Time (Suzu / Miki extra)

Time (During their 2nd year at Yamaku, Suzu goes for an impromptu moonlight stroll, with Miki giving chase)


This isn't funny anymore. How the hell is she so fast? My legs pound the floor beneath me, but she's still ahead of me, about to dart up another flight of stairs. Damn it Suzu, damn it, damn it, slow down!
In the few months I've known her, I've never seen her move this fast for anything. Normally running around and other intense physical stuff like that is dangerous for her, since she's liable to conk out just about anytime.
That's not an issue right now though.
Suzu bolts ahead of me, reaching the base of the stairs up to the third floor, where she stops for a moment and looks back at me. I think she's looking at me anyway, then again, maybe I hope she isn't with an expression like that. Her face is streaked with tears, her eyes wide open and terrified but empty at the same time. She's both scared out of her goddamn mind and determined, looking like she wants to scream, like she wants to swing wildly in rage and desperation and who the hell knows what else. For a moment I slow down, I guess it's a little impressive and almost intimidating at the same time, but then she turns and begins pounding up the stairs, moving as fast as she can.
Goddamn it, Suzu. Just wake up already.
Please.
I give chase, who the hell knows what she might do in this condition. I'm just glad she isn't screaming anymore, like she was one floor ago. How the hell did I get myself into this? What was I doing before--oh yeah, right. A freaking bowl of noodles, five minutes ago, that's all.



I slump onto the bed, well and completely exhausted after another day of track practice. It's been a few months, but the guys are finally starting to get used to getting shown up by a girl, or one that isn't Ibarazaki, at least. I got a little bit closer to her time today though, if I can just keep inching up... ah, who the hell am I kidding. That girl is too damn fast, she runs like the starting line is made of wolves and the finish line is made of cake, or something like that.
I turn onto my back, staring up at my ceiling and trying not to feel bitter. Being in second place ain't so bad. And besides, at least I've still got my legs. If I was like that, I would run for all I'm worth too.
My skin is still flush from a nice hot shower, damn it feels good to take one this late. Let's see, what else do I have to do tonight. There's that movie I borrowed from Takashi... seems pretty artsy. Might be too “deep” for me, he would probably say that. Pssh, he'd be surprised, but screw him, it looks boring anyway. I've got some math homework, but... yeah... no.
Huh. Damn, I guess tonight might be a pretty boring night after all. I glance at the clock, turns out it's actually a lot later than I thought. I guess I could just go to bed. Or I could... well...
Nah. I'm actually kind of hungry. With some effort, I manage to separate myself from my bed and lurch over to my desk. Let's see, nothing here, this bag is... nah, don't wanna eat that. I reach for one of the drawers, and realize a second later that I'm trying to open it with the wrong hand. Goddammit. They said this was going to take some getting used to. Like they know how this feels. To be stuck with this stupid, ugly... stump.
Stump. Damn it. That's what my left hand is now.
I still keep it wrapped in the bandages, I don't know, maybe anything is better than looking at that empty space, that blank nub of skin. I resist the urge to compare my two wrists, instead using my “good” hand to pull open my desk drawer. Awesome, some instant noodles. It'll have to do.
Prize in hand--hand... ha ha. Damn it.--I slip out my door and begin making my way towards the common room, where I'll find water and a microwave and maybe some other nightowl, I could use  the conversation to take my mind off this shit. A few doors down, I come to a stop.
“Suzuki”, the nameplate reads. The girl inside is probably sleeping, maybe I should wake her up. Misery loves company, after all.
I can't help it. Ever since Suzu got back, she's been a wreck. Missing a month of school would be bad enough, after her return she's been completely out of it. When she does come to class she falls asleep even more often than before, and even when she's awake she looks so damn lost, I just can't stand it. I'm the last person who should be taking care of anyone else, but I can't sit back and watch her like this. If a mother can lift up a car to save her kid underneath, then maybe even someone like me can help a girl like her.



