shit. By the time I sowve the Pythagowean Theowem of this angwe she's as wed as a tomato. She weawized what she just said and stawts bweaking down cwying.

[BIC]Fow the next hawf houw I get hew to cawm down and towd hew that it was compwetewy okay. Peopwe wet things swip duwing sex aww the time, and it's nothing to be embawwassed about. Hawmwess.

[BIC]I take hew home, teww hew evewything is going to be okay, and go about my night peacefuwwy. She texts me the next day saying it won't happen evew again. Gweat. We both agwee that ouw fiwst time didn't count since neithew of us got ouw socks wocked off.

[BIC]Fast fowwawd to wast night.

[BIC]We'we wockin' and a-boppin' aww night wong, and again, it's fantastic. This time I got to uwt and now it's hew tuwn. I go to town down thewe and she hits me with anothew one of these:

[BIC]"Wight thewe Onii-chan."

[BIC]I unpwug my wips fwom hews and what do I see again? Anothew chewwy tomato. At this point we'we both visibwy fwustwated. I take hew home again, but this time I don't get a text.

[BIC]I've nevew known what Onii-chan actuawwy meant, just that it's used in hentai a wot, so I decided to wook it up this mowning. Appawentwy it means "owdew bwothew" in Japanese. So I'm connecting the dots and have come to the concwusion that she's watched so much hentai that it's stawted to affect ouw wewationship. I don't want to weave hew. She's cute, sweet, and we pway Switch togethew. No one pways Switch with me.

[BIC]My question now is, does she want taww, dawk, and kinda handsome? Ow does she want Onii-chan? Does she want me to WP as hew owdew bwothew, ow does she want me to go 2D wike Papew Mawio?

[BIC]tw;dw My gf has cawwed me Onii-chan twice now and it's wooking wike thewe's no end in sight. I am absowutewy pewpwexed on what my next move shouwd be. Hewp me out pwease.

[BIC]The Alpha of Awe. The Brute of Brawn. The Cultivator of Class. The Duke of Domination. The Emperor of Eloquence. The Fiercest of Fighters. The Greatest of Glory. The Height of Heroism. The Imperator of Intellectualism. The Jarl of Justice. The King of Knights. The Lord of Loquaciousness. The Master of Mortality. The Naysayer of Noobs. The Overlord of Obituaries. The Prince of Passion. The Que-hagen of Quixote. The Ruler of Ruination. The Sultan of Smite. The Taskmaster of Trembles. The Undertaker of Ubiquity. The Vaeyen of Vociferousness. The Warranter of Weaklings. The Xenophobe of Xenogeny. The Yardmaster of Yesteryear. The Zhar of Zoroastrianism.

[BIC] THE INDOMITUS REX
[BIC] THE ALPHA OF ALPHAS
[BIC] THE KING OF KINGS
[BIC] THE LORD OF LORDS
[BIC] THE JUSTICIAR OF JUSTICE
[IMG=W98]
[BIC] CHADREN THE GRAY
[BIC] APEXPREDATORren the MASCULINE
[BIC] GRIPren the CRUSHING
[BIC] INSURMOUNTABLEren the UNSURPASSABLE
[BIC] INDOMITABLEren the UNYIELDING
[BIC] AESTHETICren the BEAUTIFUL
[BIC] SWOLEren the RIPPED
[BIC] TANKren the RESOLUTE
[BIC] PHYSICALLYIMPOSINGren the INTIMIDATING
[BIC] GLAREren the DOMINEERING
[BIC] JUGGERNAUGHTren the UNSTOPPABLE
[BIC] DISCIPLINEDren the ENLIGHTENED
[BIC] ZENren the SPIRITUAL
[BIC] POTENTren the VIRILE
[BIC] ALMIGHTYren the INVINCIBLE
[BIC] VALORren the DAUNTLESS
[BIC] IMPERIOUSren the DOMINATOR
[BIC] INVICTUSren the ETERNAL
[BIC] MAELSTROMren the TITANIC
[BIC] QUAKEren the SPACE-TIME SHAKING
[BIC] COLOSSUSren the LEVIATHAN
[BIC] BEHEMOTHren the MASTODONIC
[BIC] MONSTERren the TERRIFYING
[BIC] LORDren the KING
[BIC] DEITYren the CHRIST
[BIC] CRIMSONren the LEGEND
[BIC] SUPERNOVAren the TRANSIENT
[BIC] RENCHAD THE JI
[BIC] JICHAD THE REN
[BIC] RENCHAD THE CHAD
[BIC] KINGCHAD THE LORDGRAY
[BIC] THE CHAD OF CHADS
[BIC] ENCHAD CHADREN
[BIC] CHADCHAD CHADCHAD CHA CHAD

