old write by gunjy
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JHLMAltOs9Q

My hearts in pain
I need to train my brain
to be tame in the art of disdain
I dont march the same,
sharp shame in every part of my frame
I need to stop saying I wish I could start again
My past is lame, no contrast im ashamed,
wonder how much longer I can last in the game
I want it to be over fast,
run over and pass the lanes on the overpass,
A shower of glass!
hit with enough power to put my ass in a cast
and I still get up in an hour an half
and laugh its daft,
I could survive as a flower against a nuclear blast
So I scour the city looking for ways to meet the dark
maybe a tall tower could help me complete the task
as I get ready to sleep
I put on my favorite beat
have a bite to eat
and treat myself to a flask
Im steady before I leap,
I dont care if I look like spilt spaghetti on the street,
broken pieces in a bloody heap, im already a freak
I dont mean to be weak as if im not a man at all
like my dick is small, but shit its tall!
what if I lose grip of the wall and slip and fall
not die quick and crawl, sick on the floor?
fuck it yall I cant put up with it any more
I wont forget what im quitting for
was a bit unsure before
but now from where I sit im sure
Im spitting raw, I dont need to look hard
like im trying to read something written small
I try to do a flip on my way down
miss the ground and get laughed at
by little shits in the playground
these misfits think im some type of gay clown
but I dont play around,
so I pick up some sticks and attack,Whack!
I wonder how long it would take to, say drown?
I might just
put bricks in my back pack and jump into the next lake found

(chorus? x2)
I cant wait to break my crown
if you can relate to my sound
your fate is bound
to take you underground before your time,
demons claw my mind
see nothing but confusion like Saul im blind
A solution I crawl to find
is it self execution so I can leave it all behind


[Verse two]
this depression got me caught in my bed
endlessly streesin how I ought to be dead
im wrestling with thoughts in my head
did I mention I tried to talk to em
know what they said?
"Theres no hope to be free
you will never cope and be happy
hopefully youll swing from a rope in a tree"
And I totally agree,
dame,I might just end it here
Man, I intend to disappear
so I might just slam
this pen in my ear!
but
I need to formulate a plan
some form of escape
so I can
be gone from this place,
understand?
being born was a mistake,
I have trouble going straight
like a snake on sand
feet neverland like I levitate
im twenty four but im more like peter pan
Wallets empty im poor,
can you call it life if you only ever crawl
what are you afriad to exit for?
im sure we all get plenty more,
chances at life
but what if the answers arent nice
and nobody dance's twice
and we cant look through the eyes
of panthers or mice,
and once we die our souls cold as ice
no gold but what if I told you
i can hold a whole bowl of rice
and eat it at night without the fright
of getting involved in a knife fight,
I can even control the light
I dont wannah grow old
but I might not fold,lo and behold
compared to others I have it alright