Why I've been a dick
a guest Apr 23rd, 2019 127 Never
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- So. Let's talk about some bullshit so I can get it off my chest. One, I left Retro Craze of my own accord. I wish no ill will towards that team, the moderators, or the creator. I tend to kinda go off the rocker when something either insults my intelligence, or I'm talked down to.
- Here's what happened.
- I offered to use a spreadsheet for the team to merely put speedrunner, variety, or casual. I didn't ever DM anyone about this, and I only talked about it with Chambers in a public channel.
- Fast foward 2 days.
- I have done NO WORK NOR THOUGHT ABOUT DOING ANYTHING TO THIS SHEET YET.
- I have a ping waiting for me in the Retro Craze team channel, pretty much calling me down for something I did not do. I did not use @everyone. I did not DM ONE SINGLE MEMBER OF THE TEAM ABOUT THIS. I DID however DM the owner, and was met with nothing. No response, nothing. I gave this person ample time to respond, and then I cut them from my online life. I forgot that he has a family, and he may have been busy or just done with Discord for the day. Maybe he needed time to think before responding. I'm the king of 'kneejerk' reactions. I prematurely blocked him. How can someone apologize to you if they don't have the ability?
- I wish no ill will towards Chambers. At all. Do I think the team is a crock of shit that's based solely on making certain people look like they're helping the community, when in reality, they're helping themselves.RIGHT NOW. We all do it. Myself included. So that's not finger pointing, that's stating a FACT. I do follower giveaways on my channel in the hopes that I may garner some viewers, because playing a game on Twitch with no one watching/talking to you sucks butt. We all know that. What I HAVE seen is a move AWAY from this mentality towards a more community based mentality
- Now, I've unbanned Chambers from my channel and my Discord. Again, I overreacted, but no one should ever talk down to anybody in a public setting. I'm a 35 year old man that's extremely intelligent and most of the time I can see right through you. I left that server and team with grace and held my tongue. Basically anyone in authority knows better than to stir the hornet's nest for everyone to see. That would be like my employer reprimanding me in front of customers. They'd get a swift get fucked.
- MY channel is MY channel. If I need to vent on stream, I'm fucking gonna. You know, I had people tell me they'd leave the team if I wanted them too. I don't. I've LOST viewership because of this. It's ME and it's NEVER gonna change. That doesn't mean I dislike, hate, or have any negative thoughts about Retro Craze.
- I want that team to flourish and grow.
- I just don't want to be sucked into some idiot ass high school drama that I didn't create.
- I don't want someone to feel that their superior to me and speak to me as if I were their child, student, or even friend. I'm not saying this was his thought process. It most likely WASN'T. It was how I read it, and it was how a ton of others did too. I found out about it via a DM from a friend. My interaction with Chambers has been minimal. That being said, I probably shouldn't have said the things I said on stream the day of and the day after I left. Yes, I went overboard with my comments. Do I regret the tone in which I said them? Yes. Do I regret WHAT and the CONTENT of what I said?
- Absolutely not.
- I hope that Chambers reads this. I hope that he understands my point of view. I understand HIS POINT OF VIEW. I'm sure he got massive DMs about this, and he was blanketing me in the calldown because I came up with the idea. I get it. I just didn't do anything that was in the call down. Thus it was pointless and demeaning towards me.
- I also mod a few servers and I have never once talked to someone like a punk in a public channel. That's why I left. I will still raid you. I will still host you. I will still support you.
- And if Chambers would unban me from his channel and Discord, I would greatly support him too.
- Retro Craze wasn't a good fit for ME. That doesn't mean the team is BAD. That doesn't mean the people in charge are BAD or DON'T CARE. It's still in it's baby stages.
- I feel that my channel was too non PG for the team anyways, and I was having to alter how I am to fit something else. I never conform. Ever. I tried, and it didn't work.
- Whatever you may think, erasers were fucking made for a reason. We make mistakes. We sometimes overreact, and sometimes we say things that may be over the top. And, unfortunately, you can't take these things back. They are always there, no matter HOW FORGIVING THE PERSON IS.
- So this is my formal apology not only to Chambers, but to the team Retro Craze. It may not seem much of an apology, but if you know me, I don't like to be the first one to start shoveling shit and crow into his mouth. I sure am now.
- I was wrong.
- And that's okay. My side of the street (some will know what I'm talking about) is now clean. I hope everyone has a GREAT day!
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