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Shurikenmaster x Snarkmaster B

Bigwood May 16th, 2016 33 Never
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  1. [19:33:46] <Nagare_Shinobu> Bolstered by the "pep talk" with his fellow lover of bloodshed, particularly the shedding of their enemies' blood, Shinobu decides to try pushing his luck with the escort! Totally won't go wrong. That aside... first, he needs to find the mysterious noble!
  2. [19:34:17] <Sylpi> INSTEAD HE FINDS A HETEROCHROMIAC MIDRIFF-BARING LOLI DRAGON GRAWR
  3. [19:34:26] <Sylpi> jk can you imagine if i did that though
  4. [19:34:50] <Nagare_Shinobu> Yeah, I'd be more triggered than I am when someone mentions Gangnam Style.
  5. [19:34:58] <Sylpi> oh i should play that during this
  6. [19:35:08] <Nagare_Shinobu> FUCK YOU
  7. [19:35:29] <Sylpi> heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeey sexy lady
  8. [19:35:43] <Sylpi> O
  9. [19:35:44] <Sylpi> O O O
  10. [19:35:47] <Sylpi> OPPA GANGNAM STY
  11. [19:35:56] <Nagare_Shinobu> ... double fuck you, now I'm smiling.
  12. [19:36:03] <Sylpi> i'm guffawing to be fair
  13. [19:36:11] <Sylpi> ok maybe i should bust out the alcohol
  14. [19:37:12] <Sylpi> No though, Sylvera wasn't as interested in bathing as you all were, only stepping in for a brief stint.  Like trying to prove to everybody that she could or something.  She's spent the rest of her time outside of the building (as in, the entrance to the spring) just sort of standing there, staring out into space.
  15. [19:37:33] <Sylpi> ... And since Rams made canon that there are yukatas when there really shouldn't be, what the fuck ever I guess she's wearing one of those because they're cute.
  16. [19:37:43] <Sylpi> And maybe drinking milk too.
  17. [19:39:05] <Nagare_Shinobu> There are bikinis, it's totally legit. Shinobu, back into his normal ninja clothes, walks up slowly to the noble, and places his hands on her shoulders. "Hey there, Sylpi. Enjoying the stars, or something?"
  18. [19:39:59] <Sylpi> "Only Vivi can call me that," she responds deadpan without falling around.  "And touch me too, for that matter.  In fact, no, she doesn't even have that permission.  Move 'em or lose 'em."  She steps forward, attitude still going strong.
  19. [19:41:37] <Nagare_Shinobu> Probably should have saw that one coming. "Well, then. I'm sorry." Hands get off the merchandise, and the best takes a slight step away. "So, you think of her highly, or...?"
  20. [19:42:33] <Sylpi> "No, she's useless.  But I did hire her, so I'll give her the benefit of the doubt for a while."  She still doesn't turn around.  "Get to the point.  What do you want?"
  21. [19:42:57] <Sylpi> "You already told me about your purposes here, which was all I wanted.  Now you're useless to me too."
  22. [19:43:33] <Sylpi> "That, and you smell like alcohol."
  23. [19:48:15] <Nagare_Shinobu> "Had a few drinks with Vena. You ever knew that she drinks? 'Cause she drinks," Damn, how to approach. "Anyway... you know anyone by the name of Rolant?" Might as well pin her down to the NS, if he can't flirt effectively.
  24. [19:49:09] <Sylpi> "Why are you asking me that?  Aren't you a Sirrolantean Shinobi, and supposed to be 'the best' at that?  If you have to ask such a thing, you must be even more useless than you look.  So I have no response."
  25. [19:49:20] <Sylpi> "And of course she drinks.  She's human."
  26. [19:49:36] <Sylpi> COLD
  27. [19:49:36] <Sylpi> AS
  28. [19:49:37] <Sylpi> ICE
  29. [19:54:43] <Nagare_Shinobu> "Well, I'd like it to be as accurate as I could. Since you're around, I figure I might as well ask you that... and that wasn't the kind of drinking I meant." Cold as ice, indeed. It's just not cool, being on the receiving end of a beatdown by Sylvera. "So what's up with the cold front? I mean, I'm sure it's the climate that makes cool girls like you, but..."
  30. [19:57:05] <Sylpi> "Hmm.  Not quite, but you almost got me to smile with that one.  6/10."  She turns around and, confirming, she's not smiling.  Almost, but not.  "Didn't I tell you last time we spoke?  I don't get anything out of lying to you, so I'm just being honest about my feelings.  You should be thankful; most women like to lie and lead men on instead.  Which I could if I were interested in a relationship, but, I'm not."
  31. [20:03:02] <Nagare_Shinobu> "Hey, who said I was interested in a relationship? I'd just like to get closer with the person I'm pretty much putting my life down for," Shinobu frowns... not like it's visible, under that facemask of his. "Though I guess with you nobles, you're only looking out for who'd benefit you the most."
  32. [20:04:37] <Sylpi> "Yes, that's right."  Sylvie stares for a bit, unblinking.  And then finally blinks.  "Truth be told, I can't tell how much you know or don't know.  There's one thing about your job you're doing right."
  33. [20:05:41] <Sylpi> "But don't expect any more compliments from me," she turns her face to the side and hmphs.  "Now, do you have an idea about how to 'get closer' or was your entire plan to approach me from behind and make smalltalk?  Because that plan was terrible, and if that's all the ammunition you have you might as well just give up now."