-Haah- I make my way up the stairs, does she have any -haah- idea how late it is? Far too damn late to be running around. Lucky for me, Suzu stumbles at the top of the staircase and takes a dive, I'm able to catch up with her. For a scrawny little thing--skin and bones now compared to when I first met her, we should fix that--she's pretty fast. Shame she already turned me down when I asked her to join the track team, apparently just gym class is more than enough running for her. Well it's certainly payed off, except not anymore. I'm finally standing next to her. I take a couple seconds to catch my breath before speaking.
“Suzu, wake up.” She looks around, her eyes still far away and unfocused. She's sucking in ragged breaths, and I can make out her trembling in the low light.
“C'mon, you're having a nightmare.” Still no response. “Look, you just--” I reach out to pull her to her feet, but Suzu explodes.
“No, no no!” She screams, flinching at my touch and throwing herself backwards against the wall. She scrambles up, looking around desperately. What the hell is she seeing?
“Suzu, please, it's just a bad dream.” I take a careful step towards her, and she turns that unseeing gaze on me. Tears are flowing readily from her empty eyes, her body is coiled like a spring.
I take another step, and Suzu tilts her head a bit and smiles. It's a painful, agonized smile, the kind you make when saying goodbye at a funeral. It's the smile of someone whose only other option is to shatter into a thousand pieces. That smile breaks my goddamn heart.
“I'm sorry.” She says, taking a step backwards.
“Suzu, damn it, just wake up!” I reach out with my one hand, but she backs away further, sliding along the wall for a few feet before moving into the center of the hallway.
“I'm right behind you” She says simply, to someone I can't see. “I'm coming there, hold on.”
She takes off again. Where the hell does she think she's going? We're on the top floor. When I catch her this time I'm going to shake her so hard she'll have no option but to--
Oh shit. The window at the far end of the hall, some idiot left it open. Suzu is headed straight for it.
Shit shit shit shit.



I decide to knock after all, if she's awake I might stand a chance at getting that math homework done with her help. But before I can rap my knuckles on the door, there's a loud crash from inside, followed by a yelp.
Well that's weird. “Suzu?” I call gently.
Something thumps against the other side of the door, I leap backwards in surprise. I have a bad feeling about this, that alarm starts going off somewhere in my head, the one that says something's wrong.
I hear a few more crashing noises, then the sound of fists beating on the door.
“Suzu, open up!” I yell. Screw being quiet, my friend could be getting murdered in there!
The clicking sound of a lock hastily being undone echoes through the deserted hallway. The door swings open and Suzu bursts forward like a bat out of hell, almost smashing into me in the process. I glance towards her room, but it seems to be empty, apart from the usual battlefield that makes up her floor.
“Hey, what are you doing? Are you okay?” She's definitely acting weird. Her head snaps in my direction, but her eyes are blurry and distant.
“Miki, is that you? I don't--oh.” She stops. “Oh, no.” She begins taking a few steps backwards, in the direction of the staircase at the end of the hallway.
“What's wrong?” Is she sleepwalking? Sleeptalking? Is this another narcolepsy thing?
“Sorry, I--” She shoots a glance towards the stairs, empty eyes wide. “Wait! Wait for me!”
She takes off at a run. What the hell? I let the cup of noodles fall to the floor and chase after her, but she's faster than she looks. As she makes for the staircase, she shoots a few glances back in my direction, eyes wider and more filled with fear each time. She's definitely sleepwalking. Screw that, sleeprunning, I didn't even know that was a thing, leave it to Suzu to pioneer crap like that.
By the time we get to the second floor, I still haven't closed the gap between us.
“Wait, please!” Suzu cries, panting between words.
“Goddammit, take your own advice!” I call after her. She looks back in my direction and shrieks in terror, her pace doubling. Is she chasing something, or being chased? Or both?
Well that's it, the entire floor, maybe the entire girls' dormitory is awake now. This is just great.



