Dear Joco,

I woke up missing you after a horny dream.  I guess I miss you touching and holding me while I'm asleep, because I always fee frisky and lonely here.

Today was pretty uneventful- I woke up kinda late, we went to SOuthern Latte and I got a vietnamese coffee, then I rinsed out Remi's carrier.   She has a vet appointment tomorrow, hopefully they can take care of her fleas.  Once I finished that, I pencilled a Kara page, worked on a blog post, did a little drawing, and watched The Shining.  The house is always loud and over stimulating, so it takes me so much longer to collect my thoughts in a coherent manner.  It's a little frustrating, but probably good practice for when we have kids.

Speaking of kids, I still think about that letter you wrote awhile back, from ten years in the future.  At the time, it overwhelmed me a lot, but its the letter I remember best and most fondly, so it must be a good one.

I ate apples and smoked gouda for lunch (which isn't a real lunch, especially since I didn't have breakfast), and am going to run to Winn Dixie with mom for dinner supplies in a little bit.

It's been raining every day here, which makes watercolor even more of a challenge, so I usually just have to let go and accept that my fate is not to paint that day.  I forget how relaxing and vital painting is for me- it's very soothing, and feels productive.

I read through a couple good Neil Gaiman books this week- an anthology of short stories, The Ocean at the End of the Lane which was really good, and then another which I can't remember for some reason.  I like his work a lot, but it seems i've mostly run out of non Sandman stuff.  He also does comics, but I don't want to read comics on my phone.

I love and miss you a lot, even if it annoys me that you're constantly pointing out hwo messy I am, or how bad I am at handling my own business.  Those always kinda sting and deflate me a bit.  I know you want me to change, and I'm trying, but change is slow for me, and it's a one day at a time process for someone like me.  I've at least been working on the anger- I really hope that once that's under control, we can have a much better relationship.  Your positive opinion of me is important, and it's often hard for me to tell how you feel.  I'm not sure if it's because you can be hard to read sometimes, or the fact that you don't make a big deal out of compliments, or my ADHD prevents them from registering.

I've been thinking about our wedding a lot, and it makes me teary-eyed to think that what once seemed impossible is now possible, and closer than I thought.  I'd given up on so many dreams so I could be with you, and I'm so happy that perhaps some of those dreams can actually come true.  It was a sacrifice I was willing to make, but it stung seeing others have the sort of support I'd wanted, and it's so nice to be able to talk about things more openly.

So write back when you get a chance.

I love you, and I can't wait to see what you've done with the apartment!
Becca