  34. [20:07:57] <Nagare_Shinobu> "Well, I was gonna also ask how you knew that something was hidden underneath there, too," There was a plan in this somewhere! Probably about trying to avoid Sylvera's questions. "I never would have thought that a dragon of all things would hide in there."
  35. [20:11:42] <Sylpi> "Ah, I see."  She faces away from you again.  "You don't understand how staves work.  I'll spoonfeed you an explanation, then: The 'Stone' staff forces petrification on what can be either an organic being or matter of any material composition that isn't, well, stone.  Since I've been using it, I can recognize its use, and could tell something was unnaturally petrified.  So I reversed the process, curious to see what it was.  That's all."
  36. [20:12:46] <Sylpi> "Would you like me to demonstrate how it works for you right here?  That way you could easily be rock-hard in more places than one, I'm sure."
  37. [20:13:06] <Sylpi> The snark is so sharp you take, like, 10 damage.
  38. [20:16:55] <Nagare_Shinobu> Aaaand there goes the Perfectionist buff. Rip shinny. "Oh, so you knew that it was petrified. Sounds interesting. I'll uh... refrain from any demonstrations. Just looking at those petrified guys is petrifying enough... no pun intended."
  39. [20:18:12] <Sylpi> "Good.  Your whole purpose is to trick enemies into trying to attack you and then dodging them, so turning you into a still target would make you even more useless than you already are."   Yawning slightly, Sylvera starts to walk away.  "Are you done already?  If so, goodbye."
  40. [20:19:24] <Nagare_Shinobu> "I'm not done yet, Sylvera," Shinobu begins following. "I've got one more question to ask, if you'll allow me."
  41. [20:19:48] <Sylpi> "Go."  She doesn't stop, but slows down.
  42. [20:24:27] <Nagare_Shinobu> ... shit. This is a really bad place. Open air, open place. No way to tell if anyone catches him or not. "So would you happen to know someone by the name of Noa? I'm told someone who uses staves and knows of Noa would be here." And back in Sirrolant, heading to here!
  43. [20:27:08] <Sylpi> "... Listen."  NOW she stops.  "I've already said that I know who you are, and you know as well as I do that your role is one that only a select few in the world even know exists.  Obviously you work for Noa, and she probably already told you what would come of our meeting and how things would turn out else you wouldn't have been sent out at all.  I thought we had a mutual understanding and didn't even need to say it, so why are you trying so hard?  You're worthless."  As she turns her head back, in her eyes is a condescending expression full of scorn, even more than she usually wears.  As though she's looking at an insect that, at one point, may have had some function in consuming other insects or making compost or something, but is now completely without any use to give it value.
  44. [20:28:27] <Sylpi> "And just FYI, everything I've said in the past has been the truth.  Not a single lie has passed my lips.  How about you, 'Eckhart?'"
  45. [20:28:36] <Sylpi> Not even waiting for a response, she starts walking again.
  46. [20:37:58] <Nagare_Shinobu> "... mission success," Shinobu contemplates following, but definitely does not want to be hit up by a Stone staff. He walks the other way, feeling a large amount of his already massive ego torn off.
  47. [20:38:49] <Sylpi> As soon as you walk off, Sylvera gets mugged by bandits and carried off.
  48. [20:38:54] <Sylpi> [muffled double dragon theme in the distance]
  49. [20:39:23] <Sylpi> nah jk OR AM I
  50. [20:40:18] <Vena> Come on now, Vena is a professional bodyguard that is always listi--watching
  51. [20:40:49] <Sylpi> while naked and drunk?
  52. [20:41:35] <Sylpi> ... Fortunately the SVs are actually REALLY competent canonically, so you can afford to slack off some
  53. [20:41:53] <Sylpi> I mean, even mechanically, these are guys that can tank double crits from swordmasters and live
  54. [20:43:06] <Sylpi> If I were funnier I would actually have one of the meme characters of choice barge in and start hitting on Shinobu, but
  55. [20:43:15] <Sylpi> unfortunately for that notion Claire is a PC and not under my control
  56. [20:43:22] <Sylpi> so /B for now, and you should say it
  57. [20:43:53] <Vena> possibly while naked and drunk
  58. [20:44:04] <Sylpi> (oh, and Jones isn't gay)
  59. [20:45:10] <Sylpi> (and Marah, like literally every other manakete in this setting, just likes watching humans but has no interest in them beyond that- but when i start spewing out dragon bachelors, surely i'll start spewing dragon bachelors out HARD so elly has a lot to choose from and there'll be some leftovers to go around)
  60. [20:46:03] <Sylpi> (and Noel isn't into little boys, and Raquel is too busy being a badass to care about flirting/dating, and Tielle's heart is set)
  61. [20:46:20] <Sylpi> (... Norn's fair game)
  62. [20:52:46] <Sylpi> he got so disheartened that he disappeared eh
  63. [20:53:04] <Sylpi> well while waiting for him to say it i'll just blog about my favorite gaiden item, that i somehow almost forgot exists
  64. [20:53:15] <Nagare_Shinobu> The fuck did you say.
  65. [20:53:27] <Sylpi> SAY IT
  66. [20:54:50] <Nagare_Shinobu> > Sylvera and Shinobu attained a Support Rank of B!
  67. [20:54:54] <Sylpi> thank you
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