“Suzu, if you even think about going through that window I will--” But she's not listening, of course. I've almost caught up to her by now, she's faster than I expected but I'm the fastest there is at Yamaku. Well, almost. Who cares about that right now though, this little idiot, one of the only girls in the whole school I actually get along with, is having some stupid night terror or something and might be about to get herself killed.
My lungs are screaming at me, my heartbeat is heavy and raw in my chest, running track is completely different from racing up stairs. She must be feeling it too, I'm so close to her now, but I'm out of time, she's reached the window and--
Suzu hits the open window, hoists one leg up onto the sill, and turns her head around.
“I win.” She says, her eyes shining oddly in the low light, face still a mess of tears. She jumps.
“Fuck that.” I snarl. Time slows to a crawl. I reach through the open window with my only hand, snatching her arm. Suzu's momentum almost pulls me out the window with her, she swings back towards the outside wall of the girls' dormitory and slams into it with a loud thud.
I hope that hurt. It certainly seems like it, Suzu is blinking and looking around in shock.
“Where am I?” She mumbles in complete confusion.
“You just tried to kill yourself, you freaking idiot!” Even as skinny as she is these days, I'm struggling to hold onto her, my body pressed painfully into the windowsill. Suzu looks up at me, eyes wide.
“Miki? What's going on? Why am I--” She finally seems to realize where she is, and squeals in terror.
“Don't let go!” She pleads, her eyes darting from my face to the long, long way down. A chill night breeze hits us, billowing her hair back and forth.
“It's not on my to-do list!” I reply through grit teeth, the muscles in my arm beginning to ache in protest. I try to pull her up, but I can't manage it with just one arm. Damn it, god damn it, if I only had two hands!
“Miki, please, don't let go!”
“I'm not going to, shut up!” I can hear doors opening in the hallway behind me, confused and sleepy voices, other students asking what's going on.
“Someone get over here and help me god damnit!” I yell over my shoulder, but I feel my grip on Suzu's arm beginning to slip.
“Ah, shit...” My hold on her weakens, and she begins to fall. Suzu seems too scared to even scream as she begins slipping downward towards the dark ground, many floors below. With a mix of despair and hatred towards my weak body, I know that I can't hold on any longer. My hand slips.
Suzu falls for only half an instant, her arms flailing wildly, before I shoot forward with the only thing I have left--the bandaged stump that is my other hand. She latches onto it like a lifeboat, clutching my wrist with all her strength. Pain shoots through my left arm, holy shit, I wasn't expecting that, I guess it isn't as far along as I thought it was. I bite down on my lip to distract myself from the sudden agony. I taste blood. I don't care. I don't care.
Even then, there's nothing for her to really grip onto, even with both hands. She begins to slowly slip downward again. Our eyes meet.
“Miki, I--” She's shaking like a leaf now. For fuck's sake.
“Shut up, Suzu. Just shut up, I'm not losing you, you idiot.” And I'm not lying. I feel hands on my shoulders, someone grabs my waist, they begin pulling me backwards. Slowly, the other girls of the top floor help me hoist Suzu back through the window. When we finally get her through the windowsill, she flings herself against me, and we land in a crumpled heap on the floor.
No one says anything for a few moments, everyone present is still in shock at what almost just happened, maybe. Suzu buries her head in my chest, her whole body trembling.

Once everyone has recovered a bit and explanations are given to the other residents and the staff (night terrors, hallucinations, some other narcolepsy stuff, all made worse by recent events, everyone was pretty damn understanding), I'm given the task of getting Suzu back to her room. I'm completely exhausted physically and mentally, still shaking a little from the adrenalin. Suzu has, like she usually does, passed out again, but at least this time she's sleeping peacefully. As the crowds begin to disperse and I assure the night nurses and guards that we'll be okay, I scoop her up in my arms and carry her towards the elevator. I never want to see another frigging staircase again. Or a window. Man, screw that.
We pass the ride back to the first floor in silence, Suzu's thin body pressed against me. Her chest slowly rises up and down, her breathing soft and regular. When she's like this it's not so bad at all. In fact, it's kind of peaceful. I just hope tonight doesn't become a regular thing.
Feeling like I could drop dead myself any second, I finally make it back to Suzu's room. Stepping through the door, I wade through the mounds of crap scattered around her floor to reach her bed, and gently deposit her into it. I glance around, most of it's the usual junk littering her carpet, but there seems to be a lot more cans than usual. Coffee, energy drinks, there's even an empty bottle of some kind of awakeness pills on her nightstand. Shit, maybe this has been happening a lot. Ever since she got back? Has she been trying this hard to stay awake at night, just so she wouldn't keep having nightmares like this?
God damn. I resolve to make her tell me all about it in the morning, after all the shit I had to go through tonight I've earned the right to know what's going on with her at least. I get up to leave, but Suzu moans in her sleep. Her hand reaches out as if searching for something. I reach out with my right hand and she takes it in hers, squeezing it tightly. I guess I'm stuck now.
Oh well, her bed is big enough for two, and I'm so damn tired. I push Suzu over a bit, slide into the bed next to her, and then pull the blankets over us. It's so late at night that it's technically early in the morning, but maybe if I'm here she won't be going for another moonlight run. Some part of me just can't walk away and leave her like this, not after seeing her shivering like that, hearing her cry out in terror, not after almost losing one of my only friends, even if we haven't known eachother that long.
Shit, I've turned into somebody's mother. Whatever.
I shift around a bit, trying to get comfortable. The girl next to me doesn't stir, the only signs of her existence are her quiet, deep breaths and the feeling of her chest rising and falling with them. Eh, maybe I could get used to this. She's pretty cute, even if she sure is a handful at times.
Goddammit, I did it again. Ha ha, handful.
Damn it.




“Time” is a song by Pink Floyd (Pretty Lights remix)