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Stupid Piece of Sh*t - Script

danielgritsch Mar 19th, 2019 (edited) 90 Never
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  1. Piece of shit.
  2. Stupid piece of shit.
  3. You're a real stupid piece of shit.
  4. But I know I'm a piece of shit.
  5. That at least makes me better than all the pieces of shit who don't know they're pieces of shit.
  6. Or is it worse? Breakfast.
  7. Oh, I don't deserve breakfast.
  8. Shut up.
  9. Don't feel sorry for yourself. What does that do?
  10. Get breakfast, you stupid fat-ass.
  11. Uhhh. These are cookies.
  12. This is not breakfast.
  13. You are eating cookies.
  14. Stop it.
  15. Stop eating cookies and go make yourself breakfast.
  16. Stop it.
  17. Don't eat one more cookie.
  18. Put that cookie down.
  19. Do not eat that cookie.
  20. I can't believe you ate that cookie.
  21. HH: - Hey, BoJack, we need milk.
  22. BE: - For the baby.
  23. BJ: - For the what?
  24. BE: - Where is the baby? I saw
  25. HH: - Can I borrow your car?
  26. BJ: - What baby?
  27. HH: I don't know.
  28. Tina's gonna make breakfast.
  29. She needs milk.
  30. Can I take the car or what?
  31. BJ: Shit.
  32. I don't want her driving my car, getting her grubby hands all over everything.
  33. She's not grubby, she's your daughter, you piece of garbage.
  34. You're a piece of garbage, a real shitty piece of garbage.
  35. Uhhh. Okay think, idiot.
  36. If she takes the car, then you're trapped here with Mom and her spooky lazy eyes.
  37. But if you get the milk and leave Hollyhock here with Mom, then she could tell her things about you, poison your own daughter against you, is that what you want? Okay, how about, ummm. Hold on.
  38. Oh Shit. They're all looking at you.
  39. Say something, Dumb-Dumb! Open your idiot dumb-ass mouth!
  40. I WILL GET MILK.
  41. Milk, milk, milk, milk, milk.
  42. What are they talking about right now? Probably you and what a dumb piece of trash you are, you fat sack of idiot.
  43. Why don't you do the world a favor and swerve into oncoming traffic? No, you don't deserve to die young, only the greats die young.
  44. Oh, now you think you're young all of a sudden?
  45. One drink.
  46. Whoa.
  47. Is it night suddenly?
  48. Suddenly sundown.
  49. Suddenly "Sooze-town".
  50. What was that show? "Suddenly Sooze-town?" Brooke Shields...something? Show was on for like five years and now nobody..
  51. - Oh, my God, is that life? You're there, you do your thing, and then people forget.
  52. "Forget it, Jake. It's Sooze-town".
  53. Is that me? Am I the Suddenly Sooze-town of people? Shit.
  54. Oh, shit.
  55. You gotta drive.
  56. Sober up, buddy.
  57. Here we go, sober now! Sober, now! Come on, you drunk piece of shit, be less drunk.
  58. Now! Okay.
  59. Idiot.
  60. What'd you do all day? Piece of shit.
  61. That's a day you'll never get back.
  62. What was that? You're a real piece of Shh-
  63. HH: Where have you been?
  64. BJ: - Uhhh
  65. HH: Did you get the milk?
  66. BJ: - Uhhh
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