[BICU]ENTER CHADREN
[IMG=KOC]
[BIC]Jiren the goddamn Gray. This guy... God, he's just such an amazing fucking character. Not only did he establish himself as the strongest character in the franchise WITHOUT asspulls and "muh friendship" powerups, but his mere existence and the observation of his actions and personality can teach deep lessons of philosophy and ethical nuance if one has the proper intellectual capacity and mental fortitude to embrace such lessons.

[BIC]No lie: since becoming a Jiren fanatic, my IQ has gone up an unprecedented 20 points. My friend is an English professor at an esteemed institute of wisdom and knowledge, and he deemed my incredible lexicon and masterful grasp of the English language astute enough for me to come in and guest lecture on a subject I could relate to the importance of the written word. Naturally, I chose Jiren the Gray. I can't tell you how amazing it was to see all the heretofore unenlightened individuals and the looks of pure, innocent understand that came over their faces as I elucidated the truth about the single greatest and most important character in all of fiction. A philosophy professor happened to overhear my musings and invited me to guest lecture in his class next week, so I'll probably spend the next few days preparing a lengthy expose on how Jiren's characterization espouses themes heavily present in esotericism and dichotomism, as well as the more subtle but no less evident influences stemming from ancient religious codes such as Zoroastrianism and Confucianism.

[BIC]None of this would have been possible without Jiren the GREAT'S influence. I humbly thank him from bended knee, and encourage you all to do the same. Rise to my intellectual heights by accepting Jiren into your hearts. Ascend, brothers and sisters.

[BIC]You swine. You vulgar little maggot. You worthless bag of filth. I wager you couldn't empty a boot of excrement were the instructions on the heel. You are a canker. A sore that won't go away. I would rather kiss a lawyer than be seen with you. Try to edit your responses of unnecessary material before attempting to impress us with your insight. The evidence that you are a nincompoop will still be available to readers, but they will be able to access it more rapidly. You snail-skulled little rabbit. Would that a hawk pick you up, drive its beak into your brain, and upon finding it rancid set you loose to fly briefly before spattering the ocean rocks with the frothy pink shame of your ignoble blood. May you choke on the queasy, convulsing nausea of your own trite, foolish beliefs. You are weary, stale, flat and unprofitable. You are grimy, squalid, nasty and profane. You are foul and disgusting. You're a fool, an ignoramus. And what meaning do you expect your delusional self-important statements of unknowing, inexperienced opinion to have to us who think and reason? What fantasy do you hold that you would believe that your tiny-fisted tantrums would have more weight than that of a leprous desert rat, spinning rabidly in a circle, waiting for the bite of the snake? You are a waste of flesh. You have no rhythm. You are ridiculous and obnoxious. You are the moral equivalent of a leech. You are a living emptiness, a meaningless void. You are sour and senile. You are a disease, you puerile one-handed slack-jawed , drooling meatslapper. You smarmy lagerlout git. You bloody woofter sod. Bugger off, pillock. You grotty wanking oik artless base-court apple-john. You clouted boggish foot-licking twit. You dankish clack-dish plonker. You gormless crook-pated tosser. You churlish boil-brained clotpole ponce. You cockered bum-bailey poofter. You gob-kissing gleeking flap-mouthed coxcomb. You dread-bolted fobbing beef-witted clapper-clawed flirt-gill. You are a fiend and a coward, and you have bad breath. You are degenerate, noxious and depraved. I feel debased just for knowing you exist. I despise everything about you, and I wish you would go away. I cannot believe how incredibly stupid you are. I mean rock-hard stupid. Dehydrated-rock-hard stupid. Stupid so stupid that it goes way beyond the stupid we know into a whole different dimension of stupid. You are trans-stupid stupid. Meta-stupid. Some pure essence of a stupid so uncontaminated by anything else as to be beyond the laws of physics that we know. I'm sorry. I can't go on. This is an epiphany of stupid for me. After this, you may not hear from me again for a while. I don't have enough strength left to deride your ignorant questions and half-baked comments about unimportant trivia, or any of the rest of this drivel. Duh. I mean, really, stringing together a bunch of insults among a load of babbling was hardly effective. True, these are rudimentary skills that many of us 'normal' people take for granted that everyone has an easy time of mastering. But we sometimes forget that there are 'challenged' persons in this world who find these things more difficult. If I had known, that this was your case then I would have never read your post. It just wouldn't have been 'right'. Sort of like parking in a handicap space. I wish you the best of luck in the emotional, and social struggles that seem to be placing such a demand on you. You're an idiot. A moron of the highest order. You're so stupid it's a wonder and a pity you can remember to breath. Intelligent ideas bounce off your head as if it were coated with teflon. Creative thoughts take alternate transportation in order to avoid even being in the same state as you. If you had an original thought it would die of loneliness before the hour was out. On an intelligence scale of 1 to 10 (10 corresponding to the highest attainable IQ) you're rating is so far into negative numbers that one would need to travel into another quantum reality in order to even catch a distant glimpse of it. Your personality is that of a rabid Chihuahua intent on destroying its own tail. Your powers of observation are akin to those of the bird that keeps slamming into the picture window trying to get that other bird it keeps seeing. You are walking, talking proof that you don't have to be sentient to survive, and that Barnum was thinking of you when he uttered his immortal phrase regarding the birth of a sucker. You are, at varying times, tedious, boring, and even occasionally earth shatteringly hilarious in your idiocy, routinely childish, moronic, pathetic, wretched, disgusting and pitiful. You are wholly without any redeeming social grace or value. If God ever decides to give the planet an enema you'd better run like the wind because anywhere you stand is a suitable place for The Insertion. There is no animal so disgusting, so vile that it deserves comparison to you, for even the lowest, dirtiest, most parasitic member of the animal kingdom fills an ecological niche. You fill no niche. To call you a parasite would be injurious and defamatory to the thousands of honest parasitic species. You are worse than vermin, for vermin do not pretend to be what it is not. You are truly human garbage. You are a fraudulent, lying, predatory charlatan. You are of less worth than a burnt-out light bulb. You will forever live in shame. You have nothing to say, and Godwin's Law does not apply when writing about you. You are the anti-Midas, for all that you touch becomes valueless and unusable. Mothers gather their children close when you appear. You are an aberration, a corruption, and a boil that needs to be lanced. You are a poison in need of being vomited. You are a tooth so rotten it infects the whole body. You are sperm that should have been captured in a condom and flushed down a toilet. I don't like you. I don't like anybody who has as little respect for others as you do. Go away, you swine. You're a putrescent mass, a walking vomit. You are a spineless little worm deserving nothing but the profoundest contempt. You are a jerk, a cad, and a weasel. Your life is a monument to stupidity. You are a stench, a revulsion, a big suck on a sour lemon. You are a curdled staggering mutant dwarf smeared richly with the effluvia and offal accompanying your alleged birth into this world. Meaningful to no one, abandoned by the puke-drooling, giggling beasts that sired you and then killed themselves in recognition of what they had done. I will never get over the embarrassment of belonging to the same species as you. You are a monster, an ogre, a malformity. I wretch at the very thought of you. You have all the appeal of a paper cut. Lepers avoid you. You are vile, worthless, less than nothing. You are a weed, a fungus, and the dregs of this earth. And did I mention you smell? Monkeys look down on you. Even sheep won't have sex with you. You are unreservedly pathetic, starved for attention, and lost in a land that reality forgot. You are a waste of flesh. On a good day you're a halfwit. You are deficient in all that lends character. You have the personality of wallpaper. You are dank and filthy. You are asinine and benighted. You are the source of all unpleasantness. You spread misery and sorrow wherever you go. You are a fiend and a coward, and you have bad breath. You are degenerate, noxious and depraved. I feel debased just for knowing you exist. I despise everything about you, and I wish you would go away. I cannot believe how incredibly stupid you are. The only thing worse than your logic is your manners. Maybe later in life, after you have learned to read, write, study, spell, and count, you will have more success. True, these are rudimentary skills that many of us 'normal' people take for granted that everyone has an easy time of mastering. It just wouldn't have been 'right'. Sort of like parking in a handicap space. I wish you the best of luck in the emotional, and social struggles that seem to be placing such a demand on you. You are hypocritical, greedy, violent, malevolent, vengeful, cowardly, deadly, mendacious, meretricious, loathsome, despicable, belligerent, opportunistic, barratrous, contemptible, criminal, fascistic, bigoted, racist, sexist, avaricious, tasteless, idiotic, brain-damaged, imbecilic, insane, arrogant, deceitful, demented, lame, self-righteous, byzantine, conspiratorial, satanic, fraudulent, libellous, bilious, splenetic, spastic, ignorant, clueless, illegitimate, harmful, destructive, dumb, evasive, double-talking, devious, revisionist, narrow, manipulative, paternalistic, fundamentalist, dogmatic, idolatrous, unethical, cultic, diseased, suppressive, controlling, restrictive, malignant, deceptive, dim, crazy, weird, dystrophic, stifling, uncaring, plantigrade, grim, unsympathetic, jargon-spouting, censorious, secretive, aggressive, mind-numbing, abrasive, poisonous, flagrant, self-destructive, abusive, and socially-retarded. Shut up and go away lest you achieve the physical retribution for your behaviour merits.

[BICU]All hail QUINTESSENTIALren the MASTER.
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[BIC] This character is single-handedly responsible for transforming erstwhile cesspools of nonsensical, interminable dross into hallowed basilicas of radiant esoteric, scintillating discussion amongst learned and sophisticated intellectuals, as well as introducing a sorely-needed angle of nuance and multi-faceted complexity into the hitherto shallow and surface-level franchise that was Dragon Ball.

[BIC]Praise be unto him! Praise be unto Toei Animation for crafting such a magnanimous masterpiece!

[BIC]HUMBLEren accepts no praise.
[BIC]PRAYERren speaks to a higher power, not for protection, but for clarity and inner peace.
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[BIC]This scene represents a conflicting of ideals: it showcases and criticizes Goku's singlemindedness in relationship to his strength, and seeks to underscore the ultimate folly that is disregarding those whose strength one deems as unremarkable and unworthy. It serves as a parallel to the gradual decline of Goku's relationships with those he once deemed insurmountably close friends and allies (Roshi, Krillin, Yamcha, Tenshinhan, Piccolo) only to discard them when the perceived gap between their abilities became too wide. This is made even more damning by the subconscious aspect to it: Goku never consciously decided to reduce his friendships and alliances to passing fancies and brief path-crossings when the situation deemed it convenient. It was simply his nature, his intrinsic being, the sum total of his natural self.

[BIC]">Dragon Ball isn't deep!"
[BIC]I cachinnate at such mentally-stunted ruffians.

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[BICU]Here take a tune or two.

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